AN: Set just after Season 5 Episode 1 "Bury Your Dead" by request of /u/
"I never thought I would be thankful for the bubonic plague," Ziva announced as she entered Amina's home.
She was met by no less than five confused stares. No one seemed to know what to make of that statement.
"Uh, what?" Pamela spluttered.
Okay, maybe it was not exactly the best way to greet your friends. Or much of a greeting at all. But that did not make her any less relieved for her partner's very much alive status.
"The bubonic plague. I am very thankful for it," Ziva said.
"Isn't that that medieval disease that wiped out like half of Europe because of some rats?"
"Was it really that many?" Fakhir asked in interest. "And it didn't just get Europe. Asia and the Middle East got it too."
"Well, it was a lot of people," Pamela told him.
"That is very true. All down to rats."
He looked vaguely impressed by that. Raphael, on the other hand, did not.
"Yuck," Raphael shuddered and pulled a face.
"Not like rats?" teased Fakhir.
He scrunched up his nose and gave Fakhir a glare.
"No. No, I do not. Nasty little creatures always chewing on everything and carrying disease."
"Have you had rats eat any of your designs?" Liu asked curiously, making everyone chuckle.
"That is not the point!" Raphael said loudly. "They are still horrible little creatures."
"They are quite smart," Ziva defended.
She did quite like rats. Ones that weren't disease ridden, obviously. She thought they were kind of cute. Playful even.
"Evil, you mean. Rats are evil."
"And disgusting," Amina said with a shiver. "They are why I don't go near rivers."
Okay, obviously everyone here shared Tony's opinions on rats and there was almost definitely no way she was going to change that. They did not have to have such disgust on their faces. Tony at least had a very sound reason for fearing rats.
"How come you aren't joining in on the disgust in rats, Fakhir?" Liu asked.
"I am not so disgusted by them as long as they and any other little creature are not in my kitchen."
"Are you not?" Ziva asked curiously.
Fakhir shrugged. "I lived in New York City before I moved here. Rats were a fact of life there."
"That is disgusting," Pamela told him.
"Doesn't make it any less true."
"Looks like that is one place I am definitely never going to go," Raphael said with certainty. They all gave him a disbelieving look. "What?"
"Raphael, you work in the fashion industry," Ziva pointed out.
Even she knew that everything to do with fashion was in New York. She wasn't a hermit.
"I know that," he sniffed. "And I do not stay there when I must go. I stay somewhere on the outskirts and travel back and forth."
"That sounds like a whole load of unnecessary bother," Pamela observed.
"I spend less time close to rats so I am okay with it."
They all just shook their heads at him. Raphael really was ridiculous sometimes.
"I couldn't just avoid work in New York," Fakhir told him.
"I feel sorry for you."
"There were even some at the back of the restaurant where I worked," Fakhir continued. By the bins. We had to take great care to ensure they never came into the kitchen. Health ratings."
They all nodded in understanding at that. The last thing anyone wanted was knowing the place they ate at had a rat problem. Ziva shuddered at the thought. She could stomach a lot of things but rats near her food was definitely not one of them.
"Maybe Liu could get rid of them if they were in your kitchen, Fakhir," Pamela said, giving Liu a playful nudge.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Liu demanded.
"Don't you eat rats?"
"That is a stereotype!" Liu loudly complained.
"Yet, I do not hear you denying the fact," Pamela pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
"I don't eat rats! That's disgusting!"
Pamela raised her hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry."
"You should be," Liu huffed, glaring at her. "It's rumours like that that make my people's food sound disgusting."
"Some of your food is disgusting," Amina told her.
"So is yours! You said your favourite dish back home was goat!"
"Can we not talk about gross foods," Pamela asked, looking a bit green.
"They aren't gross!" Amina told her, her and Liu turning a glare onto the British woman.
"Oh, they are," Raphael assured her.
"Just because our food does not look like your Europeans!"
"Can we maybe get back to the fact that Ziva is thankful for a plague?" Amina asked.
Ziva was almost relieved. She had been unsure about how to get them to stop arguing. Especially when she agreed with Amina and Liu. Westerners were so snobby about food from other cultures sometimes.
"Did your latest criminal die of it?" Liu asked in interest, always wanting to hear gory details.
She shook her head, not wanting to go into detail about Tony's medical history. "It was key in identifying someone today."
"Cool."
"Can we stop talking about diseases?" Raphael complained.
"We are only talking about one," Liu pointed out.
"Which is enough," he said firmly. "Especially since it is the worst one."
Ziva did find it mildly amusing (in hindsight) that the bubonic plague played such a large part in this whole Frog Operation (and yes, she was starting to refer to it as that in her head, not that she was ever admitting it to Tony). Okay, it hadn't been so funny when she thought that Tony was having complications due to his previous contraction of the disease but since he hadn't been everything was okay. Mostly. She still had to research on the long-term consequence of contracting the plague.
"I would much rather be talking about the game," Raphael added. "And how I am going to beat you all."
"Ha!" Amina scoffed, grabbing her tiles. "You have not won the past four games."
"Fifth time is the lucky charm."
"That, that is not the saying," Pamela shook her head.
"Yes, it is!"
