Warning: Contains violence.


Chapter Sixty-Two: Distractions- Part Two

(April 15th, 2018, Sunday Morning)

Despite needing to breathe deeply, Natsu nearly held his breath most of their walk. He kept his eyes peeled as he looked all around them. Usually he didn't have to be that cautious while off base, but now he knew there was danger right behind him.

It stole most of his focus.

'All it takes is one mistake.'

He couldn't rely on his sense of hearing. It didn't matter how sharp his ears were, the only sound he heard was that damn ringing.

He would have little time to react if a sprinter came out of nowhere. Thinking about how badly that could end up had Natsu gripping the handle of his knife so hard his hand hurt.

Just when he thought things couldn't get worse, Lucy started humming a song to herself. His jaw fell as he looked at her, causing the girl to turn his way.

"Yes?"

Natsu had no response. He couldn't comprehend why she looked so calm when they had feral creatures at their heels, wanting to take a bite out of them. Of course, it would be difficult considering their teeth had been removed, but that wasn't the point.

Just one drop of blood was all it took to get infected.

'Just one mistake.'

Lucy must have gotten bored, turning ahead as she continued humming a tune. The way her arms casually swayed by her side showed she didn't carry the same tension Natsu had, his shoulders aching from being stiff.

'At least she put on some gloves...'

Natsu surveyed the area before moving a step away from Lucy. He needed to stay alert and ready to attack, and if something came at them with little warning, he didn't want her to get hurt with his quick reaction.

"Sleep well?" came Lucy's voice, Natsu's head snapping towards her so fast he nearly got whiplash.

"What?" he hissed, trying to keep his volume down.

She didn't take the hint, her voice the same as she repeated her question. "I said, did you sleep well?"

Natsu blinked, unable to respond. No answer felt right anyway. Admitting he had awful sleep because she wasn't there felt like a loss, and carrying on a conversation felt so unsafe he didn't even consider it, especially with all the noise they were already making.

Natsu took a shaky breath before looking around them again, but despite seeing no danger from their sides or in front of them, he couldn't calm his racing heart.

He slipped a finger into the collar of his shirt to tug at it, needing some air after feeling himself sweat.

"Are you okay?" Lucy asked, cocking her head. "You look a little nervous."

Natsu immediately shook his head, prompting her to give the worst suggestion.

"How about you go sit in the trailers for a bit?"

Natsu stifled a laugh. It didn't matter either way, considering it would have lacked any humor. The thought of leaving Lucy alone wasn't an option. No, he would stay by her side and make sure nothing bad happened to them.

"I'm fine," he muttered, barely hearing his voice over his roaring thoughts.

If she responded, he didn't notice, eyes flitting back and forth.

He would protect her. 'No matter what.'

Natsu furrowed his brows as his vision dropped to the ground, wondering why that thought crossed his mind. Sure, he wanted Lucy safe, but to protect her no matter what? What if it put his own life in danger?

Natsu's stomach gave a violent jerk when he wondered what would happen if he had to make a choice. He didn't want to die, but the thought of choosing himself over Lucy felt...

'Wrong.'

Natsu swallowed thickly before forcing his head up. He couldn't afford any distractions. He looked around them, making sure once again there were no threats. He couldn't afford to get stuck in his head, so he did his best not to think and just listen and look.

It helped that he didn't want to revisit his last thoughts, confused as to why he would put Lucy's life so high on his priority list.

Yes, protecting her was one thing, keeping her safe just felt like what he was supposed to do, but if his own life was in danger too wouldn't the logical decision be to save himself?

Would he be able to leave her if something happened?

Natsu grit his teeth, berating himself because he didn't want to think about it. However, his mind didn't seem to care, breaking through every few minutes, allowing the tension in his body to build.

'Would I do the same with my other friends? Well, yeah, I guess... Right? Would I even have to though? Levy, Erza, and Jellal are always on base. Cana has a somewhat safe job with an armed guard watching over her and the others. Gray can handle himself, but Lucy...'

Natsu's nose scrunched as his brows darted in, wondering what he would actually do if one of his friends was in so much danger that it would put his life at risk if he tried saving them. He had never been in that particular situation before. Sure, there had been some close calls, but never once had he thought he might actually die trying to help his friends.

'Why am I even thinking about this?!'

The best thing for him to do was stay alert and ready, that way there were no close calls. He wouldn't have to make any rash decisions if he had the upper hand.

Natsu jerked when he heard a voice come from behind him, half-expecting to see a zombie loose when he turned around, even if that made no sense. The undead didn't talk, merely expelling growls and snarls and the occasional hiss, though he suspected that was more air escaping than anything.

Instead of a rotting animated corpse coming up to them, it was another runner, his eyes on Lucy. "My turn."

Natsu watched, doing his best to keep an even pace as Lucy removed her belt of bells to hand to the other runner. She thanked him, not bothering to look around at her surroundings before heading towards the chariot.

Natsu's heart dropped when she got close, but she twisted her body at the last second to avoid the undead. He nearly stumbled, stunned he had just watched her get that close to death and wasn't able to react.

That only tripled his fear, wondering if he would even be able to protect her if it came down to it. Would he save her, or would he choke?

"Gonna join her?"

Natsu nearly gasped, forgetting about the other runner despite hearing those incessant bells again. With a forced nod, Natsu moved to the back, putting a great deal of space between him and the chariot so there were no mishaps. He put his knife away, though he did take another look around before doing so.

He saw Lucy was already settled in the second trailer with space beside her. Natsu made a split-second decision to take the spot next to her, even if he knew it wasn't wise.

Part of him thought she was still upset about yesterday, but she had made some attempts to talk to him, so that had to be a good sign, right? She couldn't have picked a worse time to try to conversate with him moments ago, when he needed to stay alert and not chat like there was nothing wrong with what they were leading.

Natsu wasn't particularly worried about Lucy being bothered by his presence, because as soon as he sat in that moving vehicle he hunched over, shaking as the sickness kicked in.

He had mentioned a time or two about his motion sickness to Lucy before, but never had she really seen it.

Getting a little queasy from spinning in Erza's desk chair was one thing, but a real mode of transportation? It had Natsu sweating and panting, doing everything in his power to settle his stomach.

He wasn't sure which was worse. Walking in front of the zombie chariot or being in the trailer. Either way, he wasn't able to stay as alert as he wanted.

Then again, at least he was able to attempt to protect Lucy and himself when he was on solid ground. If a zombie came at him now, he would be an easy target, unable to even lift his head without the whole world feeling like it was spinning.

"Whoa, you don't look so good," came Lucy's voice, no bite to her tone.

Even through the thick haze of sickness, Natsu found his chest warming at her gentle tone. He could hear her concern, and while he didn't want her pity, part of him celebrated she cared.

'Of course she fucking cares, you moron. We had a fight, but we're still friends."

As much as Natsu wanted to reply, he couldn't risk it. There was a good chance more than words would come out of his mouth, and he didn't want her seeing him puke, even if he had easy access to the street from where he sat.

"I don't know," Lucy said from beside him, but he had the feeling she wasn't talking to him.

He was proven right when someone else answered her, Natsu having a hard time pinpointing the voice. "Yeah, he gets like that. He's fine."

"He doesn't look fine. He looks sick."

"Well, yeah, but he'll be good when we stop. Don't worry."

Lucy made a sound of frustration, but Natsu didn't bother looking at her. He kept his head down, not wanting her to see his struggle.

He stayed like that for the duration of the trip, doing his best to keep from puking. That would surely wear him out, and he needed his energy to protect Lucy.

Natsu wasn't sure how far they traveled before the wretched thing stopped. He didn't hesitate to get out of the trailer, his skin clammy as he wiped at his face. Before he had a chance to feel an ounce of pride for not throwing up during the trip, he caught a glimpse of Lucy stepping towards him, his attention switching to her.

"I never knew it was that bad," she said, her hand lifting before prompting putting it back by her side. "Will you be okay?"

Natsu would nod, but his head still felt dizzy, some remnants of his sickness lingering despite being on solid ground. "Yeah," he muttered, hand rubbing over his upset stomach.

Lucy looked like she wanted to say more, but her name was called, Natsu's teeth clenching when he recognized the voice as Hibiki's. "Come on," she whispered, nodding towards the front of the chariot.

Natsu's sickness was long forgotten as he straightened, putting all his focus into his surroundings even when his stomach protested the sudden movement. He didn't recognize the neighborhood, not that he spent time as a kid venturing through the city.

He wondered how far they were from the main part of town, with all the shopping districts and grocery stores. That would be the best place to raid for supplies, but he also knew that would be the most dangerous.

The busier a place used to be, the more zombies they would find.

Natsu followed Lucy while his eyes flitted back and forth, his nerves settling when they entered the group of other runners. It didn't last long, finding the sound of growls in the background from the parked chariot disturbing.

However, he could ease up a bit, feeling safer surrounded by other people. Living breathing humans who could also spot potential danger coming their way.

Despite feeling better, he ended up frowning.

'Lucy probably feels safe off base because she's around all the other runners, but how is she when it's just her? Has she ever even been by herself with zombies nearby? Is she more alert when she doesn't have anyone else around to watch her back? Does she watch other people's backs too? Or is she stuck in her head like me right now?'

With that final thought, Natsu looked for Rogue, finding him talking to runners and pointing at houses. A few others hauled some buckets of water towards the center of the street in the neighborhood, no doubt in case someone got blood on their skin and needed to wash it off.

Natsu jolted when Lucy cocked her hip towards him, her machete jutting out in the process. "Careful with that thing," Natsu scolded, wondering if her weapon was maintained or if the blade was dull. He was curious, but he didn't want to find out by an accidental cut to his pants.

Lucy narrowed her eyes, taking a step away from him as she said, "I know how to handle it."

Natsu's eyes rounded at her retreat, wanting her close. He suppressed an irritated groan, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked back at Rogue. "Doesn't look like it," he muttered under his breath, thankful Lucy didn't hear him because his own words had his shoulders sagging.

Once again, those conflicting thoughts made their presence known.

Hadn't he wanted her to be strong and able to hold her own? He had watched her go from a girl who couldn't string a sentence together to a confident person who apparently had some zombie kills of her own. Natsu was skeptical about that, but he hadn't been around to dispute the claim.

'Why the hell did we have to be gone so long? What the hell did I miss?'

Natsu swallowed, troubled over his thoughts. He wanted to be happy Lucy was outgoing enough to volunteer for stuff, but he hated the idea of her putting herself in harm's way, especially when she was doing it on purpose.

What would a person do if a zombie came up while they were leading the chariot. Sure, they could probably handle that one zombie, but then while they were dealing with it, that would have given the chariot time to get closer, thus increasing the risk.

Even with their hands removed, what if they bled through the tape and scraped a survivor's skin and infected them?

It was a leap, but it wasn't impossible.

He couldn't allow himself a chance to celebrate how far Lucy said she had come, because all he could think about was the unnecessary dangers.

While Rogue directed his people, Natsu's eyes continued to roam, landing on a row of shopping carts on the side of the street. When a survivor was given a house, they would go over and grab a cart before pushing it towards their house.

Natsu blinked, his confusion not resting until he looked over at Lucy, who was engaged in a conversation with Hibiki. He took a deep breath before tearing his eyes away, not understanding the burning sensation in his chest.

Why did it matter if she was talking to Hibiki? Cana made a good point last night. He had lots of friends he was close to and it didn't make his other friendships less valid, so why did it bother him that Lucy was making more friends?

'Maybe... I just got so used to her relying on me for everything...'

She got to Fairy Tail through him. She gained his friends in the process, and he was with her every step of the way through her recovery—

'Except the past two months of it.'

It seemed like she made the most progress when he was gone, and for some reason, that had him unnerved. He spent so much time encouraging her to come out of her shell, but she did better when he wasn't around?

Had he been holding her back? Or did he help her enough that she was able to not rely on him anymore, and it was just a coincidence he left for Hargeon around that time.

Would she still be where she was now had he never left?

'No,' Natsu thought, shoulders sagging. 'Because I woulda shut her down back then too if she told me she wanted to go off base. And... And she knew that.'

His chest ached, his stomach twisting at how conflicted Lucy must have felt. He had been her closest friend, and he had told her repeatedly how happy he was she worked on base and was safe, all while she secretly wanted to be a runner.

'No wonder she never told me,' he thought, looking over at Lucy. He wanted her safe, but he didn't provide her a safe environment to express her wants. He never thought she wanted to be a runner, and she must have known it wouldn't end well if she brought it up.

An apology started surfacing, but before he could open his mouth, Hibiki and Lucy were walking forward.

That caused Natsu to panic, eyes wide as he glanced over at their destination before letting out a sigh. They were just getting closer to Rogue, his heart steadying its pace as he followed them, waiting to see what his assignment would be.

"Hibiki, you take that house with the flag out front." Rogue looked at Lucy before Natsu approached, catching the man's attention. "Natsu, I'll have you go to the house past that. With the green mailbox."

Natsu nodded, readying himself for his task. He took a few steps that way, expecting to hear Lucy behind him, but he stopped when Rogue added, "Lucy, you take the opposite house, with the car in the lawn."

"Wait," Natsu mumbled as he turned, seeing Lucy trying to leave. "What? No, Lucy's staying with me."

Rogue looked his way, blinking before shaking his head. "Oh, Lucy's on houses by herself."

Once again, the way he said it suggested Natsu should be proud of her accomplishments, but he put his foot down. "No way. I'm not letting her out of my sights."

That had Rogue jolting before narrowing his eyes. "Natsu—"

He shook his head, refusing to let up. "No."

Rogue and Natsu had a staring contest for a solid twenty seconds before Rogue looked away. "I really must insist you stay in different houses."

"Not a chance," Natsu said, staying adamant. He would raise his volume, but he knew they had to keep their sounds to a minimum so they didn't attract any zombies that may have roamed in the area. "I'm not leaving her alone."

Rogue let out a sigh before looking at Lucy. "It's your call."

That only agitated Natsu. Why was Rogue dismissing him but would listen to Lucy's opinion on it? Besides, it didn't matter if two people cleaned out one house. With the extra help they could finish sooner and start on another house afterwards.

Before Natsu could bring that point up, Lucy shrugged. "Whatever, I don't care."

Lucy started walking just as Rogue muttered under his breath, "This is why I hate working with couples."

Before Natsu could respond, Lucy whirled around, her eyes narrowed as she said, "We are not together."

Natsu didn't understand the hurt he felt at her words. What she said was true, but the way she said it sounded like she took offense at what Rogue said. He didn't get a chance to look further into the pang felt in his chest, noticing Lucy heading to the remaining shopping carts.

She looked over a few before grabbing one. Natsu stayed close, but Lucy didn't acknowledge him when he got by her side. Instead, she kept her eyes on the house assigned to her.

Natsu took a mental note of the way Lucy didn't look around as they walked to the house, the girl more focused on the crashed car in the yard than their surroundings.

"I wonder what happened," she said, staring at the car. She opened the driver's side door since the window was busted out, no alarm going off because the battery had to be dead by then. "Maybe a zombie jumped out at them in the road?"

Natsu didn't know if he was supposed to answer her. While he usually loved making scenarios in his head, he couldn't help but notice the differences between Lucy and him and how they conducted themselves off base.

If he were inspecting a car for supplies, he could look up at least every thirty seconds or so to make sure nothing was approaching, but in the five minutes it took to look through the car for possible supplies, Lucy didn't look around once.

It made things worse when they went inside, Natsu hoping she would at least make sure the place was truly clear, only to have his stomach jerk when she strolled into the house like she owned the place.

"Lucy, stop," he hissed, following after her.

She turned around, raising a brow as she asked, "What?"

"You need to be more cautious. We have to make sure nothing's inside before we just go barging in," he urged, wishing they had taken the time to look through the windows first, but it was too late. He moved in front of her, holding out an arm in a protective stance, but that only seemed to annoy Lucy.

"Why would anything be in here?" she asked, hand on her hip. "The door's marked. The clearers already came through here?"

"There could still be something inside," Natsu mumbled, trying to hear the rest of the house, but Lucy's voice filled his ears instead.

"Like what? A rat?"

"No," Natsu started, turning back towards her. "A zombie could be in here."

Lucy shook her head. "That makes no sense. The door is clearly marked. It's safe."

It was Natsu's turn to shake his head. "You can't go just off that. What if a survivor found this place after the clearers left? Huh? They might've come inside to stay, or maybe they had a zombie chasin' them and trapped 'em in here?"

Lucy didn't look convinced, raising a brow.

With a huff, Natsu added, "Or what if they tried trapping a zombie in here and ended up getting bit? Then there would be two undead fucks in here."

Lucy's eyes widened a bit, causing Natsu's chest to lighten. He thought he was finally getting through to her and she would see she needed to be more careful, but instead she only stifled a laugh.

"Maybe you should be writing stories."

Natsu's shoulders fell, his head tilting a bit. "What?'

"You have quite the imagination," Lucy said, finally letting a small chuckle out.

He wasn't sure if she meant it as a compliment or a sarcastic remark. Either way, he brushed it off. "Just, wait here while I check it out," he urged, but Lucy was already moving.

"No need," she said, hand balling into a fist before she beat on the nearest wall, causing Natsu's whole body to tense. "Anyone in here?!" she called, eyes fixed on Natsu's in some sort of challenge as she struck the wall three times.

He ended up shooting her a glare as he asked in a harsh whisper, "What the hell?"

Lucy shrugged, not looking concerned. "I'd say it's safe. I can't hear anything."

She walked past him, pausing a moment to add, "Aside from your racing heart."

Natsu's jaw went slack as she kept walking, his hand lifting to press against his chest. Sure enough, his heart was beating out of control, but he doubted Lucy could hear it. He took a few calming breaths, hoping they weren't in any danger.

He knew he was being overly cautious, but he couldn't help it. Normally when he was a runner he would still check to make sure a house didn't have any threats before lowering his guard, and that was without Lucy.

Her life was at stake, so he wouldn't risk it.

Despite Lucy being sure they were safe, Natsu checked every room, satisfied there were no undead when he ended his search in the kitchen. It wasn't hard to find Lucy, Natsu hearing her shuffle through the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets.

He entered the area, furrowing his brows when he noticed a window open. While he tore down curtains on occasion to allow more light to shine through, he didn't make it a habit to open the windows.

Natsu went over to it, a frown etched on his face as he asked, "Why's this open?"

"Are you kidding me?" Lucy asked, her tone aggravated.

He shot her a look, prepared for another tiff. However, one glance at her had his eyes rounding, wondering what the heck she was doing.

Lucy waved her arms in the air, frustration clear on her face. "There's gnats everywhere!"

Natsu blinked before refocusing his eyes, finally seeing a few flying pests in the air. Realization struck, understanding her choice. "Oh. That sucks."

Lucy nodded. "Yeah." Her voice was less sharp than before, her arms dropping as she sighed. "There were way more, but I threw away the rotting vegetables outside."

"Tomatoes or potatoes."

"What?"

Natsu nodded towards the window. "Usually it's one of those that attracts them."

Lucy's mouth parted, looking surprised. "Potatoes." She hesitated before gesturing towards the kitchen island that divided them. "There was a cutting board and knife out, so I think they were making fries... Maybe mashed potatoes."

"Was there a pot of water on the stove?" Natsu asked, stealing a peek outside to make sure the open window wouldn't cause a hazard. He saw it would be difficult for a human to climb up, let alone a zombie.

From what he had seen, they weren't the best at climbing.

"No?" After a pause, Lucy said, "Ah, I get it. If there was a pot of water it would probably be mashed potatoes. I guess fries was it."

"Or diced baked potato bites." Despite his tension, Natsu found himself smiling, thinking about the times Igneel made that for dinner. His dad wasn't the greatest cook, but he had a few signature dishes that had Natsu's stomach grumbling.

"Regardless," Lucy started, opening a drawer before scooping up the utensils, "it was potatoes that attracted them."

After a moment, she added, "And tomatoes aren't a vegetable. They're technically a fruit."

"Agree to disagree," Natsu said, not wanting to get into a debate like that. "Besides, I'm pretty sure we can rewrite the books. Who's gonna stop us?"

When he looked up at Lucy, he saw the end of a smile before she pressed her lips into a tight line. She nodded, getting back to work.

He knew he should have done the same, but something urged him to keep talking. Maybe it was the awkward silence that had filled the air, or maybe it was the distance he felt between them after their fight yesterday.

He wanted to hear her, so he pushed forward.

"One time we found a house completely burned down," Natsu said, catching Lucy's attention.

"Oh yeah?"

Natsu nodded as he grabbed a trash bag, deciding he could fill it up as he talked. "We think someone was in the middle of cooking, but we can't be sure. I uh, was gonna actually study stuff like that. How to find out the source of a fire and stuff..."

Lucy looked up at him, causing his body to feel light once more. "Right, I forgot you wanted to be a firefighter." After a few seconds, she added, "Sorry."

He shrugged, not wanting to dwell on the negatives. "It's fine. In some fucked up way, the job isn't really needed anymore since there's not as many fires."

With a heavy sigh, Natsu tried looking on the bright side, only to come up short.

Luckily Lucy didn't let that silence last long, saying, "If it makes you feel better, I wanted to be a famous author..."

"You can still be famous," Natsu said, perking up. "You finish your book and I'll help ya make copies. We'll give it to everyone at Fairy Tail."

That had Lucy snorting, a small smile surfacing on her face. "We'll get hand cramps if we do that."

Natsu shrugged, wanting to keep the lighthearted atmosphere. "Eh, we'll be fine. Besides, when we get electricity we can hook up a copy machine."

Lucy's smile grew, a little light shining in her eyes before her shoulders fell. "I don't know if I'll finish it, or if it'll even be good."

Natsu opened his mouth to give her some encouraging words, but Lucy cut him off by saying, "I can handle the kitchen. You should get another room."

He didn't bother hiding his distaste for that idea, frowning as he lowered his bag of food. "Oh." He could take a hint, reluctant to leave, but satisfied Lucy was relatively safe for the time being.

"If um, you just put the bags by the door I'll bring 'em out to the trailers."

"I can handle it. We use shopping carts to make it easier, so we don't use all our energy hauling stuff."

Natsu tipped his head back. 'That makes sense. I was wondering what they were for.'

Despite her assurance, Natsu said, "I'd feel better if I did it. Please?"

He thought Lucy might protest, but she ended up shrugging. "Alright, fair enough."

As Natsu turned away, she added quietly, "That's what a real compromise looks like."

His eye twitched, but he didn't comment on it. Truthfully, he deserved that after his poor attempt at a compromise last night. He should have known better, but unlike Lucy with her previous chapters in her story, he couldn't reedit the past.

Natsu headed for the bathroom, clearing it of essentials after turning on his headlamp since no windows reached the room. He kept himself busy, trying not to worry about Lucy but he couldn't help it.

The only thing keeping him calm was hearing the soft rustling from the other room, letting him know she was fine. He continued with his job, emptying the bathroom before moving on to another room before he needed to retrieve more bags.

Natsu dropped his full bag by the front door, seeing Lucy had already filled two. A soft smile found its way onto his face when he saw she was cooperating with him on his 'compromise', not venturing outside herself.

She was safer indoors.

Natsu went back to the kitchen just in time to see Lucy dropping a wrapper on the island. He was about to ask where she put the box of trash bags, but stopped when he saw her lift a sucker to her mouth.

Lucy looked over, eyes rounding as if she had been caught doing something wrong before clearing her throat. "Do you want one?" she asked, free hand resting on a bag of assorted candy.

Natsu shook his head, muttering, "No, thanks. Just looking for more bags?"

"Oh, right here," she said, disappearing for a moment behind the island before setting the box on the counter, sliding it his way.

Natsu caught it, giving her a nod as he started tugging to loosen a bag. His eyes fell on Lucy in that moment, watching as she brought the sucker back to her mouth as her lips parted,

Lucy's tongue came out first, touching the bottom of the sucker before guiding it into her mouth. She let go of the stick after that, moving to hold open a bag as she put the rest of the candy inside.

After the stick moved a bit in her mouth, Lucy delicately grabbed it, pulling the sucker out of her mouth with a pop before swallowing. The sounds she made had Natsu frozen in place, brows furrowing as he kept his eyes trained on her mouth. The center of her bottom lip was shiny from removing the sucker, but soon the rest of her lips were the same when she pushed the sucker back in her mouth, humming at the flavor.

Lucy turned so he could only see her side, the woman's eyes roaming the cabinets as she fiddled with the stick of her treat. She twirled it around in her mouth before pulling it out, Natsu's stomach flipping when she swallowed again.

As Lucy put the dessert in her mouth again, she paused, brows knitted together as she turned to give Natsu a questioning look. "What?" she asked, holding the sucker inches from her mouth.

"N-nothing!" Natsu looked away quickly, only now realizing his breathing had grown heavier after watching her. He did his best to conceal the flush taking over his face, walking out of the kitchen with way too many bags in his hands. "You should just, probably be more focused," he said before leaving, wanting to smack himself in the face.

What a load of bullshit considering he just spaced out while watching her eat candy? What the hell was wrong with him?

"Whatever," Lucy said, not bothering to hide the annoyance in her tone.

Once again, Natsu knew he deserved that one. He tried swallowing, only to realize his mouth was insanely dry. There was no way he was going back to the kitchen to find something to drink, not until the heat on his face went away.

'Come on, Natsu. Get your head in the game.'

He took a few deep breaths, but even after returning to a room to pack up, he couldn't stop picturing Lucy with that sucker in his head. Why had something so simple been so distracting? He had seen her eat plenty of times before!

'What the hell is wrong with me?' He was unfocused, and he needed to straighten himself out or else he was going to do something stupid.

His guard wasn't as high as it had been before. They were relatively safe in the house, Natsu allowing himself a heavy sigh before nodding to himself, ready to put everything he had into his work.

Anything was better than thinking about how shiny Lucy's lips got, or how delicate they looked when they were wrapped around that sweet treat, or the wet sounds she made when sucking on it, or—

Natsu smacked himself on the face. Not hard enough to leave a mark, but enough to turn his attention on the pain.

"Seriously," he grumbled, now more mad than confused. "Get a hold of yourself."

Thirty minutes passed before Natsu felt comfortable going to the kitchen again, noticing Lucy had finished up. He looked at the door, finding more bags than before. Deciding it was time to start bringing them to the trailers, Natsu opened the door, carefully setting each on the porch before closing up.

He looked around, satisfied nothing would ambush him. A few other runners were outside, all pushing shopping carts towards or away from the trailers. His eyes lingered on the chariot, seeing the zombies riled up from the people around them, but they didn't budge from their spots due to the bricks around the wheels acting as brakes.

He could see why Erza mentioned putting boards between the rows, the zombies looking close to getting tangled up in each other. If that happened, the survivor that had to untangle them would be tiptoeing the line between life and death.

It seemed easier to kill all the zombies and start over than to go through the trouble.

Still, as he loaded the shopping cart, he had to admit it was an alternative to vehicles.

He wasn't pleased to see his imagination brought to life, still unsettled as he prepared himself to get near it, taking a deep breath as he grabbed the handle of the shopping cart.

Before he started pushing, Natsu frowned, his eyes falling to the pink letters painted on the cart. Lucy's name appeared over the logo of whatever store they took the cart from, along with a little star and heart. He furrowed his brows, wondering if that meant he was handling her personal shopping cart.

Did the other runners do the same thing?

He moved to the trailer, stealing a peek at another runner's handle as they unloaded. To his surprise, he didn't see anything painted on their handle. That had to mean Lucy acted on her own?

When he got back to the house, he sought her out, asking her about it as soon as he found her in the other bedroom.

"Oh, that?" Lucy asked, stuffing the contents from a dresser drawer into a suitcase. "I used some nail polish. It's cute, huh?"

Natsu didn't think he could frown more, a wrinkle forming on his forehead as he asked, "You did that instead of working?"

Lucy shook her head, casting him a quick glance as she answered, "During my lunch break, maybe a week or so ago."

"You... did that instead of eating with everyone?"

Lucy's brow arched as she cast him another look. "Yeah?"

"You should've been with everyone else in the circle."

"I had already snacked before, so it's fine that I skipped lunch."

Natsu shook his head using his hands to show a circle. "That's not what I meant. The point of eating as a group is so you can watch other people's backs while they watch yours."

Lucy blinked before cocking her head. "I was close by, so it's fine."

Natsu grit his teeth, knowing he was on thin ice, but he couldn't stop himself. He needed her to get it. "Maybe, but next time you might not be."

Lucy stood to her full height, narrowing her eyes from across the room. "Fine. I won't paint outside again. Happy?!"

Natsu jolted, realizing he had pushed her too far. He didn't want to get on her nerves, but she had to take being a runner seriously. Her telling him yesterday that she was safe had him concerned, then seeing her conduct herself off base with a lack of alertness had him worried.

"I... I know you think—"

Lucy raised a hand, cutting him off. "Let me stop you right there. Don't put words into my mouth or thoughts in my head. Don't act like you know what I think, because I doubt it."

Natsu held in a grimace, wanting to say he had a pretty good idea what she was thinking at that moment. "Alright... I'm probably coming off as ridiculous, but it seems to me that you... just don't take it very seriously."

Lucy crossed her arms over her chest, looking unconvinced. "Did you just come in here to berate me?"

With a sigh, he said, "I'm just worried you're gonna put yourself in danger if you're not more careful."

"Natsu," she started, pausing as her head fell. She stayed quiet for a while, one hand coming up to grasp her other arm. Her lips twisted a bit, finally speaking after sucking in a shaky breath. "I've already been in dangerous situations before." When his eyes widened, her voice softened. "I... was held captive and... and t-tortured."

With every word, her voice grew quiet, and with every word, Natsu's heart sunk further.

"I know danger, and this," she said, holding her forearms out with her palms facing upwards, "isn't it. I can handle this much."

Before he could respond, she added, "I wish you'd give me more credit."

That had Natsu falling silent, frowning to himself because it was true. He wasn't giving her much credit, but it was difficult seeing past his fears. Sure, she had been in danger with Ivan, so she didn't see being a runner as that dangerous, but it was. He had seen people die off base, mostly as a clearer, but runners weren't always lucky.

And from how Natsu saw Lucy act off base, he had a feeling luck played a factor in her survival thus far.

Despite wanting to disagree, he had to admit she wasn't all wrong. He didn't know what was going on in her head, and she hadn't been completely reckless, just a little too carefree about the job.

He could also understand why she was getting irritated with him, Lucy going back to crossing her arms over her chest, taking a defensive pose. He couldn't blame her. People got defensive when they felt they were being attacked.

It was how he felt last night, and even though his friends had some good points, it was hard to agree with them when he had seen so much death.

Honestly, it pissed him off that they didn't take his concerns seriously, as if he was crazy for being scared.

He wasn't happy Lucy was a runner, and as much as it tore him up inside, he had to deal with it because it wasn't his decision.

He would just stay by her side and keep her safe.

After getting caught up in his head for a moment, Natsu forgot Lucy's comment. His eyes fell to the bed between them, a pang in his chest as he asked, "Is staying with the others temporary?"

"What?" Lucy asked, tensing when he looked at her.

"Levy and Cana..." Natsu didn't like the raw feeling that overcame him, as if he had lost a protective shield. He parted his lips to ask the question, unsure if he wanted to hear her answer. "Is it temporary?"

Lucy's tension eased a bit, but she didn't lower her arms. "Do you want it to be temporary?"

Natsu's eyes fell, wondering if it was better she was away. That was what he had in mind when first bringing her to Fairy Tail. The only reason she stayed with him in the beginning was because she was too afraid of everyone else. She was clearly more confident now, maybe even a little cocky.

She could probably stay in a room by herself, if there were any available.

Natsu swallowed, knowing in his heart that wasn't what he wanted. Maybe it was selfish, he didn't care. He wanted Lucy near him, and not just because he made some promise to her months ago that he would keep her safe.

She made him smile, made him laugh and brought out the gentle side of him when usually he was rowdy and loud. Lucy was kind and sweet and kept him entertained, whether it was with her story or when they played games together. Just sitting and watching movies on his phone was precious to him now that he thought about it.

Tonight was supposed to be movie night. Would Lucy let him sit by her? Or would she be guarded by Cana and Levy again like she had that morning at breakfast?

Natsu frowned, realizing he had taken so many moments for granted.

Maybe... Maybe he had taken Lucy for granted.

She made his life brighter, but... did he do the same for her?

Was he holding her back now? Did Lucy outgrow him, ready for more friends, more adventures with others who would encourage her instead of telling her she wasn't capable.

Natsu waited too long to answer, causing Lucy's eyes to drop. "Part of me thinks it'd be easier to stay somewhere else," she said, every word feeling like a cut to his heart. He almost pressed his hand against his chest, needing the pain to settle.

"You wouldn't have to deal with your superstition about roommates dying. You can't have another roommate die if I'm not your roommate anymore."

Natsu clenched his teeth as three faces surfaced in his mind.

Warren was the first, the two getting thrown in the same room when there were more survivors than rooms. It had been a terrifying first week, but he had made friends with Warren quickly.

It was a week later that Warren had died, torn apart by a sprinter in front of him while a group was out looking for supplies.

Natsu swallowed before wrapping his arms around his stomach, needing his hands to stop shaking.

Vijeeter had been next, moving in the next day since they had so many survivors, though less than when they started.

Natsu hadn't been as close to him, finding his odd dancing at random moments to be annoying.

Of course, he only felt awful after he died, wishing he could see that stupid dancing one more time. He hadn't witnessed Vijeeter dying, Gray telling him about it that night at dinner. Apparently he had been scratched.

That was all it took, one scratch and he was gone. He hadn't had a chance to turn, someone putting him out of his misery as soon as the lights in his eyes went out.

And then Max, his last roommate to die. That one had hurt more than the others. He lived with him for two months before Max got killed.

All three roommates died off base, with zombies as their cause of death.

Natsu didn't, couldn't let Lucy suffer the same fate.

Her understood her logic, but he still found himself saying, "No..."

"What?"

Natsu shook his head, voice strained as he admitted, "I... like having you as a roommate."

Lucy's eyes widened for a second before softening. She lowered her arms, but made no attempt to leave her spot. "We should probably get back to work," she said, a gentle reminder that they were on Fairy Tail's time.

"Oh, r-right." He ignored the ache in his chest, wishing she had answered the unspoken question. 'Does she want to be my roommate?'

He tried staying indifferent, but even after leaving the room, he couldn't shake the feeling he was still putting more distance between them. It seemed every time he talked to her, he ended up making it worse.

With a sigh and a hand dragging over his face, Natsu moved to another room, grabbing the first scrap of paper he found and a pen before returning to the kitchen.

He needed something to take his mind off his troubled thoughts, and he knew just how to do it.

He jotted down his usual note for Igneel, telling him he could be found at the place he got in a wreck, which was at Fairy Tail. Natsu wanted to smile at the idea of meeting up with his dad again, but he was running out of hope. It wouldn't be long until a year had passed since the last time he saw his dad.

'What's honestly the chances of us finding each other?'

With a downward glance at the table, Natsu found one small comfort. 'At least Igneel isn't like Gildarts. He wouldn't start a new family somewhere else.'

He couldn't imagine how Cana felt knowing her father just made another family instead of trying to get back to her. Did Cana feel replaced? He wouldn't blame her if she had.

If Igneel was alive, Natsu knew he was doing his best to find him. Maybe Igneel still ventured into the camping grounds, trying to find any clues as to Natsu's whereabouts.

'Maybe I should go out there and leave notes?'

That plan had problems. Not only was it far away, he had no transportation to get him there. Without good gas his truck was useless, and that journey would take days, probably weeks by foot.

He frowned, looking at the note for a moment longer before leaving.

There wasn't much he could do, but he was still trying, one note at a time.

Natsu entered the last room again, getting to work. He focused on the clothes and bedding, but he found himself coming back to the collectables on a bookcase.

Most were figures from shows he had seen, looking in mint condition aside from the thin layer of dust on them. They weren't essential, but Natsu figured the teenagers at Fairy Tail might like them. He bagged a few popular ones before going back to the more useful supplies.

Natsu eyed the gaming system set up, but ignored it in the end. They didn't have electricity yet, and until they did he didn't want to get his hopes up.

It would greatly improve the quality of life. The survivors needed more rewards than simply living. Some entertainment would go a long way in bringing morale up.

Natsu looked at the TV, wondering how it would be if they had one hooked up in their room. He smiled as he stuffed clothes into a bag, imagining him and Lucy sitting on their bed, wrapped up in a blanket as they watched a movie on a big screen.

The more he thought about it, the more his face started to drop, realizing Lucy was never getting close to him again. She probably wasn't going to share a room with him anymore, let alone their bed.

Could he even consider it their bed since she had never even slept in it?

He couldn't blame her for distancing herself after the way he acted yesterday...

'And today.'

Natsu sighed, knowing he had been unreasonable, but so had she. Lucy could have told him when she first had the idea of being a runner, before he even left for Hargeon.

Natsu grumbled, knowing he was being unfair. He hadn't given her the chance to even bring up the idea. If he had never left for Hargeon, would she have ever become a runner? Did she jump on the opportunity as soon as he left, knowing he couldn't stop her?

If so, had he made her feel that caged in?

Natsu's breathing had quickened, wondering if Lucy felt like he took away her freedom. He didn't want to control her, he just wanted her safe.

But, his definition and hers of the word weren't matching up. She thought she was safe off base, and he knew there was no such thing.

Natsu didn't want to fight with Lucy. He wanted to be her friend, for them to be happy together. Yesterday when Mavis mentioned expanding Fairy Tail to the houses nearby, he immediately envisioned Lucy and him moving into a house together.

He hadn't even thought twice about it, knowing that was what would happen. Now, that was less of a reality unless he fixed things with her.

But, where would he even start?

Natsu moved to sit on the empty bed as he put his head in his hands. He didn't want to apologize for things he wasn't sorry for, but he had some regrets about their recent encounters.

He had yelled at her yesterday, and that wasn't fair. He had also insinuated she couldn't be a runner, and now he knew it wasn't his choice, but that didn't make it any easier. He couldn't stop the fear, chest hurting so bad just from the thought of losing her.

He couldn't imagine how lost he would be if she died and he could have done something to prevent it.

Natsu nodded, deciding he wouldn't apologize for telling her she shouldn't be a runner because he was still scared of that decision, but he would apologize for yelling, his attitude, his behavior, and his blatant disrespect after she told him her wishes.

As Natsu stood he took a deep breath, hoping the next time he spoke to her, he didn't make things worse.

After gulping, Natsu left the room to search for Lucy. He didn't find her in the room he had last seen her in, a trickle of fear entering his system at the thought of her going outside without his protection.

He rushed towards the door, finding more trash bags left by the entrance. Natsu was about to reach for the doorknob, but stopped when he heard something from the kitchen.

Following the sound, Natsu found Lucy standing by the table, a scrap of paper in her hand.

"Oh," Natsu started, drawing her attention towards him. "I didn't think you'd come back in here."

"Sorry," Lucy mumbled, setting the paper down. She rubbed at her arm, eyes falling to the ground. "I wouldn't have read it if I knew..." Her voice was soft again, almost timid like she was in the beginning. His heart tugged, deciding he didn't care for that behavior.

He wasn't ready for the confidence she possessed now, needing more time to get used to the person she had grown into.

'I wish I was here to witness it.'

"Don't sweat it," Natsu ended up saying. He considered himself brave, but admitting he missed out was something couldn't do. He offered her a wane smile, switching his brain to thoughts of Igneel. "I don't mind, really."

Lucy nodded, her voice soft but firm as she asked, "Do you often leave notes like this?"

Natsu cupped the back of his neck, sheepish as he admitted, "When I remember."

"Is..." Her eyes flitted around as she squeezed her arm.

He frowned, wondering what bothered her. "What's wrong?"

Lucy glanced at him before her eyes fell elsewhere. "I don't know how to act around you."

Natsu lost his breath as he tried to chuckle, but it came out as a gasp. "Sounds like me, a few nights ago." He had felt on edge because he knew she was upset that he told her secret. 'What if she was also acting weird because she didn't want to tell me she was a runner?'

That thought had Natsu nodding, convinced he had solved the mystery of why Lucy had a hard time making eye contact and talking with him the night he got back. 'Makes perfect sense.'

"I guess I do," she said, looking at the paper again. "Is Fairy Tail the place you got in an accident?"

Natsu managed a real chuckle, remembering that day. "Yeah. Scared the hell outta the Driver's Ed teacher."

A smile appeared on Lucy's face, Natsu's body easing as he moved towards her. Keeping the table between them, he said, "You saw how I got earlier on the trailer?"

She nodded, her smile faltering. "You looked really sick."

"I was. I get like that when I don't take medication." He shrugged as he added, "Sometimes it's worse, but anyways, my medication wore off when I was driving, so..."

Lucy put a hand to her chest. "I can imagine. Did you get hurt?"

"Nah," he said, pushing a sleeve of his jacket up to show her his bandaged arm. "I got more hurt falling off that damn bike than that."

She shook her head. "I can't imagine Loke getting in a race." She eyed him before a hint of a smile showed up again. "You I can totally believe though."

Natsu let his shoulders shake as he laughed. "Yeah. Wasn't my best idea."

"At least you didn't get more hurt," she pointed out, causing him to nod.

"Yeah."

Silence fell between them, but unlike earlier, it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. Lucy looked back at the table, biting at her bottom lip. The action caught Natsu's attention. For a brief second he wondered if she tasted the sucker from earlier on her lips, but that thought didn't fully register when she asked, "You believe he's still out there?"

Tension returned in his body, though not as strong as before. He nodded, heart feeling heavier. "I wanna believe he's alive, but... sometimes—"

With a deep breath, he confessed, "Sometimes I-I wonder if he even made it past that first day."

Natsu's gaze fell to the note as his eyes dulled. "I talked to him for a minute when everything started happening. The line went dead after I told him where we were."

Natsu looked at her, seeing the compassion on her face. It pulled at him, but he remained in place. So far he hadn't said or done anything to upset her, and he didn't want to risk changing that by getting in her personal space.

"I dunno if he went to the campsite, but if he did he wouldn't have found us. After me and Levy got back from getting gas, we got all our friends and got the fuck outta there."

He wasn't cold, but Natsu shivered at the horrific sight that fell over the camping grounds.

All over Magnolia.

"We got Gildarts, then went to my place but Igneel wasn't there. We went to Levy's, but her parents were already..."

Levy didn't even get a chance to grieve the loss of her parents before she was being dragged back to the truck, the group moving on to Gray's house to get Ultear and Ur.

"Gray's mom had turned, and Ultear put her down. Erza and Jellal's parents weren't home, so we just kept driving." He swallowed, remembering how chaotic everything had gotten in such a short amount of time. "Cars kept crashing into each other. People just started... well, they weren't people anymore. We just kept going, then we ran into Laxus."

Natsu hadn't known Laxus personally, but he was a welcomed sight in such a scary time. "He was still a cop. He told us to go to Fairy Tail. There were a lot of us in the beginning, but..."

He frowned, grabbing the back of a chair as he leaned against it. "We got picked off pretty quickly. We um, we made a lot of mistakes in the beginning. Even months later, but we learned, got better."

"You don't really talk about the beginning," Lucy said, causing Natsu to shrug.

"Don't like thinkin' about it. You know that first night, Fairy Tail had over four-hundred people?"

When Lucy's eyes widened, he sighed. "Now we're down to a hundred or so, if that." He hadn't asked Makarov if they gained or lost any survivors while they were away. "I tried calling Igneel when we locked up the school, but his phone kept going to voicemail."

Natsu sucked in a sharp breath before shaking his head. "I know he didn't have my number memorized. I didn't even have his, so I'm thinking his phone got broken, and that's why the call cut out."

"I bet it's hard not knowing what happened to him," Lucy said, causing him to nod.

"The cell towers started failing like, three days later. I dunno if he went home to find my number, or if he went to the camping site, or where the hell he woulda gone, but I'm hoping—"

His eyes fell to that paper once more. "I'm hoping if he's still out there, he'll find one of these notes and come to Fairy Tail."

With an unsure look, Lucy said, "I hope he does."

"Thanks." Natsu's eyes found hers, that raw feeling coming back, like he was left exposed. "I don't know which is worse, not knowing if he's alive, or finding out he's already gone."

Lucy's shoulders fell, the woman hesitating before saying, "I can't imagine how it must feel. I, I have a bit of comfort knowing my parents aren't h-here anymore. Ivan, he killed my dad, and my mom turned into... one of those things."

Natsu's eyes widened, his lips sealed in fear of spooking her. It wasn't exactly new information, Natsu guessing as much from the small clues she left over the months of knowing her.

"I wasn't sure if my mom was one or not," she admitted, eyes moving from him. "But after seeing more of the undead, I know for sure she's not alive anymore. She— Gosh, I hope she's not still moving around. I hope someone stopped her, but I have no clue. She's at the hospital."

"Magnolia's hospital?" Natsu asked in a whisper, earning a nod from Lucy.

"My dad is— was in the medical business, kind of. He kept saying if we could've gotten her to the Crocus hospital it wouldn't have happened, but I don't think that's true. I... I think he just wanted some type of control over what was happening to us."

Lucy looked Natsu in the eyes as she said, "He wasn't used to not having control over everything, so I think that, on top of losing his wife, really messed with him."

Natsu nearly gasped for air, realizing he hadn't been breathing. He feared pushing her into silence, but his curiosity was burning, and she was actually talking to him.

Not just small talk or them bickering, she was opening up to him despite her saying she would be hesitant in the future. He didn't want to risk it, but he ended up asking, "How... was he messed up?"

He didn't know if his wording was correct, but Lucy seemed to understand what he meant. "When we finally got back to the lake house, he was in denial. V—"

Lucy swallowed hard, nails digging into her jacket. "V-Virgo and I left our phones at the hospital in our purses, and my father's was lost when we left. He was trying to call for help, but his phone was knocked out of his hand, and with everything going on, we just left it."

The questions in Natsu's head began piling up. What type of job did her father have in the medical field? Was he a doctor? In the administration? How many times did Lucy come close to dying that day in the hospital? How close of friends was she to Virgo? She had mentioned her once, maybe twice, but she never went into details.

All he knew was Ivan's group hurt her too, killed her even.

Natsu's arms and legs grew numb as he looked at Lucy, wondering how in the world she was still standing in front of him today. With as many brushes with death that she had, how was she still alive?

"He wouldn't talk to us much. I... I don't think he could process what happened. When he did talk to us he just kept saying we shouldn't have gone on the vacation."

Lucy's eyes narrowed, a hint of irritation in her voice as she said, "He made it seem like it was my fault, even though I know it wasn't. I did, at the time, but I know now it wasn't my fault. He wanted to go on the vacation to take our minds off something that happened to me, but it wasn't my idea. I didn't even want to go."

"Why did you?" Natsu asked, knowing she was a legal adult when the outbreak happened. Couldn't she have declined the offer to go on vacation.

Lucy tipped her head back as she inhaled through her nose, staring at the ceiling for a moment. "I didn't have a choice," she said, head lowering to meet his gaze once more. "I didn't have a lot of choices back then."

The edge in her voice suggested she wasn't just upset at her past, Natsu having the feeling she was hinting at the fact that he tried taking her choice away yesterday during their fight.

He didn't comment, worried he would be right.

"I didn't get along with my dad well towards the end. I always felt like just another thing he owned." She snorted, but she didn't look amused. "It's the reason I stayed with Loke so long. The first time I even brought up wanting to break up with him, my father convinced me he was a great catch and we'd 'work things out' and that all couples 'went through a rough patch'." She used air quotes to emphasize her point.

That bit of information had Natsu leaning in. "Really? How many times did you think of breaking up with Loke?"

"Four... maybe five times." Lucy shook her head, brows furrowed as she took a deep breath. "I don't want to get into that, or even still talk about my dad. I just..." She blinked before her eyes widened. "What were we even talking about that led to this?"

Natsu's jaw went slack, wondering if he was supposed to respond. He loosened his grip on the back of the chair but stayed in place. "The note I left for my dad..."

"Oh, right." Lucy nodded, her annoyance leaving her voice. "I... I really hope you find out what happened to your dad."

"Thanks," Natsu said, chest warming. "I hope I do too."

"If you want, we can jot down more notes and I can start leaving them in the houses I go through?" Lucy offered, causing him to shake his head.

"Nah, there's no point since I'll be with ya anyways."

"Like, past today?" Lucy asked, the softness on her face fading. "You plan on working with me... in every house?"

"Well, yeah," Natsu said as if it were obvious. What did she think? He was going to watch her for one day and that be it?

'It just takes one mistake. One slip up and she's gone.'

No, he couldn't risk that. He was going to protect her, determined to keep his promise.

Upon hearing the news, Lucy's lips pressed into a thin line before twisting. Natsu thought she might say something further on the subject, but she ended up sighing. "Let's... get back to work."

Natsu's stomach dropped when he made a move to leave, panic filling his system as he jerked a hand towards her, only to bring it back to his stomach.

"Actually, before that..."

Lucy stopped, raising a brow as she waited for more.

"I just wanted to say... about yesterday," Natsu started, cupping the back of his neck. He had come out of the room with a goal in mind, and now seemed just as good as any to let her know he regretted his behavior. "Yesterday I acted like a dick, and I'm sorry for yelling at you."

Lucy's eyes rounded, her lips parting. "What?"

"I shouldn't have yelled at you. I know it doesn't justify it, but I just had an argument with Gray and already needed to cool off, but then Makarov told me you were a runner and I kinda just saw red."

His eyes dropped, embarrassed by the way he acted. "I'm... also sorry I kept shutting you down. I... I shoulda talked to you." He shook his head. "I really should've calmed down first before finding ya, but I wasn't thinking clearly, and then I saw you with Hibiki and I felt kinda icky about that—"

Was icky the right word? He didn't know how else to describe his displeasure from seeing the two so cozy next to each other.

Deciding he didn't want to go down that confusing road again, Natsu added, "I wasn't a good friend yesterday, and I'm... I'm sorry." He finished by looking up at her, seeing her face had softened once more.

"So, you're okay with my decision to be a runner?" she asked, caution laced in her voice.

He clenched his teeth as he tipped his head side to side. "Honestly? Not really..."

That had Lucy frowning, whatever light in her eyes snuffed out. "Oh."

"I'm not okay with it at all," he admitted, seeing the disappointment on her face. "But, I realize it's not my place to say what job you do."

When Lucy's eyes narrowed at him, he crossed his arms over his chest, feeling his defenses building. "That's why I'm out here, to make sure nothing bad happens to you."

"So, when you said you were bored earlier, that was a lie?"

Natsu swore she could cut him with her sharp tone, the man jolting before giving her a nod. "Y-yeah."

"I see," she muttered, looking away from him. "So you're just babysitting me?"

"I wouldn't say that," Natsu said, frowning when she asked what he would call what he was doing. "I'm just looking out for you."

"I can take care of myself," she said, and Natsu had to fight the urge to shake his head because he knew that would be the wrong answer.

"I just... I wanna make sure—" He didn't know how to voice his concerns without upsetting her further. "I'm trying to tolerate you being a runner, 'cause I don't think I can accept it, but I know it's not my choice. I just... I need to make sure you're safe."

"Well," Lucy started, shaking her head as she stared at the table. "I'm not going to act like that doesn't hurt, but... I guess it's better than yesterday."

"I'm really sorry about how I talked to you," Natsu offered, but it didn't seem to help. "I'd just feel more comfortable if I can watch you and make sure nothing bad happens."

It wasn't his place to decide what she wanted to do with her life. He was just scared her decision would end up shortening that life.

"I'm—" Lucy stopped herself before slowly exhaling. "I'm going back to work."

Natsu's stomach dropped when Lucy walked around the table and moved past him, going deeper into the house. He let out a frustrated sigh, knowing he was once again making things worse.

He knew what she wanted was him to stand back and let her be a runner like she had been doing, but from what he had seen in just a few hours she could be careless and lacked discipline.

Hell, she wanted to have a conversation while leading the zombie chariot! Clearly she wasn't taking the job as seriously as she needed to, but he was there now, so he could pick up whatever slack she left behind.

Natsu went back to the bedroom he had come from, catching a glimpse of Lucy passing by with a full trash bag. He left the door open to listen for trouble, his ears perking up when he heard the front door open.

'She's not going outside, is she?'

Natsu pulled away from his task, peeking a head out of the room to see the front door wide open with Lucy nowhere in sight. He panicked, racing out of the room to reach the door. His eyes needed a second to adjust to the blinding light outside before he spotted Lucy walking away from the house.

She reached the street then turned, hand gripping the handle of her machete before the other hand unsnapped the velcro.

There were other runners around, but Natsu's eyes found a figure moving in his peripherals. His heart dropped when he saw a zombie approaching, the thing staggering right towards her.

"You got it?" someone called, causing Lucy to give them a thumbs up.

"It's mine."

However, before she could lift her machete Natsu sprang into action, bolting through the yard and to the street as he pulled a knife out.

He didn't let the zombie get anywhere near Lucy, using all his force into swinging his arm towards the undead's torso, knocking it to the ground. From there it was simple putting it down, a quick stab to the head to render it truly lifeless.

Despite it looking easy, Natsu was panting. Not only was his heart beating out of control, he hadn't sprinted in... He wasn't sure how long. He thought he would be rusty, but with Lucy's life on the line, he hadn't thought twice.

When he stood and turned towards her, he expected to see some type of acknowledgement for his swift kill, but instead he was met with a jab to the chest.

Lucy didn't do it hard, but he still jolted in shock. "What the—"

"I said I had it," she hissed, nose scrunched as part of her lip curled back, anger blazing in those deep brown eyes.

"It was dangerous," Natsu mumbled, vaguely aware he needed to keep his voice down. It terrified him knowing she was actually going to take on that threat without back up. "You could've gotten hurt. What were you thinking?"

Lucy gaped at him before seething. "I was doing my job. You had no right to interfere!"

Natsu ended up growling, unable to control his volume. "I was protecting you!"

"I told you I don't need your protection anymore! I can handle myself!"

"Hey! Hey!" Rogue rushed up, hand held out as he made a downwards motion. "Lower your voices now. There could be others."

Natsu turned to Rogue, needing someone to blame. "Where the hell were you to take that thing out?!"

Rogue recoiled before glaring. "I saw Lucy was taking care of it. What's your problem today?"

"My problem?" Natsu asked, forcing out a puff of air. "You're letting her out here and not even keeping her safe!"

"I won't ask you to lower your volume again, Natsu," Rogue warned, eyes narrowing. "And she seemed safe to me."

Natsu scoffed before realizing Lucy wasn't by him anymore. Fear surged within him before he found her, walking back to the house with her machete back on her hip.

Without addressing Rogue, Natsu moved towards the house, needing to make sure Lucy was okay before moving the corpse out of the road. However, as soon as he got to the porch Lucy slammed the door shut, locking it seconds later.

"What the—"

Natsu took a few steps forward, trying to turn the knob with no luck. "Lucy?"

"Go find another house!" she yelled from inside, but her voice came out as a muffle.

"But—"

"I can do it myself!"

"Lucy," Natsu tried, failing to keep the frustration out of his voice. "Open the door."

"No. You go to your house. I'm staying here by myself to do the job I was trained to do!"

"It's not safe," he urged, wondering if anything entered the house since the door had been left open and unattended. It was unlikely, but he was grasping at straws, needing an excuse to get inside.

"Yeah, I get that, but I've passed training! Believe it or not, I'm actually good at my job!" There was a thud on the door, making Natsu jolt back. "Which you would see if you actually let me work instead of treating me like a child!"

Natsu wanted to say more, to plead with her to reconsider, but she ended it all by yelling, "Go away!"

He swore he could hear her footsteps as she walked away from the door, or maybe it was his pounding heart? He stared at the door in disbelief, shoulders falling when he realized that did in fact happen, and he had somehow made the wrong choice by trying to save her.

'She... she was in danger, right? I... I was just trying to help...'

Even Natsu had a hard time believing him, starting to see how badly he had messed up. She had called the zombie, and there had been a decent distance between her and it when she started pulling out her weapon.

Was it wrong to kill the zombie instead? He just wanted to keep her safe, but maybe his actions were giving her more and more reasons to shut him out. She had grown more than he ever thought possible, but maybe he was holding her back, and she wanted to keep growing.

After a solid two minutes of staring at the door, Natsu stumbled off the porch, head cloudy as he made his way to the lifeless corpse. He had a hard time forming a thought as he dragged the body off the road, stashing it in a pile of other infected the clearers had dealt with when they came through.

Natsu barely registered his actions, struggling to clear his head. He didn't know where to go, and the last thing he wanted to do was talk to Rogue. He had a feeling it wouldn't go well.

He somehow found himself outside of an unclaimed house, knowing he needed to get a hold of himself and become alert before he entered that house.

Slowly the fog lifted, but with it brought troubling and conflicting thoughts.

He didn't want to admit he was in the wrong, but the evidence was piling up.

Lucy wanted to work alone, as a runner. As much as it tore him up inside, and as much as he wanted to go back to the house she was in and talk to her, he had to take a step back and reevaluate things.

Otherwise, he really would lose her.


Up next, Chapter Sixty-Three: Movie night

This chapter would be a good example of one step forward, two steps back. I was going to do a time skip after this chapter, but a guest review (Gumpy) inspired a new chapter to take care of some issues before moving on. And yeah, I'm American. I personally don't think it's strange how much I've focused on sex in this story so it's interesting to me to see other people from different countries' opinions on it. I'm a very sex-positive person and I think sex should be discussed more openly (among consenting adults, which if you're reading this I'm hoping you're consenting to reading the story and also an adult because there's some mature elements in the story). CHDH will not be all about sex, but in real life sex happens, and I think it would happen a lot more in an apocalypse setting. Just my opinion, so sex will be weaved into the story here and there. :)

So, I'm currently juggling 4 fanfiction projects, but I hope to see you all soon with the next chapter! As always, let me know what you thought! I'd say Lucy's run out of patience, wouldn't you agree? Natsu's gonna have a hard time making it up to her, but first he needs to actually address his problematic behavior, which I don't know if you've ever had to do that with yourself, but it can be very challenging. I've addressed my own problems with how I've acted before in the past, and it sometimes takes conscious efforts to be a better person, and I'm still in the process of improving. Natsu will come around and (spoiler alert) count on Lucy to save his ass a time or two, but we're in the messy part of his character development, so it'll be a bit until he really makes some improvements. And, after he's acknowledged his faults and apologizes to Lucy better, he's going to make a grand gesture to show just how sorry he truly is. He's gonna have to call on a lot of favors for it.

Also, in case anyone's wondering, next chapter will be in Natsu's POV again. It's gonna stay there for a bit because I'm most comfortable there. I wanna do a Levy POV, but I have no experience with psychology, and I feel like with Levy doing her own studying, she would analyze people more and have more intricate thoughts. Honestly, that's a task I'm not ready for, so comfort zone it is!

Thank you all for your wonderful feedback: brick482, valerioux, Ryu of Konoha, Xfangirl123X, Stellar Spirit Mage, AbsentAngel, Meow Orbit, samurai of sunflowers, shootingstarssel, sonikastalker, sakshishetty3003, PanadeineForte, Guest, Guest, guest, Raquenzel, missvarta1, stranger1999, ElementalMiko12, Stavroula99, BlondeAlchemist, aiyannaliszkap, CathJorda, Abi6ail, FlameDragonHime, BeachBumBabe, Duchixx, Gumpy, Sam, Hayitsmay363, SistershoOk, ms. annelily, Unicorn20023, CrazyZaika, Lodemai04, theunicorn22, ReynaSofy997, TysonG, Doginshoe, Tohka123, sammecham50, ottermadness, annegirl13, Reindeerpoop11, MissYukkina, Guest, and Patpat!

Thank you for reading! I hope you have a great day/night, and remember, let me know your thoughts. Anyone thought it was bad when Natsu wanted Lucy's acknowledgement for killing the zombie so fast when all she wanted was Natsu to recognize her skills as a runner? They need to get better at communicating. All relationships need healthy communication to function properly.

(I know I'm rambling, but oh well. You can choose to skip if you'd like) I will say that sometimes when I'm honest with someone it makes the relationship tense. I was honest with someone close to me at the beginning of 2020 and there's still this tension towards the end of 2020, so sometimes maybe it's better not being completely honest? Or maybe tension is just gonna happen? Or maybe every relationship can be complicated and I still have a lot to learn about humans/communication/and such. We're all still learning. As long as we try to be better than our past selves.

Thanks again! See ya!