The Rise of Skywalker

As the credits rolled the other Knight Sabers looked to their CO who was pinching the bridge of her nose and groaning in frustration. "I didn't think it was humanly possible but this was worse than the Last Jedi!" Sylia sighed as she turned off the rec room blu-ray player. The Knight Sabers despite of their better judgement sat down to watch the Rise of Skywalker.

"What the fuck was up the opening crawl?!" Priss blurted out her arm around Cover Girl, "The dead speak! The galaxy has heard a mysterious broadcast, a threat of REVENGE in the sinister voice of the late EMPEROR PALPATINE." She said in a mocking voice.

"It was reference to Fortnite, Priss," Nene answered. "Disney decided to reveal return of the Emperor as a tie-in."

"Oh Fortnite! Excuse me but not everyone in the free world is a ten year old little bastard playing some piece of shit video game in their mama's basement!"

"I do have to agree with Priss on that one… the movie was trying to deal with the train wreck known as the Last Jedi; but it took many of its story cues from the Dark Empire storyline." Sylia said as she leaned back on the couch recovering from the cinematic disaster she just watched. "Exegol stood in for Byss. Palpatine and cloning. The Final Order is pretty much Palpatine's Dark Empire. The First Order is pretty much the Galactic Empire. The Xyston-class is the Sovereign-class with an Imperial-class look. Rey and Kylo are stand-ins for Luke and Leia…"

"That Force shit was fuckin' hilarious! Not only the skyping but pulling shit through from across space! Who the fuck wrote that shit? Michael Bay?"

"Don't get me started on Michael Bay, Priss… I hated the Transformers movies!" Nene piped up

"And don't get me started on Pearl Harbor!" Sylia added

"At least Rey came off more as a character than a caricature while Luke became a mentor and passed on advice than being some grumpy old guy yelling at kids to get off his lawn!" Linna said fuming how Rey was portrayed in the Last Jedi.

"Here something you can find amusement," Nene quipped looking to her iPhone.

"What is that Nene?" Cover Girl spoke up

"On Twitter there were those losing their minds because Kylo buys at the end ruined their Reylo shipping."

Reaching Priss' ears she couldn't help but bust out laughing at Nene's findings. "Oh they couldn't eat or sleep or work because they were sent into depression that their fan pairing went to shit?!" She said in mock sympathy.

"Actually, yes." Nene said which made Priss laugh even harder.

"Love, those people need help; they probably live a very miserable existence."

"No shit Babe!" Priss snorted into another fit of laughter, "a bunch of lame fuck that probably can't even get laid by another species!"

The other four Knight Sabers groaned in annoyance at the mental image Priss provided. "The two things I hated about the movie were the laughably idiotic filling of plot holes and treating the Force like a super power. If memory serves me Lucas tried to treat the Force as more mystical and more subtle."

"When I look back at the prequels… while flawed were much better than this."

The Knight Sabers sat in silence trying to digest the Rise of Skywalker. "Anyone up for a Rom-Com?" Cover Girl asked

"NO!" Sylia, Linna and Nene said in empathic unison knowing the last time Priss and Courtney watched rom-com.

"We could always watch the Dark Knight Rises…" Nene quipped

"Boring as fuckin' shit!" Priss said

"Hunt for Red October?" Sylia asked

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever" The other noncommittally answered.