Hi guys!
Like the previous time I remind you that you can read this as a single piece but it's better to read In The Dark first, so Sasuke's mental and emotional state makes more sense.
The 'poisoned Shisui' detail comes from the Itachi Shinden book.
I totally and intentionally quoted myself from VoP at some moment, after all this is my ship haha
More notes in the end.
"I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
I've got to open my eyes to everything" (Evanescence, Bring Me To Life)
It was Shisui.
Even if he had aged, Sasuke could recognize his features: the distinctive shape of his nose and lips, and his curls, despite his hair being much longer.
It was his cousin.
The one his brother had lied about killing, only to show him, in the very end of his time as an Edo Tensei, his real fate. How he had been targeted by Danzo, who coveted his kotoamatsukami so badly that he had poisoned, then mercilessly attacked him. How, knowing that he would die soon, he had given his precious remaining eye to Itachi, before jumping off a cliff.
Seeing the one who used to be so strong and yet so kind to him, unconscious, vulnerable and alone, Sasuke was overwhelmed with a mix of nostalgia, regret and anger.
Having been raised strictly, Sasuke was an obedient child.
Nevertheless, albeit rarely, he did throw little tantrums. Like that one time he really wanted to play with Itachi, who was about to go out and train with their cousin.
Sasuke had naively offered to train with him and Itachi had explained that for the training to be effective he needed to do it from the best, like Shisui.
For the child everything the elder said was absolute truth; that's how Itachi had manipulated him, after all, making him believe that he had killed his own clan to test his strength. At the same time though, it was impossible to believe that someone might be stronger than his big brother.
Later Obito had told him stories about the Uchiha clan, from old traditions and habits to anecdotes about its strongest members. He had also mentioned Shisui as a young prodigy known as The Body Flicker, that made enemies flee on sight, and as the wielder of kotoamatsukami, the strongest doujutsu, that influenced people's minds without them realizing.
It was easy to understand why his brother admired him so much.
Sasuke used his eyes, together with three years of experience with Orochimaru, both as a witness and as a subject of experiments, to figure out how the machines that kept him alive worked.
He was extremely careful, his goal being to wake him up without causing him harm.
He couldn't lose his family again.
First he interrupted the chakra flow from the tubes, then he placed a sort of armchair found in another room, so that upon waking up Shisui wouldn't find himself neither suspended midair nor lying on a table like a specimen.
He had found himself in both positions for Orochimaru. Many times.
Never taking his eyes off him in case he had problems breathing on his own, he pulled him off the tubes and patiently waited.
He was startled when he saw a pair of sharingan eyes that weren't supposed to exist anymore, staring back at him.
The intricate system that had sustained Shisui had provided him nutrients, a minimum amount of chakra, and also, somehow, had safely sent electric impulses to stimulate his muscles and prevent them from atrophy, thus Sasuke expected his body to be as healthy as it could be, given the particular situation.
What he didn't expect was that, despite the long immobility, Shisui sprung forward in a split second, and threw him against the wall, grasping his throat with one hand and with the other pinning his wrist.
His sharingan was spinning crazily but he wasn't using it; he was acting out of pure instinct, rage and fear, like an animal trying to escape from his cage.
"I'll fucking kill you Obito!"
Not having talked in ages his voice was muddy.
"Shisui...it's me...Sasuke..." the boy managed to say.
His words reached the elder after a while; when they did he just looked at the other, trying to understand without loosening his grip.
His sharingan steadied, a sign that he was using it.
He gave a good look at that young man with sunken cheeks and haunted eyes.
That person was once familiar to him, he could tell, he could feel it, but was he telling the truth? And if he was, how could it be that Sasuke had grown up so much? How long had he been there?
"Snap your wrist to give the shuriken spin…" Sasuke continued, "but do it at the last moment or it won't reach the target..."
One time when he was a child tagging along his brother and cousin, Sasuke had obtained their attention by throwing shuriken, something he had had just, something in which he was putting great effort, something in which he wasn't exactly good at yet.
He had wanted to impress his brother so much but the more he was being looked at by him the more he was failing. Shisui had told Itachi to head home then, while he would stay a little longer and practice with the child.
He had said practice, making him feel like a grown up shinobi, and he had given him advice and praised his progress.
He had always been a fast learner.
The secret, he had explained, was in the right timing to move the wrist: if too early the throwing would have not enough power to reach the target, if too late, in case there was an opponent, they would have taken advantage to make their move.
When, the following day, he had shown his new skills to his brother, not only he had praised him, he had also told their father about it.
He had used the exact words Sasuke just delivered.
Those words had been useful to impress Itachi back then, and now they were useful again: Shisui looked in his eyes, remembering and realizing that it wasn't Obito or white Zetsu taking a different shape.
It was Itachi's brother.
The shy child who, when he had first met him, was almost hiding behind Itachi, his big black eyes wide open as he was grabbing his big brother's shirt, until he was told to greet his cousin properly, when he delivered the polite introduction he had been taught for the occasion.
It was Sasuke.
The pure child born after the war, who had given Itachi a reason to smile after having witnessed its horrors.
The hard working child Itachi was worried about, because their father compared them too much which would have meant constantly losing to a genius no matter how precocious, clever and gifted he was.
The innocent child Itachi wanted to protect by keeping him in the dark, because the clan was planning a coup and whatever would have happened that little boy would have suffered without even understanding why.
He loosened his grip and suddenly collapsed in Sasuke's arms.
Whenever Juugo had one of his crises Sasuke was the one who faced him, using sharingan to calm him down. In the beginning it was an easy task lasting an instant, but with time he got used to doujutsu and it was harder and harder, so much that on many occasions Sasuke had taken the brunt of them, even physically, before succeeding.
Karin and Suigetsu's task was to carry Juugo's unconscious body to a comfortable place.
Being tall and extremely muscular he was heavy, so Suigetsu would complain that Sasuke should have helped them as well, while Karin scolded him because he had just calmed him down and had taken hits from him, so complaining was selfish and rude.
She would look at Sasuke with a tender face that turned into a weird expression; Suigetsu would mock her for hitting on the Uchiha and, being her arms busy, she would kick him.
Shisui wasn't as big as Juugo but he was tall and muscular as well.
Sasuke could have put him in a random, closer cot, but he felt that his cousin didn't deserve that, and that it was better to place him where he had slept, being that room cleaner and warmer. It wasn't an easy task: it took time and effort to carry him there, as spent as he was after a sleepless night and everything that followed.
He had many sleepless nights in his life.
After the massacre he would almost always cry himself to sleep, sometimes he just stayed awake until the tears stopped falling but his heart didn't stop bleeding.
With Orochimaru, and sometimes later, he played out his strategy, imagining to fight Itachi, or, after knowing the truth, to kill all the people responsible for his horrible fate.
Many times he had woken up after terrible nightmares, yet this was the first time that a nightmare had brought him something good.
Sasuke's body was exhausted but his mind was hyperactive after finding the cousin he thought was dead and gone forever.
Maybe it was his brother's will, that's why he had appeared in his dream.
Maybe his brother was still protecting him.
He wanted to know what had happened to him and he wanted to ask him so many things, about their lives back in the old days, about the clan, about his brother.
In his thoughts past, present and future were frantically crossing each other and clashing over and over, as he was making hypotheses on what could have happened to the elder, how to tell him what he had missed so far in the best way, and what he could do from now on.
What they could do from now on.
They could go back to the village and live together like family.
They could talk, they could train, they could work, they could cook and eat together like family.
They could go to the cemetery together.
He had never gone to the cemetery with anyone.
During his journey, as he was acting in Konoha's place investigating a weird case of people exploding, he had seen a group of people praying by the grave of a lost relative; it was the first time he had seen such thing, as the Uchiha compound used to have its own graveyard and, when he was in the village, being the only Uchiha alive he was always all alone there -like everywhere else, in the district, in the Academy, in his own head.
He would regularly care for his parents' graves and then his other relatives' and clansmen's, cleaning the stones and pulling off weeds.
Currently the cemetery, as well as the compound, didn't exist anymore.
It had been destroyed during Nagato's attack and since there was no clan, no one had bothered rebuilding it. There was nothing related to the Uchiha clan in Konoha, except for acommemorative stone in their cemetery. Most of those who had lived during the founders' era had been forgotten, so most of the names in the stone had the same date of death.
Other than that there was nothing else, and no mention of the massacre, that was still officially considered Itachi's action.
The very thought of his brother's tainted honor made him feel sick.
He had told people the truth. He had told Naruto, Tsunade, Kakashi. His jailers. Didn't he?
He couldn't remember what had happened in jail but he suddenly felt a pang of nausea and the smell of dirt and dampness and something weird in his nostrils.
Those voices and things he had talked about were just the nightmares of a guilty conscience, Kakashi had told him. It didn't matter that he had wanted justice for his brother; he had committed crimes whose price he was paying for, in the darkness of his cell.
Every time Sasuke's mind fell in that trap of memories he didn't remember, sensations he wouldn't explain and nausea he couldn't control, it was hard to get back to the surface.
This time though it was quicker, for he had someone to take care of.
He was worthless, even of his own attention, was the last thing his inner voice told him.
When Shisui woke up, hours later, he found Sasuke leaning on the wall, dozing, fatigue having gotten the better of him. Being a light sleeper though, he opened his eyes when he perceived the other's turning and rustling in the simple futon.
"How are you feeling? Do you have any pain?" He asked, scanning him with sharingan.
Shisui did the same, just in case.
He tried sharingan, then mangekyou. He had both.
He didn't think he would.
"Are you hungry? There is a lot of food here, I don't remember what you like but I can prepare something quickly".
He didn't reply. He got up tentatively and just as tentatively he moved his legs, his feet, his arms, assessing his conditions. The previous night he had moved on adrenaline only; now it was harder to stand upright, his first steps were wobbly and his breath was ragged.
"Your lungs are alright, like all your vital organs. Your muscular tone is good too, the machines kept you in good shape. You just need to get used to being in an upright position again but in one or two days you'll be perfectly functional".
Sasuke said, not minding that the elder hadn't spoken anything yet.
Suigetsu had once told him that every time Orochimaru took him out of the holding pool he felt uncomfortably heavy and dizzy, that he would have adjusted quickly because it was his peculiar ability to liquefy himself and get solid again, but in the water there was something slowing him down, since he was a prisoner.
Sasuke figured that Shisui had been in a similar position. Besides, he didn't know exactly what to say or to do either.
"Are you really Sasuke?"
Shisui's voice was croaky. The boy nodded.
"Where is Obito?"
The elder stretched, then he bent one arm, then the other. He moved his neck, his wrists, his fingers. Then he stretched his back -he tried at least, wincing. He tried again, more slowly, controlling his breathing.
In the meantime Sasuke was replying to his question in a way that was exhaustive but not traumatic: he knew how it felt to wake up not knowing what day it was or what he was supposed to do, and to be given so many information that what was left of his perception of truth and reality crumbled, along with those questions fell into a pit of despair and loss, along with his very sense of self.
How ironic that he had felt this way waking up in one of Obito's hideouts as well.
He explained that Obito was dead more than a year ago.
Maybe two years? After traveling alone for a number of months he couldn't count, and after spending one year in jail -so he was told- his sense of time wasn't accurate.
He explained that Obito had waged war against a shinobi countries alliance that was still functioning; that behind him there was Madara, who in return had been manipulated by black Zetsu in behalf of Kaguya, whose supernatural nature the boy illustrated in a simple yet specific way, so not to flood him with information about something that wasn't anymore.
Apparently focused on his movements, Shisui was taking in all the information, sometimes looking at the other while trying to figure out what was harder to understand.
"Sasuke. How did you get here?"
He asked as he tried walking back and forth in small steps, leaning on the wall for support, since despite the machines his legs were weaker than his upper body.
"I told you. I knew there was an Obito hideout here".
Sasuke replied without offering his help, thinking that it was better to not invade his personal space and dignity for the time being.
"How did you know? Wasn't Obito an enemy?"
Sasuke nodded vaguely. He could have easily proved his loyalty saying that despite having spent months with Obito, despite having been transplanted Itachi's eyes by him, despite having associated with his criminal organization, he had fought in the war, he had helped Itachi dispelling Kabuto's Edo Tensei, that he joined the battlefield bringing the past Kage, fighting Madara and almost dying by his hand, that he had been fundamental to defeat Kaguya, but he didn't. He couldn't. He couldn't say anything about himself.
He was a criminal whose ideals and goals had always been wrong, so he was told.
He wasn't an enemy but he wasn't better than Obito.
Shisui could tell that the younger was sincere. His shame was sincere.
As the boy was hesitating, he spoke again.
"You're not wearing a uniform...you're not on a mission".
That was a good point. Sasuke was dressed like a traveler, with an all black attire, sandals and bandages over his calves, no symbol of belonging to a village.
"You're not on a mission from Konoha," he continued when the younger shook his head to his question, "But you broke through the highest level security system...so...is this a secret mission Fugaku assigned you, for the clan?"
It was an unexpected question: Sasuke was so used to his father, mother and clan being dead that he had forgotten that his cousin, his brother and even Obito, had lived in a period where shinobi were sent on mission by the village or by their clan leaders, in secret.
The elder could tell that something was off with Sasuke: his reactions seemed sincere, he looked ashamed and sad -more than sad- but he wasn't telling him the truth.
Having always been a good judge of people, not being able to understand what was happening, Shisui started feeling nervous and confused.
Even when he had been summoned by Danzo, he knew it was an ambush, he just thought that he could have handled it, not knowing that the old man had Uchiha eyes implanted on his arm thus he could use Izanagi to render his attacks useless.
He knew it was an ambush but he was desperate because if he didn't go Itachi would have been involved and he wanted to spare his cousin, and most important person.
"There is no mission".
Sasuke said after a long silence.
"There is no clan..."
He whispered, tightening his fists in a ball.
"There is no father of mine..."
His voice was barely audible, his head hung low.
Shisui's legs stopped working; he fell on his knees.
"So he was telling the truth...the clan was destroyed..."
He remembered well how Danzo had been threatening Itachi with a military action against the Uchiha; to prevent it, he had decided to use kotoamatsukami on their clansmen, to change their minds about the coup d'etat, even if he had hated the very thought of it, even if he had been forced to commit suicide instead.
Then he had even if he had been found by Obito, who had done things to him, who had told things to him, but he hadn't trusted him, and he hadn't believed any of his words.
Including the news about the Uchiha massacre.
Sasuke rushed to support him but the other refused his help, as shocked as he was.
"Sasuke…where is Itachi?"
Shisui asked. Sasuke's forlorn expression was as eloquent as the reply his mouth couldn't give.
"He's dead..."
He stated, then, after a long silence, he asked:
"How?"
Despite the desperate, burning self-loathing, Sasuke forced himself to look straight in the other's eyes.
"I did it...I killed him".
A/N:
Like I said in ch1, I like juusasu and I would like to write something about them in the future, but since now I don't have time I mentioned him a lot. As well as Team Taka, they are underrated characters, they are sasuke's best friends and companions and I want to give them justice, so in this fic even though they're not important for the plot, they are important for sasuke, who (both in the fic and in canon) is a loner but he was always with them, so it's sad that canon separated them, even in his journey.
I'm not a big fan of shiita except for some fanarts, but at the same time I kinda think it's canon behind the screen, besides even though I find it boring as a main story, I find it cool as a backstory. VOP much lol
When Shisui mentions Fugaku and Sasuke says 'there is no father of mine' I wrote it like this because in japanese he'd say 'tousan ja nai' but in english it doesn't work, and 'there is no father' sounds generic at least to my non native ears, and he wouldn't have called his father by name, it's disrespectful.
