After they'd cleaned up the mess Lance had gotten himself into with Nyma that had almost ended up with bounty hunters getting away with the Blue Lion, Shiro told Lance come to his room. Keith didn't envy him. Shiro rarely raised his voice. He never had to. When he lectured you the subtle disappointment in his voice was so much worse than a screaming fit. Shiro had expected things from you and you'd messed up.
When Keith later went to look for Lance, Shiro told him he'd assigned Lance with some extra training to make sure the lesson stuck. He found Lance in shooting range and found him to be a surprisingly good shot. He didn't waver or hesitate when pulling the trigger, and the bullet always found the bull's eye. Lance didn't notice he was being watched until he stopped to change the magazine.
"If you came to chew me up, don't. Just don't. Unless you're happy with Shiro's and Allura's sloppy seconds." Lance said.
Keith groaned in annoyance. How did Lance always find a way to get under his skin?
"Can't you take anything seriously?"
"Sweetheart, I'm always serious." Lance said and took aim.
Keith lost it. He couldn't help it. There had been too many close calls in the past few days. He grabbed Lance and picked him up. Too easily. Lance was taller than him and surprisingly muscular for such a lanky guy. Just dragging him up like that shouldn't have been possible. For a human anyway but he was too angry to care.
"Goddamn it, Lance! You…!"
There was a flash of cold anger on Lance's face that transformed him into something terrifying.
"I, what?! What, Keith?! What?! I don't need you to tell me that I screwed up! That we almost lost Blue because of me! I get it!"
Lance wasn't jut angry but close to tears too and Keith felt the rage leave him. Without it he was just tired. He'd stayed up for too long. Been on the edge too much. Fought too hard. He let go of Lance and his hands fell weakly on his side.
"… I'm sorry. I… I'll leave you to it." Keith said.
Lance didn't answer and just sullenly stared at the floor. Keith was almost out of the door when…
"… wait."
When he turned back the usual bravado Lance carried himself with was gone. He just looked sad and lost. Even Keith could tell something else was wrong than just being made look like a fool by a second-rate bounty hunter.
"… I'm listening." Keith said.
Lance couldn't look him in the eyes and gazed at everything in the room except at him.
"When that crystal blew up… I could've died. I… felt my back burn and… tear. When I passed out… I wasn't sure if I'd wake up… or how much of me would be left."
Finally, Lance could look him in the eyes, and he looked just so… so scared.
"This is war. I know Shiro tries not to call it that but… that's what it is. This is war and we could die. At any time."
Keith couldn't think of anything to say… except one thing.
"Why… didn't you tell us? Shiro… you could have talked to Shiro."
Lance rolled his eyes.
"Oh yeah. Talk to Shiro. Tell the man who survived over a year with the Galra that one explosion had me pissing my pants. You can't tell a hero you're afraid."
Keith fell quiet. Shiro was a hero? Yes. Yes, he was but… who listened to a hero's problems and worries? Shiro had held it all together so well that none of them had wondered if there was something wrong. Something he might have to get off his chest. They all just tried to live up to the image they had of Shiro and none of them had stopped to think could even Shiro live up to it.
"If you're so afraid… we could find another paladin."
Lance laughed mirthlessly.
"I say Vol. You say…?"
Keith stared at him confused. He still hadn't gotten that.
I say… Voltron?" Keith suggested.
"You're no fun. I say Vol. You say Tron. The point is, we are Voltron. The only thing that stands against Zarkon. If one of us ran, that would be that. People would lose what little hope they had."
"But if you're so afraid…"
"Show me a man who's not afraid and I'll show you a liar. I'll just have to… fake it till I make it. We are what we pretend to be." Lance said.
People were what they pretended to be? Keith nodded. He liked that.
"But you're right. I am afraid. If I could die tomorrow, why not have fun today? And when Nyma started giving me the old bedroom eyes, what was I supposed to do? Take a cold shower?"
"You should have still been more careful. Even Hunk knew something was off." Keith said.
"Hindsight is 20/20. I just thought my roguish charm and sinewy body had done it again."
Keith snorted. No one could infuriate him like Lance, but few people could make him laugh like him.
"You know… Nyma was an alien. So, she… wasn't even necessarily a she." Keith said.
"As captain Kirk said, what happens in space, stays in space. Besides, I've never been terribly particle about those details. If it's pretty and willing, I'm game."
"I think we call that not having standards." Keith said.
Lance gasped in feigned insult.
"I have standards. I have all the standards. You don't see me putting the moves on Pidge. I don't know what my cutoff date is, but fourteen is way below it."
"She has to be eighteen or very close to it to attend a military academy." Keith said.
"She had us all convinced that she was a he. Who knows what else she tricked us about? I'm not taking any chance with that shit." Lance said and rubbed his pointed chin: "I'm running low on options on the castle. I'm starting to suspect that Allura isn't all that into me."
"No. What gave you that idea?" Keith said.
Lance smirked at him.
"Was that a joke? There might be hope for you yet. I guess that just leaves you."
Keith rubbed his eyes in exasperation… and felt his cheeks warm up.
"I'm flattered but…"
Lance just laughed.
"That was a joke. Or was it? Figure it out before some weirdly hot alien steals me away." Lance said and changed the magazine in the rifle: "I'd love to see how the Red Lion flies."
"They're not for joyrides."
"Not with that attitude. You should have some fun today. We might be dead tomorrow. Get hammered. Do something you regret in the morning. It's better to regret thing you did than things you didn't." Lance said.
"No. It's not."
"You sure?" Lance said.
Keith just sighed and looked at the targets.
"You're a good shot."
"Yay. More compliments. I could get used to those." Lance said.
"But it's not a good idea to over-specialize. How's your swordsmanship?"
"Are you asking me out on a date?"
Keith counted to ten.
"Lance… why do you have to make everything so difficult for me?"
"Maybe I like the way you look when you blush?" Lance said and the rifle transformed into its Bayard form: "Fine. Sword fighting. Show me what you got."
"Gladly. Let's see how I like you looking blue and purple."
"I like where this is going. Let's just say that I kept those handcuffs Nyma left me with."
The match wasn't the one-sided beatdown Keith had thought. Lance was in good shape and he had the basics down. It was nothing Keith couldn't have handled but he couldn't bring himself to be as vicious as usual. And he couldn't stop smirking. When Lance was finally too tired… and blue and purple to go on, they called it a night.
After a quick shower, Keith headed to his room… and then changed his mind and knocked on Shiro's door. He was still up as always. Did he ever sleep?
"Keith? Is something wrong?"
"I… talked with Lance and…"
"Oh?" Shiro said sounding awkward: "Hope I wasn't too hard on him."
"No. It's just… are you alright? I… don't think anyone really asked you that. After everything you went through with the Galra. If you ever need to talk about it, you know we're here for you. Right?"
Shiro was quiet for a while and then smiled.
"I know. Thank you, Keith."
Back in his room, Keith took out the Galra blade. People were what they pretended to be? Lance could be surprisingly deep. If people really were the masks they wore, then he'd pretend to be… Keith. Paladin of the Red Lion. Then that would be who he was. People were what they pretended to be after all.
