EXTRA: OUR BODIES WERE MAPS
"Loving you was loving war.
When the bloodshed ended,
We couldn't even recognize each other,
Our bodies were maps
Of destruction and pain
Our faces the aftermath
Of an entire world in ashes."
Pandora's Box, Nikita Gill)
Once upon a time, there was a girl who ate a poisoned apple and fell into a deep sleep, that only true love's kiss could awaken.
Once upon a time, there was a girl who pricked her finger on a cursed spinning wheel and feel into a deep sleep, that only true love's kiss could awaken.
He has heard Kagome tell stories to Shippo at night by the campfire. He has seen those moving pictures in her era tell the same tales, over and over again.
But those girls are all asleep. Poisoned, cursed, but asleep.
Kikyo has not been poisoned. The only curse she is under is that she is a walking golem of bone and graveyard dirt. She is not asleep, cannot even fall asleep, for she is dead. There is no breath in her lungs, no blood pumps through her veins. She is as cold as a corpse when they touch. There is no soul inside of her.
He has never heard one of Kagome's stories with a girl like that.
Does not even know if there is enough true love between the two of them to save her.
But, watching the happiness bloom between his brother and his oldest friend, Inuyasha finds that he has, for the first time in a long time, the fluttering feeling in his stomach that he is shocked to recognize as hope. If his brother, as blood thirsty and violent and uncaring as he is, can find that a bright and beautiful and good woman fall in love with him, and, even potentially more shocking, he with her, than who was to say that there was no hopeful future for Inuyasha and Kikyo?
Kagome is right, about their strength. While he won't admit it, he knows that his brother is stronger than him. And now, with Kagome at his side, there is a flood of miko power the taiyoukai has access to that bolsters his strength even more. But there is still a lethargic flow of power beneath Inuyasha's own skin, a connection to this land of his father's that he had never noticed or felt before his battle with his brother. He does not know if it will stay, if he will keep it, now that Sesshomaru has met all of their father's requirements, but while he has it, he feels that he should make use of it.
Naraku has pulled demons from his body, made the flesh grow and multiply into a form that he wishes. Kagome has told him tales of artificial humans from her stories, or witches who turn fish into girls, or men into beasts, or children into animals.
It tells him that that there is a chance, however slight, that his newfound strength and Kikyo's enormous well of power can join and find a way to save her.
"So you're just leaving?"
He snorts at the monk. "I'm coming back. Besides," he tosses a disgusted look over towards his brother and Kagome, who are sitting with their heads bent together until their foreheads are touching, their fingers intertwined, "I don't think they'll even notice I'm gone."
"I think it's kind of sweet that you're giving them some time together," Sango said. "It's very grown up of you."
The look he gives her is blank.
"You're going to look for Kikyo, aren't you?"
"Yeah…" He shifts his stance, continuing when Sango would have spoken up, no doubt with something scathing. "Kagome said something… She said that there might be a way to save her, that it was worth it to try." This time, when he casts a glance at the couple, there is no ire in his eyes. There is a sad, wanting – a yearning for something that is out of his reach, but within his view. "And… I do want to try. I have to."
There's a long, contemplative moment of silence. "Look at you, all grown up." Leave it to Miroku to alleviate the tension with a well-placed comment.
Inuyasha shoots him a disgruntled glare out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah, well, be sure to tell Kagome where I went. Don't know when I'll be back, but don't get lazy and stop looking for jewel shards while I'm gone." He paused. "But maybe hang out for a little bit in case that mangy wolf shows up when he hears about this." Though Inuyasha would dearly enjoy watching Koga try to snatch Kagome from Sesshomaru's arm (if the prince was even that dumb), there was an itch under his skin to get moving.
"We will, Inuyasha, don't worry. And, good luck," Sango says, her expression softening into one of sisterly affection. She pulls him into a quick hug before he can object. And then, before he can bluster or complain, Miroku does the same. "Let us know if you need any help," she adds as they both pull away.
For a moment, there's a lump in his throat that these people would be willing to drop everything and come help him with something that doesn't concern him at all, even after everything he had done, how he had acted, just to help him find his own happily ever after. "Thank, guys," he says, his voice gruff. "Well, see ya!"
And he leaves without a backward glance.
He doesn't know where this road will take him, but he feels good about the journey in a way that he hasn't in a long, long time. He's not chasing Naraku, or jewel shards, or demons. He's not after a woman who he refused to admit was his best friend and nothing more. He's looking to take back all the happy years he could have had with the woman that he really loved before a jealous, bitter man ripped it all from between his fingers.
He's going after his own happy ending.
