Hi friends! Here's part 2 :) I hope you like. :)
Part 2
Teddy went through a rollercoaster of wine and scotch induced emotions. That doesn't matter now because he said he'd stay. He's on the phone calling the hotel to cancel his reservation or calling the airline to change his flight. She doesn't know. He's making up some story and excuse about being a doctor and an emergency etcetera etcetera. The movie he put on for the kids were abandoned. They are, instead, making a fort in Allison's bedroom. Her home went from completely silent to rambunctious, family and giggle-filled home. Giggles in the distant. His voice echoing in the hallway, spitting out some confirmation number on the phone. And she's standing in the middle of her kitchen, leaning against the island. On her second glass of scotch. She stares at the ice, floating. Her mind slowly panicking. Now what, she thinks. She stares blankly at her drink. She didn't expect him to stay. Maybe she's not going crazy. Maybe he really wants to spend time with her. But now what.
He walks back into the kitchen to his spot across from her. The kitchen island between them. A bowl of fruits between them. It used to be a bowl of pinecones. Something decorative. But when the kids are there she switches it with actual fruits. Make it appear like she's home sometimes eating fruits. A semblance of a normal life. Not someone who just comes home to crawl into bed and wakes up to drink coffee and stare a bowl of pinecones until it's time to leave for work again.
"All good?" She asks him.
He takes a sip from his drinks and nods. "All good."
She notices that he glances over her shoulder, probably to check the time. She's bored him already. Or he has some regrets. But she buries that anxiety because now he's here.
Now what.
Now she needs to say what she's always wanted to stay.
What she should have said.
"So…" He starts speaking. To her, it sounded loaded. She looks up at him. Her heart beating fast. "Could you still get me a ticket to the Rockettes" He says with a smile.
She almost spit out her drink. Because the tension is very apparent and she has so many other thoughts swirling in her brain. And she knows he's also thinking about a million things. The words that came out of his mouth were unexpected.
"Well, lucky for you I've ben procrastinating buying those tickets, so I guess we can get you one."
"Great"
"It will make our daughter happy" She says.
Their daughter's name has been a sensitive subject. Probably mostly to her. She wonders if he thinks about it too. So she decide to just go with 'our daughter' or 'Al' or 'Allie'. She thinks it's the same reason why he still calls her bean affectionately. She never thought anything of the name, and she could understand why it makes him upset. She's had a lot of therapy sessions about the name and the ripple effect it has caused. They both knew it was important to her, the name, the person. But she gets it. Finding out about her Allison was pouring gasoline on a massive dumpster fire. She puts the thought aside because she feels her breath restricting. So she suppresses it with a gulp of the warm scotch.
"So what exactly happens … in the Christmas spectacular or whatever…"
"Oh you know… dancing.. singing. There are camels"
"Oh yeah she tells me about the camels every time"
"I don't want to spoil anything for you. Trust me, it's better that way."
They're quiet again. Smiling at each other. She doesn't want it to be awkward. She's hoping the stiff drinks would just kick in so they can both loosen up. There has got to be some friendship left in there somewhere.
"So… this is your life" He starts. He stares at his drink and not looking at her. She doesn't know what he means but she feels nervous and the tension that's building up.
"Hmm?"
"Big city, fancy place, fancy neighborhood"
"I guess so" Looking around her place. It's nice and homey. It would be nicer if he were here with her. And the kids. It would be nicer if someone actually lived in it and enjoyed it.
"It's good. It's nice. It's nice to be a part of it for a few days." He says. Giving her that smile. She smiles back holding eye contact. The longest they've probably held it in a very long time—not that she counting the seconds.
Her heart is beating. Beating so fast she could hear it. She can feel her ears getting warm. It's probably the scotch. Not that fact that Owen is finally speaking to her and smiling at her. And telling her that it's nice to be a part of her life.
She doesn't know what to say. Yes. It's nice that he's part of her life again, this part of her life at least. He has always been a part of her life. From the moment they realized they are each other's person. Even before that, she supposes.
"It is. It's nice. I mean, I don't know, since I never have the time to do any of the fancy city things, but yeah, I suppose it's nice."
"This place… it's—"
She just nods. This is what their conversations have resorted to. Her apartment. The city. The weather.
They never had a problem talking. They can talk for days.
"You wanna see my backyard?" She says proudly. He nods and they both take their jacket and their bottle of scotch to her backyard. It's nice out. It's cold but not freezing cold. There was a forecast of snow but it's still nice and quiet out. The clouds looking heavy, ready to sprinkle its snowy magic on the festive city, making the upcoming Christmas more picturesque. They sit on the porch swing. Bottle of scotch between. Just in case they need more. Bundled in their own jackets. She glances at him. He's looking around. Looking at the sky. He gently moves and swings. She's quiet. She takes a sip from her scotch. This silence doesn't seem too terrible. It's definitely more comfortable.
"Nice backyard" he says. Staring directly ahead. She follows his gaze and he's looking at the building behind Teddy's brownstone. There's a young couple decorating their tree by the window of their second floor apartment. They were happy and laughing, oblivious to Teddy and Owen watching them from her porch swing. Not in a creepy way, but it's just how it is in the city. Sometimes gazing out the window means gazing into someone else's.
"Not like the backyard in your house." She says quietly.
He chuckles "Yeah"
Having a backyard in New York City is rare. Not everyone gets to be so blessed. But she has her tiny little slice of heaven. It's not as big as their—his?—backyard in Seattle. The kids have updated her that there is now a treehouse up there. Their dad built it for them. It's their clubhouse. No one else is allowed, except Scout and Harriet. There are days she thinks leaving them was for the best for them. They can have an idyllic childhood with their treehouse and chosen cousins. But obviously, there is nothing idyllic about this situation.
There is no way they can build a treehouse in her backyard. Owen gets the point for that one. Not that they're keeping score—okay, she does keep score, kinda. But she has a little firepit and nice chairs and barbecue and a small little tree. She has a porch swing where her kids have fallen asleep after a sugar high from making s'mores on summer nights. They've also made memories there.
But she pictures their backyard in Seattle. Bigger, sprawling, where their wedding would have been. Now there's a treehouse in the tree. A tire swing attached to it. Kids playing in it all day. Memories and moments she's missed. Moments she imagined when she and Owen decided to buy the house. Moments that just became daydreams for her. To her own fault.
She doesn't know anything that has happened in Owen's life, besides what the kids have reported to her. The kids were not privy to their father's dating life so she has no clue whether he's moved on or is moving on. But whatever it is, it hasn't been serious because the kids have not met anyone to fill the maternal void in their house in Seattle. But she can't stop thinking about Miss Pollack because clearly, the woman was present enough for Allison to know who she is.
"How's your Mom? And Megan" She asks, distracting herself from spiraling thoughts of their son's teacher.
"They're good. Mom sends her love"
She smiles sadly. Even after everything Evelyn still sends her love. Evelyn still calls her and, surprisingly, texts her. She sends pictures of the kids more than Owen. She misses his family too. "Aw" was all she could muster to say in response, fighting the surge of overwhelming emotion. The maternal figure in her life who has been present since she became friends with Owen. Her warm hugs. Her lending ear when she needs a mom to talk to.
"It's surprisingly so quiet. I always imagined it being loud, being a city and all." Owen says, breaking the silence.
Teddy smiles and nods "Yeah, there are little pockets and areas where it's not loud. I mean, yeah there's the occasional ambulance or firetruck… but nothing crazy."
She looks at the skies, she wishes he could see the stars, but the promise of snow seems much better.
"Are you happy?" He asks.
The question startles her because she has never thought about it. And the truth is she's not.
"No. Not really. I mean. Sometimes. Like today. But in general? I could be better"
She stammers but it's the truth. She's done a lot of work for herself, for her mental health the last four years. Work she needed to do to get her life in order. It is in order now, but is it happiness? No. Is she a complete train wreck? No. She is just existing. She's alive and she's here. That's enough for now. She has everything she wanted. But everything she wanted are in separate places. Would she feel different if she sees her kids everyday? Absolutely. Would it be happiness? Who's to say. It's not the lack of joy. She has her simple pleasures, but she doesn't know if she's capable of happiness. Of constant happiness. She could be.
She looks at him and he's just looking at her, searching for her eyes. She knows he doesn't know what to say. She should have just said she's happy. Because she has every reason to. But she just doesn't know what that is.
Owen gets lost in her eyes. Her sad eyes is definitely his weakness. He knows she's not happy. He knows it's not easy for her to be away from her kids. He has a lot of regrets. One of them is not trying to convince Teddy to stay. Not at all. Not even one "please stay." When they talked and broke up, she said she couldn't stay at Grey Sloan and she couldn't stay in Seattle. She confided that she was done wearing her scarlet letter and she's tired of being treated horribly by everyone else who had sided with him, which was obviously most of the hospital staff. She said she wanted to leave and all Owen said was "Okay, then leave." When, of all people, Richard Webber told him Teddy found a job in New York and she accepted it, all Owen said was "Good for her"
He was so mad and he had so much pride that he just let her go. He knows his mom talked to her and him separately. Megan definitely tried to interfere. But he was so angry and she was so defeated.
He doesn't even know what happened the day she left. She stopped by his mom to say goodbye to the kids. He made sure he was at the hospital. He made himself busy. He didn't speak to her for a long time—until their first agreed-upon "flying across the country to drop off the kids". Even then, he dropped off the kids, politely said hello and goodbye, and he was off to his hotel where he spent a few hours before catching a flight back to Seattle.
They made it work. The two of them. It was exhausting. It's been an exhausting four years.
But eventually the anger faded. The hurt subsided a little. And when the kids were more talkative, the two of them spoke more.
He feels very responsible for pushing her away. For not fighting. For making her sad.
But she has it all. She definitely has the money and the beautiful house in New York City and a really incredible career. Her home looks like something you'd see on Television. Her white marble kitchen and her perfectly designed home. He knows Teddy has most things she wants in her life. It would have been perfect if she—they—didn't blow it all up.
When they bought the house in Seattle, he remembers standing in the backyard with Teddy. They talked about things they'd do. Maybe put a gazebo over in the corner. They talked about having picnics on sunny days. Maybe eventually get a swing set when the kids got older. They were happy then.
He knows Teddy has felt happiness. Because he has too. They were both there. They felt it together.
He knows that they two of them have everything they want and need plus more.
He knows happiness is not that out of reach if they were just honest with how they feel about and for each other.
He can't help it. He can't help gazing into her eyes. They're telling him a lot and not enough. And they're pulling him in in. Pulling him closer. And closer. And she doesn't back away. For all he knows she's also leaning in.
It was an electric current, he thinks. It was a spark an shock when his lips finally touched hers. To him, it happened in slow motion. It was like something was pulling him by the strings, commanding him. His hand moves to her face cradling it. He feels the swing move a little as Teddy scoots closer to him. The bottle of scotch sandwiched between them.
He thinks about the scotch. He doesn't feel drunk. This is a sober move. A sober choice. Whatever their lips and tongues and limbs are doing, it is a sober, consensual choice.
Then there was a loud slam of the back door. The two of them jumping away from each other, feeling like teenagers who have just been caught. He looks at Teddy, who just hides in the collar of her jacket and Owen is just paralyzed by the unknown source of the door slamming.
"What did we say about slamming the doors" Teddy says. She says it gently, not in a scolding way. He then realizes and he is brought back to the present that they have tiny little children in the house.
"Oops, sorry mom. It was too heavy." Leo says
"Dad! You're still here!" Allison exclaims as she runs to the porch swing and forces herself between him and Teddy. The bottle of scotch discarded to the side. Owen watches as Teddy carefully places it on the ground. Far enough so the kids' little legs are not able to reach it.
Leo follows his sister and thoughtfully finds a spot for him. There's definitely enough room but he watches his son just standing there for a second until Teddy pulls him into her arms and into his lap.
"Where are your jackets, my little ducklings" Teddy says as she wraps her arms around Leo and tucks him under her chin. Owen notices that their sweet and thoughtful son just nuzzles in his mom's chest. Not fighting the affection.
"I don't know" Leo just answers softly.
Owen does the same to Allison. Wrapping his arms around the Tiny-Teddy, who was definitely a little sweaty probably from playing with her brother.
"Dad, are you staying?" Leo asks, peeking and perking up from Teddy's chest to look at him.
Teddy just smiles at him.
"Yes." Owen says, as a matter-of-factly.
The kids looked at each other, as if convening on how to react to this unexpected change in their routine. Owen takes note that they simply just looked at each other and then shrugged it off.
"You guys want to show dad around the house?" Teddy asks.
The two kids exclaimed and wriggled themselves out of their grasps. Each kid grab a hand each and tugs on him.
He is still dizzy from the kiss or from the scotch or from something and he doesn't want to be pulled away from her yet.
But the night is young. And eventually the kids will have to be tucked in.
And hopefully, maybe, they can resume to whatever it was they were doing.
He was escorted away by the kids, which was a relief for Teddy, so she can process what's happening. His lips. His tongue. His sweet, warm, large hands holding her face. She takes a deep breath and looks at the sky. What is going on. What now.
Suddenly she's hungry for him. For a lot of things, but she's gonna stick with maybe ice cream. Thank god she stocked the fridge with ice cream and other fun sweet snacks for the kids. She's aware the she spoils them. If she shoves some ice cream into her mouth, maybe it will be numbed and forget the tingly feeling from Owen's lips and tongue. So she gets up and picks up the bottle of scotch from the ground and makes her way inside.
The kids and Owen are in Allison's room.
"This is Bert!" She hears Allison exclaims. "He's my New York Hippo!" She says. New York hippo—the stuffed hippopotamus they bought at the zoo. Allison refused to leave the gift shop without Bert. Her daughter claims she needs Bert because she left her Seattle hippo, Bertha, in Seattle. Teddy was afraid of a tantrum brewing so she caved in and bought Bert. Teddy was afraid because she did not know how to deal with tantrums in public places. She always tried to de-escalate before any sign of dismay appears. She's probably not the best at parenting. She possibly have spoiled the two kids. Or maybe she just feels guilty for walking away from them.
"Bert and Bertha, I get it" She hears Owen say.
She stands by the door just listening in, not interrupting what's happening in her daughter's bedroom. She holds the bottle of scotch close to her chest with a little smile on her face. Okay, she's feeling things so maybe she's not hopeless.
"And this is Teddy" She hears Allison say followed by Owen's laugh.
"Was she named after mom?"
"Yes but don't tell her. Only you and Leo know her real name" Allison says, quieter.
"Mom thinks her name is Gary" Leo says interjecting and giggling.
Gary, Teddy thinks for a second until she realizes that Gary is the stuffed Giraffe.
"Why did you name this one after mom?"
"It's so obvious, Dad" Allison says with a little sass. "She's tall and she has long legs and her yellow hair"
"Okay" Owen says laughing.
She decides to walk away in search for a snack. She is internally freaking out and only snacking could satisfy the void. Owen kissed her and it was a good kiss. She still feels tingly thinking about it. The electricity still flowing through her. It could be the kiss or the scotch or the cold. But she feels giddy. Like she's alive again. Like in fairy tales when spells have been lifted and inanimate objects come alive.
But there's also so much fear. What if he thinks this is a mistake. What does it means. What now.
But the scotch induced side of her brain tells her to push that thought side. Enjoy it. Worry about it when you have to. Just… let it be.
She's not a big fan of the whole let it be concept. She's too emotionally fragile to just let things happen without any safeguards. Because she always gets hurt. Always.
But she tries not to think about that as she digs into the tub of pistachio ice cream that she bought for herself. She never buys ice cream but when the kids are around she likes to keep some just in case she needs to bribe them. But the pistachio is for her. The chocolate is for Leo and the chocolate chip is for Allison. She doesn't know why she got the big tub of pistachio. But she thinks about how maybe Owen would want some. It's been their thing. One thing that brought them closer. Pistachio ice cream. It's random. Yeah so she got a big tub of pistachio ice cream and also the kind of beer he likes because maybe she was secretly hoping this time he'd stay. And he did.
Maybe it will be a great Christmas after all.
Owen appears all of a sudden in front of her. It startles her for a second as if she was just caught. He's smiling. His eyes twinkly. He's flushed from the scotch probably.
"Hey" He says, with that voice, That voice like they had just kissed. Well, they did. Teddy could feel her cheeks blush.
"Kids gave you a nice and informative tour?"
"Yes, very thorough. I met all the animals. Hester, was my favorite. And Gary."
"Ah yes, Hester the bunny and Gary the Giraffe. I'm sure Bert will be offended that he was not picked as your favorite."
"Well, I can't cheat on Bertha. There is only one spot for a hippo in my heart."
"Okay, that's fair." Teddy chuckles as she digs into her ice cream "Want some?"
"Pistachio. So you're the culprit."
"Hm?" She looks at him. Her mouth filled with ice cream.
"Last summer, both kids were returned to me and suddenly pistachio was the ice cream of choice."
"You like it too…"
"Yeah but they would make a face every time I ate it." He says "But now, I have to share with them. Appalling." He adds jokingly.
Teddy just laughs "Well, good thing I bought the big tub."
Teddy notices that Owen just laughs and moves closer to her. He takes her spoon from her hand and for a second she thought he was going to lean in a kiss. So she stops breathing. And she feels the tingling from her toes. But instead, he just helps himself and takes a spoonful of ice cream without breaking eye contact.
She doesn't say anything. She just smiles. Still inches away from her.
"God this is good. What is this" He says
"Just some local ice cream place"
She tells herself not to be shy. Thanks to the liquid courage, scotch, and the sugar high from the ice cream. So she inches closer to him and leans her cheek against his shoulder. It's a gesture she's always done. For comfort. For … familiarity. Her cheek or her head on his shoulder. She missed this. She was also afraid he'd move away but instead he leans his head against hers.
"You know I didn't mean a lot of the things I said…then.. right?" He says. Suddenly serious.
"I know. Me neither."
He leaves a kiss on top of her head and leaves his head against hers again.
That's the thing about her and Owen. They fight they have disagreements and they're both stubborn and they will move away and they will not speak, but then time passes and they're just back where they left off. They don't bring up the past and talk about it either. So they will probably not going to have the talk, although they should. It's hopefully implied that they're okay. They don't need to go back and re-hash and re-hurt each other. They can just move forward and do what they have to. If they want to.
"I should put the kids to bed" Teddy says, not moving. It's late, although the kids probably are jet lagged and still on west coast time. Nevertheless, she just wants to spend time with Owen. To see what happens now.
"Okay." He says, also not moving. "I'll be here. With the drinks and the ice cream."
She finally moves away from him and finds their kids. She walks into Allison's room and they're playing pirates. She doesn't want to break up their party, but they also did not fight bath time and bed time. They do what she asks them to do.
She can't see what's going to happen from here on out. She doesn't know and she doesn't want to know. She's afraid of the pattern that they've fallen into. But this is a good step. This is a healthy step.
At the very least she knows she has friend in Owen. And for now that's good enough. At the very least whenever she needs friendship or guidance or advise, she can always just reach out to him.
The kiss was so good. His warmth and comfort was missed. She's glad he stayed. She's glad she asked him to stay.
He watches her walk away and disappears into Allison's room. He hears some "arrgh" in the bedroom so he assumes they've resumed playing pirates. It didn't take long until he sees tiny creatures skitter to the bathroom followed by Teddy padding behind them.
It feels right and normal and somewhat scary. This is probably how normal families live. He doesn't even know what that means.
His whole life he's wanted kids and he has that. He thinks he's good at it. Their kids seem pretty well-adjusted and normal for kids who have two households and parents who live on the opposite sides of the country.
But there's a certain emotion that he's feeling right now watching her move around her house with them. He wants more than kids. He wants a wife. He wants her. He wants them. He needs to get over whatever qualms he's had and just move on. It's so easy to say. It's so easy to list things he wants. Everything is so close to his reach and yet everything is so…..unattainable, it seems.
He fishes his phone out of his pockets to see if the world has imploded. He has been oblivious to everything else. His mind is occupied by being intoxicated from scotch and from Teddy and Teddy's eyes. There were some texts from his mom, asking how he's doing. How was the flight. How were the kids.
He responds and takes a deep breath while typing the text. "Flight was good. Gonna stay for a few days. Spending Christmas here". She responds "with Teddy?" He smiles. His mom has always liked Teddy. "Yes. And the kids" He responds. "OK" Then that was it. That was the conversation. And he slips his phone back in his pocket and pours himself and her another glass of scotch.
Newly bathed kids came running out and gave him a hug.
"Good night" Leo says running full speed back into Allison's bedroom. He chuckles. Is there a race? A prize for whoever sleeps early. Why are they always running.
Allison took her time, on the other hand. She sweetly reaches her arms out asking to be picked up. So he obliges. He holds his sweet girl. He knows these days will fly by and next thing you know she's fighting him about something inconsequential.
"Good night, pinto bean" He says, giving her a squeeze.
"Good night daddy. I'm glad you're here" She says sleepily and wriggles out of his grasp, so he puts her down gently. She skips to her bedroom. Teddy was standing by the door smiling at him before following their daughter into the bedroom.
It hurts that time has passed and they missed all this. It sucked that he and Teddy had different experiences in raising their children. He imagines it's so much worse for her, only seeing the kids a few times a year. He can't imagine.
He notices something in the corner of his eye. Snow was falling. He can see big flakes under the street lamp. And all these feelings about Teddy and all the warm gooey emotion resurfaced because even after everything, she's still the Teddy he's always known.
He hears her footsteps and resumes the spot she left. Her head is back on his shoulder. He notes that her hair still smelled the same, years later.
"It's snowing" He whispers.
She lifts her head and follows his gaze. She leans her entire body against him.
"It is" she says
He can't help it, but he lifts her onto her kitchen island and kisses her. Familiar patterns. Him, kissing her on her kitchen counter. Her, legs wrapped around his waist hands holding onto his face.
It's the feeling of his hands on her ass, pulling her close. He's deep, deep in her. Her fingers in his hair, tugging. Their bodies, sweaty bodies, pressed against each other. Moving rhythmically. Her arms wrapped around his neck. His lips attached to her neck. She's on top during this round. She's trying hard not to scream. His firm hands squeezing.
It has been long time since she felt this good.
"Teddy" He mutters against her neck.
"Mm?"
"Fuck"
"I know" She pants.
Whatever consequence this night brings, she'll take it. She'll take it because it can't be as bad as not having him in his life.
That last mini-section was supposed to be for the next part but I couldn't wait. Also thoughts?
