'…cess Anna? Princess Anna? Are you awake yet?'
That voice. It wasn't the one she wanted to hear, but she didn't completely dislike it either. A bit rough around the edges. Almost always professional. The slightest of accents from the kingdom he originally hailed from. She could practically hear the syllables tickling the bushy mustache they slipped through.
'I'm…kind of awake.' Anna responded honestly, pushing herself up in her bed but with her eyes still closed.
'Excellent.' A pause, Leonard's tone softening. 'I understand it's your first morning back in Arendelle, but there are…important matters to take care of.'
'Oh…' Anna blinked, attempting to take in her surroundings. For a split second, it felt like any other day, her adventure in the Enchanted Forest nothing more than a dream – or nightmare, she supposed. Yet, the hefty weight in Leonard's words reminded Anna of her new world. A world she now had to personally bring the rest of Arendelle into.
It could have been worse. She knew this. After returning to Harmon, Anna, Kristoff, and Sven had been shocked to discover that the citizens of Arendelle had made their way back to the kingdom. Confused by this, the mayor was quick to inform Anna that the incredible tsunami that had threatened to completely wipe out the kingdom had diminished at the last moment, some claiming adamantly that they heard a horse neighing amidst the final moments of the great wave of water.
This made some sense to Anna. The Water Spirit alluded to forming a form of deal with Elsa. Was helping where it could be part of that? After all, following the freeing of the Enchanted Forest, even the Earth Spirits had appeared, their personal commitment to Anna and Elsa's legacy clear when they showed no signs of antagonism.
It had all happened so fast. Anna recalled she was in a state of shock following the dam's destruction. She heard everyone's words, but once she knew she had fulfilled Elsa's last wish, she had difficulty staying focussed. Kristoff, thankfully, helped her through the painful transition, but she could tell, even now, that she was struggling to take in her present reality with the knowledge that Elsa wouldn't be in it anymore.
As far as she could remember, Yelana and her people were excited to begin migrating throughout the land and enjoy their newfound freedom as soon as possible. Lieutenant Mattias and his fellow soldiers were more than enthusiastic about returning to Arendelle to serve as needed. It was hard not to feel bitter toward just how ecstatic both groups were. They had finally been liberated. It only cost Elsa her life.
Anna knew she was being selfish. But she couldn't help it. She couldn't even pretend to be happy. She managed to smile vaguely, here and there as necessary, during the entire shift from the Enchanted Forest to Arendelle, but when she met with Leonard, Daryun, Gerda, Kai, Jarvo, and a few other important figures from the palace, she knew she had embarrassed herself. She barely got a few words in before sobbing through the rest. The way everyone's faces seemed to break simultaneously once they learned Elsa was no more didn't help matters. Leonard and Daryun were the worst, for they were known to be stoic, hardened individuals. Thus, to watch Leonard, in particular, shatter into tears almost completely, Anna knew she didn't have a prayer for executing her duty with grace in that moment.
'Would you like some assistance getting dressed? It wouldn't take anything to bring a maid here.'
'I think I'm good.' Anna answered, brushing hair out of her face with her fingers.
A maid. Gerda Jr. was another one who got to Anna. Her large brown eyes simply filled with tears, her lips trembling in resistance to bawling outright. When Anna finished what she had to say, the maid had simply vanished, her grandmother revealing that she was taking some sick time.
Gerda was in love with Elsa. Had been for a few years now. This wasn't news to Anna. She and the maid had a strange sort of rivalry. Anna knew she would always have Elsa as her sister, but that didn't stop her from being competitive with the younger girl. Why? Anna wasn't completely sure. Such relations were very much frowned upon, and it's not as though Elsa would ever consider romance in that way. Still, Anna was possessive. She'd be the first to admit it. She loved Elsa more than any other.
Loved her…
Loved…Elsa…?
A sharp pain stabbed Anna's brain, and the jumbled thought felt as though it was archived for consideration another day. It wasn't important. Obviously, Anna loved Elsa. They were family. What more was there to think about?
'Very good, Princess. I'll have breakfast prepared immediately. Once you have nourished yourself, I am sure your people are anxiously waiting for a word from you regarding Elsa's absence.'
Another stabbing pain. This one directly into Anna's heart. She had her doubts that she'd ever get used to the brutal sensation.
'Right…'
'May I?'
Anna almost wanted to say "no", but she knew Leonard's offer to come in and provide some form of comfort was sincere. He was hurting, too. Maybe having a small powwow with him before having to make a fool of herself in front of all of Arendelle wasn't the worst idea.
'Sure.'
The door handle turned, and in came the tall, older man. His eyes were puffy, a seeming permanent redness encircling the alcoves that once housed undeterred intelligence. Elsa meant a lot to Leonard, clearly. Perhaps more than either girl could possibly fathom.
'You didn't shine your head this morning.' Anna tried to lighten the heavy mood, nodding to her attendant's spherically bald cranium.
'Ah. So I didn't.' Leonard rubbed the skin absentmindedly. 'To say I've been out of sorts would be a fair understatement.'
'I bet.' Anna started poking at her bedding, drawing small circles like she sometimes had on Elsa's soft skin. 'Took me a few days to even get on my feet again. Being back in Arendelle…it's like a relapse.'
'I can imagine.' Leonard sat at the end of Anna's bed, his posture perfect, but his expression faltering. 'I want to say that I will be your pillar of strength during this trying time, but I fear my emotions are getting the best of me far more frequently than desired. Your sister was…very special to me. I thought I knew just how special, but evidently, I was wrong.'
When Anna heard poor Leonard's voice get caught in his throat and witnessed his elderly eyes glimmer with tears, her heart broke, and she shuffled up to the man, placing a hand on his shoulder and offering what she could.
'I don't think anyone should expect us to be okay with this kind of news, Leonard.' She decided. 'We'll let Arendelle know what happened. But we'll also tell them why it happened. Elsa gave her life for everyone. She knew what the risks were, but found the answers we needed to save the Enchanted Forest and, in turn, the world. It's sad that Elsa's gone. I know I'll never be the same. But at least we know she didn't pass on in vain. She became almost like a goddess, right? That's something to be proud of.'
Leonard closed his eyes for a moment, gathering himself, clearly.
'I have difficulty wrapping my head around what exactly happened to her, but I suppose I grasp the general meaning behind Elsa's elevation in status and the mortality exchanged for such a thing. Still, there is tragedy in this loss.' Leonard found Anna's eyes. 'Do not push yourself beyond this announcement, Anna. Should you need time, you allow me to give it to you. Between myself, Lord Daryun, Kai, and Gerda, this kingdom can function while you recover emotionally.'
'Oh, like I said, I totally took a few days just to basically cry.' Anna laughed wryly. 'I'm not saying that I'm good or anything, but moving around helps. Having some kind of purpose for the day numbs the feels.'
'Simply numbing the pain is not a long-term solution, I fear.' Leonard offered.
'Hah!' Anna shrugged. 'Pretty sure there is no solution to how I feel, Lenny.' She admitted, a knot in her throat making it difficult to go on. 'I mean, seriously, if I sit on what my heart is telling me to do for too long, you might lose another sister.'
A sober beat, and Anna wanted to say something like "Just kidding!" or "I'd never do that for real!", but she couldn't. Because it wouldn't be true. It was scary to admit, but when a certain regret happened upon Anna in relation to her avoidance of death at the hands of the Rock Giants, she knew she wasn't lying to her attendant.
'Oh, Anna…' Leonard uttered. He leaned in and offered her a hug. Anna, of course, accepted, the warmth of the man not terrible. 'I can arrange for some grief counseling, if you would be willing.'
'I don't know…' Anna squeaked, the composure she had been proud of until this moment crumbling. 'People lose loved ones every day. Feels a bit…I don't know. Arrogant or something?'
Leonard separated from Anna, still holding her shoulders as his tone levelled and normalized slightly (which was almost more comforting than the embrace moments prior, funny enough).
'Anna.' He began with a humoured scowl. 'I believe everyone has a capacity for human connection. Some have more than others, thus, their ability to empathize and connect with another person becomes almost a liability to them on a deep, emotional and personal level.'
'Uh-huh…?' Anna felt like she was following fairly well.
'Your feelings for Elsa, paired with your unrivaled ability to care for others, places you on a special plain of existence I believe few traverse.'
'I'm really not…' Anna lifted her hands to refute the claims, but Leonard cut her off passionately.
'You are. You are, Anna. You are Arendelle's sun. It is as simple as that. You warm the hearts of the masses, and you derived your love from a space of balance knowing Elsa was in your life. Your sisterly bond was unlike anything I've ever witnessed before. Indeed, I would almost call it supernatural. It was…' Leonard winced, grunting in clear discomfort suddenly.
'Leonard?'
'My apologies, Anna.' The man reached for his temple, not quite touching it as he blinked and shook his head. 'Migraines are not to be trifled with. I best visit a physician myself soon.'
Anna laughed nervously, because that's what she did when she didn't know how to react sometimes.
'In any case, never mind me. If you are to step into Elsa's role, you best take care of yourself as well. Shall I arrange for a consultation?'
Anna thought about it. She wasn't sure about the whole talking about her deep feelings with someone else. After all, she had only somewhat recently exposed her crippling depression to Elsa; the person she trusted most. How was she supposed to open up to a complete stranger? Then again, that stranger wasn't the primary source of her emotional fragility, so, that was a start.
'It doesn't hurt to meet with someone, I guess.' Anna nodded slowly, convincing herself it was for the best. 'Like you said, I think it will help get me back on the right track for ruling Arendelle.'
'Paired with the incredible amount of preparation we need to catch you up on, yes, I believe all things in good time.'
'Yeah…' Anna breathed out slowly. While she, as the next in line to the throne, had been steadily learning what she needed to take over for Elsa, should the occasion ever arrive prior to a true heir being born, it was hardly an urgent affair. Elsa could wield magic. She could control nature itself. What danger was she in, exactly? Few, including even the ever-meticulous Leonard himself, could ever believe that she would be lost to anything prematurely. Elsa was invincible. Elsa could do anything. Elsa was…
Anna sniffed, feeling the tears well up in her eyes all over again. Gently, Leonard lifted his index finger to her eyes and ever so calmly wiped the droplets away, his own visage not unlike the young princess's in its despair.
'I miss her so much…' Anna finally whimpered, the mere concept that she'd never see Elsa doing something as simple as entering their room again world shattering. It was the mundane that hit Anna the hardest. The moments many took for granted while they occurred. Eating together. Sleeping beside each other. Knowing they shared a life since Anna's birth. Climbing trees. Riding horses. Feeding birds. Making chocolates. Dancing. Singing. Reading adventure-filled stories. Bringing those same stories to life for the children of Arendelle.
'Oh…' Anna clutched at her chest, her lips twisting in anguish. She pictured Elsa awkwardly telling the story of the Gingerbread Man. She recalled the way her big sister had so selflessly allowed Anna to begin her own business. She clutched onto the memory of Elsa joining her for work so recently, her words of encouragement and praise for the "not so impressive royal sister of Arendelle" lifting Anna into the heavens. Olaf, too. A direct extension of Elsa who had taken on a life all his own. It was too much. It was just too much.
'Anna…' Leonard touched Anna's back, rubbing it tenderly.
'She's gone…' Anna had known it since the Water Spirit told her, but now that she was back in Arendelle, surrounded by the world she and Elsa had built, it was unbearable. Not only that, but a hole in her heart throbbed, as if even with all this pain, she was missing something. Something even more precious.
'S-she's really gone…' Anna trembled.
'Indeed…' Leonard exhaled sharply. 'I will never forget her. Never. She was…very special. And not just because of her powers.'
'How do I go on?' Anna inquired honestly, surprised she was able to ask such a deeply personal question. Perhaps it just went to show how low she had fallen within seconds. Without an answer, Anna just wasn't sure of her future.
'You do so knowing your sister would want nothing else but for you to be happy with the life you have. You live for her, Anna. You find joy because she sacrificed her own time for you to have more of it in the best setting possible.'
It made sense. Logically, it made perfect sense. But without Elsa…
'You're right.' Anna couldn't keep thinking like that. Leonard was absolutely correct. 'I had the same thought back in the Enchanted Forest, but it…you know, it's just harder now.'
'I have no doubt.' Leonard let the topic fade, waiting politely for Anna to calm down as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand a few times.
'Okay. I'll get dressed and then do the thing.'
'The…announcement to your people?'
'Yeah. That.'
'What about breakfast?'
'Uh…hard pass.'
Leonard gasped.
'This is more serious than I thought.' He exclaimed so seriously it made Anna giggle, if a little strangely.
'You think?' Anna said. 'I just don't want to, you know, shower the crowd with any stomach mishaps. I'll eat after.'
Although clearly taken aback by the visual, Leonard nodded solemnly.
'Fair enough. At least have some water, understand?'
'Yep…' Anna sighed.
'Shall we, then, Princess Anna? I will be with you every step of the way. You are not alone.'
'I know. I do.'
'But it's not the same.' Leonard spoke Anna's thoughts almost too well. It made her feel bad. 'And it never will be. However, this life is more precious than ever. You live for two now. Use that, if and when it's needed.'
'Will do.' Anna nodded.
What choice did she have? She bid a brief farewell to Leonard, and opened her closet, a pinch squeezing her heart when she bore witness to all of Elsa's gowns (the ones she didn't conjure, anyway). Anna made her choice swiftly, unable to filter through the memories each dress brought with it. Elsa was so beautiful already she looked good in just about anything. Her pale, smooth skin. Her platinum blonde hair. Her bright, blue eyes. Her full, almost pouty lips. Her slender body. Her perky…
'Whoa…' Anna shook her head, rapidly fluttering her eyelids in disbelief. 'That was…a little weird.'
Anna wasn't exactly a stranger to thinking so highly of Elsa, but to almost fantasize about her older sister in such a way – she was really mentally checked out, wasn't she? How was this speech go? Anna was beginning to really worry.
Anna held a black dress up to the full-length mirror in the room she and Elsa had been sharing for a few years now. It was the same one she had worn during her parents' funeral. There was no need to overflow her and Elsa's closet with more than the singular outfit with such a depressing purpose.
'Really didn't think I'd need to use you again for another family member so soon…' Anna mumbled, recalling with uncanny clarity the way she had leaned her back against Elsa's door shortly after their parents had been lost to the Dark Sea. She had always veiled her need to be with Elsa by asking if she'd like to "build a snowman". But that time – that instance – in a rare display of transparent desire, Anna had practically begged Elsa to come out. She knew Elsa had locked herself in her room, leaving Anna to handle too many uncomfortable questions about how the kingdom would move forward without the late king and queen. The younger sister was trying to be strong, but it was so difficult. Without Elsa, her last pillar of strength, Anna wasn't sure what she was going to do.
Now, the princess of Arendelle was truly alone, without even a glimmer of hope. She thought she knew despair then, but this was on another level entirely. Despite Leonard's efforts, there was a hole in her heart that simply couldn't be filled again save temporarily with spectres of a life bygone.
'Oh, yeah. Definitely should get some therapy or something…' Anna told herself. It was a good idea. Her thoughts, when alone, were perpetually spiraling into a scary place.
Once Anna was dressed, she proceeded out of her room and through the castle of Arendelle. To say the tone of her home had shifted considerably would be an understatement. For one so sensitive to the feelings of others, Anna picked up on the anxiety immediately, the small number of staff who decided to come in (regardless of Leonard having offered them a day off considering the trials endured) clearly unsure of what Anna would be announcing within the hour. Currently, only Leonard, Jarvo, Kai, Gerda Sr., Gerda Jr., and…
'Daryun.' Anna thought a detour wasn't the worst offence. Elsa had placed immense trust in Sir Daryun, and the man clearly had deep feelings for her older sister. Upon learning of Elsa's fate, Daryun had also made a rather swift exit from the discussion, and hadn't been seen since. Knowing the man, Anna navigated toward the training grounds outside the southern sector of the castle. It felt like it took longer than usual to make it to her destination, for Anna was keenly aware of just how many eyes were following her as she moved. Custodian staff were full of questions, perhaps assuming the worst when it came to Elsa.
The sad thing was, their nightmare-fueled imaginings were likely not far from the truth…
With fall beginning to approach its second half, there was a notable chill in the air as Anna slipped outside into the training field. The facilities available to soldiers for honing their skills had been expanded greatly since Daryun became Captain of the Guard. Elsa willingly promoted the idea that she not be so heavily relied on when it came to Arendelle's defenses, and therefore, she left the planning and expansion of the area to the infamous battle God himself. As a result, there were various activities for soldiers to participate in to improve whatever parameters they wished to focus on. Honestly, to Anna, it almost seemed like a playground for adults that just liked to fight a bunch. Dummies, obstacle courses, swords, spears, shields, and weights were well organized and clearly sectioned off. Anna imagined what it would be like to run around and try a little bit of everything.
On a few occasions, Anna had joined Elsa during her training sessions with Daryun. She had always admired her older sister, but seeing how hard she worked to better her physical abilities was another level of respect altogether. Not only that, but Elsa looked ridiculously attractive when she…
'Hah…!' Daryun's battle cry startled Anna, her mind echoing with a strange sense of longing as her thought was cut off. 'Hah…! Hya…!'
The young princess of Arendelle shivered subconsciously as she approached the warrior, his shirt discarded and his muscular form glistening despite the day being mostly overcast. He thrust and slashed a spear almost double Anna's height with relative ease, his acrobatic movements as he trained like watching a sort of dance even Anna could appreciate.
Assuming the man to be a little busy at the moment, Anna decided against interrupting, but just as she was turning, his surprisingly temperate voice made her flinch in surprise.
'Princess Anna?'
'Oh! Hey, Daryun. Sorry to disturb the sweat session.'
'Not at all.' Daryun retrieved a towel from his gear, wiping his angular face and pushing some loose strands of black hair away from his thin eyes. 'I…er…somewhat wished to speak with you as well, eventually.'
Anna allowed herself a tiny grin. Socially awkward Daryun. He had trouble voicing his thoughts eloquently to most, but his honesty and curt approach to some scenarios had been valued by Elsa. Now that Arendelle didn't have a queen that could literally wipe out an army with a flick of her wrist, Anna had a feeling she'd be relying on Daryun a little more, going forward.
'Well, that works.' Anna nodded.
'I haven't missed your speech, have I?'
'No. No. I mean, I probably shouldn't be taking a detour, but I'm pretty good at procrastinating. Plus, I wanted to see how you were holding up.'
Daryun's mouth tightened, his entire demeanor seeming to tense up.
'Not well. I will…miss the time I got to spent with Queen Elsa in the mornings. These sessions will never be the same. Training with a heavy heart may prove too much for even I.' Daryun caught himself, focussing on Anna abruptly. 'But my woes pale in comparison to your own, I'm sure. Forgive me, Princess.'
'There's nothing to forgive, Daryun.' Anna choked back the urge to tear up again. 'Out of all the suitors, I think you fell for Elsa the hardest, so, I get it.'
'Ahem…' Daryun blushed, and it was almost comedic seeing such an intimidating man flounder, if however subtly. 'S-she was charming, of that there is no doubt.'
'You're telling me. Big shoes to fill…'
Daryun shook his head.
'I have the utmost confidence you can more than succeed. I am not going anywhere, and Sir Leonard is a valuable ally.'
'Don't I know it.'
'But the wound to my heart has proven trying.' Daryun confessed further. 'I waited for her this morning. I thought perhaps the news presented was nothing more than a nightmare. When she didn't arrive to train with me…I struggled with any form of composure.'
'Yeah. The little things seem to hit the hardest…' Anna clutched at her heart. Daryun appeared to not know what to do or say, his arms shifting at his sides as he struggled. There was a heavy pause in the conversation, the normally fairly stoic man surely at the end of his social capacity.
'Indeed.' Daryun's eyes widened, and he looked down suddenly. 'My apologies, Princess.' He began, retrieving his white shirt and stretching it over his form.
'No worries.' Anna giggled. 'Seeing a big muscle boy first thing after waking up isn't the worst thing that can happen to a girl.'
This made Daryun redden again, but he recovered a little more quickly this time.
'Shall I escort you outside, Princess? I trust my men, but should an unlikely riot erupt due to the terrible news, I should be present. I intended to be there, but time must have gotten away from me.'
'It's up to you. Like you said, it should be fine. I think people will just be really, really sad.'
'Hm.' Daryun agreed with a grunt. 'What do you plan on doing following the announcement?'
Anna thought about giving Daryun an answer worthy of a soon-to-be queen. She considered replying with the elegance and grace Elsa would have been capable of. She wanted to prove her worth to this capable man who likely had more than warranted doubts in relation to her ascension. It would have been the best option, really. In fact, such a handling of the question posed to her was the perfect opportunity to practise the persona she would have to bear more often than not now – especially without Elsa to truly relax around going forward.
And yet, despite all these reasons to answer otherwise, Anna could only mask her agony with the cursed smile she had prepped for every instance that demanded it when Elsa had locked herself in her room and answer with brutal honesty.
'Oh, probably cry uncontrollably and make a fool of myself.'
'Princess…' Daryun's expression broke, and just as it seemed he would finally do away with any reservations and comfort Anna in some way physically, her name was called, and she felt her heart turn in an uncanny way.
'Anna?' Kristoff had entered the field, his outfit a little fancier than usual with a vest and everything. He approached Anna, placing a hand on her shoulder for support. 'Leonard asked me to check in on you. The people outside are getting a bit antsy.'
Daryun nodded to the exit.
'They deserve to know, Princess.' Daryun remarked with clear regret.
'I know…' Anna submitted.
This was it. Her first step into becoming the queen of Arendelle. There was no going back. No returning to the simpler, more joyful times of recent years. Elsa was gone, and the world of Arendelle was about to change forever once more.
