A/N
Chapters 29 - 31 all posted today. :-)
Cam,
I heard you were the one to find Kahoku. Most of that report is above my clearance, so I don't know the details. All I know is that it was natural causes. Not sure what he was doing so far outside Alliance space that you crossed paths with him. That's a hell of time to have an aneurysm. But, in a way, I'm glad you were there. At least you can bring home a body for Sarita and the kids – give them some closure.
I don't know if you knew this, but he and your father served together on the Trafalgar. Kahoku's favorite drink was a bourbon, neat. If you get a chance to raise a glass to him, please raise a second one on behalf of your dad.
Love,
your mother, XO Hannah
Message received.
Sol,
Shepard had us all toast the dead admiral they found on Binthu today. I was just getting off my sleep shift, along with Joker, Ashley and Tali. I was trying to roll out the kinks in my neck (I swear, curling into those human-sized pods is probably doing permanent damage) and was chatting with Tali about the algorithms she was using to optimize the Normandy's IES as we made our way towards the elevator. The tanatalus's original engineers were all turians, of course, so Tali was struggling to parse some of the coding logic. I was starting to explain some of the peculiarities of the coding when the doors to Shepard's quarters slid open and she came barreling out. She was holding a bottle filled with a colourless liquid.
She glanced down the corridor at those of us emerging from the pods. Her face was tense. All it took was a slight jerk of her head for all of us to follow her to the mess table, where she set the bottle down with a decisive bang. Kaiden looked up from his terminal: his eyes met mine. I could only shrug.
Shepard pulled out glasses from the compartments under the table and started pouring shots of whatever was in the bottle. She still hadn't said a word. The rest of us hadn't, either. Dr. Chakwas emerged from the med bay, but stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw the group of us around the table.
While Shepard uncorked the bottle and began pouring the liquid, Chakwas re-entered the med bay and came back out with Liara in tow. Liara pushed through some of the Alliance crew members and stood at Shepard's side: her sky-blue eyes searched for Shepard's oceanic ones, but Shepard looked only at the glasses she was arraying around her. She started sliding the glasses around the table to each person. There were about six Alliance personnel, plus Dr. Chakwas, Joker, Liara, Tali, and myself. Joker muttered something to the comm officer beside him, who smiled, and a few people exchanged words again. Liara leaned closer to Shepard – I saw Shepard's fingers brush over hers, briefly.
Tali and I picked up the glasses in front of us. The stench of the liquid instead turned my stomach – though, admittedly, it wasn't as bad as ryncol. Human alcohol smells like a fuel leak to me. Ryncol summons up a more biological kind of smell. Like rotting meat.
"I don't think this is dextro-friendly, Tali," I muttered to her.
"No kidding," she replied. "But I'm not about to say anything to her. And don't you dare, either. Just pretend to drink it."
"I wasn't—"
Shepard cleared her throat. All conversation stopped; all eyes turned to her. She looked strangely awkward to be the center of attention. Her gaze flicked over to Liara – just for a heartbeat – and then she raised her glass high. The rest of us did the same.
"The Alliance lost a good man today," she said. "Admiral Kahoku was a father and husband. I didn't know him well. But I do know that, when his marines went missing, he went to every length to track them down. I wish I could have done more for him. I wish we'd been able to stop Cerberus before they killed him."
"You did what you could," Liara said, quietly, sharply.
"If I did," Shepard said, her eyes falling to the floor, "it wasn't enough."
She turned to Liara. I shifted uncomfortably. This vulnerability on Shepard's face…it wasn't something I was used to seeing in my superior officer. Somehow, it did nothing except strengthen my respect for her.
She turned away from Liara, her gaze sweeping the room.
"Apparently the Admiral enjoyed a good glass of bourbon. I don't have that, but Captain Anderson apparently left this tequila behind." She grinned. "My apologies in advance. Fresh limes aren't apparently in the standard Alliance kit. So we're all doing this straight, okay folks?"
Kaiden chuckled beside me. Seeing my inquiring look, he shrugged.
"Never thought of the Captain as a tequila man, that's all."
Shepard raised her glass, all seriousness again. Everyone else followed suit.
"Here's to Admiral Kahoku, who never gave up on his people. Who wouldn't leave anyone behind. Not even the dead. Who's like us?"
I blinked, confused at the question, but Ashley barked back a response almost immediately.
"Damn few. And they're all dead."
A strange toast, in my opinion. But it meant something to the humans, I suppose.
They all nodded in response to Ashley's response. Shepard smiled grimly and tilted back her glass. Everyone else—except me and Tali—did the same. We just awkwardly raised our glasses in the air and then set them back on the table as subtly as we could.
Shepard slammed her empty glass back on the table. Then, her gaze zeroed in on mine and Tali's undrunk glasses. The revelation that we couldn't actually drink the stuff bloomed in her eye. I prepared for an awkward apology or something, but instead she chuckled – then lunged across the table, snatched the glass out of my hand, and downed it.
"My dad knew the Admiral," she said, in response my raised brow plates. "I guess that one's for him."
She looked up and gestured Ashley forwards.
"Chief, you wanna help me out here?"
She handed Tali's glass to Ashley. Ashley looked at Shepard – some invisible understanding passing between them.
"And they're all dead," I heard Ashley whisper to herself, in a darker, quieter tone than when she'd said the words earlier. She looked at Shepard. Shepard nodded. And then Ashley downed the shot.
And I remembered that she'd lost people too. Shepard found her on Eden Prime in retreat from the geth after her whole unit had been wiped out. It wasn't fifty marines and three days on Akuze, waiting for rescue, but it wasn't nothing.
I thought of our conversation at the weapons bench the other day. I'm not like them, you know. When a human colony could be wiped off the map like that by an unknown enemy, when the rest of the galaxy did nothing more than shrug at the memories of her fellow marines…maybe I could see where Ashley's desperate need for more recognition for her people came from.
She wanted to be seen. She wanted her pain and the pain of her people to be seen. If the same thing had happened to me, I couldn't say I'd feel any different.
Shepard sees you, I thought at Ashley. She sees you.
And, thanks to her, maybe I do, too.
The Alliance personnel began to disperse – except Joker, who hobbled over to where Shepard and Ashley still stood together.
"The techs have finished analyzing the data you got from Kahoku's omni-tool," he said. "We've got the location of their main base. Voyager Cluster. Planet called Nepheron."
Shepard nodded.
"Alright then: let's wipe Cerberus off the map. You game for it, Chief?"
"Sure am, Skipper," Ashley replied.
Surprisingly, Shepard's eyes found mine. Maybe I imagined it, but I feel like she hesitated for a moment.
Then: "How about you, Garrus?"
"Count me in," I said, trying not to show my surprise.
I mean, maybe I shouldn't be surprised. But this mission means something to Shepard. She's taken Kahoku's death personally. This isn't just another mission for her. And Ashley. Even though Shepard can't give her a shot at Saren and the geth that killed Ashley's unit (at least, not yet), maybe avenging Kahoku's marines will be the next best thing for her.
But Shepard has her reasons for bringing me, I'm sure. We've got a few hours before we arrive. I'll be ready to do my part.
- G.
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