All rights to Kiera Cass. This book is designed to make story edits that largely follow the original plot. So even in the edited parts it is often largely Cass's writing.

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Author's note: Hey guys. These chapters get a little gioqengowgo, buuut I hope that gives you inspiration to comment. We're getting so close to the end with only eight chapters left AHHHH. I would love to hit 100 comments and I'm pretty close so if you comment it is super appreciated!

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CHAPTER 30

(Cass)

THE NEXT DAY PASSED IN a blur of black dresses and hugs. Lots of people I'd never even seen before came to Dad's funeral. I wondered if I just didn't know all his friends or if they were here because I was.

A local pastor gave the service, but for security reasons, the family was asked not to stand and speak. There was a reception, far more elaborate than anything we could have ever hoped for. Though no one told me so, I was sure Silvia or some other palace employee had a hand in making this as easy for us and as beautiful as possible. For safety, it was short, but that was fine with me. I wanted to let him go as painlessly as I could.

Aspen stayed near me at all times, and I was grateful for his presence. I couldn't have trusted anyone with my life as I could him.

"I haven't cried since I left the palace," I said. "I thought I'd be a wreck."

"It hits at funny times," he replied. "I fell apart for a few days after my father died, before I realized I had to get it together for everyone else's sake. But sometimes when something would happen and I'd want to tell my dad about it, the whole thing would hit me in the chest again, and I'd break down."

"So . . . I'm normal?"

He smiled. "You're normal."

"I don't know a lot of these people."

"They're all local. We checked identification. It's probably a bit higher of a number because of who you are, but I think your dad made a painting for the Hampshires, and I saw him speaking to Mr. Clippings and Albert Hammers in the market area more than once. It's hard to know everything about people close to you, even the people you love the most."

(edit)

After the funeral, there was a knock at the door and, after a conversation with the guards, Lieutenant Calvin Cane walked in. He took off his hat and brought it to his heart. "I'm sorry for your loss."

My mother looked as though she may begin to cry again, "Calvin." He walked over and hugged her. "You're so grown up now."

"Yes I'm now an advisor to the king." She moved away and looked shocked. Cane had still come around every once in a while to say hi after he had left, but he hadn't mentioned that to the family. "I will always miss singing though."

"The two of you really had quite the act going."

"Being back in here. It's like he's going to walk around the corner and inist we practice 'Change of the Heart' one more time to make sure the vibrato at the end of the chorus is perfect." They both laughed. Kota was still pouting, and Gered and May didn't know Cane well, but Kenna came over and gave him a hug.

"I can't believe he's gone." She whispered. Cane was drafted when Kenna was nine, and as the eldest, he was the closest thing she had to an older sibling.

"He will live on, in the hearts of those he changed forever. He had that ability, you know. To reach out, even in the smallest ways, when people needed it, and make it better." Cane comforted.

Maybe that was all the people at the funeral? Maybe my father didn't just take in Cane when his family was struggling, or talk to Aspen when he needed a dad, maybe he supported more people than I knew. Maybe I was more like him than I thought.

The rest of the afternoon we tried to keep the spirits up.

(Cass)

There were presents left over from Christmas to open since no one had been in the mood for a big gift-giving spree. Gerad was given special permission to play ball in the house, and Mom spent most of the afternoon next to Kenna, holding Astra. Kota was beyond pleasing, so we let him go off into the studio without bothering to check up on him. It was May I worried about the most. She kept saying her hands wanted to work, but she didn't want to go into the studio and not see Dad there.

In an inspired moment, I pulled her and Lucy into my room for some playtime. Lucy was a willing subject as May brushed out her hair, giggling as the makeup brushes tickled her cheeks.

"You do this to me every day!" I complained lightly.

May really had a talent for arranging hair, her artist's eyes ready to work with any medium. While May wore one of the maid uniforms even though it was too big for her, we put dress after dress on Lucy. We settled on a blue one, long and delicate, pinning it in the back so it fit.

"Shoes!" May cried, running to find a matching pair.

"My feet are too wide," Lucy complained.

"Nonsense," May insisted, and Lucy obediently sat on the bed while May tried the most bizarre forms of shoe application on the planet.

Lucy's feet really were too big, but with every attempt she laughed herself into a stupor at May's antics, and I was doubled over watching it all. We were so loud, it was only a matter of time until someone came to see what was going on.

After three quick knocks, I heard Aspen's voice through the door. "Is everything all right in there, miss?"

I ran over and opened the door wide. "Officer Leger, look at our masterpiece." I gave a wide sweep of my arm toward Lucy, and May pulled her up, her poor bare feet hidden under the dress.

Aspen looked at May in her baggy uniform and laughed and then took in Lucy, looking like a princess. "An amazing transformation," he said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Okay, I think we should put your hair all the way up now," May insisted.

Lucy rolled her eyes jokingly toward Aspen and me and let May drag her back to the mirror.

"Was this your idea?" he asked quietly.

"Yes. May looked so lost. I had to distract her."

"She looks better. And Lucy looks happy, too."

"It does as much for me as it does for them. It feels like, if we can do things that are silly or even just typical, I'll be okay."

"You will be. It'll take time, but you'll be okay."

I nodded. But then I started thinking about Dad again, and I didn't want to cry now. I took a deep breath and moved on.

"It seems wrong that I'm the lowest caste left in the Selection," I whispered back to him. "Look at Lucy. She's as pretty and sweet and smart as half of the girls who were in that pool of thirty-five, but this is the best she'll ever have. A few hours in a borrowed dress. It's not right."

Aspen shook his head. "I've gotten to know all your maids pretty well over the last few months, and she's a really special girl."

(edit)

I looked at Aspen, "You like her." He blushed. "You have a crush." I tessed.

"Actually we're kind of together." He admitted.

I smiled wide at him. At least one thing has gone right in this. "Oh Aspen that is so great. You guys deserve each other."

"Prepare yourself for words you thought you'd never hear," Aspen warned, and I looked up at him, waiting. "I'm actually really glad Maxon met you."

I coughed out something close to a laugh.

"I know, I know," he said, rolling his eyes but smiling. "But I don't think he would have ever stopped to wonder about the lower castes if it wasn't for you. I think just you being there has changed things. Besides we both ended up happier than we were together. We were good together, but we weren't the one for each other." I turned to look him solidly in the eye. "We would have held each other back from being everything we could be."

And that's when it hit me. That's what being with Maxon was. He held me back from doing everything I could to help people. That's what I have always been trying to do, that's what my dad did.

"I'm proud of you, America," Aspen said, looking from me to the girls by the mirror. "Really proud." He moved into the hallway, back to his rounds. "Your father would be, too."

But would he. Would my father be proud that I chose Maxon over helping as many people as I could?

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If you were America what would you do?

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