PART 1

"For now it's better if you leave," I wonder how fast my heart is racing. 170… 180 beats a minute? If he stays in front of me, if he doesn't leave now, I will throw myself at him.

I want to. I want him so bad.

How easy would it be to fall into his arms right now? To rest my lips on his neck. To smell his essence, to dance around the dry scent of the earth. It would be so easy.

He lifts his head up, he is flushed. He looks so beautiful, so full of life. A Demon King at my feet, the man that completely broke me. How can he look so different from before? So vulnerable, so warm, so inviting.

I am dizzy, I need him gone.

"Yes," he replies. Slowly raising to his feet. His entire body must be magic. How can one vessel hold so many stories? So much power? "As you wish, my love."

I look away. I can't hear this, but he continues. "Enchantment of my sight, light of my life. Moon of my night, stars of my sky."

"Yomi-"

"You are so beautiful, my dearest. I vow my life to you, from now until my least breath, I belong to you, Suichi. You are my life now."

He walks to the door. I am left trembling, shaking, my eyes fill with tears, and as soon as the door shuts behind him I let them all out.

I know he can hear me. I know, he knows, the wreck I have become because of him. He can feel me, he knows exactly how much I wish with all of my might for every single one of his words to be true. But I won't let him see me like this. He doesn't get to have me yet.

"LEAVE!" I yell as loud as I can, I want him gone! "GET OUT!"

I am holding it in, the desire, the fire, the passion, the pain and the sorrow. I am holding it all in and I need him GONE!

As soon as he leaves I fall to the floor. My head hurts, my chest hurts, my heart is going to explode! "Yomi..." I call his name, and then shout it at the top of my lungs. "YOMI!"

Reality is breaking right in front of my eyes.

All he ever did was hurt me.

I want him here. I want to kiss him. I want my arms around his neck and his hands splitting me open. I want him deep inside of me. I want him to fuck me, to make my insides his home. I want to wake up with him every morning. I want to be able to hold him whenever I want. I want to own all of his time. I want to discuss the most interesting topics with him. So why?... WHY?

Why can't we be happy? Why does it hurt so much to love you? Why am
I being punished like this?

PART 2

Early next morning I get a package from Demon World. I open the box to find a small crystal ball, which I throw across the living room, smashing it into the wall. As soon as it breaks, it's shadow forms Yomi's Silhouette.

"Good morning my darling," the silhouette speaks. "I hope this day has found you in the best of heath and good spirits. I have not slept at all to be honest and haven't stopped thinking about you for a single second. I would love to see you soon. I know it is in short notice, but would tonight around seven in the evening be all right with you? I'll be waiting for your phone call. Have a great day."

And it disappears.

I make breakfast and drink coffee instead of tea. I look up information on investments, I need to put the money Karasu left behind to good use, otherwise it will be gone soon. Basically, I am killing time trying to figure out why he is so at ease with all of this? We barely decided to give this a chance yesterday, shouldn't he be nervous? Am I just projecting my own insecurities?

How do people act when they start dating? What am I supposed to do when I'm in front of him?

I pick up the phone and dial long distance. Very long distance actually, to another world completely.

The phone rings twice before he picks it up himself.

"Hello?"

"Hey, this is Suichi. How are you?"

I can hear his smile, "At this very moment, the happiest man alive."

I want to believe you.

"About tonight…"

"Yes?"

"I'll be ready at seven."

Silence, and then a victorious cheer, "Thank you, thank you so much."

"I'll see you soon."

"I love you so much, Suichi. Can't wait to see you."

Part 3

At six fifty in the afternoon I am ready, sitting on the couch waiting for him. I put on blue jeans and a white shirt with a light brown jacket over it. My hair is up in a ponytail tied around with a rose stem covered in thorns. A hint at a personal style.

I am going to feel very stupid of he is dressed up for this.

At exactly seven o'clock he knocks on the door.

I stand up and look at myself one last time in the mirror, fix my bangs and go to open up.

He looks so normal standing there, wearing grey and pink long-sleeved robes and grey pants. His hair brushed out, long and dark. The antenna that helps him see tugged behind his right ears.

"Hi," This is so bizarre. The anxiety has never gone away.

"Good evening, thank you for deciding to join me," he replies. "You look amazing."

I laugh, "Yomi…"

"Yes?"

If I tell him something thoughtless like, 'don't say things like that' or 'yeah, right' that would totally invalidate what he is saying, so I decide to thank him instead. I need to be careful with his heart, just as I desperately need him to be careful with mine. We are dating after all.

His face relaxes, he lets out a soft sigh. He looks at me with so much affection, with such a soft face, and this is real. What we feel for each other, its real. It has to be. What would be the point of him making all of this up? A lie that would last more than three hundred years. That doesn't make sense.

"Are you ready?" He asks.

"Yes, let's go."

I follow him and gasp when I see the limousine, "Really?" My voice in shock, "Just where are we going?"

"A nice place to talk, I just… I don't…" He stops. He is thinking. No, he is having trouble thinking. Could it be? Is that… anxiety too? Is he anxious too? "I heard-"

"I've never had a personal ride on a limousine. It is very nice, and I really appreciate you doing this for me." Validation. "Let's get going."

I walk in front of him, but something tells me to turn back, and I see him bring both of his hands to his face. His throat releases a torturous growl.

"Yomi?" I ask, but I can feel it.

His pain.

He takes a deep breath to recover, "I am sorry. This is not the side of me that I want you to see."

"What is making you so anxious? I am here with you, am I not?"

The wind makes my skin shiver. I walk to him.

"The uncertainty."

"Do you think I don't feel the same way? We are both old enough to know, this won't kill us. If it doesn't work, we just have to move on."

"Age doesn't make it less painful, just easier to understand. And I want this to work with all of my heart, Suichi. I can survive it, you are right. I won't die. But I won't live either. Not without you."

"Yomi," he looks up. "Let's go on our outing. I am excited to see what you have planned for us. Just a heads up, I haven't had dinner."

He chuckles, and that's exactly what I wanted, to break him out of his panic. "Well, no pressure then, right?" He asks.

The chauffeur opens the door and we both enter the limousine. I go first and sit to the very back next to the window. There's a bucket with ice and a bottle of wine. Expensive, but also, not his style at all. He drinks hard liquor, this isn't him.

"Would you like a drink?" He asks as soon as he takes a seat.

"That thing right there?" I ask nodding at the wine bottle.

"I hope you like it."

"Where is your secret stash?" I tease. I know he has to have something somewhere.

He laughs and his heart relaxes a little as well. "I have a bottle of whiskey under my seat."

I laugh out loud, bringing my hand to my mouth to cover my teeth "I knew it!"

I feel his heart sinks to the floor. His face so focused on me, my skin starts burning.

It gets very quiet. The chauffeur is playing the radio very softly, I hadn't noticed it until now.

"Yomi, the rule I gave you yesterday," It's so early for me to lift it- I am losing so much power by doing this- but I want him. "you may touch me as you see fit. I will trust your judgement."

Hi heart is racing. It's going up, up, up.

His face gets soft and light pink, his lips shiver. I don't know if I made the right choice but seeing his reaction as he sits across from me makes me regret absolutely nothing.

He floats across the space to sit next to me, so close I have to look up at him.

He reaches for my fingers with his hand.

He twirls them around his own.

He entangles them with each other.

"Is this okay with you?" He asks.

"I haven't hit you yet, have I?"

He lifts my hand up. His very soft, round, lips touch the top of my hand. Smooth. So smooth. My heart Is melting.

"And what about this?" He asks.

I think I have a mini-heart attack.

And then another reaction.

My jeans get tighter and tighter and there isn't a single thing I can do to stop it.

And right after, as a reaction, his jeans get tighter and tighter, and this is ridiculous. We are not teenagers.

I laugh out loud.

"Well at least we know there won't be any issues there if we ever decide to bed," I tell him.

He takes a very deep breath and lets it out slowly, "I am going to need that whiskey."

"Me too."

He reaches for it under the seat and tries to look for a cup, but I grab it out if his hands and take a long swing.

It burns my throat and make me cough.

He takes it from me and takes two long swings.

"It's five o'clock somewhere," he says.

"Silly, that's only if it isn't five o'clock yet."

"Oh…" He looks confused, he obviously doesn't get it. I doubt he's had much to do with humanity in all these years.

"Don't worry, I will teach you all the human lingo you need to know."