An Educated Guess – Sequel to Jane Rizzoli: A Case Study
Chapter Two – Whispers and Shuddering
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: The Rizzoli clan all head up to Quebec to spend Christmas at Maura's family cabin. The intention was to spend the weekend having a nice family vacation, but when a blizzard hits and snows them in, Jane and Maura are forced to curb the impulses of their budding romance and "bunk it" with Angela and the boys. Meanwhile, Maura is sure that Jane is hiding something from her, but she can't seem to muster the courage to confront her about it. Instead, she tries to piece things together using careful examination. After collecting plenty of evidence, she's almost ready to make an educated guess. But what if she's wrong? Established Rizzles. Lots and LOTS of fluff, a bit of angst, and a good helping of smut.
Warnings: The following fic is rated MA (NC-17) for language and sexual situations. Readers be warned.
Maura lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. She wasn't particularly tired, but she couldn't stand the anxious feeling that had been growing in her chest since dinner. She stretched out on the king size bed, trying to find a comfortable position. But no matter how luxurious the bed might be, it felt strange without Jane there. It felt empty, cold without her wrapped around her, silent without the sound of her breathing.
The past two weeks had been busier than ever, but every night she had fallen asleep in Jane's arms. It was better than she could have ever imagined. Still, she had expected the novelty to wear off, to find Jane's tossing and turning, her snoring, her needy cuddling to be annoying. Now she wondered if she'd be able to find any rest without it.
"Hey…" Jane's whisper came from the doorway. "You asleep?"
"No," Maura sighed, turning over. She saw Jane's silhouette move to her side of the bed.
Jane sat down on the bed next to her. "What's wrong, Maur'?"
"I'm fine…"
"Babe," Jane said, her hand on Maura's cheek, "I'm your best friend, remember? I know you."
Maura placed her hand on Jane's. She tried to catch those beautiful eyes in the dark, but she could barely make out the furrow on Jane's brow. Her heart ached. How am I so easily filled with doubt? she thought to herself.
"Is this about Ma's question?" Jane said, her voice a bit unsteady. "About grandchildren?"
The honey blond didn't want to admit her fears. If she did, things could get awkward, feelings could get hurt. She didn't want that, especially on Christmas Eve. Is it too soon? Maura thought, we've only been in a romantic relationship for a few weeks. Is that why she—
"Maura," Jane insisted, "you know I want children with you, right?"
"It's just …" Maura tried, she wished she could see Jane's eyes as she admitted, "you hesitated."
Jane leaned over, pressing her forehead against Maura's. She tucked the hair behind her ear, "Maura, I love you. You know this."
Maura slipped her hands around Jane's neck, "And I love you ... but that doesn't mean we will always want the same things."
The brunette shifted over her, slipping under the blankets. In the faint moonlight, Maura could almost make out the movement of Jane's dark eyes searching hers.
"I want everything with you…" Jane breathed, pressing her lips to Maura's.
Maura shuddered at the gentleness of the kiss. The brunette spread her fingers into Maura's hair as she breathed tremulously through her nose. She slowly swiped her tongue across Maura's lips. The honey blond felt her chest tighten as Jane pressed her body close. Maura broke the kiss.
"Talk to me, please…" Jane whispered, running her fingers through Maura's hair. "What's going on in that head of yours?"
"Why?" Maura tried.
"Because I need you to talk to me."
"No … why did you hesitate?"
"Maura," Jane insisted, tucking golden locks behind her ear, "you know how I feel about my mother's meddling."
"Yes, but—"
Jane interrupted her, "Besides, why wouldn't I want to help bring little Mauras into the world?"
The honey blond couldn't help but grin, "Who says I would be the one to carry?"
Jane paused for a beat.
"Jane," Maura whispered reverently, tucking the hair behind her ear lovingly, "you would be so beautiful pregnant."
After another beat, Jane laughed, "But can you imagine little Janes running rampant around our house?"
"A child's temperament is as much developmental psychology as it is biology," Maura pointed out. "With you as their mother, our children would be unruly either way."
Again, Jane was silent. Maura could feel her soft breathing but could barely make out the features of her face.
"Jane?" she said worriedly.
"Our children…" Jane repeated breathlessly.
"Yes," Maura laughed, "that's the idea."
"It's just …" Jane struggled, "'our children.' Talk like this used to make me so uncomfortable…"
"But now?"
Jane was quiet for a long time. She only spoke as Maura tucked the raven locks behind her ear. Her voice was soft, wavering, "Isn't it too soon, Maur'?"
"Too soon for what?" Maura asked, running her fingers through Jane's hair and around her ear, trying to comfort her apparent anxiety.
"Talking about marriage and babies. You know, serious relationship stuff?"
"Is there some sort of time restraint?"
"You know what I mean, Maura. We've only been dating for a few weeks. Isn't it all a bit stereotypical?"
"Stereotypical?"
Jane sighed exasperatedly, resting her head on Maura's chest. Maura frowned, playing with Jane's hair as she tried to figure out what she meant. The honey blond had the feeling there was something Jane was trying to say that she couldn't understand. They laid like that for a long time, Jane with her head on Maura's chest, Maura playing lazily with Jane's hair. After a while, Maura started to wonder if Jane had fallen asleep, but then she sighed again.
"Jane?" Maura whispered.
"Yeah?" Jane breathed.
"How long should it take?"
"Take until what?"
"How long before it's okay to talk about 'marriage and babies'?"
"I don't know … I guess it depends ... "
Maura was quiet as she considered Jane's behavior that evening. It still made no sense why Jane thought it was too soon for 'serious relationship stuff.' It wasn't like they hadn't discussed these things before. Of course, that was before they had started a romantic relationship.
"Jane?" Maura said cautiously.
"Yeah?" Jane said, her voice soft, sleepy.
"How long were you in love with me? You know … before you and I figured it out?"
Jane did not immediately respond, making Maura wonder again if she had fallen asleep.
"I don't know …" she finally replied, "years maybe. It surprises me now how obvious it should have been."
"And I've loved you at least as long…"
"Yeah?"
"Well, doesn't that count?"
"Count?" Jane said, raising her head.
"All that time we were in love, but we didn't know. Does that not count towards the time requirement?"
Jane chuckled, "It's not like there are official guidelines, Maur'."
"But you know what I mean," Maura insisted. "We've talked about all of these things before, haven't we? Just in a different context? Before we knew?"
"Knew what?"
"That we've always been planning our lives together," Maura laughed, realizing the truth as she said it. She wished she could see Jane's eyes as she thought, Maybe you and I really were inevitable.
Again, Jane was quiet. Finally, very softly, reluctantly, Jane whispered, "Maybe…"
Jane fell asleep shortly after—Maura could tell by the change in her breathing. The position was unusual for her; she had grown accustomed to falling asleep with Jane curled against her back, her arm squeezing her close. But Jane had seemed so insecure as they had talked; it was no wonder she had fallen asleep that way, cradled against her, just as she had the night that they had first made love.
Maura listened to the sound of Jane's light snoring as she thought about the past few weeks. That first night together wasn't even a month ago, but Maura had never been more certain. Jane was it—she was the one she wanted for the rest of her life. The only other person who she had felt that way about was Ian. But he had never been her best friend. His family had never been her family like Jane's was hers.
And Maura could not imagine her life without Jane. She didn't want to. In fact, she couldn't stop imagining how their life would only be that much better. Getting married. Being a mother—Jane as a mother. Raising their children. How could those thoughts bring her anything other than joy? And why shouldn't she think about them, no matter how recently their romantic relationship had started?
Where's that confidence from before? Maura wondered. She's seemed so sure of things until recently. Is it this family vacation? Angela pressuring us to move forward with our relationship?
The honey blond grew sleepy as she considered Jane's behavior. Everything about Jane seemed so unpredictable now. She used to think she had the detective all figured out. But that was before—before they finally admitted their feelings. Could Jane have been hiding more than just her romantic feelings?
That can't be true, Maura thought, if anything, Jane has been more honest with me since we started a sexual relationship. She's been more honest with herself, too. I can feel it when we make love—but that doesn't make sense. I can't "feel" her thoughts.
Maura shifted uneasily causing the brunette to mumble something and tug at Maura's side.
Jane sighed, "I love you."
Maura kissed Jane's forehead, "I love you too."
When Maura opened her eyes the next morning, the daylight was just reaching the mountains outside the window. The house was quiet. The honey blond opened her eyes to see the pale blue light of the early morning filling the sky. There was fresh snow on the evergreen pines across the yard, which explained the eerie stillness.
Jane was pressed against her back in her usual position. Her arm rest lazily on Maura's waist. Her warmth radiated under the blankets, creating a cozy haven against the chill of the bedroom. Maura savored the moment, wondering if she would ever get used to the almost dreamlike feeling she had when she awoke next to her best friend this way.
The brunette stirred, groaning, as she customarily did. She tugged at Maura's hip, making Maura's stomach flutter—a feeling she had also assumed would fade with time. She sighed, her belly tensing as Jane's grip tightened needily.
"Good morning," Maura said softly, shuddering as Jane kissed her shoulder.
"Merry Christmas," Jane muttered as she moved her palm across Maura's belly.
"Merry Christmas," Maura echoed, distracted by Jane's purposeful dance of fingers under her pajama blouse.
That coil low in Maura's belly constricted quickly as Jane muttered in her ear, her voice low and gravelly, "I missed you."
Maura knew what Jane meant, but she longed to hear her say it out loud, "We've barely spent any time apart, even at work." She bit her lip as Jane's fingers reached the underside of her breast.
"You know what I mean, baby," Jane rasped. "I've missed your body."
Maura shivered as Jane squeezed her breast as she bit her shoulder softly. The honey blond felt moisture pooling between her legs as Jane pressed her thigh between hers. The growing desire for pressure on her sex made Maura cant her hips backwards, but the movement was futile. She would get no relief unless Jane decided to touch her sex with her fingers.
"Jane," Maura whimpered lightly as the brunette rolled her nipple between her fingers. She reached behind her to grasp desperately at Jane's hair.
Embraces like this had happened a few times in the past couple weeks, but to no avail. They always seemed to be interrupted. Either a call from the BPD or the third snooze on the alarm would force them both to go to work distracted and unsatisfied. It got so unbearable one day that Maura almost allowed Jane to touch her at work. Thankfully—or embarrassingly—Susie had interrupted with a DNA test result.
Now, though, they had the next two days off. Two glorious days that Maura had been daydreaming about on the car ride yesterday. A weekend of touching and tasting she had blushingly imagined as Jane had repeatedly glanced at her from the rearview mirror—as Maura sat next to Tommy, with Angela and Frankie nearby as well.
"You have to be quiet," Jane muttered in her ear as she moved her fingers under her panty line.
Maura squeezed Jane's raven curls between her fingers as Jane coated her fingers in her arousal. She shakily moaned, "J—Jane, we both k—know you-'re the loud one."
To be continued
