Author's Note: This is not the end, but we are getting really close. One or two more chapters. I am contemplating a time jump and then an epilogue so quote possible 2 more chapters to this story. I hope to be picking up a sequel to The Substitute and possibly start posting another story I have been working alongside this one.
Brittany never imagined she would be at another funeral in such a short time. Within a year, she had lost her mother, moved to another state, started college, fell in love, and lost her father. She'd gone through so many emotions: anger, denial, depression. She had even bargained with the universe and let whatever come her way. Now, she was looking at her father being lowered to the grown. She thinks about her father, his letters, and the moments they shared in the past eight months. She wonders if he knew she loved him. Silently she says it to him as the dirt is shoveled into the grave. She closes her eyes. This is what the universe had in store. She did not understand it, but she accepted that this was the way things were, and there was nothing she could do to change that.
She looks over at Santana through her watery eyes and notices Santana is deep in thought, too. Brittany witnesses as Santana closes her eyes and lets her tears fall. Wanting and needing to comfort her, Brittany reaches out and holds her hand. Santana looks at her, and their eyes lock. Brittany sends a silent promise to get through this together.
With each pile of dirt that is shoveled into her father's grave, the less time she has left with him.
Soon, guests are coming up to them, extending their condolences. One by one, people leave, including their friends, until it was just them.
Santana's head is now resting on her shoulder, something Santana often did whenever she wanted to feel closer to her. Brittany kisses the top of her head before resting hers on Santana's.
"I want to tell him," Brittany whispers aloud. "Even after everything, I still want to tell him about us."
Santana lifts her head to look at Brittany. She had no idea Brittany had not yet told her dad like she had done so already. Santana nods and whispers back an okay. A small smile makes its way onto Brittany's face, and she can't help but smile back.
"Dad," Brittany starts. "You once told me that love was worth fighting for when it was fighting for you. You also told me to find what makes me happy and never to let it go, and that I should be open for forgiveness."
Santana listens as she takes in a deep breath and blows it. Her emotions are still running high. She squeezes Brittany's hand in support.
"I found all of that in the most unexpected place in one of the most difficult years of my life. I don't know what would have happened to you and I had you still been around, but I am holding onto your words to get me through this, and I am opening myself up for forgiveness. I forgive myself for the things I-we did behind your back. I-," she takes a breath and releases it, willing herself to finish what she has to say. "I hope that you forgive me wherever you are. Your letter gives me hope."
Brittany turns to look at her. Her sad blue eyes have this spark in them. It makes her wish Brittany's blue eyes never stop looking at her.
"I'm happy, dad. Santana-she makes me so happy. And I'm in love."
Santana can't help but cry as Brittany looks at her and tells her dad about them.
"Through this messy situation, I found out that I- we are going to be moms. Me. I-I am going to be a mom. I should be freaking out, but I'm excited because I won't ever be alone in this world."
Santana can't stop her rapidly beating heart and the butterflies in her stomach as Brittany happily expresses herself. She seemed happy yesterday, but after their talk, they had gotten to bed and cuddled before falling asleep. This morning, they were busy getting ready for the funeral, so they hadn't yet talked, but hearing Brittany so happy made her smile grow even as Brittany turned to look at her father's tombstone.
"I hope to be as good of a parent as you were. I want to make you proud."
Santana knows Brittany will. She knows how much David loved Brittany and how proud of her he was.
"We're going to be okay, Dad. Rest easy."
A few moments more pass in comfortable silence until Brittany announces she's ready to go home. On their way home, Santana holds Brittany's hand.
"So uh, I have meant to tell you about your dad's assets. Today has been a long day, and I hadn't found the right time." She waits and continues once Brittany nods. "Your father had most of his will stuff settled, which is why he had that letter written already, but I did manage to make some changes to some assets that he had left me." She brings Brittany's hand to her lips and kisses it. "I married your dad for money, and that wasn't right," Santana says solemnly.
She wishes she had done the right thing from the very beginning. She wishes she's never married David or that she made a profile on that sugar daddy website. It was a stupid thing, but she forgives herself.
"San, you-"
"I wanted to. David had some businesses with me. You're co-owner now. He also has his company, which some employees are currently managing. Whenever you are ready to take on the responsibility, you can take over. Your dad wanted to leave the option open for you. He wanted you to be happy even if it meant not working at his company."
At a red light, Brittany lifts her chin and kisses her quickly before facing the road again. Santana has little time to react before Brittany pulls away but smiles when Brittany puts her left hand on her abdomen. Her smile grows when Brittany's thumb begins to caress her stomach.
When they arrive home, the empty spot between Santana's car and the turquoise mustang that now belongs to Brittany serves as a reminder that the vehicle is no longer there. It had been totaled in the accident. Brittany looks to Santana, who is already looking at her, waiting and wondering what to say or do. Brittany smiles sadly at her.
"It's been a long day. Let's change into our sweats and cuddle. Just relax for the rest of the day."
"Sounds perfect," Santana says with a small smile.
The two of them are soon curled up on Brittany's bed as they rest on their side. Brittany spoons Santana, and her hand rests protectively on Santana's stomach under her shirt's hem. Santana's hand rests on top of hers.
Brittany has missed this. She's missed having her body pressed against Santana's. It still marvels her mind how well they fit together like two puzzle pieces that fit together no matter what direction they are pushed together.
Her smile grows. This beautiful woman is having her babies. Babies. More than one. She lost her mom and dad in the same year, but now she has her own family.
"When do we find out the sexes?" she whispers into Santana's ear.
"Three weeks. I already have the appointment."
Brittany bites her lip, preventing her smile from growing too big. She still feels a bit guilty about being this happy, but she can't help it. Almost as quickly as happiness filled her, worry and doubt do too.
Brittany still can't believe someone loves her enough to want children with her. She, the girl some considered a freak when she was younger. She, the girl that some still considered some freak of nature because she's different.
Suddenly she feels the urge to make sure Santana wants this. She could have anyone in the world. Santana is 25, and she's recently turned 18. She's got so much to learn. Shit, so does Santana, but Santana's got a job and a degree. She, on the other hand, has only just begun6 college. As of some hours ago, she's learned she's inherited a lot, but she still has her studies to finish. Was Santana okay with waiting for her to grow up?
"Are you sure this is what you want? A family with me?"
The last words were quieter than she had expected them to be.
Santana shifts and turns to face her, and she brings her hands to the sides of her face as brown eyes look into hers.
"Where is this coming from?" She hears Santana whisper to her.
Brittany feels the tears forming in her eyes as she shrugs but continues to speak in a whisper.
"I'm scared you'll realize I'm not worth it. You're older. You have your degree and a job. I'm just barely starting. What if you realize you don't want to wait for me to get all those things? What if one day you don't find all my childish ways cute?"
Brittany bites her lower lip as she looks at Santana with uncertainty, but all Santana does is smile at her.
"Like that would ever be possible."
Santana closes the distance between them and softly kisses her lips.
"I meant it when I said we aren't a mistake. You are my person, my lobster, my soulmate. Everything you are, inside and out, means everything to me. There is no one like you, babe, and I can't think of anyone else I want to do this with."
Brittany can't help how the corners of her mouth turn upward to form a smile.
She closes the gap between them and kisses Santana softly.
"I love you, too," Brittany whispers onto her lips before kissing her again. Slowly, she moves Santana onto her back as she rests her body on top of hers. Brittany moves her lips to Santana's jawline and down her neck, between her chest, while shifting her body lower and lower. She slowly lifts the shirt to reveal her stomach. Her eyes look up at Santana, who is looking at her. Both of Santana's hands come to her head. Brittany brings her hands and places them gently on the strong but slightly swelling abdomen.
"There are babies in here," she whispers in pure amazement to Santana, who only smiles back and nods at her.
Brittany shifts her focus to her belly before closing her eye and placing a long, tender kiss on it. That kiss is followed by many, many kisses on her stomach that she places all over. It is enough to make Santana giggle. The sound only makes Brittany's smile grow so much that her face hurts.
For the first time, she doesn't feel guilty about being so happy.
She repositions herself so that she is facing Santana, who has her hands cradling her face. Her arms keep her hovering above Santana.
"I love you," Brittany repeats, needing Santana to hear it.
"I love you, too," she hears repeated back to her before she closes the gap again.
This is what she wants, too. She can't think of anyone else she wants to have this with. She kisses Santana more profoundly, basking in the fact that she can still do that. She licks along Santana's lower lip, begging for entrance, which is granted almost immediately. She enters her tongue and explores Santana's mouth, savoring the taste of her sweet mouth. Santana moans into the kiss, and her hands tangle in her hair. Brittany moans at this. Their kisses are growing too hot and too passionate. She knows they aren't ready to have sex. She slows the kiss down and pulls away but keeps their faces close. Both of them have their eyes closed as they try to catch their breaths. Brittany gives her chaste kisses as they breathe into each other's faces.
All she can think about is how she wants this forever. Her heart fills with pride repeating the words Santana has just told her. Santana called her her person, her lobster, her soulmate.
Brittany caresses her cheeks with her thumbs as she kisses her forehead and pulls away. She opens her eyes and watches as Santana slowly opens her eyes to look at her. She smiles at Santana, and Santana smiles back at her.
"My person, my lobster, my soulmate," she repeats with her smile growing with each word. "You are all those things to me, too. I love you with everything that I am."
The way Santana looks at her reminds her of another thing. They are not a mistake. They never were, and they are never going to be.
The two had planned to take it easy this New Year's Eve, but Quinn insisted Santana meet up with her for lunch. Santana agreed, thinking it would be the best time to update Quinn on her pregnancy news. She nervously waits as she drinks her iced coffee for her best friend to arrive. She is not sure how Quinn will take the pregnancy, especially since the last time she spoke before the day at the hospital was when Quinn had admitted that she had loved her and hoped once upon a time that she and Santana would have worked out. When Santana notices Quinn appear at the entrance, she gets up to let her know where to look. It takes about a minute for Quinn to see her, but her smile widens as Quinn approaches her. Santana missed her best friend so much, and it's only now that she realizes how much.
She stands when Quinn is a few feet from her, and they greet each other with a hug.
"Oh, it's so good to see you," Quinn whispers in her ear as she pulls away.
"I missed you, too, Quinn," Santana responds as they both sit down.
The waiter quickly approaches them and asks Quinn what she'd like to drink before leaving again.
"How are you? How have you been?" Quinn asks her.
Santana sighs and shakes her head as she thinks about all the things in the past month.
"It's been terrible, but each day gets a little better."
"How's Britt? How is she doing with everything?
"She's taking it day by day, but she's adjusting well. There are moments where she'll be reticent, and she'll tell me something about one of her parents." Santana pauses and bites her lip as a small smile forms on her lips.
Santana blushes when Quinn lifts her eyebrow at her in a teasing manner.
"There's something I have to tell you, Quinn. You're my best friend, and I can't imagine telling anybody else first."
Quinn reaches for Santana's hands and squeezes them gently with compassion.
"You and I will always be friends. You can tell me anything. I won't judge you. Ever."
Santana smiles at Quinn and nods just before Quinn moves her hands to take the cup and bring it closer to her mouth so she can take a drink from the straw.
Santana blows out. It's still so scary to her that this is really happening, but she's still really excited.
"I am pregnant."
Her voice is quiet, but it leaves her mouth with a giant smile forming on her lips. She carefully observes Quinn's faves. She can see how Quinn's eyebrows rise, and a smile develops on her face.
"Oh my god, Santana!" she squeals and grabs her hands again. "Congratulations. Tell me everything you know. Are they Brittany's? I need to know everything."
Santana chuckles with delight as the nerves leave her, only to be replaced with pure giddiness.
"I am so glad I told you. I am scared about everything, but I am also really excited. I feel like I'm ready. It's so weird. Like, I never thought I would be here, but now that I am, I can't imagine being anywhere else or doing this with anybody else."
"Look at you, all grown up." Quinn teases with a smile. "Ooh la la la."
Santan chuckles, "Oh, god. Shut up, Fabray."
They both laugh.
Santana thanks the universe for there not being any awkwardness between them.
"Come on, tell me. Is it Britt's?"
Santana playfully rolls her eyes at her friend. She can tell that Quinn already knows by the way she's wiggling her eyebrows at her.
"You already know that they are Britt's." Santana answers emphasizing the word they so she'd get the hint.
Santana smiles as she takes a drink and observes Quinn's mouth go agape in shock.
"They? Uh uh, no way."
"Mmhm, that's the right, girl. I am having multiples. I am having twins. Ugh, my body is going to get wrecked." Panic settles in for a moment.
"Oh god, Quinn. What if I am making a mistake? I mean, how can I even be a good mom when mine was so terrible?"
"What? Stop, stop, stop, stop. Stop. You're going to that place where you doubt yourself. Santana, just relax. You, "Quinn says as she points quietly at her, "Are you going to be a great mom. You are a completely different person than you were months ago. You're going to do amazing."
"How can you be so sure? How do I know you're not just saying because you're my friend?"
Santana glares at Quinn as she shakes her head with a smile that says she thinks she's adorable, but Santana is annoyed. This is a serious matter.
"I know you, Santana. I know that you didn't want kids, but the fact that you are here, telling me you're pregnant, tells me that you changed your mind. You want these kids, and that already says so much about you. You'll do great. Plus, Brittany, she's amazing. I am just honest when I say this, but she's way more mature than you."
"Hey!" Santana exclaims, pretending to be offended. "No, me gusta."
"What? Come on. You know it's true. Weren't you the one that told me you found that sexy quality in her?" Quinn challenges
"Ugh, whatever," Santana says as she rolls her eyes.
"Look, what I am saying is this, you both make a great team. You two will figure it all out. I am almost sure it'll come to you naturally. You will be okay."
The waitress comes and takes their order before leaving again.
"So tell me, what's going on with you? Don't think I didn't notice Puck with you at the hospital." Santana says with a smirk.
Santana's smirk turns into a genuine smile when Quinn blushes.
"If you had told me that I would finally be giving Puck a chance, I would say you were crazy, but it turns out that he is a really good guy. Puck has always been there for me. He helped me pick up the pieces after our breakup. He had told me he had feelings, but I never saw him as something more. He helped pick up and get back up again, and I don't know. I found myself smiling and laughing a lot. We kissed, and everything made sense."
"Oh my god, you have it bad for this guy. Puck? I have to say, and I really like this pairing."
Santana's smile grows as Quinn's does as well.
"I am really happy, Santana," Quinn tells her sincerely.
Santana can tell that she is, and she's happy for her best friend.
They eat their meal as they make small talk. Quinn continues to ask for details, and Santana says wanky so many times that Quinn threw a french fry at her. Laughter surrounds them as the two friends catch up.
"You are more than welcome to come to the part at the sorority. It'll be lots of fun." Quinn tells her as they get ready to part ways.
Santana shakes her head.
"Thanks, but I want to stay home. Brittany and I are going to watch movies and order some food. Without being able to drink, it's not too much fun. Also, everything is still fresh. It's going to be a journey, but we will be okay. Have fun. Enjoy the New Year."
"Can I call you tonight?"
"Bitch, you better?"
They laugh before hugging each other.
"I really missed you," They whispered into each other's ears at the same time, earning them a soft chuckle from both of them. They squeeze each other tightly for a second before pulling away. They share another smile before heading in different directions.
