A/N: A quick thank you to everyone who added this story in their alerts and/or added it to their favorite list. It truly means a lot to me.
I will be posting three outtakes for this story- all of them covering a different time frame in Peter and Bella's future life. This third one takes places roughly fifty years after Bella's change. I hope you like it and thank you for reading!
Outtake 3- Is this the end or the start?
Edward's POV-
Fifty years….
It had been fifty long years since I had seen the rising or setting sun. It had been fifty never ending years since I had walked out a free man. It had been fifty torturous years since I had played on my piano, the lullaby of my beloved still fresh in my mind. I often hummed it out loud, wishing that my beloved would be with me, blushing as I sung her the song I had written for her, love in her eyes and a smile on her face.
She had been my muse, the indication to me that perfection does exist in this world. She had been flawless, but for some reason, always believed that she was inferior to anyone else.
Huh! What a joke was that?
The others- Rosalie and Alice- could not even compare to her, her simplicity and beauty unparallel. She had been the epitome of purity and goodness…if only I hadn't left her, my life would have been so beautiful and complete. But, I had been a quick to act fool. I had never thought of the consequences of my actions, now paying the price for them.
And, what a price it had been.
I could never forgive myself for letting her….letting my Bella go, no matter how long I went on to exist.
No.
Not mine.
She was not mine.
She was that Peter's.
Bella Whitlock, as she had told me to call her on that fateful day when she had gotten married to that degenerate. She had been in the castle, countable steps away from me, getting ready to become one with a man she knew I detested more than any in this world.
Alec had told me about their wedding, of course his motive had been to get a rise out of me, but I had craved every word of his sentence like a thirsty man craves water.
I needed to know about her…..even if it caused me unimaginable pain to hear so.
I needed to know if she was happy or not…a part of me secretly hoping that she wasn't.
I knew it was wrong of me to think so, but I loved her. I wanted to spend my eternity with her…..only spending eternity with her was no longer a possibility for me.
She was already taken, happily mated to a man who loved her- truly and completely.
I had begged Aro to let me see her, if only once, ready to do anything he asked in return. She had come to meet me, grumbling the entire way in annoyance. I had been so surprised to notice that proximity to her had still caused the same reaction in me, but the sight of her in her wedding dress had brought me back to reality, throwing me from the tallest building in the world to the rough ground that lay below it.
She did not want me.
She would never want me.
She had chosen another.
She had called what we shared a 'past', telling me that she had moved on, never to look back. She was happy in her life, ready to walk on a new journey with her mate.
I hated him for it.
He had taken what was supposed to be mine.
He had stolen the happiness that was of my share.
He had ruined my life, leaving me completely empty…..but had he truly, or was I the one responsible for the mess that had become my life?
I could not help but wonder if I would have been a different- better person if only I had been guided by someone better than me.
Carlisle was an intelligent man, experienced and smart, but he wasn't always the best teacher out there.
I had been a clean slate when I had first woken up into this new form of mine. Of course I had held the views my parents had instilled in me, but never had I been this rigid or unchangeable in my thinking. In fact, my mother had raised me to be a very different man than who I was today. She had valued the life of another, no matter their social standing, and she had taught me to do the same. I was never allowed to disrespect another in front of her, no matter what their job was or who they were. She had taught me to be humble and polite, to be respectful and optimistic, telling me that God would keep us safe even when my father had first been diagnosed with the Flu. The thought of anything bad happening to us had never even crossed her mind. She had been pure, never blaming another soul for anything unfortunate that happened in her life. She had been kind. She had been accepting of others….
What had I become?
How had I become this?
Why had I listened to Carlisle when he had taught me values that my parents had never believed in?
He had been the one to teach me that Rosalie should be looked down upon, her mannerisms not worthy of a respectable woman. He had been the one to 'discuss' with me of how Jasper was not fit of staying in our family, his past a huge stain on his reputation. He had been the one to make me believe that keeping a mistress was not questionable, assuring me that it was the right thing to do.
I had never appreciated it when my father had done the same- knowing subconsciously that it was wrong, but still I had taken Carlisle's word to be the law, trusting him even more than I trusted myself. He had always told me that he was like a second father to me- only wishing the best for me, how could I not believe him then?
Oh. What a fool I had been; these fifty years a huge eye opener for me!
He had not wanted the best for me. He had only wanted the best for him. Wasn't that why he had found the easiest way out when a problem arose, running out of here as soon as he possibly could?
He had never even looked back, the fact that he referred to us as his children a laughable matter now.
A good father- like he pretended to be- never behaved like this, choosing himself over his wife and supposed children.
He could have tried harder to reduce our punishments, or at least stand by us while we faced them, but he had simply chosen to cut all ties with us, accepting that he was once again a lone vampire, like he had been all those centuries back.
It had been questionably easy for him, no doubt in that.
I could not help but wonder if we had only been around him for convenience sake, him having used the rest of us for most of my life.
A few decades back I would have completely ignored this thought as soon as it crossed my mind, trusting Carlisle possibly as much as I could, but not any longer. My eyes had opened and now I could see the reality of the picture- as clear as crystal.
Of course, there was nothing other to do now than lament over this.
I had been too late in opening my eyes.
It was not like I could go and accuse Carlisle of ruining my life, treating me like a lackey to do as he said.
Unfortunately, that wasn't ever going to be a possibility for me.
I could still remember the moment- as clear as the previous day- when Alec had taunted to me, laughingly telling me the news of the demise of my supposed father figure in this eternity of mine.
He had been killed nearly a decade ago, a coven of unfriendly vampires starting a fight with him. I had refused to believe it at first- the idea impossible in my mind, but I had been convinced when Gregory had partly lifted his shield to let me see Demetri's memories of the fight. He had been there, but obviously he had not even tried to help Carlisle out- his reasoning being that it simply did not make a difference to his life whether Carlisle lived or not. It was the truth, though. Carlisle was dead. He had never learnt how to fight, wanting to be as human as possible, leaving him completely vulnerable against those who had become his end.
It was a sad end, indeed.
Rosalie and Emmett had come to meet me a few months after I received this news- in the dungeons of course, with special permission from the Masters. Having completed their years of punishment, the two of them had permanently relocated to Alaska, deciding to never have any interaction with the human population whatsoever. They never even left their house these days, unless it was to hunt.
Rosalie had been the quietest I had ever seen her-the decade spent in this castle changing her drastically. In fact, she had nothing to say- sarcastic or genuine. She had simply let Emmett lead the conversation, speaking on her behalf as well. I was aware that she hated her life, more so now than before.
They had informed me that Carlisle's accumulated wealth and several properties across the world had been divided in six shares- namely the rest of us, him never writing a will for there never being a reason for it. I had asked them to send my share to Bella. I did not want it. I had no purpose for it.
Bella could use it.
Even if it gave her a little bit of comfort, I would consider my life fulfilled.
Emmett and Rosalie had accepted my decision, leaving the castle that very minute. They had spent a decade in here; they had no intention of spending even another moment in these four walls.
Anyway, apart from the two of them and their once in these fifty years visit, my other brother had never even come down to meet me, not even on the days when he was in the castle for a job given to him by the Volturi. Of course I only had myself to blame for this. I had never respected Jasper; always assuming him to be beneath me, and now when I truly needed a family to lean back on, I had no family, was what I realized.
He had married that human girl from Forks- Alec had told me about it- laughing at me of how happy everyone apart from me was in their lives.
I was a glutton for punishment, it seems, for I always waited for the moment when Alec would tell me more about my former family. He would laugh. He would taunt…..but still I would listen, for that was the only interaction I had with another.
I had had company in the very beginning. Alice and I would talk occasionally, though we were locked on different ends of the dungeons. We would shout our words to one another whenever we had something to talk over, knowing well that both Alec and Jane could hear of our conversation, but that too had stopped twelve years into our almost servitude.
Alice had apparently- that was what I had heard, but I wouldn't know the truth in this- attacked Jane, while the latter had gone to take Alice for her monthly feed, her permission to feed on animals being granted. Alice had pounced over Jane, losing the fight even before it began. Alice simply never returned to the castle, the last connection that I had with my family now lying broken.
I had never loved her the way she wanted me to, but I had loved her- like a sister….like a friend….like a confidante. Losing her- so brutally- had been absolutely gut-wrenching….
"Edward, my boy," a cheery voice gained my attention, making me look up, back into the present. Aro stood in front of me, a huge smile on his face.
"Hello Aro," I nodded my head. I had no energy to even pretend to be happy, not even for his sake.
"You are getting your freedom today." he chirped. "It is a happy day."
I nodded my head, expressionlessly. "Some would say so."
My life had ended the day Bella had refused to come back to me. There were to be no happy days in my life now.
Aro grinned at me. "You can always visit us in the future, of course not as our prisoner this time around."
I gave him a brief nod. "I will keep that in mind."
He nodded his head at Chelsea, the latter giving me the few mere belongings I had had on me when I had entered this castle fifty years ago- namely, a few bills and a few credit cards. I don't know where I would be going from here, but I would probably need these.
I could go back to Chicago, the house that my parents had lived in…the house in which I had been raised- lying completely abandoned.
It would not be the same as before. It never could be, but it would give me a start.
"Edward,"
I looked up, meeting the eyes of my once upon a time- mother. She had a slight frown on her face, her husband standing behind her with a calming hand on her shoulder.
I had been surprised, to say the least, when Alec had informed me of Esme's engagement to Marcus. I had not even known that they were friendly with one another- a romantic equation far too ahead in the future, but I had heard of how their common misery had worked in their favor, making them bond in a way no other topic could have. Their engagement had soon turned into marriage, giving them both a second chance at this eternity of theirs.
"Esme," I softly muttered, nodding my head once.
"Where will you be going?" she sighed, looking more like the mother I had once seen her as.
"I don't know," I mumbled, truthfully. "Somewhere far…."
She sighed. "Please look after yourself. I cannot leave this castle for another fifty years but…."
"I will be okay," I shook my head.
I had to be okay. I had no other choice.
I had once tried to end my life, realizing then that living was much more difficult than dying. Death was the easy alternative out, life being painful and never ending.
"She is in Canada…" Esme trailed off, having no need to specify the 'she' that she was speaking off. "She is taking a few online college courses to pass the time. Will you be going to see her?"
Her voice while questioning, was also curious. She wanted to know if I would once again try to see her…try to convince her and win her back.
But I already knew my answer to this.
I shook my head, sighing. "Esme, she is happy without me. It will make no difference to her whether I am a free man or not. She has chosen him."
She had not chosen me.
I had to let her go.
Esme nodded her head. "Please keep yourself safe."
I gave her a small forced smile, nodding my head at Marcus, acknowledging his presence.
"I should leave."
I did not wait for them to speak. I simply started walking in the direction of the door- a free man after long fifty years.
I don't know where I was going or how my life would be from this moment onwards, but I had no other option but to survive.
I walked for hours- taking the route of the trees, having no destination in mind. I could hear the thoughts of the others around, Gregory's power no longer affecting me, but I had no attention to pay to those thoughts.
My mind was on Bella…on the days gone by.
The question of 'if only' bothering me to another extreme.
Minutes turned to hours and hours turned to days, but I kept walking, stopping only when it was time to feed.
I had meant to go to Chicago, but I really had no idea of where I was at the moment.
I could not gather the attention to concentrate.
It did not make any difference anyway.
I had nobody waiting for me…nowhere.
I was on my own, for the first time since waking up as an immortal.
The life of a lone nomad glaringly obvious in my future…..
My eyes were fixated on the uneven ground, my feet leading me to some rural part of the country when my feet suddenly stopped, hearing a faint heartbeat….so far away from human civilization.
I recognized the faintness of the heartbeat….the owner of said heart about to die.
I rushed forward.
What was a human doing so far away from town?
What purpose could they even have?
My feet pushed me harder, leading me as fast as I could, trees being my only companion in this journey.
My eyes, though, widened at the sight that met my eyes.
A human girl- no older than sixteen- lay dying, her heartbeat too faint to save, her short black hair wet with sweat and a few tears trailing down her eyes. She was crying, possibly out in pain.
"I was attacked," she whispered, her body alert enough to notice my presence. "They left me here to die."
I shut my eyes- her naked body now becoming evident to me, the gory of what had occurred with her passing through her mind, the brutality almost inhuman.
How could someone treat another human like this?
It was horrible and unimaginable.
"Please save me," she begged, her heart almost giving away. "I don't want to die."
I shook my head, her thoughts telling me exactly what I needed to know. She knew what I was. She had seen one of my kind before, even spoken to him at length, luckily never being found out by the Volturi.
"You don't want this." I frowned at her.
This eternity was no gift. It was a curse, a curse that we had to bear for decade after decade.
She managed a small smile. "I want to live. I will take any life that I get. Please…."
I shut my eyes. "You will not be able to take this back."
She smiled. "I won't want to."
I sighed, unmoving.
"I don't have much time." she begged. "It is now or never."
"I have never changed another." I told her, meeting her eyes.
"I will take my risk."
I nodded my head, her thoughts in perfect coordination with her words. She wanted this. She was sure of this.
I gave out one last sigh, walking ahead and kneeling in front of her. "Please don't hate me for this. I will see you in three days."
She nodded her head, my teeth close to her jugular.
I slowly bit down, pushing as much venom in her as I could…..sitting by her side, with her hand in mine, as the burning began.
