Word Count: 5,429
Warnings/Spoilers: This chapter includes dissociating and a mild anxiety attack due to PTSD triggers.
Celebrating Buck and Eddie's birthdays had been a quiet affair, the days just a blip on the radar in many months of Eddie's rehab and therapy appointments despite Christopher's best attempts to demand cake and sing and encourage the organisation of a party. Buck's stubbornness had been in full effect regarding his day and though he wouldn't explain to Eddie why he didn't like celebrating, Maddie must've said something when she called because then he dropped it.
Eddie's birthday had slightly more excitement behind it – some insurance money had finally come through for his stolen and wrecked truck. He'd purchased a new car that wasn't as nice as his old truck but was, in Eddie's words, 'at least not bought with blood money'. Chris didn't seem to care that the car was smaller and Buck was just grateful that they were back to having two cars again because sometimes it just wasn't convenient to only have one.
What was not a quiet affair was LA Pride.
Buck balanced Chris on his shoulders as they wandered through the crowds, Eddie's fingers tight in his to avoid getting separated.
"It's so loud," Chris yelled, pointing at something they couldn't see and laughing.
And it was, but it was also awesome.
Buck continued following Hen and Karen and Denny, who were following Michael and Bobby and May and Harry. Athena hadn't been able to get the day off and though they knew she was somewhere on crowd control, they hadn't seen her yet. Somewhere behind him were Maddie and Chim. It was a travelling convoy of his entire family and he'd never felt more like he belonged and was accepted.
A year ago, he hadn't been able to attend because of his leg. He'd listened to the noise outside his apartment and he'd watched some of the footage on TV. He'd spent the day moping and alone, missing Ali, missing Eddie, missing Maddie, missing anyone that was a friend and could provide some comfort. At the time, he'd felt very comfortable in who he was and who he liked, yet he wasn't out at the firehouse and so he constantly felt like he was lying to the people around him. As if to spite him, his leg had ached all weekend, keeping him awake and restless while his stomach churned.
This year, his arms were smeared with glitter from shoulder to elbow after Hen had given him a bottle of homemade glitter body gel and an expectant stare during the week. His sparkle-covered hand was clasped in Eddie's – equally unfathomable a year ago – and he was undoubtedly transferring glitter that would stain Eddie's palm the same way that his neck and jaw were sparkly because Buck couldn't stop grabbing at his face to kiss him. Since apparently everyone was buying him stuff this year, Eddie had come home with a tank top that said "I came out of the cabinet" a couple of weeks ago. Buck had laughed until he cried a little at the time, and when Hen had seen him earlier she'd howled with approval while Christopher and Bobby had asked for an explanation. May and Karen had brought face paints and Buck had wasted no time presenting his cheek to get a pink, yellow and blue flag from May while Michael sat next to him and rolled his eyes while waiting for Karen to paint a rainbow on his cheek.
"I really should've known," Michael mused as he eyed the colours on Buck's cheek and Buck laughed, running his hand over Michael's head to smear some glitter on top of it and earning him a swat to the shoulder when he attempted to leap out of the way.
Biting his bottom lip, Eddie had stepped forward after that and asked May for a pink, purple and blue flag. She'd been delighted and Buck thought the shy smile on Eddie's lips was the cutest thing he'd ever seen.
Until Chris tugged on his shirt.
"Buck?"
"Yeah, champ?"
"Can I get the pretty colours on my face too?"
Buck had looked from Chris to Eddie, who shrugged. "Why not?" Eddie had said, so Buck had placed Chris on the bench and May had painted flags to match Buck and Eddie's on each of Chris' cheeks in the shape of a heart.
Buck would never admit that he might've spilled a tear or two as he wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist and hooked his chin over Eddie's shoulder to watch the best kid in the world smile like the sun and ask May what flag she was going to get on her cheek.
He'd gotten distracted by the belated arrival of Maddie and Chim. His sister took one look at the colours on his cheek and her eyes lit up as she hurried off to May, claiming she had a great idea. Buck was confused as he glanced after her but Hen was talking to Eddie about some of the safety plans for the day to ensure they didn't get separated from the kids and Chim started asking about food and Michael wandered over to glower about the glitter he couldn't get off his head.
And then his sister reappeared, and he stared for several long blinks.
"Is this okay?" she said, lips pressing together as she looked up at him with wide, uncertain eyes.
"I have the best sister," he declared, wrapping her into a hug and being careful not to smudge the colours that were still drying on her cheek. Apparently her 'great idea' was to take the straight ally flag but swap the colours for the pan flag. He only hoped there wouldn't be someone who was a dick to her over it because it sure as hell meant the world to him.
"Love you," she said as he kissed the top of her head and released her back to Chim, who immediately started asking her about food.
They were almost ready to head into the mass of people when Buck caught a glimpse of Bobby talking to Michael and his breath caught. Maybe he froze because Eddie tugged on his shirt.
"Babe?"
"Bobby-" he whispered, not intending for his voice to sound so strangled but between Chris, and Maddie, he was very quickly finding himself overwhelmed with the love and support and acceptance of all those he considered family, all those that embraced him for who he was rather than rejected him for it.
Bobby must've seen him staring because a moment later, he was shifting through the group and looked absolutely delighted with himself as he pointed at both cheeks. "What do you reckon, kiddo?"
And Buck… Buck just folded his arms around Bobby's shoulders and clung until the waves of emotion passed. Some of his tears got absorbed into Bobby's shirt and Bobby's hand at his back kept him upright. He really didn't have the words to express how Bobby having a wobbly straight ally flag on one cheek and Maddie's creation on the other made him feel.
"Thanks, Pops," he said with a sniff as Bobby's hand ran up and down his back.
"I feel like I should get Eddie's colours too. And maybe I should get Hen and Karen's? I don't want anyone feeling left out," Bobby said, making Buck stifle a damp laugh into his shoulder as he loosened his grip.
"Why not just paint your whole face?" he teased and Bobby's grin widened.
"You know, that's actually a really good idea! Maybe next year," he said with a wink and a squeeze and then he was gone and Buck leaned in to the arm that Eddie wrapped around his waist.
"My colours feel left out," Eddie joked and Buck kissed his shoulder and couldn't wipe the smile from his face if he'd tried.
"Your colours look beautiful," he said and Eddie almost certainly flushed.
They descended into the masses and it was impossible not to sway with the different beat that coursed through the city during Pride. Buck couldn't remember being happier than he was right at that moment, and his cheeks definitely ached from all the smiling. There was nothing like getting caught among the crowds, surrounded by his team and their families and his sister, with Chris on his shoulders and Eddie's hand in his. He'd lost track of how many people had looked him up and down, and how many times Eddie had clenched his grip a little tighter and kissed the back of his shoulder like a claim which left his belly feeling superheated. He wasn't the only one though – Eddie got his fair share of wandering eyes. He supposed marking their faces with their interests was to blame for that.
He'd also lost track of how many times Eddie had tugged at his hand like he wanted to say something so Buck would turn towards him, and then Eddie's mouth would be against his as they shared a kiss and exchanged goofy grins. Chris would start squirming when the kiss dragged for too long and Buck would hide a laugh and then realise they'd gotten separated from the others, again. He'd lost track of how many times they had to keep texting someone in the group to establish meet locations, but Buck wouldn't have had it any other way. He wished he could store all the positive energy and vibes, all the infectious smiles of Eddie, all of Christopher's delighted giggles, all the love that swirled around them because he couldn't remember the last time he felt like he was floating on so much happiness. Which sounded cheesy as hell but when he looked at Eddie and Chris, his boys, he thought he might just combust with all the feelings behind his lungs and thundering through his heart and spreading through his veins to the tips of his fingers and toes.
"Have I mentioned how much I love this?" he murmured, tracing the smudged and cracked paint on Eddie's cheek after they'd collapsed into bed hours and hours later on Saturday night. Buck's arms were still stained with glitter after almost half an hour of scrubbing at them with a barely-damp towel, and he knew he had plenty in his hair after a glitter cannon had gone off above them at one point during the parade. He had a feeling he'd be leaving glitter all over the calls during his shift tomorrow like he was Tinkerbell.
"Once or twice," Eddie said, a smile of utter contentment on his face which was still speckled in glitter. "It's nice to know you like it."
Buck hummed, thumb circling the mark and thought about the colours on Chris' cheeks, and Maddie's, and Bobby's again. It was almost enough to strangle his throat with emotion. "I don't think you know what it means to me."
Eddie gazed at him with slightly hooded eyes, fingers tracing over the swell of muscles in Buck's arm and almost certainly catching more glitter to smear somewhere later. "Maybe not, but I hope it means you know how much everyone loves you. And that I'm serious about this, and you, and us."
"I think I might've figured that out when you asked me to move in?" Buck teased, tilting his head in mock thoughtfulness like he couldn't remember any other time that he'd realised Eddie loved him.
Eddie laughed, drawing him in for a slow kiss that ignited the warmth under Buck's skin that had been simmering there all day. "So it was that which gave me away, huh?"
Buck chuckled, because Eddie was so relaxed and seemed as happy as Buck and after everything, after all the pain and the heartache during the last twelve months, he was more than happy to tip his head back to allow Eddie's tickling kisses along his jaw and bask in how nothing else mattered right then except them. "Among other things…"
"Oh?"
"I'll tell you some other time," he said, his spare hand smoothing over Eddie's waist and tugging the other man over him. "Right now there are more important things to do than talk."
Eddie huffed a laugh, breath scattering along Buck's neck as his fingers trailed down Buck's sparkly abdomen. "Couldn't agree more, mi amor."
"Are you sure?"
"No."
"Well then, we don't have to-"
"I can't let this rule me."
Buck sighed, tracing abstract shapes into Eddie's back. "Eddie…"
"Can you imagine telling Chris no?"
"That's- Chris just wants you to be okay. You know that as well as I do."
It was Eddie's turn to sigh. This particular squabble had been a daily discussion for over a week, ever since Hen had mentioned her Fourth of July barbecue during a shift and insisted Buck invite Eddie and Chris. Chris had jumped at the chance for a party but Buck had been more circumspect because it was the Fourth of July and that meant fireworks and firecrackers and Eddie was still jumpy as hell. Buck had dropped his phone by accident two weeks ago and Eddie had just about gotten stuck among the light fittings.
Eddie insisted he was okay with the party.
Buck was encouraging at least a little caution.
And so they'd reached a stalemate.
"Look, I spoke with Karen the other day," Eddie said, propping his chin on Buck's chest so he could peer up like a pouty child who had totally stolen that move from Christopher. "She didn't even need me to say that loud noises were a bad idea. She and Hen already planned to just have sparklers and candles and streamers, stuff like that. And she said she'd pass that memo on to Athena and Chim so there won't be fireworks, okay? It'll be fine."
Buck still wasn't convinced but this was one of those 'trust your boyfriend' times that, in a lot of ways, he was still getting used to.
"If you change your mind-"
Eddie kissed him, silencing any further discussion.
"You made it!" Hen said, gathering Eddie into a hug as she led them through the house.
"We had a decoration malfunction," Eddie explained, gesturing towards where Buck was very proudly following them with Chris.
Chris, whose red crutches had been jazzed up for the occasion with white and blue ribbons spiralling down the length of the poles, looked absolutely thrilled when Maddie and Karen complimented them as he entered the living room.
"We did them 'specially," Chris was telling Karen, who was making lots of approving noises as Chris twisted his crutches back and forth to show them off.
Buck bounced over to greet his sister, who was in the middle of dicing vegetables for a salad, and then kissed Eddie's cheek as he twirled past in search of Bobby who had texted him half an hour ago to say his presence was needed by the grill. Buck wasn't sure exactly why he needed to help with the grill given that he knew Michael was here too, but even via text, Buck did what Bobby ordered.
He waved at Harry and Denny, camped on the floor in front of the couch playing with some action figures, and exited the sliding door back into the blistering midday heat of July in Los Angeles and-
Froze.
Like someone had dumped an ice bucket over his head.
"Buckaroo!" Athena called, leading to a rousing cheer of "Buck's here!" from Chim that felt fuzzy and distant through the tinny ringing in his ears.
He flinched when a hand pressed into his shoulder, eyes swimming around until he met Bobby's. Bobby, who looked close and far away, was definitely saying something because his mouth was moving but Buck was stuck on the brief glimpse of the small, above-ground pool set-up that had been established in Hen and Karen's backyard that left him feeling cold in the scorching sun. It wasn't even that it was a big pool and a lot of water. It just seemed to be its mere existence, the mere threat it posed, the mere scatterings of memories that-
"Diaz!"
"Cap?"
Buck didn't even realise how badly he was trembling until a steady hand pressed into his own, until fingers tilted his cheek and his stuttering heart met Eddie's familiar eyes. "I- Eddie-"
"I know," Eddie said gently, tugging lightly at his hand. "I've got you. How about we get you back inside, alright? You can help Maddie with the salad."
Buck blinked, eyes shifting between Eddie and Bobby because hadn't he come out here to do something? But Eddie was more insistent, guiding him back inside and Buck chewed the inside of his cheek like it could somehow break through the haze of numbness that had enveloped his mind in a split second.
"Mads?"
There were many times in the past year Buck felt like he'd had an out-of-body experience, like he was hovering above himself and watching everything happen with a muted detachment. Part of it, he'd suspected, was how many nightmares he'd had where he was forced into reliving the tsunami and the bombing over and over from so many different angles that they'd started to feel less real and at the same time, terrifying him into thinking he could face another disaster in the blink of an eye.
This time, though… Something had fractured in his head because he didn't think this was a dream and yet he watched Maddie approach him, her arm wrapping around his waist to lead him through the hallway with Eddie, and his feet moved as if a puppeteer was steering him, and conversation swirling around his head that was hard to tune into but he did hear the words "water" and "outside".
He sat on the edge of the bed when Maddie's hand gave a little push and he realised how erratic his breathing was when Eddie knelt in front of him. His hands were placed against Eddie's chest to feel the steady rise and fall of his chest before Eddie's hands released his wrists to cradle his jaw and keep his head up, his eyes fixed on brown, his lungs attempting to expand around the vice of his ribs to match Eddie's rhythm.
"You're safe, Evan," Eddie murmured as Maddie pressed in beside him, rubbing her hand slowly up and down his back, fingers curling into the hairs at the base of his neck before drifting down his spine again. "Just focus on that. Focus on us."
"B-But Chris-"
"He's safe too, babe," Eddie said, thumb smoothing over Buck's cheekbone and down the slope of his nose. "We walked past him playing with Denny and Harry."
And Buck…vaguely remembered seeing Denny and Harry playing, although he couldn't remember seeing Chris with them, but he trusted Eddie not to lie to him about something like this. Eddie had never lied about Chris' safety and even though he felt rattled by the flickers of memory and jolts of fear, he also knew in some part of his memory that he'd spent the morning with Chris decorating his crutches and trying to get the winding ribbons correct.
That recollection helped spark other bits of awareness to life in his brain as he sniffed, fingers curling into Eddie's shirt. There was relief that Chris was safe, and the pressure of Maddie's arm against him was comforting, and Eddie's hands against his face and neck were warm and solid.
"There you go," Eddie said with a small smile and an encouraging nod as he smoothed a hand through Buck's hair. "Not so bad this time, huh? I must be getting better at this."
Buck wrinkled his nose and fought the urge to stick his tongue out. "A-All the w-worrying about you and loud n-noises and they have a fucking pool they forgot to tell me about," he muttered, making Maddie stifle a laugh against his shoulder.
"Goes to show you can't think of everything," Eddie teased. He released one side of Buck's face to grasp a hand against his chest, touching soft kisses to each of Buck's knuckles and palm. Buck wondered when he'd ever gotten so lucky as to have the care and love of this man directed at him, and he deliberately brushed his index finger over Eddie's jaw in a sign of affectionate thanks that made Eddie lean into it with a smile.
"Remind me again why it took you two so long to get together?" Maddie muttered and Eddie barked a laugh while Buck tilted his head to kiss the top of his sister's head.
"How long do you want to stay here?" Eddie said and Buck shrugged, knowing that – once again – his crew had seen him splinter. It hadn't felt like a complete breakdown though. He hadn't needed to curl up and cry. That…seemed like a win.
"Can I have a word first?" Maddie said and Buck's eyes slid from Eddie's to her and back again. Oh great. Her tone meant a lecture. Or a plea. Or both.
"I'll be with Chris," Eddie said, squeezing Buck's hand and leaving him with his sister like the traitorous boyfriend that he was. Buck immediately started thinking about ways to retaliate. Top of the list was withholding sex.
"Mads-"
"No, listen to me before you brush me off," Maddie said, catching his cheek and turning his head towards her. "You ever hear about dissociating in all your deep-diving through Google about PTSD?"
He flushed, eyes flicking above her head. "Maybe."
"Then what you just showed was basically textbook symptoms," she said, lips pursing together as she gazed at him, the pads of her fingers soft beneath the hard line of his jaw. "Ev, I know you don't want to talk to anyone and I get that, and I'm trying to respect that because you're my brother and I love you, but please know that those sorts of responses aren't normal, okay? You need to know that."
He sighed, drifting back to meet her big brown eyes that were stained with concern. "I know, Maddie, okay? I've known since last year I've had a problem."
"But?"
He shrugged, nuzzling against her hand and pressing a kiss to her palm. "I gotta do this my way. You can't force a guy into therapy when he's not ready for it."
"Even if I take you myself, tied to a chair?"
He snorted and wound his fingers through the gaps in hers to pull it away from his face. "You have a really weird way of showing your love for me, sister dear. Maybe you should talk about that to someone."
She swatted his shoulder and he chuckled, rising to his feet and then needing a moment when the room spun around him. He felt her hand settle between his shoulder blades, providing something steady and stable. "Ev?"
"I'm okay," he said, eyes closed until he felt oriented properly with the floor again. When he looked at her again, she was still looking restless and unconvinced and incredibly unhappy. He pulled her into his arms and she cuddled into his chest, and he wished she hadn't disappeared for so long because then he would've known at exactly what point he'd started to tower over her. "I'm okay, Maddie," he promised, rubbing a hand along the back of her shoulders.
"I'm worried about you," she said, fingers gripping his shirt. "You can't tell me Eddie isn't worried too."
It was a cheap shot but she wasn't wrong.
They returned to the party eventually with Buck determined to stay inside. He found Eddie with Chris, as promised, in the living room and Chris almost immediately abandoned the action figures to snuggle into Buck's lap once he was situated on the couch. If Eddie's arm stretched against the back of the chair behind him, fingers tracing circles on the patch of skin just above the collar of his t-shirt, wasn't enough to keep him calm then having Chris tucked against him like a baby koala definitely was.
It was impossible for some of the set-up of the party to completely change – Hen and Karen's house simply wasn't big enough – but Athena and Chim and Maddie brought as many outside decorations inside as they could. Soon enough, a blue and red and white paper chain was strung along one wall and star-shaped bunting was attached to the other. The kitchen table was pushed closer to the coffee table and the couch, with as many places set to eat as possible. Buck felt like it was all a big fuss over him and he hated it, hated feeling like he was inconveniencing the others, until Eddie whispered in his ear that Denny had invited Chris outside when Buck was talking with Maddie and Chris had refused because "the water is higher than me" and it was clear he was freaked out by the pool too.
"I didn't think he had a problem with the water?" Buck muttered, running fingers through Chris' curls while the kid watched the other two boys play on the floor.
"It shows up unexpectedly," Eddie said, like that was somehow an explanation, and Buck stopped resisting the party being moved indoors when it was just as much for Chris' benefit.
"Can you three be any cuter?" May said, appearing out of nowhere with a big grin and her phone in her hands and undoubtedly snapping a series of photos that made Chris look adorable and Eddie look flustered and Buck look surprised.
"We can try," Chris said, tipping his head to look at Eddie. "Right, Dad?"
A smile pulled at one side of Eddie's mouth as he kissed Chris' forehead. "I dunno, mijo. You're the cutest one here."
Somewhere off to the side, Buck could hear May gushing but he stuck out his bottom lip slightly. "If you don't follow that up with me being the second cutest, I'm going to be deeply offended."
Eddie laughed and kissed his shoulder. "You might be third."
"Third?"
"Well, where am I in this ranking system?" Eddie challenged, eyebrows rising and Buck pressed his lips together, gaze narrowing as he looked Eddie up and down.
"I mean, I guess you're cute," he mused as Chris giggled in his arms, fingers picking at the buttons on Buck's shirt as he stared up at both of them.
"You guess?"
"I could think of some other words," he said, eyes dropping towards Christopher and realising how closely they were being watched, before returning to Eddie. "Maybe I'll tell you later."
Eddie chuckled and kissed his cheek and Buck knew he was smiling stupidly and he could only imagine the photos that May was getting but he didn't care. It all faded into background noise when he had Eddie's arm around him and Chris in his lap and they could retreat into their own little bubble.
Almost everyone was able to cram inside to eat when Bobby and Michael were done grilling. It was noisy inside as everyone talked and laughed over each other, passing plates and bowls. In the middle of all the noise, a fork fell to the ground with a loud, metallic clatter. Eddie flinched and Buck immediately pressed his hand into Eddie's, the rise in Eddie's shoulders slowly falling as Buck squeezed his hand like it was a heartbeat. He hoped Eddie didn't notice that Chris, Bobby, Athena and Maddie had all glanced their way at the silent exchange before returning to whatever conversation had been taking place.
After eating, people had dispersed between the house and outside again. May appeared with a packet of sparklers for the kids and Chris dispatched one of his crutches so he could hold the sparkler between clenched fingers, spinning in a slow and careful circle. Eddie took a bunch of photos and then Buck looked over his shoulder while they decided on the best one to send to Isabel and Pepa and Helena. He'd just finished sending the texts when he got dragged away by Michael to see something outside but Bobby quickly filled the gap, squeezing Buck's shoulder as he sat on the arm of the couch with a bottle of water in his hand.
"How are you?" Bobby said, eyeing him with the Serious Captain Stare and Buck shrugged, a small smile still on his face as Chris discarded the used sparkler, gathered up his second crutch, and staggered away to find another.
"Sorry I couldn't help with the grilling," he said, finding the opportunity for deflection too good to pass up.
"Buck…"
He pasted on a smile, meeting Bobby's eyes. "It's still tough, alright? It's not as bad as it was but…it's there. It might always be there. And I- At some point, I'll be better at it."
Bobby pressed his lips together in a rueful sort of grimace. "I could give you another card."
Buck rolled his eyes, a more genuine smile emerging. "You know, I think Eddie might've stolen that off my coffee table last year? Cheap bastard. Couldn't even get his own."
Bobby chuckled, squeezing his shoulder again when he got pulled away by Harry.
Hen's arms slid around his shoulders from behind. "I'm so sorry for not warning you," she whispered against his ear and he reached up and wrapped his hand around her wrist. "I didn't even think about it. It's just for the summer and I-"
"Hen, it's okay." He squeezed her wrist and looked up at her. "Enjoy your party, okay? That's the more important thing right now."
She ruffled his hair and he was still trying to smooth it back into position when Maddie flopped onto the seat beside him, forcing a stupid red, white and blue tophat on his head and insisting on a series of ridiculous selfies.
It felt as though he might've had a small lapse at the start of the party but he was able to recover, feeling relaxed and buzzy again like he had after Pride. It was a huge step up from being emotionally decimated after a panic attack.
Once the main festivities were over, once the supply of sparklers had been exhausted and Buck intervened before Chris could hold a candle that spilled burning wax all over his fingers, once the afternoon sun reduced some of the sting on exposed flesh, Eddie had appeared with a particular look in his eyes and suggested leaving. Buck hadn't questioned the request, simply tucked his hand into Eddie's and squeezed.
They said their farewells and Chris had done some final posing shots for May with his decorated crutches, and then they were free.
"You want me to drive?" Buck said as Eddie finished buckling Chris into the backseat after several fumbled attempts at clicking the belt into place.
"Could you?" Eddie said, eyes darting towards the door of Hen's place.
Buck might've felt a bit wishy-washy after the episode earlier but as soon as he caught the flash of Eddie's eyes, he knew it'd be safer for all of them if his hands were on the wheel. Eddie was evidently restless and on edge, bothered by something that he wasn't able to speak about. Buck wasn't sure if it was the dropped fork, or the knowledge of all the noise to come, or maybe something else entirely. It wasn't like it mattered – he just needed to keep Eddie calm.
So he kept asking Chris questions during the drive to keep the kid talking, finding ways to make Chris laugh. At every red light, he reached across to squeeze Eddie's wrist and kept checking the distance creeping into his vision whenever Eddie looked over to him.
By the time they got home, the decision to watch a movie as a squashed-up trio was a no-brainer. It became a cuddle pile, where Eddie curled into Buck's arms and then Chris set himself in Eddie's lap. Buck kept losing track of the storyline because he'd periodically look down at Eddie, and then Chris, and wonder which Diaz was the biggest cuddle monster. But, in the same way that holding Chris soothed Buck when he was rattled by the water, the effect of Chris snuggling Eddie couldn't have been overstated because he remained steady and present.
And if they mutually decided to keep Chris between them when Eddie declared it was bedtime, and if Buck kept his hand in Eddie's across Chris' sleeping body, and if he kept the bedside light on so that every time Eddie startled awake at another too-loud bang, then Buck thought those decisions were no-brainers too.
After all, it was the least he could do to ensure his boys stayed safe and calm.
~TBC~
