Enjoy!

M

PS: KJSandz you should listen to Amanda Tapping's Bite the bullet if you haven't yet. She talks about imposter syndrome in there. It's a really good podcast.

Chapter 65

Friday, August 31, 2012

When Jack had finally decided he needed to speak with her. That they needed to solve things between them. He stood up and noticed it was too late.

"I'll guess there's no time like tomorrow," he said. Then he remembered her words. "Movers… She's not going to be in tomorrow morning. That's okay, though. What you need to talk about needs to be done outside the base," he said to himself. Dropping into his chair, he also realized he had no clue whatsoever as to where she lived. So, he first had to find out that and then he could go.

He wondered, not for the first time, why no one had forwarded him Sam's newer file. Maybe they thought he knew what was going on? That when she announced to them, she was his wife. He magically learned things like where she lived and who had called her. That call had really bothered him.

He shook his head and went to the mess hall for some dinner. As he tried to figure out who would have her address and how could he get it without raising any flags. Captain Roux from legal happened to be there searching for coffee. He reported that the first version of the treaty was ready for reading and approval.

"I'll grab a bite and stop by," Jack had said. Not even an hour later, he was stopping by that office. One that for some reason he'd never understood, also ran 24/7.

"Lucky you!" he heard one Captain saying as he entered. "You're off the hook for this one. I for once have to go by our new CO's house to drop these off and the fixed version of the treaty we've been drafting for tomor…" Captain Parsons blanched. "Sir!"

"I can take those for you," Jack offered before he could stop himself and really think it through.

"Sir?"

"I can drop off whatever you need to be dropped at Carter's. I don't mind. Really, Parsons. How many times have I dropped off files to Landry before? But if you want to do it yourself…." He had shrugged, speaking with a far more unconcerned attitude than he was feeling. His heart was beating wildly, and his mind was telling him that he was digging his own grave. That all the four members present in that office had spotted his plans even before he entered the room.

"Are you sure you won't mind, sir?" The Captain asked.

"Not at all. I'll just need the address."

"Sir?"

"Of her house or wherever she's staying at? You know, so I don't have to go dig through my archives before I go home." He said. Mentally patted himself on the back for such a blatant and credible lie.

"Oh, sure. Let me get that for you, sir. I was about to print it for myself." They waited until the printer spewed the paper out. Then it was in his hands.

Jack simply folded the paper, not even glancing at the words typed there. He would read them later. When there weren't people looking at him. When his features couldn't betray him when he learned where she lived now. He imagined a nice little house like the one she'd had before, or maybe a kick ass mansion somewhere fancy. Now that she owned or received part of the revenue of those companies she'd created during her eleven years out of the USAF.

"I'll need that treaty. You've mentioned it's done, Roux." He managed to say, even though his mind was working hard to keep up appearance. "And whatever else I need to take…."

Two boxes were stacked in his hands, and the file with the treaty was placed on top. "Well, don't work too hard."

With that, he had walked back to his office. Once he reached it, he lowered the boxes to his desk and took the piece of paper off.

"What the fuck?" He frowned. He knew that address… It had been his address for over eight years. Why was she living there? Confused and tired, he had grabbed what he needed, locked his computer and everything else, and left.

He fought with his mind. So he wouldn't just detour now to check if she truly lived in his own house. In the house where they'd spent their last night together, the one that was continuously violated with cameras and bugs in his wall. The one that had provided him with memories of her in every single corner except by the rooftop.

After eleven years of trying to remember her, and fewer years of hiding on his rooftop because it was the only place that didn't remind him of her. His mind chose to provide him with the vivid memory of the first time he'd showed her the rooftop.

The gleam in her eyes, as she noticed he was pretending to be dumber than he was. The knowing look that she gave him and the bright smile that had almost melted him on the spot. The first time his heart had stopped aching for his past and skipped a beat under her charming expression.

"Fuck…" he said and stopped by the side of the road. Pressing a hand to his chest. The stupid broken heart that he'd been carrying around for years reminding him of its presence. "Why? I just want to know why…"

He rubbed his face tiredly and sighed. "Tomorrow morning, Jack. Now get home. Take one of those sleeping pills Janet gave you eons ago and tomorrow morning… You'll face her."

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Sam woke up that day not feeling rested at all. The meeting the previous day had left her wired. Jack was there, and she had to fight her feelings. The tingly sensation that was always there whenever he was looking at her, had surprised her when he appeared at the top of the stairs.

She hadn't been able to control her emotions in time, when their gazes locked. Then, her mind had provided her with the knowledge that she'd been hiding from him. That she hadn't found the way or the guts to face him. To tell him they had a daughter. Hell, no one knew she had a daughter! Once that had settled in, she felt guilty and couldn't hold his gaze anymore.

When they looked at each other again, her walls were high and so were his. She wanted to laugh and cry that they were now more similar than before… That they could protect their thoughts so fast that no one else could tell something had happened beyond the proper exchange.

At some point, she'd stolen a glance at his form, and her heart had skipped a beat. She loved him. She loved him now more than before; she acknowledged it then. She also figured out that some of that sadness she'd spotted was her fault. Beyond that, he remained unreadable, even to her.

Then she had made the mistake of glancing at the watch several times. Noticing it would be any time that her phone would go off. He had noticed her looking at it, too.

"Got somewhere else to be, General?" He had snapped. She clenched her jaw tightly, holding herself from answering yes. If only to rile him up, as he seemed so eager to be. She hadn't. She answered the truth. She was expecting Parker's call to let her know she was home. "Something more important than the faith of Takrim's people, I hope."

She had squared her shoulders. Thinking that it might not be more important than an entire town for anyone else but her. She was still having issues with wanting to know exactly where her daughter was. How long it took her to get home after she was picked up. Why it had taken longer than usual if it did.

Knowing that she had been kidnapped by the government. A government she had served under for so many years. That forced her to take an out that she wouldn't in any other case. Had managed to make her beyond paranoid with Parker's whereabouts. She couldn't tell him that, not yet.

She shook her head. She noticed the bitterness in which he had reacted afterward. Hell! Even Reynolds and Takrim, a perfect stranger had noticed it.

What fuckery had time done to them? She wondered as she made breakfast and called Jessica to let her know that they would need her in the afternoon after all. The first truck of movers would arrive soon. It was from one of the places she'd sent their things to keep them safe over the long run. She shook her head.

During their time as runaways and WITSEC protégées, they had learned to pack their things in a jiffy. Figuring what they wanted to keep, what they could keep, and what would go where in a matter of seconds. However, unpacking… That took too long. Often, she found it almost painful.

Now… Around three weeks after they had settled in. The boxes they had brought along, and the boxes that had come in the first wave two Saturdays ago, were still piled awkwardly around the house. The newest set of boxes made it look like some cargo bay instead of a house. She shook her head once the movers were gone. "P! We need to unpack some of this, to make room for what's coming!" She said.

"But, mommy. I have homework to do…" Sam groaned.

"Right. Homework first. If I find something with your name on it, I'll drop it in your room. You'll need to go through them when you're done. Okay?"

Her phone when off then, and she frowned. It was from the base. "Carter."

"Ma'am. It's Parsons from legal. I'm just calling to let you know that I've sent two boxes with documents your way. We'll need you to get through them ASAP. They're confidential but not classified, ma'am."

"I'll go through them the moment the boxes are here, Captain. Anything else?"

"No, ma'am." She hung then call and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Something wrong, mom?" Parker asked.

"No. If you're done here, go get that homework done."

"Sure."

An hour later, her phone went off again. It was Jordan. He had some issues he needed to discuss with her. On the other line, she had the movers that somehow had gotten lost. Parker was rummaging around the boxes, searching for something. She wasn't sure what it was P was searching for. That was when the doorbell rang.

Sam nodded Parker to get it. Then stopped dead in her tracks when the door was opened to reveal him standing in front of their daughter. Utterly confused by the look on his face.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Jack had parked outside his old house, her house, around ten minutes ago. He felt all sorts of déjà vu as he did. The house looked nicer than when he'd lived there. The yard looked well kept, and it was painted differently.

There definitively had been some remodeling done to it as well. It looked a bit different, but a lot like it used to. He wondered if that was some sort of hidden symbolism for their current situation. Had they just changed a little? Got some remodeling done after a few years, but deep down they had remained the same?

Jack glared at the boxes beside him. Why had he so willingly offered to bring them? Why had he been so eager to chat with her? Shaking his head. He figured he wouldn't find the answers to any of his questions if he remained with his ass in his truck.

Taking a deep breath, he got down. He grabbed the boxes as some sort of shield. As if that would prevent him from pinning her to the wall and kissing her hungrily. Until she answered in kind like he knew she was able of. Shaking his head, he walked down the path.

He stopped by the door. His old door that was now a shade lighter. He was sure that if he tried to open it, it would be locked. He didn't. Instead, he searched for the doorbell. He knew where it was but had never used it before.

Breathing in and out slowly once, if only to try to calm down his raging heart. To control the overwhelming feelings he was being currently engulfed in. He finally pressed the doorbell.

He could hear her voice coming faintly from somewhere inside. He heard two sets of steps. Maybe the movers? He wondered. Then rolled his eyes. There was no moving truck. That wouldn't make sense at all. Jealousy settled in the pit of his stomach as he remembered the call.

Maybe the second set of steps belonged to the person behind that call. The one who had managed to make her sound like she used to. "She moved on, Jack" his mind provided him with Daniel's voice.

Boy! He wasn't ready for the one that opened the door. He had frowned, to keep the surprise off his face. He was sure the girl didn't buy it, though. It was obvious in her smile.

"Hi, hmm, sir, hmm General, hmm Jack, oh, just, hmm, place those in any space you see free!" Carter had said. In a tone that couldn't hide her surprise as she covered the phone receiver with a hand. He nodded. The girl, well, she moved out of the way after giving him a shrug.

"Hey, kid. So, you are?" Jack asked. He really didn't need to be a genius. To figure out that the girl looked too much like Sam, not to be anything but her daughter. Not when Jack was aware that her only niece was older than the kid. Sam didn't have any more family than Mark. He hoped she wasn't her daughter. Perhaps the girl was Sam's own version of Jonathan O'Neill. A mini version of herself. That was an Asgard failed experiment. If that was the case… maybe Jon would have far better luck than he. Getting a life with Sam Carter.

The girl rolled her eyes, clearly not impressed by him.

"Her daughter?" Jack's eyes widened at the confirmation. "I know. We look too much alike," she said and grinned. A full megawatt Carter smile.

His heart broke. She had moved on like Daniel had said she had. She had a daughter, for crying out loud! One that she didn't mention when they found each other on the Prometheus all those years ago. One that no one knew about. One she hadn't said a thing about to anyone. Almost blindly, he looked for a place to drop his cargo. As soon as he did, he turned around and rushed out.

He needed air. He needed to run. He needed several liters of alcohol to process this information. Instead, he drove away as fast as he could. Once he reached his home, he dialed a number he knew by heart.

"Father O'Neill speaking." The comforting voice of his younger brother came through on the other end.

"Connor… Connor, she has a child," He managed to say before he hung the phone and cried once more for all that he'd lost. For all that was taken away from him. To think that if he'd followed her instead of just taking her there… That girl could've been his.