Shirou kneads his forehead with one hand while his stare traces a path between the small blue pearl in his other, and Taiasu who had just handed it to him.

I wonder what other tricks this guy has up his sleeves… Wasn't he saying something else before he pulled out that shell? Something about a phone call?

"Taiasu, what were you saying before?" Shirou asks as he slips the small pearl into his pocket. "Something about a phone before you pulled that shell out?"

Taiasu's head tilts slightly as he pokes his chin. "Phone call…? Oh!" His eyes quickly widen and he snaps his fingers. "Right, I got distracted again…" His gaze drops, and he scuffs his foot again. "Sorry… I think if I hadn't brought out that shell, I'd have forgotten…"

He looks back up at Shirou with a bright smile and a sharp nod. "So I guess I'm not sorry I got distracted! That should be useful for us."

Shirou laughs awkwardly as he rubs the back of his head.

But at the rate he's going, he'll forget again…

"Okay, but can we talk about that phone call, please?"

"Right. The phone call… Tohsaka used what I guess was a phone and it let her talk to someone. We had to wait for a while. She seemed to get getting annoyed and—"

Saber leans her head and her eyes widen as he continues to jabber, and Shirou kneads his forehead.

"—And that was the third time she made me sit down. I guessed after that I should probably just wait for her to finish. It was really difficult, and I got super bored—"

"Taiasu, perhaps it would be better if you were to give us only the pertinent details?" Saber says with a calm smile.

If he goes on like this, the war may be over before he is finished.

"Huh? Details?" He looks up and glances between Shirou and Saber. Saber's face is a picture of calm composure, while Shirou's is tightly knit with impatient frustration. "Oh, sorry. Right. Tohsaka was standing there for a while. After she finished, she looked pretty annoyed, and said we'd have to find someplace else to make the coins money spendable."

Shirou groans out a frustrated sigh. "Of course… It was too good to be true, wasn't it…"

"Sorry, Emiya… Shirou…" Taiasu pokes the floor with his booted foot a few times. "I'll make it right, I promise."

"Shirou? Make what right?" Saber glances from Taiasu up to Shirou.

"Er… You know what a TV is, Saber? You said you'd been here before?"

She nods. "My Master did have one, and I have seen them, so I am aware."

"Well, I have… had… one. Apparently he's seen them, too." Shirou's head slumps forward as he points to Taiasu. "Only the ones he saw were evil or something, so when I turned mine on to show him what it was, he killed it with his sword."

"He destroyed your TV?" Saber glances back down at Taiasu again, whose hands are currently wringing so tightly it looks like he's trying to bring water out of them.

"It was an accident… Sort of." He drops his hands and looks from the floor to Saber. "But I'll fix it! I'll make it right! It's part of the reason I went with Tohsaka earlier… Right, we were talking about that."

He pokes the side of his head for a second, recalling where he'd left off. "I still needed to leave all the empty crystals I've been carrying around. Tohsaka brought me into her room and she showed me that—" He points to the chest at the door. "—chest. She popped it open, and told me to just start dumping in my crystals, so I did… and then this hand popped out and grabbed one."

"A hand?" Shirou's eyes widen.

This sounds like it's going to take a while…

He lowers himself and plops down on the floor, crossing his legs and resting his chin on his hands. Saber seats herself as well, in the same manner she'd been when Shirou saw her when he'd first entered the dojo. Taiasu glances between the two and drops the twenty-five centimeters necessary for him to become seated as well.

"Just a hand?" Shirou asks.

Taiasu laughs. "No, it was connected to a person. This older guy dressed in black with a short cape and a cane. He knew…" His gaze drops for a moment and he sighs. "I guess I'll tell you. He called me the 'Warrior of Light'. I'll tell you what that is, too."

Shirou's mouth, which had just opened to ask, clips closed, and Saber's continues to watch and listen quietly.

"Tohsaka asked too, so she already knows. Telling everything would take far too long, so I'll shorten it as much as I can."

The boy breathes a relieved sigh and half-laughs.

Oh, thank god.

"The world I'm from, Hydaelyn… It was formed by a sentient crystal of the same name."

"Sentient crystal?"

He looks up at Saber and nods. "Not like the ones I carry. This one is… megalithic. I've seen her only a handful of times. I can't even begin to describe her."

"Sorry, you keep calling it her? I thought it was a crystal?" Shirou says, raising his hand.

"She speaks with woman's voice, so… yeah."

"Ah… I see."

The crystal has an actual voice…? What is this, a Tolkien novel?

"She lives and has a consciousness. She's sort of the will of the world. During times of great turmoil, she selects people to champion her cause. Over five years ago, it happened before the fall of Dalamud…"

"What's Dalamud?"

Taiasu glances over at Shirou as he finishes his question. "One of the two moons of Hydaelyn. At least, it was before it fell. Getting into the details would take too long, so the shortest version is that one moon, Dalamud, was actually a prison for an enormous dragon called Bahamut. When the moon fell five years ago, Bahamut was released and wrought untold destruction in what would come to be known as the seventh umbral calamity."

Shirou's jaw drops as he tries to process what he's being told, and Saber's eyes widen considerably.

A dragon? His world has dragons…?

"Before that happened, several people were called by The Mothercrystal to be her chosen," Taiasu continues. "I wasn't one of them. I hadn't even started my life as an adventurer yet, but five years after the calamity, The Crystal, she called out to me. She never referred to me as the Warrior of Light, though. That was a title the people bestowed upon myself and those who came before me."

"What does she expect those she calls to do?" Saber asks.

"It depends on when they're called. I can't speak for everyone else. All I can say is what she asked me to do." His eyes slide closed. "She said that her light had grown dim, and that darkness was coming to end all life, and begged me to deliver everyone from this fate."

"Vague…" Shirou says, shaking his head.

Taiasu nods. "She was, yes. She spoke when I found a crystal different from the sort I generally find, and that there were several others that I needed to find. The journey to find them took me all across Eorzea and beyond."

"Eorzea?"

His eyes open and he glances over at Saber. "The largest known continent on Hydaelyn."

"But the way you describe it, it sounds like your work is finished?" Shirou says.

Taiasu shakes his head. "No. Not as long as the Ascians continue to scheme and plot to restore their god. If they win, we all lose…" His gaze drops, and his brow furrows into a tight knot in the center of his forehead. "That's why I'm glad that I came here. I don't know if Sobervre knows what he's talking about with this entire plot he has to steal your Holy Grail, but if he's going to try, then I'm going to stop him. So that's what the Warrior of Light, Hydaelyn's Chosen, is."

"You said the guy who popped out of the chest knew you were that?"

Taiasu nods. "Yeah…"

"How could he have known that?"

"I asked the same question. The answer was… unsettling."

Taiasu takes in a deep breath to steady his nerves before continuing. "So he came out and Tohsaka knew who he was after he said some stuff I didn't get. Apparently, this guy's name is Kischur Zelretch. She seemed pretty shaken."

Shirou's arms rest in his lap as he leans forward slightly, and Saber continues to watch and listen intently.

"He said he'd been observing my world for a while, and that's how he knew who I was. The reason he said he'd been able to observe my world had something to do with…" He frowns and rubs his forehead. "Big words. Something about a second sorcery, and parallel worlds, and streams of time… Then he said someone from my world had come to yours before."

"That's not so surprising," Shirou says. "I mean, if you're hear, then why wouldn't someone else be able to?"

Taiasu frowns. "Yeah… except that he made it sound like a big deal. I remember this part pretty vividly. He said it was sixty years ago, when this country was being forced into submission during the second world war."

Shirou's eyes widen. "The second world war?"

"Yeah… Tohsaka seemed a bit upset. The old guy said something about this country, and ley lines, and the interaction between the weapons and those ley lines… Then he said something else. That when that was happening here, someone or something in my world was basically attacking whatever separates our two worlds. The only thing I could think of was the Seventh Calamity that I was telling you about."

"Didn't you say that happened five years ago in your world?"

"Yeah… Tohsaka mentioned something about that, but the old guy said time moves differently between our two universes," he says, staring hard at the floor and tightly clenching his hands. "He said his best guess was when that was happening on my side, and whatever was happening over here was going on, someone, or multiple someones, used that to tear what separates our universes and move through that into your world."

"That sounds… plausible," Shirou says, staring at the floor. "I mean, I don't understand half of it, but—"

"If Kischur Zelretch believes this to be the case, it is likely he is not mistaken," Saber says coolly.

"Hold on. Saber, you know this Zelretch guy?" Shirou glances over at her.

"Not personally, but by reputation."

"After that, we talked about some other things, like how he gave the design for my pack to someone I know in my world." He pats his pack with tender affection. "Also, about the crystals and their uses… Then he said he wanted to start buying them."

"Wait, he wants to buy them? I thought you needed those to… like, not die?"

"Not those." Taiasu pulls out one of the lightless crystals. "These. He did some stuff with one of the smaller ones and then got excited and wrote some stuff down on a piece of paper and handed it to Tohsaka and then she got all excited."

"Wait, why to Tohsaka?"

"Because I'd agreed to give her all of those," Taiasu says, pointing at the crystal. "Since they're worthless to me, and since I owed her for Archer not killing me when we first met."

"Wait, what? Archer tried to kill you?"

He nods. "Yeah, I was following them after I got bored watching you move stuff around, and then they saw me and I wanted to introduce myself and it turned into a huge mess."

Shirou frowns.

Sorry for being boring…

"But after that, she gave me food and listened to me talk for a while, and then she used one of my crystals to set her yard on fire."

The dojo echoes with the sound of Shirou's head smacking into the floor as he falls backward in dramatic fashion. He sits back up and his eye twitches slightly.

I'll have to get her to explain that one to me…

Taiasu's head leans slightly. "You guy sure do that a lot. Anyway, she let me stay there, but you already knew that. We went to school, I fought Lancer, then Archer fought Lancer, then—"

His gaze drops like a stone.

I don't want to think about the rest…

"A-anyway… Sorry, I got off track. Because I said I'd let Tohsaka keep the crystals after she found a use for them, she'll be the one that guy is dealing with."

"Great for her, but if he's buying them from her, we're still going to need to get your coins turned into something we can spend," Shirou grumbles, staring at the floor. "I think you're going to be running up a serious amount of collateral damage."

"I thought that too, about the coins, but then Tohsaka said she'd share what she gets from the crystals with me."

Shirou looks up from the floor and blinks a few times. "Sh-she said that?"

Taiasu stares at the floor and pulls at his gloved fingers. "Yeah… I feel uncomfortable about it, but she said it would tip the scales too much for her to just take them all and sell them."

Shirou smiles slightly. "Hmm… Maybe she's a better person than I thought?"

"Shirou, I do not think your opinion of Rin accurately reflects reality," Saber says, glancing over at him.

"Huh? I haven't said anything about her for you to say something like that, Saber."

Her eyes widen. "Shirou, were you not aware? Servants and Masters share an empathic link. I am aware of what you are feeling in many cases."

"You're… aware?" Shirou's face bursts into flames. Almost. "T-Then… you know e-everything I'm thinking and…" He swallows against the concrete lump forming in his throat. "F-Feeling?"

"Not everything. Surface level feelings and thoughts are most clear, and particularly feelings of animosity or enmity. It is how I can know if you are in a dangerous situation and require my aid."

Shirou heaves a tremendously relieved sigh and falls on his back.

Oh, thank god…

'Hey! Do you know how hard it is for me to focus on getting my room straight with all of your yammering bouncing around in my head!?'

Shirou snaps upright and his gaze darts around the empty dojo. "T-Tohsaka…?"

'The pearl, idiot!'

'Tohsaka, if it's a problem you can always just set it down someplace.'

'Set it… down. Of course. You should teach a class, Taiasu.'

Shirou sighs and looks over at Saber, shaking his head. "I guess we'll just have to see if your opinion of her bears out, Saber. But if she's willing to share what she gets from those crystals with Taiasu, that will be a big help."

"And I can replace your TV… Sorry for that again," he mumbles the last part, poking the floor with his finger. Then his eyes widen and he scoots to face Shirou. "Hey, that reminds me—before, you were saying something? About a show?"

"Huh? A show?" Shirou's head shifts slightly to one side.

"Yeah, something you said your father used to watch before I, er…" He stares hard at the floor. "When I was telling you about my memory problems?"

"Huh…?"

Show? Memory problems? What's he—!

His eyes snap wide, and he smacks his fist into his hand.

"Oh, yeah! Right, I remember now. Yeah, it was this older show from the United States about this guy who was bouncing around in time. One of the major points in the story was how the process was scrambling his brain, making him forget really important stuff in his life," Shirou says, nodding. "One episode even revealed he'd been married the entire time. Kiritsugu, my father, he really liked it."

Saber's eyes widen, and she casts a sidelong glance at Shirou.

Kiritsugu…? That Kiritsugu?

"Sounds… interesting, but why would my memory problems make you think of that?"

"Well, I know it's fiction, but until a few days ago people from other universes coming to this world was fiction too…" Shirou shakes his head. "Er, anyway… I was thinking of bouncing around in time, could scramble a guy's brain, maybe being shoved from one universe to another could do something similar…?"

Taiasu's eyes widen and his mouth hangs slightly. "That… doesn't sound that far-fetched…" His mouth slips closed, and he stares at the floor again, holding his head between his hands. "It doesn't help much, but it is nice to have some idea…"

The sound of Tohsaka's flats echo softly through the dojo as she takes a few brisk steps in. "Got the room all set. Taiasu, can you grab that for me, please?" She points at the chest.

He nods and stands up, stretching his arms and then leaning backward, stretching his back. "Alright, stupid chest… Round two."

Saber stands up as well. "Shirou, could you please show me to my room as well? There are some other things I would like to discuss with you."

He stands and nods as well. "We'll get the door and the lights on our way… out…?"

His voice trails off as he glances down and watches Taiasu heft the chest over his head, disappearing under it and giving the illusion of a chest with legs, forcing him to choke back a surprised laugh. The ambulatory chest trots its way out of the dojo behind Tohsaka.


"Right there is fine," Tohsaka points to a spot with her foot, and Taiasu lets the chest down with another gentle thump and then takes a glance around.

"Hey this is where I woke up, right?"

She nods. "I just made it more my space."

The red tote she'd carried her things with is on the floor near the head of the bed. The desk with the clock has a couple mortar and pestle sets, a few vials with fluids of varying colors standing in a rack, some opaque colored bottles, and several books, most of which have various tags coming off of the pages, and the small blue pearl he'd given her earlier that day. The wall behind the desk has some papers affixed to it, both covered in various notes, and several more books sit on the floor in a stack, also with several tags sticking to various pages. The chest sits beside the wall next to the desk, and the two bladed chakram rest on the floor at the foot of the bed.

"It's rude to stare so much," Tohsaka says after a few minutes of his staring around.

"Oh, sorry… It's just really different."

"It's fine, just try to pay more attention. Let's get the rest of those crystals out and into this chest." She pops it open and then looks down at him. "Just be careful not to drop it in. I don't want to have to deal with that."

He nods, and slides the chair from the desk over to the chest, climbs into it, stands on the seat, and inverts his pack over the chest and watches as an impossible number of lightless crystals pour into the chest. Despite being filled with over two thousand exhausted crystals by the time the last one drops into the chest, not a single one falls outside.

"Jeez… That's so weird…" he says, rubbing his forehead.

"Hold off on the smaller ones. I want to keep those for myself," she says as she glances down into the chest. "Huh…?" A piece of paper in the chest catches her eye, and she reaches down and takes it up to examine it.

Taiasu hops down from the chair. "What's that?"

"A receipt. Seems Kischur made good on what he said… There'll be enough here to more than pay for that TV you broke, and whatever else we need."

She folds the paper and leaves it on the desk before glancing down. Her head tilts on seeing his expression; him staring hard at the floor with a soft frown.

"What's wrong?"

He shakes his head. "Just… I still don't feel good about taking that from you."

"Why are you so hung up on that? I said it's fine, right?"

His hands clench tightly for a second and his frown deepens. "I don't… I don't know, okay? It just feels wrong to me. I gave those to you, so they're yours, right? It doesn't feel right… I just like things to be… equal. I didn't do anything for those to be mine now, and I gave them to you because you could use them, and I owed you…"

She smiles and nods. "You're right. You did give them to me. That makes them mine, right?"

He looks up at her and nods. "Yeah, so then—"

"If they're mine, that means I can do what I want with them, right?"

"Ah… Yeah, but—"

She leans down and tweaks his nose, causing him to stumble back a step. "I'm giving some of that to you because I want to. So let me do what I want with my stuff, alright?"

"Gh…" He turns his head and frowns before letting out a sigh. His mouth turns up in a soft smile and he nods. "Fine… I get it. Sorry for being weird."

She laughs. "If you apologized for every time you were weird, it's all you'd ever say."

"Hey, that's kind of rude…" His words suggest annoyance, but he plays it off with a smirk.


"Here. This is my room." Shirou slides the door to his sparsely furnished room open.

Saber glances around and her eyes grow wide. "This…? This is your room?"

He leans his head. "Yeah…? I mean, there shouldn't be anything here too surprising, right?"

Her mouth drops slightly. "No, but that is only because there is nothing here. This is really your room?"

"Well… Yeah. I mean, all I do is sleep here, so there wouldn't be a need for anything else, right?"

"I suppose… I was expecting more here, so to see so little was surprising…" She sees herself in and softly places her hand on the wall to the room, checking the feel of it. "That is a relief. This room has little, but it has been treated well. The feeling I get from it is a calming warmth."

Shirou shrugs. "I guess? It must be how the house is built since it's cool during the summer and warm during the winter. My father always said I took the best room."

Saber smiles softly. "Yes, the room tends to reflect its owner. I was concerned when I saw it, but it seems my concern was unwarranted."

"Okay…?"

Weird…

"So what was it you wanted to talk with me about?"

"A few things. Before that, I would ask you keep these in confidence."

"You want me to keep them a secret?" Shirou sits on the barren floor, crossing his legs. "I mean, I'm okay with it, I guess. So what is it? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?"

She sits across from him in her usual way and her expression becomes serious. "The first few are bad. At the very least, I do not want the other Masters finding out about them."

He nods. "Okay… I'll listen, so please go ahead."

She stares at him sharply and begins to speak in a serious tone. "In the first instance, I must ask for your understanding in that I am unable to accomplish a Servant's first obligation."

"… Okay? Can you explain?"

She nods. "I cannot disclose to you my identity. You heard from Rin? About how we have to keep such things secret?"

"Your identity?" He leans his head toward his shoulder for a moment before it springs back. "Oh… you mean your name… I mean, It's not a big deal for me, but can I ask why?"

Her tense expression relaxes slightly, and she gives a small sigh. "I believe it is our best approach. Whatever you may try to do to hide that knowledge, there are many ways for it to be taken from you. Lacking as you are in magical resistances, someone could simply reach into your mind and take it, for one." She wears a small, sad frown. "It would be best if the information was not there for them to take."

"Ah… I see," he says, sighing. "So like a wallet with no money, they can dig around, but all they'll find is useless things. That's probably a good idea."

"I am relieved you agree," she says. Her expression turns sad for a second. "Though I am not someone so well renowned. Likely, I am a less well known than Berserker, if he is who Rin believes him to be. Having my identity revealed would likely not be a significant problem."

"Are you sure?" Shirou asks. "I mean, he's big, but you could stand against him even after he sent you flying, and that was after that weird jerk in the cloak did whatever it was. You shouldn't count that fight, if you're comparing yourself to him."

Saber's expression relaxes again. "That is true. If that man had not interfered, the battle would likely have been more even."

Shirou nods with a slight yawn. "Sorry… still a bit tired, I guess. So that's the first issue. What else did you want to ask me about?"

Her expression becomes slightly sad and uncomfortable. "That is… I am concerned about my presence being a source of discomfort for you."

"Huh…? Discomfort?"

She nods. "You seemed quite adamant during our discussion about my living arrangements. And what Rin said seemed to be a source of great agitation for you."

"What Tohsaka—"

She means that…

He palms his face as it turns a few shades of red. "Damn her…"

She turns her stare directly to his eyes, and his face heats up even further.

"Is it truly such a problem for us to share a room?"

"Kh… Saber…"

Damn it, I can't even look at her like this…

His gaze hits the floor like a stone. "Okay, stupid… just breathe… You're a man, so say it like a man…"

"Shirou?" He looks up to see her head leaning slightly.

"Ah, sorry… Just… trying to calm myself down." He takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "The problem is that you're too p… I mean, you're really beau… Kh… Damn it…" He grinds his temples with his knuckles. "It's because you're too beautiful, okay?!" he finally blurts out as his face red-shifts so hard it suggests space is being bent. "I couldn't sleep if you were in the same room!"

Her face turns a few subtle shades of red. "It is… for that reason?"

He nods silently, burying his face in his hands as steam pours off of it. "I'm a guy, so I think about that sort of thing a lot… and I couldn't keep a level head if I had to share a room with someone like you like that."

"So you are saying… you would not desire such a thing to happen between us?" Saber's voice carries a note of sadness, and Shirou's hands drop as his eyes grow huge.

His hands drop, and he observes her sincere expression. "Wh-what are you even saying? There's a proper order to things, and we haven't even come to the starting line to be having that sort of discussion!"

Saber shakes her head softly. "That is untrue, Shirou. Sexual relations between a Master and a Servant can serve a very practical function."

His face shatters from the force and bluntness of her words as his brain scrambles to figure out how to process the words his ears are conveying to it. The only response he can flatly deliver is a simple, single syllable four-letter word.

"… What."

"You do not know?" The redness in her face subsides slightly. "The sexual emissions from a male magus contain an amount of magical energy sufficient to empower a Servant, should they receive it."

"… What?" He shakes his head violently. "No, no way. Tohsaka's putting weird thoughts into your head…" He launches himself to his feet. "We need to clear this up right now. Come on, Saber." He grabs her hand and storms out of the room.

It's not like I don't think about that stuff, but there's a proper order, and that woman is trying to make this weird. I'll have her clear this up.

"Wait, Shirou…!" Saber protests briefly as he pulls her along behind him.


"Hey, that's kind of rude."

Taiasu's muffled voice comes from behind the door in front of which Shirou stands with an uncomfortable, fidgeting Saber standing behind him. He bangs on the door twice, hard. "Tohsaka, open up!"

"Huh? Shirou?" The door opens and Tohsaka stands behind it. He pushes past her, dragging Saber alongside him.

"What is this nonsense you've…?" In the middle of his complaint, he stares around the room and his voice trails.

What did she…? She just made herself right at home—oh, forget it. This is more important!

"What nonsense have you been putting into Saber's head!?"

Not quite yelling, but definitely louder than a casually conversational tone.

Tohsaka leans her head a bit. "What are you talking about?"

"Shirou, please…" Saber protests again, but he proceeds forward with his accusations undeterred.

"She's telling me weird things like if we… I mean, something about a magus…"

Damn it!

He clenches his jaw and grinds his teeth. "She's saying if we have sex, she'll get stronger!"

Taiasu's head slams into the ground as he falls back out of his chair. Tohsaka's eyes widen and her mouth drops a bit, and Saber turns several more shades of red.

"What is this crap you've been telling her? I know you told her something in the dojo, so what is this garbage Even practical jokes have to have a limit—"

Tohsaka tilts her head slightly. "Huh? I didn't tell her anything like that."

"You did! I know you did. What else would you have been saying to her!?"

She watches him with her practiced, composed smile on her face. "Just why you didn't want to share the same room, right?"

"B-but then why would she be saying something like—"

"Because it's true." Tohsaka says, her eyes returning to normal. "You didn't know?"

"Wh-wh-wh-what?!" He glares at her, but she returns his stare unperturbed and nods.

"Oh. I see…" She smirks and her eyes narrow playfully.

Oh, this is going to be a lot of fun.

"No, I imagine you wouldn't know…" She glances down at Taiasu as well, whose expression is a homogeneous mixture of discomfort, curiosity, and embarrassment, and her smirk becomes a full-on grin for a moment before she adopts her standard lecturer's stance.

"Transference of magical energy by sex is a common practice. Semen produced by magus contains a reasonable quantity of magical energy. Even poor magus use it as a means of living by selling it to the Mage's Association."

"Bluh…" Taiasu's face goes pale. "Ghu… that's… awful."

She grins down at Taiasu. "Oh, sorry. I forgot you were a prude."

He glares at her. "I'm NOT!" he yells as he stomps his bare foot on the wood floor.

Shirou's grip on Saber's arm relaxes slightly as his entire expression falls like a house of cards. "W-wait… Tohsaka… You're joking, right? You're not serious!"

"Of course I'm serious. I wouldn't joke about something like this," she says, tossing her hair back. "If you'd been properly trained as a magus, you'd understand."

"Kh… gh… damn it… I… you…" He manages little more than inarticulate utterances as his face returns to space-bending levels of redness.

Tohsaka smirks again. "Honestly, I thought this was something even the novices among the novices knew." Her satisfied smirk dip. "Though it shouldn't be necessary for Saber. She's plenty strong enough as it is, even without whatever she might gain from you two having sex."

"T-T-Tohsaka!" He drops Saber's hand and buries his face behind both of his.

"Wait, Shirou… Do you not want to have sex with Saber?"

His jaw hits the floor while he still stands upright.

"I-I never said—"

"So you do?" She grins. "Then what's the problem?"

His mouth flaps a few times and inarticulate gurgling noises are all he's able to produce.

"Rin, please stop." Saber says plaintively. "It is not fair to him for you to exploit his lack of knowledge in such a way."

"Hm…" Tohsaka's grin cools off a bit. "Well, it's like I said, it shouldn't be necessary. Though it could be good to keep in mind if she has to use her Noble Phantasm."

She sighs and shakes her head. "Honestly, it would probably be better if you guys just did it so you could be more comfortable around each other."

Shirou's psyche finally shatters like brittle porcelain. "Saber… let me show you where you'll be sleeping tonight…" he says in a flat monotone as he mechanically turns around and starts walking toward his room.

Evil… evil… woman…

Saber's head hangs as she turns to follow his defeated, shuffling footsteps.

Still grinning, Tohsaka shrugs and turns around, then glancing down at Taiasu, who she half-expects to be rocking in the fetal position. Rather than that, his expression is completely blank, though his face is still quite red.

"That was pretty mean…" he mumbles.

She shrugs. "You too? Nothing I said was a lie. I think it could be good for them if they did it. At least, it would help their chances in this war…" She bites her lower lip after a second of contemplation. "Though if they did, it would probably hurt my chances… Maybe I said too much?"