Chapter 30 – How Am I Gonna Be An Optimist About This?
Note: Chapter Title from Bastille's song 'Pompeii'
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters.
Now that that's out of the way, let's begin…
Last time,
Draco smirks, "Then in two days, Dumbledore falls."
Now,
They don't sit together on the train, they never do. But every Reaper feels the connection to the others as they ride back to Kings Cross for the end of their second term. It's hard to believe that it's only been two terms since this all started, less for many of them. But Harry feels as though he's been waiting years.
Eventually, they make it, and Harry has the strange experience of being met at the train station by his Dad. He'd elected to go back to Grimmauld Place rather than supposedly Malfoy Manor, though it actually would have been the old Riddle House, this time. Harry had needed to be with the Order for his plan to work, not with his Father as much as he'd like to be. Still, for all that this decision was made tactically, Harry feels a deep longing in his chest as he meets Sirius' eyes across the station. He stares at him for a minute, then walks over and hugs him.
"Are you all right, Harry?" Sirius asks him, hugging the boy back.
"I'd do anything for you, you know that, don't you?"
Sirius frowns, "Of course I do, and I for you." Harry nods, pulling back. Soon after, they all leave to head back to Grimmauld Place.
"Benoit!" Harry calls as he jogs to catch up to the boy once they've arrived.
Benoit turns around, crossing his arms defensively and looks at Harry with anger and hurt in his eyes.
"Can we talk? Privately?" Benoit continues frowning and walks into his bedroom, allowing Harry to follow in after him. "I'm sorry about before. Honestly, Benni, I don't remember what happened. It's complicated, but I swear, I would never have willingly upset you."
"So, what, someone put a gun to your head and made you tell me that we aren't family because we aren't blood?"
Harry's eyes widen, "I said that?" He asks quietly. "Benni, I don't think that at all. You are my cousin, so is Neville. So is Blaise, I guess, since he's your brother. Never thought about that," Harry says before shaking his head and focusing on Benoit again. "Someone put a spell on me, it's complicated, like I said. But really and truly, anything I said is quite literally the opposite of what I really think."
Benoit bites his lip, debating. Then nods a tad nervously. Harry holds his arms out and, after another moment of deliberation, Benni darts forward and hugs Harry tightly. "I'm glad you're back."
Harry hugs him closely, "I am too. I know I upset you, but it wasn't me. I'm here for you, Benni. When it's me, I'm always here. And hopefully, the person who cursed me won't be a problem for much longer."
Benni freezes, something twigging in his brain. "Y-You're him," he says, pulling back, "You're Inimicus."
"What? Benni, that's ridiculous."
"No, no, it's not. You like Werewolves, that's why you helped Dannie. And this all started after Uncle Padfoot died, you snapped or something, you must have. I pissed off Dumbledore, then you see him as well and then you're under some kind of spell that oppotises your beliefs just like the one that was put on Jamie's mother? That's not a coincidence!"
"I don't think oppotises is a word," Harry replies.
"Tais-toi!"
"I don't speak French."
"I said 'Shut up'," Benoit tells him, "You're trying to stop Dumbledore because you blame him for Uncle Padfoot's death."
Harry observes him for a moment, then shakes his head, "Oh I blame him for a lot more than that."
"I want to help." Harry's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "If you've been watching him then you've seen the way he bullies my Papa, pushes him around, guilts him into blaming himself for deaths he had no control over. I'm not a fool, I know evil when I see it."
"What would you know of evil?" Harry asks him, concerned, not judgemental.
"I feel it, every day," Benoit replies, "I had a twin brother once. You say his name in front of anyone who knew him and they flinch in fright and disgust. He tortured my parents and tried to murder me at seven years old. At seven years old the Minister quite gladly sentenced him to Azkaban and I can feel it. Because that's what happens with magical twins. There's a soul deep connection that no amount of hatred or insanity can sever, and I have searched for ways. There are none. I know evil, it's intertwined within me and I will do whatever I can to fight it off. Let me help defeat your evil. Then maybe you can help me defeat mine."
Harry looks him over, then he nods. "Dumbledore will be finished come tomorrow, but there will be a lot of fall out. We'll use the destabilisation to build a better foundation. A better world. For everyone."
"Even people like my parents? Non-Humans?"
"Everyone."
Harry is about to leave when Benni grabs his arm, "Erm. When you were under the effects of the spell…well, I'd gone to talk to you about something when you snapped at me."
Harry frowns, taking a seat, "How can I help?"
Benni smiles at him, "See, that's the response I was expecting, far more than 'don't you have a sister you can write to'." Harry winces at that slightly, Benni sighs, "Sorry. Anyway. I…" Benni trails off, biting his lip again.
Harry takes his hands, "Hey, you can talk to me about anything, Benni. That's what family is for. That's what you, and Jamie, and Uncle Moony taught me."
"Yeah," Benni says with a nod, "It's just, I've been having these thoughts…feelings…" Benni folds into himself slightly, "Like, maybe I'm not who I'm supposed to be."
"In what way?"
Benoit grabs his elbow nervously before he takes a deep breath and tries to summon up some kind of genetic bravery from his Gryffindor Father, "I don't think I was meant to be a boy."
Harry's eyes widen, "Oh." Benni looks at him nervously. For a moment, he feels the same disgust he had felt when he first met Remus and was faced with a homosexual, luckily he is disciplined enough now that it does not show on his face even as he internally feels a grimace. Then he looks at his cousin, really looks, and as suddenly as it came, the feelings of disgust left. Harry smiles, "Benni, there's nothing wrong with that. Do you feel like you're a girl?" Benni nods anxiously. Harry smiles again, nodding, surprised and relieved that he really is okay with this. Maybe he truly can move on from Uncle Vernon's toxic presence. "Then you're a girl."
"But I'm not though, I just should be."
"There are things that can be done to change your body, probably more in the magic world. You'd have to talk to your parents about it."
"How? I mean…I shouldn't be like this," Benni tells him, tears in his eyes, "People will think I'm a freak."
Harry freezes momentarily, he remembers the first time he heard his name, only knowing himself as 'freak' before then. "Come with me."
"Hey Ginny!" Harry calls out, holding Benni's hand as they walk down the hallway and knock on Ginny's door.
Ginny opens it, standing there with a bra and trousers on but no shirt. "I'm getting changed Harry, is it important?"
"Yep, do you have a dress in my size?"
Ginny quirks an eyebrow but allows them both into her and Hermione's room. She looks through her closet before coming back with a black long-sleeved dress that stops at knee-length and has sunflowers on it. "This should fit."
Harry takes off his jeans and his shirt and puts the dress on, standing in front of a mirror and looking at himself. "Oh my God, do I have my mother's legs?" He asks.
"Lady legs," Ginny says with an amused snort, she grabs some brown boots with a small heel and chucks them to him. He puts them on. "Oh yeah, definitely got her legs."
Benni snickers from the bed he's sat on.
"Okay, I think Mrs Weasley's probably got dinner going, want to go help set the table?" Ginny throws a shirt on and then all three go down to the dining room.
"Need any help, Mum?" Ginny asks as they walk in.
Molly responds without looking up, "As a matter of fact, if you could get the plates," She looks over to point to the plates in question and narrows her eyes, "Harry James Potter, what do you think you are wearing?! You'll catch a chill! Ron's jumper is there on the chair, put it on!"
"I love this woman," Harry says quietly as he grabs the aforementioned jumper and puts it on.
"Right, now, you get the plates, Benni the placemats, and Ginny, you're on cutlery."
"Yes Mum/Mrs Weasley."
Molly looks to Benni in shock. He's confused for a moment before he realises, "Oh, yeah, I talk now."
"Hey, have you been signing in French or English?" Harry asks as the three set the table.
"I know BSL and LSF, that's the British and the French version. I've used the French except at Hogwarts where I use the British."
"Nice boots, Harry," Hermione says as she walks into the room.
"Look better on you than on Ginny," Ron replies.
"Hey!" Ginny complains, throwing a placemat at him.
"I just put that down!" Benni groans.
"Well he started it," Ginny defends.
"Don't blame me for your bad temper!"
"Do I have to separate all three of you?" Molly asks them. Benni, Ginny, and Ron all shake their heads sheepishly.
"Are we interrupting something?" Sirius asks as he and Remus walk into the room to find the three in trouble.
"It's sorted now," Hermione tells them.
"Harry, why are you in a dress?" Sirius asks him, then frowns, "No, scratch that. Moony, why did I never think to wear a dress? Lily had some gorgeous ones. I would've looked swell in those."
"Well, you and Marley did agree once that you'd make a great woman. Remember, when you first heard about Phia and asked if my sister is hot only to find out she's a lesbian?"
Harry drops the plate he's holding. "Son. Of. A. Bitch. YOU'RE AUNTIE PHIA'S BROTHER?!"
Remus looks mildly alarmed at being yelled at but nods, "Yes. You know, I forgot she was allowed to go see you for a few years in the beginning."
"Yes, and then she never came back. I assume Uncle Vernon banned her or something, they did have an argument," Harry says, thinking back, "Don't know what about. All I remember is being excited because I'd cooked bacon on my own for the first time."
"Mate, I still can't even do that," Ron admits.
Harry chuckles at him, "I'd offer to teach you but your Mum's is way better anyway."
"Hold on, Phia stopped being able to see you before Severus and I were married. That was a decade ago. You'd have been, what, five?" Remus asks him.
"Yeah, it was a few days before I started school."
"I see why they argued," Sirius says in a carefully controlled tone.
"What do you mean?" Harry asks.
"Harry, tell me, would you leave Little Benni in a kitchen to cook bacon on his own with no supervision?"
"No, I mean he's perfectly capable but…still, I mean no offence Benni, but you're eleven and bacon spits."
"Right, so would you even consider leaving a five-year-old to do it?" Hermione asks.
"Of course not," Harry replies, then his eyes light up, "Ohhhh, yeah, okay, I get it." Harry looks nervous suddenly, "I-If Auntie Phia is your sister, does that mean you have a way of contacting her?"
"Yes, of course."
"Hold on, hold, the butthole, on," Benni suddenly says, everyone looks at him in surprise, "That sounded better in my head but more importantly. Perè, since when do you have a sister?"
Remus scratches the back of his head awkwardly, "Literally the day I was born, she's a twin, we stopped talking for about a decade but recently got back in touch?"
"HOW HAVE I NEVER HEARD ABOUT THIS?!" Benni yells, it's an odd moment to realise it's the first time he has yelled in four years.
"Well, I didn't think we'd ever speak again so, what was the point?"
"What happened that could have possibly stopped you speaking? Jamie literally aided a murderer and I was like, whatevs."
"Sirius was innocent."
"Still illegal, though!"
Remus sighs, "Are Moody or Tonks around?"
"What did you do?" Ron asks him. Remus looks confused. "You wouldn't be asking about the resident Aurors if what happened had been legal."
"Let's just all sit down, okay?" Remus suggests, they all do, Mary joining the room and staying quiet as she feels the tense atmosphere. "Twenty years ago I had this boyfriend, Derek. He was…a butthole," Remus tells them, sending Benni an amused look. His cheeks flush slightly. "He ended up in prison and I helped put him there. When he got out, he kidnapped my sister."
"Derek kidnapped Phia?!" Sirius exclaims, "When were you gonna mention that?"
"Never?" Remus offers.
Sirius glares at him, "Are you kidding me?"
Remus sighs, summoning a drink and draining it before continuing his story. "Phia's best friend, Harry's Aunt Petunia, came down while it was all happening. She had been the one to originally press charges against him and we were concerned he'd go after her." Remus clears his throat, "She told me to go find Phia and I said no because I couldn't risk the exposure of the magical world."
"That doesn't sound like you," Ginny says, frowning.
"It used to," Sirius replies, surprised to hear that side of Remus was present after the war.
"Yes, well, it didn't take much to convince me otherwise. I went after them and did what I had to to save my sister from my own stupid mistake. She couldn't face me after that, said she never wanted to see me again, and for ten years we never spoke."
"Why did you start again?" Harry asks, knowing it takes a lot to get over things that push people away that much.
"Well her husband died and his cousin was trying to take over the country, she and Sev made a plan because it turns out they'd continued talking for that decade behind my back but that's a whole nother story, anyway," Remus says, everyone seeming various levels of uncomfortable and amused. "Anyway, she needed my help to secure her place as Queen of Vienna and we're on, well, as good terms as we ever are."
"I thought you said she was a lesbian?" Harry asks.
Remus nods, "Yeah, I don't know, wasn't there. Ask Severus, he might."
"You're so bitter," Sirius says with a chuckle.
"Yes, bitter old man," Remus replies with an amused smile.
"Ew, don't be cute," Ginny complains.
"Right, okay, Harry, you were asking something?" Benni reminds him.
"Yeah, could we maybe…see her? I-I miss her," Harry says, wincing slightly at that. It's the first indication anyone can remember of Harry actively seeking out a familial connection, none of the room's occupants having been there when he opened up to Severus about his Mother.
"I haven't seen her since the whole taking over a country thing. About time for a visit I think," Remus tells him with a smile. Harry smiles happily.
"Hey, why don't you call her now?" Sirius suggests. Remus shrugs and pulls out his phone, dialling the number and putting the phone on speaker, assuming Sirius and Harry will want to be a part of the conversation.
"Eyy, if it isn't my favourite arsehole, we were just talking about you," Phia says as she answers the phone.
Remus rolls his eyes, "And this is why we've never gotten along well." Harry snickers.
"Who's there with you?" Phia asks sounding confused.
"Hi, Auntie Phia," Harry says when Remus nods at him.
"Harry!" Phia responds ecstatically, "How are you?"
"I'm great, with Uncle Moony and my Dad," Harry explains to the shock of the room, Sirius smiling with pride and happiness.
"Oh, the Mutt is there too, is he?" Phia asks fondly.
"Oi!" Sirius complains.
"I'm glad you're alive, Sirius. And innocent."
"Said so," Remus throws in.
"Yeah, you also said that the gym and library fires were accidents."
"They were!"
"I realise you're in separate countries but I swear to God, I will separate you two," Sirius says sternly. "That argument can go for a while," Sirius explains to the others.
"Oh sod you. How's Hogwarts, Harry? Is it good? Have you made friends?"
"Yes, ones that broke my living room and pulled some kind of magical prank on my son," They hear muttered in the background.
Harry's eyes widen, "Aunt Petunia?"
"We didn't mean to break the living room," Ron comments.
"Even if they did, you were kinda being a bitch," Phia mutters, they hear a huff in the background that they assume is Petunia not bothering to argue against that but being annoyed all the same. Harry shares a grin with his friends.
Remus buries his face in his hands. "Phia, Harry and I were wondering if you wanted to catch up sometime soon?"
"Well, I'm back in England in a few days to help with a divorce lawyer and have dinner with your prime minister, we could meet up for lunch or something? Either that or you two, and your mutt should you so choose, could come here?"
"Wait, divorce lawyer?" Remus asks in confusion.
There's some quiet muttering before Phia's voice becomes clear again, "Yes, Vernon and Petunia have…separated."
"…Did not see that one coming," Harry states, bewildered.
"Is Pet okay?" Sirius asks.
"She will be, now that she's not under the iron thumb of that homophobic self-important piece of –"
"Children in the room, Phia!" Remus interrupts.
"Harry's fifteen, Loopy."
"Don't start with the Loopy again, swear to God," Remus says, massaging his head. "And I wasn't talking about Harry. Benni's in the room too."
There's silence on the other end, then Petunia's voice come through, "Phia's having a bit of a moment," She says, "Something about suddenly realising that babies grow up even when you weren't around to see it." There's a small scuffle and then, "Hey, don't snatch, what are you, a toddler?"
"How are they? Benoit and Sevrin, I mean, and Jamie."
Remus freezes as Sirius turns to him, "Who's Sevrin?"
"Just another person to turn on the ones who care for them," Remus whispers. He forgoes the glass entirely and just takes a few gulps from the bottle of whiskey, not even noticing the burn anymore.
"I don't think that's going to help, Remus," Sirius tells him.
"Sure it will. Brain goes fuzzy and I don't have to remember."
"Has his drinking really gotten that bad again?" Phia questions.
Sirius sighs, massaging his nose, "Did James ever tell you about that time we found him on the bathroom floor and honestly thought he was dead for a solid minute?"
"Yeaaaaaaah…" Phia responds, drawing out her answer nervously.
"Yeah."
"Jesus," Phia mutters.
"It's not that bad," Remus replies, words running together just a little.
"Porfuna."
"Lupjut!" Remus glares at the phone, everyone can practically feel Phia glaring back.
"Are you two done twinning?" Sirius asks. Remus rolls his eyes but nods. "We'd love to see you while you're back in the country, Phia."
"Gre-" Phia's sentence gets cut off and a small kerfluffle of noise is heard on her side of the throne. "Fick alles," She says in German before switching back to English, "I have to go, some idiot just tried to break into the Palace. I'll see you soon, Loopy. Good to hear from you, Harry, I'm glad you're okay."
"See you soon, Aunt Phia!" Harry replies before the call drops.
Sirius waits a moment before turning to his partner, "Look, if this is one of those don't ask me, talk to Severus for details things then just –"
"Non!" Benni calls desperately, "Ne parle pas à Papa!" Benni takes a deep breath, shaking his head.
"Okay, okay, I won't. Is it something you can tell me about?" Sirius asks, noticing Remus spaced out. He takes his hand and gets a light squeeze in response but nothing more.
Benni curls in on himself, biting his lip but finding himself unable to make words, once more afraid of his voice. He knows, this time, the feeling will fade. But for now…he just can't.
"No, it isn't," Harry replies for his cousin, "But Benni's told me enough that I can explain who he is and why none of them should be asked about it if it can be at all avoided. Just not now, and not around them," He says. Sirius nods, accepting that and reaching across to take Benni's hand comfortingly as well.
That night the Reapers of the house get together, getting out the enchanted parchment to coordinate the end game with the others, only the others urgently request that they postpone plans. It's Blaise that requests they all meet up urgently.
We found something.
Found what?
Bad.
"So where the hell do we meet up?" Ginny asks the group.
"I've got an idea," Ron tells them all.
Meet on the Knight Bus. Top level.
Understood
Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and Little Benni sneak out of the house, hail the Knight Bus, and climb to the top. It stops three times before Draco joins them.
"Figured it was less likely to be noticed if only one of us was absent," Draco explains when Ron questions the absence of Blaise and Pansy.
"Fairo. So, why the sudden meeting?" Ginny questions, getting down to business immediately.
Draco sighs, rubbing at his forehead for a moment in an uncharacteristic show of stress. "Look, it's complicated, but essentially Pansy found reference to a location that we believed to be important." Draco holds a hand up to stop the questions, "I told you, it is complicated and we don't have time for me to explain it all right now," He tells them harshly. They all pipe down, Harry nods for him to continue. "Right, so we checked it out, that was our second mistake. We foun-" Before Draco can even finish the word, the Knight Bus lurches as something impacts it, rolling to its side before something collides with it again.
Harry, having lost his glasses in the fall when the bus went sideways, sees a fuzzy blob moving towards him and he realises the bus has been boarded. Before he can do anything, he hears someone say 'stupefy' and he knows no more.
When Harry wakes up, he hasn't even properly registered the fact that he is conscious again before someone is helping him sit up.
"Harry, thank God," Hermione mutters.
"Mio?" Harry asks, squinting his eyes at her despite knowing it was fruitless. Still, he had lived the first 9 years of his life without glasses, he could deal with it now. It would just make escape a tad more difficult.
"You know, I've actually never thought to ask how much you can see without your glasses," Draco states, sounding a little surprised as he realises this.
"Not a hell of a lot," Harry replies, looking vaguely in the direction of Draco's voice, but evidently he is too far away for Harry to pinpoint, even within the confines of the cell. Harry knew his eyesight was getting worse as he got older, but he hadn't truly recognised by how much.
"Well, that should aid in halting any escape attempts you feel the need to make," Voldemort's voice comes from what Harry assumes is the doorway based on the increased light around him, helping Harry see a vague shape of his blob.
Harry stands up, facing him without fear despite his current vulnerability. "What do you want, Father?"
"I'm going to offer you a choice, Harrison, and I will only offer it once," Voldemort replies, ignoring Harry correcting his name entirely, "Join me, or remain a prisoner."
For a moment, Harry genuinely feels like a child. He doesn't want to alienate his Father, and isn't that a ruddy shock to him. He frowns, trying to think tactically.
"Harry?" Benni half-whispers, shocked that he is hesitating.
"Let my friends go."
"This is not a negotiation, Harrison. It is simple, you are with me, or you are against me."
Harry scoffs, "The only person I stand against is bloody Dumbledore."
"Then join me in killing him!" Voldemort demands.
"Don't you get it, Father? The best way to do that is from the inside and there is no one he believes to trust him blindly more than me," Harry tries to explain, unsure what is even happening in this conversation anymore. "Joining you would not destroy Dumbledore, it would just mean betraying my friends." Harry hesitates for a moment, a plan forming in his mind. "We were just getting to know each other, Father. Don't make me choose."
"Life is full of hard choices, and I do believe you have made yours. As have you."
Harry internally smirks as he hears the door close though he has no idea who that last bit was aimed at considering he cannot see who Voldemort looked to.
"What's with that look? That went terribly," Hermione tells him, "And now F-…erm, Lord Malfoy, has lost his son."
"Maybe he'll betray Voldemort too, now?" Ron suggests, Harry realising that Draco had been the one his Father was referring to.
Draco scoffs, "Yeah, no, not gonna happen. It's part of that whole complicated thing I was not talking about earlier. Trust me, that won't be happening."
"Then what do we do?" Ginny asks the room.
Harry tilts his head to the side slightly, instantly garnering the attention of his Reapers though he cannot see that. "We wait."
Back at Grimmauld Place, everyone is frantic.
"No one's got any idea where they might have gone?!" Molly asks desperately.
George cringes in anticipation, "Harry went to meet Malfoy somewhere. He was pretty certain they wouldn't be found but the others went with him just in case something went wrong."
"WHY WOULD YOU LET THEM GO?!" Molly yells angrily.
"Because Harry relies on the Malfoys a lot right now, he made the decision to be here with Sirius instead this holidays but you have to understand Mum, this isn't his home anymore. Despite the fact that he and Malfoy barely get along on the best of days, Harry missed him. And I'm pretty sure he missed Harry too if he was willing to risk it. The others were trying to keep him safe and I stayed behind so that I could tell you all what happened if something went wrong, which I am."
Everyone falls silent while they mull that over before Remus sighs, "Draco must have been followed. We have to get them back."
"We don't even know where the hell they are," Tonks points out.
"Harry has consistently gotten in the way of Voldemort's plans, but he isn't going to kill him. Which means he's going to keep them in the most secure place he controls," Remus replies as he paces back and forth, "And we know where that is," He says, voice shaking slightly.
"The cell complex where they kept you," Kingsley says, Remus nods.
"Can you handle this, Lupin?" Moody asks him bluntly.
Remus doesn't hesitate, "My kid is in there, Alastor. For him, I can handle anything." He knows that hasn't always been true, but he's better than he's been in a very long time. He feels the same strength and determination fill him that he remembers feeling when he overcame his panic back when Severus was bullying two muggle-born kids.
Moody recognises the look in his eye and nods. "Welcome back."
Remus smirks.
