Notes: This work contains spoilers for the last chapter of the manga. Proceed at your own risk.


Ceremonials

FRIDAY


The frame displaying the words Sugar Content rested above Shinpachi's head as he pored over a letter from a client. A few steps away from him, lying helplessly on the couch with limbs sprawled in ways that would have him moaning and complaining when he woke up, was the Former President of Earth's Yorozuya, Sakata Gintoki. A string of drool stretched from the corner of his mouth as he woke, he wiped it with his hand and yawned aloud, a heavy grunt that broke Shinpachi's concentration and had him crushing the tip of his pencil over the page where he had been scribbling down notes regarding his client's plea.

"Good morning, Gin-san. Or should I say, good-afternoon? It's half past one, why don't you go make us both lunch?"

Gintoki's eyes were half shut while he processed the light streaming in from the window and the venom in Shinpachi's voice, though the venom wasn't deadly and he kind of reveled in it since it drew a stark contrast to the tingling sensation that suddenly spread over his arms and legs and turned into agonizing pain once he tried to move. He bawled dramatically and fell back on the couch defeated.

Shinpachi exhaled, his glasses fogged up. This was his life now. Managing the Yorozuya all by himself while Kagura was off Yorozuying' among the stars, leaving him to deal with their former President on his own, Edo's hero, their own personal silver-haired idiot who insisted on walking through life by nobody's rules but his own, who insisted on going out to drink until early in the morning, who spent every penny that came his way without a smidge of care and who refused to attend a ceremony that would celebrate him and honor the sacrifices they all made ten years ago. Who knew? Sakata Gintoki was still a tiresome, stubborn fool. His hair was as curly as it ever was, with the few whites that troubled him lost amid the silver tangle. The bulkiness of his frame, the taut muscles always ready for a fight were still there, folded in the contours of his yukata, yet he rarely wore it with a sleeve down as he used to. Peace had mellowed his figure, but not his dirty mouth. His eyes were expressionless unless he willed them otherwise, and the soft wrinkles around his eyes and dancing at the corners of his mouth showed an unutterable sadness, a feeling which he left perpetually unattended and tried very hard every day to transform into kindness. Maybe that was why the people who loved him couldn't leave him alone. Because that was all they saw when they looked at him. That desperate attempt to be kind.

Shinpachi wished he could see that kindness now instead of Gintoki's regular, unfiltered stupidity. He knew what Gintoki was going to say before he opened his mouth. He had been nagging Shinpachi about it for a whole week. Moreover, Gintoki wouldn't be Gintoki if he didn't take advantage of every dumb argument to postpone a chore, which in this case, was making lunch.

"Isn't it about time you found a girlfriend or something, Shinpachi?," Gintoki drawled, "'Go make lunch, Gin-san', 'Wash the dishes, Gin-san', 'Take out the trash', 'Vacuum the house while I'm out', 'Clear out the bedroom', 'Open the windows to let fresh air in', 'Clean your vomit', 'Wash the toilet', 'Scrub the tub', 'Hang out the laundry', who do you think I am? A dutiful housewife?!" he cried outraged, "I mean, it's too much. Do you pride yourself on being a virgin or what? You know, it would be nothing to be ashamed of if you didn't waste all your money on that idol crap. How many times a week do you change sheets, Shinpachi-kun? Isn't your sister worried about you?"

The pencil in Shinpachi's hands snapped in half.

"Do you think I don't know what you're trying to do? You're lucky Hijikata-san puts up with you, because I actually pity him! I know you forgot his birthday this year and tried to get back into his good graces with cigarettes and mayo. That job we did for Gengai? You spent your entire pay on love hotels and booze. I'm the one who keeps the books here, remember? You're becoming a senile old man if you think I don't know what you do behind my back!"

"Well, Shinpachi-kun, if I needed your permission to spend my money on condoms or sex toys or however I see fit I wouldn't be the leader here, would I?" Gintoki pointed a foot towards the front door, alluding to the sign that hung outside above Otose's Snack Bar, "I'm still Yorozuya's Gin-chan, aren't I?"

Shinpachi sneered, brushing aside their age-old argument of Chairman versus CEO.

"I'm only asking you to act responsibly. Hijikata-san would agree with me! And Kagura-"

"She ain't here, is she? So it's your word against mine."

"You always get sulky when we talk about her."

"I think resentful is the better word."

"Or stupid." Shinpachi muttered. "I'll try to talk with Pirako-chan. I'm not sure she will take the request from me. It would be much better if it were you asking her, Gin-san."

"Oh, you really think so?"

"She always had a crush on you."

"That's 'cause the old man didn't straighten out her daddy issues. How is it my fault?"

"You don't need to say it like that."

"What? You think she is just gonna say yes if I ask her to lend me her father's country house for a weekend getaway with my- my- my-"

"WHY ARE YOU BLUSHING?!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE BLUSHING!"

"YOU'RE LIKE FORTY, STOP EMBARRASSING ME!"

"YOU'RE ALMOST THIRTY! SHUT UP!"


"Hijikata-san, do you need help with the bags? The car will be here in twenty minutes." Yamazaki said, staring at Hijikata's back.

The late afternoon sun hit the sliding doors of Hijikata's room mercilessly.

"No, I haven't packed yet," Hijikata said, cigarette crunched between his teeth, "Just two more minutes and I'll put a change of clothes in a bag, it won't take me long." he said, scribbling down another signature.

"B-but, Hijikata-san, wasn't this supposed to be a special weekend?" Yamazaki said, voice all sweet and soft but with the twinge of envy all self-proclaimed believers in true-love possess and can't get rid of, "You can't just throw the first robe you see into a bag. First you have to choose the perfect bag, not the best bag, pardon me, just a good enough bag that will show your appreciation but not any hint of desperation. Then you have to pick a good suit in case there's a formal event you have to attend, but not your best suit, you don't want to look like you were expecting it, I mean, it's Boss we're talking about, you shouldn't expect much to start with, so I suggest you take your summer travelling bag and the dark blue yukata for a day stroll, then another-"

Hijikata's pen stopped above the page. The room was silent. Yamazaki bit his lower lip. He had gone too far.

"Yamazaki, go disembowel yourself in the yard." Hijikata said cooly.

Yamazaki was frozen in his spot, he couldn't move. He didn't want to die but he also could not go on living knowing he hadn't done the utmost to help his Vice-Commander prepare for his weekend getaway. He didn't know exactly what the occasion entailed but he knew Hijikata deemed it important. Yamazaki had noticed the subtle change in his mood and features, imperceptible to almost every other officer except himself and Captain Okita. Okita had been the one to tease Hijikata first, the one to glimpse the hint of a smile on his face and the light in his step before anyone else.

"Three days-off, Hijikata-san? Did Boss rob a bank or what? Doesn't he know you hate being spoiled?"

Hijikata had replied with a glare and a pair of crinkled brows.

"Is he finally going to take you away from your beloved Shinsengumi? He wouldn't dare."

Okita's jabs hadn't gone further than that and Hijikata had not been forthcoming with more information despite all the efforts of the sadistic Captain. However, Yamazaki had an inkling Okita knew, and he had an inkling too that for all the grief Okita put Hijikata through he was sincerely happy for him, no matter how much he hated himself for it. A complicated relationship, Yamazaki thought.

"If it wasn't for this damned Ten Year Celebration I would be long gone by now," Hijikata mumbled, pulling out another form from a pile on his left, "How many clearances do these event organizers need, any way? Yamazaki, you better bring your ghost back from the grave to make sure they have the security permits on display the day of the event or I will disembowel you again myself."

"Yes, sir, of course, sir."

"These fucking nitpickers, do they think they are better prepared than the Shinsengumi for an event of this magnitude? I will have no private security on our turf, this is going to be our job and our job alone. Here, take this," Hijikata penned a short letter, three or four lines of short quick strokes, and handed it over to Yamazaki, "Make sure the Director gets this. Send her a box of donuts with it. Sweeten her up. I won't have this celebration ruined."

"B-but, sir. The car-"

"I know, now scram!"

Yamazaki left the room, much against his will. He trudged his way to the first available patrol car he found, shoulders hunched and spirits low. A fellow officer saw his grim face and offered to drive him to his destination out of pity.

"Hijikata-san has left you a ton of paperwork to do too, uh? It's times like this when he goes away and we have to take over his workload that I really appreciate his dedication," the fellow officer said, sitting behind the steering wheel, "He is demanding and vicious, he punishes us beyond what's morally acceptable and most of the times he is simply a Devil, but that's how passionate he is about our Shinsengumi. He lives and breathes the woes of this place, I'm glad he is going away for a few days. He deserves a rest too."

Yamazaki's face shifted into a frown. He spoke in a deadpan voice.

"Kondo-san, you're going to be really lonely this weekend, uh?"

Kondo whimpered.

"There's tears in your eyes and snot dripping down your nose. Here, clean yourself up."

Yamazaki gave Kondo Hijikata's note and Kondo blew his nose into the flimsy paper.


The roar of the pachinko machines drowned out the thoughts encroaching Gintoki's brain. He was busy pulling levers, hoping for the one that would finally make him forget his row with Shinpachi and clear his conscience. He expected another four or five turns might do the trick. Truth be told, he didn't understand what there was for Shinpachi to fuss about. He only needed to pick up the phone, call Pirako, tell him he was sweet on her or something and then put in a favor for him. She and the old man probably didn't live at the country place anymore anyway. Sure, it was dirty work circumventing the truth just because Gintoki wanted a free rental, but he needed it desperately. He had a promise and a forgotten-birthday to make up for, only he wasn't one to beg, Shinpachi was, and Shinpachi had always done it so much better than him. Pirako would probably feel flattered by Shinpachi's call, Gintoki could see the whole thing already. Shinpachi would ask her to come over, they would end up doing a job together, she would finally do Shinpachi (somebody had to by now) and everyone would have a good time. Simple.

The other worries, the ones Gintoki could do little about, those he could deal with later, when he was alone in the mountains with Hijikata and Edo was miles away from them. Gintoki had realized, for a long time now, that while he remained in Edo he would be at the mercy of his fears and remain a victim of his own making. Wasn't that why he was here? Why he had chosen this particular pachinko parlor, busy and bright and not cheap at all, with a view to the street outside where a little kid was rocking back and forth on his feet while he waited for his guardian to pay for the toys he had pointed at the store's window.

A kid about eight years old. An image of the past.

Someone sat beside Gintoki and pulled the lever of the machine next to his.

"You think you're very subtle, don't you?"

Gintoki shrugged. Matako scoffed. Her expression hardened. Gintoki felt something hard poke him below the ribs.

"Still packing one of those?" He wondered.

Matako thrusted the gun deeper, its muzzle disappearing into the folds of Gintoki's yukata.

"I have enough trouble already with the other idiot following my every step, I don't need another ex-Joui Patriot on my ass."

"But we old terrorists were pardoned."

"Yeah, you and the police are real chums now," Matako said between gritted teeth, "That's exactly why I don't want you around. I have a business to run. If you wanna see him you can do the same as the rest." she said standing up.

"What? Subscribe to the Rebirth-for-Assholes newsletter?"

"Your sense of humor disgusts me."

"It's getting pretty dry, I admit. Must be old age."

"Don't come around again." Matako said.

"You could at least tell me how he is since you won't let me see him."

"You're about ten years too late for that."

"So you keep saying."

Matako gasped, biting back a choked sob.

"You could learn something from your stalker friend! He never stopped looking after him. But you…" she took a moment to breathe, chest rising and falling as she exhaled, "Why now? What changed? Are you so bored with your life you remembered he exists? I don't let him go anywhere without supervision, without the slimmest tail, I die inside every moment he is away from my sight. He is more to me than a son, if anything ever happened to him I would burn this world and then the next. Now tell me, why are you here and what do you want? What changed?"

"I did."

"Is that it?"

"Yeah," Gintoki nodded, "I guess it has started to dawn on me I may really only meet him again in hell," he chuckled, "I didn't mean it to be a promise."

Matako was silent. A tear rolled down her cheek but she wiped it away quickly, ashamed that Gintoki might see it.

"I'll consider it."

She left and Gintoki pulled another lever. The little metal ball fell down and hit the perfect combo of traps, levers and pins. The machine roared with a jackpot and a stream of pachinko balls filled the tray by Gintoki's knees. He was too stunned to react. The silver balls spilled over the rim and scattered on the floor like shards of glass. A fellow player and one of the parlor's employees came running with empty trays to help Gintoki collect his prize. He offered each a bottle of Calpis by way of thanks and returned home with a fatter wallet and no change to his guilty conscience. Shinpachi's note, which Gintoki found on top of his desk, did little to lighten the feeling.

Pirako-chan accepted my request in exchange for a favor she will be at liberty to call in whenever and wherever she asks for it. We are at her mercy now. I hope you're happy, Gin-san. P.S.: The house keys are in the mailbox.

The guise of a smile formed on Gintoki's face. At least he had something to look forward to.


The sun had set and warm orange hues broke through the sky above Gintoki's head when he went to answer the door. His heart jittered at the prospect of seeing the face behind the door, more so at such an early hour. He had expected Hijikata to be held up at the barracks as usual, showing up late with pretexts and explanations which would be delivered long or short depending on Gintoki's coaxing mood; sometimes Hijikata elaborated about an unexpected meeting with the Director or the retired-but-never-absent Senior Counsellor Matsudaira, other times he withdrew to his old mute self, barking a short-tempered, one-word answer that disregarded Gintoki's grievances. Gintoki had learned to cope with the situation as best he could, toeing the line recklessly to keep Hijikata engaged but not so mad he would stop reciprocating.

What met Gintoki on the other side of his door, however, was far from the six feet tall figure he had expected. The visitor in question was at least half Hijikata's size, with round cheeks and a frown that, for what it was worth, was a pretty good substitute for the frown of the Shinsengumi's Vice-Commander.

A plaque dangled from the boy's neck. In elaborate handwriting, much too fluid to be ascribed to a child, it read:

'Please take care of me. If you don't, I will bust your nuts and then feed them to you through a tube. It's gonna be meatball spaghetti for you for a long time!'

"How many balls does she think I have?" Gintoki uttered under his breath, dismissing Matako's threat. He looked at Takasugi's face and stared hard at him for a minute. The kid shifted his feet uncomfortably.

"Do you know who I am?" Gintoki asked him.

"My destitute uncle."

"Wow, is that what your mom told you?"

"She said you were penniless," Takasugi replied looking away, embarrassed to even set eyes on Gintoki, "And she is not my real mom."

"Ain't you a clever little boy. What are you doing here, uh? Your not-mom has terrible handwriting, I can't read that."

"She had to go off-planet and couldn't take me. Said I was going to stay with you for the weekend."

Gintoki's slack expression froze as his brain caught up with the information and proceeded to do the math.

"Oh no, no, no. Nonononono! Not this weekend! This weekend Gin-san has a very important engagement. No can do. It's great to see you Shinsuke-kun, but I can't have your clueless-yakult-drinking ass after me twenty four hours a day. I'm gonna be very busy!"

"Who is going to shadow you twenty-four hours a day!? You're disgusting! I want to go home!"

"All kids love Gin-san and want to emulate him. It's my special power, I can't do anything about it."

"Ugh!" Takasugi turned aside to stop himself from barfing.

"If you're feeling sick you should go downstairs to the old lady's bar and ask her for an aspirin."

Takasugi sped off to the stairs but before Gintoki could turn his back and close the front door he heard the kid bump into Shinpachi on his way up. After a fluster of apologies Shinpachi came into view and Gintoki noticed the widened eyes behind his glasses.

"Oi, was that-?"

"Yes. You're exactly right, Shinpachi-kun. That was the Child Who Must Not Be Named."

"Matako-san let you see him?"

Gintoki puffed up his chest and leaned an arm against the doorframe.

"Not only has she let me see him, she has left him here for the weekend." he bragged, turning his gaze pleadingly towards Shinpachi.

"That's great news, Gin-san! You finally…" the light went out of Shinpachi's eyes and his grin disappeared as soon as he registered Gintoki's intentions, "Oh no, you- don't even think-!"

"Thank you, Shinpachi-kun. I knew I could count on you." Gintoki said, shaking Shinpachi's unwilling hand.

"No way! No way in hell, Gin-san!" Shinpachi pulled back his hand from Gintoki's desperate grip and threw a finger in front of his face, "I am not babysitting him! I can't! In fact that is why I was coming to see you. Takachin has called an urgent meeting of Otsuu-chan's Imperial Guards because of her sudden announcement of an overseas tour. It's terrible Gin-san, I'm sorry but I can't stay. You have to take him with you."

"Oi, oi, oi. Shinpachi, listen to yourself," Gintoki ran a hand through his disheveled curls dramatically, "You're telling me to take Takasugi 2.0 with me on my weekend away with Hijikata because you have to ditch me for your stupid idol fanclub? Is that what you're saying?! IS IT!?" Gintoki's voice broke into a high pitched tone Shinpachi hadn't heard in years.

"Yes, Gin-san. That's exactly it. I'm ditching you for my stupid idol fanclub." Shinpachi said between gritted teeth.

"This is why Kagura was always my favorite child!"

"She is not your child and neither am I!" Shinpachi shouted back.

"Now you're leaving home?! You think you can treat your parent like this?!"

"Grow up, Gin-san! I'll see you next week!"