WARNING: This chapter deals with a very sensitive topic that many people have strong feelings about. Please read my author's note at the end of the chapter before leaving me angry messages. Thank You.


Disclaimer: I do not have the rights to SOA and make no profit from my writing. Anything you don't recognize from the show I have created.


Content Warning: This fanfiction is rated M. Please respect that warning and do not read this if you do not want to read M rated material.


I no longer have a beta, so all mistakes are my own.


2023

Age 31

Shark sat at the bar with his beer and pulled out his phone. He texted Kaye a few times, got no response. He went ahead and called her, it disconnected after 1 ring. He sighed and finished his beer. No wonder she wanted some kind of commitment last night. A baby. She was gonna have his baby. He broke into a smile and jogged out to his bike. He would just go see her in person.

He pulled up outside her apartment complex and saw her car. Good, she was here, he thought. He took the stairs up to the second floor 2 at a time out of excitement and knocked on her door.

He got no response and knocked louder. "Kaye, I know you're in there, I saw your car. Let me in, we need to talk."

He got nothing but silence in return.

"Kaye, hun…I know. I know about the baby. Let me in."

Kaye slowly opened the door and Shark pushed his way in. He took her face in his hands and kissed her long and hard. "Why didn't you tell me? Kaye, a baby! We're gonna have a baby!"

"No." Kaye shoved him a foot away. "We're not."

"What are you talking about? Carol told me. Why didn't you tell me yesterday? You know I want a baby. You know I want to be a father."

"Yeah, I know." Kaye said quietly. "But I didn't want you to keep me around just for a baby. You said you didn't want me. You didn't know about the baby and you didn't want me. Now you're happy. Well too bad. I'm not a baby factory. I wanted you to be with me for me. Not for a baby."

"Kaye, I'm sorry. You caught me off guard. No, I didn't think we were serious, but this changes everything. We're gonna be parents, you and me."

"Carol shouldn't have told you. I'm not staying here Shark; I'm going home to Michigan."

Shark grabbed her arm and stopped her from stepping away. "You're not taking my baby to Michigan." He said sternly.

"Oh god, Shark. There is no baby."

"Carol said-"

"I shouldn't have told Carol. She shouldn't have told you. You didn't want me for me, Shark. I'm not here to be some side piece baby mamma."

Shark stared at her confused. "There is no baby?"

"I…I got rid of it." She whispered.

"You…you got rid of…you killed my baby?" Shark let go of her and stepped back.

"You said you didn't want me-"

"YOU KILLED MY BABY?" He yelled at her.

"Shark…" She stepped back a few feet, scared of the look on his face.

Shark had no more words. He stormed out of the house and peeled away on his bike.


Gabby was sitting at the kitchen table writing out a meal plan for the week when she heard the knock on the door. It was unusual. Anyone who would feel comfortable enough to come over after the kids went to bed usually walked right in these days. She got up quickly before whoever it was rang the doorbell.

"Shark," she gasped as he just about fell through the open door way. He was beyond drunk, swaying on his feet. She wrapped an arm around him and maneuvered him to the bottom stare to sit down before he collapsed.

She sat down next to him. "Shark, what in the world, did you drive here?"

"Gabby." He buried his head in his hands and wailed her name.

"Shark, what is it, talk to me, you're freaking me out."

"She killed my baby." He mumbled and turned to bury his head in her neck. He wrapped his arms around her and held on for dear life.

Gabby rubbed circles on his back and shushed him as she would one of her kids.

"Kaye?" She asked.

"She didn't tell me. She just killed him. She didn't even tell me."

"Okay, okay, Shark." She ran a hand through his hair and started to sway slightly the same way she did when Matthew cried in her arms. "I'm right here Shark. I'm right here."

After 20 or so minutes Gabby walked him into the den and plopped him down on the couch. She sat down next to him and he stretched out, laying his head in her lap. She stroked his hair. Her heart broke for him. All he had ever wanted was a family. A baby. How could Kaye have taken that away from him?


Gabby knocked on Shark's door Sunday morning. She had watched him deteriorate all week. He had always been a heavy drinker, but he had gotten much worse. Even Vin had approached her on the amount of drinking he was doing. He was quiet and withdrawn, not even up to picking fights with Bull on the job site. Gabby knocked one more time before using her key and going inside.

The inside of Shark's house made her feel worse. There were more empty liquor bottles strewn about. Something absolutely awful smelling was coming out of the kitchen. The coffee table in the living room was covered in empty bottles and take out containers. At least he was eating.

She headed back to his bedroom and stopped in the doorway. He was still passed out, street clothes on, on top of the covers of his bed. More empty bottles were on the nightstand and floor. Dirty clothes were everywhere. She checked her watch and decided not to wake him just yet. She collected his dirty clothes into his hamper and started a load of clothes. She came back for the empty bottles and had to make 4 trips. She took out the recycling from around the house and started on collecting the trash so she could get rid of the smell.

She changed the loads from the washer to the dryer and went back to check on Shark. His progress included rolling over on the bed. She sat down next to him and laid her hand on his chest.

"Shark." She said in a normal voice. She added a shake and then repeated his name a few more times, louder each time. He made no move to get up. Gabby went to the kitchen and filled a big glass of cold water from the faucet. She came back to Shark's room and slowly started dripping the water over his face. She wasn't sure if she was being nice, or possibly waterboarding him, but it did the trick. Half way through the glass he started to stir, swiping his hands at the stream of water before sending the glass flying out of Gabby's hands.

"What the fuck?" He exclaimed, not bothering to sit up in bed.

"Shark."

"Gabby?" He turned his head and squinted his eyes at her. "Is something wrong?" He immediately reached out to her.

"Yeah Shark, somethings wrong."

He sat up and took stock of his room as his head spun. He definitely hadn't left it like that last night.

"You cleaned." He stated, swiping a hand over his wet face.

"Yeah, and did laundry, and took out the nuclear waste you had in your kitchen. Come on Shark. It's 3 o'clock. You need to get up."

He rubbed a hand over the top of his head and didn't budge as she attempted to shove him. He wrapped an arm around her and dragged her back down to lay with him in bed instead.

"I like it in here. It's dark, and no one talks to me. Usually." He added and turned his head so his cheek laid on her hair.

"Shark, I know what you're going through, but you gotta come up for air. You can't keep this up."

"How could you possibly know what I'm going through?" Shark snapped at her.

Gabby shoved her way back off the bed and loomed over him. "I lost a baby too. One I knew about and loved for a lot longer than you did."

"You didn't kill it. It just died." He sat up and pushed off the bed.

"Shark." She said in her disappointed mom voice.

"Gabby, it's all I ever wanted."

"No, that's not true. You wanted a wife that loved you, and a family to come home to every night. You didn't want 1 weekend a month with a baby that was being raised by a mom that hated you."

"I would have married her."

"For the baby, not for her. Just like she said."

"Are you defending her?!" He yelled back.

She rested her hands on his shoulders. "No, I'm not. I'm saying you didn't lose your family. You lost a chance. You have no idea what it would have been like. Do you even know for sure you were the father?"

"Yeah…no…yeah…I don't know. I would have been. I would have been that baby's father."

"Yeah, and you probably would have been amazing. But you have to stop romanticizing the idea and snap back to reality. It happened; you can't change it. You can't go back now. Just like I can't go back and have another baby with Casper."

"Oh god, Gabby." He held onto her torso, rubbing her stomach with his thumbs and rested his forehead on top of her head. "I know, I know what you're saying. But this is what I always wanted."

"You always wanted to knock up a sweet butt you had no feelings for?"

"I…I know you're right." He kissed her head before letting go of her and taking a step back. "She just should have told me. If she didn't want to be with me…I would have taken full custody of the kid, I wouldn't have made her stick around."

"You would just ask her to be a baby factory for 9 months, put her body through horrible permanent changes and pain, to walk away and never see you or your kid again."

"Yes! No. Not like that, that's not what I meant. Don't go all women's rights on me Gabby, not now. I know. Her body, her choice. But it was MY baby." He hit his chest. "My baby." He repeated.

"And now you know just how much you really want that baby. And maybe you'll give up your ridiculous list of expectations and find a girl you want to raise a family with."

"Yeah…yeah. I would have made a life with Kaye. We would have been a family."

"You can still have that with someone else." Gabby ran a hand up and down his arm. "Come on, go take a shower and put some clean clothes on. Tig promised me a home cooked meal when I got you back to the house. And I want to get there before he has time to hide the takeout boxes."

"Gabby?"

"Yeah Shark?"

"You really think you'll never have another baby?"

"Casper will be gone till I'm 50. Not really the baby making years. I'm done. I lost my last chance."

"I'm sorry. I never thought about that. You…the kids….baby number 3…being gone. I never thought of you as being done."


One month later

Gabby changed for bed and turned out the lights. She snuggled into her empty bed, hugging her husbands' pillow that no longer smelled like him. He had called today; before dinner. He had talked to each of the kids for a few minutes before her. He had begged her to bring the kids to come see them. Had apologized for his attitude of late and begged her to be able to see his family. He was lonely, he was losing his mind, all he thought of, day and night, were her and the kids.

He had flip flopped a lot in the months of being gone. Loving and all about family, and then angry and bitter. It had gotten to the point that she dreaded her phone calls with him. The kids were too young to go to the prison, she said maybe Kristen, maybe in a year or 2. He had begged her more. She promised to send him pictures, and drawings. She had promised to be there in 2 weeks to visit him.

It was never enough. He always wanted more, begged for more, demanded more. His blame came through clear as day even if he didn't say it. His imprisonment was her fault, she owed him.

Gabby sighed and turned over to her other side. She told herself she and the kids were doing fine without him, but it was a lie. She was so lonely she cried herself to sleep most nights. And Kristen was miserable. Matthew still called out for his daddy in the middle of the night when he woke up.

She had to get the kids passed this. She couldn't keep holding them while they cried for him.


PLEASE READ BEFORE LEAVING A REVIEW:

I want to be very clear; I did NOT write this chapter to start a debate about abortion rights. I myself am Pro-choice. I have never been in the position to have to use that choice to get an abortion, but I believe all women deserve that choice. That being said, I have always struggled with the idea of whether or not, under certain circumstances, the father of the baby has a say in the matter. I don't think I will ever come up with a clear answer on this.

I had the line "You killed my baby" in mind for Shark to say for YEARS now. It was what I could imagine as being the absolute worst thing to happen to him. And unfortunately, writing a good story means putting your characters in pain.

Hopefully anyone who is angry about the topic of this chapter has taken the time to read this little note.


Please leave reviews, comments, criticisms, questions, guesses, requests, and smiley faces in the box below.