I know I'm in Med Bay almost as soon as I wake up. The lights above me have become a little too familiar for my tastes. But there's a sense of safety here; I only wake up in Med Bay after I'm healed in Med Bay.

None of the pain I felt when I was last awake is present. Not the physical pain anyway. I take a deep breath, and there's a sharp tug in my side, but it's barely a pang in comparison, and the air moves all the way through my lungs. My leg doesn't hurt at all, nothing hurts the way it did.

Except...

Instantly, I want Garrus. I lift a hand, half expecting him to take it immediately, but when no one does, I use it to push up a little. "Oh, he is gonna be pissed you finally woke up the second he left the room," someone else in the room laughs.

It takes me a second to realize this Turian is not Garrus, though she looks like her brother. Solana.

She steps forward and takes my hand now, squeezing gently. "Are you in any pain? Do you need anything?"

I need Garrus. "Coffee," I answer honestly. "I can - "

"No!" she interjects the moment I even start to move. "You're not going anywhere yet. Let me get it for you."

"I don't want you to - "

"Shepard," she interrupts much more gently this time. "It would be my pleasure to get a cup of coffee for my future bond-sister." My heart skips at the words; does that mean he told them we're engaged? Even if she's just assuming, it feels damn good to hear. She grins and adds, "And I'll get what you really want while I'm out there. I'm sure he hasn't gone far."

She leaves the room, leaving me smiling, and I take the moment alone to assess. I remember watching the explosion on the galaxy map, I certainly remember everything before that...but what comes after is hazy. I don't remember getting from the galaxy map to here. Something in my gut tells me that's for the best, though.

I remember the Reaper in my head, too. I don't think I'll ever forget that. God, I wanted to give into it. What if I had? What if that happens without even realizing it, slowly and over time like Benezia and Saren said in what feels like another lifetime now. What if they get to me?

The doors whoosh open and every concern, every fear, every ounce of remaining pain leaves me in a flood. Garrus zeroes in on me and makes a bee line. I feel like I haven't seen him in days, starved for him, so I'm already leaning up to meet his mouth when he comes down to me. His hand slips into my hair to hold me still but he meets my tongue with all the need I can feel exploding through me. He breaks away after only a second, but it's enough that my head is spinning.

"I knew you'd come back to me," he whispers, putting his forehead against mine. I lean into that touch too, reveling in the now-familiar tingle it brings in my spine.

"Always," I respond, holding his face between my hands. "I don't remember a lot of what happened after getting back to the ship, but I know you were there. Thank you."

Garrus winces and shakes his head, then kisses me again briefly to keep me from protesting. "It doesn't matter what happened. You're here, and you're gonna be fine."

"Yes, she will," Chakwas says from behind Garrus, seconds after the doors open again. "But fondling my patient is still not allowed, Garrus Vakarian."

"I have an issue with this treatment plan," I quip even while letting Garrus pull away a little. When I spot his father standing not two feet from the bed, my face heats. He heard and saw all of that. He heard and saw everything that happened, including...oh, no. "Oh. I...I freaked out, didn't I?"

Garrus narrows his eyes at me as Chakwas approaches my other side. "You had a severe panic attack brought on by the trauma to your body and mind - and I don't just mean the Reaper," the doctor tells me firmly. "A normal person wouldn't have made it that far and wouldn't have recovered."

"She's never been normal," Garrus replies. I stick my tongue out at him, and his eyes brighten.

"Special delivery," Solana announces as she returns holding a mug between her hands. I accept it greedily - probably the only thing I'd let go of Garrus's hand for right now - and take a big sip even while it's too hot. Garrus takes one of my hands back the second he can while Chakwas and Solana quickly examine me. I learn that I was shot six times and had a number of broken ribs that started healing even before I got into surgery, thanks to cybernetics. They have no lingering concerns.

"Whether I like it or not, you'll be battle ready as soon as you need to be."

"And unfortunately...that's sooner than I would like," Garrus adds with a grimace. I frown at him, curious, but he shakes his head. "We'll talk about it later. You're going to take it easy this morning. And that starts with eating. I'll go get - "

"Don't go." I squeeze his arm harder than I mean to, but even the thought of him walking away right now is too much for me. I need him to stay. Garrus smiles like he understands and brushes the hair behind my ear, tugging the lobe.

"You can get dressed and go to your quarters, Shepard," Chakwas suggests. "You aren't allowed out of bed once you're up there, not for the rest of the day, but I'm sure someone will bring you breakfast."

"Allow me," Castis offers, nodding his head almost respectfully. But considering he told Garrus to keep me as a side piece and marry someone else, that seems pretty impossible. Garrus looks confused by it too, especially when Castis walks out of the room without any further comment.

"Don't question it, take advantage," Solana advises her brother, motioning toward me. "Get her upstairs, get some rest. Can I bring up the next dose of painkillers and spend some time with you two?"

"Please do," I answer quickly. I haven't had nearly enough time with the bubbly, bright Vakarian doctor who evidently had a hand in helping me. "Thank you, by the way. You helped, obviously, and I'm really grateful."

Solana flashes me a beaming smile and squeezes my hand. "Anything." She smiles at Garrus before heading out of the room. Chakwas offers us privacy so I can get dressed and follows her out, and EDI shutters the windows.

A peace washes over me when I realize I'm alone with Garrus. I missed him more than I could ever explain while I was on Aratoht, and there was a minute during the shootout where I wasn't sure I'd ever see him again. I remember how guilty Garrus sounded too when he told me that a ground crew couldn't come in to rescue me. The distance was almost impossible for either of us to manage, and it's not something I want to do ever again.

"I want to hold you, but I'm not sure I'll be able to let you go again once I do, so it needs to wait until we're upstairs," Garrus tells me, obviously on the same page. He reaches to the table beside the bed and presents me with clothes, including one of his shirts that I steal regularly.

"You know, I never have asked what this shirt says," I note, using the conversation to distract me from the lingering and rising pain when I sit up and turn to hang my legs over the bed, Garrus supporting every movement. "Am I walking around with something totally inappropriate on my tits?"

He barks out a laugh before kneeling with my underwear in his hands. I try not to focus on how helpless being dressed makes me feel and instead appreciate the care he gives me. "It's a logo for a gaming company. Nerdy but not naughty, I promise."

"I suppose I'll have to take your work for it," I tease. He flashes me a grin. When he has both my sweatpants and underwear around my knees, Garrus puts my socks on before guiding me to stand. He knew I wouldn't want to stand on the cold floor. My leg hurts, but not more than it would after a sparring match, and I notice immediately that I can bend my knee now. "How long was I down?"

"Two days," he answers, and immediately I can hear the strain in his voice.

He pulls my pants the rest of the way up, and I stop him from moving away, trapping his hands at my hips. A closer examination of his face assures me that he hasn't been sleeping, and there's enough lingering guilt and pain in his impossibly blue gaze to gut smile. I smile and take his face between my hands, running my thumbs over his clan markings. Garrus leans into the touch and closes his eyes. "You saved my life," I tell him. "Again. Getting back to you got me off that station."

He pulls me closer, still gentle, and whispers, "Always come back to me, Shepard."

"I will," I promise, sealing it with a soft kiss. He looks less pained when we part, so I release him and turn to let him untie my hospital gown at the back. Morbid curiosity makes me look down at my waist where the worst of the injuries was; now all that remains is a glowing orange scar. "Considering how much these scars bothered me at first, it's absurd how happy I am to see this one."

"I have a love-hate relationship with all your scars," Garrus informs me, helping me clasp my bra after I pull it on. "You earned every one of them, and I love seeing how strong you are. I also love tracing them." I shiver when his talon slips across an older scar on my hip. "But I hate reminders that you were hurt. This one," he motions to my waist, "might be my least favorite."

"I know what you mean about hating the reminders," I note, reaching up to touch the injured side of his face. "And this is going to heal way before those. Then you'll have something new to trace."

"Looking forward to it," he purrs, kissing me softly before pulling my shirt on over my head. I push my arms through and shift away from the bed, testing out my own weight. "Okay? Any chance you'll let me carry you upstairs?"

"I'd need no legs to agree to that, Vakarian, and even then, I'd put up a fight."

Garrus just rolls his eyes at me and offers his arm. I take it, letting him wrap his other arm around my waist and bear most of my weight. He can handle it, and I already know this is going to be an exhausting endeavor. Especially when I walk out of Med Bay and get instantly bombarded.

I'm absolutely not sad that any of them are here to see me, and I don't mind hugging Tali, Kelly, and Gabby - more than once. Even Jack pats my back, which is like flowers and diamonds levels of affection from that one. It's incredibly sweet and, as always, I count my blessings. Being on a Cerberus ship, this could have been a nightmare, but the team I put together and the crew hired by Cerberus are better than I could have imagined. I'm proud to be leading them into hell.

Garrus gets them all away from me after a few minutes, probably because he can tell how much heavier I need to lean into him now. They promise to ambush us with a movie in our quarters tonight and then we're free to go. When the elevator doors close, I can feel myself growing more exhausted by the moment. "Hey, big guy?"

"Yeah?"

"Still wanna carry me?"

He laughs and replies, "Always," before scooping me smoothly into his arms. I tuck myself against his chest, cuddling in even if the right will be short. "Couch or bed?"

"Couch for now, since your dad is apparently bringing me breakfast." I look up at Garrus, not trying to hide my grimace. "He saw everything that happened - me getting shot and freaking out like that. Does he hate me even more now?"

A low growl breaks from Garrus's chest. "If he hates you at all, that's on him. And if he somehow hates you more after watching you survive that, he's a fucking moron. We haven't talked much about what happened; I've been preoccupied."

"I'm surprised they're still here. That wasn't the original plan, was it?"

Garrus shakes his head as we step out. "No, but Solana refused to leave until you woke up."

"I love her already," I admit, and I'm glad I did with the smile it puts on Garrus's face. The doors to our quarters open, and we're immediately greeted by a chorus of urgent meows. "Monster! Oh, my buddy, did you miss your mama?"

Garrus deposits me on the couch and then lifts the kitten into my lap where he starts purring like mad, demanding both my hands be all over him at the same time. He's just as soothing as always, and Garrus setting a blanket down around my shoulders before sitting at my side helps, too. I lean into him and close my eyes, basking that peace with Garrus running his hand through my hair.

"Garrus's father is at the door," EDI announces a few moments later. And there goes the peace.

"You can let him in," I confirm.

I straighten away from Garrus a little, but he doesn't go far. It warms me that he doesn't care what his father sees or knows about us, but I can't help feeling like a general in my quarters deserves a little decorum.

Castis marches into the room with one tray in each hand, but he does a double take at the fishtank and pauses halfway down the stairs. "I...sort of assumed Solana was exaggerating," he murmurs, almost to himself. I know the feeling and can't help a laugh.

"Yeah, trust me, I had just as much trouble getting used to it," I tell him. "It's better with fish, though. Empty it was just...weird."

Castis shakes it off and approaches, putting the trays down on the table in front of us. At Garrus's soft frown, he explains, "I'm aware of the last time you ate, Garrus. She's better now; you have no more excuses."

"You haven't been eating?" I demand, Garrus already shrinking away like he knew it was coming. "Garrus! How can you take care of me like you want to if you're starving yourself?"

"I was not starving to death," he counters. "In fact, I finished a big ass jar of peanut butter over the last two days, okay?"

Whether or not that's true, it works to make me not mad at him anymore, and a laugh erupts from me. It hurts my ribs, but I don't care, and I don't fight the urge to kiss him for it. Garrus smiles against my mouth but when I see the blush on his throat as I pull back, I become painfully aware that this xenophobic father who wants him to marry someone else is standing in the room. When I dare a glance up, though, we aren't being glared at. He's lowering onto the far end of the couch, looking around.

"They consulted Turians on the build of this?" he asks.

This time, Garrus laughs. "The captain's quarters on the original Normandy were much more...standard. This is a Cerberus upgrade."

"And honestly, one that I don't mind."

"I can see why," Castis replies, shocking both of us when he laughs softly. I look to Garrus for help or some kind of signal about what's going on, but he just shakes his head a little. "Please, both of you need to eat. But we need to have a serious discussion while you do." He motions to our trays and after a pause it becomes clear that he's going to continue until we eat.

"Here," Garrus offers, leaning forward to retrieve mine. I would normally object, but the pain in my ribs is still bad enough that I'm inclined to sit still. And I'll get in trouble with Chakwas and Solana now if I re-injure myself. It's even harder to object when Garrus hands me a big bowl of Gardner's famous mac and cheese; he makes dehydrated, powdered cheese taste like it's a delicacy. Garrus hates the stuff which is fine since I don't have to share; besides, he's perfectly happy with the steak Gardner gave him.

"You look well, Shepard," Castis offers, snagging the extra cup of coffee from Garrus's tray. I notice there's an extra dessert, too; I would not have guessed this is where Garrus gets his sweet tooth from. "I have to admit that I am...very impressed. Not many people would have had the strength to complete that mission with all the challenges you faced - and I don't just mean the physical injuries." He shakes his head slowly. "The choice you had to make, Shepard...you won't get the credit you deserve for that."

The macaroni and cheese in my mouth looses all flavor, and I have to force it down. "I think it'll be awhile before I can think of it as anything other than mass murder."

"Stop," Garrus breathes, leaning down to kiss my head. "Don't do that to yourself."

"He's right," Castis interjects before I can say anything else. "It's not your fault that the galaxy chooses to be ignorant to the Reaper threat. What you did saved trillions, and you will eventually be remembered for that." I open my mouth and he holds up a stand to stop me, grinning. "I can see you're not someone who seeks glory. That's to be admired these days. It's...honorable."

I nearly drop my dinner, even if the cheese is a joyful gift. Garrus makes a sound beside me that almost sounds like choking. "Dad...are you drunk?"

Castis barks out a laugh, and it's the first time he sounds similar to Garrus. His melted chocolate is definitely a little darker than Garrus, revealing either age or just a more serious man in general, but it's instantly recognizable. I could pick that laugh out of a crowd and hearing it puts me instantly more at ease. Granted, that's still very little at ease with Castis, but it's more than a moment ago.

"I am not drunk, thank you," he says, definitely trying his best to find his stern voice again. "When have you ever known me to rely on alcohol?"

He almost seems to mean it as a joke, but Garrus immediately shifts. It's tiny, I'm certain Castis doesn't notice it and no one else would either, but I know Garrus. He's uncomfortable, and I have to fight the urge to reach for him and bring attention to it. He leans into me just a little more, making it look like nothing more than the need to touch me. I'm humbled yet again to know that he needs me in these moments, needs me for comfort. It's the same way I've always needed him.

Castis is oblivious though, and that's for the best.

"I am not..." He takes a breath. "I can't say that I fully understand or approve of...this." He waves between us. "Your relationship will make life more difficult for both of you, and I won't apologize for wanting to protect our family, our legacy. Or for wanting to protect you," he adds with a pointed look at his son. "However..."

He looks directly at me, and for a moment, I can barely breathe. Is he going to ask me to marry someone else, too?

"I can also see now the honor you will bring to the Vakarian family and to Palaven, Commander Shepard."

And now I really can't breathe. Did he just... "What?" It takes me a second and Castis laughing to realize that Garrus and I said that at the same time.

"What happened on Aratoht is going to complicate things further for you, Shepard," Castis continues, growing serious again. "Working with Cerberus is yet another complication. You should prepare yourself for what's to come, both of you. But when this part of your mission is over - and I expect you to get my son back through the Omega Relay...you should come to the Citadel and meet Garrus's mom."

"Dad," Garrus chokes out, his hand landing heavily on my thigh. I quickly discard my bowl, putting it right down on the couch, so I can grab his hand. For a second, I wonder if I've been hit by Reaper tech again and this is some kind of weird dream. Maybe I got an infection from all the gunshots and this is a hallucination. That seems the only way. But none of this matters unless...

"I appreciate what you're saying, I really do. I know how much it matters to Garrus, too," I tell him. "But I need to know if you still expect Garrus to marry someone else. I can't..." I shake my head and glance at Garrus, my heart piercing. "I can't just have part of you."

"You don't," Garrus whispers, squeezing my hand almost hard enough it hurts. I can see the question in his eyes, and I nod. It's the right thing. He looks back to his dad and announces, "I asked Shepard to marry me. This was before you got here; it had nothing to do with you. But she said yes, and I have every intention of keeping that promise. If it means I can never see Mom or Sol or the kids again it...it'll break my heart. And I'll marry her means that much to me, Dad. She means everything."

I close my eyes to try and fight back against the pain surging through my chest, and not from any injury. It breaks my heart to think that I'm pulling Garrus away from his family, to know that I'm bringing him the pain that will come with losing his parents. And especially to know that I'm too selfish, I need him too much, to let him go. I thought I could once...but now I know. No Shepard without Vakarian.

Castis takes a deep breath. "I have to admit that I didn't fully believe you were bonded when you told me. I have never heard of a Turian bonding with someone of another species, I didn't know it was possible. I understand now that what I was asking you would be impossible." He shakes his head. "You do not need to marry a Turian."

"I'm almost scared to ask if we have your blessing for this marriage," Garrus notes. He sounds more than almost scared.

Now, Castis grins. "We'll see what your mother thinks. She and I will make that decision together."

"Oh, no pressure," I joke. Sort of. At least it makes both of them laugh. It even almost makes me smile.

"Commander," Joker says over the comms. "Sorry to interrupt, but Admiral Hackett is on the line. He called as soon as we sent the update that you woke up, wants to talk immediately."

I feel Garrus stiffen, and my memories of the mission are clear enough for me to remember why. I can also see the look on Castis's face; he's assuming that the complications are about to begin, and I think he's right. But I'm still a soldier, and whether or not I'm currently an Alliance soldier, Admiral Hackett will always be my commanding officer.

"I'll take the call up here, Joker, thanks." He confirms, and I see the notification flash on the window over my desk for a holo-call.

"You think he didn't know what was going on down there?" Garrus asks. "What happened to Kenson before you even got there?"

I shake my head. "I've seen too much to know for sure, but I think Hackett is clean. Kenson used her personal connection to him to get me there; that's not on him. If I called Anderson for any reason, he'd send in his best."

Garrus nods but notes, "You are his best," with a grin.

"Thank you. Now please get me a somewhat more professional shirt so I can be seen by an admiral." Garrus laughs but nods and darts to the closet. I don't have to ask Castis to turn away while Garrus helps me change, but Garrus blocks me from view anyway. He then helps me off the couch, and I indulge his overprotectiveness. For now.

I get up to the desk, taking my time mostly for fear I'm wrong about Hackett, and start the holo-call. He seems almost surprised to see me.

"You recovered," he says in greeting. "It sounds like you went through hell down there. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, Admiral," I answer, folding my hands behind my back and nodding respectfully. It's only half a lie, but it's the answer he expected.

"You went out there as a favor to me, so I wanted to debrief you as soon as possible," he continues. "Granted, that was before the mass relay exploded and destroyed an entire Batarian system. What the hell happened out there, Commander?"

It's as close to being reprimanded by him as I've ever come, and part of me wants to fold and flinch away from it. I'm still a soldier. But I won't do it.

"Have you received any intel about what happened?" I ask. "Did you know what Kenson was doing, what The Project entailed?"

Hackett shakes his head. "There was a Reaper artifact, and then she was imprisoned, that's what I know. And I sent you there to get her out of prison, but now an entire system is destroyed. I hope you can fill in the leap logically between those two events."

"Can you send him the report immediately?" I ask Garrus, turning off screen.

"Already on it," he answers, tapping on a datapad. I hear it come through on Hackett's end and watch him scanning a datapad.

"I confirmed Dr. Kenson's proof. The Reapers were coming, and destroying that relay was the only way to stop them." I can hear the guilt in my own voice about it, even knowing what I said was true. "Kenson was indoctrinated; she attacked me. I started the engines on the asteroid with little more than an hour left. I tried to warn the Batarian colony but...time ran out."

I have to choke out the last three words, and Garrus is there in a flash. He grabs my hand and squeezes, then says, "We also tried to get word to the Alliance to warn the Batarians to evacuate. Both ends dragged their feet."

"The Batarians report no survivors," he tells us somberly. "At least you tried."

It'll never be enough, and when Garrus wraps an arm around my shoulder, I accept the comfort without a thought for Hackett's opinions on it.

Hackett looks up from the datapad and asks, "And you believe the Reaper invasion really was a threat?"

"No doubt about it," I tell him, absolutely certain about this bit. "We had literally minutes to spare."

"I'm sure all the details are in your report." He motions to the datapad and sighs heavily. "I won't lie to you, Shepard, the Batarians will want blood and there's just enough evidence for a witch hunt. And we don't want war with the Batarians. Especially not with the Reapers at the galaxy's edge."

"What are you saying?" I ask, my voice suddenly sounding distant to me. His tone is even more ominous than his words, and I can still hear Castis telling me that we should prepare for what's to come. A glance at him reveals his dread.

"You did what you did for the best of reasons," Hackett tells me. "I would have done the same from what I'm hearing. But there were more than three hundred thousand Batarians in that system. All dead."

My stomach turns. "You don't need to remind me."

"They died to save trillions of lives," Garrus interjects. I can tell he's having to put significant effort into not snapping. "If Shepard could have saved them, you know she would have."

"I don't have a doubt in my mind," Hackett agrees. "If it were up to me, I'd give her a damn metal. Unfortunately...not everyone will see it that way. And the fact that you ran this op while working for Cerberus will not help your case."

I take a deep breath, trying to settle my stomach and my mind. Castis and Hackett are both warning us that backlash is coming, and from what I'm hearing, it's going to be bad. "When the Reapers invade, we need the galaxy to work together. The Alliance cannot be at war with the Batarians when that happens."

Garrus gives me a concerned look, trying to read my mind. I don't know enough of what's going on in my own head to explain. I don't know what my options are or what to do here.

"At this point, I can't say what will happen," Hackett tells us. "I imagine there will be some form of...reckoning. I can't stop it, but I can and will make them fight for it. You focus on the Collectors, I'll deal with the Alliance. But when Earth calls...

"Sir, I'll make sure I'm there with my dress blues on," I promise. I don't know what the Alliance will say or expect of me to pay for this, and I assume they'll want me to pay for working with Cerberus, but I do know how I'll respond. No matter who I work for right now, I haven't lost my honor.

Hacket motions to the datapad again, does something on the screen, and then turns it to show us. Blank. "I don't need to see your report to know you did the right thing, Commander. As far as I'm concerned, you have never let us down."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

"You've done a hell of a thing. Keep up the good work out there." He nods to Garrus and adds, "And you, too, Vakarian. Keep our girl safe."

"Will do, sir," Garrus promises.

"Oh, and...congratulations. Anderson told me about your engagement." Hackett offers a soft smile, the first I've ever seen on the man I've known for more than a decade. "We're thrilled for you both. Hard to imagine two people better suited for one another."

And with that, he nods and clicks off, leaving us gaping again. "I woke up in an alternate universe where people approve of us."

Garrus laughs and kisses my head. "Two people, but it's more than we had." He turns back to his dad. "Did you think something like this was coming from the Alliance?"

"Yes," answers with a somber nod. "I worried it would be worse; it sounds like Hackett may be able to keep them to a citation."

I flinch. "Not my first."

"But not as bad as it could be," he counters. Castis shakes his head. "In any case, Hackett will delay them so you still only need to focus on the Collectors - getting through the Omega 4 relay and back after defeating them. And that means you need to focus on getting back to operational status."

"He's right. Chakwas said you're supposed to be in bed all day."

Garrus swoops me up into his arms without warning and I yelp in a very undignified way - made even more so by the fact that his father can hear it. "Wait, not bed yet! I was eating mac and..."

Garrus freezes as my sentence trails off when we both get a look at the couch where I'd forgotten my bowl. My bowl which now has a gray kitten head buried in it. Behind us, Castis barks out a laugh and then covers it poorly with a cough. I can't help a laugh as well until Garrus gives me a dark look and I bite my lip to try and silence it. Of course, biting my lip only makes Garrus give me a different sort of dark look.

"Best of luck with your monster creature. I'll leave you alone to get some rest."

"Castis!" I call quickly, shifting in Garrus's arms so I can look back at him. He turns before reaching the doors. "Thank you. I appreciate you giving me a chance to prove I can deserve your son."

I can tell the words surprise Castis and I can feel the way they surprise Garrus, but Castis gives a short nod before turning and leaving the room. Garrus chooses to ignore it as well and moves right for the bed, depositing me gently on the mattress. "You, stay here. I'm going to deal with your fuzzy troublemaker."

"Isn't he our fuzzy troublemaker?" I tease. Garrus narrows his eyes but can't hide his smile completely as he pulls the blanket back for me and walks away, aiming for the couch and the cat who is still happily snacking on my lunch. Well, it's really his lunch now.

I decide to listen to him for once and stay in bed, but it's only because I have plans of my own. I slip under the blankets, making sure to keep an eye on Garrus to make sure he doesn't notice me. He's too busy scolding Monster lightly on the way to the bathroom. God, he's the cutest. Both of them. When the doors to the bathroom shut, I kick my plan into high gear and strip, throwing all my clothes to the other side of the bed so he won't notice them. I snuggle all the way under the blankets after to hide myself from view until he's getting into bed with me.

A few minutes later, Garrus returns, toweling off a very unhappy kitten. "Yeah, well, if you didn't want a bath, you shouldn't have stuck your face in cheese."

I get another set of narrowed blue eyes when I laugh, but Garrus puts Monster down to complain on his own before cleaning up from lunch. He waves it off when I thank him and offer to help; I have no intentions of getting up to help, but I do intend to thank him properly. "Solana is coming with my next dose of painkillers, right? Do you know when?"

"Couple hours. Why, are you in pain?" he asks, finally heading for me.

"No, not at all, really." That's mostly honest; I can feel my injuries, but I also know what will help. "Just wondering how long we have to rest. I missed you."

Garrus smiles, the expression soft and gentle. "I missed you too, kid."

He pulls his shirt off before sliding into bed beside me, and I watch surprise flash over his eyes when he pulls me carefully into his arms and feels my bare body. He lifts the blanket with one hand and peeks under; I have to laugh at the expression on his face. "You..." He clears his throat and puts the blanket back down. "You are supposed to be resting."

"I feel fine," I assure him, pressing against him and pulling his hand back onto my waist. "And if you're really worried...I can lay back and let you do all the work."

Garrus growls and it shifts into a whimper when I kiss his throat softly. "Mmm this is bad," he breathes even as his hand slides around my back and down to my ass, just grazing. "You were injured, you need more rest."

"I'm sore and stiff. I need something to loosen me up, to relax me," I argue, kissing up to his jaw between words. "Nothing can make me melt like you can."

"Oh, baby." His other hand moves into my hair, and he tilts my head back so my face lifts to his. We both moan when he kisses me, and I start to melt almost the second his tongue touches mine. He keeps the kiss and his touches gentle, but I have no complaints so long as he's touching me. Garrus shifts to move over me but makes extra sure none of his body weight is on me. I arch into him, needing more contact, more touch, and he moans deeply. "I could kiss you all day," he murmurs against my mouth.

"Sounds like a perfect day."

"Wanna kiss you everywhere." He shifts to meet my jaw, nipping slowly and softly. "All this soft, warm skin...this perfect body." He nips my collarbone, and I gasp with no pain in my ribs or chest. "First moment I saw you, I wanted to worship you. And now I get to do that for the rest of my life."

A whimper escapes me, my spine arching as his hot breath ghosts over my nipple. I expected him to torture me, to go slow enough that I end up begging and pleading. But Garrus is on a mission and aiming for exactly what I want him to give me. When I mention it, Garrus chuckles against my hip before nipping sharply enough that I jump a little.

"I need you to rest," he murmurs, slowly spreading my legs and lower himself between them. "But I need to make you cum, too. So I'll have to wait until next time to make you beg." His tongue slips slowly through my folds, a long and slow kiss with his tongue delving deep. It drags a guttural groan from me, his tongue absolutely perfect. "Two days and I've been starved for you," he breathes, punctuating it with a long lick.

I'm lost to him in seconds, Garrus an absolute master of my body. His moans, deep growls, and the way his hands skim everywhere he can reach signals that he's every bit as into this as I am, and that's exceptionally hot. All of his focus is on my pleasure; every signal I send, Garrus obeys. I implode for him, crying out his name and gripping his fringe. He guides me back down slowly, carefully, and then shifts to lay beside me on the bed with a deep, satisfied sigh.

Panting, I look up at him and try to force a frown. It's hard with all the pleasure flooding my veins. "You're not gonna let me touch you, are you?"

"Nope," he chuckles softly. "You need to rest."

I force a playful groan and roll toward him, wrapping my arms around his neck. Garrus doesn't push me away, pulling me against him so that his erection is throbbing against my stomach. "But you're hard."

"Of course I am, but I'll be just fine." He leans down and nuzzles my face. "No more. I need you to get some rest, baby. Please."

I want to argue, I want to at least try. I woke up horny and I've missed him, even if I was unconscious. But now I'm completely exhausted. My body is heavy; even trying to pull him closer is too much. I feel fantastic but totally spent, so I don't put up a fight.

"That's my girl," he breathes, rolling to his back and pulling me against his side. "Get some sleep, my love. I'm all yours if you promise to rest for the rest of the day."

I smile and snuggle into his chest. "That's the best incentive I've ever had to stay in bed. I love you, big guy."

"I love you too, kid."


Shepard sleeps in fits and spurts. She can barely close her eyes without seeing what happened on Aratoht all over again, her heart barely holding together as it is. All I can do is hold her, trying to get her to sleep when she can through the rest of the day. It helps when Solana comes up for a while, getting Shepard back at ease and laughing again. After Solana leaves, when I need Shepard to sleep through the night, I resort to exhausting her physically and that does the trick. It makes both of us damn happy, too.

She's better in the morning, a little steadier. I know it's going to take a while for her to stop blaming herself, especially after the talk with Hackett and knowing there's a punishment waiting for what she did, but I know we'll get her through it, too. She walked me back from the very brink, and I'll be damned if I can't do the same for her. Unfortunately, I'm also forced to tell her about my call with the Illusive Man and Miranda, driving us toward our next mission.

"Wait, wait, wait," Shepard interjects with a grin when I tell her who was on the call. "How thrilled was the Illusive Man to have to talk to you instead of me or just Miranda? How did Miranda even get through it without her head exploding?!"

I laugh and shake my head. "Miranda invited me, you troublemaker," I tease. "She didn't think you would be thrilled about this particular idea from the Illusive Man and wanted me there as a...witness, sort of. Someone you trust in the room, at least."

"Smart. So, what's the mission?"

"You're not gonna believe this, but it's a derelict Reaper." Her eyes harden instantly, exactly the way I knew they would and the way I'm sure mine did when the Illusive Man told me. The whole thing sounds way too familiar. "I know. Honestly, the only reason I didn't walk out of the room right then is because I don't think he's stupid enough - or thinks you're stupid enough - to try the same trick again so soon."

Shepard takes a breath, letting that sink in. "Okay. I'll bite since you did. How did he find a derelict Reaper?"

"Well, you know that he's been looking for a way to get us IFF technology," I remind her, and she nods. "So, an Alliance science team figured out that something called the Great Rift on the planet Klendagon is actually an impact crater from a mass accelerator weapon - and I verified that. It would have needed to be a very old mass accelerator though, so the Illusive Man went on the hunt. It led to what he says is a thirty-seven million-year-old Reaper, dead. They found it damaged and trapped in the gravity of a brown dwarf."

She frowns a little. "Aren't brown dwarfs basically stars that didn't make it?"

"Basically, yeah. They're uninhabitable, dangerous to even be in the atmosphere, but the Reaper has a Mass Effect field that keeps it in orbit. It's stable from what he said and the data he sent, but calling it safe would be a big stretch."

"Okay, but...a downed Reaper? We saw what Sovereign did to the Citadel fleet."

I shrug and shake my head. "Best guess is that this was one moment of defiance before the Reapers took out whatever species made the shot." She nods, and I can see the tension that I feel mirrored in her.

What will be our last moment of defiance? Will we even get that far?

Shepard takes a breath, so I continue, "The Illusive Man and Cerberus sent a team in looking for the IFF. He thinks that they found something but they lost contact and he doesn't want to commit more resources that couldn't handle whatever happened to the first."

"Cleaning up another Cerberus mess," Shepard groans. "When the Collectors are done and we get back through the Omega 4 Relay, we're done with them. Even if it costs me the Normandy. You know that, right?"

"I know, and you know I'll follow you wherever that leads." She smiles, a genuine one now, and leans in to kiss me. I accept it gratefully. "So, Joker has the coordinates, my father and sister have a shuttle pick-up scheduled, and EDI is checking out the data that the Cerberus team did manage to send back."

"Okay. So we should get the team together and talk about this," she notes. "I'm not taking anyone else on a mission like this without a heads up about the last time first."

I nod and don't fight my proud smile. She never disappoints me. But her expression is tight, and I know something bad is running through that mind. Considering what she's faced and what's still ahead, it could be any number of things.

I reach out and tug her ear lightly. "What's going on in there, kid? You okay?"

"I...not really," she admits, shoulders falling. I shift a little closer, and Shepard reaches out to glide her fingers along my collar. She doesn't look comforted enough, so I take her legs and pull, turning her and then moving her thighs around my waist. She laughs, sliding across the mattress, and then leans heavily into me like she's grateful.

"You don't have to talk it out if you don't want to," I tell her honestly. "Especially if you're not ready yet."

"No, it's not that. I have to because...I need to ask you for a favor."

I shift back so I can take her chin in my hand, and I pull her face up until she's looking me in the eye. "Anything, Shepard. I'll do anything for you."

A sigh escapes her, and she pulls my hand down to hold it between hers. "That Reaper artifact...the Reaper. It really got in my head, Garrus." I can hear the fear in her voice and slip my other hand around her back, trying to ground her. "I could hear it telling me to give in, and...God, I wanted to. I so badly wanted to, it felt...right."

I can imagine how disturbing that has to be, fighting a war against something and then wanting to submit to it - even for a moment. And she managed to fight through it, to resist it.

"You remember what the hold indoctrination had on Benezia and Saren was like, not just Kenson," she says, almost like she's urging me. "Every one of them almost worshipped the Reapers, they were excited for the Reapers to come and destroy or enslave us. Kenson was watching the Collectors take human colonies, and she was heartbroken when I stopped the invasion."

"Indoctrination is the Reaper's most powerful weapon for sure," I agree. "And it sounds like most victims never realize it's happening."

"Exactly. The people closest to Benezia knew that something was going on, Saren was smart enough to isolate himself," she continues.

I fight the wince off my face, choosing not to remember that I didn't worry when Saren didn't call for months before Nihlus died. It's much harder to fight the wince that thinking about Nihlus brings, but Shepard isn't done. She very obviously has something important to say, something she wants me to understand, and she's making me a little nervous.

"Garrus...you would know if I were indoctrinated." She nods, confirming it to both of us, I think. "You know me better than anyone, better than I know myself. You would know."

"I imagine I would," I agree. "Is that what's going on? You're afraid you'll be indoctrinated?"

She huffs out a laugh. "Garrus, I am terrified that I'll be indoctrinated. I think that's what they want, more than to kill me. They want to use me, to make me use this ship and this team and you for their mission. They want me to help them kill all of us."

"Okay, breathe," I interject, taking her face between my hands. Her pulse is racing, and I can see that visceral fear in her eyes. "Baby, we're not going to let that happen."

"Garrus...you couldn't stop it." She swallows hard and meets my eyes. "But you could stop me."

My heart plunges into my stomach and my hands - suddenly lead - fall away from her face. "What are you saying?" I mean for it to come out as a demand, even a challenge to match the heat I feel building inside me. But the other thing building inside me, the horror and pain, comes out in my voice instead.

"I'm saying that if I get indoctrinated - "

"You won't."

"IF, Garrus, stop," she pleads, catching my hands when I start backing away from her. I resist, so she climbs right into my lap. "Garrus," she whispers. "Don't let me become that. Don't let them take my mind. If they indoctrinate me..." She pierces me with emerald green eyes. "I need you to kill me."

A sound escapes me that I can barely recognize as me, and I feel my stomach roll at the very thought. "How could you...Shepard. I couldn't do it."

"Yes, you could," she argues, her hard tone not matching the pain in her eyes or the tears escaping down her cheeks. "You could, and you're the only person I could trust enough to do it."

"Don't do that," I snap at her, yanking her hands away from my face and holding her wrists. "Do not use my feelings against me when you just asked me to murder you. Shepard, I love you too much, I couldn't - "

"No, Garrus, you love me enough," she counters. Silence echoes through my brain in the pause after the sentence, the words sinking deep. "You love me enough that you'd never let them do that to me. You know how it would destroy me to be responsible for whatever they made me do, and you love me enough that you wouldn't let it happen."

My head drops heavily, her shoulder there to catch it. I release her arms, and Shepard immediately wraps them around me. "I hate that you just did this to me," I confess.

"I do too," she replies, her voice and heartbeat telling me that she means it. "But you're the only person I would trust with this, ever. I'm sorry."

I shake my head and pull myself together as much as I can before looking up at her again. "I won't let them take you from me. Not in any way. Okay?"

"Thank you." She tilts her head, offering her mouth without taking, giving me a chance to need space. It's the last thing I need and never what I want.

I capture her mouth roughly, kissing her lips with bruising force that makes her moan and shudder. I yank her head back by the hair, and trail my tongue down her throat in a hot line, savoring her sweet but salty taste. Inhaling deeply, I sink my teeth into her neck hard enough to break the skin, and her pained groan sends sparks right to my groin. "You're mine," I growl against her skin, my hands restless along her spine. "They can't have you. No one can."

"I'm yours," she replies, and then repeats it, her hands trailing my fringe softly and then coming to my face. She doesn't pull me away, but I can feel her gentling me, and I let it happen. She can submit to me and still let me lean on her, still bring me back from losing control. She's strong enough for both, and she'll be strong enough to defeat the Reapers.

And I'll be strong enough to stand at her six, no matter what that means or how much it hurts me.

"I love you," she whispers when I lift my face, trailing her mouth over my clan markings and then down my mandible. "You're always exactly what I need. Thank you."

I just shake my head, unable to form words at the moment. I catch her left hand and bring it to my mouth, kissing her ring and then her palm, and then the pressure point on her wrist. Her scent is stronger in these places where her heart beats, and I let the citrus and cinnamon wash over me. It soothes me even as it heats my blood. This time, I offer my mouth, and she accepts it eagerly.

I press her back on top of the blankets and pull her arms over her head, stretching my body out on top of hers slowly. Shepard writhes almost instantly, arching her hips up against mine and moaning when she finds what she was looking for. I roll my hips against her and explore more mouth languidly, using my perfect knowledge of her body to get her panting and moaning. She's desperate to give, to feel me - I can feel the need pouring off of her, and while Shepard believes her body has been trained to obey mine, it's the same for me. I'm powerless to reject her, and in this, I don't want to.

I rock my hips strategically, and Shepard throws her head back to cry out. I take advantage of the angle and drop my head to capture a nipple in my mouth through her tank top, giving a sharp enough bit to get her biotics sparking. They surge through me, a hot spark running from the base of my neck and through the top of my cock. My very hard cock.

"Remember our first time on this ship?" I ask, grinding against her between shallow rocks. "I couldn't stand not touching you for another second. I've wanted you desperately from the first moment we met." I pin her hips completely, getting the leverage I need to drive harder, to drive her harder. "I fucking love making you cum, Elle. Give me what I want." I bite her nipple again, then shift to bring my mouth to her ear. "Cum for me, baby. Cum now."

Shepard's entire body goes rigid and bows, her body contorting under mine while she cries my name in her release. I roll my hips against her, taking the friction I need, and feel a hot tension quickly building to a boiling point in my spine. She says my name again, baring her throat, and the knowledge that my mark will be there soon is enough to send me tumbling into a glorious oblivion. Pleasure explodes through all my senses, and it's not until the orgasm chooses to release me that I can begin to feel her hands ghosting over my back and fringe.

"Oh, you're good," she murmurs, now little more than a puddle under me on the mattress. I huff out a laugh and kiss her quickly before rolling to my back, the sticky mess in my pants instantly uncomfortable. And entirely worth it. "I am so glad I had a one-night stand with you."

That one makes me laugh even harder. "Yeah, thank the Spirits I'm easy."

She swats my leg for that but laughs with me, and then rolls onto her side, propping her head up on her hand to look down at me. She's flushed and sweaty. Absolutely fucking gorgeous.

"You're a mess," she teases, looking at what I'm sure is a wet spot over my cock. "Can I clean you off in the shower?"

I grin at her, loving this powerless way she makes me. "Anything, Shepard."