Hey Everyone!
Surprise! Did you really think I would leave you guys on a cliffhanger that bad? Come on! Am I that evil (the answer to that is yes).
As fabulously always, thank you to the new wonderful subscribers that grace my screen. All of you deserve peace and good health and money, get that money. To the best reviewers in the entire world: LisaPark, OneWhoReadsTooMuch, Rubyia, Alice-Ann Wonderland, mercigirl01, zikashigaku, LoveFiction2020, Hinanui98, WolfLover93, akina speranza, River, 3AMPANIC, JaceSienna98, and Guest. Thank you for all being a glimmer of joy in the middle of this pandemic, you all truly make my day so much better. Even if you guys leave the littlest comment, it makes my anxiety lessen and I forget about my troubles, sometimes for the whole day. So truly, thank you so much!
ALRIGHT! YOU READY! (no)
ENJOY!
P.S. I DON'T OWN NOTHING
"Let go of me, Noah!"
Bennett's breath on her neck sent shivers down her spine. She elbowed him in the gut as best as she could, but she soon felt the vest against her, and Noah's arms crushing her into him. She tried her best to control her breathing as Noah practically crushed her to him, making it almost impossible to move without him having full control over her. Although Lou was terrified that Noah was touching her, she couldn't hide the thought that Noah was right beside her, and if she focused hard enough, she could get the upper hand on him.
After all, he did leave her weapons on her person.
I need Noah to look away from me.
"Why?" He said, smelling her hair.
"I'm having too much fun."
She struggled in his grip, but the professor was intelligent. She knew he had the physical strength on her and was able to keep her restricted. Even though he had been shot and stabbed, Lou knew that Noah carried a strength that was borderline superhuman. Even if she did everything she could, claw, bite, scream, pry… Noah would be resilient to any of her actions.
He couldn't truly feel physical pain. Not when he was in his frenzied state,
It didn't stop her from trying.
"Lucille," Noah was enjoying her struggle. "When did you fight like this? Honestly, had you done this years ago, it would have made you more interesting."
"Because I learned what's worth fighting for." She bit out, struggling to get his hands off of her.
"And fighting you is always worth it."
Just look away! Turn your head!
Lou tried kicking Noah from behind, but he locked her leg from being able to move. Her frustrations had gotten the best of her.
"Oooh, you're so feisty. Come on, stab me here. You know you'd like to, my pet."
She shuttered at his nickname for her.
Lou stomped on his foot as best as she could.
It made Noah laugh even harder.
"I barely felt that!"
"You… You…"
"Me… what?" He prompted, still laughing.
He was feeding off of her fear.
"You… Douchebag McGee."
Noah cackled, throwing his head back.
"Even your insults are adorable."
She tried kicking him again, but he stopped her.
"Elena, Elena, my, you know you're not allowed to hit me."
"You're not allowed to call her Elena."
The flash of light she saw when she turned had quickly faded, and behind it, had been the man she was looking for.
The man she decided that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
The man that she decided she needed to do better for.
The man she decided, after realizing he would follow her halfway across the world to save her, deserved to have her back.
Only if he wanted her back.
The man she left clues for.
Her man.
Her Tinman.
Doctor Spencer Reid had his revolver pointed at Bennett, determination on his face.
"Listen to her. Let her go."
"Oh," Noah scoffed. "You think me a fool?"
"Absolutely. Let her go."
Spencer's comment had set Noah off.
She heard Noah's blade flick open.
It took Lou away from the situation right there and then, realizing he must have gone back for the blade, as it was sitting on the stairs in the front foyer after Lou launched her own blade into his forearm.
The blade was across the Manor, and yet it was back in Noah's hand so soon?
But how could he have gotten across the Manor that quickly? Lou spent years timing herself on how fast it would take to get from one end of the Manor to the other – there was no way Noah was moving around the place unless he had a motorized set of wheels helping him, even with the super speed Noah was capable of.
Maybe when she was knocked out due to the chloroform? Would he have had enough time to go back? The only machinery Lou heard was his evil machine, so there was nothing to aid him in moving fast that she was aware of. While he was scarily fast, Lou knew that Bennett was also human, he only had so many capabilities within himself.
That meant one thing.
He's not alone in the Manor.
He can't be.
Noah works alone.
He wouldn't risk anyone else in his plans.
"You know, your precious Lou has destroyed my hand. However," she tried to hold her gasp when she felt the cold blade on her face, "it won't stop me from carving her face. It will just lack a bit of finesse."
Lou did her best to forget the blade on her face.
It began to trigger her to remember that night in the crashed car.
She focused on the task at hand.
Just one second. I need him to look away for one second!
She watched Spencer's face to sooth herself.
It was lit up with anger and determination.
Spencer wanted to push Noah.
That was dangerous on its own.
"Put the knife down."
"Make me, boy."
"I will."
"Quite the threat from a man like you."
Noah pushed the blade into Lou's cheek. He hadn't pressed hard, but she felt the sharp edge was awfully close to piercing her skin if he applied a bit more pressure. Lou tried to hide her expression, however, having that old knife by her face again brought back all the painful memories from the night of the accident, and all the memories of using pharmaceutical drugs to stop the pain and memories from coming back.
She had spent years waking up to the nightmare thinking Noah had carved her face again. The man had taken years from her and made her develop an ongoing addiction she fought everyday.
To have that silver blade right where it was so many years ago elicited a negative response from Lou immensely, and she couldn't hide the emotions that overcame her.
Spencer must have saw her face change because Lou watched as the anger he had completely dissipated, and the eagerness to push Noah had stopped.
He put his gun to his side, his other hand going into his pocket.
Spencer disengaged immediately after seeing his Ellie distraught.
Noah laughed.
"You really think I wouldn't do it? I've been waiting to get to the other side of her face."
"Elena."
Her eyes flickered to the warm brown ones she loved. Truth be told, she thought she would never get to see those precious eyes again, but there she was, staring at her beloved Spencer, who had nothing but adoration for her when he looked back at her. She was ready for all the anger he had, and she knew he had that anger, but to see him look at her the way he always did left her feeling with the worst kind of guilt.
The moment she looked at his face, she regretted leaving him behind, regretting creating all of these secrets and leaving him in the dark. For what? She knew he was going to figure it out eventually. Keeping him away from Noah had been in vain. She should have known better, known that if there was nothing that would stop her from protecting the ones she cared about, then there would also be nothing stopping Spencer from doing the same.
She evaluated the way he looked at her. It was for a mere second, but she saw the abundant amount of affection that had come from his eyes. It was similar to how her father looked towards her mother.
Lou froze in that moment.
It wasn't just affection.
It was…
Love.
Spencer's eyes were filled with love.
Lou felt Noah remove the blade from her skin, before using his good hand grab onto her face. The relief was only temporary as his thumb began digging into her cheek, cupping her chin in his palm in a mocking manner towards the Doctor.
"Oh, your little sweet Elena, oh my, so innocent, so pure. Not so much now that I've tainted her. She wants to kill me now, end my life. Is that true, Elena? Is that what you want, hm? Didn't get your chance the first and second time?"
She saw Spencer's eyes gain its curiosity from Noah's taunt.
"She's never taken any opportunity to hurt me. Different from the previous woman you met. Right, Elena? Hm? Can't speak? Has this cat finally got your tongue?"
Look away Noah!
Noah had her mouth clamped down on purpose.
He knew how powerful she was when she spoke.
"You see, Lou's my little mouse. I've always had my fun chasing her." His nose went to behind Lou's ear, where his lips were dangerously close to her skin, whispering in her ear.
"She's particularly good at running away. Sorry, not running, but more… getting away easily and , you've just been made aware of this, but that's why Lou has always been the most fun." He took a deep breath, grabbing her face tighter. "No matter how far away she pushed herself from me… she always managed… to find her little mouse trap… right back to me."
With each moment Noah held Lou, he had been intoxicated by her. Lou could feel him getting excited to finally be near her again, having her within close range again, within killing range, after she was close to hurting him multiple times, and getting aware every time. It drove Noah absolutely mad, and Lou knew it did.
His lips touched the back of her ear, and she was transported to all of those times Noah had been sweet with her. He was only kind to her when showing her physical affection. He was only passionate with her after she conceded.
He was only a warm individual when he stole the warmth from her.
He manipulated her for his own selfish gain by using her mind, body, and soul.
Had this been eight years ago, Lou would have cowered under his touch.
But Lou didn't fear his cold, clammy hands.
Not anymore.
Lou's elbow instinctively launched backwards, nailing Noah on the side of the head.
He paid no mind to her attack.
"Oof, I forgot." Noah thought her hitting him was hilarious. "She's not a mouse anymore."
The hand that had been previously holding her face went back to its spot, tightening its grip.
"She's a rat," he spewed, and Lou began feeling the pressure of Noah's grip. "Telling everyone of my skills that I worked so hard to keep a secret. Hm? You hear me?" He gestured towards Lou.
"You don't think I didn't notice Jareau wouldn't have the techies pull my name after approaching her child on the hill? Or how your friends Morgan and Garcia have been running amuck with my file? Or that stupid Interpol newbie who didn't know the unwritten rules, and flew across the ocean after finding out my manifest of weapons?"
His nails were practically digging into her skin.
"They all know my name because you know my name. I've been watching you, Lucille, for years. I've kept my distance, waiting, knowing that you were eager to finish the job. You hadn't stirred up trouble until now. Did you really think with who I am and what I am capable of, you'd be able to live after what you've done? To my car? To my name? To me?"
He's crushing my jaw.
He's really hurting me.
"What do you have to say to that, Elena?"
She heard Spencer's gun cock back, looking to see it was back aimed at Noah, both hands now on the handle.
This time, his face was focused.
Almost as if…
No…
I think…
Spencer has a plan.
"Ah. Now it's a party, Doctor Reid."
Noah's attention was still on her.
"Tell me why you took Antoinette Richardson." Spencer prompted.
Lou blinked in confusion.
…What?
It was a fairly obvious question.
To lure Lou to the Manor, so Bennett could capture her and torture her.
She was confused why Spencer would ask that question in that moment.
The assassin scoffed.
"What a stupid question."
Spencer didn't budge.
"Tell me."
Bennett rolled his eyes. "To lure the youngest Richardson, of course. How else am I going to get my hands on this woman when she refuses to be in my presence?"
Spencer didn't show any emotion on his face.
What is he thinking?
"Noah Bennett, you kidnapped the CEO of a multimillion-dollar corporation so you could subsequently torture her daughter?"
She felt Noah's grip on her face tighten.
It was out of excitement.
"Yes. Shall I repeat myself? I'm more than happy to play this cat and mouse chase again."
The smile that appeared on the Doctor slightly unnerved Bennett.
"Oh, well now that you've mentioned it."
Spencer, even more oddly, holstered his gun.
Even Noah could feel how off the doctor was, until it was the professor who saw what Spencer pulled out of his pocket.
It took Lou a moment, but she did figure out what her Tinman had in his hand.
The sonic screwdriver that she left for Spencer when they were at the abandoned barn.
He found it!
Lou had kept the Doctor Who paraphernalia in her bag as an actual screwdriver, as the small attachments were able to fit screws in the handle of her new knives. It was a versatile tool, with it also being a pocketknife, a lighter, and many other features on the item both analog and digital. Did she happen to have actual screwdrivers that could fit her blades that she could have also easily taken so that the sonic screwdriver would have still been at Spencer's home? Possibly, but she wouldn't have had a piece of him with her.
If he had her scarf, she wanted his screwdriver.
She intended on giving the sonic screwdriver back to Spencer, but with her mother's life at risk, she couldn't have waited in person to give it to him. Lou did the best she could, and she was grateful he figured out where to find the beloved Christmas present in her makeshift Tinman. Lou thought it was a genuine coincidence that she had brought the device with her (it wasn't), but she took the opportunity to allow the universe to play out whatever it had planned and hopefully return the said item back to its owner.
Lou wondered why he would pull out the sonic screwdriver…
Until she remembered the features on the said sonic screwdriver.
The professor recalled the conversation she had with Spencer, on Christmas Eve, when she had given him the device.
"Flashlight, laser pointer, six pens, each coloured, microphone equipped with voice recording software, lighter, screwdriver with interchangeable heads, five different types of knives, scissors, hidden camera, including memory with twenty gigabits, and, of course, lock picks within a compartment on the side.."
It was a specific line she was looking for.
"…microphone equipped with voice recording software…"
Now she knew why Spencer asked that question.
It wasn't so that Spencer could get a clear understanding.
It was so that Spencer could get Noah's name on record stating he had broken the law.
Which is what Noah had been avoiding his entire career.
Evidence against his name.
The good Doctor pointed the device at Bennett.
"If you want to speak directly into the microphone, that would be great."
The professor couldn't help but giggle.
Spencer Reid had gotten Noah Bennett to inadvertently admit to a crime.
To which Noah Bennett, who didn't have any crimes on paper, would cause a problem.
An excessively big problem.
"That's… a coerced statement." Bennet said, to which Lou could feel his grip slightly falter. "It's inadmissible."
Spencer smirked. "It's the act of admission I'm after. I'm sure your friends back at MI6, and even Interpol, wouldn't be pleased that you gave such sensitive information willingly, considering they've trained you for years to do the complete opposite. Also, did you forget that the FBI is required to record all communications on their lines? Something about bureaucratic red tape. But you've already admitted multiple crimes, so this recording isn't even needed."
He put the sonic screwdriver back into his pocket.
"I just wanted to do it for fun."
That statement is what caused Noah to shift his attention.
"You bastard!"
Spencer's plan must have been just to distract him, to have Noah let go of Lou, so that all the attention would go onto the Doctor.
He wouldn't have been able to realize what Lou had planned.
There was no way for Spencer to it was the perfect distraction for Lou in that moment.
Noah turned his head.
His blade had been in the position to directly charge at Spencer.
It was what Lou feared.
But also, what she was prepared for.
He, finally, looked away from Lou.
Now.
Noah didn't bother to take a look at the weapons Lou had on her body, which was his biggest mistake.
Why do you keep underestimating me?
He assumed that she was only decked out in knives, and the slingshot, and any smoke bombs she had, all tucked into her thigh pocket, and while he wasn't entirely wrong, he should have known better than to underestimate Lou.
However, it wasn't a knife she had waiting for him.
She reached into her thigh pocket, where Noah thought she kept a blade, and pulled out a long tube, opening the lid.
Without thinking, she found Noah's arm, the one that had been gripping her face.
With one hand, she held his arm in place.
In the other hand, a syringe filled with Lou's old drug mix had been occupied, coming out of the protective tube it was encased in.
In a second, she managed to stab Noah with the syringe.
She pressed the plunger as quickly as she could before kicking back at Noah, throwing her arms out in front of her in defence to escape.
She remembered her father's training, to throw her entire body weight onto the floor and to throw her hips back at the same time to get away from an individual grabbing her from behind. Her father's teachings always helped her, and in that moment, she was able to push away from Noah, as he was disoriented with a needle sticking out of his arm. Her body came propelling forward, and as if he was supposed to be, Spencer had been right there, anticipating her to come directly to him.
Spencer caught her, and the second he had his hands on her, the Doctor pulled the Professor right up to his side.
Her body felt at ease when Spencer's arms were around her.
It was something she didn't have to see.
She barely had time to enjoy Spencer's arms around her before she turned to Bennett, who had fallen to his knees.
"What…"
She knew Bennett would be confused with the feeling.
He never took any pharmaceuticals, which is why she knew it was the best option to stop Noah Bennett. To use her knowledge on prescriptions to stop him. To take the pain he had inadvertently given her, and to throw it right back in his face. To get him close enough to her where she could incapacitate him without causing him any physical harm. To get him locked up and registered under Interpol's Most Wanted rather than Interpol's Most Regarded.
Lou didn't want Noah dead.
But she had to convince him that she was ready to kill him.
The thing was…
Lou was absolutely and irrevocably ready to kill Noah Bennett…
If it came down to it.
She was grateful that she didn't have to.
That was her plan all along, to avoid killing Noah as much as possible without anyone thinking otherwise. But she had to prepare herself in the event that she did, because the possibility was too great. Which is why she had planned so many other plans, just to ensure that there had been every possible outcome to stop Noah from wreaking havoc, and to also minimize as much death as she could. Even so, it was something she had to keep to herself, she had to make everyone believe she had gone rogue.
She had to make even Noah believe that she was going to kill him.
That meant she had to lie to everyone, to make them believe that she had become something she wasn't, save for Emily, Zion, and her father. She had made the decision to end Noah's life when she was younger, but she knew better. That was her back then. That was a desperate young woman trying to get out of a horrible situation without thinking of the consequences.
This time, she realized what the consequences were.
It was too large of a risk to take.
Not when it came to her heart.
Lou had to be prepared to kill him, however. If he had put her life in danger.
She was better than Noah, and she wasn't going to let him bring her down to his level.
She grew. She learned. She changed.
Noah didn't. He remained predictable.
Which is why her plan was successful.
It had been dangerous, but it was still successful.
"What… did you do… to me…"
Noah's voice was slurring.
Lou sighed out of relief, noting that a semi-unconscious Noah was the second-best Noah.
A fully unconscious Noah was at the top of the list.
"The mix is oxycodone mixed with lorazepam. You're going to be super high right now, and then end up having a really good nap."
"You…" He fell to his side, trying to steady himself. "Won't…"
Noah Bennett toppled over finally, his body finally steadying himself.
Seeing Noah's immobile body, as his eyes shut, had caused a ripple to run through Lou.
As if eight years of pain and suffering at the hands of Noah Bennett drew itself out of her.
It had been so long since she felt safe, and she knew it was because of the man that had been right beside her.
Spencer…
The professor looked to her doctor, knowing that he would be furious with her.
She was ready for her to be at the centre of his wrath.
What she wasn't expecting was his lips against hers.
When Lou felt hands on her face this time, they hadn't been cold and clammy. They had been warm and familiar and inviting and comforting and everything she wanted to have when there was someone she loved near her, holding her close. Those hands held her face softly, knowing how precious they were to her. It had only been a week, but it had felt like years to her being away from him. Although she didn't regret running away, she did regret the way she did it. She lied to the man she loves. Although it was for a good reason, it was something she never thought she was capable of doing.
The guilt of leaving him consumed Lou, and she couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
Spencer only had kissed her more passionately, using his arm to pull her closer to him.
There had been agents now coming into the hallway, with their flashlights illuminating the room as they were securing a now unconscious Bennett. Lou knew that she was putting on a massive public display of affection, but her rational mind completely tuned out everything else except for Doctor Spencer Reid. In that moment however, Spencer didn't care if Cruz himself was watching him, he had his Elena in his arms. The whole world could be burning around him, civilizations could be collapsing, earthquakes erupting…
Nothing was going to pull him from his Professor.
Never again.
"You didn't kill him," Spencer whispered.
Lou looked into his eyes, watching as he looked back.
He figured out my plan.
"You never planned on killing him."
She shook her head, confirming.
"I knew not to make the same mistake twice."
Spencer breathed harshly. His eyes were closed now, his forehead resting against hers, and Lou could tell the face that he made currently was when he had the answer to his theory, but still did the work to get to the result. He was most likely deducing what steps she took to ensure Noah would remain alive (to her ability). The frustrated furrow in his eyebrow made an appearance, and Lou was so grateful she was able to see that furrowed eyebrow in person.
It was another blessing she counted.
Spencer lifted his head to look at his Ellie.
"You had to convince Noah that you were going to kill him. In turn, you had to convince everyone else that you were willing to as well."
Lou could only nod.
The sigh of relief was all it took for Lou to understand the weight of Bennett's potential death was on his shoulders, and what a huge comfort it was to know he was wrong.
"I miscalculated," he whispered finally.
"No," her hand came to his face softly. "You thought I would do anything to protect the ones I love. You were right, Spencer. I did anything I could do to keep myself safe."
The levelled look he gave made Lou correct herself.
"As safe as I could be," she said, realizing that she had been covered in cuts, scrapes, and too many bruises on top of the mental wounds she had just endured.
Lou gasped, her mind active, remembering all the teammates.
"Zion? Derek?"
"Zion was taken to the hospital to have his injuries assessed. Derek's talking on the comms, getting assisted by the EMTs. They're stable."
Lou was afraid to ask, but she knew she had to.
"Derek said there was a bomb…"
Spencer's face turned grim.
"Emily… Is she…"
The Doctor exhaled slowly.
"She got caught by debris. She's critical, but stable. The medics were transporting her to hospital before Derek came back onto the comms."
That was when Lou noticed a crucial piece she was missing.
Morgan turned off his communications.
She physically watched him turn them back on.
But why were they off?
"What? Derek turned off his comms? Why?"
Spencer was still quiet.
Lou knew he didn't want to tell her.
"What happened?"
The doctor was hesitant in his response.
"Noah hacked into the comms and was taunting the team. He was… making us choose between you and Derek."
"And Derek chose himself, oh Lord."
She watched as Spencer's face recalled what apparently was a painful memory.
"He was talking about… the car accident."
Lou froze.
The car accident where it was Lou's first-time stopping Bennett. When Seri and Matteo and Zion had risked their lives to stop Bennett, only now there had been more people with much more lives at risk.
What did Noah say about the car accident?
"Noah… was talking about how your body had been lifeless at the time, telling us of how the car crashed, and how you were at his mercy currently… he was trying to trigger one of us to lash at him. Garcia was working on pushing Noah off the comms when Morgan turned his off to get Bennett off his trail. Garcia was able to get Bennett off from the comms when Morgan came back on the line with you."
Lou nodded, realizing her guilt and the weight of her actions becoming more and more apparent. Spencer could easily see the guilt on her face but didn't cut into her thoughts at that moment. He couldn't hide the fact that he had been downright elated his Elena, his Ellie had been back with him, however, he still couldn't hide the fact he was angry with her.
Regardless of what happened physically, the team knew that any pain or suffering they had was solely the responsibility of Noah Bennett. The reason why Lou acted in such a selfish and irrational manner was for an exceptionally selfless and rational reason. Although there had been physical pain, everyone was alive, including a man Reid wanted dead. Although it wasn't in the way that she wanted, Lou made sure that everyone she loved was alive and away from Noah Bennett, that was her end result.
But to do it without him?
Without Spencer?
To risk her life in that way…
It was an anger he had never felt.
He looked down at her hands, holding them between his own.
"You're angry."
He looked up again to see his Ellie stare at him with only kind eyes.
Even throughout all the anger, he was still grateful he got to stare at her face again.
"You can be angry, Spencer." She nodded, agreeing with her own words. "I know you are."
"I care about you," he said, prepositioning all the feelings he had towards her. "I want you to be safe, and happy, and I just… want to protect you, as much as you insist that you can protect yourself, and I know you can, Elena, I truly and honestly now fully understand how much you can protect yourself, so much so that it scares me to see how good you are at using weapons and hand-to-hand combat."
"I know," she agreed softly.
"This doesn't change the fact that I am furious with you, Elena."
"I know," she pleaded again.
"And it's going to come out—"
"And that's okay—"
"But you can't do that! You can't just… up and leave! You and I, we're… partners. We have one another to rely on. I need to know that you won't just vanish!"
"I know that's a trust I will have to earn again," Lou said, terrified. "It's something I want to earn."
"Promise me that you won't leave."
"No."
It hurt Spencer to hear her reject his idea.
Especially considering how much she valued promises.
"No," she repeated herself before clarifying. "Because I already broke that promise… and… it's not something that I want to have to promise again. I can't just make that something where leaving is a likelihood. Being with you and staying with you is something that just is and just should be. It shouldn't need a promise. I don't have to promise you that I won't leave you because I don't intend to. I've felt what it was like to be gone without you for weeks at a time. But leaving you… like this…"
Spencer easily saw the pain flutter over her face.
"I don't think I could live with myself if I ever did that to you again. I don't even know how I'm going to live with myself now, knowing what I put you through…"
She shook her head.
"I don't deserve to make that promise again."
It made Spencer's heart hurt, to know that she viewed herself in that way.
Without any words, as words weren't usually needed with these types of promises, he held up his littlest finger to his Elena, knowing exactly what she would do. Her eyes shone with the brightest glow, knowing that her beloved Tinman had been asking her to make a promise, one that she had already broken, but he intended to make again. He wanted to show her that although her actions weren't condoned, he wanted to make sure that she felt like she deserved to share pinky promises with her partner, to remind her of the Elena that she was, and still would be. He wanted to make sure that she felt like she belonged beside him, that she was supposed to be cared for and adored by him.
He wanted to show her that she was loved.
It was slow, but he felt her small pinky wrap around his, locking them both into place.
"Yes, you do, Elena. You deserve it."
She smiled, allowing a small sigh of relief.
"You're right," he could see his Ellie slowly coming back to him, "You're absolutely right. Who am I to think I don't deserve pinky promises? Everyone does. But… you have every right to be angry, too. And I don't want you to sugar coat anything. If you're going to be angry, you should allow yourself to be angry. It's warranted."
It was then she saw his face fully. The lights in the manor had finally come back, the electricity illuminating the room to where she could fully see her Doctor. He was dishevelled, something Lou could only deduce she had put him through hell. She technically put both of them through the ringer, but to know that she was the cause of it made her want to rectify the situation.
"I don't want to be," he whispered, kissing her forehead.
"Again, it's more than understandable."
"If it was reversed," Spencer mumbled against her skin. "If I had to do anything to protect you, I would also understand. Just because my anger is understandable doesn't mean your actions don't have merit to them."
She laughed without humour. "Spencer Reid, don't invalidate your emotions. Be mad at me for once, will you?"
He smiled, kissing her forehead once more.
"Yes, sweetheart. For you, anything."
It couldn't have been done in one day, but she wanted to work for Spencer's forgiveness, to not have him give it up so easily. She felt as if she might have broken the trust between them, but even with leaving Spencer in the dark, and with him the way he was feeling, she could still feel the deep connection with him. He still trusted her, that was something that was evident. She didn't know if she deserved that trust, but she knew that she wasn't going to do anything else that would cause any harder between her and Spencer, and the relationship they shared.
Lou gasped, realizing that his comm had been quiet.
"Did you turn off your comms?"
Spencer's eyes widened, to which Lou shook her head.
"Why did you—"
"The team was shouting in my ear. I needed all my focus on you."
Lou nodded at his logic.
"Did you want to turn it on? I want to let everyone know I'm okay."
Lou was feeling the guilt of everyone in pain.
She may have been okay, but there were other people on the team that weren't okay.
It was due to her actions.
Spencer picked up on this easily.
"Elena, they're going to be okay."
She nodded, not believing him.
He tucked a hair behind her ear.
"If I'm allowed to be angry, you're allowed to not feel as guilty as you do."
"I still feel guilty," she mumbled before pulling herself closer to Spencer, taking another hug from him.
He cherished the moment he felt Elena on his skin again.
Putting his finger on the comm in his ear, Lou could hear the voice of Penelope Garcia chattering. She also heard Spencer's last name and her first name multiple times with a scolding tone. Lou could also make out JJ in between. The smile on Spencer's face not only melted Lou's heart, but indicated to her exactly what was going on the other line. The team was worried about her, most likely due to Spencer not updating the team. He took out the earpiece, offering it to Lou.
Putting the small speaker to her ear, she was hit with multiple voices.
"Reid," it was Rossi's voice, "you bring Lou outside this instant."
"Agreed!" Penelope shouted, evidently on her own comm. "Stop ignoring us. The agents are bringing Bennett into custody and they said you have eyes on Lou! They said you're with her! What happened? Did you stop Bennett? Why is he unconscious? Where is she? Where are you? What do you want us to do?"
"Ask one question at a time," Lou said softly.
"Lucy Lou!" Penelope
"Lou!" JJ.
"Welcome back." Hotch.
"Damn good to hear you again, kiddo." Rossi.
"Rocky, is that you?"
The gasp that had come from Lou was startling.
"…Linnie? Caroline? You're here?"
"Of course I'm here, you idiot! You go and poof out of no where and you expect these agents to find you? Without my nosy ass getting in everyone's business?" Lou was ready for a Caroline tangent, but she never felt so grateful for one than she did in that moment. "No Ma'am! You know I'm not gonna sit around when you're in danger! Now I can see why you feel so safe with these agents, these people are scarily accurate with their shit, mate."
"Dexter's here too," Spencer said softly.
She smiled, more tears appearing on her face.
Everyone I love is here.
But everyone I love is safe.
That's all I could ask for.
"I'll be outside soon, everyone. I swear."
"You better," JJ said. "We missed you."
"I missed you all so much. I'm coming."
She gave the comm back to Spencer, looking intently to the device, not noticing Spencer's eyes following hers.
He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear again, and Lou teared up in that moment.
"What is it?" Spencer asked.
Lou took a stuttered breath in.
"I was uncertain if I was going to see you again."
The look on his face could tell Lou that Spencer had felt the same way. The sheer horror had flashed over his eyes, most likely remembering the days he didn't know where his Elena was. The tears began to pool, and Spencer didn't stop himself from pulling his Professor closer to his chest. The relief that she felt when she placed her head over his heart was evident, as she could hear his heartbeat slow down. He squeezed her tighter, almost as if reassuring himself that she was real, and she was indeed in his arms.
"Ellie."
Hearing her favourite nickname brought forth a smile on her.
"Yes, Spencer?"
"Don't ever do that to me again," he pleaded.
Lou's mouth had been open wide, speechless.
"Please," he begged, wrapping his arms around her waist. She leaned back to look into his eyes, her hand finding its protective spot over his chest.
"I don't—"
He took another breath, steadying himself.
"I didn't know if I was going to see you again, either. But… I know that feeling… of not seeing your loved one's face ever again… and I…"
He stuttered when he spoke, but he continued on.
"I know, for certain, I can't cope with never seeing you again."
He was talking about his deceased girlfriend. It hit Lou light a freight train, realizing that his previous girlfriend had died at the hands of a malicious individual. Although she didn't know the details, she knew Spencer enough to know that her death had damaged him thoroughly.
Lou, you're an idiot, she thought to herself.
Lou had been desperate to find the right words. She was always good at finding the perfect word for any situation, but in that moment, the fear of not being able to reassure Spencer killed her. She had created an insecurity within him, that there was the potential to up and leave him without a notice. While that would have been Lou's previous method of operation had it been ten years prior, she learned that she needed to give him that reassurance. To let him know that whatever she had planned, it was done, and she had no intention of proceeding with any further dangerous behaviour.
"Spencer, you asked me to promise this to you just moments ago."
"I know, but I—"
He was at a loss for words, Spencer bowing his head to let his scared feelings run free.
Lou placed both hands on his face, lifting his head up.
You need to reassure him Lou.
You made this mess.
You fix it.
"The only reason why I left was to create distance between him and you. Now… now that the law and practically MI6 is watching Noah, there's enough distance between him and I. There isn't anything causing me to run away, or to hide. Not now. I… hated every second I had to leave you, hated every moment I even had to think about it, but I didn't have enough time. Not with my mom's life at risk. I had to do what I had to, and I wouldn't change it… But I regret the way that I did it."
She took a long breath. "I should have included you. I include you in every aspect of my life. I didn't because I was scared, of losing you, but more importantly… even if everything had settled, and we ended up stopping Noah still, I was in fear that you would never forgive me."
The tears pooled in her eyes. "And even with your anger, I know that you do forgive me, even though I don't feel like I deserve it. Not right now, at least."
"Ellie." He wiped her tears, before softly kissing her cheek.
"And I… I want to work on deserving it. I want to make up for what I've done."
She brushed Spencer's hair off of his sweaty forehead, trying to settle his unruly hair that she so loved.
"There's nothing stopping me from standing by your side for the rest of my life, hoping that I get the chance to always make it up to you."
Leaning up to kiss his nose, she sighed, staring deep into his eyes.
"Only if you'll have me. That's a promise I will make again and again if you want me to."
He gave her that look again, the one that made her melt every time he stared at her. That made her think if he truly was looking at her with all that adoration, or how he was even capable of having such a desire to enjoy her company, to be with her. She knew she was special, but to have someone appreciate that specialness made Lou truly feel blessed. She should know better; she should see the blessings in front of her. There had been so many to count, but she had been too ignorant to deeply appreciate all of them. That was something she wanted to never do again. She made another promise to herself in that moment, to be consciously aware every blessing that came her way and to cherish it as best as she could.
His eyes still carried that beautiful feeling she now noticed.
But if she didn't remember to be fully aware of her surroundings, she would have missed what Spencer said to her.
Because what he said to her was important.
"I love you," Spencer whispered to her.
Happy Dance Time!
xoxo N
Next Time: "I don't want you near him."
