January 2nd 2017 23:11
Regina.
I knew from the moment Archie suggested this diary idea that it would be stupid. This is only the third entry and I already hate it. Part of me wonders if there's any reason to continue it, because for some reason I only want to talk to you and you're never actually going to read it. Maybe that's why I feel like I can say what I need to say to you. So… here goes.
I do not like the way that you simply disposed of me when we returned from New York. We were friends. We were almost even fucking family. I know that you were dealing with some shit but you just dropped me, like so many families have before. Did you even think of it like that? Did you even consider my feelings or were you just focused on yourself? The problem that I have is that… you talked to Henry. You talked to my parents. You even talked to my brother. Everyone that is related to me, except for me. This is the thing. It's not like you got another friend. You didn't just 'replace' me like so many others had. You just… cut me out. Like I was nothing.
You know… Archie told me to write exactly what I was feeling. 'Don't hold back. Don't cross anything out. Don't pretend you're not feeling what you're feeling'. So I'm not. The way you just abandoned me Regina. For some reason, that hurt more than whenever it's happened before. More than my parents. More than anyone who raised me when I was a child. More than Hook. Because you knew me. Despite everything you'd chosen me, and you knew about my history. Archie said that maybe you had your reasons for that? But you never gave me any reasons, so all I can think is that you had no reason. You're just that selfish.
I don't know. Sometimes I think that cricket talks out of his ass.
In case you didn't realise, I'm in a bad mood today. Not that you noticed when I saw you at Granny's, because of course you were ignoring me. It's like you're a petulant teenager. What would it take for you to start actually acknowledging my existence? Are you waiting for another villain to terrorise Storybrooke, for our kid to be in danger before you get your head out your ass? Because at some point I won't be able to fight against your old friends, I'm getting old ffs. You just don't get it do you? You hurt me. And now with his parents not speaking, you're hurting your son.
I just want to tell you that I miss you. And that right now… I hate you.
