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Chapter 30: Variety is the Spice in any Relationship
by lightpathetic
"HE'S… MARRIED. …TO PRINCESS SARA."
"Yes."
Shizuka, now sitting on the bed in her room, felt as numb as Zero's voice had intoned just then, as if he were trying to get his brain to accept a fact it had already rejected out of hand. She attributed the numbness to a switch in her mind that had gone to the "off" position, just so she could function, as soon as Stephanie, her minder, asked "Ma'am! Ma'am! Mrs Kiriyuu. Shizuka! Are you okay?" while she had stayed frozen to the spot at which they'd left her. She'd called her by her first name despite her hitherto steadfast refusal to do so. Shizuka realised that she must have looked quite worrisome.
Now, she just felt… senseless. Maybe it was a self-preservation mechanism, evolved to make her think of the welcome banquet that evening rather than the fact the Kaname and Sara were probably screwing like rabbits or laughing at the fact that she was now the "housekeeper".
It certainly served her as she'd welcomed all the guests to the dinner, smiling graciously as the exceptionally poised hostess she was, flawlessly dressed in a shimmering black, low-backed sheath and matching heels, an off-set to her glossy white hair she'd worn in a long braid over her bare back, the end neatly in a jewelled clip. However, she only stayed until they were all seated, leaving before the aperitif. Before Kaname, whose eyes had found hers approvingly during the toast, could realise she had not joined the other diners, as housekeepers generally tend not to do, but letting a senior officer at the table know she had retired sick to her stomach in case it came up. This was not a lie...
"Mother!"
"Yes, Ichiru. I'm still here."
"Are you sure? Are you sure that's what he told you?"
"She said that they were on their honeymoon. Kaname… didn't correct her. I'm… sorry to have to tell you… like this..."
"It makes no sense," Zero chimed in at this point. "What about Yuuki?"
"I thought of her first when I saw her. He would have to have had her blessing. I don't even know how many people know the Leaders are married. I don't know if Sara does. Maybe he got divorced to do it."
"Or maybe he just fucking did it anyway. He operates like he is the law. Like nothing else matters than whatever he wants."
Didn't she know it? Sara felt her cheek tickle. She reached up to rub it and felt the dampness.
No! No! Not over that cretin! She refused!
"Maybe that's what Sara wanted in order to ensure the surrender."
"So, he really is a whore. Figures…"
"Ichiru!"
This was said in unison by Shizuka and Zero. Ichiru scoffed.
"I don't care! Kaname, you are a fucking whore! There! We can stop pretending we have any privacy."
Yes, there was a very good reason why Kaname knew she spoke to her boys often and every reason to believe he knew what about. It was why it was so excruciating to not visit the other. They couldn't speak freely except on inconsequential or obvious things. Now, when Shizuka needed the comfort of her sons, they were miles away on the other side of an unsecured line. They all realised it had to be deliberate. Kaname hated when they excluded him from their discussions. No wonder he was in no hurry to reunite them. So far, they have been trying to be careful. But now, maybe he deserved to hear all of it.
"He'd such a bastard, Mother! When he told us about this, I never dreamed he could mean that cunt! Of all the people he could have picked!"
Shizuka's fist tightened on the receiver at this.
Careful, Zero! He doesn't know…!
Wait…
"He… told you? He told you he was going to do this?"
There was a silence. Shizuka's lips pressed together as the answer was gleaned from their silence. Zero was the first to break it.
"Yes, well… not his marriage. He just said he needed to become involved with someone in order to end the war. He said he wanted our permission to…"
"Didn't he tell you, Mom?" Ichiru demanded, cutting off his brother. "He said he would tell you too."
Shizuka suddenly felt very tired. Very, very tired.
"I have to go."
"Mom! He said he would speak to you too! He said not to risk using the telephone until it was final!"
"I understand, darling. It's just... It's been a long day. I will speak to you both tomorrow. Good night."
Clunk.
She hadn't waited for any more words, removing her hand from the phone and lying back, robe and all, on the fully covered bed, pulling the pillows over her face as she began to sob. That swine! That sorry excuse for a human being! He'd gone there to speak to them and said nothing to her. Yet, he claimed to love her. Yet, she loved him…
"Shizuka! What's wr…?"
"AAAHHH!"
Shizuka screamed holy murder in nine parts fear and one part embarrassment as the pillows lifted and Kaname was revealed to be leaning over her in concern. She'd been bawling unreservedly given her heartbreak and assurance of privacy, so loudly engaged in her misery that she hadn't heard the door. She rolled away from him, hiding her swollen face, puffy eyes, upper lip streaked with snot and slammed into the headboard. She screamed again but in fury as she rubbed her knee and tried to settle into a dignified position on the bed, her back to the beautifully carved headboard, a relief depicting a famous sermon by their religious leader which she'd told herself she'd "borrowed" from the vault, which had seemed a good idea at the time, to glare at the intruder.
"What are you doing in here?!" she stormed, wiping her nose on her sleeve.
"What do you mean? I live here."
"No. No, you don't. I had your things delivered to you and your…"
Shizuka trailed off, giving up, unable to even say the word. She closed her eyes on the sight of him in defeat as she embarrassed herself completely. She had been doing so well up until then, she thought, forgetting he'd caught her howling into two pillows.
Kaname stayed still as he watched her; his face hard as he absorbed her distress, it seemed, with a covertly sadistic fervour. He didn't move until she looked at him again.
He was still wearing his dinner attire, minus his cap, of course. He'd donned his white ceremonial uniform with all the ribbons and medals he'd probably earned, and the red sash and ornate insignia of his office. There had been members of the press in attendance and the light bulbs had provided a stunningly surreal effect as the Second Leader and his bride, a blessedly handsome couple, had descended the winding stairs and entered the Great Hall.
The Princess Regent hadn't disappointed either, her voluminous ivory gown of lace and jewels complemented her tall figure and colouring beside her husband in that opulent place. She was also wearing the ceremonial trappings of her office, her own sash and arms, the half-crown gracefully adorning her gleaming gold chignon. She was, of course, laden with jewellery, just as Kaname liked to see. Shizuka also remembered that Sara had long thick wavy blonde hair. It would be floor length if it were pulled straight, she was sure. She felt silly now, thinking he could be serious about her…
"How can I help you, Kaname?" Shizuka asked, when it seemed he would stare at her the rest of the night. "I was just turning in."
Kaname looked down at the damp pillows in his lap. He seemed frozen in place sitting on the edge of her bed, letting his wife's perfume fill her room, her sanctuary from this mess. Was it only weeks ago they had been fooling around in here? Shizuka tried to find "the switch" again. There was just too much pain to…
"Why were you crying, Shizuka?" he asked quietly, resignedly. His toned reeked of knowing the answer.
Shizuka looked away to the windows.
"It's nothing. I… always cry at weddings."
Kaname's lips tightened as he tossed the pillows and got to his feet, as if recoiling at her response. He ended up walking over to the windows into her line of vision.
"Why did you leave the dinner? I'd wanted you there."
"I felt nauseous, Kaname."
Kaname frowned at the biting edge to her words but he visibly shook it off, deciding on the better part of valour, no doubt.
"Well… are you better now?"
"I'll live. Look, Kaname, it's late and I'm…"
"I agree," Kaname replied, rubbing his face tiredly, finally letting it show, it seemed. "It is late."
Shizuka then watched in astonishment as he pulled at the laces of, then kicked off, his shoes, shrugged off his jacket, tossing it onto an olive and gold chair in the corner he'd squinted at suspiciously before doing so, – was she going to store all the rejects in here? – pulled his crisp white cotton shirt from his belt, all before expressing a yawn that was like an enormous cavernous hole had appeared in his face and crawling on all fours onto the bed.
Her bed.
"Kaname! What are you doing?!"
"What does it look like I'm doing, Shizuka?" Kaname retorted irritably as he inspected the two damp pillows for a possible dry spot before tossing them to one side and heading to lay his head on her lap, encircling her hips and knees with his arms and closing his eyes. Not thirty seconds later Shizuka was staring in utter disbelief at the slumbering dictator lying across her bed, using her lap as a pillow.
"GOOD MORNING, SHIZUKA."
Shizuka opened her eyes guiltily, ceasing her pretence, as she had not too long ago come to consciousness and realised she was in someone's warm embrace, their hot breath teasing her ear. It was still very early but the light of dawn caressed the window treatments. She moved carefully as she rolled backwards, as if giving herself time to absorb the implications before her eyes made it certain. As if she could mistake the now familiar feel of his body, undoubtedly nude.
"Kaname?"
"Yes?"
"How did I get back into this bed?"
Kaname gave her a rather incredulous smirk.
"Guess. I'm sure you've slept much better than if you were shivering away on that couch, pretending I'm the enemy. Imagine my surprise to wake up and find myself alone and you on the…"
"Kaname…"
"Shizuka, do not give me that tone. Nothing happened except my shower and sleep. This, despite the fact that you snore like a freight train…"
Shizuka's eyes rounded in horror.
"I do not!"
"You do. I can't tell which is worse, your snoring or the engine of an aircraft fighter. I'm glad I have experience sleeping just about anywhere. It's like we were made for each other."
"Yet, you were really exhausted last night. I suppose, then, that means your honeymoon must be going very well?"
Kaname noted the raised eyebrow, the smug look indicating the knowledge of a hit on this character. The teasing light in his eyes dimmed but not his affection.
"When has that attack ever worked, Mrs Hiou?"
Shizuka pressed her lips together in frustration and not a little embarrassment to be called out on her catty remark. She looked away to the edge of the bed, hoping to get up and away from him, resolving to put this unhappy episode behind her. Served her right for falling for a fascist. She consoled herself with the knowledge that she wouldn't be the wife committing suicide, or facing the firing squad, beside him when it all went to shit…
"Wait. Not yet…" he reached out to stop her.
"Kaname, I really must use the bathroom. And no, you can't come."
"Fine." Kaname feigned disappointment but reclined as Shizuka circumnavigated the room to the door. "I'll be here when you return."
Shizuka didn't respond but resolved to not return to the bed. She would have to start her day at this hour. Some coffee on the balcony, she thought, then she would make herself breakfast in an hour and a half.
After he left. After he went back to his wife.
SHIZUKA opened the door to the bathroom to the scent of cooking food and brewing coffee. Her mind did flit to the hope it was her housekeeper who had come in much earlier but then she heard the low familiar hum of an old folk song Kaname sometimes sang when he was in the mood to.
He was still here!?
At this point, before she could hide her startled visage, Kaname turned and saw her.
"There you are! I was beginning to think you'd fallen asleep in there. Again…"
"Kaname…"
"Come on. Sit down. I'm almost finished. Look, on my way home, I picked up some of those tiny sausages from the butcher near the estate."
Shizuka's eyes lit up at the mention of one of her favourite dishes and something from home. She forgot herself, coming over to where he stood plating the delicate but fragrant offering.
"I can't believe you…! Why didn't you tell me you were in the City?"
"I wanted it to be a surprise. Plus, I know… it's a sore subject."
Shizuka nodded, her excitement tempered by the memory of their loss.
"Thank you. I've been craving them…" She trailed off uncomfortably, frowning. Had she mentioned them during a call?
"Really? You know, you don't have to suffer like that. You just have to ask…"
"Did you visit the estate? I'll bet it's overgrown by now."
"There's no foliage near the bombing site as yet. A chemical they used has poisoned the land. But we're using the rest of it for produce. It's doing fine."
Shizuka didn't know if this was a lie or not but she wanted to believe it. She smiled gratefully and began to busy herself with laying the table near the balcony door. She couldn't very well throw him out now. Her face hardened, though, with her heart, as she remembered yesterday. Maybe after coffee…
Kaname waited until she had returned to help him with the meal before turning off the stove, wiping his greasy hands on a towel and hooking her into a kiss, pressing his body and her against the counter dividing the kitchen from the main living/dining area. She let him, swept away by his enthusiasm, sexiness, desire and lovely stillness of the early morning. It did feel like a dream. He was tall, warm and comforting. He moaned into her mouth as she finally returned the kiss and moved to lift her onto the counter to more comfortably make out with her but she stopped him.
"No…"
"Shizuka… it's been a long time since we 'second-based'…"
"Kaname, do I really need to remind you that you're on your honeymoon?"
"Yet, I'm here trying to get into your rose-printed panties. What does that tell you?" Dimples.
She mentally cursed as she looked away from them. It was then she noticed that there was barely anything under the apron, the warm expanse of his skin forming a stark temptation. He probably knew that. She frowned, though, as it became obvious it was the only thing he was wearing. He noticed.
"You got rid of all my things!" Kaname lamented to the woman who thought he was lucky she hadn't burnt them. "I don't even have a toothbrush. I had to use yours. And, your towels, razor and brush. I tried your robe and your underwear, but while I was, uh... very enthusiastic to get into something of yours, they became a little too small for comfort. Luckily, we both like when I go clothing-optional so…" At this point he gestured to his appetizingly unclad body.
Shizuka made an exasperated noise and shook her head. He thought he could just do whatever he wanted!
"It's your own fault. Admit it. You'll need to think at least two steps ahead when you wade into battle. Especially with me. Perhaps now you'll let me move back home?"
Shizuka shot him a look to instantly whither evergreens.
"No! You need to go live with your wife!"
"Agreed. So, I'm bringing back my belongings. And, you will like it."
"Whatever you say, Kaname." Shizuka retorted, pushing to separate from him. He resisted.
"I mean it."
"Fine! You are the one in charge, you know!"
"No, Mrs Hiou. We both know you are. Please, may I come home?" More dimples.
"Kaname!" Shizuka rolled her eyes and looked away. "Do what you want…"
He kissed her again, cupping her head, turning his to plunder her…
"No! Stop it!" she yelled when she finally parted their lips with a firm push.
"You'd said to…"
"I meant in terms of where you want to live!"
"You weren't clear. I'm still focused on getting us laid…"
"That will not happen."
"Yes, it will. This is what we do: I kiss you, you kiss me back. We make love and then you tell me that you want nothing to do with me. Then we kiss, make love again… we break up again… I see a pattern. Don't you?"
"That was before you… got… married!"
"Is that really why you're so angry?"
Shizuka gave a loud growl and the equivalent in shove against him. It worked. Kaname laughed and pivoted gracefully, going for the prepared dishes and heading towards the breakfast area, setting them out in the middle. He looked behind him when he realised she hadn't followed. He sighed and tossed his head in exasperation.
"It's another marriage of convenience, Shizuka. That's obvious, isn't it?"
"Does she know you're here with me, then?"
"I don't know. I don't care! I was miserable the entire evening without you. When it was finally over, I could only think of coming here. It didn't occur to me to question her on her knowledge my love life…"
"Get out."
"Shizuka…"
"No! Don't… touch me."
Kaname stopped in his tracks and waited. He watched as Shizuka's chest stopped heaving and she seemed to calm down. He then pulled a chair by a place setting and also waited. She eventually came over to him and sat down. He did the same after moving his place setting from the other end of the table to the one on her left. She thought to move but decided it would be childish and would delay matters. Instead, she placed the napkin and began to serve the meal.
"You'll have your hands full with Sara if you're not careful. You should go to her now. I can't believe you left your wife to sleep alone..."
"What are you trying to achieve by lecturing me like this, Shizuka?" Kaname asked, losing a little of his Zen to impatience. "Go ahead. Tell me. Or, are you just hoping that, if you repeat it often enough, you'll finally believe I belong to her and not to you?"
Shizuka looked for strength to the ceiling and the mural Kaname had let her keep.
"Kaname, be serious…"
"I am and you know it. That's why you're telling me about all these unimportant things while we're here together. While I'm trying to… have some time with you after being away for so long...
"Didn't you miss me? Me. At all?"
Shizuka, rather than respond to this last desperate and frustrated plea, frowned at it. It was a trick, an attempt to manipulate her, she was sure. She searched his face in suspicion for his true intent and garnered another kiss for her trouble. God, he was quick!
"Kaname!"
"Who?" He bent his head again but finding her lips turned, attacked her sensitive neck and ear instead with his lips and tongue.
"Kaname, stop… Mr Hiou!"
"Yes?" She was rewarded for finally using his "correct" name, lifting his head to look into her face with such intensity Shizuka looked away in embarrassment.
"We discussed this…"
"No, we didn't," Kaname countered, returning to his seat, retrieving his napkin from the floor and picking up his fork. "No, we didn't. While I was thousands of miles away, you told me it was over. I do not recall a discussion…" Kaname was supremely irritated – hurt – by the memory. It showed.
"Well, I'd explained why I couldn't do this…"
"Which makes no sense since we were already doing it. Do you really think your decision will make me forget how we are together or even… the way you were crying last night?"
"That was none of your business."
"Of course, it is, Shizuka!" Kaname did well to keep in the sausage he was masticating. "Anything that affects this family does. Including Sara."
He said this firmly, watching for her reaction. Sara steeled herself and waited him out. He sighed.
"You Kiriyuus are so aggravating! Is it really so lost on you all what I am capable of?"
"Are you threatening me?"
"Please," Kaname responded irritably, waving this away dismissively, sure they all really knew better than to use that old canard. "Unless you find breaking your walls of secrets threatening! I meant that everyone else in this world is willing to approach me on everything from garbage collection to chemical warfare and you all won't even consult me about…"
"Consult you, Mr Hiou?" Shizuka raged, this last heavy with sarcasm. "And you didn't even see fit to tell me about your marriage?"
Kaname listened carefully to what she was not saying.
"I didn't know that you knew her, Shizuka. I'm sorry I… didn't warn you. I was only thinking of getting my own back for what you'd said to me… like that…" Kaname trailed off as he again recalled the circumstances, his emotional upheaval at that pivotal moment. He forced himself away from the memory and back to her own pain, the memory of last night, finding her like that. "I'd been irrational enough to think I would only make you reconsider your... position, if I showed you that someone else actually wanted me. I didn't think… I didn't think."
"It doesn't matter…"
"Can we agree to not lie to each other when we're naked together like this?"
"You're the one that's naked, Kaname…"
"Tell me about her. Tell me everything. Including… what she did to you."
Shizuka met his eyes in concern before trying to stamp down her alarm. He wouldn't hurt her. He needs her. He was already registering her discomfiture, however, frowning as he downed his juice.
"Why… why don't you ask her?"
"I'm asking you," Kaname insisted firmly, quietly, his eyes boring into hers, becoming suspicious at her stalling. Shizuka shifted away from his gaze and tried for levity.
"If you care that much about the long past, I think the wife you're actually married to should explain! That reminds me, I didn't get a chance to offer my congratulations!"
Kaname reached for the bread, broke a piece and carefully buttered it. Shizuka realised he was trying to stay calm.
"So, you won't trust me with this secret either?" he asked at length.
Shizuka knew better than to be threatened by this utterance. She didn't know why. Maybe it was her sense of his hurt at being excluded, his confusion that she wouldn't let him help, his fear that he'd inflicted something on her so horrible she... wouldn't forgive him.
"Kaname, I..." Shizuka sighed in resignation. She set down her utensils and reached for the hand still very, very evenly spreading butter onto the piece of warm bread. He looked up into her eyes after a beat. He was worried. Maybe it was better to just come out with it.
Some of it.
"We went to school together, Kaname…"
"Which level?"
"Preparatory school and college."
Kaname nodded her on and relaxed, finally bringing the dairy encrusted morsel to his mouth. Shizuka realised she'd passed a crucial test. He knew…! But how much did he know? How much had Sara told him?
"Go on."
"We were classmates..."
"That's all?"
He was so close, watching her face. She realised belatedly, perhaps uncharitably, that she was essentially undergoing an interrogation.
"No. We eventually became roommates at the … University in the Channel Islands. Very venerated and prestigious. All the very best elites went there," she added drily.
Kaname nodded. Takuma had already mentioned it.
"There was a …"
"What? Tell me."
"We were competing for the attentions of the same person. The ensuing drama ended our friendship.
"Kaname," Shizuka tried again. "This is useless. It was a long time ago…"
"Was this Kiriyuu?"
"No. This was before him..."
"What did she do to you?"
Kaname was very still, watching her. He was invested in this tale. Hung on her every word. It was chilling but not for her sake…
"We were young, Kaname. You must know what it's like at that age. You think everything that doesn't go your way is the end of the world. Emotions ran high. After tears and ultimatums and one attempt to get someone expelled, eventually we all graduated, went our separate ways. I married a Kiriyuu, she embarked on the first of several advantageous matches with Lord Ichijo."
Kaname ignored the barb.
"Is that why you attacked her?"
"I didn't attack her…"
"You were trying to embarrass her, Shizuka. Why?"
"I don't… I'm ashamed of myself now. I was surprised to see her with you. It's been years but I… I didn't expect to see her darken my door again. That's all."
"Did she have something to do with what happened to Zero and Ichiru?"
"What?" Shizuka almost spilled her coffee. "Why would you think…?"
"I asked her about you. She mentioned knowing you from school. Vague stuff. But then she became very specific about the boys. About the scandal…"
"Lots of people knew, Kaname."
Kaname seemed to retreat into his thoughts at this, now sipping his coffee. He'd already long finished the meal and was sitting companionably with her as she ate. This was familiar to them, like a worn blanket, from their life thus-far together in this place.
Kaname, however, soon turned his head to watch her reaction as he finally spoke.
"She said you had been roommates in college and you've never forgiven her for stealing your boyfriend. She then went on to mention your 'unfortunate' marriage and asked me if I knew what had happened to your children."
Shizuka squeezed her eyes closed. That horrible woman…
"She then regaled me in detail about it all. Things I knew, things I didn't…"
"What of it, Kaname? What are you trying to say?"
Kaname reached out and cupped her face. Shizuka pulled away. She'd had enough of the both of them.
"There's something you're not telling me. Either of you. I know a bit about her and… a lot more about you. Your vague stories about your 'past' match too well. Like it had been rehearsed. Yet, this busy, self-centred woman was able to give chapter and verse about your marriage, the scandal, your husband's suicide… about how you'd come to her begging for help, but was turned away…"
Shizuka visibly reeled at this revelation before trying to get up, away, but Kaname caught her arm and held her, pulling her back down.
"I'm only saying this because I want you to know how far she went. What she wanted me to know about you. I want you to tell me your side now. Not that anything she said has changed my regard for you all. However, I don't understand why she knows so much about you and why she tried to use that knowledge to turn me against you. That suggests to me that… you've made an enemy of her. Far beyond what's warranted by some thirty-year-old rivalry..."
"Leave it alone, Kaname."
"I would if past was past. But, if she has followed you so closely, then it would have likely come to her attention your relationship to me when she agreed to do this. I have to believe that…"
"I'm hardly worth betraying whole countries for, Kaname. It was just a terrible coincidence. She had the power to give you what you wanted and you wanted to conquer by any means. She has an ambition to eclipse even yours and wanted to annihilate what she saw as competition and gain your confidence instead. I can see that much from where I stand in this ridiculous situation."
Kaname thought about this, running his thumb along the soft skin on her arm repeatedly as he did so. She refused to let his touch fog her reason…
"Just tell me the truth, Shizuka. You have my ear. Just say the word and… she will become my enemy too."
Shizuka inhaled lengthily to force some sense into her body.
"I don't know what is in Princess Sara's mind, Kaname. I just know she is smart enough to do her homework and is known for her ruthless focus on world domination. You both have a lot in common. I wouldn't dream of coming between you two."
Kaname pursed his lips. He appeared disappointed by her answer. Shizuka didn't care. Some things… were best left alone.
"Kaname, now that you are married, may I go home…?"
"No. Your home is with me," Kaname pronounced, retrieving his hand, intolerant of the constant requests to leave him. "And if, as you say, the past is past, then there is no reason to leave."
"Kaname, please. I'd prefer not to…"
"Shizuka, please, just… stay with me, support me, just a little while longer and… you'll want for nothing. I promise."
Kaname stood and began to clear their things, noting Shizuka's appetite had gone. Aside from asking him to save the rest of the sausages, she said nothing more as Kaname began to wash up, going instead to change from her nightgown and robe. Stay here? With them?
God…
Shizuka did feel her despair. It felt like the past was leaping up to assault her. Maybe, if she told him everything… No. She couldn't trust him not to make matters worse. If Sara was willing to put it behind her, maybe she could too.
She took her time to dress, at one point sitting on her bed and staring sightlessly at the windows for many minutes. She felt nervous and unhappy. She missed her sons. She had been allowed many freedoms in this place. But she was still surrounded by soldiers. She still jumped when there was a knock at the door…
"Shizuka?"
He was still here. Shizuka sighed, pulled on a soft pair of shoes she wore indoors and headed for the bedroom door, bracing herself to deal with him again. It took effort to remember. To do the opposite to what she longed to do: melt into his arms. There was pleasure, yes. And love. But then… it was followed by so much regret. Too much self-loathing. Too much... to live with.
"Yes, Kaname? What…?" Her words froze on her lips, her hand on the yanked doorknob.
God…
"My clothes… are in here. On the chair. May I?"
Shizuka tried to keep her eyes on his, refusing to acknowledge he was standing there without a stitch on. Refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing her…
Drown.
SHE WAS ON THE BED. She had no idea… Oh, yes. He'd lifted her. His face had been pressed to her stomach as he moaned loudly, taking her over to the bed and almost dropping her onto it. What had happened? She'd been strong and then… she had this sensation. Like a molten flush that had torn through her, making her throb. Her breasts and… lower. He'd lifted her, then. How did he know…?
"Kaname, I can't…"
He came up and kissed her then, removing his face from her stomach and… crotch. It felt so hot. Oh yes, he'd been inhaling her greedily through the material of her trousers… Shizuka soon found her hair loosened, one breast cupped possessively, her nipple brushed by one deliberate thumb. Her legs, which were usually pressed together as an antidote to his charms, were parted by one muscular thigh that imposed itself on her hot, throbbing…
Shizuka stuck her fingers into his hair, shoved her hand down his back possessively and held his mouth to hers, her tongue exploring his mouth, fencing with his tongue before sucking on its hungrily. Kaname groaned, the muscles in his arms bunching on either side of her shoulders as he tried for restraint. He wanted her. All of her, but he knew her limitations. What she needed as limitations. Still, he moved between her legs to grind his ripe erection against her, adding his intimate moisture to the beleaguered fabric and a long, thick temptation, an element of raw persuasion, to the mix. Despite the unfortunate ceilings in here, he wasn't a fucking saint…
"Kaname…!"
It was a plea. One that he would have moved heaven to heed except he was trying to save himself, having torn his lips away from her reckless kisses to kiss her neck, her ears instead, all while he finished unbuttoning her shirt. Shizuka arched wildly as one taunt nipple disappeared into his mouth, then shrunk away. She was so sensitive. A high pitch noise issued as he followed her to tenderly licked the roseate bud in apology. She stopped fighting and let him proceed, let him switch to the other jealous peak. All the while her hands, her legs and feet roamed his body; his shoulders, his hair, his back, his limbs. She felt ready to burst…
"Kaname…"
"Shhh, my love. My heart," Kaname whispered, trying to soothe her angst. "I have you. I'll take care of you."
He was familiar with her: her desires, her subtle perversions. At least, the ones that related to him. He'd already exploited the fact, ruthlessly, that she found his body both scary and exciting, a potent mix that translated to a searing lust. Now, he ventured lower, sliding his tongue over her heaving skin, the moist muscle's warm roughness eliciting goosebumps on sensitive skin. His brows knitted in exquisite torture as she moaned when he delicately fucked her navel, he curled impatiently but held himself in check when she wrapped her legs around him and ground herself into his chest. But it egged him on lower, sliding his left hand between her legs, along her searching crotch. She was so hot. He didn't even realise he'd moaned in his fog of delight, or when he'd undid her hot little peddle-pushers and pressed his lips to the thin silky material steeped in her personal fragrance. He'd missed her so much. He wanted her. He wanted to show her how much. So much it hurt…
Shizuka gasped as he pulled her trousers down her legs to her knees before disappearing beneath her. Soon she arched back, then hauled back, walking on her elbows, searching for relief, fisting the bedcover, biting it, moaning… His fingers had slipped under the almost negligible lacy barrier, rubbing her slippery secrets relentlessly. She shuddered then moaned as he held her knotted legs and stroked, yelled as the inevitable all built under his rapt attention. Then…
"Kaname!"
Kaname pounced then, his lips kissing the material over her tender throbbing apex before drawing it aside and attaching his lips to the engorged nub, drawing it hungrily into his mouth. A tortured groan flung from the depths of his tenuous control as her flavour flooded his senses, all while he teased then beat it audibly with his tongue, this ungentle adoration and his firm hold of her almost harshly communicating his unguarded avarice for her. She suddenly felt full, hot and thoroughly explored, her attention snatched to his agile workings, the warm rough muscle's hot rhythm as it slid lower and sampled then devoured every part of her. She'd tried to grab for him, his hair, trying to stop him, fearful he had gone too far, anxious to reserve some parts of her for herself! But she was smoothly thwarted, he even rolling her, switching his access, to adore everything she tried to protect from him. Soon, her body throbbed so deliciously it betrayed her. Especially knowing he was… everywhere he was… She started to yell his name. To tremble. To beg. Her fingers tightened again on his arm for a different reason. Her legs lost motor control but she managed to slide one bare foot down the middle of his back in unambiguous encouragement, her big toe curling into the cleft of his behind. She had learned her share of his secrets as well…
Shizuka turned her face towards the mattress, into the thick halo of her lose hair and moaned loudly. She felt so good… The fantastic pressure sent waves of pleasure so intense she was hypnotised in a singular focus on his tongue lapping at her body, her core throbbing as fingers stroked her insides at a point that made her greedy. Made her lose all sense of herself and live just for him; the next stroke of his fingers or tongue, the next breath on her thigh, the soft grunts as his own pleasure built to a crescendo, the quick darts of his gaze to watch her writhe and caress her breasts, all laid bare against the halo of her hair, his own fight against his loss of control as pre-orgasmic seizures overtook him. But he held on, staying with her until she clenched at his fingers and rolled again and again in the throes of toe-clenching delight.
He was determined to prove himself. Determined she would not want for anything or, anyone, else.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
Kaname grimaced and forced himself to focus on their conversation. Hitherto he'd been floating in a sea of bliss, his body completely satiated, covered in sweat, Shizuka's hair and her as she dozed on his chest, she only moving occasionally to loosen his arm around her shoulders. It was like he wanted to force her into him, she'd said.
Maybe she was right. He thought about it so often now: how to keep them together. At what point in his life would his nights not be spent consoling himself that they are safe in some far-off place away from him? When would there be an end to calls on bad lines amid desperate whispers of love? When would he have a normal life of his own?
He didn't think he would ever get tired in his retirement if he were lying here like this. Well, the last time had been different but then, they were new to making love so she'd been tracing his lips, becoming bolder with her exploration, her adoration, of him, his body, as they'd whispered to each other, having just exhausted comparing their scars. He'd won that, of course, but he did have reverence for her caesarean scar for obvious reasons, especially after hearing the story, it competing seriously in his mind with the hole in his leg from the warrior chieftain of the North Province that had nearly killed him after a hard-fought battle that eventually gain the support of half his country. He'd been rapt, listening to the recount of the hours of labour that produced a half a centimetre of dilation at which point she'd tried to grab the scalpel herself.
"So, they were both born stubborn." Kaname'd remarked, chuckling at her exasperated face, the memory landing her back in the traumatic situation.
"Their entire family is.
"You know… Aunt Sayori was there, too."
"Really?" he'd muttered. He was still disappointed that, each time he checked, she was still alive.
"Yes. She'd been wonderful through it all. It had taken a while… to conceive…"
Kaname had recalled, then, that she had been a scientist and her field, putting two and two together. His esteem for her rose from being tempted to shoot her himself to simply hoping nature would take its course. Then, in what he himself would admit was a strange mood, he'd sent a rare breed of rose-bush and an expensive package of tea with her last delivery of supplies. But said mood had passed quickly.
Kaname raised his hand to caress her hair soothingly before closing his eyes again, ignoring her questioning stare, willing her to settle, wanting to savour their contact, this peace, a while longer. This time, there had been far less chatter. They had both been rendered almost comatose from what had gone before. Still, he'd managed to respond to a question and she'd lifted her head to look at him for an answer. He did his best to fight the waves of regret that engulfed him. He could withstand the worse adversarial torture but give him a couple of spectacular orgasms with someone he loved and he was putty. He'd hoped to surprise them and her at the meeting he'd planned for next week at the Southern estate. That way, he could gauge their honest reaction. His strategy had now been blown to bits because of nookie. Fantastic nookie, but still…
"Kaname…!"
Kaname moaned. Maybe if he answered, she would calm down and…
"Not for a few weeks, though. The boys will come here for the first celebratory ball before we all go to our new home in the Channel Countries, when we will hold the second..."
"But… But what about our home here and at the estate…?"
"Shizuka, can't we talk about this lat…?"
"Kaname…" She was sitting up. Kaname jerked to attention then, moving to stop her. After so many weeks dreaming of this, it was cruel to abbreviate it.
"I'm sorry, honey. What were you saying?" He was sweet-talking to get her to return to him. He'd never felt so cold as when she'd separated from him. She gave him a bit of side-eye knowing this quite well, no doubt.
"What about our home, Kaname? We've all invested…"
"I know, I know. But I have to move up. We've spent enormous resources on this Front. Our people, the world, must see the results. I have to speak to you about it but not now…"
"But, Kaname…"
"I know you love this place. But you'll love … Palace as well."
"What?" Did he just say…?
"You heard me, Mrs Hiou," Kaname replied as he noted her folded arms and irate expression and declared defeat on getting her to return to his arms. He sat up and rubbed his face to rouse himself. "Whatever spat you had with Sara, will really pale in comparison to what will happen when you take over her home…" He felt a little spiteful in his disappointment, you see.
"Oh my God, Kaname! There is no way I'll even consider…! The Palace!" She was close to having a stroke, she was sure. If she thought this religious enclave was a handful and should have been left alone, what do you say to the fucking…!
"There really is a lot to speak about. I had hoped to do so when we visited the estate next week."
Kaname scooted to the edge of the bed, retrieved his clothing from last night and began to dress, pretending he didn't see her happiness at this last.
"We're going home… next week?"
Kaname couldn't help himself. He looked up to absorb her happy visage, marred though it was with the edges of homesickness.
"If you ask me nicely and use my name. Don't think I didn't notice you hadn't before. But I let it slide because, well… I was as invested in other things. But you should. It's the quickest way to get what you want."
"Is it, now?"
"Yes. It is." Kaname returned firmly and stubbornly.
Shizuka got to her knees and walked to the edge of the bed and reached for him, encircling him in her arms, pressing her body into his by now, finally clothed body. She still wore her panties and her shirt, if unbuttoned, and her breasts peaked enticingly from the opening. He noticed. He never thought he would find a woman with her clothes on this sexy…
"Mr Hiou?"
"Yes?"
"Mr Kaname Hiou?" Shizuka repeated, caressing her lips against his cheek, his throat. Kaname raised his hands to her slender waist. There were multiple forces working on his will to leave her and see to his other responsibilities. Damn, if it all didn't suddenly pale to being here with her.
"Yes, Mrs Shizuka Hiou?" he was relaxing into her arms, his eyes closed to fixate on the wonderful spell they were weaving, his face pressing into her neck, engulfed in the curtain of her hair. He had this urge to melt into her, his wife, again…
"Can we go home next week?"
"Yes. Your wish is my command," he rasped into her neck. Kaname's hands slid up to cup her breasts. He found he was ready for…
"Really? Do you mean that?"
Kaname exhaled in exasperation, rendered temporarily speechless by this question. He wished he could express how much it was true. How much they meant to him. That there wasn't much he wouldn't do to gain their approval. To make them happy to be here with him. Instead, he pulled her into his arms, no doubt trying to force her into him again. His communication returned with a frustrated grunt to indicate the affirmative into her neck.
Try me. Name it!
"Then... please let us stay behind at the estate while you go, Kaname. Don't you see? We'll never be happy in the Channel Countries like this..."
Kaname grimaced, then, as though in pain, and abruptly pulled away from her arms, turning away and running his fingers into his hair, gripping it, as he was assailed by some indefinably harsh emotion, definitely laced with disappointment as it surged within him.
Shizuka lowered her arms awkwardly before turning to find the rest of her clothing as he remained silent, taking the opportunity to get dressed as well. She felt the urge to apologise. She gave into it.
"Kaname, I'm sorry. I guess… I'm worried about the change. You're talking about uprooting us again and desecrating the monarchy. I'm worried about many things, including how the king or Princess Sara, the people, will react to…"
"None of them are in charge, Shizuka. I am," he managed, his throat tight. "You would do well to remember that when you speak to me like this…."
"Kaname, I'm just saying…"
"Whatever high regard you have for this monarchy or Sara should be long past. We fought hard. And won, to make it that way. Sara is nowhere near your equal as far as I'm concerned and as such, is absolutely unworthy of this fear you have of her. And, I swear, if I catch you again backing down from her the way you did yesterday, I'll solve the problem permanently…"
"Kaname, please, it's not this simple…!" Why was he being this thick?
"Of course, it is. It's no less than they afforded other nations in their much-vaunted history. Only now, they are the ones to surrender.
"Sara proposed the marriage, and I agreed, for political reasons. The citizens of these countries, by historical precedent, accept alliance by royal marriage more readily than conquest. We took advantage of that. That's all. In exchange, she gets to not be exiled with the king and becomes a saint to her people for ending the fighting. See? Simple!"
Shizuka had no illusions it was half that simple to someone like Sara.
"So, Sara knows about…us? And Yuuki?"
Kaname became far more impatient with this question, speaking through his teeth as he addressed it.
"She knows… what she needs to: that you all are indispensable to me. And Yuuki is more than capable of taking care of herself, Shizuka."
Kaname slung his jacket over his arm and marched to the door, but, before he grabbed the doorknob, he turned back to her stricken face. He calmed as he studied it, feeling another victory. He knew that if they would just give him a chance to, he would blow their minds with the things they would see, the power they could wield, through him. If Shizuka thought this enclave was wonderful, she would be ecstatic at the lands and holdings of the monarchy and government, all at her disposal. There were frigging paintings and carvings on the ceilings there too, if of a larger variety of themes than religious fervor…
"You'll be very busy in the coming months, Shizuka. But first, we'll celebrate: the Second Leader's marrying the Princess Regent and the end of the war with the Channel Countries."
Kaname, as he said this, approached her and dropped a kiss on her parted lips, she still visibly reeling from astonishment and not a little dread. He pressed her to his chest comfortingly, letting her feel his strength and support. He thought it sufficient that she had it. That they all did.
"Get some rest, Mrs Hiou. You'll need it.
"I'll see you later."
to be continued
lightpathetic wrote this but these are not my characters. They belong to Vampire Knight.
