The lone moon hung quietly in the night sky, shining through the window of the house the Mysidians had given the man who introduced himself as Golbez. A strange kindness given who he was, but a welcomed one nonetheless. However, the man who called himself Theodor had other things on his mind: another sleepless night.
It's a mistake to be here, Theodor thought to himself, beginning the same string of grievances that plagued him countless nights before. I don't deserve to be on this planet. I've hurt too many people. He sat up and got out of bed to get a better look at the moon.
"Why did I give him my name?" he said out loud. "I barely know him. I hurt him. I hurt the people close to him. Is that how I'm supposed to apologize?!" The otherwise empty room had no answers to give him. "Calm down Theo- Golbez. You don't get to use that name anymore." He began to make himself some tea, another staple of his at least tri-weekly ritual.
The worst part about making tea, he thought, is how the fact that it gives you time alone with your thoughts. However, his mind had taken a different track from his usual episodes. Tonight, he was focused on his name.
Golbez. His "new" name. The one he had gone by for years. The he was used to, or at least he thought he was. But if he was so used to it, why did it make his skin crawl just now? Why did the thought of calling himself that again make him want to retch? That's the name he deserved now, his burden to bear.
And then another unusual track. That dragoon. Kain… Highwind, I think it was? He had seen him on the mountain before. Training, he said. Golbez didn't get a question back. They mostly ignored each other, keeping a respectful distance.
The two had a tenuous connection. He's my brother's best friend. Or was, at any rate, Theodor thought to himself. No, Golbez. Truthfully, they had met before. Months ago. Back when he still wore that black armor. Kain had been a puppet. Golbez's puppet. But he seemed a little too easy to control.
Did he really want to do all that? Was that his own will? Theodor shook his head. Fine, Theodor. He felt a little better. But he was confused. Was it really that easy to turn on your loved ones? There had to be something more to it… right? A delicious smell wafted through his mind palace. The tea was done.
As he savored his cup, he noticed one thing. He couldn't stop thinking about that dragoon. His motivation, his past, his name his… face… In one last unusual act, he gulped the rest of his tea down. It was still a little too hot, but he didn't care. Yes, it was the tea that was hot. Definitely the tea. And now that he was significantly more calm, he returned to bed.
It was the best night of sleep Theodor had in a long, long time.
