August 21, 2017, 9:27 AM

Jack took a long sip from his mug as Beth stared down at her crossword puzzle. Will had opted not to join them this time – perhaps even he could sense Beth's tension – so it was up to Jack to help with the clues. Not that she was asking, of course. This just proves she only wants to laugh at us.

"At least the wedding's local," Jack offered hesitantly as she scribbled an answer. Her eyes flicked upward to meet his before returning to the crossword. Jack frowned; he thought she was alright when they went to bed the night before, but it seemed the stress had simply been deferred to the morning.

There was an almost inaudible sigh from across the table. "Two-thousand-eight Pixar film about a robot."

Jack stared at her for a long moment. "Do you mean to tell me you've never seen WALL-E?"

"Sounds vaguely familiar," she returned with a slight shrug of her shoulders as she began to write down the answer.

"Uh, it's with an E," Jack told her, pointing to the last space as she finished writing a Y. She glanced up at him, stone-faced, before erasing the erroneous letter. "You sure you're not upset about last night?"

"I'm not upset," Beth confirmed without looking at him as she continued with the crossword.

"Bullshit."

Beth put her pencil down with a little more force than Jack expected. "Excuse me?"

"Not the card game," he quickly clarified, swallowing the lump that had all too quickly formed in his throat. "My ego can't take that again."

"You are so... irritating." Jack had to hold back a sigh of relief when a smile began to form on her face. "Sometimes you need to just let me be mad at you."

"I will make a note in my handy dandy notebook."

Beth snorted a laugh. "Now you're making Blue's Clues references?"

Jack tried to look like he was feigning shock, which he was sure wasn't working since the shock was entirely real. "You've seen Blue's Clues?"

"I was a child once, you know."

"Wait," Jack began, looking pained as he tried and failed to do mental math. "When did Blue's Clues air? Wouldn't you have been, like…?"

"Four?" she added helpfully with a smile.

"I will honestly never be able to keep time straight ever again."

An unreasonably loud bark reminded Jack that he was now the proud parent of an unruly puppy.

"It's your turn," Beth told him, earning a groan.

"But he hates me."

She rolled her eyes at him before looking back down at her crossword. "If you'd just relax, he'd like you fine."

"You telling me to relax?" Jack laughed. "That's rich."

"You're lucky I like you, Jack Joyce."

"Uh huh," he replied with a smirk as he got up from the table and moved toward the back door.

It had been barely been a week, and Toto had already wrought havoc within their precarious household. Will's already dilapidated chair sported several new gouges, claw marks, and they had found one entire tooth embedded in the wood frame.

It seemed not quite all of Toto's permanent teeth had grown in. Jack was sure that if that wasn't the last one, he'd find out by stepping on a canine in the middle of the night. Probably not as bad as a LEGO, but...

Jack stopping briefly to grab Toto's leash before pushing the door open and heading outside. The dog was lounging in the middle of the yard, all four paws up in the air and his tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth. Thankfully it had been sunny all week, otherwise Jack was sure the little monster would be half submerged in a mud puddle.

"Hey Dummy, time to go inside," he called, waving the leash at Toto. The dog barely even acknowledged his presence, instead rolling over to turn away from him. With a sigh, Jack trudged outside barefoot, hoping not to step in anything surprising. Barely a minute earlier Toto was barking to come in, but now he seemed perfectly content to just laze about in the grass. Jack understood dogs just about as well as he understood Beth, it seemed.

Rather than try to wrestle with a pit bull, Jack just flopped down on the grass beside Toto. Much to Jack's surprise, the dog seemed entirely unbothered by this turn of events. Usually he'd earn himself a grunt, or a growl. Or sometimes even a snarl. Instead, Toto just leaned his head back to give his companion a quick glance.

"What, are we friends now?" Jack asked with a laugh, reaching over to risk a pet. The dog responded with a grunt, but seemed to be enjoying the attention. Well, this is new.

"No wonder you and Beth get along so well," Jack continued with a smirk. "You're basically the dog version of her." He paused a moment. "Don't tell her I said that."

The two of them laid together silently in the grass for several minutes, and with the sun beating down on them Jack was starting to understand why Toto was so eager to just lay there for hours. Jack, of course, didn't have that luxury. At some point Beth would come looking for them, and she definitely wouldn't happy about it.

"Come on, buddy, time to go inside." Toto grunted again before getting to his feet. Jack breathed a sigh of relief as he prepared to get up himself, but before he could move Toto flopped down on his chest. "Ooof!"

The dog lazily licked at his face, and had there not been a sixty-pound sack of dead weight laying directly on his lungs Jack might have been excited about the sudden change in demeanor. As it was, though, he was pinned.

"Toto... can't… can't breathe, bud..." Jack wheezed, trying in vain to push the dog away. He should have known better – pit bulls do what they want, after all. He finally gave up and reached toward his pocket for his phone. His ego wouldn't prevent him from calling for reinforcements.

Jack
he)p
Mon 9:49 AM

Beth
what?
Mon 9:51 AM

Jack
pls help dog crushig me
Mon 9:52 AM

Beth
what?
Mon 9:52 AM

Jack
rescue!
Mon 9:53 AM

Beth
omg you're useless
Mon 9:55 AM

It would be another ten minutes before Beth finally showed up to save him from his predicament, and not without taking a picture first for posterity. Jack would never live this one down.