Chapter Thirty-Six: The Rubble or Our Sins

Kachi didn't know what time it was when he finally passed out from exhaustion. He'd spent the rest of his waking hours that night lying on his back, staring at the ceiling tiles and praying for the Sandman to visit. Though his body ached, and his mind was completely drained, the stiff mattress beneath him offered no comfort, and the sheets were like coarse sandpaper against his body.

He knew precisely what was keeping him awake; it was the usual culprit, his thoughts. Everything that happened that night was swirling in his mind like water circling a drain, the only difference being that it would never disappear. No. The vortex would only spin faster, some moments replaying more frequently than others.

Kachi lifted his hands to his head, gripping it tightly as he growled in frustration. He didn't want to think about it anymore. All he wanted was to sleep, so that he may wake with a fresh conscience to better deal with his situation. The growling continued as he tossed his pillow to the foot of the bed; it was much too warm for his liking. He then rolled over facing the wall, the growling coming to a stop before he forced his eyes shut.

Almost as quickly as he did, they shot open again. The sound of a truck horn beyond the window had startled him, causing him to jump slightly from his position. Once the horn had ceased, Kachi lifted himself upright, sitting against the headboard. The cold wood sent shivers throughout his body as he was rudely reminded that he wasn't wearing a shirt.

Looking into the room, he was met with the same thing he saw when he lied down for the first time, a clear shot to the wall opposite to him as well as the door. It was significantly brighter within the space, and as he turned his gaze to the window, he was met with harsh rays of sunlight beating down upon him, as well as the space around him.

Kachi reflexively shielded his eyes, the brightness stinging much worse than he'd remembered it; it had been a while since he'd looked directly at the sun, after all. The pain was only intensified by the splitting headache he felt following the short glance. The canine put his hands to his head, his ears falling flat as he clenched his jaw. He sat still for a moment and waited for his body to settle down before sitting upright again.

More carefully this time, Kachi looked out the window. The sun hung low in the sky, but the shadows it cast had that air of sharpness that was paramount to an early morning. The canine sighed. He felt as if he'd barely slept, and he remembered the face of the building facing West, meaning the window to his room was facing East. Judging by where the sun was, it was an early morning for sure.

Kachi didn't even bother trying to go back to sleep. He'd never been able to after waking up in the morning, and napping was impossible for him unless he felt sick. It didn't matter how little he'd slept. If the sun was up, he was up too. One of the many things the canine hated about himself.

He figured there was no use staying in bed. If he wasn't going to sleep, and since the room was nearly empty, it was most likely in his best interest to get up. He sluggishly turned himself around, staring blankly at the naked wall across from him. It was a welcome change from the direct sunlight, but not as intriguing as the ceiling tiles.

As his right foot made contact with the ground, his eyebrows folded; it wasn't the same texture as the ground he felt under his left. He thought nothing of it until he leaned forward and glanced down. Under his foot sat a towel, matching the color of the room's carpet near identically. His mind flashed back; it was the towel, thoroughly used to clean himself up the night previous.

Against his better judgement, Kachi continued by standing upright, getting an even better feel for the differing textures of the two fabrics. The first one was plush, and pleasant. Nothing too noticeable, as carpet should be.

The second, much coarser. It felt just as any other towel he'd put against his body did. Yeah, it was rough, but the fabric was just soft enough to not hurt as one dried themselves off. After all the fabric was woven in such a way to absorb liquid, not to be comfortable. As he stood longer, however, he noticed that the towel's texture varied. Some spots were softer, while others…a bit less.

With a grimace, he gently kicked the towel into the middle of the room, watching it fly through the air and flop pathetically onto another part of the carpet. A soft groan left Kachi's lips, knowing precisely what it was that he felt. Instinctively, he rubbed his foot against the carpet, wanting to rid himself of the texture's imprint.

Kachi stepped deeper into the room, this time mindful of where he tread. The sun's rays enveloped him, his black fur aiding in the absorption of the heat, warming him up. It was much more inviting than the bedroom's admittedly chilly air.

He stood in the center of the room, placing his hands on his hips as he took in his surroundings. Looking over his shoulder, he saw the condition he'd left the bed in after he'd spent most of the night in it. The sheets were all balled up in to one corner of the bed, having been pulled from their positions, and the fitted sheet over the top half of the mattress had come dislodged. Kachi's eyes narrowed; he didn't recall tossing around that much.

Turning his head back slightly, his gaze came to rest upon the closet at the foot of the bed. The doors stood out against the white walls of the room with them being a dark-colored wood. They showed their age, as they were covered nicks and scratches of different sizes.

As he looked them over, the elegant woodgrain gave way to a solid-white obstruction. Squinting and leaning in closer, Kachi made out the gentle texture of a cotton t-shirt. As he approached it, lowering himself and kneeling, it became apparent that it had been hastily bunched up and thrown with no regard for it, or where it landed.

Kachi extended a hand, scooping up the shirt and unfurling it before holding it up in front of him, allowing the light from the window to give him a better look at it. With it being a white shirt, its opaque nature allowed for a little bit of the room behind it to be seen through it, however, it also allowed for any imperfection to be easily detected.

As he had the shirt pinched between his index and thumb in both hands, Kachi observed the multitude of wrinkles the shirt possessed from being tossed aside so haphazardly. Nothing that wouldn't come out with a good wash, but as he looked closer, there were a few dark spots spanning from the very top of the left shoulder to about halfway down the chest.

Kachi tilted his head, staring into them for a good few seconds. It was then his memory was jogged. He had forgotten to remove his shirt as he was taking care of himself, and following his climax, he'd realized that he'd hit his shirt. Having been left overnight, the shirt was now stained with an unmistakable residue.

The canine quickly balled the shirt back up, gently tossing it toward the towel he'd moved moments earlier, creating something of a small laundry pile. He then got back to his feet, turning around as he placed his hands in his pockets before slowly stepping toward the pile. He stared down at it with disinterest paired with a hint of disgust.

Looking up to the window again, Kachi noticed that the shadows were getting shorter. It was an interesting time, as the days were so short, one was able to watch the shadows shrink, even from afar. He left his post in the middle of the room and began pacing back and forth in the sun's rays.

It was really only a formality. The pacing was meant to encourage thought within him, but there wasn't very much to think about. Since waking up, hell, even before then, Kachi had known what had to be done that day. His fists tightened slightly in his pockets. There was no way around it. He and Dana needed to talk.

He wouldn't be able to ignore what happened, and he knew Dana couldn't either; it was simply too important. Something like that had never occurred between them, and with how it ended, Kachi knew neither of them could be feeling too great about it either.

As the events, from start to finish, from the moment Dana hopped onto his lap to when he cleaned his fur post-climax, played through his head, the most dominant emotion within the young canine was disgust.

Though not as much as he did the night before, Kachi just felt gross. Perhaps it was the fact that he hadn't showered afterwards as he normally would, but it was ruled out as soon as he realized that his discomfort went beyond the physical level. The ache behind his eyes only confirmed it, either that, or it was because he was dehydrated.

Either way, Kachi wanted the full story on the events of the night. Nothing sounded worse to him than having nothing be said and allowing their relationship to deteriorate. Even though he felt so gross afterward, it was more directed toward himself; he held no animosity toward the labradoodle. Perhaps the alcohol had gotten to him after all…

Shaking his head, the canine stopped his pacing. He pulled his hands from his pockets and crossed his arms across his chest. His mind was racing again, filled with the events of the night as well as worries about what was to come. A soft sigh left him as his arms fell to his sides.

With his headache pounding and his muscles tired, only one thing sounded good to Kachi in that moment: A nice, hot shower. His mind decisively made up, he set a course for the washroom. As the door drew nearer however, it occurred to him that a typically simple task would be made much more difficult due to his locale.

Due to the proximity of the washroom to the first bedroom, showering first wasn't an option, as the running water had a good chance of waking the two canines he was sure were still sleeping. On top of that, he wasn't particularly thrilled to put his sweatpants back on after getting out, as they weren't exactly 'clean' either and there was no way he was going in wearing only a towel.

He wasn't on Nevers Road anymore, meaning his dresser wasn't with him. He'd packed himself some outfits, but they weren't with him, at least, not in that room. Never had the next room over seemed so far away. An exasperated sigh left Kachi as he stared nervously toward the door. It appeared he would be facing Dana, as well as Legosi, much earlier than he'd anticipated.

Kachi huffed, realizing what had to be done. He crossed the room, headed toward the door. As he placed his hand upon the silver knob and pulled the door open, the resulting draft carried a very particular and recognizable scent with it. Inhaling softly, Kachi picked up on subtle hints of…pure arousal within the air. His nose scrunched up as he rolled his eyes; he definitely needed a shower.

He peered into the hallway; the space being illuminated by the sunlight coming from the windows in the kitchen as well as the living room. Looking behind him, Kachi also noticed that light was coming from his father's room. The door was propped open, and the curtains were open as well, the morning sun shining on him just as it had in the second bedroom.

If the door were open, it meant that Shen had already gotten up, and judging by the silence in the apartment around him, he'd already left for the gym as well. A gentle sigh of relief left Kachi, as it would be one less person to potentially run into.

Even though the door to the first bedroom was literally three feet from where he was standing, he couldn't help but hesitate at the thought of stepping outside. His grip on the door tightened as his nerves caught up with him. A few moments passed before the young canine was able to convince himself that the longer he waited, the more likely they'd be to wake up.

Kachi took a few steadying breaths before taking a cautious first step into the empty corridor. Two steps later, he'd arrived at the first bedroom's door. Now that he was standing in front of it, he'd realized just how misplaced his fears were. He rolled his eyes. The short trip wasn't even the hard part.

He put his hand onto the knob, twisting it slowly as not to make any noise. Once the latch was released, he pushed the door open, leaning forward slightly to scope out the room beyond. The first thing he made out was the computer and its desk. The screen wasn't visible from his angle of approach, but the lack of noise coming from the speakers told him that it had finally gone to sleep some time after he left.

Pushing the door open further, the first of two canines, Legosi, was seen on the floor between the desk and the bed. Kachi poked his head into the room, raising his right ear to get any sound that was coming from the wolf. A soft, slow, rhythmic breathing could be heard from his direction, telling Kachi that he was still in the clear, as Legosi was still asleep.

Kachi pushed the door the rest of the way open, being careful as not to let it hit the wall behind it. Right where he'd left it, at the foot of the bed on the floor, sat his bag, still bulging and misshapen due to how much stuff he'd crammed into it.

His heartrate picked up slightly as he took his first steps into the room. His gaze instinctively turned to the sleeping wolf on the floor to his right. As he crept past him, he watched Legosi with great intensity, praying that he wouldn't detect him. After taking much longer than he should have, Kachi finally stopped in front of his bag.

It was tantalizingly close. The hard part was over. All that was left for Kachi to do was scoop the bag up, leave just as quietly as he'd entered, and transport the bag to the second bedroom. From there, it didn't matter if the others woke up with his shower; he'd have his clothes.

Kachi knelt, picking up the deceptively heavy duffel with both arms, opting not to carry it over his shoulder this time. As he rose back to his feet, he glanced quickly toward the bed to gauge the condition of the second canine, Dana. To his shock, the bed was empty. His brows folded.

Interesting…Dana isn't a morning person in the slightest, especially not after a night of drinking, I assume…but if he isn't in bed, then where is he? Maybe he's in the same boat as me; couldn't sleep and decided to give up. I wouldn't exactly blame him…though, if he did get up, he's probably still somewhere in the house, meaning I should get out of here and into the washroom before he has the chance to notice I'm awake.

Kachi kept his eyes on the empty bed as he turned to make his retreat. His mind was filled with concern; could Dana be just as troubled about what happened as he was? As his heart raced, he neglected to look where he was going, and as he turned around completely, his left foot came into heavy contact with the bed frame. He kicked it with great force, the sound echoing throughout the room.

Pain seared in his foot and shot up his leg. He cried out, nearly toppling over as the bag dropped from his hands, landing with a loud thud upon the carpet. He leaned on the bed frame for support, taking his weight off his injured foot. As he seethed for a few seconds, he looked over toward the sleeping wolf just in time to find that he was, in fact, and rather expectantly, no longer asleep.

Kachi sighed quietly to himself as Legosi pushed himself from the floor, a groan escaping the wolf's lips. He rubbed his eyes before turning his head toward the canine. From his angle, a shirtless Kachi was leaning upon the bed frame, with his head hung low, while standing on one leg; not exactly the most common thing to wake up to.

The wolf continued to stare at him, resting a hand on his forehead as he listened to Kachi's labored breathing. He'd heard a few thumps, followed by a yelp, and judging by the canine's position, he was in a great deal of pain, "What are you doing?" asked Legosi. Though raspy, the annoyance was crystal clear.

"I just…wanted…some clothes," said Kachi between breaths. He looked up from the bed, making eye contact with the wolf, "but then I smacked my foot off the bed on the way out."

Legosi's expression softened, "Ouch. Sorry to hear that," he stated apologetically.

The wolf then slowly pushed himself upright, turning his body to lean against the bed. Once in position, a sudden, piercing pain shot through his head, causing him to wince. His head tilted backwards, his eyes shut tight and jaw clenched. A groan, almost a growl, left the wolf.

Hearing the sound, Kachi looked over to Legosi again. Seeing his condition, his ears fell flat against his skull, "Woah, you good?" he asked, tilting his head.

Legosi's eyes opened slightly for a moment before closing them again. He held his head in his hands, "Yeah…my head just started to hurt out of nowhere," he said, fangs borne as the pain began to even out.

Kachi raised an eyebrow. He knew that feeling, though it was accompanied by literally not being able to get up without the risk of vomiting or falling over. Though the wolf was in pain, a weak smile crept onto his face, "Yeah, well you did drink quite a bit for your first time. Not as much as I did apparently, because you can still move, but yeah, you're dehydrated."

Legosi, clearly not impressed, shot Kachi an icy glare. The canine's smirk remained on his face as Legosi rolled his eyes before he reached behind him and placed his hands upon the bed. Then, slowly but surely, he pulled himself to his feet, making a point to stay off his injured leg.

Seeing that his fur was matted down from lying on such a flat surface, Kachi's smirk intensified, "Also, you slept on the floor." he added, folding his arms.

Legosi glanced at him from the corner of his eye. He lifted a hand from the bed to his neck, rubbing it softly. Carefully, he turned his head toward the canine at the other end of the room, "I guess that look, as well as your comments, are Karma for last week, right?"

Kachi shrugged, his smirk softening into a smile, "Yup," he said, a short chuckle following afterward.

Legosi tried to laugh along with him, but along with his neck, the rest of the joints in his body were stiff, and simply breathing in too deeply was enough to cause the wolf pain in his chest. Then, his eyes narrowed, "Hey, you drank more than I did, how are you not half-dead?"

Kachi knew why. He was awake for hours before he was finally allowed to sleep. Between Dana, his little 'session,' and being awake with his thoughts, enough time had passed for him to sober up, even if it was just a little. Kachi winced as snippets flashed in his mind, "Eh, I sobered up before going to bed, y'know, like drinking water. Heard that helps," he stated, lifting a hand to his neck.

Legosi nodded, "Right. I didn't exactly get a chance to do that, I could barely move," he lifted his hands, "not because I was blacking out, it just put me right to sleep after a while," he said in his defense.

Kachi shrugged, "So you're one of those sleepy drunks, it seems," he commented.

Legosi raised an eyebrow, "O-kay? Well, that, and you and Dana were on the bed already." As he spoke, Legosi turned around to face the bed. Looking it over, he was met with the same sight as Kachi. It took a second to register with the wolf. He blinked once, staring at the bed a moment longer before looking back toward Kachi, "Where did he go?" he asked.

Kachi put his hands on his hips, "Dunno, found out a minute ago. My best guess would have to be that he's in the living room or something," he replied.

The wolf looked around the room a couple times before a soft sigh left his lips, "Right, well, I think I'm going for a shower. You don't mind, right? Maybe the hot water will help me loosen up a bit," Legosi stated, as he continued looking around him.

Hearing the wolf's statement, Kachi was reminded of the reason he'd even gone back to the first bedroom. He'd gotten so engrossed in conversation with Legosi that he'd forgotten that he'd originally wanted to be in and out quickly.

Frantically, Kachi whipped up an answer, "No, not at all, but, ah, d'you think you could let me go first?" he asked.

Upon hearing Kachi's question, Legosi carefully craned his neck toward the canine, "Uh, sure, but I don't understand why that matters. I won't be very long if that's what you're worried about," he commented.

Kachi shook his head, "Because, I was coming in here to get my clothes. I was trying to be quiet," he argued.

Legosi rolled his eyes, a weak smile returning to his face, "But you weren't. You kicked the bed and shouted at the top of your lungs."

"I did not!" shouted Kachi. His ears fell flat. Making a point to lower his voice, the canine continued, "Well…I didn't shout that loud," he said in his defense.

"Well, I woke up anyway, and…wait," As he replayed their short conversation in his head, Legosi noticed a detail that had previously passed him over, "'Coming in?' When did you leave?"

"Uh, I…" Good job, idiot. Now think of something so you can get out of here, "…I don't know, like, one maybe? I didn't see the time when I left," stated Kachi, desperately wanting to change the topic.

"What time is it now?" asked Legosi in return.

Kachi shrugged, "I don't know, check. I didn't bring my phone with me."

Legosi turned his gaze to the floor, scanning it for any trace of his phone after failing to find it in his pockets. A moment later, he spotted the device tucked away near the computer desk. He slowly, but surely made his way down to pick it up. Pressing the wake button, the lock screen flashed him the time.

His eyes widened, surprised by what the clock read to him, "Nine-thirty? Why are you up so early?" said Legosi, annoyance clear in his voice.

Kachi folded his arms; his patience was wearing thin, "What's with all the questions?" he spat, a small piece of his frustration escaping him.

Shocked by his outburst, Legosi pulled away from Kachi's gaze. He placed his phone down on the desk's surface, "Woah, sorry I asked, I guess," he stated softly.

Kachi inhaled sharply, realizing his mistake, "No, no, it's fine, I-" A frustrated groan left the canine, "I didn't sleep well last night. I'm tired, okay? S-Sorry for shouting…" he explained, his voice softening as he spoke.

Legosi sighed, "It's alright. I didn't exactly sleep the best either," he began, glancing briefly toward the floor, "I found it a bit warm in here," he added.

Kachi's face flushed red. Legosi was in the room when he and Dana were on top of one another, could it have been from them? Kachi didn't even want the answer, "Uh, yeah, so did I. That's why I left," he stated, an awkward smile spread across his face, "Anyway, I'll just go shower real quick and then it's all yours, okay?" he concluded.

The wolf shrugged, "Sure thing…one more question though."

Kachi's ears fell flat, "Yes?" he replied, not too impressed.

"Why were you up so early? You never answered me. You don't normally get up until around noon."

Kachi rolled his eyes as he shook his head and glanced toward the open door, "I said I couldn't sleep, and it persisted even after I left. Got maybe four hours total. Will that be all?" asked Kachi, kneeling once again to pick up his bag.

A moment passed before Legosi shook his head, "No, but I'm gonna go get my bag, I think I left it at the door."

As Legosi finished his sentence, he reached for his crutches and began heading toward the door. Kachi had done so as well, and when they reached the doorway, neither of them bothered to stop and allow the other to pass through, causing them to run into each other.

Since he saw him in the room, one of the first things the wolf observed was the absence of Kachi's shirt. He didn't question it; he sometimes slept shirtless as well. Though, due to their sudden close proximity, the shirt wasn't what was puzzling him; it was the canine's scent.

Legosi stared at him from the corner of his eye, unsure of what to say, or whether to say anything at all. In his silence, Kachi turned his head to the left to catch the wolf. His eyes narrowed; an icy glare being shot in his direction.

"Something on your mind?" asked Kachi in an accusatory tone.

Legosi quickly peeled his gaze away from the canine, instead staring into the hallway in front of him. A second passed before he spoke up, "Can I ask another question?"

"No," replied Kachi almost instantly.

"Oh," stated Legosi quietly in perhaps the most awkward exchange in recent memory.

Neither canine moved from the doorway, only increasing the awkwardness. Kachi looked away from Legosi, looking up to the hallway's ceiling. Another moment passed before Kachi huffed, "Fine, what was it?"

Now on the spot, Legosi was unsure if he could even speak. Still, he managed to get the words out, "Where did your shirt go?" he asked quickly.

"It was hot, so I took it off," Kachi replied.

Looking into the wolf's eyes, Kachi knew that Legosi didn't believe him for a second. Under normal circumstances, he would have been embarrassed, but at that point he just wanted the conversation to be over.

Another few seconds passed with neither canine saying a word. Kachi was still staring in the wolf's direction and he was still staring at the floor in front of him. Finally, Legosi decided it was time to just cut it there, "Enjoy your shower," he said.

"Go get your bag," Kachi added quickly, backing up to allow the wolf through.

Legosi nodded as he left the room. Kachi followed close behind, stopping in the hallway and watching the wolf walk away from him. As he neared the end of the hallway, he heard a deep inhale followed by a groan as he rounded the corner. Kachi shook his head as he retreated to the second bedroom.

Upon his return, he placed the bag down on the bed. He had no troubles getting the bag open; he was surprised it hadn't ripped. He dug through the piles of clothes, fetching himself an outfit piece by piece and placing it nicely next to the bag. From the side pocket, he produced his phone, placing it on top of the small pile of clothes.

Once he collected his clean clothes, on his way toward the washroom, Kachi made a point to grab his shirt, as well as his towel from the middle of the room. He knelt, grabbing each one where he was certain there would be nothing there, before making his way out of the bedroom, down the hall a few feet toward the washroom, and closing the door behind him with his foot.

Kachi placed his clean outfit down on the vanity before he turned to the washing machine across from it. He opened the door, tossing both the towel and the shirt into it. He then returned to the vanity. Thankfully, he'd already placed his toothbrush, among other things, in the washroom when he arrived.

While the canine brushed his teeth, he was forced to stare at himself in the mirror. It's been a while since he'd actually gotten a good look at his body in the mirror, and with one-hundred percent certainty, Kachi knew he still didn't like to see it.

It bothered him to no end. He used to question where his toned build came from; he never played many sports, nor did he make much effort to eat right or exercise. After learning he was half wolf however, it made a little more sense.

Wolves were naturally athletic, but it was offset in nature by a slow metabolism, meaning they'd have to keep active to stay that way. Foxes, on the other hand, were naturally thin thanks to their high metabolisms. It was a perfect storm. Thanks to his fox genes, he was athletic and thin, all with minimal effort.

Looking down to his forearms, he noticed that the cuts he'd made were still visible. Seeing them brought Kachi back briefly to the tail-end of the previous night, where he'd tried and failed to hurt himself again. Once he finished brushing, the canine stared himself in the eye, a scowl on his face.

He pulled himself away from the vanity, turning around and putting his arm around the shower curtain. He felt around for the tap for a few seconds before he was finally able to grip it, the cold metal sending little shivers up his arm. He twisted it, feeling the water for a second before turning the showerhead on.

He quickly stripped from his sweatpants, tossing them into the open washing machine as well. After a deep breath, Kachi stepped into the tub, the warm water forcing out any cold that was trapped within his body. He exhaled softly, running his hands through his damp fur.

His next order of business was to wash himself. Looking around the shower, he noticed a distinct lack of variety in the products his father used. He shrugged, figuring it was only fair considering he lived on his own.

Kachi poured a generous amount of soap into his hand, rubbing them together before lathering himself up very well. He scrubbed with intensity, hoping to remove any trace of undesirable scents from his body.

After about a minute, he decided it was time to rinse himself off. He stepped under the showerhead, allowing the water to cascade over him once again. He closed his eyes as he enjoyed its warmth, a weak smile forming on his face.

Good things, however, don't last. Moments later, the young canine's mind was inundated with memories of the night previous. Almost as quickly as it appeared, the smile dissipated, turning into a scowl as he forced his eyes open. In the short time they'd been closed, his heartrate had quickened considerably, as did his breathing.

Thankfully, the rhythm of the water hitting the tub was there to bring Kachi back down. He stared blankly at the shower wall as his body steadied itself. Once he was back to his senses, Kachi no longer felt clean. Though he'd just washed, a clammy feeling had settled beneath his fur, beneath his skin even.

Kachi reached for the bottle of soap once again, pouring a larger amount into his hand this time. He washed himself thoroughly once more, making sure he'd gotten every part of him. He then returned under the showerhead, making a point this time to keep his eyes open.

With all the soap gone for the second time, Kachi still didn't feel clean. His brows folded as he reached for the soap bottle a third time, repeating the entire process again. After three washes back-to-back, the canine was still unsatisfied.

Kachi fought the urge to continue. After three straight washes, he knew any more would begin to damage his fur; something he didn't want. Kachi reached for the tap, cutting off the water. The room fell silent, save for the tub draining and the soft hum of the fan above. Though he knew he was physically clean, he couldn't help but feel a little gross on the inside.

As he drew the shower curtain, a low growl escaped his lips. He reached for his towel, gripping it with more force than necessary. As he patted himself down with it, he caught a distorted glimpse of himself in the foggy mirror across from the bathtub. All that could be made out was the black of his fur, and the blue of his eyes.

He was sick of it. It had been less than twenty-four hours, hell, less than twelve hours, and he was already sick of it. Sick of feeling disgusting because of what happened. He wished it could all just disappear, but as long as he and Dana didn't speak about it, self-hating he would remain. The issue was between himself and Dana. No one else, meaning that it should be simple to resolve, right?

You have to talk to him; you just have to. You know what'll happen if you don't. If I don't tackle this and put it down as soon as possible, how long will it be until it's another one of those things running through your mind when…when you…

Instinctively, Kachi glanced down to his forearms, the scars even more visible now that the fur was damp. Widthwise marks, four per arm, stared him straight in the face. All Kachi could do was scowl and pull his eyes away.

Ugh. Calm down, you freak. Just talk it out…It'll all be okay soon.

Kachi continued to dry himself off in silence, keeping his mind occupied by counting the number of tiles on the floor as he avoided looking in the mirror and at his arms. Once he was finished drying himself off and getting dressed, he'd counted forty-three. He hung his wet towel on the back of the door before leaving the room, the cold exterior air sending shivers down his spine.

He crossed into the living room, the first thing hitting him being the sound of the television. As he got closer, he saw Legosi sitting on one of the couches, his leg propped up on the coffee table and his backpack in his lap. Kachi scanned the rest of the room, seeing no one else there besides the wolf.

"Where's Dana?" Kachi asked suddenly, startling Legosi and causing him to jump.

Legosi turned his head to look over the back of the couch. Standing behind it was Kachi, showered and dressed. His arms were folded over his chest and he wore a confused expression on his face. Legosi glanced back toward the TV, "Don't know," he stated.

Kachi sighed. He then made his way around the coffee table, sitting down next to Legosi and putting his legs up as well. He rested his hands behind his head, his frustration growing, "Well, this isn't a very big apartment, so if he's not out here, then he's not here at all," he ranted.

Legosi looked toward Kachi, "So, he just left?" he asked.

Kachi rolled his eyes with a huff, "Seems like it…you didn't happen to hear anything, right? Anything at all?" he pleaded, his expression softening slightly.

Legosi's ears fell flat as he shook his head, "Sorry, no," he dejected.

A groan left Kachi's lips as he turned his head to the side, away from Legosi. He clasped his hands together over his waist, staring at the rug beneath the coffee table, "Great. So, that means he left sometime between one and nine this morning; he could be anywhere at this point."

As the silence between the two canines lengthened, Legosi turned his gaze back toward the TV. The show on wasn't very interesting, but when Legosi located the remote for the receiver, he'd already been sitting for a few minutes and didn't feel like getting up to fetch it.

On occasion, the wolf would sneak glances at Kachi. With each one, he looked more and more frustrated. His left ear stood on end; he swore he could hear a faint growl coming from the canine. As he turned his head to look, Kachi moved suddenly, causing Legosi to retreat.

Kachi shoved his hand into his pocket, pulling out his phone, "Fuck it, I'm calling him," he said, voice filled with anger.

He spoke entirely with spite and vitriol. As he sifted through his contacts, Kachi began to wonder what he'd do should the labradoodle actually pick up. He didn't want Legosi knowing about what happened, especially since he was right there on the floor the whole time.

As the phone rang, he began to feel jittery. The droning of the dial tone burrowed into his mind. Ten. Fifteen. Twenty seconds passed. A realization, perhaps the gravest of all, had fallen upon him. He did his best to keep a straight face.

In engaging with Dana the way he did, there was no other way to put it. He'd had cheated on Pina. Simple as. Kachi resisted the urge to react in any way; Legosi was still watching him. The canine added it to the pile of things to deal with later as he continued to wait for anything at the other end of the line.

The ringing stopped. Finally, an answer. Hey! Sorry I can't pick up right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you! Even over the phone, Dana's sickly-sweet voice sent shivers throughout him. Kachi hung up, swiftly redialing his number.

The phone rang again, but only for a few seconds. Dana's voicemail message began to play, but it was cut off immediately by Kachi hanging up. He tossed his phone haphazardly onto the coffee table, a loud thud echoing throughout the living room. A frustrated groan left the canine.

Sent me straight to voicemail. Karma for yesterday? Sure, but this is much more serious than a bottle of medication…speaking of, I still need to do that…

"Fantastic…" said Kachi sarcastically, "…You fucking moron…" he muttered under his breath. "He could be anywhere in Sapporo," he stated, lifting a hand to his forehead, feeling his headache returning.

Legosi was completely unsure of what to say. To him, he was witnessing a friend deteriorate from the inside out and it was difficult to watch. The way he spoke, the venom in his words; something happened, but what?

He took a short breath in, preparing for any future outburst the canine had, "I-I don't mean to be insensitive…but why are you so upset?" he asked softly, bracing himself.

"I-" Kachi began. He stopped himself dead. He leaned back, pinching the bridge of his muzzle. A slow, frustrated sigh escaped him; he'd almost let it slip, "No. I can't tell you. It's between us, and that's how it needs to stay," he said. Kachi tilted his head forward before looking over to the wolf, an expression of genuine hurt across his face, "You can respect that, can't you?"

Legosi glanced around the room for a moment, processing the canine's words. He wanted to press the matter further, and normally, he would. The only thing keeping him was the phrase 'it's between us.' He was referring to himself and Dana, and last he remembered, they'd been friends much longer than he and Kachi had.

He knew Kachi well enough to know that he trusted him, but if it was something concerning his oldest friend, then Legosi felt he had his hands tied. He'd just have to let it go, "Sure," he said, a hint of uncertainty in his voice, "it beats not knowing at all. Just…don't beat yourself up over whatever it is," he concluded.

Kachi looked over to Legosi, surprised by his answer. He wasn't prepared for the wolf to be so understanding. He lifted a hand to his neck, a scoff leaving him as he shook his head. A small smile had formed on his face.

Legosi returned the smile as he sat up. He reached over the couch's armrest, gripping both crutches in his right hand. Using them for leverage, he pulled himself up from the couch, "Uh, well, I'm gonna go shower," he stated. He took a few steps before stopping behind the couch and glancing back toward the canine still seated "but if I had to guess where Dana went, I'd say he probably went home."

Kachi tilted his head, "Really? Nevers Road is pretty far from here, it'd take him hours to walk back," he argued.

Legosi shrugged, "Not impossible. I mean, he doesn't have an injured leg," Legosi stated, looking downward briefly.

"Still, that's, like, three hours of walking. On top of that, it was freezing last night. No way he walked," said Kachi with conviction.

Legosi scrambled for something else to say, "Maybe he got a ride?" he suggested.

Kachi lifted a hand to his chin, "I guess…he does have the cash for a cab…"

Legosi nodded, "Right, so…are you gonna go after him?" he asked.

Kachi shot the wolf a confused glare, causing him to wonder if he'd said anything wrong, "What? No. As much as I'd like to, I can't. I don't have the money for a cab, and even if I were to walk, and he turns out not to be there, I have to walk all the way back…that's still the case even if he is there," he explained, looking off into a corner.

Legosi huffed, "Not exactly optimal, then."

Kachi shook his head, "Not one bit…" Kachi dejected.

"So, what's happening then?"

Defeated, Kachi sank into the couch, "Nothing. I'll just…have to wait it out. Maybe after Rexmas when Dad's not so busy he can take me up, since I doubt Dana's gonna answer me before then…" he continued, his voice trailing off.

Both canines remained silent, neither one able to think of what to say next. The only sounds in the apartment came from the TV, which was playing on such a low volume it almost didn't matter. Kachi stared into the screen, allowing the colors to flash into his eyes as he thought.

I can do that, right? I can keep it together until then…right?

"Uh, I'm gonna…" Legosi began, pulling Kachi away from the screen.

He saw Legosi motion toward the hallway with his head. Picking up on his hint, Kachi inhaled sharply, "Oh, right. Yeah, go ahead."

With that, Legosi nodded before turning toward the hallway and setting a course for the washroom. Kachi noticed that the wolf was wearing his backpack, which amused him a little bit; he didn't exactly have any free hands to carry it with.

He watched as Legosi disappeared completely from view. Seconds later, he heard a door close, and he returned to staring blankly at the wall in front of him. He bounced his leg restlessly on the floor as he gently scratched at the couch's fabric, and as he heard the shower begin to run, he allowed his head to tilt backward.

He began counting the number of shadows created by the popcorn ceiling, which at first, was no easy task. What he wouldn't give for the tiles again. Counting shadows wasn't stimulating him the same way the tiles did, and as he began to lose focus, his thoughts soon came to the front of his mind.

God, what a fucking mess. Why did this have to happen? Why did you do this? Why did you use me…?

Kachi shot up from his seat on the couch as he felt his arms tense up. He pulled them close to his chest, resting a closed fist over his mouth. He walked around the coffee table and began to pace back and forth in front of the TV, walking the entire length of the living room. He stared with a scowl at nothing in particular; one more moment and he would have sent a fist into the wall with how frustrated he felt.

I let it happen. I even reciprocated. I-I even encouraged him! I gave him no indication that I wasn't into it. Hell, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at the time…Ugh, calm down! Stop! Focus… What happened…

You and Dana hooked up. Then, since you were so touch starved, you couldn't help yourself and gave in to your desires. That fantasy you had and your hookup with Dana are connected, not just chronologically, but emotionally. You needed release and you went for it. Kachi grimaced. You're disgusting.

Really, Kachi felt he only had himself to blame. No matter how many times he tried to rearrange things, or how many different scenarios played out in his head, the only ones that ended without the hookup happening were the ones where Kachi became wise to Dana's desires and shut him down on the spot.

It's all your fault…

As he felt tears well in his eyes, his most recent revelation filled his mind. It was no longer a matter of hooking up with Dana. In his inaction to stop it, and with his reciprocity toward it, his entire relationship with the one he'd fantasized about was on the line.

Then, there's Pina…he completely slipped your mind, huh? Right up until Dana went for my neck, just like you did to him. Welp, you just fucked your entire relationship, didn't you? You can try and keep it from him all you want, but that'll just make it even worse once he invariably finds out. That's not to mention the guilt getting worse with every passing day…

It was the worst time to have such a thought, such an epiphany. In his fretting about losing the only one he's been in a relationship with, Kachi realized that he did love Pina. Genuinely. No longer was it a question of whether his carnal instincts were disguising themselves. Instead, it was replaced by a question of if he really deserved to after what he'd done.

Yeah, you really fucked up. Worst of all, you can't even tell him now. I can't just call him up and be like 'hey, yeah, I cheated on you. I-I have to wait to tell him in person. Until then? Well, just keep yourself in one piece. Until you can talk to Dana, at least, you're gonna have to deal with both of these things at once.

Kachi's pacing stopped. The frustration within him was beginning to subside, replaced by the all-too-familiar melancholy he felt so often.

All you have to do is hold it together, Kachi. You can do that, right?

Kachi returned to the couch, a dull ache forming in his chest. He found himself staring at the TV again, and as it flashed and flickered images and colors in his direction, the pain only intensified as well as spread into his throat. There it was again.

By instinct at that point, Kachi glanced downward toward his arms, the scars plainly visible through the fur, at least to him. He was surprised that nobody had caught him yet; he barely made an effort to hide them. Did that mean something? Maybe, but Kachi was in no mood to think about that.

The canine felt his heartrate pick up. His breaths became much shakier, and the longer he looked down at his arms, the more they ached for pain, for release. Kachi stared, nearly straight-faced; there were no tears this time.

It doesn't matter how you try to rationalize it…your blood is still poisoned…and it needs to be released…

Kachi clenched his jaw as he lifted his left hand to his right forearm. His breathing became much deeper as he felt his knife-like claws touch his skin. He squeezed his arm with force, all five of his claws piercing the skin, causing Kachi to inhale sharply.

After a few seconds, Kachi collected himself, preparing for the cuts, but as he was about to draw blood, the sound of a door opening and closing was heard from down the hall; Legosi had finished his shower.

Kachi growled softly, pulling his claws from his arm. He gave the small wounds he'd made a quick once-over. They weren't too large, and they wouldn't leak blood as his cuts did, meaning that he'd be fine. Still, it didn't stop his frustration from returning. He'd been so lost within his own mind he didn't hear the water stop running.

As footsteps drew nearer, Kachi rested his arms upon his legs. A few seconds later, Legosi limped into view, "Hey," he said casually.

Not wanting to have to explain himself should Legosi ask, Kachi made quick work of changing the subject, "You're walking on your own?" he asked, noticing the crutches were missing.

Legosi nodded, "Yeah, Still hurts a bit, but I figured if I could put weight on it, I can walk. The cut's healing nicely," he commented.

Kachi chuckled, getting up from his spot on the couch, "I would have been out for at least a week. Do wolves heal fast or something?" he asked, impressed.

The wolf shrugged, "Somewhat, but you're half wolf, so your week would turn into a couple weeks for others," he explained.

"I guess…I'll have to ask Dad," he replied. As he stepped closer to the middle of the room, Kachi felt his stomach rumble. He stopped himself, trying to remember when it was he ate last. He glanced over to Legosi, who'd clearly heard the noise, "Hey, you hungry?"

"Sure, I could eat," stated the wolf.

"Sweet. Hows about this: I'll cook us some eggs," Kachi continued.

Hearing the word, Legosi's eyes went wide, "Sounds good to me!"

Kachi chuckled as he entered the kitchen. Crossing the space, he arrived in front of the fridge. Right where he'd expect it to be, a carton of eggs was found. He removed it from its home, placing it on the nearby countertop, "It's been a while since I've had eggs…how do you like 'em?" he asked.

"Doesn't matter to me," Legosi stated.

Kachi shrugged, fetching a pan from one of the cupboards and placing it on the cooktop, "Alright then, fried it is."


~A Quick Author's Note~

Thanks for reading.