Author's Note: Now that the holidays are over, I had hoped to go back to posting once a week instead of once every two weeks. But right now, I don't think I can keep up that pace, so I will continue to post every other Monday for the foreseeable future. Again, thank you all for your patience. I hope everyone had a lovely holiday season!
Chapter Thirty-five
The feasting lasted a full three days, after which, most of the visiting lords and ladies began to make their way back home. A few stayed behind to get a better idea of what was actually happening within the city itself, and a few stayed in order to be married before the King of the Six Kingdoms. Although Sansa and Tyrion had discussed marrying in King's Landing, Sansa had insisted upon having their wedding in the godswood at Winterfell, before her own people, and Tyrion had been unable to argue. A week after Sansa's arrival, she was preparing to return north, with Tyrion following as soon as a new Hand had been chosen by Bran. It was an unexpected turn of events, but one Brienne was most grateful for.
"That was a very cruel trick you played," Brienne said as she and Sansa walked through the gardens of the Red Keep, the feeling between them so different than it had been the last time they had been alone there together.
"I apologize," Sansa replied, her tone serious. "I didn't want anyone to warn Tyrion. I wanted it to be a surprise."
"And it was indeed a surprise. But you know, I never would have told, don't you?"
"I know you never would have told Tyrion," Sansa said, idly toying with the rose in her hands. "But you might have told Lord Jaime, and he would most assuredly have told Tyrion."
Brienne's cheeks heated at the mention of Jaime's name. She had spent the previous three nights in his bed, and the entire keep knew it. They were lovers now, whatever that meant, and although she knew she had nothing to be ashamed of, she had been born a lady and even she was not beyond feeling a bit of embarrassment under the circumstances.
"I would not have told Jaime," Brienne protested. "I know how to keep an oath. If you had vowed me to secrecy, it would have remained a secret."
"Yes, you're right, of course. Please forgive me, Brienne. I never expected any of this, and I hardly know how it happened."
Brienne was suddenly curious about something. "Whose idea was it anyway? Yours?"
Sansa nodded. "With a little help from Gendry."
A short laugh escaped Brienne's throat. "Does that mean you were never truly smitten with Gendry Baratheon? That it was only an act?"
"It was. He loves my sister far too much to ever love anyone else. I pity him," Sansa said, turning to look up at Brienne. There was a sadness in her eyes that gave weight to her words. "I truly pity him."
When Sansa looked away again, Brienne asked, "Do you think Lady Arya will ever come back?"
"Someday, perhaps. But it won't be to marry Gendry or to bear his children. He knows that, and yet, he still can't seem to move on."
"Sometimes the heart can be a very cruel friend."
"Very cruel indeed."
Brienne and Sansa walked on in silence for some time, quietly taking in the beauty that surrounded them. Once they reached the wall that overlooked Blackwater Bay, they finally stopped, standing side by side, admiring the waves as they crashed against the shore. Sometimes, when Brienne looked out over the water, she was reminded of home. It had been a long time since she had been to Tarth, and she missed it. But her life was in King's Landing now, and she had no idea when she'd see home again.
"What are you going to do now?" Sansa suddenly asked. "Now that you and Jaime are together?"
The breath caught in Brienne's throat, and she was silent for a moment, trying to decide how to reply. Finally, she pulled back her shoulders and said, "Jaime wants to relinquish his claim on Casterly Rock and stay here for the rest of his life as Master of War. He wants to give up everything just so he can stay here by my side."
"That's not very practical," Sansa said. "And if he did relinquish the title—"
"I suppose it would fall to Tyrion, which I'm sure you wouldn't mind." Brienne turned her head, casting Sansa a sidelong glance.
The hint of a smile curved Sansa's lips. "No, I can't say that I would. But Casterly Rock is Jaime's by right, and Bran would not like it if he were to abandon his duties, even in the name of love."
"Yes, I know. Which is why I honestly have no idea what the future holds. Bran once intimated to me that I wouldn't be Lord Commander forever. I try not to think about it. I know he knows things, but I'm not sure what any of it means." Brienne raised an eyebrow in question. "Has Bran told you what he sees for us?"
Sansa turned away, focusing her gaze on the horizon. "No, he has not. But then, he hasn't been terribly forthcoming about my own future either. He seems only to share when he finds it absolutely necessary."
"Did he really suggest that you marry Lord Tyrion?"
"Perhaps suggest isn't the right word," Sansa replied. "He told me that I was going to marry Tyrion. That he'd seen it, and that I had nothing to fear." Sansa turned and looked at Brienne again. "And while I find his words reassuring, sometimes, it's difficult for me to believe that everything he says is true. I know it is, but it seems so strange to have someone—even your own brother—tell you with absolute certainty how your future will unfold. Bran has known for a long time that I was going to marry Tyrion again. I just wish he had told me sooner."
"Maybe he couldn't have told you sooner. Maybe if he'd told you sooner, it wouldn't have happened, you would have done something differently and found yourself on a different path."
"Perhaps."
The sound of approaching footsteps drew their attention away from the water, and both Brienne and Sansa turned to find Jaime headed straight for them, his golden hair glistening in the midafternoon sun, a familiar smirk on his lips. Brienne's heart thudded against her ribs at the sight of him, and the blood flushed warm in her veins. Even though she was Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, whenever she saw Jaime, she suddenly felt like a young maid, all flustered and hopeful and desperately in love. Brienne fought the urge to smile at him, trying to keep a reserved exterior since they were no longer alone in his bedchamber but out in the palace gardens where anyone might see them.
Jaime stopped as soon as he reached them. "Good day, Your Grace," he said to Sansa with a quick nod of his head. He turned to Brienne. "Lady Brienne."
There was another thump of her heart, so loud and clear that it pounded in her ears. Brienne swallowed the lump in her throat, her eyes locked with Jaime's for one brief moment. Why did he have to be so godsdamned irresistible all the time?
"Good afternoon, Lord Jaime," Sansa replied, as cool and courteous as ever.
Jaime's attention returned to Sansa, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "My lord brother has sent me to fetch you. Something about wedding plans. You'll find him in his solar, pacing nervously, I think."
Brienne looked at Sansa again. There was an unexpected glimmer in her eyes as well. A spark of excitement, perhaps? Anticipation? Now, Brienne was sorry that she hadn't asked Sansa what had happened between her and Tyrion the night she had announced their betrothal, the night they had left the hall alone together. Although Sansa had always been the picture of propriety, Brienne was beginning to wonder if she and Tyrion would be sharing more than just plans for their wedding that afternoon.
"Thank you," Sansa said. "I think I shall go find him. After all, I won't be here in King's Landing for much longer and there is still a great deal more left to do." Sansa turned back to Brienne, an unmistakable glint in her eyes. "Will you excuse me, Brienne? I'm sure Lord Jaime would be more than happy to escort you back to the keep in my stead."
Brienne fought back a knowing smile. "Of course, Your Grace."
In an instant, Sansa was on her way back to the keep and Brienne found herself alone with Jaime. He moved in closer, standing just beside her, casually gazing out over the water below.
"Did Lord Tyrion really send you to fetch Sansa for him?" Brienne asked, suddenly suspicious.
Jaime leaned casually against the wall, turning so that he could look at her. "Do you doubt me?"
"Well, I certainly wouldn't put it past you to tell a little white lie if it suited your purposes."
"And what purposes could those be?"
The brilliance of Jaime's smile belied every last word he had spoken, and Brienne was certain he had just lied to the Queen in the North.
"You seem to have only one thing on your mind lately," Brienne replied. "You know that the feasting is over, right? Tomorrow, we go back to small council meetings and recruiting and training troops and all of that."
"Yes, I know." Jaime straightened, no longer leaning on the wall for support. "But we still have a little time left, don't we? And even when we do go back to the business of protecting the realm again, what's to stop us from carrying on just as we are?"
"You know what."
"Do I?" Jaime's eyes took on a dark cast, and Brienne could tell that he was troubled by her words.
"Yes, you do. We've already talked about it. It may not be tomorrow, or next month, or next year. But someday, things are going to have to change significantly. Someday, you're going to have to leave King's Landing, whether you like it or not."
"Why? Because you say so?"
"No, because King Bran says so."
"Does he? Because so far, he's barely spoken two words to me. If he tells me I must go, that's one thing. But as long as I'm allowed to stay, I will. And as long as we're allowed to be together, I won't let you go. I love you, Brienne. Like I have loved no one else in all my life, and I'm never going to walk away from you. Never."
Never again.
Although Brienne loved Jaime more than she loved her own life, sometimes, it was hard to believe his words. They were just words, after all. He had left her once—in a moment of unrelenting pain and misery—he could leave her again. He would leave her again, when duty dictated it. And as much as she adored hearing his sweet promises and words of love, she knew that, eventually, they would all prove meaningless in the face of duty and honor and responsibility.
"Don't make promises you know you can't keep," Brienne said. "Please."
Jaime took a step forward, reaching out for her and pulling her into his arms. Brienne could scarcely protest. Whenever Jaime touched her, all her resolve simply faded away.
"I'm not making idle promises," Jaime said. "I am not going to leave you for anything. You have no say in the matter, so stop trying to fight it."
Brienne didn't want to fight it. She wanted to believe it, all of it. She wanted to believe in Jaime and his love and his word. She wanted to believe that he loved her more than he had ever loved anyone in all his life, more than he had ever loved Cersei. She wanted to be a fool for him, even though she knew it could only lead to heartbreak. She'd had her heart broken for a lot less, and she was beginning to think it might be worth the risk.
Brienne didn't want to argue anymore. There was no point in arguing. As King Bran had proven when he'd told Sansa that she was going to marry Tyrion again, the future was already written. Whatever they did, it was meant to be, ordained by the gods. Whether they ended up together or separate, all they could do was their best.
Not knowing what to say, Brienne did the unthinkable. She leaned forward and pressed her lips against Jaime's, kissing him right there in the garden, where anyone might see. She knew she was taking a risk. Despite what everyone suspected was going on in Jaime's bedchamber at night, no one had seen them share such affection in public before. Brienne was risking her reputation as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard, but suddenly, she didn't care. She needed Jaime to know how she felt, she needed him to know what she wanted, while there was still time for them to be together.
When Brienne pulled back, she could barely breathe. She gazed into Jaime's eyes, captivated by the desire she saw there. It was the middle of the afternoon, and no matter how much she wanted to, there was no way she could sneak away with him at that moment. There were still duties to attend to and appearances to keep up. Even though she wanted to be with him, she would have to wait until the sun went down and the rest of the keep was asleep before she found herself in his arms again.
"Come with me," Jaime murmured, his voice husky with need. "Come to my chamber now. No one need ever know."
"You know I can't." Brienne finally broke free of his arms and took a step back, putting a comfortable distance between them. "The keep is still lousy with lords and ladies getting ready to leave for home. Dancing in front of them at the feast together was one thing, but this, this has to wait."
Jaime sighed, but he made no further argument. "Very well. I suppose there are other ways for me to occupy my time. Perhaps I'll follow Bronn into the city this afternoon and join him for a drink. I'm sure he'd be glad for the company."
"You're more than welcome to follow him," Brienne replied. "You're the one who will be stuck listening to him all night."
"So, you have no problem with me joining Bronn at the local brothel for a drink?"
Brienne shook her head, so sure of Jaime's fidelity that she couldn't even pretend to doubt. "No, no problem at all. Go with him. Have a drink or two. Have three."
"And women?" Jaime asked, arching a brow in challenge.
"Again, that's up to you. If you want to invite another woman into your bed, that's your prerogative. But if you do, just don't ever expect me to join you again."
Jaime laughed. "So, that's how it is?"
"That's how it is."
"I'll bear that in mind when Bronn offers to buy me a whore for the evening."
Brienne chuckled. "You don't really expect me to believe that Bronn would offer to pay for a drink, much less a whore, do you?"
"He did when I first returned to King's Landing. He's had a good week, what with getting engaged and all. Perhaps he's feeling generous."
Brienne wasn't about to argue the point. "Do as you wish, Lord Jaime. Just remember, there's work to do tomorrow."
"And tonight."
Jaime's voice took on a sultry quality, and Brienne's whole body warmed at the sound. She knew what Jaime meant. He didn't need to clarify. His tone alone told her everything she needed to know.
"And tonight," she said quickly, turning away so that he couldn't see how his words had affected her. "I will see you this evening, Lord Jaime."
"Lady Brienne."
Brienne headed back toward the keep alone, afraid that if she allowed Jaime to accompany her, she'd end up right where she'd started that very morning, in his bed. The feasting and celebrating were over. It was time to get back to real life. Brienne could not allow herself to live in a fantasy much longer. She had to start acting responsibly now. She'd spend one more night in Jaime's bed, but after that, she had no idea what the future might hold.
