There was a problem last time. Chapter 29 wasn't posted correctly or I don't know what happened, so make sure you've read that one before reading this one ;)


Chapter 30:


Effie was waiting for him right behind the front door when he came home.

He froze for a second, unable to pinpoint what was so weird about her appearance – blond hair pulled up into a messy bun, light pink woolen sweater with flecks of golden threads, tight purple leggings – before realizing she wasn't holding a baby and that had become so rare it registered as odd. Of course, maybe she just looked off because she was as pissed and upset as he was.

"I didn't have a choice." he sighed.

He wanted to rant and rage but… He was too exhausted. Exhausted by that trial that had lasted weeks… Exhausted by the lack of sleep… Exhausted by the fucking odds that were always stacked against them…

They had almost made it too…

Almost

"What happened?" she snapped. "This morning… When you left everything was fine. The deal was secured. Everything was supposed to be fine!"

A soft noise came through the baby monitor in her hand but she ignored it. Her eyes were wide and she was so obviously working herself into a panic…

What had happened?

It had all gone downhill so fast he could barely remember.

The previous day, he and Plutarch had finally gotten the judge to agree to a deal. Katniss would be released in Aster Everdeen's custody and declared incapable, as had been the plan all along. But that morning, right before the final court session started…

He fished a crumpled sheet of paper from his pocket and handed it to her. It was a short letter, one he had read ten times and now knew by heart.

Effie skimmed it once, looked at him in disbelief and then read it over once more.

"There was one for the judge and there's also one for Katniss." He scowled. "She left them at the lawyer's."

"Are you kidding me?" Effie hissed.

Was he kidding about Aster Everdeen deciding to move to Four to help build a hospital and hoping to see them all over there soon but not feeling up to being responsible for her daughter anymore?

"I wish." He rubbed his face. "What's done is done." He shook his head. "Are we camping in the hallway or…"

She stormed off toward the living-room, rereading the letter as she walked.

He understood the feeling but he wanted to tell her she could spare herself the effort. There was no hidden message, no code to break through… It was all pretty straightforward. Aster had bolted, just like he had been afraid she would, asking him in a letter to take up the girl's guardianship instead because she knew he would do better by her. The letter to the judge had been to the same effect. The one to Katniss… He hadn't read it.

It had been a blow but not an unexpected one. They had had a contingency plan in place. Of course he was going to step up.

But then everything had gone awry.

Aster leaving didn't inspire confidence in the Mockingjay. In minutes, they had lost control of the situation entirely.

The judge had stipulated that if Katniss was to be released it would come hand in hand with a banishment to Twelve that could be amended at an ulterior date provided her mental state improved. Taking Katniss' guardianship meant going back to Twelve for what was likely to be years.

Haymitch had hesitated.

It was a lie to say he hadn't.

He had hesitated, right there on national TV, for everyone to see.

Because it wasn't just himself he was committing.

But then the judge had specified the alternative would be internment. In the city. Probably in one of those psychiatric clinics that, frankly, disturbed him. It wouldn't be a nice one like Peeta's because Peeta's was costing a pretty penny. It would be a state funded one, a prison, where she would be swallowed by the system and chewed out… Effie had warned him about what the Capitol did to people who weren't right in the head. And it wasn't pretty.

What else was there to do but stand up and say "I volunteer"?

Plutarch had told him he should have spared them all the dramatics and it had seemed to annoy the judge a little but… When you were doomed on live TV, you might as well go out with a bang. That had always been his attitude, at least, from his own Reaping.

He dropped on the couch, wondering what kind of magic she had worked to make sure the babies would be down for the count by the time he came home. Effie started pacing, glaring daggers at that letter.

"Can we appeal the sentence?" she asked. "At least get the banishment part lifted?"

He shook his head, leaning his elbows on his thighs. "The lawyer advised against it. Says it's already a miracle they agreed to release her at all given the circumstances."

"That woman!" she spat, crumpling the letter in her fist, not unlike what he had done earlier.

"I didn't have a choice." he repeated. "I knew… Look, I knew you'd be pissed. Trust me, I'm pissed. But…"

"Of course you did not have a choice." she snapped. "I am not angry with you. I am just… What are we going to do?"

He swallowed hard, watching her go back and forth, lifting her hands in the air and letting them fall back down…

"Pack." He shrugged. "The hovercraft leaves tomorrow morning."

She froze and turned to him. "Are you kidding me?"

That was twice she had asked that.

"I wish." He snorted. "It's all we could get. They wanted me to go get her right out of court and disappear with her. Plutarch reminded them I was a father of three." He snorted again. "You want my thoughts, they were hoping for something like this. Twelve's victors and the last escort… Out of sight, out of mind. It's better for the rebels." He let out a long breath and rubbed his face. " So, yeah… Tomorrow morning, sweetheart. I'm thinking essentials only. Plutarch's gonna send the rest of our stuff over as soon as possible."

She was still staring at him, her features schooled into a blank mask. He didn't like the way she was looking at him at all. He could almost see the wheels and cogs turning behind her blue eyes.

"What about Peeta?" she asked.

"Peeta's gonna stay in the clinic until Aurelius thinks he's ready to come home." Haymitch countered. "I called him from the court house. The boy watched the trial, he said he would join us when he can."

"We cannot leave Peeta." she argued. "He needs support and…"

"Plutarch will visit and make sure he's safe." Haymitch cut her off, really wary now. He knew what she wasn't quite outwardly saying. He knew. He had known from the moment the judge had mentioned Twelve. "The boy knows we don't have a choice. He understands. He's okay with it."

She averted her eyes, folding her arms over her chest. "Haymitch."

"Don't fucking say it, alright?" he growled. "It's not what we agreed on and I fucking don't wanna go either but it's the cards we've been dealt. It's for our tributes. Kids come first. Ain't that what we always said? Don't fucking say it."

Of course, she was Effie, so she did say it anyway.

"We cannot bring the babies to Twelve."

"Steve's back in Thirteen." he told her. "If there's a problem, it's close enough."

"That is not what I mean and you know it." she argued tiredly. "Twelve is… It is destroyed."

"The Victors' Village's still standing." he countered. "Some people are back already. Sae, Thom… They're gonna rebuild eventually."

"And you believed they were crazy to want to do so." she reminded him.

"Yeah, well…" He licked his lips, looked up at her. "We don't exactly have a choice."

"A ruin of a District is no place for babies." she insisted.

"I am not leaving them behind." he snarled. It had occurred to him that it was the best option, at least temporarily. But the mere thought of leaving the monsters… He couldn't do it. He couldn't. It made him want to go straight to a bottle or take his knife and seriously hurt himself or a thousand bad choices in between. He couldn't abandon his children. "How would that even work? You can barely make it half a day alone with them."

"I am perfectly capable…" she hissed.

"I know you're fucking capable." he interrupted. "I'm just saying we're barely fucking managing when it's two of us full time." He shook his head. "I'm not leaving them. I'm not, Effie."

Her face twisted with anguish. "I do not want to do it alone and I do not want you to leave us but, Haymitch… Even without taking Twelve itself into consideration, I am not comfortable leaving Peeta…"

"Look." he cut her off. "The way I see it, we've got four options. None of them good." She sighed and perched herself on the edge of the coffee table. He grabbed her hands. "Option A. I go with Katniss, you stay behind with the babies and you come to Twelve when Peeta's ready, though that could be months. We both know I won't last a week before I start drinking again." He would never be able to bear being separated from the babies that long, dark thoughts would haunt him back alone in that old house of his and it would be… No. "Option B. I go to Twelve with Katniss and I take the babies with me, probably fuck up a lot and end up begging Sae for help. You stay behind to wait for Peeta."

"No." she refused flat out. Then, she rolled her eyes. "And, yes, I do get the point. You cannot leave them any more than I can."

"Option C." he insisted. "I go to Twelve with Katniss, you stay behind to wait for Peeta. We split the babies between us."

"That is insane. And barbaric." she scoffed. "They would be unhappy, we would be unhappy…" She shook her head. "It is certainly more manageable that a single one of us taking care of the three alone full time but that will also happen over my dead body."

"So, option D, then." He shrugged. "We take the babies, we go to Twelve with Katniss and we check on Peeta on the phone as much as we can. Maybe take a couple of trips to see him. Can probably arrange it with Plutarch, hitch a ride on a hovercraft from Thirteen… I'm supposed to stay with Katniss so it's gonna have to be you but… I think we can maybe get you to make the trip once a week, once every two weeks… I don't know."

She let out a long irritated breath, turning her hands in his so their palms were pressed together. "It is not just that I hate the idea of living in Twelve…"

He scowled. "You think I don't?"

It was like a tailor-made punishment for his own involvement in Coin's death and he was starting to wonder if it wasn't exactly what it was. Sending him back to his own personal version of hell… Out of the way of any political scheming…

"The District is in ruins and the babies…" She sighed again. "They are fragile, Haymitch. Your house…"

"Phone lines have been patched up so the refugees can call for help if they need to." he dismissed. "I'm gonna call Sae when we're done fighting so she can make sure the house's clean, alright? It won't be perfect…"

"We won't have a nursery." she argued.

"We're gonna paint one." he promised, half-begging. "The cribs can go in our room for a few days. We're gonna turn the guest room into a nursery and it's gonna be fine. Plutarch swore he'd have your place packed up and sent over in a couple of days."

She watched him, a bit sad. "A couple of days, you say…"

He knew where she was going with that and he shook his head. "No. Don't ask that of me, sweetheart. Not even for two days. Please, don't. I can't. I swear, Effie, I'm sorry but I can't."

Even a few days without the monsters…

He wouldn't be able to face Twelve with any sort of dignity or bravery if he didn't have her and their kids or, as an alternative, a bottle.

She stared at him hard and she knew him so well… She guessed exactly what he was thinking.

Her shoulders slouched in defeat. "If I ever find myself in front of Aster Everdeen again, I might very well punch her."

"I'll hold your purse." he joked, relief flooding through him, making him almost dizzy. "You're coming tomorrow then? With the babies?"

"If Sae thinks they can make the house clean enough for three babies in that amount of time." she warned. "And… You realize we won't get any sleep tonight? There is too much to pack. It means we have to dismantle some of the furniture… That cannot wait a few days for Plutarch to pack my place. It might almost be more expedient to buy new ones and take the boxes with us tomorrow… We need cribs and a changing table at the very least."

"Let me call Sae." he requested. "See what we can do. Maybe there's stuff we can borrow for a few days over there."

"Clean stuff." she insisted.

"Clean stuff." he promised, leaning forward to kiss her hard on her lips. "Thank you."

He had been scared she would make him go without her.

The whole ride back from the court house he had been scared she would make him go without her.

It was the sensible thing, he knew, the safe thing.

But the babies…

He couldn't…

He couldn't leave them behind.

He needed to protect them.

He needed to make sure they were safe.

He couldn't

"Don't thank me yet." She snorted. "I see a lot of ranting and nagging in your future." She placed a long peck on his lips and stood up. "I will start packing. Go call Sae."

With the difference in time zones, he luckily reached the old woman easily. The communication wasn't as clear as he would have liked. The line sizzled and cracked but it was working enough that he could summed up what had happened and asked her for help. When he hung up, he didn't feel as relieved as he had previously.

He found Effie in their bedroom, forcing clothes into a huge suitcase. She glanced at him. "Did you get a hold on her? We need warm clothes, right? It is not that cold here anymore but in Twelve, it will be, won't it? Do we have clothes warm enough for the babies? Do not just stand there, Haymitch. I need you to go to Morano's, he probably has a few empty cardboard boxes he could spare. I will call Plutarch, he will need to send people over for this tomorrow morning. I do not think he realizes what it means to go anywhere with three babies, even for a few days… I also need to call my parents. They will murder me if I move to the other side of the country again without warning them first. And they will want to say goodbye to the babies, I suppose. And try and convince me this is madness…"

"Maybe it is." he said flatly.

That stopped her dead in her tracks.

She turned to face him, a handful of lacy panties in her hand. "I beg your pardon?"

He ran a hand over his face. "Sae says… The Village's mostly fine. They can have both our house and Katniss' ready for use by the time we arrive… She doesn't think it's risky to bring the babies there if they give it a thorough cleaning."

"That's good." she commented uncertainly. "Why do you look so gloomy?"

"The rest of the District…" He shook his head. "Hovercrafts can only land next to the meadow. We're gonna have to walk to the Village."

She frowned a little. "Hence, why I will be calling Plutarch and tell him about how we need muscles to carry everything."

"No, you don't get it…" He winced. "She said it's… It's really bad. Corpses still in the street bad."

"Oh." She looked down at the panties in her hand for a moment and then forced a smile. "We will take the baby wraps. I just had a third one delivered in green. That is Katniss' favorite color, isn't it? She can carry one of them. We trust her to do that, don't we?" She didn't wait for an answer. "I know they are too young to remember but we cannot let the babies see any of this. They shouldn't be able to see from the wrap."

"It's not just the sight." he warned. "There are a lot of flies. Like… A lot. In the Village too but Sae says it's not as bad."

"If you have fabric thick enough around, I can sew a net for the cribs." she declared. "And for the windows probably."

"There are carrions too." he told her. "Not many 'cause most of the bodies have been charred by the chemical fire but some. Not in the Village itself though, that's safe. But it does mean we're gonna have to be real careful for a while. And there's the smell."

She stared at him, unfazed. "Are you trying to discourage me?"

He avoided her eyes. "Just want you to know what you're signing for. Cause… Cause I'm being a selfish ass and I know it."

A good father would probably leave her behind with his children until it was perfectly safe to bring them over, until the District was more than rubble and decay.

But that…

That would take months.

Perhaps close to a year.

And he wouldn't be allowed to leave Katniss to visit them, not even for a couple of days. That were the terms of the deal.

If he left his family behind, it might be a year before he saw the babies again.

"Well… I will admit I do not have the slightest idea of what living in the wilderness encompasses but I can also guarantee the reality of it won't be as bad as I imagine." she retorted, carefully lying the panties in the suitcase and fetching some boxers from another drawer. Then she stopped again and wrinkled her nose. "There is runningwater and electricity, right? That is where I draw the line, Haymitch."

He snorted.

And then he was chuckling.

That was his city girl alright…

"There's running water and they got the electricity working." he confirmed. "Sae says it never ran better. Some engineer from Thirteen hooked them up, sounds like."

"Perfect." she declared. "Now, kiss our monsters hello and go fetch boxes before I change my mind."

She wouldn't, though.

Once Effie Trinket had set her mind on something…

"Oh, and, Haymitch…" He stopped on the threshold and turned back to watch her. There was a small smile on her lips. It was a little sad but also mostly fond. "I am not certain it is selfishness. You lost a lot of people and I know just how important family is to you. And, truth be told, I do not want to be apart from you either and I certainly would not be able to do the noble thing and leave my babies behind to go live in Twelve, Katniss and Peeta notwithstanding."

It made him feel slightly better.

She had been candid when she had told him they wouldn't get much sleep though. There was a lot to pack – and buy. They needed to stock up on formula, diapers – she refused to hear about reusable nappies, understandably arguing that he wasn't the one doing the laundry – wipes, baby powder, creams and the thousand things that went hand in hand with taking care of not one but three infants.

Her parents showed up at some point close to midnight, a bit disheveled and very desperate to convince her to stay. Her mother even argued that she could move home with them for a while so she didn't have to take care of the babies alone and that she could join him later on with Peeta when Twelve would be safer.

Truth be told, he thought it was the idea of going back to her parents that cemented the project of leaving in her mind.

It truly was a short night though. Between the terrifying amount of packing to do and the babies who woke up and cried every half hour as if they knew they were about to be torn away from their comfortable familiar environment for the second time, they barely managed to grab an hour-long nap before dawn.

Effie was still frantically trying to pack as much stuff as possible when he had to leave for the Training Center, taking a last regretful look at the apartment she would likely sell in the near future.

He hadn't thought it was possible but… He had been happy in there. It was their first real home in many ways.

"I'll see you later?" he asked, a bit uncertainly, when she dropped what she was doing to see him to the door.

"I am never late, darling." she joked, raising on tiptoes to peck his lips. "We will be on that hovercraft, me and the babies, I promise. I am impatient to see Katniss. Tell her."

"Sure." He kissed her again and resisted the urge to go look at his sleeping monsters one last time. He was only leaving them for a short while. Plutarch would pick them up – and the dozen of boxes he probably wasn't expecting – before meeting them on the Training Center's roof.

Katniss, as it turned out, didn't seem to care much that Effie was impatient to see her.

She didn't seem to care much about anything, not even the breakfast Haymitch insisted she ate.

For someone who had been all alone for weeks, she didn't look particularly happy to see him.

She answered with monosyllabic words and did a good enough job of frustrating him that he started wondering why he was even bothering to bring his children to a wild dangerous place for her. Then, of course, she tossed him that look, like she knew exactly what he was thinking, and he remembered.

He loved that idiotic girl.

The moment they stepped in the hovercraft, Effie collided with the girl, hugging her close, drawing her back at arm's length to study her too thin frame only to hug her tight again, spitting too many words and too quickly to properly make sense…

Katniss must have gotten the gist of it though – Effie had missed her terribly, she had made her worry sick so, please, could she never do something like that again, and, oh, how happy she was to see her – because she hugged back after a long embarrassing moment.

When Effie finally released her, after telling her a few well-intended lies about how good she looked, there was a small hesitant ghost of a smile on the girl's lips.

Haymitch nudged her further into the hovercraft to where the seats were, mostly ignoring Plutarch's cheerful greetings and his explanations that he was going to Three because the Secretary of Communication's job was never done. Katniss didn't seem much more impressed than he was but she did manifest some interest in the three brand new baby seats he had never seen before – Plutarch's doing probably. Or, rather, she manifested some interest for the screaming infants inside the new baby seats.

"This is Amy." Effie immediately made the introductions, urging the girl closer. "And here is Caleb. And this is Brody."

She beamed at Katniss waiting for a reaction…

Katniss stared at the babies, cautiously brushing her finger against Amy's little hand, and then looked up at Haymitch. "Is it safe for them in Twelve?"

Effie's smile dimmed.

Haymitch tried not to get annoyed because he was incredibly aware that, no matter what Effie said or the various reasons that made it impossible for him to do the reasonable thing, he was being selfish. All the way down to the core.

But to miss so much of his children's lives…

To abandon them like he had been abandoned…

To be unable to make sure they were safe and sound at all times…

"Safe enough." he dismissed, hoping he wasn't lying. "Ain't like we really had a choice, sweetheart."

The girl flinched and moved away from the babies.

"You have to look after me, don't you? As my mentor? That's why you're all coming back." the girl deduced.

She would have moved away from them all if Effie hadn't wrapped her arms around her again and guided her to a seat.

"We are a team." Effie reminded her firmly. "A family. We stick together. The babies will be right as rain. We will make sure they are. You will help, won't you, dear?"

Katniss opened and closed her mouth a few times without a sound and then silently gave Effie a sharp determined nod.

"My mother's not coming back." The girl said after a while.

"She's helping to start up a hospital in Four… You know why she can't come back." he muttered, handing her the letter her mother had left for her. It was kinder to let her think Aster's decision was about Twelve, he mused, and avoided Effie' s and Plutarch's gazes, she didn't need to know the ugly details. He waited until she had read it, not surprised to see she wasn't surprised, before lifting his eyebrows. "Want to know who else won't be there?"

"No." Katniss replied. "I want to be surprised."

He snorted but didn't comment.

Aside from the babies, they were both mostly quiet for a good portion of the trip. Plutarch and Effie, as proper Capitols were to do, provided most of the polite chatter about the weather. Once the former Gamemaker was gone, Haymitch made sure Katniss ate her sandwich, grumbling and nagging until she took an actual bite like he grumbled and nagged when Caleb didn't want to take his bottle.

Effie didn't say anything but he saw her hide her smile into Brody's hair.

The girl pretended to sleep the rest of the way, which suited him just fine.

"We should warn her about what to expect." Effie whispered, probably not as attuned to their victor's fake-sleeping as he was.

"She's been there before. She knows what to expect." he argued.

Effie pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at him. "You have been snapping at me for hours, Haymitch, and I would thank you to stop. This predicament is not my fault and I am not any more pleased than you are to move to Twelve."

He had been growing tense and grumpy, that was true. He groaned something that could probably be constructed as an apology and hugged Caleb close to his chest like a teddy bear for the last portion of the trip.

On landing, Katniss wasn't entirely happy to be saddled with one of the babies in the wrap thingy but Effie shot her a no-nonsense look. "Caleb is the quietest and the less prone to fussing. The wrap keeps him perfectly secure, you do not even need to hold him. You will be just fine. Make sure he does not see horrors, that is all I am asking you."

She checked and rechecked the baby wrap was on correctly, reminding Katniss for the third time she didn't need to support him like she was doing because the aim of the wrap was to have one's hands free. But the girl seemed panicked enough to be carrying one of them – even in a wrap – that she kept a firm careful hold on his back with both arms anyway.

Haymitch liked it better that way anyway.

"Let's go." he encouraged, gruff, leaving the soldiers Plutarch had commandeered to deal with all their stuff.

The trip to the Village was exactly as terrible as he had feared. Even Effie grew deadly quiet. Katniss clung to the baby and made good progress, better progress than either of them did.

Haymitch was…

The destruction had been obvious and terrible to see on the pictures and the screens but it was worse to witness it in person. The Seam was entirely gone. What hadn't burned had been blown away. And the town…

They had to climb rubbles. Get in and out of deep craters when they were impossible to walk around…

Haymitch kept a firm hold on Effie's arm, afraid she would slip and crush Amy to death. Katniss seemed to be doing alright enough, speaking in low tones to Caleb all the while…

He wasn't sure what she was telling their baby but he trusted it couldn't be bad.

Finally reaching the Village was a relief.

Although Effie made a fuss when the girl headed straight for her house after handing their son back.

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable with us, dear? Haymitch has two spare rooms, we need one for the babies but you can absolutely have the other…" she pleaded.

Katniss was determined to go home though and Haymitch didn't argue the point. He told her he would see her the next day.

Sae met them at his house and fussed over the babies enough that Effie took an instant liking to her.

The house, fortunately, was true to the old woman's description: untouched. Thanks to Hazelle's work before the war, once the dust had been wiped away, it was comfortable enough. He would need to watch the boiler, Sae told him, because Thom said it was making a weird clicking noise, but, mostly, it was like nothing had changed.

Except for the impossible to ignore monsters.

Having Brody in his arms stopped him from freaking out too much. That and the way Effie leaned against his side, never too far, as if she knew exactly where his mind would go if she stopped pestering him for a second.

It was a few hours before the soldiers had carried everything and Effie was satisfied with the space she had created for the babies, Haymitch felt like he was ready to drop asleep by the time there was nothing more to do and he was allowed to flop down on his old bed.

Not as large or comfortable as the one at her place but still better than the one from Thirteen.

"Are you alright?" she asked, lying down next to him. She was fighting to keep her eyelids open. It had been a long twenty-four hours.

Was he alright?

It was exactly the scenario he hadn't wanted, the one he had feared all along, being stuck back in Twelve, being…

She snuggled closer to him, reaching across his chest to check the baby monitor was on, before dropping her arm around his waist.

And he realized that, yes, he was alright.

Because Effie was there.

Because his babies were there.

"Yeah…" he mumbled in her hair, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. "Just, you know… Home sweet home."

"It could be, you know." she hummed.

He snorted. "What?"

"A home." She was drifting off, he heard it in her voice. "It was not what we wanted but that does not mean it has to be horrible. I have you, the babies and Katniss… Peeta will be with us soon… It is more than I thought I would get at the beginning of the war. If it has to be in Twelve… So be it. We can make our home here. Let's make it good, Haymitch…"

He coiled his hand at the back of her nape, feeling his own eyelids drooping. "Okay. Let's make it good, princess…"


Only one chapter left! Were you surprised by hayffie's decision? Do you think Effie should have stayed behind with the babies? Was Haymitch being selfish? Will they manage to make Twelve a good home?

Let me know your thoughts!