Hey! Breathe and enjoy!

M.

Chapter 70

Saturday, October 13, 2012.

Sam looks at herself in the mirror for the umpteenth time. There are piles of clothes piled on her bed. Clothes she'd tried on and discarded for one reason or another. Shaking her head, most of the clothes are black, she wonders when she stopped using the colorful clothes she used to wear before all this mess.

She feels eyes on her. When she turns around, she finds Parker grinning at her.

"That one looks fine too," P says.

"You think it's not overdoing it?" Sam asks. Checking herself once again in the mirror.

It's nothing more than yet another black ensemble. A black pencil skirt, a tight fit black sweater, and a black leather jacket, and dark leather boots. What makes Parker smile is the fact that she has on makeup that brings out her eyes. Tiny earrings and the ever-present chain that Parker knew held a white gold wedding band and now also a pair of dog tags.

"Not at all, you are looking amazing, mom. Jessica is already here and so are Mia and Anna. Now… Care to tell me why you're so nervous?" Parker grinned.

"I'm not nervous." Sam shook her head.

"No, just worried about clothes," She grinned. "Can I know what's the occasion?"

"Ah, I told you before, didn't I?"

"Nope."

"It's General O'Neill's birthday party."

"Oh," she said. Not really knowing who he was, yet remembering the name. She also understood her mom was nervous as it is, without her trying to pry out more answers. "You're gorgeous, mom. Don't change again or you won't ever leave!" Parker giggled.

Sam risked a glance at her watch, "Shoot! I'm late. I'll be home soon, P."

"Have fun!"

"You too!" She said. "Don't stay up too late and don't eat too much junk!" Sam stopped for a second. Wondering if it was wise to leave her daughter with her older classmates, but then shook her head. Parker was even more levelheaded than she had been at her age.

"I know, I know… Don't worry."

"I always worry," Sam said, placing a soft kiss on Parker's hair.

Sam walked to her SUV and jumped in. She felt the urge to turn the GPS on, but the truth was she knew exactly where Jack's house was. Along with several routes as to how to get there, from the time he had bought it. In case, she ever needed to provide him with some sort of escape.

As she drove, she thought of what had transpired after Janet's party. The rumor mill was partial to believing Daniel's drunken words. That she had slept through the ladder and that's why she'd had to disappear, to begin with. The awful part was that there was some truth in his words. Daniel had voiced loudly that she had fucked Jack before she had left. Now everyone knew that, and there was proof. There was some cleaning that happened too, or so she figured. When the rumor mill also added that if 'the Generals had fucked' it had happened, when they were out of their direct chain of command.

On one drunken night, Daniel had made a bigger mess for her than before. He had visited her office first thing Monday morning to apologize. The damage was already done, though. The one thing that had started to shift people from that was that SG-1 was giving her support. They were shushing anyone who dared to speak ill about her.

They had also joined her at her table for lunch. That had been awkward at first but had gained her some brownie points with the crew.

Now, it had been just three days ago when the invitation happened. To say she was surprised when he had walked into her office. Dropped himself casually in a chair in front of her, waiting for her to finish her call. That was an understatement. She had issues concentrating when he had looked at her with those understanding eyes.

"You still have found nothing to put in that?" he asked. Pointing to the empty cabinets behind her. She shrugged.

"There's not much I can put in there that I can feel proud of."

"You should add your medals," he said. "It would help with the rumors. You know, if you show them off as if you are proud of those achievements."

"I'm not proud of them. I don't deserve them." She said honestly. No matter how further apart they were. Or how much time had passed since they'd had a normal conversation like regular human beings. She still couldn't find it in herself to lie to him.

"I'm sure you deserve them," he said softly.

"I'm sure someone thought I did." She shrugged. "I bet you aren't here to speak about my decorating skills or lack thereof."

"No. Actually… I came to invite you to my birthday party." Sam frowned. Her lips curved slightly, sadly.

"The big six-oh." She said. There were so many words left unsaid after that. Until he nodded, breaking whatever spell had taken over them.

"Yup, I'm throwing a small shindig this Saturday."

"But your birthday is in a week…." She frowned. Then it dawned on her. "You're going to Minnesota for the real date." She stated. He nodded once, curtly. "Are you sure you really want me there, sir?"

"If I had to pick anyone, I wouldn't do it without, that would be you, Carter. I know that. I've been there too many fucking times." He said, she gulped. "As I said, it'll be small. You can bring that kid of yours if you want."

'That kid of yours' she had thought then and shaken her head. "She has a pajama party that night, sir." She hadn't until then, but she'd decided. She wouldn't force a relationship with Parker on him. Besides throwing Parker into the midst of his birthday party, surprising everyone with their daughter. Especially when the rumor mill was already exploding, wasn't something she wanted to do.

"Oh," he said. For a second she thought he was disappointed. "But you'll come, right?"

"I'll try, sir."

"And if I make it an order?" He joked. She gave him a barely-there smile. When she wanted nothing more than to rush into his arms and kiss him, for trying to bring back whatever remains of a friendship was left between them.

Now here she was, parking in front of his house. Trying to decide if it was a good idea or not. The lights of another car shone through her cabin and she took a deep breath. Moments later, Daniel was knocking on her window. She rolled down the window.

"Hey, Sam." He smiled. As per usual now it was a small tentative smile drenched with sorrow and guilt. "Are you coming or going?" he asked then.

"Hey, General." Vala also said.

"Daniel, Vala. I was just thinking I'm awfully late to be arriving."

"Don't worry, they have me. I'm always late." Vala grinned almost proudly. "And we aren't late. Everyone knows Jack likes to invite us an hour earlier, so I'll show up on time."

"Does he?" Sam frowned in confusion.

"Yeah. He started when we arrived two hours late on time. She knows it and doesn't care, anyway." Daniel shrugged. "See, that's Mitchell arriving too."

"I never thought I would live to the day I'd see Samantha Carter arriving late," Daniel joked as they started walking towards the front door.

"I got distracted," she offered a bit awkwardly. Vala rolled her eyes.

"Give her a break, Daniel. It was most likely thanks to that kid we don't know she has." Sam blanched at that. "Oh, hey Jack! Happy not-birthday." Vala said. Pecking his cheek loudly as he stood by his opened door.

"Whoa, this is a miracle. You are on time for once?!" Jack joked. Then he stood still when he noticed the one person who hadn't stepped inside his home yet. "Carter, are you planning on freezing outside? Or are ya gonna come in at some point?" He said. The twinkling in his eyes told her he was happy to see her there. That she was welcomed.

"So, Carter got everything settled for that little pajama party back home?" Jack asked. Then held a flinch in when he noticed how poorly worded that was. A slap to the back of his head coming from Cassie came soon. Sam gave him an awkward half-smile.

"Yes. Parker was settling in perfectly when I left her with her friends."

"Parker? Are we going to meet her anytime soon?" Daniel asked.

"I have," Jack frowned. "And so has Cassie. Maybe you're the unlucky one, Space monkey. Okay! I'd better go set the grill if we want to eat at some point tonight."

"You haven't started it?" Cassie asked in dismay.

"Yeah, well... You know them!" He waved towards Daniel and Vala. "I thought they wouldn't be here for another hour." Vala grinned.

"We can come back later if you wish." She winked at him and gave Sam a knowing look that had her fighting to control a blush. "So, I've heard you two were an item for a short time," Vala said, wriggling her eyebrows. Sam looked uncomfortable but nodded.

"Oh… Janet!" She shouted. Janet came rolling her eyes.

"What, Vala?"

"We need a girl's night out!"

"Why this time?" Janet asked amusedly.

"So, General Carter can spill all the details about her Jack time. I'm willing to bet it was short but highly satisfying."

"Vala!" Cassie said, blushing. "God! That was something I didn't ever want to imagine."

"And people say I'm the one with the dirty mind." Vala grinned.

Somehow the night was a whole different event. Sam found herself feeling a bit more at ease in their presence. Enough to even have a beer to try to loosen up slightly.

The beer didn't work that much, because she kept feeling Jack's eyes roaming her body. She kept stealing glances towards him. He kept grazing her every time he could, sending shivers down her spine. She had noticed his pupils dilating as he watched her, his lips parting ever so slightly.

She had excused herself to the bathroom at some point. If only to get away from his heated gaze and gain some control over her own. She had splashed cold water overheated cheeks. Deciding she was going to need some wine if she was going to pretend that the blush was the result of her drink.

It had been a bad idea and at the same time such a great one. She had slid into his kitchen. Where she knew the drinks were at the disposal of whoever wanted to pick them. So had he. He placed himself just behind her, trapping her between the counter and his body, yet not touching her at all.

Her hand trembled a little as she lowered the wine bottle, trying not to spill it or break it. He had stretched over her to grab the whiskey that was hidden in the cupboard, effectively caressing her back with his warmth. She closed her eyes as he lowered the bottle on the right and pressed himself to her. Picking a glass that was closer to her left.

Sam wanted nothing more than to press back against him. As her heart raced in her throat and need pooled low in her belly. He cocooned her between his arms as he poured his drink in the glass. She sucked her lip to avoid the moan that wanted to get out, as she felt him take a deep breath by her ear.

He growled lowly. Lowered the glass and the bottle and without a warning placed a small kiss just below her ear. Someone laughed. Bringing them back to the present and how public the situation was for them to be doing something like this.

Jack didn't ask for forgiveness. Sam didn't complain about it either. "Thanks for coming, it means a lot." He whispered to her ear before he grabbed the glass and disappeared outside. Needing the cool air to shake himself from what he was about to do.

If it weren't for the laughter. He would've turned her around and kissed her senseless. That would've been the best birthday gift he could've gotten.

Sam stood on shaky legs for a while. Trying to calm down her racing heart. She downed the glass of wine in one swift movement. She wondered what would've happened if that laugh hadn't interrupted him. Would've she felt the warmth of his lips on hers again? Would they be able to stop themselves if they kissed after so long?

She excused herself, going home not so long after that. Not before searching his eyes, to reassure him, she wasn't running from him. Just from the situation. He understood clearly. He would've dragged her to his room and not let her out until they had both retrieved some much needed lost time. Yet, she had a daughter that needed her. He couldn't just keep Sam from her because he wanted to selfishly make love to her until they fell asleep, tangled, and spent.

His lips curved slightly… Maybe for his real birthday.