Decisions
Edward POV
Carlisle and Esme may not be my parents by birth or blood... at least not in the traditional sense... but I loved them as such, even more than I could logically explain. They were the glue that held our family together... they supported us all and loved us unconditionally, no matter what trials, tests or torments we were enduring. Without them, the rest of us, my brothers and sisters and I... wouldn't be a 'family'.
Esme had always been the quintessential mother. She'd thrown herself to her death over the grief of losing her son... and a part of her had never gotten over that. Oh, I knew she loved me like a son. She was a wonderful mother to all of us... but I knew Esme would give anything to have a baby... and even after 100 years as an immortal, it was a pain that she was frequently reminded that she would forever have to endure.
Bella's pregnancy had been so hard on everyone in my family. It was horrible for all of us to watch our beloved Bella be torn apart from the inside by the same kind of monster we all knew we had inside of us... but I know how much harder it was on my mother and sisters than it even was for me. I was just watching the reason for my existence being slowly stolen from me... they were losing Bella to an unsighted being that they all had spent decades wishing they themselves were able to carry.
We'd all been prepared for the worst. As the weeks had quickly passed, and Bella had gotten more distended and sicker, weaker by the day... I had begun making my plans. I knew my Bella well... and even if it killed her, which is exactly what it was doing, my beloved wife would ensure that the last thing she did on this earth would be to safely deliver whatever creature it was that was destroying her.
I would not outlive Bella by more than a few minutes. If her heart stopped beating before my venom had a chance to heal her, I would have instantly forfeited my life as well. If my spawn killed her, I would follow her as soon as physically possible. I would not even take the time to do away with the creature first... I couldn't, knowing that my beloved had died to protect it. Carlisle and I had agreed that he would take care of it, one way or another. Neither Carlisle nor I had had any idea, not in our wildest fantasies, that the creature was such a wonderfully unique, extraordinarily exceptional little girl.
When Renesmee had arrived we had all been astounded. All except Rosalie. It's like she had known all along. Throughout Bella's pregnancy my sister's malignant thoughts penetrated my mind like torture... imagining herself as the mother of this angelic child. Rosalie didn't really care if Bella died, as long as the baby was fine; her selfishness had convinced her that if this happened I wouldn't want anything to do with the child, and she could then have it to raise it... and she made no attempt whatsoever to hide these thoughts from me. NEVER have I hated Rosalie as much as I did in that month. Amazingly though, I think Bella knew that Rosalie felt that way, but she didn't care. Rosalie cared about the baby, and that was all that mattered to Bella. My amazing selfless Bella. She trusted that Rosalie, and of course Esme, would care for the baby once she was gone, and protect it with their lives.
I felt an odd, almost misplaced sense of gratitude to Rose now. I knew that without her stubbornness, rage and selfishness, I wouldn't now have a daughter... and for that reason alone, I had a new found respect for my oldest sister. When she held Renesmee, or fed her, or even looked at her, I felt my blonde sisters' heart swell with love that I had never before known her to possess... or for that matter, even be capable of feeling. Which I supposed was the difference between Rose's and Esme's emotion for Renesmee. I had always known Esme to be capable of such love, so it didn't come as such a shock. With Esme it just felt more... natural.
I'd heard the yearning in my mothers' heart from the first time I watched her nurse Renesmee in her arms. It was an ache so hollow that it hurt me to hear it in her mind. Oh, how she longed for this. Cooing quietly to my daughter, I saw an image flash through Esme's head.
Twilight on a Boardwalk... Esme in an old fashioned dress, adorned with petticoats and lace, Carlisle at her arm as they pushed an elegant wrought iron baby carriage slowly along the waterfront. Smiles... soft laughter... and the soft happy cooing of a young baby. The epitome of a perfect, happy family.
I had heard Esme's small sob as the dream disappeared and she was jolted back to reality by the tiny angel in her arms. This baby... my baby... was the closest thing to that image that my mother was ever going to get. Could I deny her this? Would Bella? I played with some ideas in silence for several days before the perfect opportunity arose for us to give my mother something that would mean more to her than ten private islands... then all I'd had to do was convince Bella.
At first she was shocked at my suggestion. Confusion and anger clouded her face and even without the ability to read her mind, I could tell that she was hurt that I would want to give away our baby... even if only for a few days. But when I calmly explained just what it would mean to my mother she immediately softened... seeing the truth in my words and understanding why I wanted to do this for Esme.
I'd left Bella at the house with Rose after Carlisle and Esmes' departure with our Renesmee... I had made sure that Alice saw the next four days of my daughter's future as safe, which of course she assured me she'd already checked... but when I asked her about what else she saw for the next few days she caught me off guard with her huge smile, instantly throwing up her defences to keep me out of her mind. I trusted my sister unequivocally... I knew she wouldn't be doing that to hide something dangerous from me... but I couldn't help but wonder what she was so determined to keep hidden. I guessed that I wouldn't have to wonder about it for long. Alice seemed excited, so I wasn't too worried.
Back at the cottage I quickly set about making the atmosphere romantic, knowing that it would excite and delight my beautiful bride... and besides, I was desperate to do something to take my mind off missing my beloved daughter. I scattered a few of her favourite scents throughout the small cottage, selected some gentle music as background noise, then lit a small fire in the hearth, just for effect. It gave off a homey feel. I tested the resistance of the fireplaces cracked chimney gingerly with my fingertips, feeling it buckle softly beneath them. I grinned a little in spite of myself, knowing that I would need to reinforce it sooner rather than later. One more little nudge from Bella and I in the heat of our passion would have us crashing into the flames... which wasn't a very safe place for either of us, mortal or not.
It wasn't long until I heard my beloved coming home... walking at a human pace through the forest. I knew she was sad. I would just have to try my best to keep her as busy and as distracted as possible over the next few days so she wouldn't have time to miss our baby.
Bella hadn't completed her first step through the door when I pounced on her, lifting her into my arms and crushing her perfect lips between mine. She responded instantly, bringing her legs up, wrapping them around my body. Her denim clad thighs rubbed deliciously against my hips, and I could feel the double stitched seams of the tight fabric forming a hard ridge that only increased my excitement more as she moved her crotch against mine. I pushed her back against the wall, my mouth exploring and tasting her delicious neck, a sudden frenzy building within me, stronger than my need for blood right now was my need to make her orgasm; to feel her flooding while I was inside her.
I reached down between our bodies, my fingers seemingly drawn to the apex of her thighs, itching to be inside her... but the tight thick material kept me from my prize. Bella was obviously feeling the same way, as her small hand encircled me through my pants while her other hand fought with my zipper. I found her clit through the denim and pressed the thick seam against her, rubbing it from side to side, flicking across her. I heard her gasp. I didn't want to prolong this... not this time. I just needed to be inside her. Moving my hands to the waistband of her jeans, I pulled my head back a little, showing her my cheeky smirk before I applied just the tiniest bit of pressure to her jeans. I heard the mighty rrriiiiipppp of the denim as it fell apart beneath my fingers. I dropped it carelessly to the ground. I now had full access to her creamy thighs without that pesky material getting in the way.
She laughed as she realised she was suddenly naked from the waist down... well, except for her thin panties. Her laughter made her soft folds move against me, making me groan. I pushed back, mimicking her movement, poking against her folds with my hard shaft, which my beloved Bella quickly removed from the confines of my trousers. I was already very hard, and once freed, my member sprung up, rubbing against her moist centre.
She threw her head back and I heard the bricks crumble behind her. I grinned against her neck. This poor cottage wouldn't last another month at this rate. I wondered briefly if I should make a bet with Emmett about how many houses Bella and I could smash, but I knew that he would want to turn it into a competition, only to give him and Rosalie an excuse to do more damage, and I really shouldn't encourage them.
God she looked beautiful like this. So breathtakingly beautiful... and she was mine. I saw her take her bottom lip between her teeth, steeling herself. I knew what this meant... she wanted me inside her. Even in only three short weeks of getting to intimately know each others bodies, I'd managed to learn most her little nuances and the meaning of her body language when we made love. I slowly made my way up her body with my lips and fingers, undoing her buttons as I went, kissing her alabaster skin, tracing patterns across her chest with my tongue.
Bella pushed her hips forward, rubbing herself up the length of my shaft, dramatically pausing when she reached the tip to rub in against her tender clitoris. I couldn't hold back the hiss that escaped me. I wanted to growl. There was something desperately animalistic about our lovemaking this time... maybe because we both knew we were using it as a distraction. It didn't make it any less delicious though. Bella repeated the motion, sliding up the length of me again... teasing me. I felt her finger under my chin, guiding my eyes to hers as she swirled my tip in her sweet juices before taking me fully inside her in one motion.
We exhaled in unison, just the joining of our bodies having calmed us both immeasurably. I sighed as I sank against her, taking comfort from her as readily as I offered it in return. Bella's sighs mixed with mine as I claimed her lips, thrusting fully inside her until I hit the mouth of her cervix, making her shudder. I was vaguely aware of the brick wall bouncing behind her like a trampoline matt, not that I really cared at this point if we did smash the house, but it would disrupt our lovemaking, and I didn't want that.
Lifting her easily I relocated us into the bedroom... knowing that it was easier to replace a bed than a wall. At the foot of the bed I turned, leaning backwards so that she would land on top of me when we fell onto the soft mattress, still deeply embedded inside her. I could stay here forever.
After we'd both had our moments of pleasure we lay peacefully in each others arms, and I could sense the exact moment when Bella's thoughts flickered back to our daughter. She turned her beautiful eyes, still soulful, though painfully red, to mine... then spoke with her heart.
"I miss her so much Edward"
I nodded gently, understanding, stroking her cheek.
"So do I, love. I can call Esme...? I'm sure she'd drive straight back here..."
She shook her head quickly in response, closing her eyes.
"No." She said simply. I already knew why. Bella didn't want to deny Esme this pleasure... even though it was killing her.
I held my love close to my chest, humming softly to her, trying to soothe her pain. It was even worse knowing that I was the reason for it. It was going to be a long four days without Renesmee.
I frowned at the sudden appearance of my sisters' voice in my head. She was standing outside our front door, waiting for permission to come in. She wanted to ask us something, but I couldn't quite decipher what that was... she was blocking me. That was never a good sign.
I stopped humming and quickly tucked the sheet around Bella's naked body... not that I had any delusions about hiding anything from my sister, but she didn't need to see the physical proof.
"Come in Alice" I said, both in response to my wife's questioning gaze and my sisters unspoken thought. The tiny, dark haired sprite flitted into our house and within a matter of seconds was seated comfortably on our bed, a wide grin on her face, her hand patting Bella's thigh through the sheet, trying to offer my wife some comfort. I heard several things race through her head, one of which was 'it smells like sex in here', but I didn't have time to think of an appropriate response to that before she started talking to Bella.
"How are you holding up Bella?" The sweet concern in her musical voice was touching... and I didn't dispute that she cared for Bella, or myself... but I had the distinct impression that the question was just a lead in for whatever she had in mind. I soon found out that I wasn't mistaken.
Bella's response had been a slow, sad smile, her eyes speaking volumes more than she wanted to admit to me... I could see her pain echoed in my sisters' mind, which once again made me question if I had done the right thing here.
I heard Alice's silent request in my mind. "Don't lose your temper Edward, okay? Just hear me out" then aloud she said: "Well, we have all come up with a perfect distraction for you. I've come to invite you two up to the house tonight."
No sooner were the words out of her mouth, the image of Alice and Rosalie in bed, naked, making love with my Bella filled my head, unwanted, unfiltered and completely impossible. No way would I let that happen. A deep animalistic growl tore through me, starting from my gut... and before I was even fully aware I had taken a defensive crouch over my wife's prone body. My mouth was bitter with the sudden rush of venom, my teeth bared. How dare she even think such a thing?
Bella shrank back, scared of my sudden unexplainable rage. My arm tightened around her, holding her closer to my body as I continued to snarl at my sister.
Alice didn't even pretend to be surprised at my reaction. She even had the nerve to roll her eyes at me. "Geez, Edward, could you overreact a little more?'
I'd long since known of the sexual games my siblings liked to play as a group. It had started off with just Alice and Rosalie... at Emmett's' suggestion, of course. Jasper and Emmett had been allowed to sit and watch the girls together... something that had been high on Emmett's fantasy list for a very long time... but since it involved both of their wives it was only fair that Jasper be allowed to watch too... and of course Jasper hadn't objected for very long. The girls were both keen from the get-go... and so the games had begun. After the slight awkwardness of the first time, they had settled into comfortable habits with each other... to the point where no-one was ever off-limits... as long as their partners knew the what's, where's and when's. They only had one major rule to govern this playtime: No Secrets.
And now, Alice wanted Bella and I to join in. Actually no, it wasn't just Alice. She might be the spokesperson, but I could now see in her mind that they had all discussed it.
Alice huffed loudly, pouting.
"Just let me ask her, Edward... Let me explain?"
"NO Alice."
"I've already seen it happening Edward. She wants to do this. Will you deny her something she wants?"
I just shook my head. No, that couldn't be right. Bella wouldn't want to be with anyone but me... would she?
Alice put her hands on her tiny hips, cocking her head slightly to the side, admonishing me.
"You are being very selfish Edward." She admonished me in a serious, almost pleading voice. "We all love her just as much as you do."
"I SAID NO, ALICE. LEAVE. NOW."
Alice smiled slightly, letting another of her visions play through her mind for my benefit. I could have happily torn her head off just to stop the vision of Jasper slowly, tenderly making love to Bella... Bella's moans loud and pleasured... Jasper's scarred silken body sliding against my wife's softness... his mouth on her left breast, sucking the hard, tight nipple so deeply into his mouth he looked about to swallow it.
I went momentarily blind with rage.
"I'm sorry that this hurts you Edward, but you need to understand this. We love her, and we want to express that love just as much as you do. We won't do anything that either of you aren't ready for."
I tried to calm myself, drawing deep breaths into my cold body, taking in my Bella's scent as if it were a relaxing balm.
Alice decided not to push her luck. She could see that Bella and I needed to talk.
Leaning over us again, Alice softly took Bella's lips in a gentle, loving kiss... her fingertip stroking my beloved's cheek affectionately.
"If you could lighten up a bit, you would actually really enjoy this Edward. I promise."
With a wink, and a smile, she was gone.
I exhaled slowly, then turned to face my very confused wife, shaking my head to try and clear it of the last of the rage before I could speak to her. If this really was something that she wanted, I would try not to taint it for her.
"I'm so sorry, love. Alice sometimes..." sometimes what? I thought angrily to myself... sometimes rides Emmett while her husband watches... sometimes makes Rosalie orgasm just by using her tongue? What was I meant to say?
"What was she asking?" Bella pressed me, needing an answer. "I don't understand what Alice would want to do to me that would make you so angry... she would never hurt me."
I smiled tightly in agreement. No, Alice would never hurt her. Just me. I know it wasn't intentional, and that my favourite sister would have spared me pain if it was possible, but it was true nonetheless.
"Of course she would never hurt you. She would never dream of it. But she presumes too much..." She presumes that she has just as much right to my wife as I do, even though we've only been married two months. They've all been together a century. They've had time to get over the insatiable need for their mate... the need that Bella and I were only just starting to get acquainted with.
Still... I may as well tell her now, and let her make her own decision. If this was truly something that Bella wanted to do... or would feel comfortable doing, then I would consider it.
I took her hands in mine, facing her fully... but I couldn't actually bring myself to look into her eyes as I spoke. Yes, this subject embarrassed me. I was old fashioned; I had never tried to deny it. I stared down at our entwined fingers as I told her of the way Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice expressed their love for each other. I told her that it wasn't a secret, exactly... Carlisle and Esme knew, but of course they had never joined in... Carlisle truly considered himself a parent... at least to me, Rosalie and Emmett. He had made us, he really was our sire. He wouldn't do anything to taint that.
Bella took it well... actually, a lot better than I did the first time I had heard it in their thoughts... which again made me think that maybe she would be open to this. After all, Bella had never hidden her desire or pleasure from me... I'd known all along that she was a very sexual being... never promiscuous, but open to suggestion, sure. Would she want this? I leaned in to claim her lips, smiling internally as she so eagerly accepted the kiss. Okay, if I was going to offer this to her, now was the time. I swallowed nervously.
"So perhaps I was too hasty in sending Alice away. You haven't reacted as I thought you would." I laughed softly, trying to keep the nervousness out of my voice. "But then, I should be used to that by now. You always surprise me."
Bella didn't respond. Internally I was screaming for an answer, but she just sat there quietly, a far away smile on her lips. I almost growled with my next words.
"So should we pay a visit to the house this evening then, my love? Does the idea of making love with my brothers and sisters excite you?"
Bella's eyes went wide as the realisation hit her. I almost laughed. She fumbled for words for a few moments... and I would have given anything to be able to see inside her head at what she was thinking.
She looked up at me... her eyes a little wide in fright... and I could tell she was trying to see what I thought of all this. "They want us to go... up there... to join in?" She asked hesitantly. I simply nodded.
Bella buried her face in my chest, hugging me, pushing me back onto the bed so she could snuggle up into my chest like she used to back when she was so fragile and breakable. My arms instantly locked around her, holding her close, stroking her bare back. God I wish I knew what she was thinking.
"Do you want to?" Her voice was so quiet, hesitant, but I couldn't answer that without knowing what she wanted.
"Do you?"
She smiled, swatting playfully at my chest. "I asked you first."
I shook my head. "Nuh huh, you've already seen my reaction with Alice... now I want to know what you think of all this."
Bella looked ready to keep arguing, but I think her curiosity got the better of her.
"I don't know." She replied honestly. "I do love them all, very much. I'd never even thought about this. I'm still reeling."
I knew exactly how she felt. I stroked her arm with a forefinger, thrilling at the touch of her. "I'm only ever happy when you are happy, my love. If you want this, then we can do it. I don't mind."
My own words surprised me a little. Wow, that almost sounded like I was trying to convince Bella to go along with this. The tone in my voice sounded like it was something that I was keen to experiment with. I stopped myself, and thought back over the first vision I had seen in Alice's head, of Bella naked, entwined with Alice. Mentally I had removed Rose from the picture. If Bella was going to be with another woman, I didn't think it was completely necessary for her first time to be a lesbian ménage trios. Just Bella with Alice I could handle. She wasn't a stranger. She was a woman that I loved intensely... and she and Bella clearly loved each other. Given what we were, and that we could all potentially be together as a family for the rest of eternity, was this just the natural progression of things?
I met her eyes, feeling the hint of a smile appearing behind my gold ones as I smiled into hers, burning red. I spoke quietly. "I could handle seeing you with Alice... she's loved you for as long as I have."
I watched Bella carefully as she nodded. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, something I had rarely seen her do since she was human. This immediately gave me the impression that I'd said something wrong.
"What is it, my love? If you don't want to do this at all then we won't. Honestly, I don't want to share you with any of them... but if you want to..."
"I don't want to share you either..."
I smiled happily, kissing her nose. "Then we won't."
Bella nodded, then turned and sunk back against me, pulling my arms around her to be her big spoon. I held her tightly, stroking her skin, and after a little while I picked up the tune of her lullaby again... soothing her. I could tell her mind was still racing over all these new facts about our family... to be honest, mine was too.
After a long silence... so long that if I hadn't known it was impossible I would have thought she'd drifted off to sleep, Bella moved slightly in my arms. Just from this simple action, I knew she had come to a decision.
"Edward?"
I dropped my head to kiss her pale neck. "Yes my love?"
"I think I would enjoy being with Alice... I love Alice... and I've always been just a little curious about girls. But only if you would be there with us Edward... the three of us together. I don't want to do any of this if you won't be participating too."
I nodded silently, considering her suggestion. Of all the pairings she could have come up with, I had to commend my Bella for offering me the most enticing one first. Of course I loved Alice... the connection between us was undeniable, and it always had been. Even Jasper understood it. If anything was ever going to tempt me into this, a threesome with Bella and Alice was it.
I rolled Bella over, needing to see her eyes. They were curious, tentative... and excited. I could see it quite clearly. My decision was made for me. Anything that made my beloved Bella happy was already a done deal.
I smiled... A real, genuine smile, not just one for her benefit. I leaned forward, kissing her deeply, our tongues intertwining, our hands caressing.
"That sounds delightful." I leapt up from the bed, stark naked, and offered my hand to help her up. The vixen laughed at my firm member standing up and out from my body, but she took my hand without a word and let me lead her into the bathroom to get ready for our visit to the house. I wasn't nervous anymore. I wasn't repulsed. I was eager for this. For years Emmett had teased me for being a frigid prude... maybe that was yet another thing that my Bella had changed about me. I guess we were about to find out.
