Brittany headed down the street, AirPods in, happily minding her own business and listening to music as she made her way through the Soho streets to her favourite coffee shop, La Colombe. She was so inside her head, that she didn't notice the child running full pelt towards her, until she felt him smack into her.
She looked down startled, removing her AirPods to check the little boy was okay.
"Oh my God, I am so sorry! Buddy what have I told you about running off like that?"
Brittany froze as she took in the man standing in front of her, who was bending down to reprimand his son. As he stood up and turned to Brittany to apologise further, he froze also.
"…Brittany?"
Brittany swallowed and regained her composure.
"Denver, Hi…how are you?" she managed.
"I'm…I'm good. I'm great actually I…sorry you just caught me a little off guard. How are you doing? Are you living back here now?"
"I am" Brittany nodded "I moved back 2 years ago now."
"Well…you're looking really well." Denver offered.
Brittany shifted awkwardly, before turning her attention to the dark-haired little boy in front of her, who bared a striking resemblance to Denver, and looked to be around 6 years of age.
"Sorry, I haven't even introduced you. This is Jacob…my son" Denver smiled, on noticing Brittany looking at the little boy.
Brittany smiled knowingly, she thought it had to be Denver's son, the one who she learned about 6 years ago. The secret that ended their relationship.
"Hi Jacob, it's nice to meet you. I'm Brittany" she said sweetly, extending her arm to shake Jacob's hand, before looking back up at Denver with a smile and a glint in her eye as she silently communicated to him that she was happy he now had his son in his life.
Despite the hurt Denver had caused her, she never agreed with the fact he'd been cut out of his son's life. Had their own baby survived, Brittany wouldn't have dreamed of doing that to him, in the way Megan did. Now all of the hurt Denver had caused her was 6 years down the line, she felt even more removed from the situation, and at this point she genuinely wished him well and hoped life was treating him kindly.
"Well, we better get going bud. Your mom wants you back by noon" said Denver, before looking back to Brittany again "It was good to see you Brittany. Listen, it would be great to catch up one time. Here's my card if you ever want to" he said, reaching into his wallet for his business card.
Brittany took the card and placed it in her purse, unsure she would ever use it, but remained polite.
"Thanks Denver, it was good to see you too" she smiled "And Jacob it was great meeting you"
And with that they said their goodbyes and parted ways, leaving Brittany slightly dumbfounded as she stood in the busy street. Two exes in one day? Weird.
As she walked into La Colombe, she glanced around the busy coffee shop before spotting the familiar face in the corner.
"Wow, he really hasn't changed a bit" she thought, as she approached him.
"Sam, Hi! I'm so sorry I'm late, I ran into someone I haven't seen in years. How are you?"
"Hey!" said Sam, standing up to greet Brittany "Don't worry about it, I've only been here a few minutes myself. I got you a drink though. You still like Caramel Macchiato's I hope?"
"You know me too well" Brittany smiled, removing her coat and scarf and taking a seat at the table.
"All those dates in the Lima Bean, how could I forget" Sam laughed "So how have you been? Santana filled me in with what you've been up to over the years. Sounds like you've done some pretty great things huh?"
As Brittany began to talk about her future, she cast her mind back over the past few years.
The Aladdin World Tour was great for her. She got to see so many different places, she made some great new friends, she loved her job and she generally just had a fun time. The tour bubble was everything she thought it would be, from the belly laughs and inside jokes to the wild, spontaneous hook-ups. It was almost like being back in college again, just with more responsibility. But, despite all of that, she never forgot about Santana. It seemed like it was going to be impossible to get over her, because if she was ever going to be able to move on, it was going to be now. But seeing the world almost made Brittany sure more than ever, that she belonged with Santana. The Eiffel Tower, the Sydney Harbour Bridge, the rounds of applause night after night, the awards nominations and wins for her Choreography skills and the constant bouts of praise, the nights spent with her new friends where she would cry tears of laughter. All of that was great, but it didn't compare to the feeling she got being around Santana. How good she felt, like her body literally woke up whenever she was with her. It was a feeling that sent her into the dance studio one night and had her choreographing a whole routine, pouring every emotion in about how she felt being around Santana, sparks flying off her.
It was becoming too much, and she was beginning to think that after the tour was over, she was going to have to tell Santana. She'd always been reluctant, in fear that it would damage their one-of-a-kind friendship, and because she had no inclination that Santana would feel the same way, but it was starting to eat away at her. Considering Santana was single, it was the only time she felt she could without stepping on someone's toes. But then suddenly…Dani was back in the picture.
Santana had told Brittany that her and Dani weren't "an official thing" when she'd visited her in London, but Brittany could see where it was headed. They were taking things slow, but they weren't seeing other people, so surely it was inevitable they'd get back together again. She decided she'd just have to see how things turned out when she got back to Lima. She was excited to get back, because she missed her family and feeling aside, she missed being around Santana every day- Mila too. She felt a little lost when she returned, unsure what she was going to do. Dani and Santana still "weren't official" according to Santana, but anyone with eyes could see that they were. Brittany didn't really know how she could interfere with that, so she stood at the side lines once again, wondering if she should just tell Santana and expect the worst but hope for the best. Not for the purpose of getting Santana to break things off with Dani and run into her arms (although Brittany would have obviously loved that), but just to get rid of the burning ache she felt inside for keeping this secret so long.
There wasn't much time to ponder over it, because her return on the 20th December meant she was thrown straight into Christmas, and once that holiday was out of the way, Santana was thrown into something that made Brittany put her own needs aside, to be there for the most important person in her life. Her feelings didn't even come into consideration when she had to watch Santana fight for custody of her child, it was all about Santana now.
The 4-month battle was incredibly tough, and Brittany had many feelings about it all that she pushed down in order to provide strength to Santana. Seeing Santana break down in a way she'd never witnessed before was almost too much to bear. For the first time in their friendship, Brittany felt completely helpless, and it was a taste of what she knew Santana must have felt like during her own miscarriage. All she could do was support her, listen to her and soothe her the best she could, praying that the courts would realise this wasn't in Mila's best interest. Seeing the little girl that she loved so much struggling with the new routine forced up on her was a difficult pill to swallow as well. She just wanted to wrap Santana and Mila up in a little bubble and shield them from any pain. She wanted to do much less nicer things to Puck, but for the most part she kept her rage aside and channelled all her energy in being there for her girls.
On one occasion, she couldn't bite her tongue though. It was the morning after Santana's break down, where she had smashed up the kitchen. She had stayed over that night, and as she watched Santana sleep the next morning, she couldn't help but drop a light kiss on her forehead to ease her furrowed brow.
"It's going to be okay angel" she whispered, before creeping out of the bed quietly, so not to wake her. She figured Santana could really use her sleep after a tough night.
She quickly threw on some clothes and headed out, with the need to be back before Santana woke up. When she pulled up outside Mila's school, she saw Puck's car straight away, watching as he escorted his daughter inside. Her heart broke when she noticed how sad Mila looked as she dragged her heels behind her father, who was too busy on his phone to be paying proper attention to her. She was careful not to let Mila see her, knowing it would only upset her. Her intentions that day were simply to talk to Puck. With Mila safely inside, and Puck heading back towards his car, Brittany approached him with a steely determination which only came over her when it involved someone she loved.
"Why are you doing this Puckerman?" she demanded, catching the man off guard.
"Look Brittany, I've got things to do okay? Mila is fine. She was a little upset when she arrived but as soon as she got settled, she was okay. She always is"
"No. No, she is not fine!" Brittany started "Maybe she seems fine to you because you've only known her a few short months, but I know that little girl inside and out and I know that's she's so far from okay. You've turned her whole world upside down and took her away from the only parent she's ever known and expected her to start playing happy families with you, a man she barely even knows. Santana is distraught. She's barely eating, barely sleeping, barely keeping it together at all actually. And look, I know you have no loyalties to Santana, but what about your daughter? Surely you want to do what's best for her. What makes her happy?"
"She's a kid. Kid's are adaptable. Right now, she might need a little time adjusting but eventually she's going to be better off. I am her dad"
"Look you can't just come into her life and play dad like this. That's not how it works." Brittany warned, the resolve in her voice shocking her "When you made the decision not to be a part of the first 6 years of Mila's life like you did, you waived your rights to that title by default. You actually have to earn it now."
"Not in the eyes of the law I don't. I have rights" said Puck cockily, before changing his tone "Look Brittany, I like you and I like Santana. I don't want to fight with you, but I'm going to fight for what I believe in and that's me being an active part in Mila's life now. I know I fucked up, but I was basically just a kid back then. I was 18 years old and had no idea what to do"
"Well Santana was a kid too! She was 18 and she was alone and scared, but she more than stepped up. She's the best mom ever to that little girl, and now you want to take part of that away from her!?" Brittany said, her voice raised, face reddening. She decided to soften slightly, thinking this approach might work better. "I know you want to be in Mila's life now. I know you've changed, and I know you have rights. I get it, I understand. But all I'm asking you to do is step back a bit here and think of the little girl in the middle of all this. Mila has a lot of love to give, and I know she could love you and accept you as part of her life, but what you're doing right now is hurting her. The original agreement was working before so I'm asking you to please reconsider what you're doing here, if not for anything else, then for your daughters' sake"
Puck stood for a second, contemplating Brittany's words before letting out a sigh.
"Sorry but I want my time with her. Santana had her for 6 years and I was a jerk for not being there, I admit it. But the bottom line is that I'm here now and I want to make up for that. When this trial period is over, I'll be pursuing primary custody still. If I win, I won't keep Santana out of Mila's life, of course not- I'm not a monster. But I have to have a shot at raising her too"
As she watched Puck get in his car, Brittany felt the frustrated tears burn at her eyes. She needed to calm herself down before driving back to Santana's. She headed to the bakery down the street and picked up two coffee's, a Caramel Macchiato for herself and a Honeycomb Latte with extra sugar for Santana. She strayed away from Santana's usual order of a black Americano, because she wanted to get some sugar into her. She also picked up some deliciously sweet pastries for them to eat for breakfast.
By the time she had done the coffee run, she had regained her composure and was ready to drive back and be the positive and supportive friend that Santana needed her to be. The conversation that she'd had with Puck remaining a secret that Santana didn't need to know about. When she got in a little after 10am, she was relieved to find Santana still sleeping. She stirred slightly and began reaching around in the bed.
"Brit?" she said, her voice small and filled with panic, because she couldn't face waking up alone after the events of the night before.
"I'm right here honey" Brittany assured her quickly, edging towards the bed "I popped out to get us some breakfast, but I'm here now, and you know that I'll be here as long as you need"
It was a tough week, especially with Brittany in the knowledge that Puck had no intention of letting this go, but on Friday came the light at the end of the tunnel that they all so sorely needed. Mila was returning to Santana's sole care, for good.
On the night they got the call, whilst Santana tucked Mila up in bed, happy in the knowledge that things were going to go back to normal for her, Brittany sat downstairs in her thoughts, deciding to give them some time alone together. At the climax of an extremely difficult 4 months, Brittany finally felt the force of everything hitting her, as all the feelings she had surpressed in order to be there for Santana, raised up to the surface. She wandered over to the kitchen and searched through Santana's cupboards for the bottle of Tequila she knew she kept there for special occasions, pouring a small measure and gulping it down fast, the liquid burning at her throat. She went over to the table, taking the bottle with her.
"Brit?" Santana's voice came, as she emerged down the stairs.
"Over here San" Brittany called from the kitchen, which was around the corner and out of view from Santana's position at the foot of the stairs. Santana walked through the open plan room to find Brittany, eyeing up the Tequila bottle as she took a seat at the table.
"Mila okay?"
Santana nodded with a soft smile.
"Yeah she was out like a light. I think she'll sleep well tonight. Better than she has in ages. Me too for that matter".
Brittany nodded, before reaching for the Tequila again pouring another measure and slugging it down.
"Babe?" Santana frown, her face etched with concern.
"I just…I just need a minute. Then we'll talk, I promise"
Santana nodded her understanding and squeezed Brittany's hand tightly, offering her support. She watched as Brittany took one more shot, before she screwed the lid back on and drew out a long breath, signalling she was ready to talk.
"Just take your time babe" Santana encouraged, giving Brittany's hand another squeeze, before settling for stroking soothing patterns with her thumb.
"It's just…it's all just hit me tonight I suppose. I've been holding it in for so long trying to keep strong for you and Mila. Now that I know everything is going to be okay, I can finally let that out"
"I understand that." Santana said softly "It's exactly how I felt when you lost the baby. I was trying so hard to keep it together for you, but one day it all got on top of me and I broke down at my mom's house"
"I never knew that" said Brittany, squeezing Santana's hand to offer her own support, before reaching for the tequila bottle once more.
"Talk to me Brit. Tell me what's going on in there" Santana urged gently. It was clear that Brittany had a lot on her mind. Brittany sighed.
"I don't want to come across selfish" she said, her voice cracking with emotion and Santana immediately rushed out of her seat to envelope her in a tight hug.
"Brittany you could never be selfish. You've been my rock throughout all this, you don't even realise how much you being there has helped me. I couldn't have gotten through this time without you. Please just talk to me, you're worrying me now"
"It's about Little Poppy" Brittany sniffed "I guess…I guess seeing you so frightened about losing your baby like that, has brought up all those feelings of when I lost my baby. I'm sorry San, I sound so selfish right now making this about me"
"Hey what did I just say?" Santana cut in, placing a soft kiss on Brittany's tear-stained cheek "You could never be selfish. Never Brittany, not you, not ever. Your feelings are completely valid, and I don't want you to apologise for them. What you went through was horrendous, and I can only imagine how it must have felt. It's a grief that's never going to go away, and it's completely understandable that moments like this would bring it all back".
"It just creeps up sometimes you know?"
"I know. And that's okay. And I want you to know that I'll always be here for you in those moments. I never want you not to talk to me about it babe" said Santana, as she comforted Brittany by combing through her hair.
"I just wonder what they'd be like right now. You know how certain I am that it was a girl, and I'm so sorry sweet baby if I'm misgendering you, but I wonder about the little things too. What colour eyes would they have? Would they be tall like me? What kind of things would they love as much as Mila loves to paint and dance and sing along to Taylor Swift? Things like that that I'm never going to know the answer to"
"I wonder those things too Brit. All I know is that with a Mommy like you, they'd be the most beautiful person inside and out. So happy and so loved" said Santana, before her tone turned careful as she approached the burning question on her mind "Brit I…I hope being around Mila so much isn't too hard for you. Because I would hate for you to…"
"Santana no!" Brittany cut Santana off immediately "No, no, no I could never think that. I love Mila with everything and being around her and watching her grow and reach new milestones in a way I couldn't with my own baby, is just so special to me. It helps me more than you know. I know Mila isn't my daughter but, being such a big part in her life and knowing that a lot of the things I say or do influences her, almost feels like a second chance, if that even makes sense?"
"Of course it makes sense. And Mila loves you so much, you know that. It's almost like you're a second Mommy to her Brit" Santana laughed, and she meant it. "You're the only person apart from my mother that I 100 percent trust with her, because I know you love her as if she's your own. You've always been there for her more than her dad ever was. Come here…I want to show you something"
Santana led Brittany upstairs to retrieve the family portrait painting that Mila had done a few months back. Most of Mila's paintings were framed or hung up on the fridge for all to see, but this one Santana had kept hidden away in a box. It felt too special to be shown to everyone.
Brittany observed the painting, teary eyed.
"See this is how much Mila values you. She places you right here at the centre of her world" said Santana, gesturing to her own heart and placing Brittany's own hand over it. "We'll always be your family Brit"
It meant so much to Brittany to hear those words. She wished so much they could be a real family, that she could be a proper mom to Mila, and a doting girlfriend to Santana. It was something that almost seemed possible given how tight-knit they all were. Santana had made it clear Brittany had been her rock at this time, if only it wasn't for the Dani-shaped boulder in the way.
As much as she had been there for Santana through the custody battle, it didn't go unnoticed to Brittany how much Dani had stepped up her support also. She genuinely dropped everything to be there for Santana, and it was evident that she was really trying. The tension between Brittany and Dani was there underneath the surface, but you'd never be able to tell. Dani wouldn't dream of saying anything to Brittany again, and being anything but nice to her, not while she was trying to win Santana back.
Brittany could see the pining in Dani's eyes, and the appreciation in Santana's every time Dani did something for her to show she cared like sending flowers on the day of the first court hearing or the time she printed a photo of Santana and Mila that she'd secretly taken, one Santana didn't even know about. She framed it and brought it around and simply said;
"I thought it could go on your bedside table, so you can always look at your baby even when she's not with you"
Brittany's heart sunk when Dani did that. She couldn't deny how cute the idea was, but why didn't she think of that?
All signs were pointing towards them "officially getting back together", and they were pretty much acting like it any way, and Brittany knew the minute the custody battle was over she'd just be a spare part getting in the way again. She couldn't be around to watch them build their future together again, so she'd got out of Lima before they could. Back to the tour bubble once more, but this time not as far away from the ones she loved.
And when all that came to an end, she found herself feeling lost. She didn't really know where home was for her anymore. She felt quite far removed from Lima by this point. Yes she would always return because her family was there, and by family she was including Santana and Mila in that too, but she didn't really have many friends there anymore. There was Ashley from school who she and Santana still kept in touch with from time to time, and Quinn she was pretty friendly with now by extension of Santana, but that was it. The bulk of her new friends were situated around the country, but a fair few of them hailed from New York and were heading back to Broadway. Her new best friend Kurt, being one of them. Now he was trying to get her to come too, and although she never in a million years thought she'd return there, it was becoming a viable option considering the alternative seemed to be sticking around Lima and playing second fiddle to Dani now that her and Santana were seemingly so happy together. They had just bought a house together, and Brittany was sure an engagement had to be on the cards soon, and of course she was happy for her best friend but…she couldn't be around to see it. She could have moved anywhere, the world was effectively her oyster and she'd seen and fallen in love with many places on her travels, but the thought of starting completely from scratch was a little daunting. She knew New York, she had friends there, she was years removed from the pain that caused her to leave in the first place. After some further discussion with Kurt (more like persuasion) it was settled. She was going back to New York, and that's where she had been ever since. Thoughts of Santana were still deeply seated in her mind, but at this point she had just come to accept it as something she was always going to have to live with. She'd just have to continue to love Santana, in a different way than the way she wanted to.
"But life in New York is great. I love it" Brittany finished, as Sam enthusiastically nodded along listening to her adventures from over the years.
"Well I'm glad you're doing so well for yourself Brittany, it all sounds amazing. Have you…got anyone special, sharing that life with you?"
"You mean am I single?" Brittany laughed, watching as Sam nodded, the colour rising in his cheeks. He always did get embarrassed easily.
It was a question she got a lot, and to some degree it annoyed her that it was such an important factor for people. In Brittany's eyes, the world was too defined by relationships. Yes, she was turning 30 next year and she was still single, but she was happy with that. Her mother's constant harping on about it like it was the be all and end all of life was really beginning to grind her down. She knew her mom just wanted her to be happy though, she'd said so herself, but she didn't understand. It wasn't that Brittany wanted to be single, but she wasn't going to force things just to meet societal norms. There had been people she'd dated, but nothing serious, never someone she could fully commit to. She put that down to A) her ever present love for Santana and B) her lack of trust after Denver. If it wasn't her mom asking, it was Santana. Santana was always wanting the ins and outs of Brittany's dating life. Little did Brittany know the reason why she was asking, and how each time she'd ask it would be with bated breath, as she dreaded the day Brittany turned around and said she had met someone new and this time it was serious. She couldn't blame Sam for asking though, it was a typical conversation filler, but it just so happened to be a sore spot for Brittany. Still, she answered his question honestly and with a smile.
"Yeah to be honest I just haven't found the right person yet. I mean, my job keeps me so busy so maybe I don't get out enough, and then before that I was travelling around so…I've been officially single a few years now. There are people that I've been seeing for a bit but…never works out. It's okay though, I'm happy" Brittany shrugged.
"Yeah it's the same for me. I travel so much with work that I haven't really had the chance to find the real deal, you know. I'm happy but…gets a little lonely at times. Especially around the holidays"
"Yeah Christmas is always particularly nauseating here, what with all the couples kissing under mistletoe and walking around hand in hand picking out gifts together. Honestly it's like something out of a Christmas movie" Brittany laughed.
Sam laughed along with her, before his expression turned serious. A charged beat could be felt between them as he swallowed nervously.
"You know, it's gonna sound a little crazy but…in all the years we've been apart I've never stopped thinking about you. It's cliché I know but, it's almost like 'you were the one that got away'. You were my first. My first everything actually. First love, first…you know" Sam giggled, and Brittany cringed slightly that at near 30 Sam couldn't just come out with the phrase she was the first person he'd had sex with. "I'm maybe shooting my shot a little early here but, life is so fast-paced for me and I guess you need to grab the opportunity while you can. I'll be here for a couple of months so, I'd love to take you out some time"
Brittany stared at the nervous man in front of her. He was a lovely guy, sweet, kind, funny; all the traits that most women would practically die for in a man. But it wasn't what Brittany wanted, and she wasn't going to string him along.
She chose her words carefully, so not to hurt him.
"Sam I…I really appreciate that. And you being my first means a lot to me too, because I'm one of the few people who can actually say I don't regret how I lost my virginity. But I'm a different person to the Brittany you knew in High School, I've grown up, you have too. And to be honest, I'm just not really looking for anything right now" she said softly.
Sam looked down, disappointed, and if Brittany knew him as well as she thought she did, also pretty embarrassed.
"But Sam, you're a great guy, and I'd love to be friends and hang out, especially because you don't know anyone here".
"I'd really like that too Brittany." He picked up his coffee cup and raised it in the air "Here's to a new friendship!" he laughed.
Santana rolled her eyes as she heard the familiar sound of Taylor Swift's "ME!" blasting from Mila's bedroom for the fifth time in a row.
"One-minute Brit. I can barely hear myself think!" she sighed through the phone, as she walked upstairs to her daughter's bedroom.
"Mila! I know you're happy to have the new Taylor album, but how many times have I told you to turn it down?" she asked, exasperated.
Mila turned the volume down, but not without a roll of her eyes first, looking the absolute image of her mother.
"Thank you!" said Santana, as she left the room and raised the phone to her ear again, Brittany was laughing as she overheard the commotion.
"Is my amazing goddaughter slash niece getting her Taylor on again?"
"She is Brit, and honestly, if I have to hear that guy from Panic at the Disco tell me 'you can't spell awesome without me' one more time…"
"Go easy on her San" Brittany laughed "You were 10 once remember? Don't think I don't remember all the wailing you did in your room the year Destiny's Child released their version of Emotion. You had the runs down and everything. Your dad wanted to kill us I think. We had to be around Mila's age then"
"Yep. Point taken. Don't remind me Brit"
"Anyway, speaking of your dad. Did he and your mom enjoy that restaurant I recommended in Paris?"
"Yes! They loved it! Thank you. They passed on their thanks too. The perks of me having a best friend who's so well-travelled means they're seeing all the best places. They arrived in Nice earlier, so if you any recommendations there…"
"I loved Nice!" Brittany cut in, and Santana could hear the enthusiasm in her voice "I do have some, but I'll text them to you because I can't for the life of me pronounce some of the places. I'm so glad they're having a great time".
It had been two weeks now since Santana had waved her parents off on their European adventure. After years of hard work, George had finally retired, and he and Maribel had sold up to do things they had always wanted to do and never had chance to. The first being travelling Europe since they had never been. With both of their children now fully-fledged adults with lives of their own, the Lopez' knew it was the perfect time to go off and do it, and even though Santana was more than a little worried, she was happy for them.
She was never any good at goodbyes though, and her emotions had already been dampened by Dani who wasn't coming to her parents' house to wave them off.
"Babe I already said bye to them the other day. I'll just be getting in the way. You're their daughter, they want time with you and Mila and their family. They don't want me hanging around"
Santana rolled her eyes but didn't argue with her, even though in her mind Dani should be treating herself as family by now. They had been together years, and her parents had always been more than accommodating towards her.
Of course when she arrived at her parents' house, Pablo's girlfriend Sarah who he had only been with for 9 months, was there in support. She ignored all the questioning looks around Dani's absence and busied herself making tea and coffee for them all, so they could all sit for a while before the cab arrived to take her parents to the airport.
They would be gone for 6 months minimum, and Santana was going to miss them terribly, but she managed to keep her emotions in check when the time came to say goodbye. Maybe she was immune to it by now from all the goodbyes with Brittany? Her control freak and panic mode was out in full force though, as she followed her parents out to the waiting cab, with Mila, Pablo and Sarah in tow.
"Have you got the thermal underwear I gave you?"
"Santana for the most part we'll be in the Mediterranean, we'll be quite fine" Maribel laughed.
"What about cash? I've got some extra if you like. Phone chargers, your wallet dad?" she checked, racking through the mental list in her head.
"Mija it's fine, will you stop worrying? Your mother and I are going to be absolutely fine" said George, taking his daughter into a hug, while Maribel held Mila tight, the goodbye to her granddaughter being the thing that made her the most emotional.
As they said all their goodbyes, waving them off with choruses of love you's, she couldn't help but smile at how happy they seemed to be heading off on their new adventure.
She put her arm around Mila, Pablo doing the same to Sarah.
"Will you leave me to go travelling Mama?" Mila asked curiously.
"Certainly not until you're all grown up my angel. And you know even if I do take a holiday like Abuela and Abuelo, I'd never really be leaving you. They'll be back before you know it, and on the phone all the time". said Santana, placing a kiss on her daughter's cheek.
Santana was right out about that, they were on the phone all the time, updating her and Mila on all of their latest adventures, before relaying the information all over again on the phone to Pablo, their enthusiasm never wearing.
But she was glad that they did call as often as they did, she loved hearing all about what they were getting up to on the other side of the world. And it eased her incessant worrying too.
After spending an hour on the phone with Brittany, Santana went into Mila's room to tell her to turn the music off and start winding down and get ready for bed, before going off to find her girlfriend. Dani was now a Restaurant Manager, having fully worked her way up the hospitality ranks, but her shifts were often all over the place. She wasn't working tonight, so Santana figured they could use some quality time together, maybe a nice bath once Mila was in bed.
That plan soon went out the window when she found Dani applying her makeup and looking ready to hit the town.
"Oh…you're going out again?" Santana raised her eyebrows.
"Yeah…didn't I say. I thought I told you this morning" said Dani nonchalantly.
"Nope. You definitely didn't say"
"Oh, I'm sorry babe. I thought I did"
Santana scratched her neck nervously, keen to avoid confrontation but unable to quell the feeling in her stomach at how much Dani was going out lately. She was barely ever home anymore. When she wasn't working, she was out, and she was drinking a lot lately.
"Who are you going out with?" she asked, trying to keep her tone light.
"Just a couple of the girls from work. Jenna, Marissa maybe. I don't know for sure who's showing up but, I assume there'll be a few of us"
"Right." Santana said, her tone changing and showing her obvious unhappiness over this. Dani span around to face her.
"You seem pissed off." She noted.
"I'm not it's just…I thought we could have a nice night together tonight with you being off work. I feel like you're never here anymore"
"That's not true" Dani laughed defensively.
"Isn't it?" Santana threw back "When was the last time you and I sat down and talked, and I don't just mean a fleeting conversation, I mean really talked? When was the last time we sat down and had dinner together? When was the last time we had sex Danielle? Do you know? Because I don't at this point"
"You're acting like it's been months. I know I haven't had as much time the past few weeks but jeez Santana, if you're that frustrated…get a vibrator" Dani span around to finish her makeup, and Santana was furious.
"Stop avoiding this! We've been skirting around this issue for a while now, but you know what? I'm tired of it. I'm officially over it!" Santana shouted; all composure was officially los
The rage in the fiery Latina only raised rage in the other fiery Latina, and Dani began shouting too.
"I'm not fucking doing anything wrong Santana! All I want to do is go out and let my hair down, without my girlfriend jumping down my throat for it, or raising eyebrows at the amount I have to drink!"
Suddenly they heard the door creak open, and Mila was standing there watching them. They both felt immediately guilty for it.
"Sorry Mila, I didn't mean to shout" said Dani "Mama and I were just having a little disagreement about me drinking all the coffee and not telling her when it runs out"
Santana shook her head and rolled her eyes. Mila was 10 not 2. As if she was going to fall for that. The look on the little girl's face said it all. She was disappointed in herself for losing it like that and letting Mila see them argue.
Suddenly Dani's phone beeped, signalling the cab was waiting outside for her, and Santana couldn't decide if it had come at the best or the worst time. Clearly, they still had a lot to talk about, but you could cut the tension with a knife and they probably needed space away from each other right now before they could talk properly.
"Look I gotta go, that's my ride, but we'll talk later okay? I promise I won't be back late" she said to Santana, her tone softening. She leaned forwards to kiss Santana, hesitant in her approach. Santana turned her head to let her kiss her cheek instead.
"Have a good night" she offered, swallowing thickly to quell her emotions.
"Bye" Dani whispered, before turning to Mila and ruffling her hair "Bye Moosh, if Mama thinks it's okay maybe we could go for ice cream tomorrow? My treat" she said, still feeling guilty that Mila had heard her shouting.
"I'd like that" Mila smiled "Bye Dani, have fun with your friends!"
Santana sighed sadly as she watched Dani leave. What a mess she had found herself in. She pushed it all to the back of her mind and extended her hand out to Mila.
"Come on sweetheart, let's go have some snuggle time on the couch before you go to bed"
Dani had promised she wouldn't be home late, and that they'd talk, so Santana had fought hard to stay awake as long as she could. Sometime just after midnight she had fallen asleep on the couch, the TV still blaring loud. A loud bang on the TV woke her with a start, and she rubbed her eyes in confusion. Checking the time on her phone it read 04:30am.
She didn't think Dani was home because the lights and the TV were still on, and surely Dani would have woken her, but she ran upstairs to check anyway. As expected, there was no sign of Dani.
Where the hell could she be at this time!? Santana began to panic. What if something bad happened to her. She picked up her phone and quickly called her. No answer. She tried a few times, but nothing.
She sat on the sofa stressed, at a loss of what to do. All sorts of situations started running through her head, the worst being that something awful had happened to Dani, and that she was hurt or worse.
A tear fell down her cheek without warning, as she thought about Dani leaving on an argument, and how guilty she'd feel if anything had happened to her. She thought about Dani's words before Mila came in, about her jumping down her throat. Was she being too unreasonable? Was she being that paranoid controlling girlfriend?
She shook her head. She knew she wasn't. The issues with Dani never being home and drinking away her problems had been going on for a while now and had reached fever pitch over the past few weeks. The two of them were now more like ships in the night than partners. Tonight, it had come to a head, but tomorrow they would talk things through calmly and resolve things, Santana mused. She just hoped Dani would call her back soon.
As if someone was reading her mind, her phone began to ring, and she picked it up from the couch frantically.
But instead of seeing Dani's name there as expected, she saw her mom's name. She frowned but then realised it was 10:30am over in Nice. Her mom was usually pretty good at working out time difference and calling at a time that was convenient for both of them, but maybe she just didn't think this time. She answered with the best fake happiness she could muster up, she didn't want to give her mom any reason to worry.
"Mom! Hi. How's Nice? Have you found some good places to eat?"
But instead of hearing Maribel's enthusiastic voice, she was greeted with soft sobs that made her freeze.
"Mom are you alright?" she asked, panic beginning to show.
The crying continued, and a chill ran down Santana's spine.
"Mom what is it!?"
"It's bad news Mija"
Tears pricked Santana's eyes, her panic soaring as she began to breathe heavily.
"Mom…Mom what is it!?" she demanded firmly.
"It's your Papi, Santanita. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry but…Santana he passed away"
