Title: Fingers Crossed
Author: SneetchesToo
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Ethan/Rox
Summary: Ethan had some questions for Rox about their future. And he had no problem getting started on making them happen right away.
Author's Note: This is smut and snuggles, our couples two favorite things.
Ethan had been so incredibly thankful when Rox had come home.
He had missed her the few days that she had been gone.
And while they hadn't exactly talked about what had happened and they hadn't addressed Robbie's death, they had both been on the same page in the end.
They loved each other, of that much they were certain, and they knew that they needed to find a way to make things work.
Not just for them, but for Ariel as well.
The teen needed them and they needed her and they were willing to do whatever it took to keep their family together.
They had both worked tirelessly to help the girl through the last few days of her summer intensive at Stanford and when it was all said and done they were all exhausted.
So Ethan had gone to Leanne and asked for a few extra days with the teen.
And then he had whisked his girl's away for an end of summer trip.
They had driven north and stopped at the beach in San Francisco for two days before heading east.
Their final destination being Yosemite National Park.
Ariel had been over the moon upon their arrival and she had spent the whole time they were there hiking and swimming.
Ethan had been shocked that he hadn't seen her phone come out once, except to snap a few pictures along the way, and she had even told them both that she didn't need to talk to her friends when she had them.
He had had quite the dad moment when she said that and Rox had just chuckled.
He guessed that she probably understood quite well where the girl was coming from.
Today had been their final full day at the park and they were due to return home to LA tomorrow.
They had spent the day exploring the mountains one last time before returning to the little cabin that they had rented and when Ariel had fallen into bed before 9:00pm they had both guessed that they were doing something right.
And then Ethan had dragged Rox down the hall toward their room and he had shut and locked the door with a sneaky smile.
"What do you think you're doing?" Rox asked softly, her eyes going wide as he leaned back against the closed door.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" He was baiting her and he was curious to see if she took it.
"Are you trying to insinuate that we should be doing something other than sleeping?" She headed toward him then, her eyes twinkling in the low light of the room.
"Maybe." He reached out for her, his hands grabbing her hips gently as he tugged her forward.
"Why Ethan James Willis," She wrapped her arms around his neck as she spoke and he chuckled, "that's mighty brazen of you."
They hadn't done anything more than kiss their entire trip, both of them afraid that Ariel would hear, or worse, walk in on them, again.
And after she had busted them both topless on the couch the night before her last day of classes, they had been hesitant to do anything with her around.
"The door's locked." He whispered, his head falling to her shoulder as he pressed kisses against the exposed skin. "And she's fast asleep."
Rox pulled back, causing his head to fall forward, and he let out a huff.
"You have to promise to be quiet." She said softly, her fingers running through his hair as she dragged his head upward.
"Yes ma'am." He leaned forward then, capturing her lips in his.
It didn't take him long before he was running his tongue along her lips, his fingers pushing at the hem of her sleep shirt as he turned them around, backing her against the door.
She let out a low moan, her nails dragging along the bare skin of his back as she opened her mouth to him, allowing him access.
He couldn't get enough of her, not now, not ever.
"Love you." He growled against her lips, his hands gripping at the hem of her shirt, pulling it upward and over her head in one quick motion.
"Love you too." She whispered back.
He dropped his forehead to hers and let out a soft sigh.
"Let's have a baby." He whispered, his eyes locking with hers as he ran his fingers along her bare shoulder and chest, stopping them right above her left breast.
He expected her to freak out, to lose her mind and pull away from him, but instead she let out a soft sigh.
"I don't think we can." He could see the hurt in her eyes and it broke his heart.
He loved her so much more than he ever thought possible and all he wanted was to spend the rest of his life with her.
He wanted a family with her too.
Kids, a dog, a nice big house with a beautiful yard.
He wanted it all.
And Rox was the only person he wanted it with.
"You keep saying that." He prayed that that wasn't the case, that she wasn't so hurt that a kid was completely out of the question for them.
"It hasn't happened yet Ethan." He could see the tears forming in her eyes and he sighed softly. "It's not like we're doing anything to prevent it."
"Well, maybe we're not trying hard enough." He gave her a soft wink and she chuckled, her eyes rolling softly as she brought her hands up to run through his hair.
"I'm not opposed to the idea, but I just…" She closed her eyes for a brief second and he leaned in, pressing his lips to her nose.
"Let's just keep trying then." He whispered, his hands tugging gently on her hips as he dragged her toward the bed with him.
She let out a soft laugh and he felt his heart start to race in his chest.
"You really want a baby don't you?" She sounded so uncertain and it broke his heart.
He thought he had been pretty clear about the fact that he wanted a baby with her.
"Yes, love, I do." He trailed his fingers up her bare back as he turned her toward the bed, pushing her down onto the mattress with a soft thud. "More than anything."
"I do too." She whispered, her hands reaching upward to grab a hold of his hips.
He smiled down at her as he leaned forward, pushing her up the mattress slowly, his body moving to hover over her.
"Maybe that's all it will take." He pressed a soft kiss against her shoulder as his hands pushed at the waistband of her pajama bottoms. "Maybe we both just need to be on the same page."
"I hope so." He hoped that she meant it.
He hoped that she really wanted this just as badly as he did.
Sure he had Ariel, and he loved her dearly, but he wanted a baby with Rox, a child that was the perfect mix of the two of them, a kid that they could raise together and do all the fun things with.
He hadn't gotten that with Ariel and it was something he wanted more than anything.
"Me too." He moved his head down, pressing kisses along the skin between her breasts as he went. He stopped his lips right above her belly button, peppering the area with soft little pecks, before lifting his head up and smiling at her. "You're gonna be the most beautiful pregnant women in the world."
She rolled her eyes at him before letting her head fall back against the mattress with a sigh.
"I hope it's a boy." She whispered into the silence.
"Why's that?" He pushed her pants the rest of the way down and kissed her just above the waistband of her underwear with a soft smile.
"Girls are hard." She said with a chuckle. "Just look at me. And Ariel. You can barely handle us."
"Gee thanks babe." He nipped at the inside of her thigh and she let out a soft whimper.
"Ethan…" He dragged his teeth along the bare skin, moving his way upward as he hooked his fingers under her panties.
"Yes love?" He refused to make eye contact with her as he pulled her underwear down, his lips pressing against her curls as he dragged his fingers up her leg slowly, stopping them at her core.
"Come here please." She said softly.
"Why?" He slowly slid a finger inside her, hi/.s lips pressing another kiss just above the spot where he knew she wanted it most.
"Because." She reached down and grabbed his hair in her fingers, tugging roughly until he looked up at her. "Please."
He let out a soft chuckle as he pressed another kiss against her curls before slowly moving upward.
He stopped when his face was mere inches from hers, his fingers stroking her lightly as he smiled at her.
"I love you." She whispered, her hands tangling in his hair as she dragged his lips down to hers.
He smiled into the kiss as he slid another finger inside her and when she groaned he felt his insides stir.
There was something about that sound coming from her that did him in.
"I love you too." He whispered back, pulling back just enough to look into her eyes. "Now hush."
She chuckled softly, her hands falling down to push at the waistband of his pajama bottoms.
She had them halfway down before she let out another groan, this time her back arching with the sound.
"Easy girl." He whispered, his head falling to her chest as he let his lips dance over her right breast.
She didn't reply with words, instead she shoved her hand inside his boxers, her fingers wrapping tightly around his erection as she whimpered.
He let out a sigh as she used her other hand to push his boxers down, her back arching once more.
"Ethan please." She moaned out, her fingers tightening their grip around him as she started to pant slightly.
He let out a soft chuckle as he dragged his thumb over her core, nipping at the skin of her other breast as he picked up the pace.
And the next thing he knew she was coming undone beneath him, her eyes slamming shut as she moaned out his name, her back arched under him as she came down from her high.
"Good?" He whispered after a minute, his head nuzzling against the smooth skin of her neck as he withdrew his fingers slowly.
"Very." She replied softly, her body relaxing under his, her eyes soft and blissful looking.
"You okay for more?" They hadn't been super intimate with each other like they used to be, most nights ending after only one or two rounds, and he certainly didn't want to push her if she wasn't up for more.
"Yes please." She nodded her head and he smiled as he lined himself up with her core.
"You tell me if I need to stop okay?" He didn't know if she had stopped wanting to go round after round because she was tired or sore, or if it was more emotional than physical, but either way, he respected it.
"You're fine Ethan." She reached up and cupped his cheek softly as he slid into her, her eyes lighting up at the intimacy of the moment. "Besides, we can't very well try and make a baby if all we do is some handiwork now can we?"
He let out a soft laugh at her words and when she giggled up at him he felt his heart clench in his chest.
"You are correct my love." He leaned down and pressed a kiss against her lips softly, his hips settling above hers as he set a rhythm.
She smiled at him softly, her hands tangling in his sloppy hair as she thrust upward at him.
They stayed that way for a while, just staring into each other's eyes as he continued his movements.
He let one hand remain by her hip for leverage but the other reached up and pushed back her curls, a smile on his face as he did his best to convey to her just how much he loved her.
It didn't take too long before Rox was reaching her breaking point, her eyes closing softly as she let out several soft moans.
The fingers of her right hand tightened around his hair as her left hand fell to his shoulder, gripping the space tightly as she reached her peak and then tumbled over it.
He leaned down and kissed her passionately, his hands settling on her cheeks gently.
She let out a soft sigh when he pulled back, her eyes opening as she smiled up at him.
"Fingers crossed." He whispered, his forehead dropping to hers softly.
"Fingers crossed." She whispered back, her fingers scratching at his scalp softly.
"I love you more today than I did yesterday." He pressed a soft kiss to her nose with his words.
"And I'll love you more tomorrow than I do right now." She leaned up and captured his lips in hers, her body relaxing under his as she started to come down from her previous high.
He smiled into the kiss, sliding from within her slowly, and then he rolled onto his back, tucking her against his side tightly, his lips pressing against her hair softly.
"Sleep love." He whispered against her forehead, his eyes falling closed as the day finally caught up with him.
And before she could respond Rox was asleep, her breaths even as she wrapped her hand gently around his dog tags, her legs tangling with his as he pulled the covers over their bodies.
He smiled as she snuggled into him even more and he pressed one more kiss against her head before letting his eyes close tightly, his body fading off into sleep as well.
—
The next time Ethan woke up he noticed that the bed beside him was empty, his sleeping companion having left him sometime during the night.
He let out a soft sigh as he let his hand fall into the spot where Rox's body had once been.
The space was still warm, meaning that she hadn't been gone long.
He wondered if she would be upset if he sought her out, if she needed some time to herself to process everything they had talked about.
She had admitted to wanting a baby.
She had admitted to hoping that it happened.
So he prayed that she hadn't gone back on that in a matter of hours.
He closed his eyes again for a brief second before pushing himself from the bed and grabbing his boxers and sweatpants, pulling them both on slowly as he listened for any signs of movement in the rest of the house.
It sounded quiet enough and he prayed that the teen was still asleep in her bed upstairs, allowing him a few more hours of alone time with his beautiful girlfriend before she woke.
Opening the door slowly, he stepped out into the hall and made his way into the living room, but there was no sign of Rox in the small space, or in the kitchen, and he let out sigh.
Where in the world could she possibly be?
But then he heard it, the faint sound of laughter coming from the room at the top of the stairs and he let out a breath, a smile forming on his lips as he listened to the two girls giggle about something.
He had always worried that they would never bond the way he wanted them too.
And for a while there, they didn't seem like they were even willing to try.
But ever since he had come home from London the two had been inseparable it seemed and he was incredibly thankful for their budding friendship.
He knew that Rox needed someone like Ariel in her life, and Ariel most certainly needed someone like Rox in hers.
He made his way up the stairs slowly, doing his best not to make any noise as not to disturb them just yet, and when he stopped just outside the small room he felt his heart stop at the words that left his daughter's mouth.
"So are you and dad gonna have a baby too?" He didn't know what struck him harder, the fact that she asked if they were going to have a baby, or the part that sounded like someone else in her life was going to have on as well.
The only person he could fathom that being would be her mother.
And he felt a twinge of guilt mixed with jealousy and regret deep down in his gut.
"I don't know sweetie." Rox's voice was soft and he could tell that she most certainly wasn't expecting such a question to leave the teen's lips. "We've talked about it."
There was no response from the girl though and he wanted to bust into the room and hold her tight.
He knew this would be hard on her, having a baby around wasn't easy, but he also knew that she never expected them to put their lives on hold for her.
She wasn't selfish like that.
"Who else is having a baby?" Rox asked softly.
Ethan found himself holding his breath as he waited for the girl to answer.
He really, really hoped that she didn't say her mom and Ed were.
"I heard mom and Ed talking about it the other night." She said quietly.
He wanted to break something, badly.
"Oh." Rox sounded as shocked as him by this revelation. "Really?"
"Yeah." He heard shuffling in the room and he pressed his back against the wall by the door. "I don't know how serious they are, but I think mom might have thought that maybe she was…"
Her voice trailed off and he heard Rox let out a sigh.
He was suddenly excessively nervous about this whole thing.
If Leanne and Ed were to have a baby together he knew that Rox would constantly be comparing herself to the other woman and he certainly didn't want that.
"Yeah, she did." He did a double take at Rox's words.
He had no idea that Leanne was worried about that.
They had only ever had two scares the entire 2.5 years they were together.
And one of them occurred when they really didn't want it too.
The other was not to long before Ariel came along and they had been on such a high together.
For five whole weeks they had walked around thinking that they were going to bring a new life into the world, together.
They had talked about it at night, going over what they were going to do and how they would make it work.
And then Ariel showed up and that threw a little wrench in their plans.
And then Leanne called him in the middle of the night to tell him that it was a false alarm.
Deep down he knew that it wasn't.
He knew it was a loss and she just couldn't say it out loud.
But he wasn't about to bring that up to her.
He didn't want to break her even more than she already was.
They had started fighting after that.
And as the summer dragged on things just got worse and worse.
And by the time Rox had arrived and the school year had started they had broken things off.
The constant reminder of what could have been far too much for either of them to bare.
"She told you that?" Ariel's words broke through his thoughts and he shook his head to ward off the tears.
He had never fully recovered from what had happened.
He was pretty sure that deep down, Leanne hadn't either.
"She confided in me that she suspected that she might be." Rox's voice was soft and he let out a breath. He was thankful for her friendship with Leanne through it all.
"Is she?" He wanted to know the answer almost as badly as the teen did.
"No." He let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, his body relaxing against the wall.
It's not that he wouldn't be happy for her if she was.
He just didn't know if she would be able to go through something so tragic again.
Losing Eli and Caitlin in the accident had been bad enough.
Then she had lost their baby on top of it.
And then, as if things hadn't been bad enough, they had almost lost Ariel too.
It hadn't been fair.
"I don't know what I'm gonna do if you both have babies." The teen whispered.
"You'll be an amazing big sister Ariel." He knew that was true.
She was a great kid and she was turning into an amazing young woman.
He was so proud of her and everything that she had accomplished and over come.
He hoped that she saw herself the same way.
"I don't know anything about babies." He couldn't help but chuckle.
He didn't know the first thing about babies either.
"Neither do I babe." He hated that Rox didn't get a chance to be a mother earlier in her life.
He prayed that there was a way he could give that to her.
"Have you always wanted kids?" Ariel asked softly.
Ethan felt his heart stop in his chest.
He didn't know how Rox would handle that question.
"Not always." She whispered back. "When I was younger I never really thought about it much. But then I got pregnant when I was in my early twenties and all of a sudden I loved the idea of being a mom."
"Something happened?" He hated thinking about what Rox had been through. "I mean, you don't have a child so…?"
"I had a miscarriage." Rox's words hit him where it counted most.
He still couldn't believe that that bastard had taken away her baby.
"I'm sorry Rox." He knew that Ariel would feel sympathy toward the woman.
She had the kindest heart of anyone he had ever met.
"It's okay honey." The older woman said softly. "I survived."
"So now you and Dad want to have a baby?" He wanted to have a baby, more than anything, but he worried that her participation in the whole thing wasn't as invested as his was.
"We wouldn't mind having one." She whispered back. "We've talked about it."
"Are you two trying to have a baby?" He thought the question was a little random coming from the girl, and a little evasive, but he understood her desire to know.
"Yes and no." He thought her answer was interesting. "We're not, preventing it."
"So it could happen?" He held his breath as he waited for an answer.
"It might." Rox whispered softly. "It might not."
He hoped it did.
And he hoped it was sooner, rather than later.
"I hope it happens." He was surprised to hear Ariel say that.
He always figured that she would freak out the idea of being a big sister.
"Me too sweetie." He was glad to hear Rox say those words.
He wanted this more than anything and if they could make it happen he would absolutely be over the moon.
He let out a soft sigh as he made his way back downstairs.
He couldn't convince himself to listen any longer, his brain having already processed enough information for the time being.
He just wanted things to be okay.
He hoped that this trip was a step in the right direction for all of them.
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