"We're finally not moving! Freeedooom!"
"Aye, sir!"
"Stop that! You're embarrassing me!"
Natsu, Lucy, and Happy gathered their things as people passed on the way off the train, leaving them a wide berth, much to Lucy's annoyance. 'Why couldn't Natsu suffer through his motion sickness gracefully, instead of making a show of it on every trip?' she thought. Then she stopped and repeated that thought. That wasn't being very generous of her. How would she like it if she had to suffer something beyond her control, and someone just told her to get over it? These past few months of witnessing what Gray went through every day had certainly taught her to sympathize with other's sufferings, even the annoying kinds.
Their recent mission was a success, and they even managed to keep their reward money this time. Things have been going pretty well lately. Missions have been steady, Levy and Freed have reported some new successes in finding possible leads to a cypher for those seals, and Gray's finally able to train again, even if just a little. Lucy was in a good mood as she got off the train. As she looked up, that mood was threatened when she saw Cana waiting for them at the station, an urgent look on her face.
"Cana, what's wrong? Did something happen?" asked Lucy.
Natsu grew instantly serious, thinking the worse must have happened if they'd sent someone to get them right away, instead of waiting for them to show up at the guild.
"You could say that. Master needs to meet with your team right away. We've already sent for Erza and Wendy."
"What about Gray?" Natsu asked in trepidation.
"No. Not Gray. Just you guys."
"Cana, what's going on?" asked Lucy.
"Yeah. This either has nothing to do with Gray, or absolutely everything to do with him. So spill," Natsu growled.
Shaking her head as she turned, Cana replied, "Not here. We're going to Master's office. Everything will be explained there."
They arrived at the guild hall, meeting Wendy and Lisanna at the door. She had no idea what was going on either, just that Lisanna had come to her dorm to fetch her for a meeting. Erza was already waiting with Master Makarov and Laxus. It would just be those two with the rest of the team, as Cana shut the door on her way out.
"Ji-chan, what the hell is going on. What happened to Gray?!" yelled Natsu.
"Yes, why isn't he here? He was fine when I left him with Lyon last night," said Erza.
"Gray is not in any immediate danger," Makarov calmed, "but this does concern him. After much deliberation and debate, I've decided it is time I revealed to you the identity of the woman who was with him in the chamber."
That garnered their immediate, undivided attention.
"The woman in..." stuttered Lucy.
"You mean the bitch who tortured him?! Who was she?!!" demanded Natsu.
"What do you mean by reveal? How long have you known?" asked a deceptively calm Erza.
"Everyone please have a seat. I will explain everything. But it is important that you not react until I'm done. I know your first impulse will be to hunt her down and punish her, but I think you already know that she was dead from the very beginning."
"Um, if she's dead, then why do we need to know who she was?" wondered a nervous Wendy.
Makarov nodded towards Laxus, who pulled open a drawstring bag he'd been holding, emptying it onto the top of the desk, before stepping back.
"A lock of hair?" asked Lucy.
"It matches the woman's. So the necromancer used this to summon her?" asked Erza
"And to control her, we assume, yes," confirmed Makarov. He directed his gaze to Natsu and Wendy, both of whom had varied expressions on their faces that didn't surprise him. They'd both caught the scent right away.
"Ji-chan, what...?" said Natsu in dismay, his face going white.
Wendy's eyes were brimming with held back tears, as all she could get out was, "No... this is... How cruel..."
"Natsu, Wendy, what are you—," Erza paused, looking at the hair once more, "Whose hair is that?"
Makarov answered for them. "While it was indeed the necromancer who had tortured Gray, the instrument of his torture was the reanimated body of his own mother."
Lucy held her hands to her mouth in shock and horror. This was beyond desecration. She couldn't even comprehend what she was feeling right now. This was just... his own mother?!
"Why?"
Everyone looked to Natsu, wondering what exactly he was asking.
"Why does... Why can't we... How could this happen?! Why does this shit keep happening to him! All this crap wasn't enough? He was almost dead when we found him! He's still suffering, everyday, from what was done to him! On top of everything, that bastard used his own...Why can't we protect him from this shit!" he yelled in frustration, anger, despair.
"He wasn't calling out for his mom... He was afraid of her..." Wendy mumbled sadly, remembering his episode while under withdrawal.
"How long have you known? Why did you... wait to tell us?" asked a heartbroken Erza.
"Gajeel brought that hair," Laxus supplied, "along with the remains of others, back from the necromancer's lair while you guys were still at the hospital. I sent Cana to tell Master what we'd learned."
"You've known since way back then?!" cried Lucy.
"If Gray had wanted anyone to know, he'd have told us," answered Makarov, "That was my reasoning back then. With everything that he was going through, he didn't need his pain compounded by having that subject brought up as well. I thought it best to wait, until he was strong enough to deal with it. To allow him to take things a little at a time. If you had known before, can you honestly say one of you wouldn't have forced the issue, in a misguided attempt to hurry his recovery along? Or allowed the fact that you knew slip out? I think you can imagine how sensitive a subject this would be for him. There's only so much pain a man can deal with at once."
"I think he's already proven how much pain he can take at once," responded Natsu.
"So what's changed?" asked Lucy, "Why are you telling us now?"
"I've come to realize it was a mistake to wait this long. I thought to protect him from this pain, but allowing it to remain untouched has only allowed it to fester. He may have healed a great deal from his physical injuries, but in other aspects, he's gotten worse. His mental traumas have been manifesting in alarming ways: causing pain where there were no injuries, and which medicines won't bring relief; his paranoia about being in his own home alone; his few occasions of self injury. Most concerning is the fact that he still hasn't spoken, even though Porlyusica is sure he is physically able to do so."
This was news to them, though Wendy had started to suspect a while ago.
"What should we do? He needs to confront this eventually. But how do we even bring this up?" asked Lucy.
"Now that you know, I hope it will help you to better understand some of his reactions, and how to further help him cope. We don't need to rush into things. I know it's been too long, but we have to think carefully on how to proceed from here."
"Where is he now?" asked Wendy.
"Lyon mentioned sparring with him again this morning. They're probably at home," said Erza.
Natsu knocked his chair down as he stood, heading for the door.
"Natsu—"
"You just said waiting was a mistake! If this is hurting him, we need to do something about it now!"
"But what if this makes things worse?" worried Lucy.
"How?! Not doing anything hasn't done crap! It's not like we're springing a big secret on him. He already knows what his mom did to him! So what if he finds out we know now? If anything, he keeping this secret from us probably made it worse! We can't just sit on this. He's gonna react badly, no matter what. It's better he does it sooner than later, and way better to deal with it with us rather than alone!" He hurried out the door, nothing but his destination in mind as the others hurried after him.
Wendy paused for just a moment, just long enough for a final look at the hair, a ghost of an idea gone as soon as it appeared. She shook her head at the thought, before joining her friends.
"Well this is gonna end badly," said Laxus as he gathered the hair into the bag.
"That's the problem with this situation. We have no idea what will happen. Put us up against a dark guild, and we can prevail with little doubt of what decisions need to be made. But when it comes to the complexities of the mind, so many things can go wrong, just as often as they'll go right. I just couldn't decide how to handle this."
"No, you just couldn't decide alone. But you did make the decision to seek help, which was the best thing to do here," Laxus confirmed.
Makarov looked at his grandson with so much affection, and his eyes started welling up with unshed tears, comically growing into wide saucers.
Laxus was taken aback, never sure how to handle this soft, mushy side of his grandfather.
"Cu... Cut it out! I only stated a fact!" he shouted bashfully.
With a huge grin, Makarov observed, "My cute little grandson has grown into a fine, wise young man... He'll make a great guild master one day."
"Hmph," was Laxus' reply, though he didn't hide his small, proud grin as he crossed his arms.
Makarov sobered, and said, "Let's just hope this will be the right decision in the long run."
Lyon was starting to see the advantages to this Static Ice Make style. For him, Dynamic Ice Make had so many uses in a fight. Why face your enemy up close when you could have a pride of lions stalk your target, or a troop of baboons overwhelm your foe? Sure, it's good to be proficient in a number of weapons, but that's only if close combat was your style. He'd never really cared so much for the trifle things Ice Make was good for. Oh, he had, on occasion, created a fine looking chair or a bed while out in the field, but they were merely functional. He hadn't worry about aesthetics.
So he never really considered the intricacies involved in making something as simple looking as a full length punching bag. But there really was more to it than a basic shape. As Gray pounded into it, paying more attention to his form than power, Lyon held it in place, feeling each impact of his punches through the bag. He thought about the finer details of this particular creation.
He couldn't just make a punching bag from ice, not without some depth to it. Without detail, it would just be a sculpture, a solid chunk of ice. This creation required him to concentrate on making hundreds of thousands of minuscule pieces of ice as the filler, while the shell had to be strong enough to withstand a beating but flexible enough to cushion the blows. That entailed refraining from forming something solid, instead creating layers upon layers of firmly packed ice, in such a way as to mimic the feeling of leather.
Gray had a whole lot more skill than he'd ever given him credit for. And these observations towards attention to the finer details were among some of the first few entries from his gifted journal. He could only imagine the treasures he'd find in the latter pages.
Lyon noticed a surge in the intensity of the strikes. He looked at Gray's face and grew concerned. He was sure he should call for a break, but as soon as he opened his mouth, Gray started adding knees and kicks to his attacks. He was solely focused on his target in front of him, and delivered each blow with precision and efficiency, no action wasted, no lapse in his rhythm. The look on his face had changed. Before, he was all about concentration and technique. But at some point, he became, it seemed, more focused inward. His eyes, though never focused, looked more dazed than usual. His countenance was set in a determined frown, anger radiating from him.
This lasted several minutes, until he suddenly stopped the beating, grabbing onto the bag and leaning into it, breathing heavily. Lyon could see steam rising from him as his sweat evaporated into the cold air, joining the mist billowing from his mouth. It was still kind of strange for Lyon to see Gray's breath misting in the cold. His own breath hadn't done that since he was nine.
"Are you ready to stop?" Because surely by now, he knew how far he could work his body before it made him stop.
He just nodded, still relying on the punching bag for support. He unzipped his shirt to just above his heart's surgical scar, allowing the cold air to offer relief to his heated skin. Even in the privacy of his back yard, he was still reluctant to show his scars outside.
Opening his eyes but still leaning his head down, he gestured for water, sucking down half the bottle as soon as it was handed to him, before pouring the rest down his neck and back. Lyon would have to get more stringent in making him rest between sets. Since most of the sweat glands in his back were gone, he was now prone to over heating. He made a mental note to ask Porlyusica about necessary measures to take during the warmer seasons.
Gray let go of the bag and stepped away as Lyon cancelled the spell, before allowing him to lead him back to the deck to sit for a minute. He'd need to do some cool down stretches before he was done, but for just a minute, he needed a breather.
"I think your stamina's improving. You lasted longer than last time we did this," said Lyon as he sent a wave of coolness throughout Gray's shirt.
Gray nodded his relieved thanks before sitting back and replying, "It helps to visualize an appropriate target. Loren suggested that."
"So that's why you requested a punching bag the day after he was here last... Dare I ask what you were picturing?"
"... When you fought the flesh zombies, were they cold?"
Whoa. Back up. Did this qualify as dangerous territory? Gray did not bring up the incident without preamble.
"Um... I didn't really... have the opportunity to get that close to one."
Nodding like this was just any boring topic, Gray continued, "I couldn't tell at first. The one I fought wasn't cold to me, but it wasn't warm either. That should have been my first clue that something was wrong about them."
...
Lyon wasn't sure how to respond to that. They'd all said at some point or another that what happened to him wasn't his fault, but his choice of words sure indicated that he didn't completely believe them.
"It's colder, but the punching bag felt like them. It felt like punching a corpse. You did a really good job making it this time. It was... almost cathartic."
Lyon never knew what to think of this Gray. He was doing very well last night when Erza left, and was pretty easy going this morning, if tired looking, which he was quite used to, unfortunately. Did he have a mood swing while he was kicking that imaginary zombie's ass? One would think he'd be more... uplifted?... after something like that. But who could really tell with the way Gray's mind worked these days?
"You're in an awfully morbid mood today," he observed.
"Sorry. Just... bad dreams I guess."
"Same ones?" Lyon asked sympathetically.
"Always... Ready for cool down?"
"Whenever you are."
They both rose from their chairs, but Lyon had to catch him as he stumbled due to lightheadedness.
"You okay?" he asked worriedly.
"Yeah. Just stood up too fast."
"I think you worked too hard. We should get you inside, have you lie down—"
He was interrupted when Gray pulled away, an annoyed look on his face as he gestured, "I'm not an invalid! If I don't stretch and cool down first, we'll both regret it later."
"Fine. Just stretching, no more than five minutes. Then you're taking a break and eating something. It's almost time for meds, anyway."
"Yes, sir!"
"Gray! Lyon!" came Lucy's call from the gate.
"We're by the pond!" answered Lyon.
He wasn't surprised to see the whole team rounding the corner to the back deck. But the various looks of upset and distress made him pause. Gray was completely oblivious, taking controlled breaths while stretching his arm across his chest before switching to the other, looking towards the sounds of his friends' foot steps and tilting his head up in greeting.
Trying to sound calm, Lyon asked, "Hey, what's going on, guys?"
They all looked at each other, no one saying a word. On the long walk there, they'd each convinced themselves that this was the right thing to do, that no matter what happened, Gray would be better off for it. In their haste, no one really came up with a delicate way to broach the subject. And no one remembered the lessons they'd learned months ago, when they all swore that day to just listen to him, to try to understand, to not just try to fix him, to assume to know what's best for him.
Maybe some of them had considered these things, and found this situation the exception to the rule.
Whatever was going through their heads, someone had to say something, because now Gray was growing aware of their odd behavior. He didn't like this weird silence between them. This hesitation never boded well. As a way to break up the tension, he thought to crack a joke in poor taste, just to get any reaction.
"Oh no. Don't tell me I'm contagious. Did you lose your speech, too?"
Whatever reaction he was expecting, the sounds of poorly disguised sniffles from Wendy, and the very obvious sobs from Lucy were not on his list.
"What's wrong?"
Lyon was really worried now, as well. Why couldn't they just say what they'd come here to say?
Erza cleared her throat, before suggesting, "Gray, maybe we should go inside fir—,"
"Cut the crap and tell me what the hell's going on!"
He was shocked to find himself in a firm embrace, as Natsu had rushed towards him, almost tackling him in a hug, eyes heavy with angry tears that tried to leak out.
He wasn't sure if he should hug him back because of his obvious sadness, or punch him in the face for the unexpected contact, so he instead kept his hands aloft, doing neither.
"Gray," Natsu said shakily, "We know."
He looked up in confusion, gesturing over Natsu's shoulders, "Know what?!"
Natsu now wished he wasn't the one doing this, that they weren't doing it, that they'd waited, that they didn't need to do it at all.
"WE KNOW IT WAS YOUR MOM!" he cried.
Gray's eyes widened, and he slowly lowered his hands in shock, face white. He didn't breathe, his body tensing.
"I've always been nice, dear boy. The nicest thing you can do for a child is to discipline them."
The thing held its fist over Gray's eyes, bits of glowing hot ashes slipping free, causing him to flinch. He blinked rapidly, defiance alone causing his refusal to look away... before the ashes fell...
"We know it was her with you in that chamber..."
"No more fighting me, now. I don't enjoy punishing you so harshly."
"We know the necromancer used her to hurt you..."
"We're going to remove that obstacle now. It's time you separated yourself from that awful guild."
It plunged its arm down, the scalpel clutched in its fingers digging deep... He hissed. In a moment, he screamed. After a while, the sounds of his screams stopped. Though he kept trying. He kept screaming. It was silent.
"Your father did nothing to protect you. He left you. Abandoned you. All alone. A broken boy in a broken village"
"That she's the one who did all those things to you..."
"I'm sorry that you turned out to be such a bad son"
Natsu would have kept going if he wasn't violently pushed away.
He stumbled back, keeping his eyes on Gray, trying to gauge what he was feeling, hoping they were all ready for the fallout to come.
Lyon was absolutely stunned. Of all the things he'd imagined could have happened in that chamber, something this twisted and vile could never have been conceived in his mind. His heart was breaking into smaller and smaller pieces as he saw the many emotions flitting through Gray's eyes. He stepped forward, a hint of disbelief in his voice as he whispered to no one in particular, "Gray, I... this is... is this true?"
"Come on, Gray," Natsu tried, "You don't need to keep this to your self anymore. We know she—,"
"NO!" He gestured furiously, 'shouting' it as well. "That WASN'T HER, you flaming piece of SHIT! How DARE You!"
"Gray," Lucy pleaded, "please calm down—"
"That wasn't her! That CREATURE wasn't HER! It was just that F*CKING BASTARD, masquerading behind another CORPSE!"
He was beyond pissed. They expected him to calm down, after ripping the scab off this putrefying wound, and pouring over it the salt of these accusations? His face was turning red now in his anger, and his hands were shaking so badly, his gestures sharp and quick, sometimes unreadable, but he coupled every gesture with his silent words, so no one could mistake what he meant. At this point, everyone was proficient enough in their respective skills that they didn't need a translator.
Natsu stayed where he was, not backing down, hands up instinctively to placate him, even as any motion he gave was wasted on Gray's eyes.
"Gray, we saw the evidence. I could tell by the scent. It was just like that time with your dad. It smelled just like you—"
He should have expected the punch to his jaw, and part of him felt like he deserved it, as he stumbled back towards the others.
"Just SHUT UP! Stop calling that...that monster...that obscene, rotting pretender my mother! YOU WEREN'T THERE! I was alone with that BITCH for days! I saw her face. I heard her voice. I was the one whose eyes she burned with fire and ash. You think I could ever mistake which monster did that to me?! You don't ever forget the last thing you ever f*cking saw! I was the one she forced awake, over and over, every time I tried to drift away... as she was carving this damned road map into my skin!... Every time... She sliced these damned things into my arm... every time she made me wake up... to keep a f*cking count!..*gasp*...It was my guild mark, my flesh she tore off, and threw in the f*cking garbage!"
His friends could only watch as he raged, some understanding his words better than others. They could almost physically feel his anguish and sorrow.
"You weren't there. You never saw her!.. IT!... *gasp*... It wasn't her! It's not HER! NOT HER! My mom would never...
...
...would have NEVER...
...done the... things that bitch did to me!
It...it wasn't her...she...it was...
...that bastard... He...? ... he... w...
...
...wh... what...?"
Something was wrong.
Lyon stepped forward, no longer paralyzed by indecision as he saw the shift in Gray's demeanor.
"Gray, I'm sorry. So, so sorry for what you went through. But you need to calm down. Please, let's go inside, try to figure this out."
"...What?... I... I don't... Lyon?... My... I..."
He stopped suddenly, fear and confusion appearing on his face.
Then pain.
"Gray?" asked Erza.
He was panting now, like he couldn't get enough air. A sense of vertigo struck him, and he stumbled back a step, just barely staying on his feet.
"Gray-san, what—"started Wendy.
He clutched at his shirt, tearing the front more open before digging his fingers over his heart, eyes glossing over before they closed tightly. He shuddered before collapsing. Wendy, perceiving what was happening, caught him before he hit the ground.
Lyon and Natsu helped lower him down, then backed away to let Wendy work. His eyes were half-lidded, and his breathing shallow. He still weakly clutched at his chest, but allowed Wendy to move his hand away. His shirt was completely soaked in sweat as she pulled the fabric aside to see what she would find. He'd pressed so hard against his chest, he'd left bruises. In her haste to help, she had to stop herself from instinctively trying to heal him with her sky maiden magic, forgetting for just that moment the futility of trying to use it on him. Checking his pulse, she found it erratic. She placed her hand over his heart. It was pounding, way too quickly and vigorously for someone who hadn't been all that active in the last few minutes.
"Lyon, when's the last time he took a beta blocker?" she asked, displaying an air of calmness she didn't feel.
"Right after breakfast, over four hours ago."
"Get me a dose now, and some water. Hurry."
As he ran to retrieve the meds, Lucy asked in a near panic, "What's happening? You asked for beta blockers. Is he having a heart attack?"
Natsu and Erza, already scared for their friend, felt the bottom drop when they heard that question. How? He was just standing there! He was getting better, stronger, healthier!
"I suspect it's something like it, but heart attacks occur when blood can't reach the heart. I think this is stress related, and it's causing his heart muscles to weaken. It can be just as dangerous. This also happened during that incident with Juvia, but it's much worse this time."
Lyon slammed his knees to the ground upon his return to Gray's side, dropping the pills into Wendy's waiting hands. She indicated for him to lift Gray up, which he did, holding him up slightly as she tried to feed him the medicine.
"Gray, I need you to swallow these. They'll help... Do you understand?"
He was listless, too weak to gesture, but his lips moved, too slowly, too shallowly for anyone to read. Wendy had been dreading something like this happening, where he'd be in trouble or in pain, and he had absolutely no way of communicating it to them.
But he was somewhat conscious, so she could work with that. She placed a pill in his mouth, followed by some water. Tilting his head back, she gently coaxed him to swallow. She did the same for the second pill, before having Lyon lower him back down.
"This will buy us some time. But we need to get him to the infirmary immediately."
With no further word needed, Natsu gathered Gray in his arms, and they all headed to the guild.
I've been looking forward to this arc. Unlike the last time they "tried to help" they can't just make amends and all is well again. What they did isn't something he can recover from that easily.
Next Chapter: They start to understand the ramifications of what they've done. Where do they go from there?
