TW for this chapter!: Mention of alcohol abuse and suicide!


LUNA'S POV

That afternoon, the band and I find ourselves seated on Alex's bedroom floor. Alex picks at the fabric on their pillow, occasionally glancing up at us and flashing a weak smile.

Sam glances between Mazzy and I before leaning in to address Alex.

"Alex…" Sam's voice falters, and Alex sighs, throwing the pillow aside. They wring their hands restlessly.

"I'm sorry." They murmur. It's been a little under five minutes since we arrived upstairs, and Alex hasn't uttered a word about themselves thus far.

"Woah, hey, don't apologize." I state with as much reassurance as possible. Alex nods glumly, folding their hands in their lap.

"Take your time." Sam murmurs gently. Sam's statement is followed by another pause as Alex swallows hard.

"I haven't been doing good." Alex finally states, and the band perks up curiously at the vague response. We don't reply, however, just allow our struggling bandmate to explain themselves.

"And-and I know it may not seem like it, but…" Alex rubs their arm meekly, avoiding unwanted eye contact. "I've been hiding it." They take a large inhalation before continuing. "I thought that by acting happy, I could become happy, but turns out that's not how it works."

Alex finally takes a moment to glance at all of us. It's evident that Sam is trying-but failing-to hide her pity.

"Why… why didn't you tell us?" Sam murmurs, and the four of us patiently await an answer as Alex gazes at the ground thoughtfully.

"I…" Alex's voice falters, and they sigh deeply. "I didn't want to worry you guys. I wanted you all to see the happy side of me, you know? I didn't want to be that friend that constantly needs help. But, then again… maybe I do." They murmur sadly.

Mazzy rests a reassuring hand on Alex's shoulder, halting their train of thought.

"Alex, we know you and Sully." Mazzy states, gesturing between the two siblings. "When you dudes need help, you come to us, alright?"

Sam and I nod in response to Mazzy's words, and Alex smiles weakly.

"Thanks, you guys." Alex says. "Besides, there was that whole conflict with Michelle and Doug returning, so it seemed out of place to talk about my feelings."

Alex swallows hard, starting again. "You know, ever since my mom's funeral, I-"

Mazzy slaps her hands against the carpeted bedroom floor, mildly outraged. "Your mom's funeral?! Alex… Sully…" Spluttering wordlessly, Mazzy gesticulates exasperatedly. "You didn't tell us this!"

"I know I didn't tell you, and I'm sorry." Alex whines, their bottom lip trembling. "After my mom's funeral, I realized just how much I was struggling." Choking back a sob, a tear falls from their eye. "Just the thought that my mom… the person I love and admire… lies dead in her grave."

Sully seems to heavily agree with this statement, for he gazes sadly at his sibling with a slow nod of his head.

With the hope of providing some comfort to my pained friend, I seat myself beside Alex, enveloping them in a one-sided hug. They melt within my embrace gratefully.

"It truly hit me a week later…" Alex's voice falters, and they stare off into space as if seeing something that we cannot. "I can no longer talk to her… hug her… see her." Alex wipes at their eyes with a tearful sniffle. "I can't tell her how my day went… shower her in hugs and kisses every morning… You know, like I used to."

Alex dabs at their eyes briefly before turning towards their brother. Sully has remained stagnant throughout this, only gazing with a fond sadness upon his sibling. Tears cascade down his cheeks as he relives the experiences that Alex describes. Mazzy clutches onto him tightly, whispering reassuring words within his ear as the boy sniffles.

"Sully, I know you didn't speak with her as much as I did, seeing how you were living with dad." Alex finally pipes up. "But mom always told me how much she loved and missed you."

Sully's gaze wavers briefly before he looks down. "I wish I could have seen her in person one last time." Sully says, his voice breaking with emotion.

I pull Alex towards me, and my bandmate sniffles, wiping at their sopping eyes. "My mom would have loved you guys." They state.

"We would have loved her too." I murmur, my voice fading into a dull rasp.

"Again…" Alex continues. "I'm sorry for not coming to you guys. Even you, Sully." They add, meeting their brother's gaze. There's a momentary silence as Alex composes themselves.

"So…" Alex begins. "I have something to tell you guys."

I share a glance with Sam, who returns the look with a pained smile. We have no intention of stopping Alex, however. We've been itching for some recent information regarding their mental health.

"How do I put this?" Alex questions themselves, feverishly running their hands through their green hair. They tap their foot restlessly with pent up anxiety as the remaining four of us maintain patience and focus.

Trying my best not to come off as intimidating or intense, I resort to scanning Alex's bedroom walls with peaked curiosity. A SMOOCH poster frames the wall behind their bed, along with Mick Swagger and AC/DC.

They've got good taste, I marvel, nodding with content at the decoration that they evidently put much time into. The walls are painted a calm, grey color, like that of a cloudy sky prior to a rainstorm. The non binary flag of yellow, white, purple, and black hangs beside Alex's bed.

"Yes, I haven't been very happy." Alex begins again. "... but there's more to it than that." There's another pause as Alex collects their thoughts.

"I didn't feel as if… as if I served a purpose in this world." Alex states. "I wasn't doing anything I enjoyed… even my love for music began to dwindle. I felt, well, worthless, to put it simply." Alex swallows hard as they stare at the carpeted floor glumly.

"There were moments when I considered… ending it."

My breath catches in my throat as I glance in Sam's direction. Eyes wavering with a sudden prominent fear, Sam's eyes haven't left our distressed bandmate.

"End-ending… what?" Sam asks innocently, and Alex sighs despondently as they meet Sam's gaze.

"... my life." Alex murmurs, their voice giving out mid-sentence.

Suppressing an audible noise of distress, I recoil, my gaze meeting the ground. Sam's eyes water as she places a subconscious hand to her mouth. Mazzy is evidently stunned by the news; though her eyes are masked beneath her bangs, the heartbreak is evident within her features. Sully refuses to look at his sibling, instead staring sadly at the ground by his feet. Remorse clouds his features.

"Alex…" Sully begins hesitantly. His voice wavers, but his tone maintains the same rigidity that comes with seriousness. Alex glances up feebly, Sully's dense tone causing them to look smaller in appearance.

"I don't understand why you didn't tell me this. I'm your brother. We're both going through the same thing." Sully takes the time to finally glance up, his eyes boring into Alex's. Alex can't help but drop their gaze, as if Sully's stare caused them physical pain. They shrug their shoulders, as if disregarding their sibling's concern.

"Sully, look, it's not-"

"It's not what?!" Sully interjects, the fire within his eyes almost palpable. He jabs a finger in Alex's direction, unable to suppress his raging concern. "It's not what, Alex?" Not awaiting an answer, Sully continues. "When I hear you talk about things like this, it scares me, Alex."

Sully pauses to allow his words to resonate within the still room. Alex meets their brother's gaze, eyes watering. Seeing the state that Alex is in, Sully eases slightly. Inching towards his sibling, he envelopes them in a hug.

"I'm sorry, little sib." Sully murmurs. "I really am."

"It's alright." Alex replies, their voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry too, bro."

There's a silence within the room as the two siblings embrace. The three of us watch this unfold, unable to utter a word. However, Mazzy finally breaks the silence, her voice weak and quiet from disuse.

"Is there anything we can get you dudes?" Mazzy asks, trying her best to provide a meek smile. "You know, besides your mom." She adds, though she seems to immediately regret her words, for her features slacken again. Alex and Sully don't seem bothered by Mazzy's weak jab at humor, for the two of them chuckle, albeit weakly.

"Ooo! I have an idea!" Sam gasps. "My mom might be able to offer therapy sessions for you guys."

Alex's eyes widen at the mention of Mrs. Sharp. "You're not serious?" They question, awestruck, as they simultaneously lock eyes with Sully. Sam nods her head gleefully in response.

"You also get a discount, 'cause you're a family friend." Sam winks thoughtfully, and the two siblings stutter with unprocessed words.

"You-you'd do that for… us?" Sully asks, dumbfounded. He smiles broadly, however, upon seeing Sam's nod of confirmation. "Thank you." He murmurs fondly.

"You're gonna love Mrs. Sharp, bro." Alex chuckles weakly. They're evidently relieved, for their features possess less anxiety than a few moments prior. Sully nods, leaning his head against Alex's bed as he releases a lengthy sigh.

"I bet I will…" Sully murmurs.

A silence fills the bedroom as the conversation is dropped. I glance between Sam and Mazzy before clearing my incredibly dry throat.

"I take it your father hasn't been doing well?" I croak. The answer is plainly obvious, however, and it's been that way since we walked through the door that afternoon. Alcohol had led Alex and Sully's father into a stupor. He barely registered that we had entered the house until we addressed him.

He lacked hygiene. His facial hair, all scraggly and unkempt, was matted with stale beer and bread crumbs. Dozens of empty beer cans and bottles littered the area around his feet, including the sofa and surrounding chairs. I could almost see his life wasting away with every newly opened can.

"You guess correctly." Sully replies. "Our dad had been sober for twenty years. He only managed to give up alcohol when he met mom."

Alex nods before continuing. "I still remember him telling us the story." They state. "On their first date, dad made a promise to mom that, as long as they were together, he'd give up alcohol." Alex sighs rather sadly, running their fingers along the soft carpeting. "That time has passed…"

I frown at my hands as they rest in my lap. "I'm just… surprised, is all." I state, finally meeting the sibling's eyes. "He seemed a lot more sad and calm than I thought he was going to be."

"Our dad was never a raging drunk." Alex states, picking at the carpet aimlessly. "He just… becomes really sad and unresponsive."

"Have you tried… talking to him?" Sam hesitates, for she understands how strange her question may seem.

"Yes." "Many times." The siblings state in unison.

"He doesn't listen." Alex says sadly.

"You dudes were telling me…" I begin, turning to face Alex as the memory returns. "You were hiding your father's alcohol. That didn't work?" I question hesitantly, for the answer is plainly obvious.

Alex and Sully nod. "He managed to get his hands on them." Sully states before sighing dramatically. "I know we should do something more, but…" Sully turns to his sibling for confirmation, and Alex picks up on their brother's train of thought.

"...It felt intrusive." Alex murmurs, looking at each of our faces in turn. "But at the same time, I fear for him, you know? Like, what if something happens to him? Then what will happen to us?"

Sully and Alex glance at one another, sharing the same look of concern. I sigh exasperatedly, earning the attention of the two siblings.

"Dudes, if only I could take you in." I laugh out loud at the absurdity of it. "Sadly, I don't think there's enough room, seeing how-"

Alex shakes their head with renewed vigor. "No, no, dude, that seriously isn't necessary." They interject. Surprised by the outburst, I raise an incredulous eyebrow.

"You guys are way too kind, but seriously, we're getting by." Sully states, and Alex nods in agreement.

"We're vibing." Alex jokes as they flash me a finger gun. I chuckle weakly, but the laughter doesn't last long.

"No, seriously." I start, putting on a more serious tone. "I will do whatever it takes to help your fam."

Taken aback, Sully hesitates in his response. "That's a big promise to make, Luna. Are you sure you-"

"Yes." I interrupt, the answer already on the tip of my tongue. I'm not entirely sure as to my mindset, but when I saw the state of Sully, Alex, and their father throughout the course of this afternoon, my sympathy swelled. I envision the idea of ever losing my own mother or one of my ten siblings. The very idea prods at my heart, bruising it. If I've learned anything from having a large family, it's that family means the world to me.

"I'm sure." I repeat, earning a smile out of my bandmates.

The five of us sit on Alex's bedroom floor for another hour longer, Sully and Alex telling us more about their childhood and mother. Turns out she had an eye for photography, and she earned money taking wedding photos and whatnot. The two siblings even opted to show us some baby photos she had taken. Time flew by as me, Sam, and Mazzy marveled over Alex and Sully's photo album, the hours passing by like minutes.

Later in the afternoon, the events of the day left us tuckered out. I strum at my axe, and Mazzy leafs through her phone aimlessly. It's as my fingers glide over the taunt strings of my Logan V80 Shredder that a memory resurfaces.

I place my guitar aside, and a couple of my bandmates glance up from their personal entertainment.

"There's something I should tell you dudes." I state, and the tension in the room changes drastically, especially when I lock eyes with Sam. My girlfriend raises an eyebrow, aware that there's something I haven't told her. "It happened this afternoon." I say.

Curiosity peaked, my bandmates leaned in. I recount my conversation with Mrs. V, touching upon her strange, ambiguous behavior.

"'There's not much you can be told'? What's that supposed to mean?" Mazzy questions once I've finished my explanation, earning shrugs from my bandmates.

"Probably has to do with that conniving Michelle and Doug." Alex hisses through their teeth.

"Wouldn't be surprised, dude." I reply glumly, tapping my chin in thought. Suddenly, a memory swims within my mind's eye. I perk my head up, once again earning the attention of my peers.

"Wait, besides that." I start. "Don't you find it a bit… odd that Mrs. V didn't do anything to stop Michelle and Doug during band rehearsal today?"

"You have a point, Lunes." Sam states after a brief silence filled with many expressions of realization. "Knowing Mrs. V, she would have done something."

"Yeah, and Michelle and Doug have been making a lot more commands lately." Sully states. "As if it's possible for them to be more commanding." He adds, groaning.

Alex is quick to add on. "Seeing how they're just visitors, isn't it against the rules to take charge in a class without the teacher's permission?" They ask.

"Who's to say they haven't asked her for permission?" Sam asks meekly, unsure as to the answer herself.

"Yeah, this is all very odd…" I murmur mid-thought, but release an audible squeak when the bedroom door opens rather suddenly. I stiffen as the scent of ale wafts into the room.

"Dad!" Alex interjects, shaken by the sudden entry. "Remember I told you to knock when the door is closed?"

Alex and Sully's father, sporting a rather guilty expression, scratches at his scraggly beard. "S'ry about that, kiddo." He slurs his words before playfully tousling Alex's hair.

"By the way." Their father continues, swaying within his spot in the doorway. "Laura's mom is here to pick her up."

I gesture to myself curiously, sporting a puzzled expression. "Do you mean…?" I begin, and the sibling's father doesn't bother providing me with a verbal response. He only nods his head.

"It's… Luna." I state rather hesitantly, nervous regarding the man's response. However, he maintains a calm expression before belching loudly. He doesn't excuse himself or voice an apology, just brushes aside my comment as if it's an irksome fly.

"Ah, yes, Luna. Sorry, I'm wicked bad with names." Alex and Sully's father states. There's a momentary pause as the man regains his balance, pale in the face.

"So, uh, yeah, your mum is here." Their dad repeats awkwardly, and I nod gratefully.

"Thanks, dude. I'll be right down." I reply.

Taking that as his cue to leave, Alex and Sully's father sways drunkenly from the bedroom, clomping down the stairs in a clumsy manner.

Sighing with evident disappointment, I begin packing my axe back into its case. "Well, nice talk, dudes, but I have to get going." I state.

"No prob. Thanks for being here tonight." Sully says gleefully. I nod before exchanging farewells with all of my friends, wrapping Sully and Alex in an exceptionally large hug.

"I'll see you dudes at school tomorrow." I state before directing my attention towards Alex. "Alex, I promise, during our next Royal Rumble rehearsal, we'll perform your song."

Flattered by my kind reassurance, Alex smiles shyly. "You're the best, dudette." They state, and I finally make my departure with one last "good-bye".

Immediately upon entering the car with my mom, the key is in the ignition and we're pulling out of the driveway. There's a particularly long silence, and it's not until we reach a long stretch of quiet road that my mother speaks.
"That man was your friend's father?" She asks, her voice peaked with evident concern.

"Yes." I reply dully, keeping my gaze fixed out the window. Trees and power lines streak by, the speed of the car rendering the outside world to blurred streaks.

"Where is their mother when they need her…" My mother murmurs to herself as she gazes upon the expanse of road ahead of us.

Releasing a particularly large lump in my throat, I release a hoarse "she's dead." Rita stiffens from beside me, spluttering faintly.

"Oh, I… that's terrible." Is all my mother can fathom, and her voice seems to vibrate within the silent car. I nod briefly before another long silence swallows us whole. Squirming with discomfort, my mother places her hand to the car's radio dial, flicking aimlessly through the channels. A particularly upbeat and sappy song issues from the car's speakers, and Mrs. Loud cranks the volume up.

"Oh, I love this song!" Rita gushes with false enthusiasm. I raise an unamused eyebrow in her direction.

"Mom, you hate this song." I remark, and my mother's face falls. Unable to disregard the truth, my mom turns off the radio, ceasing the music and once again allowing the silence to encapsulate us.

"How is the family holding up?" Mrs. Loud finally pipes up, gazing into the dark void outside the windshield.

"They're doing alright." I reply. "For the most part, at least." I can't help but add when Sully and Alex's father resurfaces within my mind.

With a last slow nod of her head, Rita brings the conversation to a close. The remainder of the ride home is quiet, yet comfortable, and I can't help referring back to what Mrs. V said to me that afternoon. It was incredibly discomforting, and my mind turned to one thought.

I have to get to the bottom of this before the conflict escalates.