Chapter Sixty-One
Expedition
Cullen came to see us off. Meredith had warmed up to us a lot since I had been part of turning in Grace and the others… and yeah – that bitch tried to throw me under the bus by complaining to Meredith and to Cullen that I was a mage. Meredith simply looked her in the eye and said, "It is my understanding that Lady Cousland was cleared of these charges more than once." Meredith then proceeded to throw Grace into isolation – at least 3 months to make sure she wasn't already a Blood Mage.
Varric, Anders and Bethany stood with Hawke while Carver, Obsidian and Fenris stood with me. As Investors, we were each allowed 3 people to bring with us; Varric didn't actually count since he was part of the original team, but Bartrand wasn't going to complain about one less person on the trip.
Isabela, Merrill, and Aveline stood off to the side to see us off and were standing near Cullen. "We've chosen one of the hidden entrances; the Deep Roads there will be nice and virginal, ready for a good deflowering," Bartrand said. He looked similar to Varric; strawberry hair rather than blonde, blue eyes instead of brown, 4'8 so he was an inch taller… but he had a beard that had enough hair for two braids – one on either side of his mouth. He also wasn't as good looking as Varric.
"Now there's an interesting image…" Varric chuckled from between Hawke and me. I gave him a smile.
"It will take a week for us to get to the depth we need, and there are bound to be leftover darkspawn from the Blight; big risks, big rewards."
I noticed Bodahn and Sandal looked my way; Sandal began jumping and clapping, calling 'Enchantment!'
I smiled and waved back, much to the amusement of our companions as Sandal came rushing over for a hug. I leaned forward and hugged him back, "Sandal! It's mighty good to see you again! This is Revas, Fens pup," Revas came close and sniffed at the boy before barking playfully.
"Good to see you again, Ara! It'll be nice having a familiar face on the trip." Bodahn came closer and shook my hand as Sandal played with Revas. Bodahn was 4'6 with brown hair and clear blue-grey eyes. He had a beard that trailed into a small braid at the tip of his chin. He was in his 40s but it hardly showed. Sandal was his son; adopted of course. The Dwarven boy was 'simple' to most people, but I knew the truth.
Sandal was only half dwarf. His father was an Aeducan and his mother was either an elf or a human… likely a mage. Sandal had magic, not that he showed many signs of it. He wasn't simple at all; he could predict the future well enough – if you listen to him in DA2 he predicts Solas' actions.
The Savant boy was merely Lyrium Addled from his time traveling the Deep Roads until he was 5 when Bodahn found him. Sandal was almost 5 foot tall; made sense given his blood mix. He had white blond hair – like Fenris' it was turned by over-exposure to Lyrium – and his eyes were like mine… silver and they glowed in the sunlight.
"Now, before we… wait. Who invited the old woman?" I heard and turned to see Leandra.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, Ser Dwarf, but I need to speak with my children."
I wondered over. Carver gave an exasperated sigh, "Mother, no. we've talked about how important this is!"
"I just want to know one thing: are you planning to take Carver and Bethany with you?"
"I can't leave them behind, mother. Carver is talented with his blade and Templars are circling for Bethany… she needs to get out of Kirkwall."
"If it helps, Lady Hawke, I will look after them. I've made several trips to the Deep Roads before, I know what to expect. And if something happens, I know how to help them. I swear to you, you will see all your children again if I have any say in the matter."
All four Hawkes relaxed.
Cullen came over and pulled me into a hug, "Please be careful – I'm not sure what I'd do if you didn't come back."
"Oh I will come back… here. This is a special Mirror that the Fae use; it will allow us to talk face to face every night or day. It's part of a larger mirror that can be used for long distance travel – I'll give you the other half when I come back. This is just so that if we're delayed you don't freak out thinking something happened. I love you Cullen."
He stilled – we hadn't said the 'L' word yet; not really. We had admitted to caring for one another, but he was of a mind that it was too soon for love. I smiled, "Don't worry – I don't expect you to…"
He kissed me, "This is a wonderful gift. Thank you, Ara."
I didn't want him to feel like he had to say it so I was actually happy that he didn't say it this time. Maybe… maybe he would come to the realization he loved me soon; I knew he did – just the way he looked at me said it all – but I also didn't want him to say it when he didn't know I had magic yet.
Hawke chuckled, "Those things amaze me; though it still weirds me out to see King Alistair in the house every Monday in time for dinner."
Cullen blinked, "What?"
"I told you – the Mirror can be used for long distance travel; Alistair keeps one in his room that is connected to mine and to yours. I have one for Fenris too – as well as… well, that's a story for later. This purple button is what will connect you to my mirror. The blue button is for Alistairs' mirror; green is what will be Fenris' mirror and the final one will be red. Your color is gold on the other mirrors. It will blink and chime if one of us is trying to contact you." Yeah – they corresponded to the elements – Purple for the Fairy Queen, Blue for the Water Prince, Green for the Earth Prince, Gold for the Air Prince and Red for the Fire Mate when I met them… I was kinda hoping for a female mate, but something told me that if that was what I wanted, I would need to take a secondary mate. Maybe I would keep Bella for the 'once in a while' that I wanted a woman in my bed…
The question was – how to get the Pirate to accept me as a 'wife'? I could promise her booze for life, freedom to have sex with whomever she wanted, treasures and trinkets, and even a whole ship…
Wait, why was I thinking about this? Alistair, Cullen and Fenris had not approved me marrying the pirate in the first place, so why did my mind jump to 'how to woo her'? Goddess damn it.
Bartrand barked out, "Personal drama over with? Then let's get underway."
I pouted but gave Cullen one more kiss before we left.
It took us a solid week of travel. Obsidian didn't like the Deep Roads at all. Bartrand liked having Anders with us when Anders managed to sense Darkspawn a few times so my group could take care of it.
There was a red glow to everything, and I could feel the singing of the corrupted Lyrium in the walls. Obsidian looked sick with it.
A bald dwarf with extensive face tattooing came running up to Bartrand, "There's been a collapse – the way forward is blocked. The side passages seem to be too dangerous."
Bartrand went slack for moment; looking completely relaxed before he reached up, gave his face a scratch and punched the poor blighter in the face. Shooting the messenger… "Useless; what am I paying you blighters for?! Set camp!"
I rolled my eyes and went to help the bald dwarf to his feet. He gave me a look of surprise before nodding his head to me and rushing off.
It was a few hours later when Hawke approached Bartrand, "Sodding Deep Roads! Who knows how long it'll take to clear the path?" Bartrand complained.
"Shall we not try to find a way around, instead? Seems the logical choice," Varric shrugged.
"You think I'm an idiot, Varric? The scouts say the side passages are too dangerous."
"See this is why you bring someone like me along." Hawke smirked.
"We'll take a look. If we come running back, screaming, you'll know staying put was the right decision."
Bartrand looked ready to strange someone as he groaned, "Fine, fine! Find a way around. Just do it quickly."
"This is why I left the Wardens… I hate the blighted Deep Roads," Anders pinched his nose as a giggled. "Like I gave you a choice? I know you would have left anyway, but face it… I kidnapped you with the Warden-Commanders blessing."
He chuckled, "I suppose you did at that."
Anders and I had spoken at length about what would happen in the future. I told him he would die for it; he knew what needed to be done. He had looked at me with determination and nodded. Justice had peaked out and told me, 'the safety of the many depends on this… I will wait until the time is right.'
It had killed me. I wished so badly that I could prevent it all together, but I knew that was ill advised – law of Equal Exchange. They were meant to die, and if not then who would die in their place – children, elderly or worse…?
"Ara… I hate to add to your burdens, my friend, but I fear I must! Sandal has wondered off; he's somewhere in that passage right now," Bodahn begged me.
"Bodahn, my friend, we will find him. Hawke is an excellent fighter and we will save him from whatever harms tries to come for him. He will be safe."
Bodahn looked from me to Hawke – realizing now that Hawke was the leader – and gave him a pleading look.
"As Ara said, we will return your boy safe, Bodahn," Hawke nodded.
We were just barely out of site of the main camp – we had all taken our belongings at my insistence – when Varric looked at the rivers of lava next to the 'roads' and sighed, "It's official: my ancestors were crazy."
I snorted.
We fought darkspawn; and because I hadn't said when the twins would get tainted, they were subconsciously being more careful; a trait I knew would wear down later, causing them to contract the taint.
When we had a small break, I stabbed my thumb with a dagger and smeared some of my blood on Hawkes face. "Erm… what did you do?" Fenris asked.
"It's not magic. My blood is immune to the taint, so I'm making sure Hawke is protected. He's vital to the future; like even after everything happens in Kirkwall, he will still be needed. Besides, doesn't that look sexy on him; the red streak on his face?"
Hawke sighed, "This is how she saved us when we fled Kirkwall too – though we smeared the blood on our hands; not our faces."
"I'll give you that it does make him seem more… appealing. And so long as it isn't magic, that's all I need." Fenris smirked.
"Do you at least think Isabela would like the look… if I got like a tattoo or something?" I thought about it. "Honey, she'd like you any way she could have you… I know Merrill likes Carver. And I know someone who is already in love with your sister…"
"Excuse me?" Carver asked as Bethany squeaked a, 'what?' and Hawke looked stunned.
"Who loves me?" Bethany asked. "Now don't take this weird, but you have yet to meet him. I told him about you and… had a vision of the two of you… you're both Grey Wardens so it's acceptable… and even if it wasn't you two make a lovely couple. He's been nervous to meet –"
"You can't mean the Archer?!" Anders cried out.
"I'll have you know he is a perfect gentleman! And honestly Anders, you know he'd be great for her!"
"I'm sorry, who are you talking about?"
"Nathaniel Howe… He's the son of former Arl Rendon Howe, currently a Grey Warden. He's really sweet. And he knows you're a mage, Bethany…"
"Well… the least I can do is meet with him. I trust you, Ara. If you say we'll be happy together, I'd give it a shot." Bethany smiled.
I perked up as we headed further into the Deep Roads. I heard Carver questioning Anders about if he'd known Merrill had liked him. "Feathers, have I told you lately that you have a way with people?"
"More than once, I believe."
We encountered the spiders – yes there really was a massive one – before moving on to more Darkspawn… I hated the Darkspawn.
I was making sure to 'loot' as much treasure as I could, knowing what Bartrand was going to do. I kept it all in my special bag. The others gave me funny looks, but didn't question it.
"Well, I'll be a nugs uncle… isn't that Bodahns boy?" Varric asked and I smiled at the perfect ring of Darkspawn corpses surrounding him… and the Frozen Ogre hovering in mid-air.
Sandal was facing away from us as he scratched his thigh and Hawke began to approach.
"Hello…" Sandal gave us a grin as his face was covered in blood. I used magic to clean him up.
"It is! The great warrior stands victorious!" Carver laughed.
"I'd really like to know how you managed to kill all of them…" Hawke chuckled, kneeling in front of the Dwarf.
Sandal looked him dead in the eye, holing out a small blue stone with red etching on it. Hawke took the stone gently, and Sandal said, "Boom!"
"And, uh… how did you do that?" Hawke motioned to the Ogre. "Not Enchantment," Sandal replied gravely.
After a game of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors', Hawke ended up escorting Sandal back to camp while the rest of us cleared the small area; we didn't want anyone taking advantage of Sandal.
When Hake returned, we continued on.
It actually took us two days to clear our way to the Dragon… and the group was not happy that I hadn't mentioned the Dragon until the last second…
Fenris bitched, "A Dragon?"
"Well, where is the fun in surprises if you know about them before hand?" I asked.
Obsidian snorted, "I don't know – this one is sort of tiny. If you wanted to get me a gift, my Queen, you could have picked something bigger or more exotic."
"This isn't for you Obsidian – you can have the more exotic beastie that we'll encounter later. The hide from this one is going to make Alistair a new armor."
Obsidian laughed as the others all groaned at hearing there would be something more exotic.
"Well, here we go. This looks like it goes right where we need to be. Let's go back and tell Bartrand; he'll be so pleased," Varric grinned at me.
"Fenris, Carver, Obsidian and I will make camp here and set it up for the excavation teams. Hawke, your group should go back and get the others… I don't think you'll run into any problems, but you will a two day trip there and back… much faster now that most of the 'spawn are dead…"
Hawke nodded and my group began setting things up in the Cavern for when they got back… it only took us a few hours to finish before I set our tent.
That first night, Fenris and I were talking.
"When will I fight Denarius?" He asked. "Not for several more years, love."
"What does one do when they stop running?"
"You start over, Fenris. You look around, find out what you want to stay and what you want to get rid of… and you begin working to make it happen. For me… I knew who I'd follow, but I didn't know I'd find love along the way. It was… difficult. Back on Earth, I was considered rather… undesirable. Sure, I have nice eyes and a great rack, but I'm over-weight, rather plain looking and damaged. I have so much baggage following me around – even back then – that most people didn't find me worth the effort. Now I have Alistair, and two other wonderful men I love… and I'm terrified of losing any of you. If I have to accept a role of only friendship to be near you, then that's what I'll do. Fenris, you have Hawke, Carver… me… we all love you in our ways."
"My first memory is receiving these markings; the Lyrium being branded into my flesh. The agony wiped away everything. Whatever life I had before I became a slave… it's lost…" he shook his head and looked away from me. We were snuggled up together on our bed. "I shouldn't trouble you with this… my problems are not yours."
I snorted. "They are though. Even if you said nothing to me of them, my love, I would still know – and you're my mate. If you want to know more, I can tell you a bit of your past. It isn't pretty, but it isn't my choice."
"I don't think I'm ready for that yet. I know that Fenris was the name Denarius gave me; his 'little wolf'."
"Well… I could help with your problems…" I gave him a sly grin, "Or give you a few more." He laughed, "Only a few?"
"Depends if I really work at it, don't you think?" he kissed my forehead and I looked up at him in shock. He smirked, "You're a beautiful woman… are you sure you wish to bestow your affection on me?"
"You want to repeat that first part?"
"I'm quite certain that I need not repeat the obvious." He chuckled. "You know I'm an escaped slave and an elf… living in 'borrowed' mansion… none of this bothers you?"
"I'm also a former slave; one that looks like an elf… and if the mansion bothers you, you're free to claim my home too… I know you won't, but I'd love to have you there any time. Not to mention, I'm married to the King of Ferelden, you will likely have to have a talk with my 'brothers' at some point if we do this, and to top it off, I'm so messed up you wouldn't believe it. You know my kinks, Fenris – the bondage, the choking, and the… does it bother you? I can live without the kinky stuff, but I don't want to live without my mates. I'm a Queen – I don't even want that title, but if I weren't the person I am, then I wouldn't be here; loving you… does any of that… bother you?"
"Well… you raise some interesting points. I will consider that – though… no, I don't think any of that bothers me past the fact of how you grew to enjoy those 'kinks'."
I fell asleep with a small smile as I curled into him.
Obsidian was cooking when I woke up the next morning. Fenris was awake; just holding me. I was really hoping that he wouldn't leave me like in the games if we… I was terrified to look – and I had gotten good at blocking the visions over the last few weeks.
I knew the general outline of wat needed to happen and placed bookmarks for anything diverged from the timeline that needed to happen, but I felt it was an invasion of privacy to look in on my friends without their permission… and especially my mates. That's why I didn't know if Cullen would be okay when he learned the full truth of what I was – a Fairy and a Queen.
I was scared – I didn't want to lose my mates. According to that blasted book Magma had given me, the Queen needed to have four mates – so if any one of my mates rejected me, then I had to take a secondary mate. As it was, I was running out of time to meet my fourth mate; if I didn't meet them soon, then I would still have to take a secondary – I needed to either be mated or courting four mates by my third year as Queen.
I had three – Cullen, Fenris and Alistair. If I didn't meet my fire mate soon, then… well, I'd need to sit the three of them down and talk seriously about me trying to court Bela. If I was at least courting the pirate, then the rule was followed – and nothing said that I seriously needed to take her for a mate. I read that book cover-to-cover three times looking for loopholes – and thank the Goddess for the modern legal system and my High School Law Class elective when I fancied being a lawyer.
My teacher then had been… amazing – and his resignation was what made me not take the follow up class the following year. I learned a lot about finding loopholes… and obscure, useless laws that were still in effect.
Fenris caressed my hair – playing with it – as he said, "What has that frown on your face, Ara?"
I sighed, "Fairy Laws and Legal Loopholes. If I don't find my fourth mate soon… I'm going to need to start courting someone else. The best bet would be taking Bela as a suitor – I don't need to mate with her, but I have to be courting either all four mates or four potential mates by the time my third year as Queen hits – just because the Queen has always been fully mated before she ascends in the past, doesn't mean that there weren't laws in case this did happen… most people just skip that chapter since it was irrelevant until now."
Fenris frowned, "I do not like the idea of Bela… but she's a better option than say… Anders or Merrill…"
"My next choice would be Sebastian Vael – he took vows, though they'd be obsolete soon… basically, at the moment, all I could do with him is flirt and watch him turn red while saying he needed to pray."
Fenris smirked, "If I had a choice, then I would say you should pick him."
I laughed, "You and Alistair would – actually Cullen might say the same… unless he's into watching me with another woman…"
Fenris sighed, "What do you want to do?"
"If I don't meet my other mate soon… I think I'd pick Sebastian. At least I know I won't pick up any sexual diseases from a man I'm not sleeping with. Bela goes to Anders once every third month in my visions for that very issue. I only took Bela to bed after making sure she was 'clean' – I always make sure the people in my bed are clean before having any sort of fun. I would not have gone down on her if I wasn't completely confident… I uh… ahem… I know you're clean; when you went to Anders for that nasty wound the other day, he checked. I didn't ask him too – but he knew my policy. Alistair was completely untouched when I met him – and Cullen told me he was checked after his last and only relationship failed."
"Cullen has been in a relationship?"
"I didn't even know he had been – he'll tell me more when he's ready or he won't; I just know he's clean and that he had a relationship that failed. He only told me when I casually mentioned the policy to Meredith as something she should have her Templars doing since quite a few of them are rather loose at the Brothel."
Fenris sighed, "I do not appreciate the Abo… Anders checking me for such things without my knowledge – but I do appreciate that you didn't ask him to. And…"
My mirror chimed – ha, the timing was hilarious since both Cullen and Alistair were calling at once. I answered both – marveling when the screen split into two with Cullen on the left and Alistair on the right.
Alistair smiled, "Hi, Ara – oh, hello Cullen!" yeah – the 'calls' merged when I answered them both.
"Er… Y-your majesty…" Cullen flushed.
"Great timing – I was just going over Fae Laws with Fenris and I need your opinions on something."
Cullen frowned, "Is this about… the Queen?"
"Sort of – I need to be in at least a courtship with four people within the next two and a half years. If I don't meet the fourth… person… in that time then I need to be 'courting' someone with the potential to take them as a 'secondary' mate. Now, I have narrowed it down to two options – the slutty Pirate that catches sexual diseases like flowers at a wedding or the chantry brother that will not be sharing my bed since he took vows of chastity that will be null in about 10 years but he'll still not be in my bed. Fenris votes for the Brother, but I need input from you two."
"Brother," Cullen said at once. Alistair nodded, "I think I'd feel better if you chose the Chantry Brother too – at least you wouldn't be taking him to bed. No offence to Isabela – she's lovely and… rather fun in bed… but the less chance of you taking a secondary mate and making me jealous, the better in my books…"
"There we have it – now I just need to convenience said brother to court me at least semi-seriously with no intention of actual of marriage so that I'm not forced to take someone I don't love to my bed on a frequent basis. So – what had the two of you calling me at this early hour?"
Alistair started, "I er… The Landsmeet is pushing on when they'll meet the Queen…"
"Tell them she'll be in Val Royeaux for the Chantries tests in no more than 6 months and she'll make her way to Denerim right after that – she's currently in the Deep Roads."
Cullen spoke, "I er… your guards… have taken in a Qunari?"
I laughed, "The Qun was curious about the Fae – since the Fae hold magics that are not considered magic by the Qun. See, the magic that Fairies have can technically be taken away in a special circumstance – Alistair once had the magics of the Queen at his disposal and that is why he can go into a 'no-bounds' protective state where he can call on his own innate magical power if I'm threatened – especially if I were with child and threatened. The one threatening me would not survive."
"T-the magic… can be taken away?"
Alistair nodded, "For only so long as the artifact is in play; but those artifacts were banned… with good reason. The Queen was ill in a way where I thought she might have been pregnant – with my child. I almost collapsed a whole Thaig in the Deep Roads Cullen – it wasn't pretty. Worse still, I was essentially using 10 times the amount of energy from her that it would have taken her to do the same things. I almost killed her because she didn't tell me that."
"You did not – you wouldn't have been able to use more energy than could be given. The most you could have was knock m… her out for a few days." I argued.
Cullen was frowning – I could see he didn't understand why he was feeling protective of the Queen. He cleared his throat, "So the Magic the Fae hold is not really… magic?"
Alistair snorted, "It's what prevents them from being possessed by demons and makes them immune to Templars and Blood Magic, Cullen. They can still traverse the Fade, but they're more in tune with it than a spirit would be."
"That is important information to have…" Cullen muttered with a slight flush.
I chuckled, "If you ask, my guards would be happy to give you lessons on the Fae too, Cullen. I would give you lessons if you asked. Anyway – I think Hawke and the others will return soon so I should really get moving."
Alistair blinked in worry, "Return – where did they go?"
"I stayed to set up the Thaig for camping while the others went to collect the others and show them the side way around. Oh relax – Obsidian, Carver and Fenris stuck with me Alistair."
"I'd feel better if you hadn't split up…" he muttered.
I snorted, "It couldn't be helped – the main tunnel collapsed years ago so we had to find a way around. We stayed grouped while we cleared the passages, but now that it's mostly safe, we only split while Hawke collects Bartrand. Oh – Alistair; Sandal and Bodahn are here too!"
"Ah – how is our favorite enchanter?" Alistair smiled.
I giggled, "Sandal blew up 40 darkspawn and froze an ogre solid in midair – so, he's doing fine."
Cullen suddenly went bright red, "I er… I only just realized that you are… indecent…"
I looked down – yeah… I was naked. I shrugged, "I would hope you'd see it eventually, Cullen… preferably in person. But I sleep naked – unless the people sharing my bed aren't my mates or people I'm having sex with. Like when I shared a bed with Nathaniel Howe, I wore clothes… and with Anders…"
Cullens' face darkened, "You shared a bed with Anders?"
"He kicks and snores and I end up shoving him onto the floor after like… two hours, tops."
Alistair laughed, "Then I won't have to worry about him trying anything – I know he flirts but with sleep etiquette like that, he'll never get back into your bed; you love to snuggle too much."
"Damn straight – and Fenris hates him so… yeah…"
The elf in question was muttering about ways to kill said mage… uh oh…
"Er… I need to go sooth my elf – I'll talk to you later, bye," I hung up and worked on getting Fenris to promise not to kill Anders.
When Hawke returned we all continued on…
Bartrand whistled, "I thought… an abandoned Thaig, something old, but… what is this?"
"How did you even know it was down here?" Hawke asked.
"Old scavenger tale; after the 3rd Blight. A week below the surface they said; nobody believed them… looks like they were right."
Bartrand nodded at me, "Thank you for setting camp."
Did he just… thank me? Or was that my imagination?
After a day of looking around, Bartrand approached our group. I could tell the Lyrium had been singing to him. He looked ragged; I was the only one to notice, it seemed.
"I don't get it; nothing makes sense."
"Why's that?" Hawke looked like he was expecting Bartrand to just tell us to pack up and go home.
"We're well below the Deep Roads… Wherever dwarves lived here, they came well before the first Blight. But where are the statues of Paragons? I don't recognize the markings on the walls or anything in the rubble."
"That just means its valuable… right?"
"Yes, but… I know enough about our history to know that Dwarves haven't changed much. We've been mired in Tradition for ages. These dwarves may have been unique. If so, I hope they kept their valuables close at hand."
When we were away from Bartrand, "What is it you're not saying?"
"He's right. This place hasn't been inhabited since before the Arlathan Empire fell. No statues because there were no Paragons, only Titans. I'm not sure how the Golems got here, but there are a few: it's odd because the Golems were only created during the First Blight in 255 Ancient. I know that Caridin had led a few expeditions to reclaim Thaigs… maybe this was one of them? I won't know for sure, unless I could talk to Caridin again…"
"Wait… Paragon Caridin has been alive since 255 Ancient? That was the year 940 of the Tevinter Empire… that's more than a thousand years ago, Feathers."
"Yeah, and? He's a Golem, Varric, he doesn't age. He was forced onto the Anvil only 7 years after making it, you know."
"Still… hard to believe that all that happened before Andraste was even born…" Hawke breathed.
I shrugged. "Let's get to work… we have a long adventure ahead of us."
Bodahn stopped us on our way. "Thank you again, Messer! I owe you a great debt. I will repay it; I swear it on my life," he spoke to Hawke and I smirked from behind Bodahn as Hawke shot me a look. I gave Sandal a hug.
"Er… no need. I'm just glad he was alright."
"Because of you. You will not regret this, Messer," Bodahn had tears in his eyes as he thanked Hawke. "Revas… keep watch over Sandal for me, okay? I'll meet you back in Kirkwall," I whispered to the hound; he barked and sat next to the Dwarf with a happy look as I handed Sandal the void bag of dog food, "Doggie!"
"Bitch," Hawke said as we continued past Bodahns hearing. I giggled and danced ahead before turning and leaning forward to stick out my tongue as though I was in an anime.
"You're just jealous that I thought of it first! I've known Bodahn for almost 2 years Hawke; that boy is his life."
"Fuck yes I'm jealous! I don't need gratitude for something Sandal did himself. I tried telling him that, but he thought I was just playing it off!"
Fenris gave me a small smirk. It really was a simple hour walk to get to the Red Lyrium Idol.
"You seeing what I'm seeing?" Varric asked the group.
"Is that… Lyrium?" Hawke asked me in disbelief.
"Well, whatever it is, it's definitely magic; and not the good kind," Anders muttered.
"It doesn't look like any kind of Lyrium I've seen."
Bartrand entered the cavern and Varric turned to him. "Look at this, Bartrand; an Idol made of pure Lyrium, I think… could be worth a fortune!"
The other Dwarf whistled and said, "You could be right: excellent find."
Hawke picked it up and tossed it lightly to Bartrand, who caught it. As Hawke turned his back, I saw the Dwarf smirk and head toward the door.
"Not bad, we'll take a look around and see if there's anything further in." Varric looked to Hawke.
"You do that," Bartrand said, having just exited the room. Carver was the first to notice.
"The door!" he shouted rushing to reach it before it closed.
Bethany looked horrified while Anders and Fenris looked at me in speculation.
"Did you know he'd betray us?" Hawke asked as Varric shouted through the door.
I nodded, looking away. "This Thaig… in the future is called Bartrands Folly. The Idol will drive him crazy… crazier. He would have betrayed us before the whole Idol thing, but… Red Lyrium is a disease; it's toxic and… Bartrand was a lost cause before we ever left Kirkwall…"
"Why did you allow any of this?" Varric spat.
"The Idol… it helps us learn things we need to know for the future; also… it plays an important role with the person he sells it too… and… I can't explain everything. Please, Varric… I swear to you, you will see him again. In a few years."
"Is that your response to everything? In a few years? Honestly, Ara!" I flinched as Varric yelled at me.
Obsidian stepped between us with a hard look, "This isn't her fault – you know the consequences of messing with the future too much."
"Varric…"
"No, Hawke; she fucking knew!"
"Of course she knew; she's the reason things have gone so smoothly. She's the reason we're all here; in fact, I've placed my siblings' lives in her hands, Varric. We knew when we started out that she couldn't warn us about everything. We knew that bad things would happen, and that they'd need to for the future to survive. She told you that the whole damn world needed things to play out a certain way, and you accepted that."
I looked away as I slowly followed the group. I felt my heart drop as I finally realized why the people in those damn stories never told their friends that they could see the future. It was because of things like this. But I was unable to lie… I couldn't call things 'just a hunch' or a 'feeling'…
I felt tears slip from my eyes as we killed shades and demons. I felt an arrow pass close to my ear and flinched as it hit the wall next to me.
"That was uncalled for, Dwarf!" Fenris growled. "Thought I saw a demon," Varric shrugged. I bit my lip as shame colored my cheeks. I lowered my head and did something stupid: I rushed off. I heard Fenris shout my name and I knew Anders was holding him back, telling him to give me time when I heard Fenris yell, "We don't have that luxury, Abomination! There are too many enemies around!" I didn't hear the rest; I had gotten too far away.
Obsidian was yelling for me – but even the elements were helping me escape as I cried.
