Disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider. If I did, would real life keep me from updating?I am not Anthony Horowitz.

Chapter 30: The Notebook


Nico flipped the page in his book, but he had long since stopped reading the words on the page. Alex had flopped onto the sofa nearly half an hour earlier – for the first time in several weeks. And it just made the peculiarities of the situation sink in. Nico was just waiting for what came next, because it was obvious that Alex didn't do anything in the past several days without a distinct purpose.

Even if he was pretending to read his notebook.

The change in Alex over the past several days had been… somewhat unnerving. It wasn't that he had changed personality drastically. It was more that… his original personality was starting to come back. The teenager that Nico had met for only a handful of hours. But different, still. Not as jaded about the world in general, but more sarcastic. He had even dared to act like a teenager.

But at the same time…

There were obvious moments that he zoned out mid-conversation, and other times where Alex had asked hesitant questions about their time in captivity. What had happened the first day? How long was Nico there before Alex arrived? Did he remember any names? But nothing too deep. Nothing that required too hard of an answer.

The nightmares had continued as well. Each of them had taken a turn in the past two weeks of sitting with Alex in the bathroom following a nightmare. It seemed, oddly, his place of comfort. Once the stitches had come out, there hadn't been as much concern that he would tear the wound open; but he seemed to appreciate the company. And they all had noticed that he didn't seem quite as distant following a nightmare.

A distinct change from the weeks and months before.

Nico dared a glance over the top of his book and surveyed the scene. Alex had made a lot of progress over the past several weeks, physically. He was no longer favoring his right arm – the stitches had been removed and all that was left was the puckered scar – and was doing more and more with his left hand. They had taken to sprinting more while out on their runs, and Alex was surprisingly fast. He could hold it for a long time, but when it came down to a sprint, he was faster than Nico.

With the changes in personality, physicality, and confidence, it seemed that Alex was determined to push through whatever life threw at him. Nico personally thought that they were quickly running out of the honeymoon stage and would have to soon worry about whether Alex would decide to strike out on his own.

Confidence. Independence. No more worries about his memory.

It was all a recipe for rebellion.

Nico liked to think that they had built some levels of trust, some proof that they weren't out to get him, but… reading the bare notes about Alex's situation before the kidnapping painted a very different picture. He didn't want others looking out for him – and Nico was starting to wonder just who had gotten hurt and why he perceived it as his fault.

And although it had been more or less radio silence from MI6 for the past several weeks – as if they knew they had been up to no good – the latest instructions had them not only going in to a city for a couple of hours, but staying overnight so that Alex could complete some proctored tests. Which… Nico definitely questioned MI6's process and wondered why on earth they decided that July was the time to do it.

The note had done nothing more than mention that Alex was ready to take GCSEs in two subjects and was expected to report to a proctoring center at a specific date and time. The cover story and identification had already been provided and Nico had watched Alex examine it. It was solid enough that he could probably get by for several months before anyone caught on to the fact that it was fake.

Which. Really wasn't what they were going for, if there was any hope of convincing Alex to stick with the SAS unit.

Nico ran a hand over his face, then realized it was probably about time for another page turn.

Alex was steadily gaining more and more resources, more and more information, and… it felt like it was just a matter of time before he up and disappeared once again. And for some reason… Nico felt a personal responsibility to make sure that nothing more happened to Alex. Which he couldn't do if he didn't stick around… Cameron had covertly upped the security around the house, but Nico suspected that Alex had a lot more resources that would allow him to circumvent those protections.

Especially if that little music player held more secrets than it initially appeared.

Alex huffed a sigh from the sofa and paused his scribbling of words and flipping of pages.

Nico could almost feel the eyes on him.

"I bet you never had to study Spanish lit."

The topic is so far out of left field that Nico can't help but snort. "What?"

Alex was now staring at him intently, an annoyed expression on his face. "Well, you're just…" He waved his hand up and down. "Like, native, right?"

Nico set his book to the side and raised an eyebrow, not entirely sure where Alex was going with this. "And by native you mean…?"

Alex let his ever-present notebook fall to the floor and he swung his legs around so he was sitting. "Well, you're… I mean… Your family is from Spain. So, I bet you just got an easy pass and got out of Spanish lit."

Nico sat up straight. Where had Alex gotten that information from? Though he supposed that it had possibly come up in the midst of his rambling the other night… "Why do you say that?"

"Say what?"

"An easy pass."

"Well… I mean… I bet you didn't have anyone forcing you to study double Spanish when you were already fluent."

Nico raised an eyebrow. "Well then, why are you?"

Alex spluttered. "I'm not… fluent. Just like…" He rubbed at the back of his head. "Learned a bit when I was a kid, with my—" He broke off and looked away. "Doesn't matter. It's not like I chose my subjects anyway."

Alright. Clearly a touchy spot. "If you don't like it, then shouldn't you be glad that you'll be done with it in a couple days?" After all, one of the two subjects he was supposed to be sitting was Spanish lit, along with English lit – which was a terrible combination in Nico's opinion.

Alex flopped back on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling. "Lit classes are the worst."

Nico smirked. "Would you believe me if I told you I actually went to uni for Spanish?"

Alex stared at him out of the corner of his eye. "And then you just decided to ditch it all and join the army?"

"Well… no. Army was the plan all along. Officer training, was the goal, actually. But it only took a semester to figure out that uni was not the place for me." He crossed his arms over his chest. "But when you're eighteen, you think you know exactly what you want." Much like Alex seemed convinced that he knew exactly what he wanted for his future. But he was only sixteen. Astonishingly young.

Alex made a face at that, before rolling on to his side. "But at least you could make those decisions." The wistfulness of the tone caught Nico off guard. "There was the chance of doing something."

Nico stared at Alex. It was obvious at the best of times that he felt trapped, but… Was it more than just the temporary prison? "So, what would you do?"

"What?"

"If you didn't have… all this going on. What would you be doing with your life?"

Alex sat up again and gave him a rueful smile. "That's not going to happen, so what's the point of would be's?" He grabbed his notebook and retreated from the room.

Which…

If that wasn't a depressing thought, Nico wasn't sure what was. If Alex really had no sights on his future… well… It couldn't be healthy. But then could he really be blamed? It seemed that he had gotten quite the lot in life for the past several years – and it didn't look like it was going to be improving any time soon.

Nico glanced back at his book. Though he doubted he had the answers… he would at least try to help Alex in whatever way he could. Even if that meant defying MI6. Which… was a terrifying thought.

A great way to lose a career, for sure.

But it was worth it.


Staying in a hotel was… quite the unexpected experience. There were all of the comforts with none of the security. At least, their own security.

It was supposed to be a relaxing experience, but Nico knew that none of them – Alex included – slept well that night. He wouldn't have believed that Alex had slept at all if it weren't for the noticeable sleep marks on his face in the morning.

Mickey had stayed behind – as usual – to keep the safehouse secure. Jacobs was given the option of staying or leaving, but it hadn't been any surprise which he had chosen. They were all starting to feel the monotony of being relatively cooped up within one little safehouse. Any out, even if it was at the whims of MI6, was going to be taken.

Since there was no way Cameron was staying behind – and Nico was by default since anything to with Alex meant he was there – it was a whole entourage that adventured off on whatever this outing for MI6 was supposed to be. Supposedly, two GCSE exams for Alex, a check in with a physical therapist, and an information drop courtesy of MI6.

With one exam and the physical therapist visit down on the first day, none of them had really thought much about what would happen the second day. Or even what would happen at night. With the four of them crammed into a small hotel room, it really wasn't much better than the safehouse. And it hadn't helped that Alex definitely hadn't been in a good mood following the first exam. With little to no privacy, Alex had hardly said anything as they ate the pizza that Jacobs had scrounged up from somewhere.

Bedtime had been… a bit awkward as well, and Nico had heard Alex tossing and turning for quite a few hours – having been picked to have the first watch.

So, the night had been rough.

Nico glanced at Alex across the table in the café they had eventually made their way to. Cameron was off connecting with whatever package drop they had, while they rest of them killed time until Alex had to report to the testing center. The dark circles under Alex's eyes hadn't diminished in the slightest, and he looked as if he was pondering the feasibility of drowning himself in his coffee.

Nico nudged Alex under the table, stirring him out of whatever contemplation he was stuck in. "I think Jacobs is having the most fun out of all of us." Nico nodded toward where Jacobs was holding their cover by flirting outrageously with the worker at the bakery, pretending to be a Spanish tourist with a fairly decent grasp on English – since Mickey was still the only one that spoke French.

Alex glanced over his shoulder, a slight quirk of his lips.

At least that was some sort of reaction.

"He'd do better if he just dropped the poor English," Nico observed, watching the worker flirt back uncomfortably. It was both amusing and awkward to watch. Like a car wreck.

Alex snorted. "Better him than me." He drank a little of the coffee, before scowling down at the drink.

"Not to your liking?" Which, he had never seen Alex drink the coffee in the safehouses, so…

"Prefer tea." He stirred at his coffee, before glancing up at Nico. "I… stopped drinking, didn't I?"

Nico blinked. "Huh?"

Alex glanced carefully at anyone sitting near them, before turning back to Nico. "When we were, you know. I stopped drinking. Once the… drowning started."

You know. Nico held back a shudder at those words. What a simplistic way to put things. You know. But it seemed that Alex wanted to talk about it. "Yes…"

"You probably saved my life."

Nico glanced away and shrugged his shoulders, uncomfortable. "I did what anyone would do." Anyone with a brain and shred of compassion. He couldn't have left a teenager to die in their hands – though he practically had.

"Not anyone…" Alex's voice trailed off. "I'm remembering more. I've got a… a list of things. Events. Places. Whatever." He shrugged. "I don't… it doesn't all fit together. Not linearly."

He was picking at his sleeve now, obviously wanting to ask a question, but… not quite there yet. Nico stayed quiet.

"You said… a while ago… if I had questions. Can you… I've got it all in what I think is close to the right order, but I know there's still a lot missing. Can you just… look it over and let me know what doesn't look right? I don't… want the blanks filled in yet. I'm… working on that."

Nico blinked. It certainly wasn't what he was expecting, but… it wasn't completely outrageous. If Alex was working on piecing together his memories – and it seemed that they were coming back – then that meant that there was the possibility that previously unanswered questions might have answers. Like, who their captors were in the first place and what they wanted with Alex – though Nico wasn't sure that Alex was going to share with the class, even if he knew.

Alex was still staring at him, waiting for an answer.

"Of, of course. Yeah, sure. I can…" His tongue tripped over the words, not wanting Alex to think he wouldn't do it. Sure, it might be triggering as hell, and he doubted he'd sleep well after going through it, but… if it helped Alex, it was worth it.

Alex jerked his head once, before reaching down to his backpack. He pulled out a small notebook, not much larger than his hand, and slid it across the table. "The first few pages have what I think is the order of events. If you… don't agree with something, just rewrite it."

Nico nodded and flipped open to the first page. It was surprisingly legible, though it looked like two different people had written sections of it – most likely dominant and non-dominant hand writing. There were rough approximations of dates, but… even Nico wasn't sure on dates. Time had felt like it moved both incredibly fast and incredibly slow at the same time.

Movement out of the corner of his eye alerted him to the fact that Jacobs had been unsuccessful in his flirting and was signaling that it was time to move on. Nico flipped the notebook shut and put it into his pocket. "I'll look at it and get it back to you."

Alex shrugged and looked away. "Whenever."

Though his posture suggested that he didn't really care, Nico had no doubt that Alex wanted that little notebook back in his possession as soon as possible.

Jacobs brushed by their table and headed out into the street. Nico gave Alex a rueful smile, drunk down the last of his coffee, and got up. The streets were starting to get busy and Alex would no doubt get twitchy as more and more people ventured out into the summer sun. They had an appointment to get to and one more exam to get through.

He would have plenty of time to get through it.


It was a good thing Jacobs had joined Cameron on whatever errand they had, since it meant that Nico was able to stare at the little notebook with no questions asked. Especially since it just wasn't adding up.

There were bits and pieces that made sense, but then others that… made no sense at all. The timeline seemed to be out of sorts, but Nico couldn't put his finger down on just what it was.

While Nico admittedly didn't remember as many of the details about their captivity as he had immediately afterwards – and there was thorough report sitting around in some forgotten corner of MI6 – there were some moments that were etched into his memory. The arrival of Alex. The threats with the gun. The final torture. The fine details, inconsequential ones in the midst of the bigger picture, were vague and indistinct.

Which frustrated him to no end.

So… Nico wrote his own timeline.

He wasn't about to give it to Alex – not when Alex had all but said that he was trying to remember things on his own. But… he needed it for his own peace of mind. To prove that he wasn't going crazy and that he hadn't imagined things. That there were things in Alex's timeline that just… didn't add up. At all.

There was a gap of four days between when Nico woke up with their captors and when Alex arrived. At that point, Alex had already injured his ankle – Nico had wrapped it on that first day. It wouldn't have been fit for running, not at that point. But Alex specifically noted a memory where he managed to slip away from the captors and run. Nearly made it out of the building – according to his memories.

That didn't fit anywhere in the timeline. Unless he had tried running when they first dragged him out of the cell. But… that didn't fit the personality Nico was familiar with. Alex wouldn't have left him behind at that point, not when it was clear that as soon as he stepped out of line, their captors were going to kill Nico.

It just didn't fit…

Alex hadn't stepped down from threats and had – admittedly, stupidly – fought back until he realized his fighting was endangering someone else. That didn't mean he cooperated though…

Nico rubbed at his forehead, flipping back and forth between the pages of scribbles. Little notes and jotted questions marred the pages, with some things frantically scribbled out and others circled numerous times. Reformed SCORPIA popped up several times – and Nico wondered at what kind of backstory Alex had to have gotten mixed up with them at a young age – but included a note that they had been wiped out several months earlier. Names such as Dr. Three and Argemone were circled with question marks and made little sense to Nico.

But the timeline just seemed off.

All because Alex had put several events as happening before he had ever crossed paths with Nico.

Out of order.

Nico barely held back a flinch as Alex suddenly appeared beside him and flopped down into the chair. A glance at his watch told him that it had been on the shorter side of the expected four to five hours of testing. Which meant he had been staring at the notebook for far longer than he was comfortable admitting…

He cast a glance over Alex – all together exhausted. "Went well?"

Alex shrugged, letting his head fall forward. "It's over."

A small smile curled the edge of Nico's lip. "Well… we've got about an hour until Jacobs and Cameron get back. Anything you wanted to see?" It was true, there wasn't much to see in a small French city, but… they had been cooped up for quite a while now.

Alex shook his head, staring at the notebook in Nico's hands. "Did you… did you take a look?"

Nico sighed, looking down at the notebook. It had bits and pieces of useful information. But… bits and pieces that didn't make any sense whatsoever. "For a bit, yeah."

Alex stared at him with wide eyes. For all his bravado, it was hard to remember that he was just a teenager mixed up in everything. Out of his depth. Just looking for answers. "And?"

"Well…" Nico weighed his words. There really wasn't much to go off of… but parts of it felt off. Out of place. "It looks… right for the most part."

"For the most part?"

"There's… things that just don't quite make sense. Like… not so much in the order of things, but… that it shouldn't be possible."

Alex stared at him. "What… what do you mean?"

"Well…" Nico flipped through the pages of the notebook, to where he had scribbled out a rough sketch of his own timeline. "Your ankle, for one. You mention running from them at one point, but you couldn't have, because your ankle was barely walkable in those first few days we met, much less a week later. And you have mention of it bothering you in the same time period. And that implant… there was never a scar or a cut… that I remember. But there should've been. With your memories of it. I'm not… I'm not saying I don't trust your memories, but…" He gave Alex a long searching look. "There's something here that we're still missing, because the notes you have here don't match what I know."

Alex's gaze drifted and he nodded slowly. "Something still missing…" His gaze sharpened again. "You don't remember what all you put in the report, do you?"

Nico shook his head ruefully. "And I certainly don't have a copy."

"I have one."

Nico blinked. "What?"

"Someone gave me a copy. But… I read it once and didn't remember it."

Nico stared at Alex. More than once he wished they could have figured out exactly what it was that had been causing the memory loss. Because the little implant on its own wasn't enough to have done everything. But at least it seemed like it was enough to break the chain of events… Still, the fact that Alex had done something as simple as reading, and hadn't been able to remember it afterward… It almost sounded like sci-fi brainwashing or psychological control, or something…

"I'm… tired of waiting for answers. Especially… if it doesn't all add up." Alex glanced down at the little notebook between them. "I'll read it in the next couple of days and see if it… sparks anything." He shrugged. "Thanks for the effort though."

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask to see the report too, but Nico refrained. As much as he was curious just what someone had deemed important enough to make it into the final report… he suspected that if Alex got it directly from the source there were probably things he didn't want to share. Which… with how guarded he was about everything it was amazing that Alex had even volunteered up the information suggesting that he had the report in the first place.

Jacobs walking though the doors coming up from the stairs broke Nico out of his thoughts.

"Excellent. Ready to bust this place?" He asked, in Spanish. The lady at the receptionist desk was giving him the evil eye, but they were far enough away for her not to have heard anything.

Alex rolled his eyes and pocketed the notebook.

Nico highly doubted that he would ever see that notebook again.


A/N: It lives! Sorry about the delay, between loss of internet for several weeks and then the end of the academic semester and final grades being due, this fell a bit by the wayside. But the good news, is I've got quite a few chapters written ahead. So provided no internet outage, you should get some consistent updates for a few weeks! Thoughts and opinions? What do you think is causing the inconsistency in Alex's timeline?