Hi,

Thank you for the reviews. It warms my heart to hear your thoughts about what I´m writing. Dumbledore is a complex character (which makes him so interesting!). He shoulders huge responsibility and has millions of reasons for his actions. He gives out impression of being all-knowing and all-capable but is in the end just a human. Severus has always seen Dumbledore´s faults. He doesn´t like Dumbledore, doesn´t trust him, but still respects him for his intelligence, influence and sheer power. I hope that you find their interaction interesting.

-EveryJohn

"Do you know, Severus Snape, why Hogwarts does not teach Dark Magic to young witches and wizards?"

"You told us yesterday, because it is dangerous." Severus would have rolled his eyes had that not been so utterly childish. Instead he stated the answer and maintained a stony expression.

"Are you aware of what makes magic dark?"

For supposedly being "just a talk with an old man" this meeting with Headmaster had soon began to remind awful lot an interrogation or a study quiz, Severus thought sourly. He frowned and changed his position on the uncomfortably soft maroon armchair. Headmaster had offered him tea and biscuits. He had declined on principle. Headmaster had raised his thick gray eyebrows to show his good-natured amusement and poured a cup just for himself.

"Ministry has a classification system. Basically if magic is considered harmful enough it could end up on the banned list", Severus explained shortly, wondering where Headmaster was heading with this.

Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat and nodded. He shared a look with the other man in the room, their new Defense professor. Professor Bones had sat quietly on couch ever since Severus´s arrival. Headmaster had offered him too to have some tea but like Severus he had declined. Severus did not know what his purpose of being there served. Until now he had seemed to just observe their exchange with a tint of amusement.

"You are correct about that. That is exactly how it is nowadays." Professor Dumbledore admitted. "Ministry of magic, however, did not come up with the concept of dark magic. It is as old as magic itself."

Severus contemplated a moment but did not see disadvantage in answering the challenge in honest. He licked his lips while forming an adequate answer in his mind. Let Headmaster and Defense professor see that, he had done his extra homework. "I suppose, you must mean ancient classification systems?" He asked nonchalantly.

Headmaster nodded encouragingly and Severus continued: "It could be said that early wizards were pragmatists. They saw that most magic could be used both in good and evil. They did not care about wizard´s intentions either. Most important definition they came up was that dark magic always requires sacrifice. At first it was thought that by rituals the sacrifice could be directed away from the caster. Later theoreticians stated that while it was relatively easy to power dark spells with external sacrifices, a part of the sacrifice was always paid by the wizard performing the magic as he was in the role of the active link and catalyst."

Severus could see that Headmaster was surprised by his knowledge. He could not say, however, if the other wizard was pleased or not. "You are truly well-read of the subject, Mr. Snape. Very well. Could you explain, what kind of sacrifice is meant in this context?"

"Sometimes physical. Caster of the magic may lose blood or organs or limbs even. That is almost always avoidable, though, if they are careful and direct the sacrifice efficiently. What has still been unavoidable to this day is the mental backlash."

"And what is meant by mental backlash?"

"Oh, it is interesting topic and still subject of much debate. But I guess, sometimes permanent changes in mood or memory." Severus said and let the slow, intentional smirk twist his lips. The professors in the school thought him to be creepy and dark, anyway. "And personality changes. At times even complete madness. Though, the amount of damage is highly dependent on the capability of the witch or wizard in question. Usually one is capable of healing from the damage with time. Still, there are some, who say that Dark magic always changes the person. Unforgivables are thought to be most harmful, affecting the very soul."

Headmaster´s expression stayed neutral as he carefully listened Severus´s explanation. After the young Slytherin finished, he sipped thoughtfully his tea. The warm, golden liquid emitted fresh odors of cardamom and fennel. Headmaster looked back to Severus. "In the light of your words, you are aware of the harmfulness of such magic but still used Imperio. Why so?"

"With all respect, Headmaster, feeling a bit jumpy afterward is not great but I would not exchange it to Maticore´s nails."

The Defence professor was caught in a coughing fit. Even professor Dumbledore seemed slightly amused by his directness. He adjusted his half-moon shaped eye glasses and leaned forward. The intelligent sky blue eyes filled with calm curiosity as they looked Severus for a long time. Severus felt a soft stroke of Headmaster´s mind on his mind walls. Not an intrusion. More like a confirmation that the walls were firmly at their place. "You have vast knowledge of the Dark Arts, Mr. Snape. Despite it not being in the curriculum. Do you have a specific reason for your interest?"

Severus stared back to Professor Dumbledore with suspicion. Were they that daft that they thought him to bare his heart and elaborate his reasons? "Actually, now that you asked... Staying alive has been my long time goal. Surprisingly difficult to accomplish, that", Severus muttered cuttingly.

Headmaster sighed. "Clever young man like you without doubt knows that a war is coming", he changed the subject and rose to his feet. He ambled through the room and stopped at his familiar. Severus did not know what to think of Headmaster´s creature. Every time he had been in Dumbledore´s office in past, the bird had been there. It always seemed to stare at him. It was unnerving. "Sometimes, in face of great adversity we get a chance to see clearer than we ever did before. Who we are, I believe, is not defined by our house, our skills, our blood status or even our past mistakes or successes. Who we really are, is who we choose to be at this moment. If we choose the easy way... or the right way, Mr. Snape." Headmaster stared pointedly at him. "At times we have to decide if staying alive is enough of a goal in life."

After saying that Professor Dumbledore turned his attention back to the bird. Even Severus had noticed that the creature´s natural shine was down from the usual and it seemed somehow less alert. Once again, the phoenix bird locked its black pearl-like eyes on him. Severus scowled. What are you ogling, creature! He sent angrily though his mind. Surprisingly he was returned with an answer. Not really words, but more like impressions and feelings. Concern, compassion, pride... shapes, smells, feelings. He did not really understand them but one impression was more concrete and he was quite sure that he knew what the phoenix meant by it.

"Headmaster, I think your familiar is simply feeling cold", Severus muttered. Phoenix birds were creatures of fire. While almost nothing was able to kill the creatures he could imagine that they did not relish in the chilly days of Scottish autumns.

Headmaster´s eyes widened. "Oh, Is that it, Fawkes? And I even let you eat ice mice yesterday. I apologize, for not realizing this earlier." He turned immediately to light up the fireplace. Natural use of wandless magic told a lot about old wizard´s unparalleled ability and power. The warmth immediately began radiating to the room. The Phoenix bird flit up and landed on Severus´s shoulder, nearer to the fireplace. Severus scooted it away. The bird shrieked grudgingly before hopping on an empty arm chair.

Severus discovered that Headmaster had been watching his interaction with the bird with a fond expression.

"Thank you, Mr. Snape, for helping Fawkes. He rarely complains." Professor Dumbledore said, gentleness in his voice. "What I was talking about? Oh, I was talking about choices that define us. Unfortunately, this concerns every young person graduating from Hogwarts. War does not give children time to grow up."

Headmaster turned to Severus. He looked old and tired and his face mirrored the worry he felt.

Severus turned his eyes away.

"What is it that you are thinking, Mr. Snape?" Edgar Bones the Defense teacher asked. It was the first time he had addressed Severus directly during the meeting.

Severus snorted bitterly. "Headmaster makes it sound like we all are equals. It is curious that Headmaster puts so much weight on free will, when he himself has oppressed it at times to suit his needs. For me there certainly have never been 'good' nor 'easy' options. I dare say, that at this point I would be pleased with either one."

Professor Dumbledore nodded slowly. "You are angry, Severus. I understand that. I have mistreated you before. I thought I had my reasons, but it does not change the fact. I simply ask that you will not let your resentment of me to drag you somewhere you do not want to be."

Severus´s eyes hardened and his mouth clenched. "If it did... Would that break your tender heart, Headmaster?" He snorted.

"Oh, believe me, Mr. Snape, it would", Headmaster admitted quietly.

The furious young man and the old wizard stared each other in silence. Finally professor Dumbledore sighed. "You blame me for never offering you a choice, Severus. Very well, then..." He closed his eyes and opened them with a newfound resolution. "I will offer you one today. Light or Darkness. Hope or revenge." Headmaster´s blue eyes shimmered. He almost begged the young man: "Choose the side of light, Severus Snape, and fight the darkness. I know that you are perceptive and able to see the difference in right and wrong. In the war, no-one will survive alone, you must have realized this. You are brilliant young man and darkness would gladly exploit your brilliance, but what could it give you back? Real friendship? Honor? Safety? You already know that darkness comes with a sacrifice. In this war Voldemort is the one directing that sacrifice and all of us will pay... Both the victims and those who refer themselves as his allies." Headmaster shook his head grimly. "I can´t promise you happiness or even safety, Severus. You know that. But I promise that you will not be left alone. I will offer you my trust if you offer me yours."

Severus´s eyes faltered revealing his confusion "I fight for myself", he stated with a soft voice.

"Weight your heart carefully, Severus Snape. Our choices shape our lives."

Severus looked down. Inside his calm shell, he suddenly felt suffocated by his raging feelings. He was shocked that Dumbledore finally attempted to recruit him. Now of all times he offered him trust. Severus could not help but look at that trust with suspicion. Headmaster spoke of two-way trust, but Severus knew the old wizard enough to know it would never be absolute. Headmaster would never share all his plans with him or any of the other allies. Severus admitted that the old wizard would be fool to do so. This was war and too much information in wrong hands, would be measured in human lives. Furthermore, in all honesty, there was too much hurt and distrust between him and Headmaster. Headmaster could not help being suspicious of someone as obviously dark as him, and Severus would always remember the times when Headmaster had taken the side of Marauders against him. Still, a part of Severus hoped that he could take up old wizard´s offer. Professor Dumbledore offered a ray of hope, leading out of the bottomless abyss but Severus could not quite bring himself to believe that this ray would be able to carry his weight. Dumbledore did not know, that the Dark mark already marred his skin and soul, that it kept sending dull pain over his arm even at the moment. Dumbledore´s fragile trust would undoubtedly grumble if he were to witness the taint of Voldemort´s soul mark in one of his supposed allies.

"If there once was a choice, Professor Dumbledore, it is now gone. You are already too late", Severus grunted. He forced the defiant words through a lump in his throat.

He was not alone like Dumbledore thought. It would have been better if he was, but no, he had dragged unsuspecting Regulus Black with him into this disaster. He carried some responsibility for the boy, if nothing else.

"I am sorry to hear that, Mr. Snape." Headmaster sounded weary. "I must acknowledge your decision, despite not agreeing with it. I hope that it will grant you, what your heart desires." Professor Dumbledore did not believe it, that was clear, but he understood that nothing he could say would sway the young wizard. "This was all I wanted to talk with you, Severus Snape. Thank you, for coming, despite the outcome of our discussion. I want to offer you my gratefulness for stopping the manticore yesterday. The Hogwarts and me personally owe you for your act of selflessness. You have valiance in you, young man. Don´t let it die." Headmaster offered his hand to the younger wizard. Severus took it and Professor Dumbledore shook his hand while smiling ruefully. "I wonder... Had your choice been different, if I had talked to you earlier? If so, I want you to know, that I bitterly regret my tarrying."

Severus nodded acknowledging Headmaster´s words but not answering to them. He came to realization that Professor Dumbledore probably really meant, what he said.

"You are free to go, my son."