"Are you okay?" Elena leaned over, pressing her shoulder to mine and lowering her voice as the car rolls over a few bumps in the road. "It's okay if you're not."
We were on our way to one of Kilmister's hospitals in Cliff Resort. Reno veered around a pothole, grumbling his complaints to Rude, who sat in the passenger seat. In the row in front of us, Rufus stared hard out the window on one side as Tseng silently threatened to punish any suspicious movements from the doctor wedged between them.
I nodded, leaning my head against the glass and watching raindrops race each other down the pane. "I'm okay. I'm just tired." I puffed out a sarcastic laugh, emotionally, mentally, and physically drained. "Very relieved it's over."
"I bet," she replied quietly, giving me my space and tucking her hair behind her ear.
But, I guess, it's never really over, is it?
I never wanted to acknowledge the elephant in the room once it became obvious, but after having the stigma removed, Mother's voice came back with a vengeance and it all came spilling out. Elena stepped in to calm me down and Reno disappeared for a while. I guess the others figured it out on their own if no one else told them.
Gods, how long has it been? About ten months since Tseng asked Elena out? Needless to say, Reno and I made a big deal out of it and Rufus rolled his eyes, the miserable little bitch. Soon after, Kilmister began to have withdrawals from his pain relievers and forced Rufus to have us find more of them. Elena left to find refills as we decided what we wanted to do with this man that we didn't trust. Rufus wanted to hang onto him a while longer, perhaps hoping that the doctor could make his life a little longer.
And then one day, out of the blue, I went to Kilmister's room to find his brains blown out all over his bedsheets. Judd fessed up without much pushing, but he refused to give up where he'd gotten the gun. The mood shifted drastically that day. Those Rufus and I had helped save from the Kilmister's hellhole left to make homes for their final days. The Turks took the president to a Shinra lodge outside of the Midgar border. Despite its abandonment, it was in pretty good shape. Besides pretending Rufus was going to be okay, we mostly busied ourselves with patching holes and figuring furniture out.
One day, two years after Meteor struck, Reno and Rude were repainting the sign outside the lodge while I sat in shade beneath the outstretched limbs of a tree whose leaves were just starting to grow back in. With a deep-set frown, I tried to pull my rod apart to remove the limit on its shock.
"What's 'healin' mean?" Reno asked, stepping back and wiping at the sweat on his forehead with the back of his hand. The desert was getting hotter by the day in its return to spring.
Rude pulled his shades off to wipe off the lenses, glancing over at the redhead. He took a breath to speak, but Rufus entered the conversation abruptly, pushing the wheels on his wheelchair to guide himself toward us.
"To heal the world," he explained, sounding alarmingly excited about the prospect.
I remember frowning at the idea. For as long as I'd known the world, it was broken. There was never a single lasting light; even the last Ancient was stolen by the greed of Shinra in its attempts to create the ultimate human weapon. The concept of Shinra's head living in a lodge named after his last hope—to rebuild the world—didn't sit well. Still, it beat rolling over and dying.
"What's up your sleeve, Shinra?" I asked. Grimacing, I flinched when the interiors of my rod zapped my finger.
"You'll have to wait and see."
Reno watched him wheel away with a scoff. He dropped his paintbrush onto the dirt and undid another button on his shirt, fanning his face. "Fuckin' asshole."
With that, Rude shook his head and picked up the brush. Slowly, he gathered the painting supplies. I sighed and gave up, leaving my rod in pieces on my lap. Reno shook his head with a grin, plopping down beside me and picking the pieces up. All too easily, he jammed them back together and dropped the weapon into my hands.
"Don't take shit apart if you can't put it back together," he advised, pressing a kiss to the side of my head. I shoved him and stood, offering a hand.
"Only if you stop explaining shit you don't understand."
Laughing, Reno took my hand and dragged himself to his feet. "Never."
A few days later, Rufus revealed to us the source of his good mood: he'd found Jenova's head. He sent me, Tseng, and Elena in a chopper to the Northern Crater to retrieve it. Reno served as our pilot, and as per usual, he complained the whole way.
Things didn't go as planned, but when do they ever? We encountered the Remnants of Sephiroth, some sort of glitch in how our universe is supposed to rid itself of the dead. Jenova simply refuses to let her children die. While Tseng and Elena were captured, I managed to hide long enough to try and find a way out of the crater. Lost, freezing, and starving, I curled up in a tiny cavern, prepared to waste away.
I was rescued by Vincent Valentine, who'd also just rescued Tseng and Elena for a reason I still can't find. Perhaps there was some faint comradery there from his past as a Turk, but something tells me had nothing to do with a fondness for Shinra. After a day or so, I was feeling much better than my uncle and his new girlfriend, who had been tortured for information. Valentine let me run back to Healin Lodge.
It's a long story, but Remnants became Sephiroth, and all were promptly removed from the land of the living for good because of some water hidden under the floorboards in Aerith's church garden. Yeah, I don't get it either, don't worry.
Three months later, we're still here, waiting for the next mission. Rufus was healed of the stigma by the water, and after expecting him to die for two years, it's kind of strange getting used to the idea that he's here for good just like the rest of us. Without Shinra, he's nothing. The only reason he holds power is that we're willing to bend to his will, but for once, I'm not complaining.
Last month, Rufus spoke to us about the idea of moving on. Perhaps there was nothing left for us in Shinra, not now anyway. Not for a long time. The idea made us all uneasy. Even Tseng seemed lost at the prospect of a normal life. Without Avalanche opposing us as the bad guys, we have nothing left. Maybe we should move on… But how can anyone come back from that? Shinra's time has come and gone, and while people won't forget the lasting impact of the company, the Turks and the Shinra family are quickly fading from the forefront of the world's mind.
Elena was the first to take action. And why wouldn't she be? She always was the first to act upon her orders. She bought an apartment in the upcoming city of Edge outside the ruins of Midgar. Tseng either spends all of his time with her there or she's with him and Rufus. They're good together, surprisingly. I'm glad they're happy. Tseng deserves to smile more than anyone.
I think Elena's move is what made reality sink in. Our lives as we knew them are over. No more break room, no cafeteria lunches with Amelia, no more free uniforms from Omid. And it sucks. I know it's hard because I thought I'd have this forever—we all did. The jarring, sudden slam of the breaks that halted the world hit us just as hard as anyone else. I'll never forget it. Shinra ruined my life, but it saved it too.
The other day, Reno sat straight up in bed and told me he was ready to leave. He asked if I'd be willing to come. Of course, I said yes. We asked if Rude would join us. He didn't have anyone but us, and leaving him behind with Rufus didn't feel right. He was always our rock whether he wanted to be or not. Rudie nodded his big old bald head, and we started making plans to leave in a truck Reno had fixed up months ago in a desperate fit of boredom.
We'd been up since four loading the car with anything we felt we might need for the trip to… wherever. I don't even know where we're headed, honestly. I think that's why it's so exciting. I think it's why we felt alive.
Tseng and Elena were unexpected passengers. The blonde had spent the night with the rest of us in the lodge and there she stood, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with a stuffed duffel bag on her shoulder and a grin on her face.
"You guys really thought you could leave without us?"
Rude shrugged and tossed her bag into the back, but he was too late in concealing his smile. He was relieved. Elena and Tseng climbed into the truck bed and helped Rude secure a few more things as Reno climbed into the driver's seat to test the engine one last time. It started with a confident rumble and he shot me a thumbs up and a smile. I returned the gesture and patted my pocket for my phone. Shit, I almost left it here.
Quickly, I turned tail and hurried inside. The device sat on the counter, as eager to leave as the rest of us. I tried to be quiet, but the noise outside had already done its damage. Rufus walked out of the hall, tearing his eyes away from the window that faced the driveway. It felt wrong, standing there and knowing full well that we hadn't told him. We weren't sure how, and perhaps we feared that saying the plan out loud would force us to stay another two years.
Rufus pushed his hands into his pockets, already dressed in his favorite white suit, the same design he's worn since the day I met him. "So, you're really leaving?" he asked. I frowned at the counter where my phone rested. His voice sounded like that of a friend, not a superior. That was new—it still is.
"Yes sir."
He raised an eyebrow at that, unsure why I decided to bring back the formality after an eternity of forgetting it. "I don't hear that often."
I offered a small, pitiful smile and tucked my phone into my pocket. My chest ached and I wasn't sure how to tell him that I couldn't let go of people, that I wanted him to come, too. "You're going to be alright here alone?"
"I'll manage." Rufus's eyes traced the walls, as bored as his voice. "It's been a long time since I've been alone."
I bit my tongue, but I wasn't able to stop the words. "I'll miss you."
He didn't miss a beat, glancing over at me. "Even after all this?"
"Yeah." I forced a laugh around the lump in my throat. Why can't I say goodbye? "Not a single grudge about you shooting me, either."
"Impressive."
"Yeah…" I had to turn away and blink away the tears in my eyes, but he'd already seen them. "Well, they're waiting for me." He nodded once, waiting for me to go. "You can, uh, always come too. If you want."
He didn't say anything more, so I forced myself to leave, scrubbing away a tear that had slipped and hurrying to the truck. A smile tugged at my lips when I saw Tseng and Elena packed in the truck bed like a pair of dogs.
"Ready?" Elena asked cheerfully.
"Of course!" I threw open the passenger side door, climbed over Rude, and sat on the console. "When am I not?"
"You do love a good adventure," Reno remarked. He switched the truck into drive, letting off the brake, but he slammed down on it after glancing into the rearview mirror. "Wait, is that the boss?"
I whipped my head around to see Tseng pulling Rufus into the back of the truck to sit beside him and Elena, unable to control my smile. It all felt right. We may not be Shinra anymore, and we might not have a real reason to stick together, but to go our separate ways now feels wrong.
After that, we finally set off. We don't know where we're going or what we'll do when we get there, but for now, being together is enough. Together, lying under the stars beside a crackling fire with Reno's arm as my pillow and Elena's humming singing me to sleep. I know now that all of it—the blood, the pain, the tears, all of it—was worth it. It was the adventure of a lifetime, and I wouldn't give it up for anything.
Looks like we can finally let go and live a little.
~FIN~
Not me crying as I wrap up my quarantine baby :'(
As always, super thanks to everyone that made it through the story
It makes me happy when people enjoy my beloved babies, which also simultaneously the most disturbing parts of my brain lololololol
And if you're in need of something new to fill the new gap in your weekends, i have a bunch of other ff fics ;)
That's all!
