Everything has felt rushed. From the moment they received the call for their daughter, someone pressed fast forward on their lives. And once they stepped foot into the hospital, everything slowed down immensely, to the point that everything that moved around them felt like slow motion.
Eight hours. The longest eight hours of their life as they waited for their daughter, begging and pleading to the universe for her to wake up. Eventually, her sleepy eyes peeled apart, and yes, she was frantic at first, disorientated, from what the nurse had described. She was also stubborn and trying to remove the tube down her throat, but eventually the nurse was able to calm her.
That was three days ago, and finally, finally, David and Mary Margret are allowed to see their daughter. The doctor was very adamant with taking things slow with Emma's recovery due to her long history of complications. And neither David nor Mary Margret argued with him, because they are willing to do whatever need be to guarantee their daughter's safety and full recovery.
"Oh, honey, you look good," Mary Margret coos, stepping beside her bed with big watery eyes as she swoops a chunk of hair away from Emma's forehead. As if Emma has anyone to impress at the moment.
"Liar," she barely mumbles because her throat is still a little tender from the tube and her chest feels extra tight and truthfully, she's petrified to move or breathe wrong and cause more damage.
And it's not like this is her first surgery. She's a pro now actually. However, this is the one that counts, this is the one that is supposed to end all her misery and suffering and she refuses to screw anything up.
"No, really," her dad chimes in, grinning wildly behind his wife. "We were able to see you through the window the past two days, you were so pale, but now you got some color coming back into your cheeks," he vows, somehow beaming even wider.
"Good," she murmurs under her breath.
"Honey, you know it's good to start talking and moving around. I know it probably hurts or is uncomfortable, but the doctor wants you to try and work on it," her mother reminds her and because of course, that woman can always read her like an open book and knows exactly what she is thinking.
It drives Emma mad sometimes and other times it's her favorite thing in the world. Right now, it ticks her off because she is due for another dose of medicine soon and she's becoming agitated, uncomfortable and above all, cranky.
"I know, mom. The doctor has been going over his expectations of me quite often."
"How are your coughing exercises coming with the nurse? I know it's supposed to hurt, but-"
"Mary Margret," David softly whispers, placing his hand upon her shoulder to interrupt her rambling mouth. She means well, he knows she does and she's just worried about their baby, but he also knows Emma needs a distraction. "Ruby called, she wants to come down and visit with Neal. I told them that I think it's best if you don't have any visitors until you go home."
"Yeah, I don't want to risk anything," Emma's scratchy voice barely whispers before she winces.
Mary Margret immediately glances at the clock on the wall. "Your next dosage should be soon," she informs her, taking Emma's hand into her own and squeezing some reassurance.
"Good."
And that's all she says and she can see her mom and dad exchanging a worried look, and she knows deep in her soul that her monotone responses don't match her usual sunshine disposition, but she feels so utterly beatdown. Sure, it's most likely the exhaustion from such a long, grueling and major surgery and maybe her body is just struggling because it's not the first time her chest has been cracked open. However, in the back of her mind, she's stressing over the thought of her body rejecting this perfect heart because she knows, she won't be able to survive.
This is her last chance at life.
Luckily, there is a knock at the door to shred through all those tormenting thoughts haunting her mind.
"Sorry to interrupt, but Emma, it's time for a coughing exercise," the sweet nurse, Ashley, announces.
Something inside Emma involuntarily relaxes. Ashley has been her nurse since she was checked into the hospital and she has been by Emma's side since she woke up. The woman is so kind, so gentle and it calms all the anxious energy festering and slithering around inside of Emma's veins. She's already dreading the day this adorable young blonde has a day off.
"Okay," Emma barely mutters.
"Are you in a lot of pain?" Ashley investigates, stepping up to the computer next to Emma's bed and prompting David and Mary Margret to take their seats on the other side of their daughter.
"Kinda."
Ashley pauses, momentarily flicking her eyes over to read Emma's expression; from her scrunched up freckled nose to the frown that's more prominent than ever.
"I can give you something now for the pain, but first breathing and coughing exercises, alright?" Ashely attempts to sound like she's strict, but Emma smiles and nods along happily.
Ashley quickly types away on her computer before offering her undivided attention to Emma. She places a towel against the incision embedded deep into the middle of Emma's chest. An incision Emma has yet to even glance at because she feels queasy just thinking about it. The nurse slowly raises the bed into the sitting position and Emma flinches, already feeling a different kind of pressure in her chest.
"Breathe, Emma, don't hold your breath. I know it's easier said than done, right?" Ashley playfully says, rolling her big blue eyes dramatically, but it helps Emma relax, even if it is just the slightest. "Alright, ready?"
Emma places her hand over the towel, allowing Ashley to remove her own. It's been a few days now and she's starting to feel more in control, she wants to feel more in control, so she holds the towel herself.
"Ten deep breaths in, don't hold back. Here we go," and Ashley takes a deep breath, encouraging Emma to follow along and mimic her power and timing in each breath.
Immediately, she feels her chest tightening, maybe even burning a little, forcing her face to screw together tightly, but she pushes through the pain. And with each breath she takes, they are becoming weaker, more tired, and strained, but she continues until she reaches ten.
"Now, deep cough, we don't want any mucus left behind," the nurse instructs, inspiring Emma to cough as hard as her lungs will allow against the heavy pressure. "Great, one more cough, okay?" Emma hardly nods, but she does give her best cough as Ashley grins back at her. "Good job, now, how about some powerful meds to knock you out for your reward?"
"Or I can fight the sleep and get really high," Emma teases and immediately regrets her joke because she ends up laughing and hating the pain that explodes through her chest and burns like spilled toxins throughout her blood.
"You could," Ashley muses, "or you could sleep and skip a few more hours of recovery."
"Touché," Emma murmurs.
Ashely chuckles, along with Emma's parents and then she disappears to retrieve those heavenly little pills.
XXXX
She hears faint whispers, as if there are two people off in a very far distance. She can't see them, in fact everything is an emptiness of pitch-black that sends her heart into a panic. She doesn't know why, but she knows something feels off in her heart, something is so terribly wrong and she feels the sensation explode in her chest and spill through her veins and infect her bloodstream like a poison.
She screams at herself to open her eyes, open her eyes and figure out what the hell is going on around her.
And then it happens. Her eyes slowly peel apart and it's a rough accomplishment, her eyelashes sticking together and her eyelids feeling heavier than she has ever experienced before. And then comes the pain. The excruciating pain throbbing in her temples and shrieking at her to slam her eyes back shut and stop all of the madness.
But she's always been a stubborn woman.
Every muscle in her body is spasming, violently trembling and it forces her to feel something lodged in her throat and she panics all the more. Her body jerks on reflex, attempting to run, but everything feels heavy and she's sure something is keeping her pinned into place.
"Regina? Regina, darling," it's her mother's voice and her eyes are expanding, frantically searching for that soothing voice and that's when her mother's face comes into view, above her. "Sweetheart, calm down. I need you to calm down, alright?"
She's so utterly confused. So damn lost in this world she woke up in and truthfully, she's not even certain that she is awake. Why is her mother hovering above her with watery eyes and a depressing smile that also resembles a frown? Why can't she move? Why is there something in her throat? And above all, why won't her head stop pounding?
"Honey, please try and relax. I am right here with you and your sister is here, but we need you to relax."
"Hey, sis." Petrified brown eyes flick to the right to discover an obscene amount of fiery curls. Her sister looks awful, almost worse than her mother and she has never seen those ringlets appear so disheveled before. "How was your nap?"
"Zelena," her mother sternly scolds her sister, but Regina is so damn clueless.
A nap? Did she fall? Did she slip and hit her head? She tries to recall the last thing she remembers, but everything feels like a foggy dream. She closes her eyes for a brief moment, desperately trying to even remember something as simple as what day it is. Except, she sees a smile instead. A smile so bright that it distracts her from her thoughts.
Her eyes blow wide open again and she doesn't even stop to acknowledge the thing wedged in her throat. "Naveen?" She mumbles around the tube and winces from the amount of pain that jolts through her body, but she has to know.
Where the hell is her husband?
"I know, honey," Cora sadly says, gathering up Regina's only free arm and lightly tapping the small space below her elbow.
The moment is interrupted though by a doctor who waltzes right up and smiles down upon her, but Regina doesn't miss the way her mother's eyes leaked a few too many tears. And there's that pressure in her chest again and that panic rising from within and tormenting every cell in her body.
"It's so nice to see you up," the doctor chuckles, quickly glancing at the monitor hanging above Regina's head.
Now, she knows she's in the hospital with her mother and sister, but she hasn't a clue as to why and she knows her father and husband are missing. So, she tells herself that her husband is off somewhere with her father, probably grabbing a cup of coffee and getting lost in their conversation about baseball.
Her eyes nervously glance around the room before dropping down to inspect her body. Her heart sinks when she notices a cast around her right arm. She squeezes her eyes shut again, desperately trying to recall what the hell could have happened?
And much to her disappointment, all her questions go unanswered because everything around her vanishes from existence.
XXXX
The next time Regina wakes up, the room is darker and it's just her sister sitting beside her.
"Ah, it's good to see those inquisitive eyes again," Zelena whispers, remaining seated to the chair beside Regina's bed.
And Regina is struggling to keep her eyes open. They feel so much heavier now and she's sure her sister is coming and going before her.
"Sleep, sis, I'm not going anywhere."
And she feels a kiss to her forearm before sleep sweeps her under yet again. She cannot find the strength to stay awake, but she knows her sister continues speaking to her as if her eyes are still wide open. She can't truly comprehend the words spoken, but it's comforting knowing that they are there, accompanied by Zelena's soft touch to her arm.
She wishes she could respond, she wishes she knew what was going on around her, but she seems stuck in some strange dreamland where everything is oddly white.
XXXX
She has been in and out of consciousness, that much she knows, she just isn't sure how many hours have passed her by. What she does know, is the doctor feels comfortable removing her tube since she has been breathing on her own and it only takes a moment for him to pull it out.
He asks her a few questions, some that she believes are quite ridiculous, like her name and birthday. After that he starts investigating her whereabouts and the last thing she remembers. She grows agitated rather quickly and she still feels tender and sore and after a few minutes, he suggests she rests. Not wanting to aggravate her any further. Much to her own disappointment, she falls asleep immediately with her mother holding her arm and her sister watching over her.
And she really wants to scream at them for answers, but her body is refusing to cooperate and she's starting to feel like a prisoner in her own body.
XXXX
The next time she wakes up, she does start to feel a little more coherent and is ready to have a civilized conversation because she has still yet to see her husband or father, and she hasn't a clue as to why she's in a hospital, she needs answers.
"You look good today, darling," her mother coos, brushing some hair away from her face like Regina might need to impress someone.
"Thanks?" And it's a question, no doubt, because her mind is still so foggy. "Now, mom, please, where is my husband? And why the hell am I here?" Her scratchy voice barely allows the words to be presented into the world and she winces from how broken her own voice sounds, nothing like the confident and controlled woman she usually portrays.
"Honey, you don't know why you are here? I just assumed it was all the pain medication knocking you out and making you loopy."
"Mother please," she exasperates, because she still feels exhausted and her entire body aches and she doesn't have time for games or her mother's rambling. "Stop. I need answers. Where is Naveen? Why isn't he here with me?"
"Okay, honey." Her mother slides her chair closer to her face. Ever so gently, she cups Regina's cheeks, so careful not to hurt her and peers so deep into her eyes that Regina actually feels her heart shrivel up in fear of what's to come. "I love you very much." Regina's entire face contorts into an expression mixed with pain and bewilderment. "Regina, you were in a car accident."
"What? I-" she's already shaking her head because she is sure she would remember being in a car accident. That's not possible. She has no recollection, not even a flicker of a memory. "No-"
"Regina, baby," her mother coos and right away Regina's heart jumps within its cavity in her chest because her mother has only ever called her baby, when she was very sick as a child or when something is very bad. "Naveen was driving, you were on the expressway, ready to leave the city for vacation. You hit a patch of black ice," Cora pauses, her eyes swelling with thick tears that cannot be tamed before they dribble down her cheeks. But all Regina feels is panic, and somewhat empty inside and the need for her mother to continue. She needs answers. "Your car spun out of control and you went through the guardrail. Your car flipped four times. I am so so sorry, my baby girl."
"Sorry about what, mother?" Regina sternly questions, her frantic eyes scanning all over her mother's face for a clue because none of this makes any sense to her. She doesn't even remember driving on the expressway with Naveen in recent memories.
"Darling, Naveen didn't make it."
"What?" She whispers disbelievingly, so cold and unattached to her emotions. "No, no. That-no," she suddenly snaps, her head violently shaking despite the pulsating in her temples. "You're wrong. There must be some kind of mistake. I don't even remember being in the car with him. I don't-" she pauses because the pain in her head is really starting to become overwhelming and she's feeling a bit queasy...but then she sees his smile.
She sees him sitting to her left, and the way he takes her hand and kisses her knuckles like he has done so many times before. He's grinning, like a little school boy, those teeth always shining so bright against his milk-chocolate skin tone. It always made her heart skip a beat. But then the image vanishes and she's struggling to remember when that moment took place.
She opens her mouth to argue with her mother, but this heavy weight crashes against her chest and she can't breathe. Her face scrunches up and she closes her mouth just to open it again and breathe, but she releases this ear-piercing shriek before a sob crackles in her chest and she belts out a cry of agony that has Cora lunging forward to hold her close.
"No, no!" She hysterically screams on the top of her lungs while her body tries to shove her mother away, yet pull her in close, all at the same time to stop the gut-wrenching pain from within.
"Ssshhhhh, I know, baby. I know," Cora coos, gently rocking her daughter to soothe her like she did so many years ago.
"No, he can't, mommy. No, there has to be...no!"
"I know, it's okay, honey, just let it all out."
"No, I can't," she bellows, shoving her mother away with all her anger bubbling up inside. "I can't do this. I can't live without him here. He is my world. I-no, please. God, please no."
"We are here for you," Cora vows, wrapping her daughter up again and holding her firmly against her chest. "Whatever you need, alright?" Her mother pulls back just the slightest to wipe the tears pouring down Regina's face and peer so deeply into those soaked brown eyes.
"No, no. Please, you have to bring him back. Please, go get him!"
And it's obvious Regina is in denial and suffering from a panic attack, so Cora reaches over the bed and hits the call button for the nurse, knowing her daughter needs some kind of sedative to calm her down.
"I want to see him! Please, go get him."
"Honey, I'm so so sorry, but that's not possible. It's been almost two weeks since the accident," Cora informs her as a nurse comes rushing in, just in time to witness another scream of agony that bounces off the walls and rattles their hearts.
"I'll go get her doctor," the nurse says before darting right out the door.
"Two weeks?" Regina shrieks, sobbing uncontrollably and clenching a fist impossibly tight around her mother's sweater.
"Yes, honey. You were in a coma for six days and then you had been in and out of consciousness for the past five days."
"Five days? I-I thought..." she hiccups, hopelessly gasping for air. "It was hours," she cries even harder, burying her face into her mother's chest and weeping for her husband she was never even able to say goodbye to.
