Disclaimer: I own nothing; everything belongs to its rightful owners.

AN: Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read and/or review my stories, it really means the world to me! And a BIG special thank you goes to the amazingly talented purpleplasticpurse for beta reading!

Warning: dark&twisty/ some parts might be trigger-ish


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XXXV

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I Missed The Last Dance

(The Color In Anything/ Staying the night I)

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"Do you have it?" Emily asks the second David lets her in.

"You look like crap," he states, wearing a frown on his face that pushes her closer to the edge.

"If you had it for me three days ago I wouldn't feel like crap," she snaps, annoyed and desperate. "Here," she adds, reaching for the money in her coat pocket. "Give me everything you have."

"Are you insane?" David stares back at her. "What do you want to do? Spike the school's water supply?"

"You're never going to be a succesful business man if you keep asking your customers stupid questions."

"If I do that, Sarah won't talk to me ever again!"

"If Sarah finds out she won't talk to either one of us ever again," Emily clarifies with a roll of her eyes. " I suggest we don't tell her."

"What if she finds out anyway?"

"She won't. I promise."

"You're not trying to kill yourself or something, are you?"

This time Emily does roll her eyes. "Please, you should know me better by now."

David still hesitates and Emily feels her patience slip. "Make up your mind now! If you won't sell it to me I'll find it somewhere else."

"That's a lot of stuff, Emily. If you get caught with it-"

"I'm not fucking stupid, David! What do I have to do to convince you? Do we need to fuck? Or is it enough if I blow you?"

"No!" The way David moves backwards, almost with panic, makes her laugh. "Your girlfriend really got you," she mutters under her breath, offering him the money one last time.

"What is it now? Do we have a deal or not?"

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She's drifting. Feeling calm for the first time in weeks.

Her eyelids are heavy, constantly threatening to fall shut and it's such a relief after the last couple of days.

She's lying next to Julian in his dorm room, staring at the ceiling from where she's sprawled out on his bed. Her sight keeps blurring, her mind completely numb. Even if she wanted to, she can't think.

Julian isn't as high as she is, even though he's surely stoned. The smell of weed is almost too much to bear.

Emily can feel him watching her, his hands constantly trailing up her bare legs and further, trying to get under her skirt.

"I told you no," she mumbles, annoyed at how long it takes to get the words over her lips. They sound all wrong.

Julian chuckles. "Come on, Em, it's not like you're a virgin."

Emily feels the need to roll her eyes. But even that is too much to ask right now.

"You like having fun, don't you?" Julian tries again, his hand moving closer up her leg. "Let me help you relax," he mutters almost softly, bending just a little closer. He slips his fingers between her legs and under the cotton of her panties. For some reason she lets him.

"You won't achieve anything," Emily mutters, surprised how slurred her words sound.

Julian chuckles. "We'll see, honey." He pulls down her panties, before he goes for his zipper and Emily decides that, to her, it doesn't matter at all.

It's just sex.

Yet another guy she won't look at afterwards.

Julian asks her something, but somehow his words blur together, making no sense at all. He blurs too, everything does, and Emily shuts her eyes, allowing herself to let go.

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"Where the fuck have you been?" Sarah asks when she bursts into her apartment. "I waited three hours!"

Emily frowns, squinting her eyes against the glaring sunlight that's falling through the open door.

"Shut the bloody door, Sarah."

It grows dark again and Emily sinks back into her pillows. Her head hurts and her eyes sting and she's not sure she can get up without vomiting.

"What on earth did you take this time?" Sarah growls, her heels making a horrible sound on the hardwood floor when she comes closer.

"I didn't take anything," Emily mumbles. "I'm just tired."

Sarah scoffs but says nothing more about it. Her steps disappear and Emily's just glad it grows silent again.

It doesn't last though.

"Where were you last night?" Sarah asks, sitting down next to her on the mattress. The movement is enough to make Emily's stomach flip.

"Does it matter?" She presses, swallowing against the threatening sickness.

"I'm just curious."

"Why?"

"Julian told me he fucked you."

Emily stills. "What?" She asks, slowly opening her eyes. She can barely make out Sarah's face in the dark, but there's something in her voice that makes her feel deeply uncomfortable.

"Did you?" Sarah prompts. "He's an idiot. But that didn't stop you before."

"You make it sound like I'm a slut."

Sarah chuckles. "You said that, honey. Not me."

"Stop calling me that," Emily mutters, getting angrier by the second. "Why are you even here?"

"We were supposed to meet for lunch."

Emily frowns. "What time is it?"

"Five pm."

This time, Emily sits up fast. "Why didn't you call me?" She asks, getting out of bed and searching for her clothes in the dimly lit room.

"I did," Sarah informs her calmly. "At least thirty-seven times before I decided to come here personally. What the fuck did you take that you didn't even hear your phone?"

Not bothering with an answer, Emily reaches for a stack of clothes on her desk, turning in the direction of her bathroom.

"Can you drive me?"

"You have a car, don't you?"

"I'm supposed to meet my mother in less than twenty-fives minutes, Sarah, can you drive me or not?" Emily mutters, already fumbling with the tab.

She can't hear Sarah's answer from over the rush of the water, but she hopes it's a yes.

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Sitting across from her mother at the restaurant, Emily feels awful.

She's restless in a way that makes it impossible to sit still for even a minute. Her head hurts so much she can't focus on anything, and if she had to guess, she'd say her heart is beating way too fast. There's sweat beading on her forehead; she's sure that if she even tried to take a bite of the undoubtedly very expensive food on the plate in front of her, she'd throw up.

"Are you ill?" Her mother asks, and Emily looks up to meet her eyes. She doesn't look worried, just outrightly annoyed. Her brows are slightly raised, disappointment written all over her features.

Emily doesn't answer. It's not like her mother doesn't know the truth anyway.

"You missed a lot of classes lately. Your professors are worried."

"Are they?" Emily muses, trying to look at anything but her plate.

"I fixed it," her mother adds casually and Emily shuts her eyes, knowing exactly what that means. "I expect you to do the rest. You can do what you want as long as you manage to graduate at the top of your class. Do you understand?"

Emily only manages a nod, swallowing the bile rising in her throat.

"Did you drive here by yourself?"

"No," Emily answers truthfully, wishing she told Sarah to wait for her. A wave of dizziness surprises her and she has to reach for the table to steady herself.

"Keep it together, Emily," her mother warns, already waving someone over from behind her back. "My daughter isn't feeling well. Could you please take her home?"

It's an order, not only for the poor guy doomed to work for her mother, but her as well. An order to leave and not embarrass her any further.

"Emily," her mother adds, calm but commanding. "If I get a call like that ever again, I'll take matters into my own hands. And you certainly won't like the outcome."

Emily isn't sure she wants to find out.

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She's lying on her back, her eyes on the ceiling.

Aaron's head is nestled between her legs, her fingers in his hair and she wishes it would make her feel anything, but it doesn't.

A part of her wants him to stop, and another wants him to keep going so at least he won't ask her any questions.

But tonight she can't even pretend, so she pulls him back up to press her lips against his only a moment later.

She can feel him hesitate, and for a second she's afraid he's noticed something isn't right. She pulls him closer between her legs, guiding him inside of her, and instead of stopping, he gives in with a moan.

He sucks at her neck and while this would drive her deliciously insane any other day, tonight it doesn't. All she wants is to get it over with.

She holds him in that position, glad that he can't get a glimpse of her face. She moves just enough to keep him going until he finally comes with a shuddering breath.

For a while there's nothing, only Aaron breathing hard against her ear and Emily feels the sudden need to push him off of her. Thinking clearly now, he must have sensed it instantly, because he draws back slightly, then completely when he gets a look at her eyes.

She rolls over and away from him, blindly reaching for her blanket to cover her naked body. She wants him to leave but she's not sure how to explain that it's not his fault.

She hears him get up and start to dress in the dark. She's almost relieved, but she's not sure what to say to make him understand.

To her surprise, he has no intention of leaving. Once he's fully dressed, he lies back down next to her. Close, but not too close.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, Emily." He states quietly. There's regret in his voice. Emily swallows her tears.

"Why didn't you tell me to stop?" He wants to know, confused but also worried, and Emily isn't sure how to answer.

"It's not your fault," she whispers, fighting against the tears threatening to fall.

"That doesn't make me feel any better now," he notes and Emily can't help but sob. Her shoulders shake while tears tumble down her cheeks and there's nothing she can do to stop it.

She can feel him reach for her, so agonizingly slow and careful it only makes her cry harder.

He pulls her close against his chest, barely even touching her and yet he's holding her in his arms. Emily isn't sure she's ever felt this safe before.

It's the first time she falls asleep in his arms.

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When she wakes up, sunlight is flooding her apartment. Sitting up in her bed, Emily frowns, wondering who would be persistent enough to bother opening all the curtains.

She remembers a moment later when she catches sight of Aaron's suit jacket, neatly draped over the back of a chair.

Briefly closing her eyes, Emily reaches for an oversized t-shirt at the end of her bed. She retrieves a hair tie from her nightstand, pulling her hair into a messy ponytail before getting out of bed.

She finds him in her kitchen, two cups of coffee already ready on the counter. He's looking through her cabinets, surely searching for something to make for breakfast.

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, Emily watches him quietly, raking her mind for the right words. She has to say something, but she doesn't even know where to start.

"You won't find anything in there," she finally says, meeting his gaze when he turns around to look at her.

"I figured," he answers, the hint of amusement in his voice. "At least you got coffee," he points out when he hands her a cup. His button-down is slightly wrinkled, just like his suit pants. And she wonders how he's going to explain to Haley where he's been all night.

"I'm sorry," Emily tells him. Looking down at the cup of coffee in her hands, she wishes she had something better to offer.

"Remind me to bring something for breakfast next time."

Emily looks up. He leans with his back against the kitchen counter, his cup of coffee casually in his hands and something in his eyes she doesn't quite-

It takes Emily about thirty seconds to realize he's offering her an easy way out.

No questions asked this time.

"Sounds like a date to me," she answers, a smile curling at the corners of her mouth.

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Disclaimer: I own nothing; everything belongs to its rightful owners.