HAPPY NEW YEAR!

This chapter is dedicated to DiahKu! I really appreciate everyone's reviews and questions - and thank you all so much for reading and following my stories! I hope y'all have a VERY safe, healthy, and prosperous New Year!


DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. I will take advice and suggestions from my readers' reviews!

Thinking

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Emphasis


When Nara-sama had come by their booth for no other reason than to seemingly gossip, Izumo was flattered but knew something was going on. It just wasn't anywhere near normal for the Jonin Commander to take time out of his busy schedule for gate-guards like him and Kotetsu. He knew for a fact that something was up when Jonin Hatake popped up in smoke to discuss the same thing their Commander had.

"Boys," Hatake greeted them - sort of - he was looking away with that one eye of his, surveying the absolute boring nothingness in front of them. The Hatake leaned over their desk asking, "So did you hear what happened?" Kotetsu looked up eagerly from his paperwork - he loved gossip so much it was embarrassing. "Uzumaki Naruto was - oh, it's so sad… I cannot believe Uchiha Sasuke would hurt a fellow shinobi." He sniffled pathetically. "My own genin team, too." Hatake-san wiped a tear they really hadn't seen from his eye.

"Commander Nara was here earlier and told us about it, Hatake-san," Kotetsu stated, realizing too late that the Jonin didn't look too happy about hearing that. He felt a chill running through him as that one-eyed glare hit him, then felt Izumo prick his arm with his pencil. He coughed into his hand "But perhaps you know more, sir?"

Hatake-san's glare let up and he took a small step back. Putting his hands in his pockets, his silver eyebrow shot up as he took in the Chunin. "Perhaps," he drawled out. Good, now I have their interest

The official plan to make sure that Naruto was seen as the victim she was, and not the perpetrator of the Uchiha's attack didn't include mentioning Sasuke's - or the council's - desires to force Naruto into being the last loyal Uchiha's bride or farming her out, but Kakashi felt it couldn't hurt to let others know. Especially when those others were noisy, gossipy gate guards that couldn't keep their mouths shut if you paid them when it came to non-classified business! Plus, they were his target! Why was Commander Nara here earlier - he had his own targets, dammit!

Asuma sunshinned in, looked at Kakashi in disappointment, and sighed. He sunshinned out, most likely to his next target. Looks like we all had the same idea of making sure these two, of all people, get the word out. The only ones more important were probably the Yamanaka clan. Their contacts throughout the village, in intelligence, and their sheer love of even civilian gossip made them key in the plan to protect Naruto.

Naruto… What was he going to do with his defiant little wife? They'd been up all night arguing - although Naruto-chan didn't even believe he was serious for HOURS. Then she had the nerve to be angry with him? He's the one who's angry! He'd been stuck in the Hokage Tower trying to figure out how to keep her safe for hours when he could have been reading his book! Minx!

"Hatake-san?" Izumo asked, getting his attention again.

"Maa, gomen, Izumo-kun," the silver-haired Jonin scratched the back of his head. Izumo didn't even know that Hatake knew his name! He and Kotetsu looked at each other and grinned: today was a good day! Acknowledgment was a great thing.

"So, Hatake-san… I suppose this information is classified? I mean, if the Kunoichi find out what those bast-, I mean, what the council is trying to do to Uzumaki…?" Kotetsu asked.

Bingo. Those sexist idiots - particularly ones as horrible as the civilian council members, not to mention the "Elders" who were straight off the scale, even with one being a retired Kunoichi… They did their dirty work in the dark. Once the Leaf's Kunoichi force found out the plans for Naruto Uzumaki? Hatake, Kakashi reassured himself, they would be on her side and dare any shinobi or civilian to say otherwise. "Maa, I never said it was classified, Kotetsu-kun. In fact, how could I be speaking of this if it were? I just think it is..." Kakashi brought his masked hand up to wipe away another imaginary tear. "It's just so awful, ne? I can only hope that Naruto-chan will get the support she needs..." The boys nodded eagerly.

Although he had a few more targets, Kakashi felt like he'd already achieved the successful completion of this mission. He gave a weary, "Ja Ne!" to the Chunin and sunshinned behind their booth to hear what they would say.

"Man, that sucks!"

"We should let people know. I mean, if they did that to her, they'll do it to other girls, ne?"

"Right you are man." Kakashi was just taking off when he heard one last comment. "I saw Uzumaki in the village recently: she's smokin' hot!"

Kakashi sunshinned toward his next target, making sure to stop in the trees where he could pound his head then fists into a target post.


Yuhi Kurenai was not someone who had particularly liked Naruto in her past life - at all. Shikamaru told her that the woman was great, and he absolutely adored her, but Naruto wasn't so sure. Shikamaru had assured her that things would be different this time with the sensei of Team 8, mainly because of Hinata knowing already that Naruto was female. She really didn't understand, although she knew VERY well that Kurenai-sensei had been furious when she was outed as a female. Naruto thought the only reason the woman even acknowledged her afterward was that she had saved the villagers in the Pein attack, but even then the red-eyed woman rarely spoke a word to her.

And really, that was just fine - although she missed Asuma a lot back then. Plus Konohamaru was spending a lot of time with Kurenai after Asuma's death - which was one she was not going to allow to happen this time - so she had to constantly go around Kurenai's activities in order to interact with her little apprentice without him realizing their issues. Her issues, not mine. Naruto sighed. The only problem she had with Kurenai-sensei could be summarized in one word: Genjutsu. Without Kurama's help, she was a total dimwit when it came to genjutsu, and with Kurenai being an absolute master of it - on par with the Bastard - the woman always scared the hell out of her. Especially after the first time she was put in a genjutsu by Jiraiya. If he could be so frightening with that simple one, how much more terrifying would the "genjutsu mistress" be? When she'd shirked out on cleaning the men's washroom at the hot springs all those years ago, Kurenai-sensei had been furious. She shivered at what she could've done to her.

So why the hell was Kurenai now here with her team - in Team 7's training field - offering to help her with her hair?!

"Oh, I see you've taken off the burned ends already. You've done a very nice job, Uzumaki-chan, but would you allow me to help straighten it out? I'm very good at this type of thing." The woman blushed, puzzling Naruto even more. "I do some of my friends' hair, especially when we're out on missions."

Naruto looked up to Hinata-chan in a plea for help. The indigo-haired girl turned red and flopped against the nearest tree. She looked to Shino and offered him a pained smile: he only stood there, silent and buzzing. Finally, Kiba walked toward her, blushing for some reason, as Akamaru happily bounded into her arms. "Go for it, Naruto-chan. You want your hair long still, ne?" He dealt with his big sister's hair fears, so he thought he understood the problem.

"Hai! Arigatou, Kiba-kun!" She placed her hand on his in a gesture of thanks, and that of course is when her butthead of a husband sunshinned into the training field. He flipped open his book and flopped down on a nearby log, but not before giving them a dirty look. Kurenai stopped clipping her hair and when Naruto looked up she saw the dark-haired beauty glaring fiercely at her husband. Hah! Serves you right, Cyclops! This lifetime or last, Kurenai absolutely despised perverts and Ero-sennin's books: everyone knew that.

The resident cyclops simply gave Kurenai a two-fingered salute and went back to his Icha-Icha, before looking back up to glare a hole through Kiba's head. The Inuzuka trembled and called Akamaru to him as he ran back toward his team. That was when Naruto finally paid attention to Pinky and the Printing Press' conversation.

"I'M NOT 'UGLY' YOU ASS!" Pinky screamed. Naruto had to hold in her laughter. To think that Sai would call Sakura that again: too hilarious. Although she knew Sakura-chan was nowhere near ugly. Maybe her attitude, but still...

"Are you ready to be called Dickless?"

"I guess so. Sai wouldn't be Sai without his weirdness and nicknames…"

Naruto watched underneath her newly-refined bangs as Tenzo took Sakura away from the ROOT member. She guessed that she was being scolded for punching and yelling, but was too tired from being up all night to even bother adding chakra to her ears to enhance her hearing to learn the details of their conversation. Why Sakura was glaring at her intermittently? Naruto had no idea and really didn't care at the moment. Kurenai ordered her team to pair off and spar with Sai, and Gods only knew what in the world Sai said now because Team 8 looked embarrassed and horrified. She looked toward her husband eye-smiling at the other Genin before his eyes met hers and he glared at her.

Jerkwad. It'll be a cold day in hell when I obey your perverted ass off-duty, Naruto thought seriously, glaring right back at the man. Hearing a snarl from him, she turned away. Weird dog-man!

Kurenai looked up at him and glared, too, then Kakashi lifted his headband.

"Watch out, kit. Looks like they're having a little genjutsu battle."

Naruto watched as both of them were unmoving and only staring at each other. "Fucking hell!" That seemed to get the Jonin's attention as Kakashi lowered his headband and Kurenai gently rebuffed her for her language. She began to explain "Kunoichi duties" and "proper Kunoichi conduct" to her in a soft voice which Naruto found made her drowsy. She began to fall asleep, which earned her a light rap on the shoulder and laugh from the genjutsu mistress.

Naruto looked up to see all of Team 8 basically attacking Sai with reckless abandon, rather than any one of them continuing to pair up with the strange boy. Figures. Kurenai ended the "spar" and took her team back to their training ground after Naruto thanked her for her help. Sakura had returned from her conversation with Tenzo but was still glaring at her, as Sai approached. "Double D, I would like to ask for your assistance in re-naming morons." She heard Kakashi's book slap shut and felt his chakra spike.

"Gomen… Do what now?" For some reason, Kurama began laughing his ass off and HOWLING with laughter, which was just insane, but Naruto didn't understand why.

"It seems that those I have granted nicknames are unhappy with my ideas," Sai said in his, as always, non-emotive voice, his fake smile intact.

"Oh, well… Just go with your gut, I guess?" Naruto shrugged, not knowing what else to say. Kakashi walked up to him, smacked him on the head with his precious book, and walked away, saying nothing. His chakra was still all over the place, though. Well, that's bizarre. Sai reached for his water and took a long drink.

"So you are a believer in nicknames strengthening what is called bonds of friendship or camaraderie?" Sai asked quite seriously.

"Yeah, I think so Sai! Haven't really considered it so much before, ya know? I've just dealt with what I've either been called or heard - but I believe you're right!" Naruto answered Sai, who looked down with his eyebrows furrowed. "Sai?"

"I see that you do not wish to give me a nickname, Double D." Kurama made so much noise, wracking with laughter that it took her attention away from the ROOT member for a moment.

She glared at the hysterically-laughing fox in her mindscape before responding to the emo directly in front of her. "Maa, I don't know about that, Sai… It's just that I don't know how kindly you'll take to me calling you a Printing Press Motherfucker!" Wow, that just rolled off my tongue without thinking!

Sai stood in front of her, obviously considering what she'd said. Naruto was not going to get attacked again - yesterday with Sasuke had been enough of a drag. She prepared herself, only for Sai to verbally respond. "I would appreciate very much if you didn't include the phrase, 'motherfucker,' as I have no mother to fuck, nor do I believe I would do so had I known or still had said mother."

Naruto's eyebrows shot up. "Fair enough, I suppose." What the heck was she supposed to say to THAT?

"Then we are in agreement, Double D. I look forward to working with you in the future." Naruto nodded as Sai ran off after bowing, wondering why Tenzo and Kakashi were groaning - both had at least one hand covering their own faces. Sakura tried to bop Naruto on the head, yelling at her about accepting a supposedly horrible nickname. She's never been called Dickless, so what does she know? Anyway, what's so bad about "Doubledee?"

"You are such a dumbass!" Kurama wailed, wiping tears from his eyes. "Never mind, never mind, kit!" He calmed down as she looked up at him in confusion. "Accept it kit: you are right. It is a very appropriate nickname, indeed."

"Yeah, thanks Kurama!" Naruto said sincerely as the fox began snickering. This time he pulled his tails over his face, though, which Naruto had only seen him do a couple of times. She later sparred with Sai - er, Printing Press - until training was called off. Sakura refused to eat lunch with her, and her newly-affirmed ROOT buddy had disappeared in a sunshin. She looked up to only find a very sad-looking Pakkun and Bull for company. "Ugh. Come on guys, let's go find Shikamaru."

The dogs looked at each other and whined, but nevertheless followed behind her, tails dragging all the way.