AATS
Chapter 36
Black Ivy
As creeping ivy clings to wood or stone,
And hides the ruin that it feeds upon,
So sophistry, cleaves close to and protects
Sin's rotten trunk, concealing its defects.
-William Cowper "The Progress of Error"
They were always waiting for him when he came home. He liked to surprise them when he could. Those really were his favorite moments. Nothing was ever more important than his return. No matter what they were doing. No matter what they held in their hands or who they were talking to, everything was abandoned as soon as he entered the room. They would always run to him with beautiful smiles and open arms.
"Master Gaignun!"
They almost knocked him down. He wrapped an arm around each of them as they hugged him tightly, each claiming their half.
"I've missed you too," Gaignun said, as he always said.
He always meant it, and they always squeezed him tighter after he said it. Mary pulled away first. Gaignun could see by the set of her lips that she had something on her mind. She was practically squirming with it.
"Master Gaignun," she started before sending a quick glance to Shelley.
Shelley pulled away to stand beside her sister. They were up to something.
"Yes?" He asked, intrigued but a little apprehensive.
"How could you keep it a secret this long?" Mary finally shouted.
"Keep what a secret?"
Mary crossed her arms at his question.
"Mary, we talked about this," Shelley chided but Gaignun could see that Mary had been waiting for this moment, and she was not going to let anyone stop her from getting this off her chest.
"The Little Master's lady friend. You know all about her, don'cha? How long have the two of you been hidin' her from us?"
"Lady friend?"
Mary's arms dropped heavily to her sides and she swung her head in disbelief to Shelley. She shook hers in response.
"I think you'd better start from the beginning."
Gaignun had arrived on the Foundation a little before noon. After having a late lunch with Mary and Shelley he had left them to head for the beach house.
"We suspect that the Little Master might have someone special," Shelley had clarified.
"Got his head in the clouds. If he's here he's looking for excuses to leave."
"We're worried. We were hoping you would be able to shed some light on the situation."
"But you don't know anythin'. The Little Master's been hidin from all of us!"
It had begun to rain. It pattered lightly against the windows as Gaignun's hovercar glided through the streets. He'd been trying to reach Jr. since he'd arrived but his end of the link was blocked off, almost inaccessible. Without the girls, Gaignun might not have even been able to locate him.
Gaignun remembered their last conversation. It had been the reason Gaignun had come home, even against his better judgment. He hoped that he would walk into the beach house and find Jr. with a lover. It would be a relief, fun even, to find Jr. wrapped up with a pretty secret he'd so carefully hidden.
Nothing about that felt right to Gaignun. It would explain the lockdown of their spiritual link but it wouldn't explain the way he'd come crashing through just a few days ago. It wouldn't explain the urgency, the fear, or the deep sadness left in the wake of it.
Had it only been a few days or had it been weeks? Gaignun rubbed his temples and sighed. He was losing time fast. He had to be more diligent.
The car pulled up to the beach house and Gaignun exited, walking quickly to avoid the rain. He had been so worried about Jr. that he hadn't stopped to check the weather. He made it to the porch just as the rain began to pick up. Gaignun wiped water off of his suit before it could soak in and entered through the front door. It was dark inside. It made Gaignun nervous.
"Jr.?" He called, turning the lights on as he entered the living room.
Mary and Shelley had neglected to tell Gaignun about the redecoration so when the lights came on, and he was met with the dark gray walls and red furniture he was taken aback for a moment.
"Uh... Jr.?" Gaignun called again. He stopped to check in the guest room on his way through. He was a little disappointed to find it empty. He'd been hoping to find some kind of evidence to support Mary and Shelley's theory but the room remained untouched. It had even been spared redecoration. There was still a chance though. It was more likely that if this mysterious lover were to exist that they would be sequestered in the suite.
Gaignun hesitated as he made his way through the kitchen. He wasn't sure what he was walking into and although he was sure that Jr. didn't have a lover the girls' theory wasn't baseless. Gaignun still couldn't reach him. He sincerely didn't want to disturb anyone.
After a few minutes of standing outside the door and debating what to do he decided that he didn't have a choice and opened the door.
The room was as dark as the rest of the house. There was a sharp movement from the bed and for a moment Gaignun thought that he'd been wrong, and he had startled the lovers. The movement was followed shortly by a low, angry growl and Gaignun realized that it was just Alby.
"You're not sleeping with my brother, are you?" Gaignun asked as he rounded the bed.
Jr. was the only one in it. He lay on his side, curled snugly under the blankets. Alby had been cuddled under there with him until Gaignun entered. Now he laid protectively in the curve of Jr.'s side, eyes locked on Gaignun.
Gaignun walked over to Jr. and reached for his shoulder in an effort to gently shake him awake. Alby snapped at his fingers when they came too close. Gaignun pulled back just in time. Alby's defensive growling turned into a bark.
He'd never understood why Alby hated him so much. Gaignun had assumed it was something in his programming that Jr. himself had manipulated. A simple prank. It had never been a true problem until now. The joke was played-out and far from funny. He'd have Jr. adjust him when he woke up. Alby's barking was irritating and shrill enough to wake the dead so Gaignun expected Jr. to wake up and put a stop to it. But the barking continued unabated and Jr. remained asleep. Alby had even moved closer to Jr.'s head in order to deter Gaignun from touching him and was barking over his ear.
Jr. didn't stir. Something was wrong.
Gaignun tried their link again and was again met with the lockdown. He looked around the room, hoping for some kind of clue. Nothing was out of place. The room was practically spotless. Jr.'s discarded clothes were in a hamper by the bathroom door. His guns were beside him on the bed but nothing else was out of place. It was as if Jr. had simply walked into the beach house and crawled into bed.
Gaignun was going to have to try to break through that barrier if he couldn't shake him awake. It would be extremely exhausting, maybe even painful but not impossible. Well, it would be impossible if he didn't find a way to keep Alby from barking.
Gaignun left the room and pulled a tall red chair away from their new glass dining room table. He dragged it back to the suite and set it close to Jr. Alby became more vicious. The second Gaignun was seated he jumped in front of Jr., hackles raised. He was such a tiny thing but Gaignun could see that his teeth were indeed sharp. The little thing could do some serious damage if he wasn't careful.
"Alby," Gaignun said. "I think he's hurt. I'm just here to help."
Gaignun didn't know much about dogs. He'd never cared for animals and had never wanted a pet. Despite that, he was pretty certain that dogs understood language to some extent. Gaignun hoped Alby would catch a few words. He was a spoiled little thing and people were always talking to him. He must have picked up a few phrases at least. Gaignun hoped he understood the meaning in his words. Alby didn't understand or didn't trust Gaignun, or he understood and didn't trust Gaignun enough to back down.
He continued to bark. Jr. continued to sleep. Gaignun's irritation continued to grow.
He took a deep breath, met the dog's eyes, and said, with great difficulty, "Alby."
The barking stopped instantly. Alby's ears stayed perked.
"I'm not here to hurt Jr. You can stay near him if you want but you have to keep quiet and you have to relax. I promise that I'm only here to help."
Alby's ears quivered and he blinked slowly. He seemed conflicted at first as if he didn't want to obey Gaignun, but he gave in quickly enough. He flattened his ears and crawled under the blanket, burrowing his way into Jr.'s arms. His little black nose stuck out from the top of the blanket, just under Jr.'s chin.
Gaignun reached experimentally across him to rest his hand on Jr.'s shoulder. Alby whined for a moment but then fell silent. He didn't try to disturb Gaignun again, but he watched with big, purple eyes, studying him. Gaignun really hated to use his voice, even on an animal but it was much easier than losing fingers.
"Jr.," Gaignun said, shaking him by the shoulder.
Gaignun wouldn't say that it was easy to forget who or what Jr. was when he was asleep but it was so much easier to think of him as a child; small, defenseless, and in need of protection. Jr. was always so wild and loud that it was almost a blessing, a privilege to see him still and quiet.
"I really don't want to do this," Gaignun said, placing his fingers against his temple. "It would be better for everyone if you'd just wake up."
His battle had become a violent one and it was risky to delve into Jr. like this. Mary and Shelley had said that they hadn't heard from Jr. in four days, however, and Gaignun had the sinking feeling that he'd been like this the whole time. The knowledge of what he was about to do soured in his gut. It would be quick, he promised himself. All he needed to do was pull on Jr.'s link hard enough to bring him back.
The walls Jr. had placed at the forefront of his mind were strong but not strong enough to keep Gaignun away, just strong enough that Gaignun wouldn't be able to break in without a fight. As Gaignun pressed against that wall to test its strength he was surprised to find that it fell away fairly easily. There had only been the illusion of strength. It must have weakened in his sleep, Gaignun thought. Now it only served to keep Jr.'s thoughts away from him. Four days in a deep sleep really didn't make for much of a defense. Gaignun crept carefully behind Jr.'s barrier.
Jr.'s mind was blank. There were no thoughts. There was only silence, an eternal emptiness. It almost felt as if he wasn't there, as if he'd been plucked from his body. Gaignun was exploring an empty shell. There was nothing to grab onto, no one to bring back. The feeling unsettled him.
The last time he had done this, simply being in Jr.'s mind had been enough to wake him up. He's still in there, Gaignun reassured himself. He's just excellent at hiding from me. He would be. He should be.
Gaignun felt as if he were a doctor inspecting a patient. His reach was cold and clinical as he tried to find Jr. in the silence. He found nothing, no one, and the longer he searched the more worried he became. The longer he had to search the more dangerous it became for Jr.
But was there any danger if he couldn't find him? Gaignun wasn't able to hide like this. He couldn't even begin to imagine how he could hide from Jr. His own walls weren't so strong that Jr. couldn't rip them down so how was Jr. able to do this?
Gaignun continued his search, growing more anxious with every empty moment. The first stings of panic were beginning to prick at him when he finally found him. It was a faint feeling but it was the first he'd felt in his almost thirty minutes of searching. He grasped onto to him as quickly and as tightly as he could. It almost felt as if Jr. was reaching back as if he'd been searching for Gaignun too.
There you are, Gaignun sent as he clasped onto him. It's time to wake up.
Gaignun had thought it would be easy at this point, that Jr. would allow Gaignun to pull him back out, but he was met with resistance. Powerful, stubborn, almost frantic resistance. The silence in Jr.'s mind disappeared in the struggle.
Stop fighting me, Gaignun sent.
His thoughts were reaching him, Jr. seemed aware of them, but he continued to fight. Jr. was trying to say something but his words were muffled. Their dull echo rang in Gaignun's ears louder and louder, urgent and pleading. Gaignun didn't understand what was happening to Jr. but he knew of one way to pull him back out. He didn't want to do it. He would hate himself for it but if it would bring Jr. back to his body he didn't have a choice.
Wake up, Jr.
Each syllable was acrid, burned his tongue as they slipped past his lips. It worked like a spell, like a charm. Jr. stopped fighting. Gaignun could truly feel him now. He grabbed for him and began to pull. Just as he had begun to drag Jr. back to the world of the living something stopped him.
Gaignun's hold on Jr. suddenly vanished. He found that not only had he lost Jr. but he couldn't retreat. He couldn't move at all. Jr. was a small, blinking light at the end of a tunnel. Gaignun reached for him, pushing against whatever was holding him back.
Jr.-
Violent, searing pain shot through him the instant the thought left him. It came again and again, forcing him back until he was completely out. Gaignun pulled away from Jr. and wrapped his hands around his head. The pain bowed him, and he leaned over with a low groan and clenched teeth.
Gaignun heard Jr. roll over. He was talking in his sleep but Gaignun couldn't make out much of it. His ears were still ringing. His vision was foggy and uncertain. The pain wouldn't let up. It pressed against the inside of his skull, wormed its way into the bone. Gaignun could feel it all the way down to his jaw, in his teeth. When he swallowed it felt like he was choking down the pain.
But when Jr. mumbled his name Gaignun heard it and stood, fighting to stay on his feet. Jr. was still asleep. His earlier peaceful expression had twisted into one of distress. Alby had crawled out from under the blanket and was seated on Jr.'s chest. His white ears twitched at Gaignun's name, and he turned the full fury of his little body toward him.
Gaignun stopped him with a hand and his voice.
"Bark again and I will disable you and give you to some unfortunate child two gate jumps away."
Alby shivered with restrained fury but he remained silent. Gaignun hurt too much to care. He stumbled his way out of the suite and to the couch. He pulled off his suit jacket, his tie, and popped open the first few buttons on his white shirt. Gaignun leaned back into the cushions and tried to wait out the pain.
Every inch of his skull hurt. It throbbed behind his eyes, against his temples and the bridge of his nose. He felt as if his head had been slammed against a wall. He tried to rub it away but that had only made it worse. He resolved to stay as still as possible and wait for it to die down.
He's slippery.
Gaignun groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.
I have enough of a headache. I don't need you adding to it.
But he didn't care about Gaignun's struggle or the all-consuming migraine.
What do you tell yourself when you do it?
Gaignun felt him like liquid metal in his veins.
Have you convinced yourself that you're in control? That you can protect him?
He's still alive. Gaignun replied, dropping his hand onto the couch.
Yuriev laughed. Gaignun seethed, clenched his jaw despite the pain.
All in good time.
There were no words in any language to properly describe the hatred Gaignun held for him. He was almost certain that his hatred was the only thing holding Yuriev back at times.
It must be so frustrating, not being able to help him. You two are so close after all.
Yuriev's sardonic laughter flowed through Gaignun. He could feel it in his own throat.
The devoted, responsible brother. When were you planning on telling him what you were really meant for? You're a smart man, Nigredo. You won't be able to keep this up forever.
Shut up!
Gaignun opened his eyes but the light was blinding. He turned off the light and shut them tight again. Only Yuriev could make him like this, or unmake him rather. He was a prisoner in his own body being slowly eaten alive by a ravenous, golden parasite.
Parasite. Interesting word choice.
Gaignun couldn't sit any longer. He stood abruptly and paced the floor, walking the length of the windows over and over in a perfect line. Even the powerful ache of his migraine wasn't enough to stop him.
Are the circumstances of your life so awful? Riches, women, fame, and power, there is nothing beyond your reach.
It wasn't you who brought me here.
Oh no, Yuriev replied, there was humor in his voice. I can't take the credit for that. I'll admit that it's been fun to watch you play human.
Gaignun slowed as he came to the end of the living room. The beach was a cold gray in the rain. All the warmth had been stolen from it, leaving behind a metallic lake and a concrete shore.
This transition doesn't have to be an unpleasant one. You know where my ambitions lie.
He did. There were no walls or barriers that could hold him back. Yuriev could hear every stray thought, every secret desire, and Gaignun could hear his. He would swear that he'd been hearing Yuriev his whole life. He had always been in his ear, inflaming all of Gaignun's insecurities.
The situation was far worse than it had ever been. What was once an imagined voice was now real and unshakable. Gaignun was growing weaker by the day, by the hour. He was running out of time.
Gaignun moved to the kitchen, rifling through cabinets for tea or coffee or something to rid him of the sudden chill and relax the tense muscles in his neck and shoulders. He found coffee first. Yuriev mentioned that coffee would only worsen his migraine. Gaignun brewed it out of spite.
He leaned against the island counter as he waited for it. He swung his head to look in on Jr. He was still asleep. Alby had moved to the pillow, his chin rested on Jr.'s shoulder. He sensed Gaignun immediately and his ears pointed up, twisted toward him. He moved his head to trap Gaignun in his large distrustful eyes.
Gaignun had almost told Jr. once when they were younger, when he finally, fully understood what was happening. He had never told Jr. the complete truth about Yuriev's death. Jr. knew that Gaignun had been the cause of it and that was enough for him. He never asked anything more and Gaignun had always been grateful for that. Gaignun realized too late that that had been a mistake. It had been his greatest mistake. Gaignun had rushed down the hallways to Jr.'s room. They were still stationed on Second Miltia back then. Jr. was still a tightly-kept secret and the name Gaignun Kukai was just starting to make small waves.
Gaignun finally reached his door. It was locked, and he raised his hand to knock, too afraid to risk calling him through their link. This was all new, this was terrifying, but he knew that as soon as he could see Jr.-
The thought died instantly and Gaignun dropped his hand.
There was nothing Jr. could do. Jr. would want to help but Gaignun couldn't take the risk of letting him try. And once it was established that there was nothing to be done, what would be left? How could Jr. ever trust him after knowing what he was becoming? After knowing what he had been created to do? Jr. wouldn't abandon him. Instead, he would continue to try, continue to put himself in danger to save him. Gaignun couldn't become that kind of burden but Gaignun also...couldn't bear to be separated from Jr. either.
He had always run to Jr., the way he had at that very moment, when things became too overwhelming. When he needed stability or advice or help Jr. always had a solution. He always knew what to do. It was in that hallway, outside Jr.'s door that Gaignun swore he would find a solution himself.
Gaignun's coffee was ready. He held it to his lips, blinking as the steam wafted into his eyes. The warmth was a hollow comfort amidst the bitter ring of his memories but it was something. Parasite. An interesting choice indeed.
There's no need for dramatics, Nigredo.
Yuriev's voice brought Gaignun unwillingly back to the present, a stark reminder of his utter failure, of promises he'd been unable to keep.
If you need assistance, I can provide it.
Gaignun laughed. It was genuine laughter. The offer was hilarious.
What choice do you have? Yuriev replied coolly to Gaignun's laughter.
I would die before I willingly gave you access to him.
Gaignun sat his coffee down and grabbed a stool. He shot a quick glance into the suite. Alby's ears twitched.
He'll die unless you discover a way to help him.
He won't die, Gaignun protested angrily.
Oh? We're playing doctor now?
Gaignun set down his cup. His migraine was receding slowly, making way for his quickly rising anger. He began to move away, back to the windows, to get Jr. out of his line of sight.
Surely you're not so blind. I didn't raise a fool.
You didn't raise any of us, Gaignun snapped.
Regardless of what you believe and regardless of your perception of me, we both know that you are not powerful enough alone to pull Rubedo back. If you can't, what will become of him? Will you take him to Second Miltia and run to your Representative Helmer, begging for a facility to access him? Why would you take that risk when it can be solved so easily right here and now?
It's not that serious yet, Gaignun shouted. He will wake up.
Four full days, Nigredo. Even you URTVs weren't designed to go so long without food or water.
You mock us for pretending to be human and then try to convince me with our human limitations.
You insist on being cheeky while the object of your affection is slowly wasting away.
Gaignun had begun his nervous pacing again. He stopped hard at Yuriev's implication, bracing with one hand flat against the corner of the glass table.
What exactly are you trying to say? Gaignun's thoughts were laced with venom.
We can discuss semantics if you like but the fact remains that he's in need of help, Nigredo. Yuriev continued, unconcerned with Gaignun's anger. I'm offering it to you.
Gaignun glared hard at his reflection in the table. Yuriev would know their spiritual link better than him, possibly better than Jr. He wasn't lying about his abilities or Gaignun's own weakness. He could pull Jr. back.
What do you want? It was a trap. For all of his weaknesses, Gaignun had been able to put up an excellent fight. He knew what it would cost him. Yuriev didn't have to answer.
I won't cause him any harm, I can assure you. Even afterward. Rubedo doesn't need to die. At least not at the moment.
Not unless he gets in your way, Gaignun hissed.
Jr. would. If Yuriev made it as far as he claimed, Jr. would have no choice. Gaignun wouldn't be able to stop it. It was an inevitability. If Gaignun were to lose anyway, did it really matter when he lost? If he could save Jr. now, he'd have a chance at least.
It's your gamble. Yuriev's voice suggested complete indifference. For now.
Gaignun's hand print was smeared on the glass as he pushed away. He made his way to the suite. Alby rose. Gaignun commanded him back down. All of his nervous energy collided with him and propelled him forward. When he halted at Jr.'s bedside it was with great effort and something akin to pain, like a swollen pressure in his chest. Jr.'s face was still drawn tight in distress. He remained asleep, defenseless. The feeling in Gaignun's chest bloated, became a true pain.
Don't worry so much. There's no need to rush things. Yuriev said. Gaignun felt him claiming more of him, filling him like a glass already half-full. You still have time. We still have work to do.
Virgil hadn't wanted Albedo to lose. He had, in fact, been rooting for him. It brought him no true joy to see him brought so low by failure but Albedo had been given every chance to succeed. He'd been served the kid on a silver platter, and he'd squandered the opportunity. Virgil couldn't identify the unpleasant feeling that Albedo's return had given him, so he channeled it into animosity.
If there was one thing Virgil understood, without question or doubt, it was a good fight. He was prepared for when Albedo lashed out at him. He was too prepared. Albedo's heartbreak weighed him down, make him less. Virgil caught his arm and slammed him onto his back like a threadbare rag doll. The fight wasn't even fun, didn't seem fair. There was no fire in him. As if to prove him wrong Albedo's dragon appeared. It crawled from beneath Albedo and shifted around him until it was crouched over him, shrieking at Virgil.
"Now we're talking!" Virgil cheered, dodging a hot peel of fire.
Virgil's own produced itself. Its giant blue body greatly outmatched the slender dragon but it didn't flinch. It spread its great wings and flew forward, Albedo rolled to his feet and joined it.
Virgil wasn't a man of great architectural schemes. He was a soldier. Fighting was all he'd ever been good at. It was truly all he'd ever known. They were alike in that aspect. But Virgil was no soft-skinned scientist. Albedo wouldn't best him so easily.
As Virgil's gnosis swung its giant, heavy claws to crash into them, Albedo's curled around it to spit fire into its face. It tried to freeze the dragon but its ice wasn't strong enough and it melted away into vapor instantly.
"Something wrong?!"
Albedo remained silent. His eyes were blank and expressionless. Albedo responded to the fight mechanically, instinctually. His movements were lifeless. It seemed to Virgil that his soul had been ripped from his body or perhaps left behind.
"Just weren't good enough for him, huh?" Virgil shouted.
Ah, there it was. A little spark in the blank expression.
"Couldn't satisfy him?"
Virgil's gnosis ripped the dragon from its neck and slammed it down with both arms into the hole Albedo had been sitting in. It pounded its massive fists against it until the dragon was dazed and broken. It covered the dragon in ice as it screamed, ignoring the spray of molten fire as it grazed the large pink fins sprouting from its forearms.
"Couldn't curl his toes?"
Virgil could see him filling with fury. That spark was growing behind his irises, a lighthouse on a rocky shore. Virgil ducked under Albedo's arm and grabbed him by the collar. He brought him close and challenged the dying light in Albedo's eyes. Dying, but not dead. It crept forward with its zombie light, given new life by Virgil's taunting.
"I'll pay him a visit. Show you both how it's done."
The blast Albedo created would have torn through Virgil from his chest to his pelvis if not for his gnosis and its giant, red steel claws slamming into Albedo. It drove him down into the crystal, burying him six feet under and filling the newly dug grave with ice until the top was a smooth and clear translucent blue.
Virgil sneered down into the ice. He stamped on it and found it strong and solid. He laughed. It was an ugly sound, painful, and full of holes. The ground began to glow a bright purple. Every crack in the crystal shimmered with it. The ice encasing the dragon melted away and the gnosis dug its way to Albedo, dipping into the purple and turning it into a vibrant magenta that created more cracks, widened the small splinters.
They ripped through the ice as if it were paper. Albedo grabbed Virgil's gnosis by the face and pulled away, creating a gooey, shivering opening in its head. His dragon dove its long neck into it, sending hot, searing lightning inside it. The thing convulsed, grabbed for the dragon. It crushed it with the last of its strength and the two fell together, disappearing into swirling gas particles.
Albedo shoved his hand through Virgil's chest, wrapping his hand around his beating heart. Virgil's sneer remained, despite the pain. The light had returned. Albedo was back but he was still a little slow. In a quick, unexpected flurry of motion, Virgil pulled him forward, cracked his elbow, and sent a solid blast into his chest. Albedo stumbled and Virgil hooked his ankle under his foot, giving it a sharp jerk. Albedo fell on his back, wedged uncomfortably between two cracks. Virgil stood over him. As soon as Albedo had reformed Virgil sat down harshly on his stomach, knocking the breath out of him. He twisted until he was straddling Albedo. Feet flat on the crystal, knees drawn up. He leaned his cheek into one hand, elbow propped on a knee.
"So, let's talk."
He snapped his fingers and Albedo's looking glass reflected in a broken relief onto the remaining solid pieces of crystal. Albedo's eyes fell over them and the returning light twisted into a fury, into a panic.
"I have to return."
He said it so quietly that Virgil didn't hear him at first, not until he looked at Virgil and clasped his knees in a crushing grip.
"I have to go back!"
Virgil's sneer finally disappeared. Albedo almost managed to unseat him. Virgil grabbed his wrists.
"You're crazy. You think Wil-"
"It wasn't him," Albedo said with urgency. He swung his vision upwards to the ceiling. His looking glass was displayed on every inch of crystal and it was the only one Albedo could see well enough, pinned beneath Virgil. Virgil found an unbroken image and finally began to puzzle through Albedo's meaning.
It wasn't Wilhelm. It was so much worse.
Jr. woke with a sharp gasp. The sound terrified Gaignun. He sounded like a ghoul, a long-dead creature sucking in breath for the first time in centuries. He sat up, arms flailing about for anything solid. Gaignun leaned forward and offered his arm. Jr. grabbed onto his forearm. He continued to breathe violently, unable to stabilize. Gaignun watched helplessly, wanting to do more but afraid of what might happen. Alby wasn't afraid. He threw himself at Jr., in the small space between his chest and Gaignun's arm. He didn't jump or bark, he simply sat there, shivering and whining but his presence seemed to bring a little more of Jr. back, give him more control.
Jr.'s eyes moved down to the whimpering puppy, his brilliant white fur, and large purple eyes.
"Alby?" Jr. asked softly. The puppy shivered and gave one sharp, worried cry. Jr. petted him awkwardly and looked around the room. His eyes landed on Gaignun, and he watched as the muddled confusion turned into wide blue focus.
Jr. stopped petting Alby and leaned forward, hands flying to Gaignun's shoulders.
"Gaignun," he breathed with a relief that surprised Gaignun. He patted him lightly as if to make sure he was real. Gaignun was uncomfortable with the contact, but he didn't stop him, not even when Jr.'s hands reached his head and slid around at it as if inspecting it.
"Jr..."
Jr. jerked away at Gaignun's voice. He whipped his head to the open door of the suite. One hand slammed against Gaignun's chest, pushing him away.
"Albedo."
"Wha-"
But before Gaignun could ask any further, Jr. leaped from the bed, knocking Alby completely on his back in his haste. Jr. was on his feet and out the door before Gaignun had a chance to stand. He scrambled after him, shouting for him to come back. Jr. ignored him. Gaignun caught the sound of the front door opening and closing, a blink of gray light streaking across the living room. It was still raining but it didn't deter Jr. He allowed it to soak him to the bone as he ran, single-mindedly, toward the beach.
Gaignun took off after him, Alby at his heels. Jr. was a few short steps from the beach, heart racing when Gaignun caught up to him. He grabbed Jr. by the arm and pulled him back.
"Jr., what are you doing?" Gaignun shouted.
Jr. spun on him. His eyes were panicked, his breathing harsh and heavy. He was weak and swayed on his feet but his voice was strong.
"Albedo!" Jr. shouted back. He tugged against Gaignun's grip. "He-he can't swim or...or he can, but he's not good at it."
"Jr., what are you talking about? Albedo's-"
"Alive, Gaignun!"
Gaignun started to protest but something in him stopped him short.
"I don't have time to explain!" Jr. said, trying to break out of Gaignun's grasp. His body gave out, and he fell or fainted onto the sand. Gaignun caught him and picked him up. He was cold, wet, and limp. Jr. tried to resist but his body was too weak.
"Take me back," Jr. whispered, his voice breaking. "Please."
Gaignun couldn't find anything to say. He was having trouble breathing. Yuriev had known.
"Gaignun...please, you have to help me."
Jr.'s pleading pushed under his skin like a butcher's knife separating flesh and bone to expose what he truly was and the stupidity that had helped to create him. He could feel Yuriev moving inside him, an unwelcome heat in his veins. It felt like laughter.
Gaignun placed Jr. carefully on the side of the bed, much to Alby's relief. Gaignun guided Jr. out of his wet clothes and brought him a towel to dry off with. He did all of this wordlessly and in a blur. He didn't question Jr. and Jr. didn't offer anything. He was pale and cold. The panic in his eyes had faded and left them blank. Jr. seemed empty and Gaignun became paranoid that Yuriev had done something, had destroyed Jr. in some vital way and that he would never get him back.
Gaignun brought Jr. a change of clothes. His hands removed the towel around his shoulders and Jr.'s eyes followed the motion, flinching when Gaignun's skin touched his.
"Your hands are cold," Jr. said, his voice as empty as his stare.
Gaignun was usually full of playful comebacks and easy, controlled charm, but he'd given all of that up, lost it in sacrifice. He could only apologize as he pulled away. Jr. reached out for his hand as he retreated. Gaignun didn't pull away. He watched as Jr. turned it, flipped it over in another inspection. His fingers traced Gaignun's numbers and Jr. looked up at him, face pinched in concentration. Gaignun didn't move, didn't flinch. It was the most life he'd seen since Jr.'s flight to the beach. But the longer he stared, the more Gaignun began to realize that it wasn't him he was seeing. He was looking through him, or perhaps for someone else.
"Jr.," Gaignun started, choking on his name. "Where...where have you been?"
He regretted the question. Whatever had left Jr. so empty filled him immediately. He overflowed with it. He squeezed Gaignun's hand in a crushing grip and leaned over, his entire body shaking. Gaignun hurriedly reached behind him for the chair and pulled it close enough to sit next to him.
"Gaignun I...I..."
He was sobbing uncontrollably. Alby whined and laid his head in Jr.'s lap, mournful eyes on his shivering master. Gaignun reached for the blanket and wrapped it around the boy and his dog. Jr. refused to let him go.
"I love him."
"Love...?"
Gaignun was hit with the full brunt of his mistake. Albedo was alive. However they had found each other, Yuriev had been the one to pull them apart. He'd used Gaignun's greatest weakness against him, and he had caved so easily, so readily.
Semantics, Yuriev remarked with contempt.
He had sacrificed everything and saved no one. Gaignun tried, for a brief, desperate moment to convince himself that Albedo was dangerous and that Jr. was better off. That the feeling wracking his small body was an illusion, something Albedo had placed in his head.
Gaignun knew it was untrue. Jr. didn't trust so easily. He wasn't a fool. He barely registered when Jr. released his hand. Jr. wrapped his arms around Gaignun's neck and Gaignun realized that he was still soaking wet. He hadn't had the chance to change. He'd been too focused on Jr. Jr. didn't care.
Gaignun's first instinct was to push him away. Jr. was weak. He was the perfect target. Yuriev seemed uninterested, however. He held no disgust, felt no victory. Gaignun even felt him pulling away. To rest, Gaignun realized. Whatever he had done had taken a lot out of him. Gaignun's body still wasn't completely his. It would take more effort for that one last push, for the final takeover.
You still have time, Yuriev had said. Maybe this is what he'd meant. He wore Gaignun like a suit, one he could peel off at his leisure.
Gaignun adjusted the blanket around Jr.'s body, trying to keep him warm. Alby jumped into Gaignun's lap, not snarling for once. Jr. was too upset for the noise. He simply wanted to be close and Gaignun was the best option. Gaignun allowed Jr. to hold him, despite the wet clothes on bare skin and the awkward bending such an action caused for him. He had done this. In one fell swoop, he had destroyed them all.
Executioner.
As if Jr. was sensitive to even Gaignun's own separate thoughts of Albedo, as if he could hear them without an open connection, he whimpered and repeated, like a death sentence, a death wish, like the final nail in his handcrafted coffin, "I love him, Gaignun."
A/N: Gaignun is such a tragic character. I love him but honestly what character in Xenosaga isn't tragic? I love them all. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope to see you in the next one. Stay safe and healthy~
