A/N - It's update time!
Harm and Mac's Apartment
North of Union Station
Late at night
Mac woke up when she heard the pounding on the door. Dragging her tired worn out body down the stairs she made her way to the door before whom ever was there woke up Tommy. She rubbed her hand over her eyes in an attempt to get her eyes to focus right, looking out the peep hole, she was shocked. She quickly opened the door.
"Harm? What the..."
He pulled her into his arms. Kissing her face. "I'm so sorry baby. I love you please don't leave don't leave me."
"Harm...Harm please slow down. I'm not going to leave you. Why do you think that?"
"It doesn't matter, just promise me you will never leave me or our kids?"
"Harm you're scaring me. Please talk to me."
He pulled her tight into his arms. Burying his face in the crook of her neck wrapping his good arm around her waist. "Baby I can't loose you. You can't leave me alone in this world."
"I'm not going to leave you. I love you. I love you." She tried to pull back so she could look at him. But he just held on to her, like his life depended on her. She could feel his tears on her bare shoulder. She just let him cry, knowing that he needed to let out all his pent up pain inside of him.
After what seemed and felt like an eternity, he finally pulled back. She looked deep into his red teared eyes. "Are you better now?"
"I'm not sure, all I am sure of; is I'm scared Sarah. I'm scared I'm going to loose myself." Taking him by the hand she walked them over to the sofa.
"Now talk to me. Help me feel what you're feeling."
"My head and my heart are at war with each other. One is telling me one thing; the other is telling me something else."
"Witch one do you want to listen too?"
Harm thought for a minute, he remembered his mother's words "listen to your heart." Then Jordan's words, "Are you truly happy with your life?" Than he thought back to the vision of his life. Did he really want all that? Was his head just playing a game with him? Tricking him into believing that's what he really wanted?
Mac just watched the raging war taking place inside Harm's head. Not knowing what to say to him, but suddenly feeling that herself and the kids would never be enough for him. She was shocked when he stood up and and headed upstairs. She watched him trying to figure out what he was doing. Should she go after him? Or should she just wait for him to come back down stairs?
She made her mind up, getting up she walked up to their bedroom, walking over to the bed. She sat down next to him laying her head on his shoulder, she placed her hand over his heart. He covered her hand with his. "Sarah I want you. I want this, our life our family. That's what I want."
"I know you do, we want you to. But we don't want you to loose a very special part of who you are. You need to be true to your heart. Follow that."
"I have followed that; it took me hitting my head to wake me up."
"That much is true; by the way you need to stop that. It's not good for your head."
Harm chuckled, "Mac how did we get here?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean to this point, where I'm questioning myself."
"I honestly..." They both stoped talking when Tommy started to cry. Mac stood and walked over picking him up. She checked his diaper, he was dry. She felt him start rooting on her. Knowing now he was hungry she took him with her and went down to the kitchen to make his bottle. Harm stood and walked to the top of the stairs, he just watched as his wife went about fixing his son's bottle. Suddenly everything just clicked, he could have it all the family the career all of it. He just needed to figure out how to fit all the pieces to the puzzle in just right.
Mac turned around looking at Harm, she suddenly let out a laugh. This caught Harms attention. "What's so funny ninja girl?"
"I just noticed that your wearing your hospital that's fine with me, I'm enjoying the view from here."
Looking down; he realized that she was in fact right. "I ummmmm. Well I just left"
"Oh I see; Tommy your daddy is on the run from the big bad hospital."
"You know your not funny."
"Yes I am, that's part of the reason you love me."
Harm walked down the stairs and over to his wife and son. "You know the real reason I love you?"
"What's that Rabb?"
"You complete me, you don't take my crap ,you let me be myself and never walk away. I need you."
"Works both ways, I need you too." Harm took Mac by the hand and led her and Tommy up their bedroom. He sat down on the leaning back against the pillows. Mac sat down next to him while she finished feeding Tommy. After a while all three drifted off to sleep.
