PART 1
When Mukuro drops me off back home I feel inexplicably better. The colors look brighter, my room feels happier. When she and Hiei leave, I ask Lisa to turn on to a pop radio station.
I start picking up my clothes from the floor, I grab cleaning supplies and begin cleaning the shelves and everything in them. This one song starts playing. It's about love, and how the singer is so sure that she has found a reason to live, how this feeling has changed her, and how she can't see herself with no-one else for the rest of her life but the man she is in love with.
Yesterday I would have changed the station instantly, today I ask Lisa to find that song on the internet and play it on repeat. I hear it over and over, about six or seven times, while cleaning my closet and bathroom.
When I'm done I decide to live a little, either way Karasu left me a quarter of a million dollars, I can splurge if I want. I drive his car to one of those high-end clothing stores and spend a whopping thirty thousand on shirts, suits, and shoes. I needed an up-grade, I deserve it.
On the way back home, I stop by mother's house. I haven't been visiting lately, so she is very excited to see me.
She tells me a story of how she went to the hair salon and they cut her hair unevenly.
I fix the tips and add some conditioner to make her feel better, she loves it.
We talk about life and I tell her Karasu and I broke up a long time ago. She smiles weakly and holds my hand, "things only get better day by day."
"I am okay, mother, don't worry. I am the one that decided to end the relationship. He wasn't right for me."
"Well, you are very young, handsome, and brilliant. I am sure many will be lining up for a chance with you."
I smile, "Mom, actually…"
I give her a look, and her eyes open wide, "is there someone already?" she asks.
"I think," I tell her. "I think I might actually be in love with someone."
She shrieks and jumps up from her seat, shaking me. "What?! Who?! How?! When?!"
"Mom!"
"You can't just say that and not follow it up with details-"
"Mom!"
"What?"
"Mom," I repeat to grab her attention and she stops moving around to listen closely, "I am in love… with King Yomi."
The silence feels like a blanket covering a cold chill. Complete.
She is confused. By her face, I can tell she is trying to decide if this is a joke or if I've lost my mind.
"I love him, mom."
She sits back down on her seat, "What do you mean? Like, as a fantasy-"
"No… I've meet him. I've meet Yomi, and I fell in love with him."
Her face gets twisted, "when? How?"
"I meet a friend in Demon World, and that friend happened to know him, so we met and… mom. Mom. He is perfect."
"Are you being serious?"
"Yes, I am being very serious right now."
"Really? You meet the King?"
"Yes! And I fell in love with him."
"Suichi… but he's a King." I wait for her to tell me that I am crazy, that there's no way a King would ever take someone like me serious, but the beat of my heart gets stronger when she replies, "Don't let him think he is above you just because he is a King. You are the Universe, my love. You are a lovely human being. Always, always, remember who you are, and never let anybody tell you otherwise. Royalty can be vague; they are different from us. I don't know how I feel about it."
"Do you trust me?"
"Of course I do. I know who you are. And honestly, I am not at all surprised. Ever since you were little, I always saw you way, way, above. I had a feeling that you would be larger than this, larger than anything I could give you. I don't know. It was just a hunch, now imagine if you actually become a King."
"Things can happen."
"Is he interested in you too?"
"I think he is."
"So he hasn't confessed anything?"
"I've kept my guard up, but depending on how he behaves, I might give him a chance."
"It's unbelievable," She laughs. "Do you want to hear something funny?"
"What is it?"
"When you were little, maybe like three or four, and we would see King Yomi on television, you would point and say that was your husband!"
She laughs out loud. I don't.
Yomi.
She notices the change and immediately stops, "I am sorry, did I-"
"No, it's nothing," I try to laugh it out, "I just don't recall that. I must have been very young."
She kisses my forehead and hugs me tightly. She is the best mother anybody could ever wish for.
PART 2
When I get to the apartment, he is waiting outside.
I knew he would be coming, but it still caught me by surprise. Hiei and Mukuro are not that far away, so I call for them.
They both land in between us, and a standoff begins.
Hiei opens his mouth to start, but I stop him, "You can both leave."
Hiei turns his face fast, his eyes telling me to reconsider. Mukuro doesn't look surprised. "Even if Yomi and I were planning on killing each other, that is enough of our personal life getting other people involved. This is a personal meeting, so please, go back to Demon World."
"He could kill you within minutes," Hiei says, without a doubt.
"I know. I am not scared of death or of him. Not anymore. Whatever is meant to happen will happen, but that is enough of Mukuro running to save me every time, just because she is trying to keep you happy. We all know Mukuro and Yomi get along now, she isn't looking for a chance to kill him anymore. Let her rest."
"Hiei," Mukuro says, "at some point, you have to realize you can't control everything. Let Kurama make his own decisions. He wants to talk to Yomi, alone. He knows the risks that entails, and he doesn't want us here. Let's go."
"I'll be fine," I nod with a small smile.
"I don't like this."
"It will be fine," I assure him.
He finally gives up, "if you ever, EVER, hurt him again, Yomi. I swear, I will kill you."
"I know," Yomi replies.
"Mukuro, let's go," and they both are gone right away.
Time to take care of this once and for all. It's time to get the answer to my questions, to know the truth.
"Would you like to come in for some tea?" I ask him with a very soft voice. I need to remain this way. I need to have the control.
He is dressed down, black pants and brown robes. I can feel his doubt, his nervousness. "I would love to, thank you."
I open the door and walk in, turning around to signal for him to follow. He can see me now, artificial, but it's sight, and it makes a big difference. I makes me eerily aware of every move I make, or every step and every twitch. "Take a seat on the couch, I'll make the tea."
He looks around, I am so glad I just cleaned everything. If he would have came yesterday, I would not had let him in out of embarrassment alone.
I serve us the tea and sit across from him on the other couch. I take a sip and place my tea on the small table in between us. He sips his tea too. I wait for him to set it down and then ask, "So what brings you here? I've hardly heard stories of you visiting Human World."
He doesn't fall for my fake smile, doesn't pretend to be interested in small talk. "Suichi…" He is looking at me, piercing through. This meeting feels extremely personal now. He wants to get to know me, he wants to know what is inside of me, and I don't want him in yet, "how are you?"
His voice sends shivers down my spine. The way he asks the question, it isn't something I can reply, 'fine, thank you' to. I know this, and he knows this, so we both stare at each other for a very long time in absolute silence.
"I am alive," I finally answer. Then another long silence.
My tea is getting cold.
"It was you. I want you to know, that it was you. Since the day you told me you loved me, you became the most important person for me. But to think that someone so young- and a human at that- could fall for someone like me, I didn't believe you. I didn't believe any of it, and I made terrible mistakes. I never should have left you out of my side."
"But you did, Yomi," I reply very cold-heartedly. My lips feel blue and shivery, the tips of my fingers are stone. The tone of my voice surprises me, "You did. And not only that, you lied to me. You made me promises you didn't keep. You used me. You fucked me, and then went to fuck other men. A human was good enough to fuck, but not good enough to love? How dare you sit there right now and tell me it was me. You must think I am an idiot."
"There is nothing that I can say that could change things."
"Then why are you here?"
"Because I've waited for you for so many years, Suichi, I had to tell you. I had to look at you in the eyes and tell you how sorry I am. I am so sorry. I was filled with hate and rage and thoughts of war. I didn't realize what was right in front of me. A chance at something real. A love unlike anything I had experienced before."
"Love?" I ask with a sour taste in my mouth. My head falls to the side and my eyes squint in confusion, that word sounds ugly coming from his mouth. "The last time I gave you all the love I had, all of it, you didn't have a clue as to what to do with it, what makes you think you can talk about love? What makes you think you can come into someone's life and simply expect them to take you back, just because you are sorry?"
"I am not here to ask you to come back to me."
My heart skips a beat, my entire body gets cold, from the tip of my toes to my head. I think my blood pressure drops. What does he mean? Does he not want me then?
"I can't expect you to believe everything I tell you and come back to me right away, but I am here to ask for a chance to prove to you how much I love you. Suichi, I don't want anybody else. Nobody. In all these years, the only person that I ever thought about was you. Your smell is still stuck in my brain. I daydreamed about you. I thought of this reunion again and again, and now sitting here right in front of you, I realize no amount of planning could prepare me for this."
Please stop talking that way.
"I want you to know, that I love you. I was a horrible partner, but I still love you. And if you give me a chance, I promise you, I swear to you on my life, that I will make you so happy."
I want to know.
"What would you do? To make me happy?" I ask.
"Everything. Anything. All of it."
"That is a wide range of things."
"Everything, Suichi."
"I don't know, I am not sure it is worth the risk-"
He falls to his knees, he tries to reach for my hands but I pull away. How dare he! Who does he think he is?! "If you ever touch me without my consent, you will lay down your hand so I can cut it off, do you understand?"
I raised my voice, but his doesn't change at all as he replies, "I do. I am sorry, I overstepped. But please, Suichi… please, my beloved. I am begging you for one opportunity to prove myself to you. I will not let you down."
I want to know how far he'll go. I am crazy. I am sick. I am madly in love with him.
"What are you willing to lose over that? If you can't keep your promise, if you hurt me again, what are you willing to lose?"
"Everything, I will give you Gandara. If I ever hurt you again, I will forfeit my own life and my Kingdom. I swear to you, that I will fall over a sword."
"Yomi-"
"I will not back down! If that is what you need to be able to open your heart for me, I will gladly give it to you and more."
"Yomi, Gandara isn't enough," He looks up at me, shocked, he was not expecting this. Gandara has always been the Grand Prize, that is his biggest treasure, but Gandara isn't enough for me. "This will be the deal, if you break my heart, you will give me your essence. Your power. You will give me you. You will pull your own life energy out of your body and give it to me, (I've only seen this done once, when Genkai gave Yusuke the Spirit Wave, but I know it can be done.) I am almost certain that if I try to absorb it, it will kill me, so I will keep it in a box and pull it out to play with it every once in a while. It will make me less lonely. After you give me your power I will kill you myself, and of course take Gandara, and your treasures, and everything and anything else you have of worth. All of this, and all you will get is one chance to make me happy."
He doesn't even think about it, "That's all I need, I accept your proposal."
This man is mad.
"Are you insane?!" I shout.
"Do you want it in writing? Or is my word enough?"
My shock must show on my face.
"I am in love, and if everything that I have is enough to get an opportunity to be happy with the man I love, I would be insane not to take it. I love you, Suichi."
"Why do I have the feeling I am making a horrible mistake?"
"Please, just one opportunity." How can it be that he is the one on his knees, but I still feel like he is above me? "Please…"
"Yomi," he looks up.
I hesitate.
"Please…"
I shake me head.
In my past life, I was the one that begged like this.
I shake my head, but I can't say no, "Very well."
His forehead hits the floor, both of his arms go up. He prays in his native language to his deity.
I understand some of the words. "Thank you." "Blessing." "Mercy."
My heart is beating so fast, it might come out of my chest.
"Thank you, my love. Thank you. I will not let you down."
I want to believe him.
I want to believe in him.
"I am going to make you so happy," he promises.
I take a deep breath, and get ready for the pain, "we'll see."
