By her own rough approximations, Ahsoka determined that the council meeting had gone on for just over 2 millennia before Master Yoda had called for the other council members to vacate the room. Her own Master remained steadfast at her side, his tall shadow a stark contrast against hers and Master Yoda's in the Coruscant sunset. But eventually, he too was directed out of the chambers. His facade of stubborn calm faltered briefly but he obeyed the order, leaving her alone with the little green lifeform.
This was the exact moment she'd been dreading since their arrival on Coruscant. She knew that was the reason the chamber was now empty. Grandmaster Yoda could sense it within her. Easily. Still, she knew what she had to do and knew that nothing was going to stop her from making sure it was done properly.
"Padawan Tano. Great burden, you have carried for Master Piell, hrm?" He asked, motioning for her to sit down. She obliged, stiff legs folding underneath her in a sort of mediative position.
"Yes, Master," she replied.
"Successful, your mission was," he affirmed, leading her across well trodden ground.
"Concern, I sense in you," he continued, closing his eyes and reaching out. "Guilt, shame."
"Yes, Master…" she responded again, the steel in her voice beginning to wane.
Master Yoda stepped down from his council seat and waddled over to her, placing a small green claw on her shoulder. The effect grounded her immediately as she looked into his ancient eyes.
"Disobedient, you may have been. Failed him, you did not."
The words soothed her nerves and she relaxed into the ground. To the most, Master Yoda was the Republic's most powerful warrior. But to the Jedi, he was their pillar; their compass. His boundless compassion within the force was too often forgotten for his physical skills. Aside from Anakin, Plo Koon and even Padme, Master Yoda was the only other being who could read her emotions effortlessly. She got the feeling that Obi Wan could too, but he'd never said anything to her about it. In a way, she respected the trust he had that whatever was on her mind, she would work it out in her own time. However, this particular mission had been almost too much for even her to handle the aftermath alone.
Ahsoka nodded her response, taking a deep breath before speaking her next words carefully.
"Master Yoda, I need to know that the information will be revealed to no one but the Jedi Council."
The old Master took a deep breath, a clawed hand holding up his chin in reflection. The echoes of Evan Piell's final words resonated in the force around them.
"To the Republic, the Council's duty is," he said softly. "Control the will of the Chancellor, we cannot."
Ahsoka levelled her head steadier, stubborn and unmoving. It wasn't that she didn't like the Chancellor. Sure, she was fairly certain that he wasn't a fan of hers considering how many times she'd had to wait outside his office as he talked alone with Anakin. But by all accounts and as she knew from her friends, he was a good man.
This wasn't about that.
This was about honouring a Jedi Master's dying wish; a final order that she intended to follow down to the letter.
"I understand that, Master. But I can't reveal the information unless I'm certain that it stays here," she said.
Master Yoda nodded slowly and in deep thought. He almost seemed distracted, his eyes glossy and far away as if he were on the other end of another conversation entirely. Then something sparked in him. His small body tensed for a moment and then relaxed just as quickly. Turning back to face her, there was a familiar mischievous twinkle in his gaze.
"Safe, the information will be," he agreed, smiling with a little bounce of his head. "A risk to the Chancellor, this knowledge is, hrm?"
Ahsoka's chest felt lighter as the Jedi Master winked at her through the force.
"Firmly advise this, the council will. A grave matter of Republic security, it is."
After a stunned silence, Ahsoka released the tension from her gut into the force as she bowed low to the ground.
"Thank you, Master Yoda."
Ahsoka quickly buried the memory as soon as it surfaced, hoping that her mental shields had improved since then. By her best guess, she assumed it had been over two rotations since the last time she'd seen Anakin or Obi Wan and the time spent by herself was quickly grating on her nerves. She'd never felt more uncomfortable to be left alone with her thoughts than she was suspended in that cell. They ran wild and unrestrained, mulling over the familiar voices she's heard when she decided to head back to the village. In hindsight, it would've been a safe bet to assume that the voices she'd heard bore her ill intent. Ahsoka couldn't quite accept that. She'd felt truly at peace, like she'd made the right decision. No, those voices weren't malicious.
If she could equate the experience to anything, it had felt like she was once again in the presence of the Daughter from Mortis.
Mortis.
The Father's last words to Anakin.
Beware your heart.
The fact that her master was potentially the most important force user in the galaxy was something she used to use to boost her ego. Ahsoka was chosen to be the "Chosen One's" apprentice. That had to mean that she was special too. But after years of war, she had left that train of thought behind. He was just Anakin Skywalker; the mechanic, the reckless hero with well hidden fears. Knowing that he'll have such a big role to play in the fate of the galaxy was no longer exciting; it was terrifying. She'd seen what he was capable of, both the good and the bad. He'd never take it as a compliment, but the number one reason that Anakin Skywalker was a good leader was because he lead with his heart.
So if that was the one thing he was warned about…
Unnerved by the implications of that particular line of logic, Ahsoka fiddled with the locks on her restraints for the millionth time to the same lack of success. But she knew her own discomfort was merely a reflection of what she felt from the other two. Sometimes she heard a voice in her ear, demanding information. Other times, her muscles would gently spasm accompanied by a whining in her brain as she lived the whiplash of their pain through the force.
Anakin and Obi Wan's telegraphed experiences were amplified by the silence. She knew that they were hurting and the guilt collected itself in tight pit in her chest. There was a chance it would stop if she told them what they wanted to hear. But she knew Anakin. She knew Obi Wan. She even knew her troops. They'd been prepared to suffer far worse to protect Coruscant and they were willing to keep holding out until the tide changed in their favour. She would just have to honour their sacrifices and do the same.
Sadly, this suddenly became a far more difficult task when she spotted her least favourite ex-Jedi lurking outside of her cell.
Ahsoka clamped her mouth tightly, not trusting herself to holler obscenities at the boy without compromising her mental focus.
With his hands neatly behind his back, Haki plugged in the newest code and the buzz of the ray shield slipped away. He marched into the room, walking forward until he was face to face with her. His pale yellow skin appeared pink in the red light and his eyes locked onto hers as if trying to bypass their scrutiny and see straight into her brain. Ahsoka snarled, meeting his gaze with as much ferocity as she could, tapping into her Shilli heritage as a hunter.
The sensation of him testing the walls of her mind was a new experience for her. It felt like he was mentally inspecting it for cracks. Ahsoka reverted to her breathing exercises, hearing nothing but her Master's teachings in her head. One by one, she began shutting out every other sensation in the room around her until her only focus was on building the wall of mental repulsion. Haki squinted, tilting his head in amusement. She could sense him step away from her mind.
"Yes, you are a lot like your Master, aren't you?" He said quietly.
The fact that he'd been able to pick up her surface trains of thought so easily took her by surprise. Without hesitating, Haki's presence shoved back against her shields, violently kicking down the doorway to her deeper levels of thought. He was inside now. She could feel it.
"Get out," she muttered dangerously.
In the physical world, she noticed him back up, looking far more comfortable from his new vantage point into her thoughts. Then he began pacing around her, adding to the external sensory environment that she was desperately trying to block out.
"But it's far more interesting in here," he said. "I can see you better now."
"Do you see me busting outta here and wiping that stupid look off your face? Because I that's what I'm seeing right now," she bit back, picturing the scene openly as she continued to lock up every scrap of memory to do with the citadel mission.
He changed the direction of his pacing.
"No, actually I see blue and white flowers," he said, closing his eyes to picture it. "I'm watching them burst into flames. They're calling for… Motherbird?"
Ahsoka's confusion turned to a sickening heartache as she felt Haki dig up her pain. It was the first command she'd ever been given. They fell over Ryloth. The Squadron she'd lead to their deaths.
"It was your fault, wasn't it?" He asked. The inkling of sympathy lacing his voice aggravated her all the more. "You failed them."
"Shut up," she hissed, doubling her efforts to find his presence and throw him out.
"It's alright, Padawan. Their lives shouldn't have been your responsibility. That decision was on the Jedi council. Not you."
Her fists clenched and unclenched as her anger grew. "No it wasn't, their lives were on me. I don't blame others for my mistakes. I own up to them…unlike you."
With that jab, he halted his pacing. He grit his teeth. Then, she felt him plunder further into her memories and she flinched, trying her best to redirect his efforts. He was now stiff in the room, his mental escapades becoming more acute, more aggressive.
"I see a youngling… Kahlifa," he arrived at the name with a sigh. "Tell me, was her death on you or the Jedi council?"
Images of a filthy jungle planet and a pale faced youngling pierced the surface of Ahsoka's mind. She could hear the blood curdling war cries of Trandoshan hunters and the fragile dying breaths of her friend who didn't make it. The hurt of the memory cystallised, feeling as fresh as when she had lived it. Ahsoka stumbled over her next retort.
"Don't you dare say her name…" she said, wincing with the effort of holding him at bay.
"She told you to take care of the others, but that shouldn't have been your responsibility either," he insisted. "The council abandoned them just like they abandoned me and just like they'll abandon you someday."
"I said shut up!" Ahsoka cried out, more as a reflex than a rebuttal.
"You'll continue believe that you're one of them, right up until the day they leave you for dead! That's what happened to me and that's exactly what happened to Kahlifa-"
"You're not her. You're not even half the Jedi she was," Ahsoka grounded out with a clenched jaw.
She felt his muscle contract. His nostrils flared.
"Enough of these distractions. You weren't assigned to the citadel mission, correct?"
Ahsoka nearly burst out laughing. To her immense luck, their spies had faulty intel. The fact of the matter was that Haki was ultimately correct. She hadn't been assigned to the mission; not really.
"No," she said, hoping that her denial would sell the charade.
"Liar," he replied almost before she'd said a word. "So you weren't there. But you knew Master Piell, correct?"
Ahsoka was too exhausted from her mental acrobatics to even think of how to best answer that. Her silence only bought her a few seconds to prepare.
"I'll take that as a yes." As soon as Haki confirmed it, she felt him leap into one last deep dive into her thoughts and memories.
His path was no longer meandering. He was on the hunt now, in search for the mourning of Evan Piell's death. It was the first and hardest memory she'd been forced to bury during the exchange. Ahsoka felt him breeze over all of the hurt and suffering she'd witnessed, all the lives she'd lost. All she could do to stall him, was to surrender her most painful memories and hope that it would overwhelm him before it overwhelmed her.
She offered up the memory of Obi Wan falling from a building as she raced toward him. Made sure that Haki felt her distress the moment she couldn't find his pulse. She threw at him the names of all the troopers she had befriended and subsequently lost during the war, recalling their bright spirits and individuality. Even as Haki persevered, Ahsoka let the memories flow freely, opening the flood gate of her collective experiences.
After finally bumping up against his force signature for the first time, she reevaluated the comparisons she'd drawn from him to Anakin. Haki was one to parade his pain, like his suffering made him more righteous than others. Ahsoka could never see her Master wearing his heartache like a badge of honour. In fact, she knew that he actively hid it, as if he was weaker for having such strong emotions. Upon further inspection of these methodologies, she concluded that neither would work for her. So Ahsoka forged ahead to carve out her own strategy.
Straightening herself, she leaned down into the face of the separatist spy.
"You don't get to play the victim to justify your actions," she said, clear and articulated enough to make her Master's Master proud. Her eyes shot open at him. "No matter what you've experienced, the choices you make are still yours."
Haki visibly flinched as she launched her memories at him.
Padme's arm wrapping around her for reassurance as Ahsoka accompanied her to Alderaan.
The sickening thud as she kicked the Trandoshan Hunter off of a balcony and to his death.
A magnificent castle crashing around her as the Father disappeared, the Son's limp body at his side.
The gentle tone of Anakin's voice as he finally accepted her as his Padawan on Christophis.
Ahsoka threw at him more than just her pain now. She surrendered her triumphs, her happiness, her guilt and her shame. A thousand sights and sounds, both important and intimate bombarded the intruder in her mind.
"What is this…" he said. From the discomfort in his voice, she knew it was working.
"You think you can see me better now?" She launched back. Her experiences were unleashed more freely now. "Think again."
Barriss gripped her hand in the light of their lightsabers, her breathing shallow and ragged.
The smoke and fire inside Kohma's house burning her lungs as she called out her name.
Anakin shaking Tarkin's hand on the Jedi Temple platform on Coruscant.
Her giddy joy at the smile of a young Separatist boy with his mother on Raxus -
"What? Why Bonteri - " This time, Haki's temporary surprise gave Ahsoka the opportunity she'd been waiting for to snap the connection. She unleashed a mental repulse, pushing him back outside the gates of her defences.
The energy of the exchange whipped backwards and Ahsoka felt her body sag with exhaustion, her forehead coated in sweat. Haki collapsed to the floor of the cell, barely managing to catch himself on one knee.
"How…" he wheezed, catching his breath. "How did you know the Bonteri's?"
Too shocked to wonder why he was asking, Ahsoka answered honestly.
"Lux Bonteri is a friend of mine. I met him and his mother on Raxus."
His signature was harder to read with a cloud of exhaustion blocking the way but his body was trembling - from what, she couldn't tell.
"Were you there when she died?"
The accusation hit her like a stone column, trapped under his judgement.
"No. The senator and I were on Coruscant..." her chest collapsed in on itself one more time as Ahsoka felt the usual regrets and 'what ifs' pass through her mind.
"And his father?" He asked quietly. She could've sworn it sounded like a plead.
"I never met him - I only know that he died defending the Argonar Outpost," she responded. "Why does it matter to you?"
Haki clutched his chest with one hand and planted his fist into the ground to help himself stand up. The boy dragged himself out of the room, leaning on the side of the wall for support.
"Nothing," he replied quietly. "I just didn't think you'd know them…"
The young Togrutan man stepped back through the doorway, letting the ray shield fall closed behind him without looking back. The droid manning the cell moved forward, offering him assistance. He waved it off as his com link bleeped with the voice of Count Dooku.
"Phoenix 4, report in with your progress. Or do you require more time with the Padawan?"
"No, I have what I need. Her Master - her concern for him was greater than the others. I'm also led believe that Skywalker was on good terms with Evan Piell's Captain by the end of the mission. That could be a sign that he has what we need."
"What?" Ahsoka wheezed, her weariness making the outburst appear fragile. "No, that's not -"
"Excellent work, Phoenix 4. Meet me at Skywalker's cell. Phoenix 3's success has been limited with Kenobi, even after the more advanced methods. We have some… options for you to consider before the next round of interrogations."
The unsettling optimism in the Count's statements set her mind alight. After all she had done to bar Haki from access to the intel, this was not the end goal she had in mind. But her speech and response times had become so lethargic that she could barely vocalise her distress. Anakin had no information except that she was the one who had what they wanted. And if she knew her master, he would break before he bent.
"Haki…" she called out. "Stop - "
But the boy had already begun his solo march down the corridors of the Separatist vessel.
And once again, Ahsoka was alone.
Haha hello there - it has certainly been a hot damn minute (/couple months), hasn't it? Well I'm here to drop some chapters for you guys, gals and non-binary pals! We got some "WAY OF THE JEDI" chapters coming your way because it's the giving season and I'm nothing if not ready to give you guys more clone wars story goodness! Here's to hoping you have a wonderful day and a warm welcome to all my new readers. It's great to have you on board
