Dipper was the first to rush outside, with Great-Uncle Ford not far behind. It had been less than two minutes since they learned that Mabel had accidentally wandered off with the rift. Dipper had wanted to go about it calmly, try and contact Mabel through their walkie-talkies, but Ford seemed to immediately assume the worst and insisted on rushing out to 'contain the damage'.
"Thank Tesla, we're not too late!" Ford said, looking up at the sky, "if she'd already broken the rift, there could be meteors and screaming turnips raining from the heavens right now!"
Dipper had to admit, even with everything going on, it was weird how the roles had been reversed. Mere hours ago, he was the one rushing to save Ford from being sent to an alien prison on the other side of the galaxy while Ford begged him to stay behind and seal the rift. Now Dipper had been the one to just ask Mabel what was going on and Ford was the one rushing out to save the day. He figured it made some sense - in both cases, making sure the rift was sealed came first. Except when Dipper had asked what they should do, Ford had said "as far as the rift is concerned, it's safer to assume it's a matter of 'when' she breaks it, not 'if'".
What had he meant by that? That it's better to be safe? That anyone would eventually break it? Or Mabel specifically?
Even with the universe at stake, he hoped it wasn't the last option.
As they ran deeper into the woods, however, a familiar figure appeared. He had his back to them, dragging a big… grey lump along the ground, and he was wearing Dipper's backpack.
"SOOS! SOOS!" Dipper cried out, immediately catching his attention.
"Woah! There you are, dudes!" Soos said, breathing a sigh of relief. Followed by a few more sighs to catch his breath. "Boy, am I glad you came out here, I dunno how much further I could drag this… like, space-time mechanic dude!"
Dipper stopped dead in his tracks, skidding along the dirt, upon seeing who the grey lump actually was.
"Blendin Blandin?! The hell is he doing here?!"
"Never mind that, we have to focus on what's important!" Ford cut in before he could answer. "Mr. Ramirez, the backpack!"
Without another word, Soos took the backpack off and wound up his arm, preparing to throw it over to them.
"NO NO NO NO NO!" Dipper and Ford practically screamed at him, frantically shaking their heads and waving their hands.
"Oh. Right," Soos said in a little voice, glancing at the ground. Dipper walked over the five-or-so steps separating them and carefully took his backpack from him.
Unzipping it and looking inside, both he and Ford breathed a long sigh of relief that made Soos' sound paltry. The rift was in there, right where he left it, safe and sound.
"Good… the rift is safe… for now," Ford said, gently taking the globe in his hands and immediately turning around and leisurely heading back for the Shack, as though someone had flipped a switch and he'd gone from panic mode to calm mode in an instant. "There's still the matter of the adhesive to take care of. Come now, time is of the essence!"
"B-but… what about Mabel?! Where is she?!"
"We can worry about her later!"
"I… I-I can't just leave her out there!" Dipper said; if anything, now he was even more panicked, if only because he was the only one now; and because, after their confrontation over him accepting Ford's apprenticeship, he so desperately didn't want that talk to be their last. "Soos, have you seen her?!"
"Oh, hambone's fine! She got a little bump on the noggin, so your aunt came along and took her to the hospital! Oh yeah, and she also punched this Blendo-matic dude in the face 'cause he was possessed by the triangle guy."
Dipper slumped, puzzled. "Aunt? ...I don't have an aunt!"
"'Triangle guy?'" Ford said, walking back over to them. "You mean to tell me this… Blendin fellow was possessed by Bill?!"
"Uh… yeah, I guess so. Don't know any other triangle dudes…" Soos said rather nonchalantly, scratching his stubble. "Although Robbie does have a very pointy chin, and he probably knows some dark magic…"
"Hmm… this is not good. Bill is onto us… and if he's managed to claim a member of the Time Anomaly Removal Crew, that means he can travel through time. There's no telling what sort of havoc he could unleash with that power..." Ford said, darkly, adjusting his glasses; Dipper was confused for a brief moment, before remembering he'd written about Blendin and Time Baby in Journal 3. No doubt Ford had read those additions. "We'd better get Blendin down to the lab, pronto. If he's inside the Unicorn hair shield, Bill can't get to him. Then we can ask just how the hell this happened."
Ford took hold of Blendin, and with a grunt of exertion, tried to drag him along with all his might. He only budged about four inches before Ford got winded and had to stop. Dipper got a look at his face - his little nose was bloodied and bruised, and he was missing one of his teeth. The lady who took him out really did a number on him. This… 'aunt'.
"Soos, you still haven't told me about my 'aunt'. You know, the one I don't have!"
Soos raised his hands, defensively. "Woah, touchy subject. I dunno what beef you've got with your Auntie May-May to disown her like that, but she's still your family!"
Dipper's face scrunched up into a scowl of irritation, and he tactfully ignored the fact that Soos had disowned his lousy dad, so it's not like he could say that even if 'Auntie May-May' did exist.
"No, Soos, seriously, I literally do not have an aunt, much less one called 'May-May'. My mom is an only child and my dad ran away from his family, so I never met his siblings, if he had any. Probably don't want to. He was raised by some… nutty religious compound, Waco siege types, it was a whole thing. That's why he took the Pines name when he married mom."
"Well, maybe she ran away from them, too?"
"Somehow I doubt that. But listen, we're getting off-track!" Dipper raised his voice, "so you're telling me some random woman you've never met before claimed to be my 'Auntie May-May' and took my sister to the hospital, and you just believed her without question?"
Sweat began to roll down Soos' face, and he nervously glanced to the side, tugging at his shirt collar. "W-well… she was a very nice woman! And she looked kinda like Mabel, if she was ten years older and put on a bit of weight. N-not that I'm complaining, in fact, I thought she was kind of a looker," he said, awkwardly chuckling in an obvious attempt to inject some levity into the situation. "Heh… guess I soosed it up again, huh."
Dipper sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Well, never mind, at least we know where she is! We'd better go get her!"
"But your Auntie May-May took my truck!"
"We'll just take the bus! And stop calling her my 'auntie'! I have no auntie!" Dipper repeated, slowly and loudly so Soos got the message.
"Ahem," Ford cleared his throat, drawing Dipper and Soos' attention back to him. He was doubled over like his back was about to give out, and Blendin had barely moved since the last time Dipper checked. "The rift? Blendin? Fate of the universe, remember?"
"Oh…" Soos said, "yeah, I should probably give you a hand with that. And on the way, I can say 'to me, to you!' and tell you amusing handyman anecdotes, like the time I accidentally hooked up the shower to the lightswitch, or when I opened a steam pipe and almost blinded myself!"
"Mm-hmm, yes…" Ford responded with poorly-disguised disinterest. He turned to address Dipper again, looking slightly perturbed. "I presume you're off chasing your sister alone, then?"
Dipper hesitated for just a second, but he knew what he had to do. "Sorry, Great-Uncle Ford, but… it's getting dark, and… I'm worried about Mabel. Even if she wasn't in the hospital, I'd be worried. I-I'll call Wendy, she can make sure I don't get jumped by Gnomes or werewolves or whatever if I'm not back before dark."
"Very well…" Ford said, sounding no less perturbed. Hopefully just because Dipper would miss the big world-saving moment, and for no other reason. "I suppose you've already done the heavy lifting in helping me recover the adhesive in the first place, and saving me from interstellar imprisonment in the process. Oh, and should you meet this… 'Auntie May-May', I believe we owe her some gratitude, too. She probably doesn't realize, but she may have narrowly averted a catastrophe of global proportions."
Mabel knew she was probably tempting fate by thinking this, but could this day get any worse?
She left the emergency room only an hour or so after being brought in, thankfully. It was only a minor head injury, and she came out with only a bandage wrapped around her skull, like one of those action hero bandanas, so at least that's kinda cool. She was still a little dizzy - the doctor advised her not to try running or turning too sharply, but she could walk the walk and talk the talk just fine. She was glad the doctors in this town were at least… like, actual doctors, not dummies like Blubs and Durland.
Speaking of dummies, that woman - the one who said she was Mabel - who threw her onto the ground to start with was there in the reception, nervously pacing up and down, like she thought Mabel was going to die. Apparently she got her in by pretending to be her aunt.
It wasn't long before she noticed Mabel emerging from the hall; she gasped with delight, briefly putting her hands on cheeks.
"Oh, thank God, you're okay! I thought you mighta had an irreversible brain fart or something!" she said, lunging at her with her huge arms wide open, enclosing her in a tight hug. Any other day, she'd welcome this, probably hug her right back, but this day had finally beaten any sense of joy out of her. Not even a bear hug could cheer her up.
Instead, she squirmed and squirmed until one of her hands was free of its prison, and socked the woman right in the eye.
"OW!" she yelped, releasing her hug and nursing the eye in question. "What was… okay, I guess I deserved that…"
"WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!" Mabel bellowed to the best of her ability - drawing the attention of the half-dozen or so others in the reception - her voice raspy from all the crying she'd been doing; that, and it'd been a while since she'd had anything to drink.
"M-Mabel, I-"
"NO, YOU SHUT UP!" Mabel interrupted, jabbing a pointed finger at her. "I was already having the worst day of my life! My childhood is almost over, high school is gonna suck, everyone is leaving me, including my brother, and then you PUT ME IN THE HOSPITAL?! Ya might as well have just killed me! You'd be doing me a favour! "
Hearing that made the larger woman recoil, as though she'd been stabbed by those words. It only lasted for a few seconds, and she removed her hand from her eye, revealing it had already started to go slightly black. ...Wow, Mabel really does underestimate her own strength. Didn't make it any less unnerving when the woman's hands balled into fists and she started glaring down at her.
"Hah, oh here we go!" she said, sounding almost resigned. "This is rich coming from you, Little Miss Start-The-Apocalypse-Because-She-Can't-Handle-Growing-Up! You have no idea what I just saved you from, and you're still mad at me?! If you had any idea, you'd be buying me ice cream sandwiches for six billion years! Mint choc chip ones!"
"Are you serious?!" Mabel yelled back at her, her voice cracking again; she thought she'd run out of tears long ago, but she was clearly wrong. "I-if you really are me, you'd know what I'm going through, you… you wouldn't be such a big jerk! Just… I-I… I hate this, I hate everything! WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!"
When Mabel asked to be left alone, it was not something to be taken lightly; she hated being alone. No, she was afraid of being alone. It was one of her greatest fears. Part of the reason she was so miserable to begin with. So when the time comes that she voluntarily wants to be alone, that's when she realizes things have finally hit rock bottom.
Ignoring the doctor's orders because to heck with the doctor's orders right now, she quickly turned on her heel and ran outside, and off down the sidewalk. It was nighttime outside by now, and despite the illumination provided by the street lamps, the onslaught of darkness coupled with a rush of dizziness caused her pace to falter. It wasn't long before she swayed and tripped, skidding along the ground. Grazing her knee and ruining her already-ruined birthday sweater even more.
She found in her the energy to sit up and gaze down at it - when the day had started, it was coral. Now it was more like… murky brown with coral undertones. It was the perfect visual metaphor for how this day had gone. How her life was going to go. Everything she thought she loved and could count on was forever ruined. The cheery confetti and delicious-looking cake that she laboured so hard over knitting now served only to mock her. She probably couldn't even go to Sweater Town anymore, she'd wrecked the place so badly they'd banished her.
Instead, she tore it off, squirming like an animal trapped in a predator's mouth, and violently hurled into the closest wall with a grunt. A decision she immediately regretted, because now she could feel an early fall chill coming on, and she was only wearing a thin t-shirt under her sweater.
She shivered and curled up into a ball on the sidewalk, the temperature bringing her tears into sharper relief. With the street light directly above her, it was like that light at the end of the tunnel that's supposed to show up when you die. Of course, it had to remind her of that. The only difference right now was that looking at it made her eyes sting and she had to slam them shut.
"You… you threw it away…"
Mabel didn't need to open her eyes, or move, or do anything, but no matter how hard she huddled in on herself, she couldn't block out sound. That voice… the stupid woman had followed her out here, because of course she had. Most people would know to leave her alone when she screamed it like that and curled up outside on the sidewalk, but not her.
"Y-you loved that sweater…" she continued talking, her voice cracking in a way that Mabel recognized. It was a bit rougher, maybe, but it was the same way her own voice had been cracking all day. It was unmistakably her own voice, like she was listening to a recording...
No, no, no. What was she thinking? Recordings can be messed with on computers and stuff. There's no way this jerk is her future self. It can't be. She refuses to believe it. ...But then why would she even be doing this? Why would she follow her out here so soon after she asked to be left alone? No-one had ever done that before, not even her own parents, not even Dipper.
"Mabel…? Mabel, please, come back to me… I'm sorry about what I said, and I'm sorry I put you in the hospital... I wasn't thinking, like always..."
Mabel slowly opened one of her eyes. She saw the lady crouching down in front of her, looking straight into her eyes. She had picked up the sweater she'd discarded, but it was hard to look past her face. The hair was different, and the face overall was a bit bigger, but… the roundiness, the Pines-brand brown eyes that remind her of chocolate cookies, the rosy cheeks of joy, the way she was beginning to cry, herself, but tried to smile at her in spite of it all. It was like looking in a mirror.
Then she noticed some other details she either hadn't noticed or just hadn't cared to notice before. Her pink shirt had what looked like a 'No Unicorns' sign on it - that was an in-joke unlikely to be produced by anyone else. Her tattoos - one of them was a shooting star wrapped around her arm, and another was an arrow pointing down at her hand, with the words 'FASTEN IN CASE OF HUG!' above it. Because only she would give out so many hugs she'd need an advance warning tattooed onto her arms.
Mabel desperately tried to look away, to dismiss these lingering thoughts - maybe because she didn't want to believe this was her future self. Because if she was, then everything she'd said about her earlier was true. That she'd almost caused the end of the world because she was a selfish idiot. ...Maybe she was right, but it wasn't what she wanted to hear right now.
"Mabel… look… look at my face," she said; Mabel tried to ignore it, she really did, but she couldn't. "I know you're having a horrible day. I lived through this. Literally. I've been having a horrible day, too… well, I will have a horrible day ten years from now. Psh, time travel…" she joked, offering a chuckle, but it was obviously hollow and forced. "So, like, we might be strangers right now, but… I know you. I really do. And, in a way, you know me, too."
Mabel couldn't stop staring at her. She couldn't decide which was worse. If she is her future self, then she was a selfish idiot; and if she isn't, then she's just an idiot who got suckered in by some impostor. Neither option was going to make her feel better, she was sure of it, but… maybe if she is her future self, she can count on her. She could always count on herself, right? Right?
She needed some kind of confirmation.
"Wh...hhh-hh…" she tried to ask through a mass of sniffles and hiccups, a lump in her throat blocking it out. "What's… wh-what's your… favourite flavour toothpaste?"
"Cinnamon," she answered, without hesitation. Her smile, once tiny, grew bigger.
Mabel found herself rising, and she asked her next question with more clarity in her voice.
"H-how many sweaters have I worn this summer?"
"107. Including the navy skull sweater you were planning on wearing tomorrow."
Her smile grew again. She was doing good… it was time to bring out the big guns. Mabel narrowed her eyes, wiping off some leftover tears.
"What's Dipper's real name?"
"Mason."
Finally, Mabel stood up. Nobody knew that name out here. Nobody except Dipper himself and their parents, and if mom and dad showed up, she'd know. It couldn't be. It had to be a trick. She had to be hallucinating. Or maybe she died earlier and this was some pre-death vision. Or she was about to get Ker-Prank'd. But it wasn't, was it? This was her she was looking at. Mabel Pines, aged 22. Or maybe 23.
"You… y-y-you… you really are me…"
Just to add one final bit of confirmation, they opened their arms in perfect sync for a hug.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I doubted you… I mean me… I mean… blaaagh, confusing…"
"It's fine, seriously," Future Mabel said, gently stroking a strong hand through her younger self's hair. "I'd have done the same. I just did! Boom..." she went, miming an explosion next to her brain.
They both laughed. For the first time in a long while, Mabel stepped back and permitted herself a smile, wiping more tears from her eyes. She knew this wasn't perfect, because, again, this meant she was a selfish idiot, but… she needed to repress that, just for a little bit. She needed to be strong in front of her older self.
"Heh… wow, I… I'm pretty huge, huh," she said, as Future Mabel stood back up straight, towering over her. "And beefy. And I have a big tummy!" she said in a way that made it clear she was not upset by this; quite the opposite. Made her more huggable that way. Just like Soos!
When Future Mabel stood up, Present Mabel was on eye level with her pudge; she involuntarily raised a pointed finger. "Permission to boop?" she asked.
"Permission granted!" Future Mabel answered, her hands proudly on hips.
"Boop!" Mabel immediately went, poking her in the stomach. They both chuckled. "Boop!" she did it again, and they chuckled even more.
"Boop-a-doop-a-doop-doop, WHOP!" she did six more pokes in rhythm, ending with a slap that made it wobble. That left them both guffawing and snorting like pigs - which was good on two levels, one because pigs, and two because it helped Mabel clear out all the gross tears and snot she'd been gathering.
"Hahaha… so um… I guess I owe you ice cream sandwiches for six billion years, now?"
"What? Nahhh," Future Mabel said, waving it off. "I'll settle for one billion years. Maybe even one million. But ya don't have to start now, I'll let you owe me. But watch out for surprise interest! It'll ambush your bills like the weasel!"
"Hah!" Mabel laughed again, "I don't know what you're talking about, and something tells me I don't wanna!"
"Yeah, it's grown-up stuff. You'll find out. In the meantime, uh… I know I'm probably breaking, like, all of the time-laws just by being here, but - you've had a crappy day. I've had a crappy day. I wanna be happy, and I'd be real happy if I could make you happy… ya see what I'm gettin' at, maybe we could work somethin' out here…?" she said, circling her hands around each other as though she was negotiating an illicit deal.
"Hmm…" Mabel went, raising one brow and tapping a finger against her chin, slyly. "Well, you could cure all the world's diseases! That'd make me pretty happy!"
"Oh definitely, I could do that!" Future Mabel responded as though Present Mabel was't even joking, "I'm pretty sure there's a formula for Mabel-Juice that can kill most germs! The trick's makin' sure it's the right germs!"
Mabel gasped. "You still drink Mabel-Juice?"
"Well, yeah, obvs. Why would I ever stop that flavour train? What, just 'cause I'm grown? A wise man once told me, just 'cause I'm grown, doesn't mean I have to grow up, yanno?"
Mabel nodded, folding her arms, grinning. She knew exactly who said that; he'd said it to her, just hours before. Maybe if she'd remembered it, she could have avoided getting all sad.
"But seriously, though…" Future Mabel said, "right now, I could really go for somethin' to eat. I wanna know if Greasy's has any secret menu items they don't do in my time. You in?"
"Am I?! Uh, yes! All this dumb sadness really gives you an appetite. My tears are high in all the vitamins, it takes a lot outta me!"
As they headed back down the street, Future Mabel wordlessly passed her discarded sweater back to her. She put it on, not even caring about the grime anymore. It's amazing, really; just minutes ago, she was at rock bottom, just about ready to disappear forever, but now it's like none of that ever happened. Maybe it was just because she got some confirmation that growing up wouldn't be so bad. Still, she didn't know everything, like how Dipper is doing in the future, or the Grunkles, but... but she seems to be doing okay, at least. It's a start.
