AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hello again, readers! The last chapter was mainly focused on Link & Dark's relationship, with a little preview of what's to come with Dark's magic. This time, our primary focus will be the cool things Dark can do with his magic, and how he is learning how to use it and deal with the agreement he and Link reached at the end of the last chapter. Hopefully, you like those two topics a lot, since I think they'll be covered not only in this chapter but the next one too!


CHAPTER 31

Grasping at Shadows


Despite Link's insistence that time apart would help him feel more courageous and prove once and for all that he was far from a failure, he had yet to experience anything that made him agree with that sentiment. Often he just felt confused and lonely, feelings that did not ease even when Link would return to the house.

"You might feel better if you went somewhere," Link suggested to him one evening when he returned yet again to find Dark standing in the living room by himself, staring aimlessly out the window.

"I might feel better if you spent a day here with me," he had scowled in response, but Link had only shaken his head sadly and gone upstairs, leaving Dark to wonder how he could have thought this was for his benefit in the first place.

It also did not help that Link had not expressed any interest in him recently; their interactions seeming stiffer and more formal than they had been previously. When he had mentioned spending time apart, Dark assumed that meant only as far as their mission went, but it seemed to extend beyond that. The emotional distance between them was more draining than Dark would have thought possible, and he continued to be angry at himself for feeling that way. I don't need him, he thought savagely, but the unusual pang he felt at the words told him they were a lie.

If nothing else, the anger did fuel his desire to get good at something, even if it was not exactly what Link had intended. He was practicing magic daily now, surprisingly making good progress without the assistance of a hands-on instructor. The key to shadow magic, he had discovered with some chagrin, seemed to be fear. With his uncertainty over his future, this emotion was not in short supply, and he quickly learned how to channel it into the strange darkness that seemed to emanate from his hands.

At first, he was only able to use magic when there were shadows in the room to draw energy from, with it being the easiest to use at night when he was surrounded by nothing but darkness. He found he got tired too easily when he could only rely on himself for the power he needed, and it seemed to take a lot to generate even the smallest amount of magic. Still, by simply letting the magic flow through him, he found he could create clouds of darkness that covered him and everything he was near in impenetrable shadows. The darkness engulfed everything it touched, but it had yet to make anything disappear like what had happened in the underground cavern, save for the candlelight that glowed gently throughout the house every night. This, he supposed, was a good thing - Link would probably not thank him for making anything in his house disappear, especially when he had no idea if he could bring anything back from wherever it was banished to.

In time, he found the darkness did not necessarily have to come from him in order to control it. Shadows that danced on the walls could flicker into existence, turning into any shape he so desired with only his thoughts to guide them. Perhaps it was just his imagination, but he could have sworn that whatever casted the shadow also seemed to alter a bit as he did so, going a bit out of focus as he twisted the dark silhouettes with his mind. Whenever he lost his focus though, the normalcy of the objects and their shadows came rushing back, without leaving so much as a trace that he had done anything to them at all.

As much as he hated to admit it, he was glad Link was not around to witness him using his magic. His goal, even more than improving himself, was to impress Link - a feat which would have been made difficult if he was underfoot, watching Dark's every attempt at controlling his newfound power. It was bad enough that Link knew he was using it. He supposed he could sense it in the air, much the same way he had tried to teach Dark to feel around him not just with his senses, but with his mind and his magic. This, too, was something Dark wanted to get good at, but Link did not seem to use his magic often, and having not been able to feel it previously he was not entirely sure how to find a place where he would be likely to encounter it.

"You should really thank Shikashi, you know," Link reminded him one day when he came back earlier than expected, walking in to find Dark dissolving the last of the spell he had been practicing and glaring at him. "Without him, you wouldn't have found the key to your magic."

Shikashi. Dark had forgotten all about that old fool until now. He gritted his teeth together, resisting the urge to growl in frustration. All of this was his fault. If he had not sent them down to face those monsters Link had called Redeads, it was true he would not have unlocked his magic, but he also would not be spending all his time by himself. They had not found anything they were looking for in that underground grotto, and if Dark had not possessed what Link called a deaf ear to the creatures' hideous cries, they could have easily been killed. How could Link not have found Shikashi's involvement in that suspicious?

With increasing suspicion towards the reality of the events that occurred in Kakariko, and nothing more to practice in regards to his magic that he could think of, Dark knew exactly what his next course of action had to be. Link was carrying on part of the mission without him, going to the Gerudo Desert every day desperately seeking out the mysterious woman who had lent her magic to the cause or the map piece she had kept safe. Now, it was his turn to work by himself, taking over what they had started together in the remains of what was once a respectable Sheikah village. And the first step of that was going to be confronting Shikashi.

"You," he snarled when he located him, marching up to him and glaring at him menacingly. Something had not felt right to him when they first met, and that feeling did not ease upon seeing him again. Link might be willing to blindly trust people, but he was not.

"Ah, so you've returned," Shikashi said, not seeming at all phased by Dark's demeanor. He looked the same as he had when Dark had met him previously; he wore the same blue robe and hat, and was pacing around the village in the same sort of gliding manner.

"Bet you weren't expecting that, old man," Dark sneered at him. "We're tougher than you think."

"I'm certain that you are," he replied, sounding mildly impressed. "You and the Hero of Time make quite the pair, wouldn't you say?"

"Don't give me any of that crap," Dark said, growing more irritated by the second. "I want to know the real reason you sent us down there." That was the main reason he had come all this way, after all. There was something Shikashi had not told them, and he was going to find out what that was.

"Did you not find what you were looking for?" Shikashi asked innocently, smiling serenely at him.

"You never cared about what we were looking for," Dark said flatly. "And since you weren't smart enough to ask us about it then, I'm certainly not going to tell you now," he said in response to the man's slightly questioning look.

"So you didn't unlock your magic?" he inquired politely, and Dark stared at him in surprise, suddenly on edge.

"How did you -"

"Know?" Shikashi finished for him. "There are many things in this world which cannot be seen. That does not mean they cannot be felt. I think you found exactly what you were looking for," he said, pointing at Dark. "Even if you did not know you were looking for it." He no longer sounded like a feeble old man, but a fierce opponent on a battlefield, and Dark nearly reached back to check he had his sword on him in case he were to need it.

"I think there's something you aren't telling me," he said challengingly, tensing up as he prepared for what would undoubtedly be another unexpected response.

"You're right," Shikashi admitted, straightening up slightly. "There is much I have not told you, and much more I will not be telling you. But there are also some things you should know." He gazed unblinking at Dark, who frowned slightly. "Two nights from now, there will be a full moon." He looked up at the sky, and Dark followed his gaze, but saw nothing but clouds. "Meet me in the graveyard at midnight. If you make it there, alone and unarmed, I will tell you the answers you are searching for."

"Alone." Dark repeated. "And unarmed. At midnight. Two nights from now?" Shikashi nodded, and Dark scowled. "Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

"What I have to say is for your ears alone," Shikashi said stubbornly. "But I have no more intention of getting hurt than you do. You are too quick to draw your weapon," he said with a nod at the hilt of the sword that was just visible over Dark's shoulder. "It would be a shame if something were to accidentally happen."

"Especially if it were to happen in broad daylight," Dark hinted threateningly, taking a step towards him.

"What a temper you have," the old man commented, almost sounding proud. "If it would make you feel better, I will permit you to bring the eye of truth with you. It may not be a weapon, but I am sure you will find it useful."

Dark wondered for a moment what he meant by the eye of truth, before realizing he must be referring to the Lens of Truth that Link had allowed him to carry for some time. He had carried it on his belt as a source of comfort for so long that he forgot he still had it with him, and he glared at Shikashi as if offended that he had managed to notice such a small object on his person.

"Fine then, old man," he said shortly. "I'll bring it." He was sure it could be used to magnify his power in some way, and perhaps that was all the weapon he needed. He had already begun to walk away when Shikashi called him back, and he turned around, wondering why he was even considering this potentially dangerous plan.

"One more thing," he said cautioningly. "You're staying in Castle Town, are you not?" Dark glared at him but did not respond, not wishing to provide the man with more information than he needed. "That magic of yours has some great use," he said. "If you learn to blend in with the shadows, no doors or locks will ever be of concern to you again."

That actually does sound useful, Dark mused as he walked away. His immediate thought was, of course, that he could use such an ability to sneak past the drawbridge that shut off Castle Town from the rest of Hyrule every evening. But if his magic really did work in that fashion, where he would not be noticed by anyone, the use could go far beyond that. For some reason, he found his thoughts drifting to Link. If he were able to avoid detection, perhaps he could go with him to the Gerudo, or even find out information from them that they would not reveal to outsiders. Of course, it had some personal applications as well, and Dark could not help but grin as he imagined rising up from the shadows when Link least expected it.

With only two days to learn a skill he had not even known existed, it became his primary focus as soon as the sun began setting that evening. Shadows had to exist in order for him to blend in with them, he theorized. Unfortunately, nighttime typically brought something else besides the darkness with it, something that was not quite as welcome at present.

"Dark?" Link called as he stepped into the house, noticing that all of the lights were off. "Are you home?"

It was tempting to stay silent. If he said nothing, Link would likely go upstairs as he always did, leaving him alone to practice without interruption. But standing in the shadows was not quite the same as blending in with them, and before long the sound of his breathing had given him away.

"If you don't want to talk, that's fine," Link said uncomfortably. "I'm just making sure you're okay."

"Define 'okay'," Dark said grumpily, moving to stand by the window, where a bit of moonlight lit a narrow path across the room.

"Alive," Link said seriously. "The house is usually lit; I didn't know -"

"Your precious house is safe," Dark hissed at him. He did not know what about the darkness always unsettled everyone so. He felt more at home with the lights off than he thought Link felt there even with the lights on.

"You're..." Link started to say, but he trailed off at the angry expression on Dark's face. Though he might long to tell Dark that he was more precious to him than any home ever could be, it did not seem to be what he wanted to hear. "You're looking well," he said formally, to cover up his blunder.

"Damn right," Dark growled. They stood there, both glaring at each other, until finally Link could no longer take the agony of tension between them, and walked past him, heading towards the staircase.

Interactions of that kind had become common between them, and it always left Dark feeling strangely empty. Taking a deep breath, he let his power flow from him, wrapping him in the darkness that had become so familiar. He wanted to disappear right now; go somewhere Link couldn't follow him. What was it that old fool had said? That no doors or locks would ever bother him again? He could feel the shadows flickering across his skin, inviting him to join them. Let me in, he thought. To be one with the darkness would be to let go of pain; to forget the betrayal he experienced for his own feelings.

He moved towards the door, for he supposed he would need to pass through it in order to test his theory. Would it feel weird, to pass through a solid object? Probably, yes. A running start, one that would allow him to feel it for less time, seemed the proper way to go about this. He stepped back several paces, crouched slightly, and sprinted towards the closed and locked front door of the house.

Bang. He was on the ground, his head suddenly hurting. It had not worked, he surmised, for he was still inside, and he also appeared to have bounced off the door. Grumbling about the unfairness of unpredictable magic, he got to his feet, glaring at the entranceway. The shadows surrounding him had disappeared, and it was all the fault of this stupid door.

His first instinct was to kick at the door with all his might, letting it know it had offended him simply for existing and being in his way. But his time with Link had taught him some self-control; he knew kicking the door would only lead to a smarting foot and would not solve his problem. "I hate you," he growled at it, crossing his arms and reminding himself to take deep, even breaths. This would not do. With a strength he did not know he possessed, he called back the shadows. He had come to see them as their own beings, with their own thoughts and feelings, and he smiled as they invited him once more. Closer, he thought, and closer they got. He was not truly one with them the last time. He was sure that was the problem.

Time and time again he tried, rushing at the door only to bang into it, or stopping just short of it out of fear of smashing right through the door, not using his magic and somehow destroying the only thing that kept them safe from the world outside. He stopped after an hour. He had not succeeded in his attempts, but then, he had only been focusing on the door. Perhaps it was time to focus on the lock instead.

The lock seemed more like something he should ponder over outside, where he did not have easy access to unlock the door at any time, but he was determined to find the secret from inside. Could he not master such a task, he would not be able to say with any honesty he had truly figured out the power within him. He was humble enough to admit his first guess had likely been wrong. The shadows might cover him, but they did not grant him the invincibility he would need to walk through a solid panel of wood. It could be that they slipped into places he could not reach, such as a lock, and could be controlled even when out of sight.

It was true that he had some control over the shadows and their shapes. But the darkness that emanated from his hands and the shadows that danced on the walls were not the same. Despite multiple attempts, the solid darkness was unable to turn into a key of any kind, and the intangible shadows could not be forced through the lock.

Frustrated, Dark slammed the side of his fist into the door. At first, he wondered only why he had not felt it beneath him though he was sure he had made contact with it, but as he went to draw his arm back, he realized he could not, and peering through the shadows, his hand no longer seemed to be attached to his body.

With a yelp, he jumped away quickly; to his relief his hand coming with him. Rubbing it as if to reassure himself it was still there and functioning properly, he glanced back at the staircase, wondering if he had alerted Link to the fact he was still awake and practicing his magic. He was not sure how to explain what had happened even to himself, and the thought of trying to explain it to someone else made him feel oddly nervous. Steeling himself for what might happen, he stretched out his hand, drawing it back almost the moment it made contact with the door again. But there had been no weird sensation, no detachment of his fingertips, to indicate the strange occurrence had happened again. The whole ordeal was unsettling, he decided, and he deemed his practice to be done for the night.

His apprehension did not stop him from practicing the next night, for upon reflection he decided that disembodiment was exactly what he had been trying to do. His practice was done by candlelight this time - he needed to be completely sure of what he was seeing, and even though his night vision granted him the ability to make out more shapes than the average person, shadows against darkness did not come with any helpful definition.

It happened sooner this time than last, his hand sinking into the door after only a few minutes of silent communion with the shadows. His hand was not actually gone, to his great relief; rather it seemed to have become a shadow itself, dancing on the door just as the other shadows were flickering against the wall. Curious, he drew back, watching his hand form back into flesh. Was this something he could do with the rest of his body? And more importantly, if it was, would he cease to be himself, forever lost to the shadows?

It did occur to him to call Link; having someone who could pull him back out of the shadows with magic if necessary was extra insurance he would have found comforting. But he wanted to keep this a secret from Link as long as he possibly could. When Link had realized what a mistake it had been to go their own ways; when he finally called off this experiment, Dark wanted to be able to show him all he had learned without him. Without the shock factor something like this could give him, he was not sure Link would believe he had accomplished anything; was not sure Link would be proud of or impressed by him at all. And so, with a deep breath, he turned his back to the wall, bringing his hands together in a show of intense concentration and released them, spreading his arms wide and letting the wall catch him as he fell backwards.

He did not feel the wall holding him up, but he was aware that he had not actually fallen. He felt almost as if he had been locked into a different dimension; while he knew there was an open space in front of him he could only see it out of the corner of his eye. He took a step forward, and with some disconcertion realized he was being pulled sideways, his feet feeling as if they were balanced on a thin tightrope. Startled by the way he stumbled and yet seemed unable to fall, he opened his mouth and let out a silent scream; one he was sure could not be heard outside the shadow world he had become trapped in. His arms were locked into place on either side of him, helpless to rescue him from the wall which he was now afraid would become his prison. He had to get out, some way, somehow.

There. In front of him; a rift in this new world. It glowed gently with a light he was sure only he could see; it called to him, beckoning him forward. Still unsteady, he made his way towards it, letting the magic draw him to it rather than trying to walk himself. It was so close now, almost close enough that he could touch it. He was sure it was his way out, for it was the only thing he could see in this strange new place, and as he felt himself be pulled through he sighed in relief. At last, this nightmare was over.

As he toppled out from the wall, he plopped down on the ground, wondering if his legs would ever feel stable enough to walk again. What was that dimension he had just walked into? Was that the shadow world, the one his mind touched when he communed with them? He swallowed hard, reaching his hand out in front of him to reassure himself he was once more three-dimensional. Yes, there it was. Hard-packed dirt, and the feel of slightly moistened grass felt more comforting to him than he ever believed it could.

He stopped abruptly as soon as he realized what he was feeling, opening his eyes. Grass was not supposed to be inside Link's house, and come to think of it, his floors were made of stone, not dirt. With alarm, he looked this way and that. There was no doubt about it. He was outside, and next to him was the locked door to Link's house.

"Hey!" he cried, pulling himself to his feet. He stumbled and fell almost immediately, but found himself within reach of the doorknob when he stretched up. He jiggled the handle, confirming his worst fears before he began pounding on the door with his fist. "Let me in!" After a minute, he realized Link was likely not coming to his aid, and slumped to the ground, feeling like a failure. How had he ended up outside, anyway? He had been trying to find his way out. All he had done was follow the light.

The light, he realized. Things did not appear to him the same way when he had been in the wall as they did out here. The glowing rift he had seen, that must not have been his way out of that dimension - it must have been the thin crack between the door and the wall. It was his way outside. And yet, it had let him both through the door and out of the shadow world. Was it perhaps because he had been so focused on escaping? Was there a chance he could free himself without having to propel himself towards a rift that may or may not be there next time? If there even was a next time.

Lost in thought, he did not realize the door had opened until he felt a gentle nudge from above. He looked up, and saw Link staring down at him with concern. "Dark? Did you lock yourself out of the house?"

"No," Dark responded sarcastically, pulling himself to his feet. "I just fancied some fresh air, and now I'm being interrupted by you."

Link sighed, but offered his arm to Dark, who was clutching the side of the house for support. "How did you get out here, anyway? I didn't hear the door open."

"Oh, I see how it is," Dark said angrily, ignoring the offered arm. "You're spying on me." Like always, the words flew from him before he had a chance to think. He actually was grateful Link had come to find him. He dreaded the thought of having to do that trick again to get back inside.

"If I was spying on you, I would have known how you got outside." He watched the way Dark walked delicately back into the house, and sighing, followed him in and shut and locked the door behind him. "I just want to make sure you're safe. If you're doing something dangerous…"

"Is that really all you think I'm good for?" Dark said with a scowl. "Getting into trouble? Let me tell you something," he said, pointing angrily at Link. "Just because I've made mistakes the other times you weren't around doesn't mean I'm not capable of doing something right. And this is all starting to feel like one big trick to show me how worthless I really am." He took a shaky step towards Link, drawing his arm tentatively away from his support wall, only to stumble forward and be caught by the Hylian.

"Like it or not, Dark, I'm just trying to help you." Link said gently, feeling his arms wrap tighter around Dark unbidden as he stared into his ruby eyes. It was the closest they had been in weeks, and before he could even think, he had lifted a curious hand up to Dark's temple, tracing a pattern there.

"Some help you are," Dark snorted, but his words had lost some of their edge, and he found himself inspecting the features of Link's face almost eagerly, as if committing them to memory was something he had always wanted to do. He liked the feeling of Link's hand on him nearly as much as he had liked their kiss, and he could almost feel his frustration and fear melting away as they stood together.

"So you would prefer I left you outside?" Link asked, his words barely more than a whisper. "Or that I let you fall?" He was now caressing Dark's cheek, who closed his eyes as he leaned in slightly to Link's hand. "You shouldn't go out at night," he said. "There's a curfew in Castle Town for a reason."

"I don't care," Dark murmured, completely entranced by Link's gentle touch. What he did care about was the way in which Link was holding him, and the feel of his breath gently blowing on his face. He opened his eyes slightly, leaning in for a kiss, only for Link to immediately tense up, pulling back and turning his head to the side.

"Dark," he said, and the tension was evident not only in his body but his voice. "It's not that I don't want to, just...I don't think it's a good idea right now. Please," he begged. "Don't make this harder than it has to be."

"It doesn't have to be hard at all," Dark argued. "You're the one making it that way."

Link sighed, moving him closer to the furniture in the center of the room. "Someday, Dark," he said, disentangling himself from the Sheikah and setting him down gently on the couch, "you may well find yourself in the position to help someone by doing nothing more than standing on the sidelines. And when you do, you'll see that it's not about doing something that's easy or hard, it's about doing something right. Perhaps then, you'll understand why things need to be this way."

He wants me to hate him, Dark realized in surprise as he watched Link's retreating figure. He supposed there was a time when that was true; a time when he thought Link viewed his mission as nothing more than a chore, and saw him as little more than a project he needed to attend to. But he no longer believed he was simply a temporary intruder in Link's life; rather he felt like a valued friend, or perhaps even more. As such, he could not hate Link - but he could not deny that Link's every word and action these days seemed designed to turn him against him.

There was something Link had said to him once, something about magic and how it reacted when used against its opposite. Light no more repels darkness than water repels fire, or earth repels air, he had explained. Elements can exist only because of the harmony they have with their opposite. Without darkness, he had said, taking Dark's hand with a smile, there is no light. Hate, just like the elements, could not exist on its own. It had to be born of something, an opposite, and the opposite of hate was...

Love. The word echoed in his mind, and it clicked suddenly: how Link had told him he gave meaning to his life; the tenderness with which he kissed him; the pain his voice was wracked with when he said they could not be together. He did not simply like him. He loved him. Jumping to his feet, he looked up the stairs half-expecting to see Link looking down the landing at him.

What was love, anyway? Was it not wanting harm to come to someone? Was it caring about their happiness? Or was it a mix of the two, along with something more? He was no stranger to the emotion when it came to the bonds that kept his family strong, but in a romantic sense, he had no experience. He lifted his fingers gingerly to his lips, his hand falling limp after a moment. Love had brought him nothing but a lifetime of misery; misery which he wondered if Link was feeling now. It was easier to hate people when they hated you in turn; he could only surmise this was why Link had continually pushed him away since that day. "I don't hate you," Dark whispered, and to his alarm he felt wetness at the corner of his eye. "I never could."

But Link's love for him was only a theory. Without truth to back it up, he could not let it get in his way; could not let it distract him from his goal. He had more important things to focus on, like his magic, and how he could avoid being trapped in the shadow realm forever when using it. With resolve he did not know he possessed, he clenched his hands into fists, reaching out and into the darkness, letting it take him with it, carrying him onto his destination. "You will not stop me," he whispered, and with his words echoing in the emptiness, he was gone.


IN CLOSING

Time for some exciting news, everyone - I'm getting married next week! Due to the timing of our wedding and stay-at-home "honeymoon", I may be going on semi-hiatus. If I do more writing than I anticipate during that time, I'll still post new chapters regularly, but there is a chance my schedule may a bit strange for the next two to three weeks - but no more so than it has been for the last couple updates. Thanks for understanding!

Don't forget to check back for Chapter 32. Thank you for reading / following / favoriting / reviewing!