The echoing roars from Northwest Manor were substantially quieter in the pine tree forests of Oregon. To Kevin and Mabel, it was blending into little more than the dull roar of the nearby highway, dampened down in their own enthusiastic conversations about what they had seen in the manor - and, to Kevin's greater interest, what Mabel did when she wasn't in Oregon.

After all, Kevin had never been to California. His family had many rules in place for survival - that included a travel ban on California, Washington and Florida. In Manly Dan's eyes, those places were only good if there was a shortage of fake tan, toupees, fancy vegetables or speedos.

No, the Corduroy's plans were all based in Oregon. If anybody from the family dared cross those respective state borders, Dan would have them straight off to lumber camp. Or summer school. Or the incredibly bizarre amalgamation his Aunty Lucy had set up in the Cascade Mountain Range.

As a result, it was only natural that Kevin viewed these places as unusual or exotic.

"So when my teacher told me to stop grappling the lunch lady's ankles, I had to do another six weeks of detention. So, I tried to grapple my way out of the detention hall, then they put me in a class full of awesome kids who knew how to start fires…"

"Is it really that crazy in the city?"

"Aw man, you guys need to visit us sometime! I could take you for milkshakes, we could watch traffic accidents, we can eat at fast food chains…"

"I'd like that." He replied, with only a very slight twinge of uncertainty. "So… where are we going?"

"We're gonna bust that Triangle's plans once and for all!" Mabel grinned as she vaulted herself over a fallen tree. "He's in for it now!"

"I mean, isn't he kinda trapped already?" Kevin asked, following her close behind, his favourite axe balanced on one of his shoulders. "I dunno how we can make that any worse for the guy."

"Kevin, if there's one thing I know, it's that heck hath no fury like a woman scorned!"

"Meaning what?"

"Meaning I wanna beat the guy up somehow ."

Kevin paused and smirked at the idea of the girl with a collection of pig themed jumpers beating anyone up; but she was more than convincing. In fact, he was kind of excited to see her aptitude for a good punch up, even if he had no idea how it would manifest. "So how's that gonna work?"

"Well, first, we gotta find him." Mabel said, though she was substantially less enthusiastic about her solution. "And I know a guy who's an expert on the forest. They're a bit weird, but uh… they're alright. I guess."

"Got a history?"

"They're kinda, sort of… sort of an ex. But don't freak out, okay? It lasted for like, a few hours."

"They were that bad? What did they do?"

"Tried to marry me."

"Eesh."

"Yeah. Wasn't great. Another amazing story in the life of Mabel!" She grinned, flapping her sweater sleeves. "Hope you know what you're getting into, sugar!"

"Sugar?"

"Yeah, 'cos I'm addicted to you and go all hyper whenever we're together!"

"You aren't hyper usually?"

"You don't know my story, sweetcheeks." She replied, giving him a cheeky bump on the hip. "Now, just play this cool, okay? Don't freak out."

Kevin blushed and smiled, wrapping his fingers around Mabel's hand. "Where do you get these nicknames?"

She thought for a moment, tapping her chin in her usual exaggerated - and overenthusiastic - manner. "Mostly Grunkle Stan's old-timey movies. He has a thing for romantic movies. But that's a secret."

"Your family is full of surprises."

Kevin was not prepared for quite the level of surprise Mabel was now presenting towards him. They wandered into an open forest glade, a peaceful, quiet area, surrounded by toadstools - and, before them, there stood a small writing desk, bedecked in poorly written paperwork.

"Man." Came a voice. "Never let people say Monarchical rule isn't hard. Jeez, who knew Gnomes opened so many supermarkets?"

"Hey, Jeff."

"Mabel? Hey! You come to reconsider the throne, or-"

"This is my boyfriend, Kevin."

Jeff's face furrowed before he tried to put on his most nonchalant expression. "Oh. Hey there, sport. Nice tooth gap. What do you both want? It's a long way from the nearest log cabin, or wherever you guys go at night."

Kevin blinked, half offended by the remark over his tooth gap, half confused to all hell by the appearance of a little man with a beard. It didn't help that he was still remarkably confused by the idea of being Mabel's Boyfriend. That was pretty big, right? Like, a pretty big step. He liked it, but-

Geez. Mabel Pines is his girlfriend.

"So, I need someone who's an expert in the forest." Mabel smiled, twisting her foot on the floor sheepishly. "And we all know there's nobody with more expertise than the king of the gnomes, right?"

Jeff rolled his eyes. "You won't flatter me into helping you, heartbreaker. We've been through this. We had a truce to break up that gas station and that's it."

"I'll give you a sticker." Mabel replied, rifling through her pockets.

"A sticker? Pul-eeze. What do you think I am? I'm not easily bought, lady."

"Yeah? What if it was… this one?" came the smug reply.

Mabel pulled out a glittery, round sticker featuring a very excited cat's face, with the word 'Meow-vellous' written underneath.

It was an impressive offering.

Not even the world's most discerning - perhaps even only remotely discerning - gnome could refuse such a glorious, complimentary mark upon his person. No, the deal was set in stone. Jeff agreed, and did so with a marked enthusiasm.

Thankfully - and somewhat remarkably, considering his nature of being a gnome, he was at least competent enough to remember the location of Bill's final physical presence in the world - though it still took him a good hour to find it, after a stop off at the local gnomish pigeon meat restaurant.

It turned out that the statue of Bill had become a centrepiece for a dive bar, inhabited by a gang of Nymphs - floating, flirtatious and strangely muscular little things that wore band T-shirts and played loud, obnoxious pop music constantly. Considering their dive bar was actually a stolen crate of tacky shabby chic homeware and they were drinking cups of spring water, they were a pretty bewildering sight.

"Ugh. These guys weren't here last time." Jeff sighed. "Nymphs are the worst. Obsessed with humans, trying to emulate them, trying to make their own society, worshipping musicians…"

"Aw, they're kinda cute! Look at those tiny cups!" Mabel beamed.

"Don't be fooled." Jeff replied. "They're like groupies. They fall in love and move on quicker than the population of Snadgers. They have no principles, no rules, no king! They just chase that thrill of being noticed."

"Sounds like they need female empowerment." Mabel replied. "Poor things."

"Sure, sure, whatever." Jeff snapped, rolling his eyes. "But that takes time and you wanted this done quickly. You got a couple of pennies or something?"

The two kids rifled through their pockets and assembled a small collection of quarters, pennies and dimes. They were understandably troubled by the request. It seemed particularly vague.

"What for?" Kevin asked as he handed his spare change over.

"Watch." Jeff grinned, tossing them over the crate.

The Nymphs continued their idle chatter - then froze. "Ohmygosh. Was that human money?"

"That was human money!"

"Human money?! I'm going to buy an overpriced coffee!"

"I'm going to buy a decorative fruit bowl I'll never put fruit in!"

"I want to put signs promoting alcoholism everywhere!"

"Wow. They're awful." Kevin grimaced, as the group of Nymphs leapt out of their crate in a chaotic gaggle, fighting for the pieces of nickel and copper as if it was - well, actually enough to buy any of the items they listed.

"That's nymphs for ya. So what are you planning to do with the triangle guy?"

"We're gonna take him and have some fun." Mabel replied with a devilish grin, rubbing her hands together. "Got your axe, Kevin?"

"You bet, sweetcheeks."

The two shared a lovestruck gaze, while Jeff pretended to vomit.