I am excited to release this chapter. The others had to happen for a reason but we are in the home stretch. Only 37 or 38 Chapters total depending on how its divided. I can't can't believe we have made it this far back when I had this idea in May 2019. I was was rewriting the last few paragraphs yesterday and I felt elated and sad too. It seems fitting I should finish writing it the weekend that my inspiration, Phantom celebrates 34 years. It was not planned in the least. Please leave reviews as I welcome feedback and would like to know your thoughts.

Chapter 32: My Angel of Music

Il Muto had two weeks more in its run. True to our Prima Donna's word I was given two nights to perform the role of the Countess. Surely Erik would come to hear me sing. I sang and acted as if my life depended upon. I gave a passionate performance and sang with as much emotion as I could layer within my notes in an effort to summon him to me, as a Siren. Alas the voice did not speak to me. I strained to see his shape above the chandelier but it was to no avail for the lights were too bright in contrast to the darkness above. His seating choice was the perfect place of concealment.

The show ended and I was greeted with much applause. The fabric of the curtain swept closed bouncing slighting as the panels met.

"Congratulations Christine."

The cast had surrounded me and I graciously accepted their remarks with smiles and waves.

"You were amazing."

"It was so lovely to hear your voice again."

"Thank you, it has been lovely performing with all of you. I am truly blessed that Carlotta created this opportunity for me. I must go change. Thank you." I shouted and waved a final thanks as I passed into the wings and out the stage door into the corridor to the dressing rooms. I rushed eager to see Erik. Surely I had pleased him tonight.

I rushed in and secured the door behind me. "Erik, I have missed you," I cried rushing up to the mirror. "I am sorry to have kept you waiting. I left the stage as soon as I could without appearing to be rude. What did you think? I have tried to keep up with my training and I have worked with Monsieur Reyer more in your absence. I am sure you heard parts that can be improved upon. I can't wait to hear your tutelage again." I ceased speaking and the emptiness of the room echoed back to me. He wasn't there. My tears began then. I had so hoped he would come. I had expected him to come. Surely our music meant something to him. I let myself slide to the floor beside the mirror. "Oh Erik, are you truly gone? I sang for you, I gave you my soul." I put my hand to the glass as if bidding it would open for me.

I woke cold in the dark having fallen asleep beside the mirror. I made my way over to my vanity and struck a match to light a few candles. My stage tear streaked make-up cast me as a distorted monster clown in the flickering candle light. Imagine having this face everyday of your life. "I am sorry Erik, I truly am. I changed out of my costume and hung the beautiful period costume, with the hanger looped over the edge of the open wardrobe so it might air out. I hoped the wrinkles I had created from sleeping in it on the floor would find their way out over the course of the week with the weight of the fabric. It must be very late so I decided to risk going out in my nightgown and wrapper. I bundled my toiletries beneath my arm while I held a candle in my other hand. The corridor was dark and empty while I made my way to the washroom. "Erik", I called in spite of myself. "Come to me my Angel of Music." I cleaned the heavy stage makeup off my face, eager to allow my skin to breath. Multiple washcloths wipes and wringouts began to help me find myself. I wiped the rest of my body down, removing the layer of sticky saltiness from my skin. The performances were fun but the layer upon layers of sweat combined with makeup gave way to a feeling of rebirth when I washed. I finished off with my tooth powder and then made my way back to my room. I made my way over to my vanity and as I put my bundle down I caught sight of his sprawl on a note addressed to me. "Oh Erik," I cried. "Erik, don't hide any longer," I rushed to the mirror. "Erik, My Angel of Music, come to me." I began to sing our song, projecting to the mirror. The last note faltered on my lips. He wasn't coming. I returned to my vanity and opened his missive.

My Angel,

You were sublime tonight. I wish you to truly be free of me but you keep calling to me. I couldn't stay away from your voice. You made your Angel of Music weep to hear your voice ascend to the heavens. You have no need of me in your life for surely I will bring you nothing but pain and anguish. Let me go. Stay in the light. My darkness is not good for your soul. I remain as always your obedient servant.

Erik

"Erik, what if I want the darkness? Can I not have a choice? Why must you and the men around me decide what is best for me. Why can't I make my own decisions? I want to choose what I want.

The next night Carlotta performed and she was magnificent. She was enchanting and her voice had lost the edginess and had been replaced with sweet clarity. The sweetness of her voice extended to her interactions with the cast.

I went to her room to congratulate her and thank her for giving me the two nights to perform.

"Seniora, your voice was wonderful and beautiful." I said smiling.

"You mean this, Christine. You are not making up compliments to appease me. I have noticed that you are a woman that speaks her mind yet is mindful of her words."

"Then perhaps I can be candid and say that many of us have noticed a change in you and the change adds beauty to your performance."

"I have been visited by the Angel of Music." I must have had a shocked look on my face. "It is true. There is an Angel of Music. I felt much the way you do now when I first heard the voice. And he has been giving me voice lessons. Singing with him has been good for my soul too."

I had no doubt that she and I shared the same Angel of Music. Oh Erik, what is this game that you are playing?"

"Carlotta, I was visited by the Angel of Music and he was giving me lessons too which is why I was able to sing now."

"This Opera House is truly blessed to have the Angel of Music here. He has scared the ghost away," she said.

"Have you seen the Angel of Music?" I asked.

"Have you?" she asked. She had been the beneficiary of his voice and tutelage when I had not. He had ignored my notes and had been with her. Oh what were you plotting Erik?

"How can one see an angel? I sense him and I hear him. He is everywhere and yet near." As she spoke the last words she was off into the distance as she accessed a memory.

I pondered this new development as I returned to my room. Why was Erik pretending to be the Angel of Music with Carlotta? Why did his life include her? I had forgiven him and I wanted him. Why was he choosing her? Did he feel safer in the shadows, pretending to be the Angel of Music, than with me? Why was helping her? I found this so perplexing given his previous animosity toward the woman and her voice. Her voice under his tutelage had blossomed and reached a level of refinement that made her a formidable and lovely soprano. I wondered if he had played a role in her sweeter disposition. She had softened and was less prickly during rehearsal and around the opera house.

Being impatient, I had to see him. I wrote him a note. I struggled over writing too much and several drafts later I settled on a straight to the point note. I was tired of waiting, of him hiding from me.

Dear Erik,

I need to see you. Meet me in my dressing room after the show tomorrow. If you are tardy I have a lantern and I will begin to descend and meet you on my way down. I am determined to see you.

Love,

Your Friend and Angel

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